Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Rant

Alrighty then! The who, the her. Hollywood really

needs to stop fucking around with history. Yes.

This is a movie we can review rant. I am Dave,

Joe, and Mike, and joining me is Steve Megatron.

Hello. Hello. Oh, boy. There are just some film

concepts whether they... Some media concepts

in general, whether they be film, books, comic

books, music, video game, there are just certain

aspects and certain things that I just think

should never be fucking made. And Abraham Lincoln

Vampire Hunter is one of them. I agree. You take

the most, one of the most beloved presidents

in our history as a country and you give him

a secret life as a white version of Blade. You've

got to be fucking kidding me. Yeah. Oh god. As

I said in um, in MWIRE episode. Yeah, 87. Yes.

Um. If he's such a good vampire hunter, how did

he manage to get shot in the back of the head

at the theater? I'm sorry, but if you're able

to hear vampires, you should damn well be able

to hear a freaking gun clicking behind your head

and get out of the way. Yes. So evidently something's

wrong there. Yeah. Alright, so I am going to

read a bit from Wiki here. I'm going to read

about the novel first. It's a fictional work

by Seth Graham Smith released on March 2nd, 2010

through New York -based publishing company Grand

Central Publishing. The general plot here is

the epistolary -style book is written as a biography

of Abraham Lincoln based on a secret diary kept

by the 16th President of the United States and

given to the author by the vampire named Henry

Sturgis. Okay, this is just... You don't... Okay,

I can believe something like the National Treasure

films because it's, you know, putting a twist

on our history and it's using real, you know,

myths or legends or, you know, it's using something

that has been heard in history. Yes, there is

some dramatic license on the National Treasure

films. But I'm sorry. Saying a United States

president is secretly a vampire hunter is the

dumbest thing in the fucking world. As far as

the movie goes, it's a 2012 American action fantasy

horror film based on the novel of the same name.

The film was directed and co -produced by Tamar

Bicab, along with Tim Burton. The novel's author,

Seth Graham Smith, wrote the adapted screenplay,

and Benjamin Walker stars as the title character.

The real -life figure Abraham Lincoln, the 16th

President of the United States, from 1861 to

65, is portrayed. In the novel, the film is having

a secret identity as a vampire hunter. Filming

began in Louisiana on March 2011, and the film

was released in 3D on June 20, 2012. Oh, God.

Over the years, I have become such a hater of

Tim Burton work. Uh, I just don't like his style

in a lot of films. But that's neither here nor

there at this point. This is by... Blasphemy.

Huh? That's blasphemy. What? The uh... The Tim

Burton comment? No. I don't care for him whatsoever.

Okay. Um, I was gonna say the screen with history

to put a interesting, non -interesting twist

on it. As far as Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter.

Yeah, or any other film that they try to do that

with yeah, I mean Sadly we live in a culture

today that it's you know Everyone believes that

zombies and vampires and werewolves are real.

Oh my I mean seriously That that's another rant

for another time which we may do tonight or not.

I don't know. But yeah, I don't plan on seeing

Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter I Wouldn't have

minded if it was like something that they made

up and not actually, you know Made up a story

and I know it's based on the novel and I know

there's a lot of people out there that really

liked the novel and that's all Well and good,

you know people aren't telling their opinion,

but this is just something that to me just desecrates

the history of the United States It just does

Which, yeah, we're probably taking it a little

too personally, but, you know, who cares? Oh,

I mean... I mean, in the grand scheme of things,

it's a fucking movie and I don't care. It's just,

you know, me having initial reactions to stuff

is... If I like it, I like it. If I hate it,

I hate it. And this just... It just seems disrespectful

to me. to write a story or to have a movie about

this type of subject saying that you know and

you're right if he was a damn vampire hunter

in real life you know why didn't he stop himself

from getting shot horrible to say but true I

know I know I don't know so this has been a MWIRE

rant holy testicle Tuesday Where is the beast?