The Columbo Files – S3 E7 – Swan Song!

Hey, hey, hey, it's Chaos Queen here, and you're

listening to the Geekcast Radio Network. Hey,

it's Mistress Carrie, and you are listening to

Studio 2009. I was so proud of myself. Oh, God.

As a matter of fact, I don't even like being

this tall. There is nothing wrong with your podcast

player. Do not attempt to adjust the volume.

Hello and welcome back into our studio. You are

now inside Studio 2009, only on the Geekcast

Radio Network. I am, of course, TFGO Mike. Joining

me once again, as always, is that good old detective

Dave Draper. Hi, Dave. How are you? Great. Peachy.

Couldn't be better. I saw the light. No more

in darkness. No more night. Now I'm so happy.

No troubles in sight. Praise the Lord, I saw

the light. I'd rather be enveloped in darkness,

honestly. It wasn't okay. It's not my music,

but it's Johnny Cash. It's not my music, so at

least we agree on that. This is not our music,

folks. This is not our music. We're going to

talk about that, but yeah, no. It's related to

the episode. Yes, yes. In context of the episode,

yes, absolutely. In context of the episode, they

play that song 50 times. Yeah, because there

are four different versions of it. And that becomes

a plot point. Yeah. As always, continuing on

with our... journey for Columbo. We're putting

our trench coats on and jump back in time. Columbo

Files here inside Studio 2009. We're starting

at the beginning, going in order as always. 2BTV

is the main source here. Get them cheap on Amazon,

as I proved recently. No commercials. Yes, yes,

yes. Unless, you know. It was very nice to put

the disc in and play the episodes and watch it

in my comfy bed with my little portable DVD player

instead of... Oh, God. I forgot. I haven't watched

terrestrial TV or normal TV in, like, years.

Me either. And I'm so spoiled that, you know,

like, the YouTube commercial plays for 30 seconds

and I'm like, skip, skip, skip, skip. And these

things are going on and on and on. And I was

like, make it stop. Please make it stop. It won't

stop. That's why I pay for YouTube Premium. I

don't mind paying for you. I don't mind paying

a hundred and something a year for YouTube Premium

because it's well worth it. I was talking about

the commercial on Tubi. Well, yes, obviously.

I'm pointing at the screen going, where's the

skip button? I'm like Khan when, like, Kirk pulls

that thing. He's like, where's the override?

Where's the override? Where's the skip button?

Where's the skip button? Yeah, there's no skip

button. I was traumatizing. Yes. Sorry. Well,

that's what I get for buying DVDs from a resale

place. Mm -hmm. All is well now. Yes. Season

3, Episode 7, and we are attending the concert

of the century as Tommy Brown sings us a swan

song. Oh, boy. Yeah, and still to this episode,

we still do not have the line of just one more

thing. We still only have, excuse me, sir, this

or that or whatever. Yeah, which is weird. It

feels like such an iconic thing for Columbo,

and we're three seasons in. Yeah, we're three

seasons in, and I'm wondering, like, Did it only

become iconic in the 90s version? I don't know.

I don't think so. I'm wondering if it's like

a beam me up Scotty thing. Yeah. He said it,

but he never really did. Maybe. I don't know.

I'm certainly did at one point. I could have

sworn. This one was directed by Nicholas Colasanto,

coach from Cheers. Oh, yeah. So this is a Nicholas

Colasanto episode. As we've mentioned, Johnny

Cash is Tommy Brown. Ida Lupino as Edna Brown

and Bonnie Van Dyke as Marion Cobb. That was

a complex and challenging role. Not really. Look

startled for five seconds, have one line of dialogue,

and then pass out and die. Yes. I was wondering

how that was, like, I was, this episode, like,

the way this starts, and we've talked about this

in this third season, how the murder usually,

like, the first two seasons, the murder usually

happened within the first, I would say, five

and a half to ten minutes. Yeah. Usually, most

of the time. Maybe not always, but most of the

time. This third season, the murder is usually

taking up to the first 16 to 20 minutes. Because

I think I even... Did I clock this episode or

was it the next one that we'll do? The final

episode, I forget. Well, yeah, that one's...

