Police Academy: Mission to Moscow Review

Sentinel online now loading the geek cast radio

network of podcasts You're listening to the geek

cast radio network of podcasts of opposition,

the two largest world powers have finally begun

working together. But now, just when we thought

the Cold War was over, leave it to these guys

to heat it up again. Those fearless spies from

the force are together again. On a mission of

peace and understanding. Because the academy's

finest will stop at nothing. When it comes to

fighting crime. They're not sitting down on the

job. They're not being taken for a ride. And

when it's time to use force, excess is best.

They're about to show Russia just how ugly Americans

can get. The Cold War may be over, but give them

time. They just got here. Police Academy, mission

to Moscow. We're in deep worst. Hello. And welcome

to the 57th episode of the M -Wire. Today we'll

be finishing up the DVD spotlight on the Police

Academy films. Yay! I am T .O .G. and Mike and

as usual I'm joined by Steve Megatron. Hello.

Yo. How are you? Little tired but not as bad

as the last few days. Yeah. I'm a little frustrated

actually. I don't know what else to do, really.

I'm getting tired of this. The network has been

online for a year. Well, now it's a little over

a year. I will say that there are some episodes

that the leveling could be a little bit better,

but for the most part, the leveling seems to

be fine for me. I keep my speakers at 32%. I

don't... It's not like I blare them at 80 % or

100 % or anything like that. But I don't know

where people are getting, you know, the volume

difficulties between my voice and everyone else's

voice that I record with. And unless people want

to donate to GeekCastRadio .com, head over to

GeekCastRadio .com to donate. For us to get a

mixing board, we don't, I mean, outside of whatever

you use for editing. Don't have any volume leveling

control whatsoever Yeah, I I kind of edit some

of that but to another side of it is it also

depends on The audio levels of whomever happens

to be in the episode and even if they are equal

I think that for some reason that Pamela call

recorder. Yeah It cuts everybody else, but the

host short in volume. I don't know why that is.

I don't know why that is either. I know the free

one that I used doesn't do that, but at the same

time it's very unpredictable. Yeah. So it's kind

of a, you know, damned if you do, damned if you

don't situation. I may look into a new version

of Pamela and see how much better it is, but

that new version is going to cost somewhere around

$26, $27. after tax and all that crap I might

ask a buddy of mine that also uses it as well

and see what he says as far as that goes and

you know maybe I can figure out what this issue

is but you know honestly guys I don't even know

anybody even listens to a movie we can review

at all I mean we've gotten pretty almost no feedback

on this podcast whatsoever And I'm not, you know,

trying to take away from the people that do leave

feedback for Tooncast and Toycast and all that

stuff. That's awesome, but it's like we've been

doing this show just for ourselves for the past

57 weeks or however long it's been. I'm not really

sure how many people are actually listening to

Amwire, so... But yeah, I don't know. I'm gonna

have to look into it, but... my finances are

so... with me having to pay rent now and just

being able to survive each month my finances

are so tight it's not even funny and yeah i've

been getting you know a couple of toys here and

there this month and everything else but you

know that was because i had everything else paid

off um... and i was trying to get toycast up

and running again so uh... you know i don't know

what to do Honestly, I don't know what to do.

I mean, I don't know if people are listening

at, like I said, higher volumes, because part

of the comment that was on the website under

Toycast 66, and I listened to that episode. I

don't know. But anyway. So yeah, we are here

to finish out a Police Academy film series with

Police Academy Mission to Moscow. And we'll also

be talking about the TV series and the future

of the franchise, eventually. Did you ever see

this one? The seventh film? Yeah. Yeah, I watched

it once, and then I've kind of refreshed my mind

on YouTube. Uh -huh. Wasn't there something you

had to retract or something or other about last

week? Yes, the movie Six, I'd have to say, is

not good as Or is just as bad as seven Seven

I forgot about these key points Removes Probably

60 70 percent of the main cast mm -hmm So you

have literally like five or six of the original

cast and then everybody else is new They literally

take out all elements of it. Yeah Mm -hmm. That's

not good Yeah, that's not good at all So getting

right into the plot here Russian mafia boss Constantine

Canale Is laundering money under the guise of

legitimate business The business is a highly

addictive video game that allows him to bring

down almost any security system controlled by

a computer on which the game has been played,

with a string of major robberies as the result.

