Unfair Science Fair

There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation

until school comes along just to end it So the

annual problem for our generation is finding

a good way to spend it Episode 23 day 23 here

on the podcast organizational equal acronym brought

to you by the geek cast radio network I am one

of your hosts here. Joe and Mike joining me as

usual is pig awkward Michael. Hello. Hey, how's

it going? It's going and today is all about the

science fair ladies and gentlemen Did you ever

enter any science fairs in school? I did not

I tried a couple of times, but they were very,

very unsuccessful. Your experiments did not pan

out, huh? Yeah, no. They did not function properly

at all. Your potato clock did not work. That's

the other part. The volcano didn't work. Yeah,

the baking soda volcano I forgot the baking soda

and I used hot sauce Wow That's that's brilliant.

Um Well, you had to make it look like actual

lava and it's either that or ketchup and ketchup

doesn't really look like lava Hot sauce does

so it's true. It's true. I Actually, I tried

to build one of those once and you know, we didn't

have any vinegar and we didn't have any Baking

soda so I had nothing to mix it with and I I

don't think I even had anything vaguely red to

make it lava I was sad. In fact, I think I had

to make the the actual volcano out of mashed

potatoes You know the funny thing is about the

baking soda volcano here in this episode is that

in a later episode? We will get dr. Dukman Schmirch's

layer inside a volcano It's the episode where

he's trying to do big laundry and the monkeys

put the red stuff in with the whitewash and it

turns into a whole big pink mess. And then later

on Phineas says, Candice, run, pink lava. Pink

lava? She turns around, this giant thing of pink

lava coming out of the volcano. Wait until mom

and dad find out. Run, Candice! So that's something

to look forward to. Echo part. Sounds pretty

serious. Baljeet, it's Phineas and Ferb. Why

are all the lights off? Darkness is a shroud

that hides my shame. Hey buddy, why don't you

tell us what's going on? Because of the 17 summer

school classes I am taking, I qualified for the

science fair. So I decided to design this. A

portal to Mars? Cool! No, not cool. When I showed

my teacher, he said, a portal to Mars. And what

does it do? Well, without over -complicating

things, it's a portal to Mars. You step through

it and you're on Mars. Well, this is very...

creative. But unless you can build a working

model, the best I could give you is an A -! That

would be the worst grade of my life! Why don't

you just build one? I am not mechanically inclined

like the two of you. Alright, Unfair Science

Fair, this is part one. Technically not a two

-parter, but I consider a two -parter since the

other story is Unfair Science Fair Redux. Baljeet

is discouraged about his prospects at a science

fair, so Phineas and Ferb decide to help him

build a portal to Mars. Candice competes with

Wendy for a job to be with Jeremy. Meanwhile,

Dr. Dufn Schmertz seeks to overcome a past rival,

a bicarbonate volcano. bicarbonate that's funny

bicarbonate it's what it says you know actually

I thought that this episode was called what should

we do today because I didn't I didn't see the

title in the beginning and I rewound it like

three times to find the title and all they had

was their slideshow and the opening the opening

slide was what should we do today and that's

That's what I wrote down for the title, because

that's what I thought it was called. This is

unfair science fair. Isabella does a good Beljeet.

She does, yeah. I thought that was very convincing.

I like that Beljeet is having a bad day, so he's

gone emo. Yeah, he's like a Lego Batman. Darkness!

No parents! Martha is the safe word. My mother's

name is Martha. So is mine. He says darkness

is a shroud that hides my shame. He's just this

poetic little nerd, little emo nerd. Makes me

giggle. This is the first of what is possibly

many episodes with Baljeet that Buford was not

here. So I'm wondering what the heck Buford was

doing all this time between this episode and

the redux portion of the episode he was cowering

in his bedroom afraid of Octopus is just as Susie.

Yeah So Doofenshmirtz makes a comment to Perry

about looking like a walking cuckoo clock Because

of a later hosen or whatever the hell okay, it's

just something about He would have worn something

but it made him look like a walking cuckoo clock.