That one's a whole other thing. That one's a

little twisty. Yeah, that one's very twisty,

Charney. But no, it was the next one. It was

the next one that I clocked. I clocked how long

it took before Columbo was in. Or before the

police were in. But this one, it seemed like

it just went on and on. And I get it. It's Johnny

Cash. I get it. You have Johnny Cash on your

television show. You want Johnny Cash to do what

Johnny Cash does. You want him to sing. I get

that. And... The thermos almost... I was... We'll

set up the episode. Johnny Cash is a – technically

he's a country singer because they say that.

But he's doing gospel. And his wife Edna is like

one of these sort of early televangelist types.

She's technically not a televangelist. She's

actually just a backup singer in his thing. But

she's using the money to build like a temple.

She's very religious. And he's a bit of a – you

know, it's Johnny Cash. You like him. But you

can't get past the fact that he is kind of slimy.

And Marianne, that font of charisma, is a girl

that he had had a thing with a couple years ago

when she was underage. Yes. And so now Edna is

kind of keeping her close as like a weapon and

threatening to reveal. She's basically blackmailing

Tommy. Pretty much, yeah. If he doesn't do what

she says, she'll reveal that he had statutory

rape. Yep. And his whole thing is he's actually

– I kind of agree that he's being – with him

that he's being reasonable. He's like, look,

how about we split the money? I get some money

for what I do because I do all the work, and

you get some money for your temple. And she's

like, no. God says no. So he basically – he's

apparently a very bad pilot, but a pilot. Yeah,

he's not trained. Yeah, he's not – He's trained.

He just – He was in the Korean War. This is the

episode where we find out that Columbo was in

Korea. He was in the Korean War, and he tried

to be a pilot, and he washed out. So he was trained,

but he's not instrument trained, which is a technical

thing. That comes up. His thing is he's flying

one of those little puddle jumper planes the

next gig, and it's bad weather, and he basically

dopes up the coffee in a thermos, gives it to

the girls in the back, They pass out. And what

he did do in the Army or in the Air Force after

he washed out was he was a parachute rigger,

which is funny. It's one of those things like

he's a parachute rigger, but they also make a

big deal that everybody packs their own parachute.

What did he do? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's

like I'm a guy who rigs parachutes, but nobody

has a pre -rigged parachute. They rig their own.

Yeah. Yeah, what are you? What are you doing?

What do you contribute to this? Well, it is the

U .S. government, so that makes sense. But anyway,

so he has his own parachute. He jumps out of

the plane at the last minute. And one of the

things I like is that they established that the

parachute wasn't quite big enough. And he jumped

at the last minute, and he ends up breaking his

leg. There are consequences to his hasty actions.

The plane blows up, and he hides the parachute.

and pretends to have been thrown clear of the

plane at the last second. And Edna has a brother

who sort of works for the whole organization,

who brings in Columbo because he thinks, he's

convinced that it was all a scheme. He's right,

actually, it turns out. And that's how Columbo

gets involved. Yep, yep. And just, yeah, like...

She's supposed to be the Lamb of God, and he's

supposed to be the devil, essentially, is what

this is supposed to... I guess, but she's a...

She's even worse. I don't want to use the word,

because I'll get in trouble, but he's basically

just a flawed human. Yeah. So you like him, and

in fact, that's the last line of the episode,

is about how anyone who can sing that good can't

be all bad. Columbo still believes in him somewhat.

This is an ex -con. But he is flawed. He likes

the ladies. He's got very earthly desires. She's

the reason that I'm not a religious person. She's

one of those people that's just all... Because

God's on my side, I can do whatever I want, I

can behave however I want, I can stomp all over,

I can be mean to everybody, because I am righteous.

And it's like, ugh, go away. Yeah. Is it the

first time that we've seen someone being blackmailed?

Like, that gets killed? I know that comes up

a couple more times. No, I don't know. It does

seem like a thing with a lot of Columbos, or

at least the ones that I really remember, where

like, You do start to get into this area where

the victims are almost as dislikable as the killer.

In fact, the killer sometimes is more sympathetic

than the victims. Yeah, yeah. I know we've had

blackmail in the past. I don't know if it's so

much so of what you're asking as far as the victim

being more vile than the killer kind of thing.

uh we do have which is i'm very happy about this

the whole time that tommy is asking colombo what

can i do for you what can i do for you let me

get you a drink let me know thank you sir i'm

on duty i think this is the first time in three

like i don't this is the first time i remember

him actively saying it i've heard him say to

people no thank you I think there's only been

two episodes where we've actually seen him drink.

The one where he had a thing of... I don't remember

if we ever saw him drink. We just saw him accept

a glass. And then there was any port of storm

where the wine thing was part of the episode.