sends for help from America, Rakhov decides to

bring someone he met at police convention, Commandant

Eric Lassard, played by George Gaines. Lassard

briefs his team about the mission in Russia and

they head to Moscow. Along with Lassard in Moscow

are Sergeant Larville Jones, Sergeant Eugene

Tackleberry, Captain Debbie Callahan, Cadet Kyle

Connors, and Captain Thaddeus Harris. As they

plan to nail Kanale, he has cooked up a new scheme,

creating an even more addictive form of game,

a version that can bring down absolutely any

computer security system in the world, including

systems that protect databases that belong to

world powers. Okay, so it's pretty much Die Hard

4. So, pretty much, we only have got four of

the original characters returning. Yeah, that's

not good. With, well, my bad, five. Yeah. And

then we've got Cadet Connors, which technically

wasn't actually going, you know, according to

their little manifest that they were going to

have go on the mission. He hacked the computer

system and changed the name from the original

guy that was actually qualified to go on the

mission to himself. Oh. And then Lissard having

happened to print this while it was changed.

Well, there is two good things about the new

cast. There aren't many of them? Well, there's

two good things about the new cast. Ron Perlman

and Greg Berger. That is true. And of course,

Greg Berger plays Lieutenant Talinsky and Perlman

plays the bad guy Russian dude. Yeah, I didn't

quite care for like this film in general Well,

I mean to start it off this was the only one

of the film series that didn't make even a million

dollars It made a hundred and twenty six thousand

dollars in the u .s. Making at least successful

movie in the series Wow And I guess the the critic

Leonard Maltin said if the United States and

Soviet Union were still at odds This film would

make a great weapon. It would bore people to

death Yeah But yeah, and it sucks because hooks

in a high tower Weren't in this at all. Mm -hmm,

which I'm sorry. You need the entire cast or

the films just kind of suck Yeah, it's It's the

dynamic of all of them Whether they play a big

part or not, you know, I mean Hightower shit

He was one of the bigger parts of the six films

that were out before this and hooks granted She

didn't have that huge of a part, but she was

in all the other ones. I mean and she she served

a purpose Yeah Yeah, you know, it's like we've

said over the last two three weeks that we've

kids and where it's kind of gone daily instead

of weekly which will be getting back to weekly

after this episode is is done but uh... all the

last couple weeks that we've been reviewing these

honestly just stop watching after film four is

five six and seven five might have been all right

maybe have five i'll give it one through five

Just just for the sake of it because five was

pretty good. I mean other than it not having

Mahoney Yeah, it was the last One in the serious

to actually have a point Yeah This one why the

hell would they send a police academy on a mission

to Moscow? to investigate a Russian crime lord

Yeah, that makes makes no sense and then a video

game with Hidden you know elements in it that

caused people to get addicted I mean even they're

the people that they had on the news broadcasts

on the show like this old man He's sitting there

playing it shoot even the the guys from the Russian

police squad are Playing the game and then the

kid kid that the cadets Connor Connors yes, he

goes over and he helps that that cop get to the

next level so he didn't die and then they start

their their briefing on Canali This is It just

it was retarded and then they're they called

the the video game the game Mm -hmm like that

was the name of the game the game and then Canali

in this one wants to make an even more addictive

game called the new game Mm -hmm, and then it

was just it was so stupid. I mean the only funny

parts in this film were Between Harrison Jones,

I mean Lesard spent 90 % of the film Because

when they were at their briefing originally he

got into the wrong car They told him to get into

this one particular car ended up riding with

a funeral Was with them the rest of the damn

movie pretty much They they went to go I Mean

he went with some Russian group and they were

at a funeral and he's you know just talking like

people actually can understand him and care and

The other ones are actually doing their job Harris

of course is getting made fun of along the way

because they have a Russian equivalent to Harris,

which is a douchebag and So it makes you like

Harris even more and then There's various scenes

in this movie that Are kind of retarded but funny

and they have a scene where larval is getting

shot at With a gun and he's on a bicycle on one