I'm like, what the hell do finch mertz? I think

I may have missed that Yeah, I like his backstory

Baking soda volcanoes are better than in naters

Yeah, we get the origin of the innate or his

first senator You're not very good at naming

them. So we just got a big sign that says in

a tour. Yeah What does this even do? I don't

even oh, yeah, it just shoots a red random beam

into space You're getting ahead of yourself.

Stop it. Stop it. I know all right So we get

the portal to Mars we get mr. McGillicuddy. He's

not exactly You know like a teacher Not a good

person, in general. There's that, but he's not

exactly believing Baljeet. Right. And once they

get the portal working, he looks, oh, a science

fair on Mars? Mars? Thank you, Baljeet. You have

validated my entire educational teaching career.

Your entire career isn't educated. That's right.

Well, it's funny that he... You know, it doesn't

believe that he could make one. And he's like,

what exactly does your portal to Mars do? And

he's like, well, I don't want to dumb it down,

but you step through it and you are on Mars.

Yeah, that's what a portal to Mars is. We skipped

entirely the Bollywood musical. It's better that

we did. No, I like to you know, Bollywood is

right. Yes, it's India's version of Hollywood.

Yeah, where they have huge dance numbers with

elephants and belly dancers. I don't want to

say, like, Indian stereotypes, but yeah, Indian

stereotypes. The whole thing is about how Belgium

is not... That's somewhere else. The what? Dumbo

can go work for peanuts at RK Maroon Studios.

Oh, they're actually elephants in Bollywood musicals.

Yeah, I know. But the whole thing is about how

Belgium is not mechanically inclined. Yes. But

they managed to make an entire portal to Mars

in the montage. Well, as Ferb said in one of

the other episodes, it usually takes them a montage.

Yeah, that was fast. It usually takes a whole

montage. Yeah, it would have it would have been

shorter if Baljeet hadn't been holding the hammer

backwards Or the wrench upside down the wrenches

on his nose each other What do I do with this?

Get it off get it off It just goes to show you

that or according to doofenshmirtz. It just shows

to go you that Baljeet is not Not mechanically

inclined at all that mechanically inclined exactly

And as he's driving was hilarious as he's driving

he stops and he's you know, he's he's telling

his back story to Perry and Somebody behind him

beeps and he's like, oh sir. Oh, I'm sorry man

This woman comes up I expected it's bigger but

the funny thing is is What I found hilarious

was did she call him Hansel? Or did she call

him an asshole? I can see how you would be mistaken.

I distinctly heard Hansel. Okay. Because he was

in Lederhosen. Okay. I bet you're wondering why

I'm wearing the Lederhosen. He's like, I don't

care, you know. And the funny thing is, if she

did say Hansel, the only thing I can think of

is that old Bugs Bunny short. with him, Hansel

and Gretel, and Witch Hazel, when Witch Hazel

is gonna eat them. Yeah, yeah. And he's like,

run for your little wives' children, she is a

witch who will eat you, what are your names?

I am Gretel, and I am Hansel. Hansel, yeah. Hansel,

Hansel, Hansel. Were they wearing lederhosen?

No, they weren't, I don't think. So what was

interesting here is that Candice did not try

to bust her brothers in this episode. She didn't

get a chance to. But on the flip side, Mr. McGillicutty

desperately wanted to show off this this portal

of Mars. But he every time he tried to bring

the judges over to see it, it would it would

either stop working or would disappear altogether.

So he's kind of getting the Candace feeling here.

He knows how Candace feels whenever she tries

to bring her mom over to Buster Brothers. Yeah,

but then he turns it up to full power and then

he plugs it into a high voltage outlet. Which

then propels the rest of the episode and puts

Doofenshmirtz on Mars. Well, it's funny because

the... They show how Doofenshmirtz gets sucked

into the device, and then it just goes bloop!

And it's gone. It gets... You know... What's

the term I'm looking for? That explodes. Implodes!

It implodes into the vortex, and disappears.

Which left McGillicuddy doing the McGillicuddy

version of B -B -B -B -Butt! B -B -B -B -Butt!