This is the first time I think he's ever said,

I'm on duty. Yeah, exactly. I didn't realize

sleeping and air sickness pills are similar.

Are that similar? I don't know if they are or

not. I don't have any clue. Yeah, I'm not a doctor.

Also, it was the mid -70s, so maybe back then...

Maybe back then they were. I mean, you know,

stuff for aching baby gums was liquor. You know

what I mean? Like, back then, medicines were

a little more loosey -goosey than they are these

days. That's very true. You're telling me. Oh,

boy. Let's see what else do I got here. Planting

the seeds with the troops. So Columbo does this

whole thing of, I'm going to call the Boy Scouts,

and I'm going to call this and call that, and

we're going to comb the mountains. Too bad they

didn't actually get a comb. Eh, yeah. Well, that's

where that joke comes from. Cove the desert.

Yes. We had found shit. That was the joke I was

referring to. Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Gotta love it.

Gotta love it. No, I like this one. I thought

it was interesting. I thought it was fun. I thought

it was good. I just, I don't know. I mean, I

kind of figured you might have an issue with

this one just based on the music. They play that

song a lot. I think your enjoyment of this particular

episode will be somewhat contingent on how well

you can handle the song. I'm fine with it. Again,

I'm not a religious person. I don't particularly

like gospel music. I'm not a huge fan of country

music. I like some songs. Again, for me, it's

Johnny Cash. He does it well. It's not my favorite

song he ever does. It's not a top 10 favorite

Johnny Cash song he ever does. I do play it a

lot, but it's fine. It's fine. For me, it's part

of the... I'm not watching Columbo for the music.

You know what I mean? It's fine. It's fine. Yeah.

I mean... I like watching Columbo for the music

for the episode, for the soundtrack, for the

show itself. There are certain stingers in this

show that are really good that we've talked about.

And there's going to be one next time for the

finale that I think I wrote a note down for.

But specifically to this episode, yeah, you're

absolutely right. This is not for everybody.

I muddled through. I didn't find myself looking

at like, how long is this? Like, this is a 94

minute episode, but like, like both of these,

this week's episode and today's episode and tomorrow's

episode, like both of them are 94 minutes. And

I think the season finale felt longer than this

one did to me. It did. I agree. The whole rat

race of what's going on in a friend. Indeed.

But we'll talk about that later. But this one,

yeah, no, I didn't get sick of the song, but

I was just like, okay, can we just get the parachute

out of the tree, please, and wrap this up? Cash

was an okay actor. Obviously, he's a better musician

than an actor. But the role that he had to play

here was nice. Well, I mean, he was basically

playing himself. Because Cash famously was an

ex -con, a country singer, and was very gospel.

I mean, he was a country singer, but he did have

that gospel connection. Yeah. Yeah. And the rest

of the cast did a really good job. Ida Lupino

as Edna Brown. Man. Talk about hell on heels.

You don't like her. Talk about hell on heels.

Yeah, yeah. You're not supposed to. Oh, boy.

Gee, that's a spitfire right there. I think my

favorite part of this episode was Columbo and

the FAA investigator working together. Yeah,

Pangborn. I was like, that's cool. I think that's

interesting. That was fun. You know something,

Lieutenant? I could use a man like you on my

team. It's really nothing but detective work.

Oh, no. Thank you very much. You fellas, you

have to fly. Sure. We're all pilots. Oh, no.

Not for me. Thank you very much. I wouldn't qualify

for that. Why? We teach you. I appreciate it,

sir, but my ears pop in an elevator. As a matter

of fact, I don't even like being this tall. I

like the moment when Pangborn goes back to the

interview and then he kind of turns around and

goes to Dr. Columbo. Yeah. That was kind of cool.

Yep. Yeah, him basically driving the TV people

crazy. Like, okay, stop. Okay, start. Okay, stop.

Mr. Pangborn, please, just give us five minutes.

Did you catch Sorrel Brooks' cameo in that episode?

In this one? Yes. No, I did not. Boss Hogg was

the... Remember when he goes to the studio and

there's a whole bit about the concert the night

before? Remember the guy in the weird glasses

with the hippie glasses? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. That's

awesome. That's great. That's so cool. But yeah,

this is probably not one I would watch again.

I like this one. Like I said, I figured this

might be a rough one for you just because of

the gospel music. They do play a different song

a couple of times. Something about a morning.