wheel and then they hit the uh... front spoke

and then uh... it makes that ting sound like

on the old uh... looney tunes and then it turns

and goes the other direction and then they shoot

it and it goes ting and then he goes back the

other direction oh so it's like the back and

forth cowboy gag in the bar yeah so that was

pretty funny but i mean a lot of this film was

pointless and repetitive it was just you could

tell that they were on their last legs with this

film yes you could just tell yeah um and and

and for one it was done by uh a woman that had

never directed a feature film before it was her

feature film debut yikes it was not like and

i'm not blaming her totally because i mean it

is a lot of the time the writing yeah but These

guys had nothing to do with the series like this

this whole film was based on characters created

by the original guys So I mean this whole film

was kind of a slap in the face to the rest of

the police academy Like you could even get away

with saying the sixth one belonged with the series

despite the fact it was horrible Yeah Because

it was all in the same setting it was all the

same cast They hit this mission to Moscow thing

and it just tanked I mean with this film you

can kind of tell who if they were to bring back

this film series for an eighth one You could

tell who would probably come back Like I think

personally like I mean other than graph because

he's unfortunately passed away. Yeah Michael

Winslow, you know would come back He's been in

every element of the police Academy series. I

believe Leslie Easter book would probably show

up again Yeah, probably a GW Bailey would probably

show up I Would I would like to see I Think I

would like to see an eighth film over a reboot

because They could actually go back to the element

that was among the first and fourth film And

get as many of the original cast back as they

could It depends it off, right? Right, and I

agree with that, but it depends on... See, for

me, there's two types of way they can do this.

They can go the route of saying Police Academy

8 or Police Academy however they want to title

it, and it be a continuation. Say they ignore

the continuity of the first... Say they ignore

the continuity of the last three films five six

and seven and say they you know have Gutenberg

come back and Maybe it's a police academy of

today, and it's set in today's You know like

right now time Yeah, you know police academy

of the future. You know something that's not

what the original films were, but it's still

the same people You know or they could do a complete

reboot Bring up all of the old cast that are

still with us and have them as like their mentors

or something Yeah, kind of like they're doing

with Ghostbusters 3. Yeah Because I would be

all right with that But they would still need

to have some kind of image and some kind of thing

with the original cast They would have to find

Yeah, they would have to find some sort of If

you're gonna, like, I never got the appeal of

Tackleberry. I liked him despite the fact he

was a weird character. I just, and again, out

of the whole time that we've been reviewing these,

I haven't had a chance to really refresh my memory

from the films. I mean, as we've talked about,

like, three and four and five, I kind of remember

them. Really the only one that I've watched the

entire time that we've been doing these seven

episodes is the first film and in the first film

I just I didn't really get him. I didn't really

Understand his I mean, I know he's mr. Gunn happy

and must shoot everything and all that stuff

But there's only so many times you can do that

character over seven films or eight films or

whatever But my point is I would like if they

find like old stock footage or something some

way to homage him since he is no longer with

us Like say he went out in a blaze of glory or

something trying to defend the city or something

like that. I don't know But yeah, I'm not really

too sure how how this potential reboot is or

potential remake or potential new film Is gonna

work has Gutenberg said and I haven't really

read the news I've read the news articles, but

I haven't really kept up with it has Gutenberg

even said he would come back He never did say

one way or the other I think I think that It

would be better if he did yeah, because I mean

they've already lost one of the original cast

And I think, I'm pretty sure that pretty much

everybody else that was in this film, Jones,

Callahan, Lassard, Harris, I'm pretty sure they'd

all come back for another film. And Gutenberg,

I think he wanted to direct an eighth film, but

there were too many hangups on the writing and

gathering of the original cast because he wanted

to do basically, a return to the first film.