And then but at the very end you get the the

montage montage the Bollywood musical again Where

they go there's Perry Perry Also this episode

like we said like I said earlier you got Candice

and some other chick new chick named Wendy Vying

for a job at slushy dog or slushy burger or whatever

It's called now I guess they never make up their

minds whether it's called the slushy dog place

or the slushy burger place at this point So they

have this whole contest of who can dress the

dogs the fastest, right? Was a little this was

a send -up of a Lucille ball skit wasn't it I

Think so. Yeah. Yeah, well they end up spraying

each other with condiments Yeah, probably yeah,

I I Don't even understand why this is included

I mean To be honest, I was having more fun with

Baljeet and Phineas and Ferb as the a story and

two fin smarts and his volcano as the B story

That I could have done without the Candace getting

a job see story Yeah, I mean This is the second

job if she would have gotten this job It would

have been her second job because she did work

at hearty heart toy store for a while. Yeah,

that's true Because they're terrible people and

I don't think Wendy ever comes back You know,

if you have a food fight at a fast food place,

you're not exactly going to work there anymore.

Yeah, they tend to frown upon that. Yeah. But,

you know, it didn't even have any bearing on

the next episode, which was the unfair science

fair redux or another story. I mean, there's

there's a lot going on in that episode that dovetails

nicely with this episode. But they don't revisit

her having this job. I mean honestly they could

have excised that whole sea story and Strengthened

the first two and and it would have been a much

better Well, not only would have been a much

better story, but it would have blended more

seamlessly with the second episode Yeah, what

are you gonna give us unfair science fair? Oh,

you know, I wasn't even thinking of giving this

a Its own grade because I kind of bundled it

with the second one almost as if they were a

double episode But yeah again aside from the

the strangely shoehorned Candice story I really

like this episode. So I would have given it a

four All right. I'm gonna give it a four and

a half. I really really dug it I wish I could

go to some cool faraway place and start over

Wait a minute. Those are Phineas and Ferb's bikes.

Inside, I am thanking you a thousand times, even

though on the outside I remain quite frugal.

See you tomorrow. What are you guys up to? We

just built a teleport to a cool, far away place.

Well, that's all I needed to hear. Candice Flynn

is out. Peace. Welcome to Mars. Mars? Unfair

science -fair redux. While Phineas and Ferb are

helping Baljeet to build a portal to Mars for

the science fair, Candice comes to think that

no one, not even her own friends, wants to hang

out with her. An accidental trip to Mars lifts

her spirits. Meanwhile, Perry helps dieherduffenschmerz

shop for supplies for his baking soda volcano.