That's the phrase of the song. They do play a

different one every now and then, but it is mostly

I Saw the Light. I liked it. I think it was a

good one. I liked the little twist at the end

where Columbo plants the seed and Tommy doesn't

seem like he takes the bait and he gets on a

plane and leaves. Columbo being Columbo doesn't

let it go. He kind of hangs out and waits for

him to turn around and come back and look for

the parachute. Yeah. I like that line at the

end. Anyone who has a voice like yours can't

be all bad. Yeah, exactly. This is one of those

ones where you really get the sense that Columbo

kind of likes this guy. It was this one where

there's that moment. This is the first time watching

these this time around. I've noticed that there

are those moments where you see, sometimes, where

you see it click in Columbo's head. Yep. And

this had that episode where, like, I think it

was when he was talking to the guy at the, it's

either the weird colonel at the Air Force Academy.

He's sitting there, and there's this moment where

he kind of does this thing where, you know, he

puts his hand on his forehead. Yeah. You know,

that's the moment he realizes Tommy did it. Yep.

Oh, the guy at the, the colonel at the Air Force

Academy. A wacky colonel. Who is that? Oh, my

God. I have no idea. I know who it is. I know

who it is. Because I've seen, I think. Oh, yeah,

he's definitely a 70s character actor. No, no,

no, I know. But, like, I think I want to, okay,

without, even though I'm trying. No, I'm not

going to make that connection. Thank you very

much. I'm going to try my best to make a Christmas

Vacation connection, though, because I think

that he was one of the father -in -laws in Christmas

Vacation. I think. But while I'm looking for

that, any other final thoughts from you on Swan

Song? We also got Vito Scotti again, who is another

character actor. the tailor in the episode that

you love, Candidate for Crime. This time he was

the mortuary guy. Yeah, he comes up a couple

times. The guy's name is John... Oh, no, wait,

that's not him. John Randolph is the colonel.

That's Pangborn. No, it's not. According to this,

it is. Colonel Mayhew Mayhoff is John Randolph.

Pangborn is John Deere. Dinner. John Randolph

was... Yeah, you're right, you're right. I'm

looking at the picture and you're right, but

somebody entered this wrong. Okay, well, then

that's on them. I'm not saying you're right and

Google is wrong. Oh, wow. Randolph is Frankenstein's

and Seinfeld before being replaced by Jerry Stiller.

Yep. He was, as I mentioned, in 1909, he played

Clark Griswold Sr. He played Clark's father.

Yeah. I knew I recognized him. Jesus. Is it Pritzy's

Honor? He was in Heaven Can Wait. Oh, John Randolph.

Duke. Duke and Duke. He's one of the Duke brothers

from Trading Places. He was... Was he Randolph

or Mortimer? I think he was Randolph. Because

the other guy was Mortimer. Forget who the other

guy is off the top of my head. But yeah. But

yeah, no, this... Yeah, man. It surprises...

I wasn't sure... Obviously, next time we'll talk

about A Friend Indeed, but as you all know, folks,

by the time you're listening to these, when we

record these, we record them two at a time. When

I was looking at these to see, like, okay, these

are the final two episodes of this season, what

guest stars are we going to get from 1974? And

I'm like, huh. The seventh episode almost has

more guest stars that I almost know no more than

the eighth one did. So there's that. Yep. All

right. Anything else for a swan song? No, I like

it. I think it's a good episode. Like I said,

it might try your patience a little bit. I like

when Columbo has a more friendly relationship

with the antagonist. There's a lot of interesting

little details. One of the things I like about

Tommy is that he's very quick on his feet. And

I think the sad thing is, I think he has a surprisingly

well -thought -out plan, all things considered.

And I think the problem was that it was such

a risk. The actual crash was itself a risky proposition

that he couldn't get the parachute out. Because

he's always got an answer for it. When it's like,

well, why didn't you bring your guitar with you?

Why did you do this? Why did you do that? He's

always got a really solid answer. Like the thing

about the sleeping pills being similar to air

sickness pills. Yep. You know, and we're like,

well, I don't know if that's true or not. Who

knows? But, you know, there's always like a –

he's very quick on his feet, and it's just the

fact that he couldn't get that parachute out.

And there was the crazy lady at the seamstress

place. She was weird. She was fun. That was a

fun scene. It was interesting because usually,

I don't remember a lot. I mean, there's that

one guy I mentioned who was the funeral director.