Now, according to the wiki, this was the season

one finale. Oh, really? Okay. It's what it says

in the description. Yeah. Um... And I think the

reason why, you know, you said that the Candice

C story from Unfair Science Fair doesn't dovetail

into this is because this happens, Unfair Science

Fair Redux happens 24 hours before the science

fair. This is before she was even at the Googleplex

mall. Right, right. Yeah, I'll buy that. But

everything that happens here leads up to the

a story of the B story Right because at the end

of the ace at the end of the unfair science fair

Isabella asks him You built the portal to Mars

and you didn't even go through it. Oh We did

but that's another story That's right how they

set set that up and how it all dovetails into

this. Yeah Again, when you put these two side

-by -side, they are they are chronologically

out of order They are they are just like just

like pulp fiction Yeah, I told you you guys see

that one What what did you like about redux I

liked it all Candice is very upset because she

gets this the strange cryptic text from from

Stacey that uh she can't figure out what it says

but she immediately assumes it says Candice you

loser Brad bad friendships fail Stacey i'm sorry

it was Stacey not uh yeah that's what i meant

Yeah, Stacey with an s Stacey. Yeah. Yeah, that's

what I said So and she she's just so hard on

herself So she can't find anyone to hang out

with so instead she goes to Mars as one does

As one does as one does and of course they had

to you know, make fun of the Mars Rover and all

that I've been staring at the screen for 20 years

and nothing while on the screen Candice is waving

her arms frantically. Yeah I'm shutting this

place down. That's right. You know she could

have if she was stuck there any longer. She could

have just planted potatoes. Oh Okay, so the other

thing we gotta talk about is yes, it's am I meant

to talk about this yesterday? Well, actually

I'll I'll talk about it tomorrow. Actually not

not yesterday tomorrow out to lunch chronologically

unsound Yes, well Was it have a record 20 something

episodes? Yeah, this is 23 Yes 23 If she goes

to Mars, they all go to Mars. Well, not all,

but she, and Phineas, and Ferb, and all end up

on Mars. Right. And even Dr. Doofenshmirtz at

the end ends up on Mars because of Unfair Science

Fair Part 1. Right. None of them have helmets

on, or space suits, or anything. That's right.

We're all just assumed to believe that they can

breathe on Mars. That's right. I don't buy that.

You know... You don't want to let the end of

Total Recall cloud your vision of what being

on Mars is like. Which version? Schwarzenegger,

the only good one. Oh, the only good one. That's

right. Yeah. Whereas eyeballs are bugging out

and he's like, oh, yeah. We should have a conversation

later about the actual effects of vacuum on the

human body. We will. When we go out to launch

we go out to That's right out to launch That's

funny I like that Perry agrees to help this build

a giant volcano And so they go there there at

the supermarket together I love to buy like 55

gallon drums of vinegar or something And their

grocery cart bumps into monogram And Carl is

in the kitty seat. Yeah It's like how how old

is Carl and why is he in the kitty seat? They

they do this thing from time to time where and

this will happen in future episodes Where Carl

is always the the kid or the little there's a

whole episode where he goes undercover and Tries

to become one of their friends um... okay i seem

to remember him being like in a baby carriage

or something yeah yeah that was probably the

uh... was what what yeah it was the um... it

was perry with the ice cream mobile yeah uh...

uh... uh... well we'll get to all that Alright,

so... Did you see the John Carter reference?

In this one? No. No? Oh! Candice as the Princess

of Mars? Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because

for some reason she hates Mars rovers. Oh. Yeah,

that's... that's... okay. I'm interested in John

Carter herself. Well, don't see the John Carter

movie. Read the book if you can. It's a little

more entertaining. The book the movie was awful.

Holy cow. Was it awful? Yeah, I have seen I've

seen like comic adaptations From like Mobius

like like famous artists that are ten times better

than that movie But yeah, if you can read the

book, it's interesting but as I was saying Candice

princess of Mars Because the Martians take her

lead as far as beating up on Mars rovers They

bring you like four or five of them and like

beat up on this one now How about this one beat

up on this one? I? Don't think there's been that

many What was kind of surprising is that the

Martians can all combine into this super giant

right state of Martian man. It's a just gestalt.

I can't pronounce it gestalt Yeah, very German.

That's a Ducal Stalt. It's a Dummpfal Stalt.

Prepare for extermination. That's right. He says,

marches, combine. There you go, exactly. Combine

and move in for the kill. Oh, you mentioned earlier

about the First -Nator. That's my first senator.

I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. The senator

that blows up. Oh, and he fires. He says, oh,

that's what that does. It just shoots a little

green laser. But it actually obliterates the

Candace monument that they made for her on Mars.

So she can't prove that she was actually there.

Right. And mom says, oh, it kind of looks like

a rhesus monkey with a powdered wig. That's right.

But the funny thing is, though, That they You

know again, we're all about the a story and the

B story intertwining now We have the a story

and the B story from individual episodes Intertwining,

you know, so it's like well we have this senator

And it was his first nadir that lost the Lost

the the science fair to the volcano Yeah, right

and now you know, but he still got it and he

fires it off in it in it And it destroys the

monument in the second episode Yeah, so that

so the canvas can't show it to her mom it's it's

like oh that is really cool It's almost like

that. Oh, what was that one episode where he

had like all the igniters? And they were like,

oh, yeah that anyway not to get ahead of myself

here but No, I like this one Yeah, I like this

one a lot too. I like especially the ending where

it Does a severe sword fishtail back to the original

episode when Doofenshmirtz ends up on Mars and

Right the real ending, you know, he is sucked

into the the implosion and He's not destroyed.

He actually ends up on Mars Right, right so does

the portal and all that other stuff that was

there right in the science fair with him, right

and He goes, oh you're going to make me the king

of Mars and they just kind of look at him and

then they just walk right away volcano. Oh Come

on. They were in the book. It was funny because

it's like he has this giant volcano It gets destroyed

in the process. So guess who wins the The science

fair is a little girl who has four mechanical

arms That she used to make a volcano So they

award they awarded to her not for her mechanical

arms because she let her doctor octopus arms

But the fact that she made a very small fake

volcano Yeah Absolutely. Yeah, so I think a fake

volcano gets awarded an award in at least four

times in these two episodes. There's gotta be

a record for that, I think. Doofenshmirtz just

can't get a win, I guess. Can't catch a break,

no matter how old he is. And it's funny, because

he's like, aren't you a little old to be, you

know, signing up for a science fair? And he's

like, well, I'm wearing laterhosen. Like, that's

an explanation. And he goes, OK then, come on

in. What would you rate Redux? You know Sadly,

I think by itself this this one would would just

get a two by itself Well, you know the again

the a story the B story they don't intertwine

as nicely as I would expect but if you Combine

it with the first episode So if you take if you

take unfair science fair part one and two as

as a double episode Together they're easily a

five Right. Yeah, and again, you could probably

excise the the fast food thing It's like Candice

just became the queen of Mars and then came back

You think she would have something better to

do the next day than you know, try to pick up

a job at a fast food joint It's just kind of

demeaning if you will But I mean they could have

yanked that out. It would have been even better

but even as it is The two parts are so entertaining.

I'd give it a five You know, I'm gonna give part

204 I really enjoyed it. I thought it was funny

I thought it was an interesting way to morph

the events of what already happened into what

what potentially would have happened Well again,

that's in the lens of two of them together by

itself. It doesn't stand up very well. I Don't

think it was meant to stand up very well by itself

Hence why they paired them together why they're

together is one episode. You know and again in

this in this vein of Quentin Tarantino quantum

chronologically out of e Out of order I would

like to see I would like to see you know somebody

come back and edit these In such a way where

they're in chronological order and maybe pull

out that fast food bit so so you can actually

see you know exactly how how the the train of

events happened from beginning to end in order

yeah you'd have to chop up all all the uh the

the different parts of each episode put them

all back together but it would be neat to watch

it it would be a lot of work that no one's probably

gonna get paid to do so no one's probably gonna

There's a lot of, you know, sadly what would

happen is somebody would do this out of the goodness

of their hearts and their love for the show and

they would piece it all together and put it up

on YouTube and it would immediately get stricken

down for copyright infringement because it's

using parts from the show that are recognizable.

Yeah, well. Bullshit, I tell ya. It's, you know,

we can't all roll to the rescue bots. Exactly.

We're gonna take a quick break, come back with

final thoughts after this. Huh? Anyway, it will

all become clear soon enough. Come on, Ansel!

Move it! Hey, wise guy, I'm ex - Oh! Oh -ho -ho!

Sorry, madam. Sorry. Her voice was so masculine

and growly. I thought it was a man. I mean, people

must call her sir all the time on the phone.

It must be so im - She's standing right behind

me now, isn't she? Welcome to my throne room,

Future Tales. The Beast Unleashed podcast is

over, not gone. You can hear more of this great

podcast, discussing all the episodes of Beast

Wars and Beast Machines. on geekcastradio .com.

We include voice actor and writer interviews

with stellar hosting by Steve, Mike and Michael.

Head on over to iTunes or the Net or else I will

send you my vehicles to extract your spark and

destroy you. Holy crap Michael Michael what?