He's been in a couple episodes. But usually the

characters around Columbo aren't wacky. And this

time you had the wacky colonel and you had the

wacky seamstress. There were a lot of weird side

characters this time around. Yeah. I think that's

because it's a celebrity. Because the criminal

is a celebrity type thing, maybe. It's not your

standard everyday... It's not your... What's

the... Well, novelist would be a different crowd.

I'm not sure where you're going with that. I'm

trying to think. It's not your... I'm trying

to think of which case it was. Crap. Come on,

Columbo. Think, Mike. Think. What the hell? I

do love that this was another classic case of

Mrs. Columbo loved the killer. Yep. Yep, yep,

yep. I sometimes think that's how Columbo solves

cases. It's like Columbo goes to his wife and

is like, do you know who this guy is? Oh, you

love him. He did it. It's all his fault. You

always pick him, sweetheart. Yep. She always

solves it for him. Not really. Whoever she likes

has got to be a monster. Which probably means

Columbo is the biggest serial killer in LA history.

There's just a Dexter -style dungeon beneath

the Columbo household. Oh, my God. No. Oh. Oh.

Oh, excuse me, sir. One more thing. Just one

more thing. Just one more serial killer. One

more stab. One more poke. Yep. Pokey poke. Yep,

yep, yep. All right. Zero to five with half points.

What are you going to give? What the hell is

it? Swan Song. Swan Song. I'm going to give it

a four. I think it's a good episode. I think

it's solid. Yeah. It does really... The music

does push your buttons a little if you're not

into it. But other than that, I think it's a

solid episode. I think Johnny Cash is a... I

think it was a good guest star. I think it was

a good get. Yep. The music didn't bother me as

much as I thought it would. even hearing that

same song over and over and over again. I think

that's the main thing is it's, it's the same

song so many times. Yeah. Well, and the thing

is, is how like at close to the end, when he

goes, when Columbo goes back to the office with

the multiple tapes. Yeah. This is how you recorded

it here, or this is how you recorded it originally.

This is the live recording. This is the... Yeah,

this is the one that's on the radio, and this

is the live recording, because the one had Marianne,

and the one had a new girl. Yep. It's kind of

like the coat. It's kind of like the coat, where

it was like, it takes you a week to re... I don't

know the word. I don't know music. But redo the

thing to have a different kind of... Marianne

had one kind of voice, and the other girl had

a different kind of voice. Yeah, Tina had a different...

Tina, and it takes like a week to reconfigure

a thing, and how did you know you were going

to replace Marianne if you didn't know, you know,

she wasn't dead yet? Yep. Absolutely. So yeah,

I agree. Four all around. Absolutely. Who are

you? I'm Lieutenant Columbo. I'm from the LAPD

Homicide. Homicide? What's he been telling you

about me? Well, if we could just talk privately,

there's nothing to get excited about. Just want

to ask some routine questions. Yeah, so like

we said, folks, fours all around. We're going

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folks, we are back here inside Studio 2009. This

is episode 177. Any final thoughts from you,

sir? Anything you'd like to say before I run

through the closing? No. I'm good. Okay. That

sounds like his no every time I ask him if he's

on social media. I don't have anything else to

say. It was a good episode. The dog wasn't in

it, and the car didn't really feature that heavily.

The little Columbo -isms. Columbo was Columbo,

but there weren't really a lot of classic Columbo

-isms. There's going to be a lot of classic Columbo

next episode, though. Except for the dog. The

dog's not in the next episode. It's a good thing

the dog's not in the next episode. Zero out of

five stars. No, no, no. No, no, no. It's a good

thing the dog's not in the next episode because

I'd be afraid the dumbass police commissioner

would go after the dog. Ugh. Next episode. Y

'all better be prepared for episode 178 of this

podcast because we might be... Thank you for

joining us inside the studio. If you'd like to

get in contact with us, leave feedback for the...

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I am at TF2 on Mike. Dave doesn't do social media.

No! Thank you. Welcome. If you're a fan of Facebook,

go to facebook .com slash geekcastradionetwork.

You can also check out Studio 2009 podcast over

there as well. Join us next time, as I mentioned,

Season 3, Episode 8, the season finale, A Friend

Indeed. For now, I am TFG1 Mike with... Draper.

You'll hear us back in the studio soon. Anything

else? Oh, sure, that should about do it. Thank

you. Go ahead, you can take that. I'm finished.

Thank you, sir.