Man Finneas and Ferb sent him out to launch great

So folks Michael Wilson is not here when we originally

recorded for day 23 episode 23 of the podcast

organization without a cool acronym Here on the

cast radio network we Forgot to record the closing

of the show Sometimes that happens Michael and

I get to talking and we end up forgetting to

do the shit that we're supposed to do so this

is the closing to the unfair science fair and

unfair science fair redux and It it's not we're

not supposed to become lizard whispers until

season two But apparently there's a convention

of Steve's in town I don't think you're the Steve

we're looking for. You might want to check at

the Steve convention. Hey, Steve. Cool name,

Steve. Hey, Steve -arino. Steve! What? No, no,

not you. That's Steve. Steve has a giant monstrous

dinosaur! I guess they don't like chameleons.

Nice to see you again, Steve, old boy. Because

we have a very rare appearance of Steve Megatron

here on the Phineas and Ferb Review Show. Hello.

Hello. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. We buried Michael Wilson

on Mars. Yes, yes we did. We buried him with

all the Mars rovers Candace destroyed in the

Unfair Science Ferry. We sent him to the Martians.

Yes. Did you know? I love Feynman's line in Unfair

Science Faire Redux. Did you know they could

do that when they all cobble together and become

the Giant Martian? Michael and I talked about

this in the beginning of the show. Have you ever

done any science fairs? Did you ever do any science

fairs when you were in school? I did. We had

to do something and I can't honestly remember

very much of them. There was something with We

had to... It was something with flotation, kind

of like with the ducks and stuff, and then there

was another one where I did something with batteries

in the freezer. For the life of me, I cannot

remember all the details because of how young

I was at the time. Batteries and a freezer? Yeah.

It's better than putting them in a microwave

or an oven. Oh, yeah! I do better than that,

but... It was also something where we had to

grow a potato out in a jar out in the middle

of the yard and have controlled substances with

baking soda or vinegar or water. The only thing

I know with potatoes is the potato clock. and

of course this whole episode we had doof being

defeated by a baking soda volcano so there was

that alright folks that's gonna do it for this

episode of Palka tomorrow day 24 episode 24 Michael

and I will be back and we will be talking about

the two -parter out to launch this is where Phineas

and Ferb Their dad Lawrence gives them a basically

buys them a star from the International Star

Registry and they have to end up going to that

star and They find a milkshake bar and it almost

looks like the Cantina from Star Wars except

a little bit more rundown so Really quickly before

we get out of here before we get the furb out

of here What? after watching several episodes

of the show are you more or less interested in

it now. I mean, I'm not opposed to it like I

once was, but I'm not... If I came across a couple

that were interesting, such as I stumbled upon

the robot one, the Robot Treehouse by accident

in preparation for this, but that one wasn't

that bad. And then, as disturbing as that clip

was that you sent me about the... The Steven

Universe. I'm not sure what to think about it

other than that it was interesting. To put it

in the context for you and for everybody else,

what I sent him was I told him to watch three

episodes. I told him to watch Unfair Science

Fair and Unfair Science Fair Redux and the season

two episode, The Lizard Whisperer. Because in

that, they nicknamed their chameleon that they

find, Steve. And later in the episode, after

Steve gets hit by Doofenshmirtz's giantinator

or whatever, enlarginator, whatever it's called,

who knows, I forget off the top of my head, it

hits the chameleon and turns him into a giant

chameleon. Essentially, everyone in town thinks

it's a giant dinosaur. And because the chameleon's

name is Steve, they're looking for him, and they

go down the street and they run into all these

people named Steve, and then one of them says,

oh, you can check at the Steve convention. I'm

like, hey, that kind of fits, since you're doing

a little guest appearance here. And the lizard

Megatron. Yes, that's true. All right, folks,

I don't even know how to close out this episode

because I don't even oh Yeah, let's get the fur

body here. Yeah, let's get the fur body here.

That'll work That's one way to replace the f

-bomb. That's wait. There's more Well, you know,

it's like yeah, we just recorded an hour half

an hour's worth of Programming, but oh by the

way, he's dead. Yes Absolutely no sense It'll

make sense. We sent you to Mars. You're not dead.

You're just lost. I made him watch the episode

so he has context. Oh, he's watched the episode?

Yeah. Made him watch the episode. That's actually

the wrong one this morning. We were talking about.

Oh, awesome. There's not really any more. That's

about it.