He wanted everybody from the first film and then

continue on from where basically this piece of

shit left off. But it would be back in their

own element, their own home and that kind of

stuff. And there were talks of them having David

Spade as one of the cops and some other people

like that. Which, I mean, granted, I could see

probably David Spade being in this again, in

this saga again. Yeah, I don't know, because

when did he appear in it? Was it three or four?

It was... four. Because it was the last one with

Mahoney and the first one with Harris coming

back. Right. And that was... four was released

in what, 87? 88? Uh, something around that. I'd

have to go back and look at the script. I think

it was 88. Oh, okay. Because I think 89, the

other film, the... Or no, it might have been

87 because there was 88 and 89 that they had

the fifth and sixth films and then there was

a gap until 94 for the seventh film. Right, right.

So I mean, and yes, we've kind of transitioned

from the seventh film into, you know, revivals.

Seventh film, don't ever watch it. Just leave

it at that. As for, you know, the eighth, I would

say Would rather see them do this over a reboot

because let's face it Who are you gonna get that

is going to be basically a giant to play? Hi

tower I mean they could pretty much throw about

anybody into hooks. I mean It wouldn't be that

big of a stretch high tower would be the difficult

one to cast Harris would be a difficult one to

cast Lassard Shoot, get Leslie Nielsen to fill

in for that. No. I mean, as bad as he is, I mean,

you can have, he would be a pretty close pass

-off. They have the pretty much same acting style.

The problem with that theory of replacing George

Gaines with Nielsen, Nielsen is too over the

top. I mean, just - Oh, I know that. Whereas,

uh, Gaines is kind of just like nonchalant, like

- Oh, it's supposed to be like this, you know,

just... Yeah. I would not want Leslie Nielsen

anywhere near this franchise. Well, I would before

putting some other person in the spot because

I don't think anybody else could do it. Count

one hand, you'd have to get somebody, you know...

Kind of similar. Tackleberry, you'd have to get

some goofy guy like that. Laravel Jones, there's

no way in hell they could replace. There's no

way you can replace Michael Winslow. There we

go. Yeah, we'll put Michael Wilson in there.

Yeah, really? Michael Wilson can be Tackleberry

or Tackleberry's version seeing as how he plays

all kinds of blow -em -up video games. True.

But I mean, like, you couldn't replace Winslow.

I mean, they already replaced Mahoney, basically.

With, uh, the other, uh, Captain Lussard. Yeah.

And, it was just, I don't know, it would be a

difficult recast for a reboot. I mean, they'd

have to basically just completely redo it, which

would be a completely different film series.

So there's really no good way of bringing it

back other than to do an eighth film and just

end it Yeah, I mean this after all the last like

decade Other than the the new films pretty much

superhero films are just new elements into it

Everybody's been going back to Stuff from the

early from the 80s and early 90s Yeah, we are

so gonna have a remakes suck episode of geek

cast radio. We're gonna have to get Get going

on some of that episodes, but but yeah, I agree.

It's just it's one of those things where And

I'm not necessarily sure they should redo it

or come back to the series because there's no

telling what it would do but with I mean is Indiana

Jones for They could have done without just because

I mean, I'm not a big fan of a buff, but he The

film, I haven't seen it, don't really care too

honestly, but it, I heard it did well enough.

And then there's Die Hard 4, which did good.

And I mean, there's becoming more, I mean, they've

been talking about more sequels, like Ghostbusters

3, Men in Black 3, which hopefully, if they were

using Riptorn, they got them before you got...

in trouble with the law. You know, it's stuff

like that. I mean, they're making comebacks to

the old series and then making an additional

film just to continue them. And for the most

part, they're all ending them, other than like

Indy and Die Hard, which I think they're gonna

go to a fifth film and then cut it off. But you

know there's some other series that I wish that

they would come back to like Beverly Hills Cop

and some other ones, but besides the point Police

Academy 8 would be in their better interest Even

though now that's kind of dropped since March

and now they've been talking about a reboot Yeah

Again a lot of these thoughts that I'm having

are more for a geek cast radio episode versus

this this episode so police academy got an animated

series yes the elements there is a lot of times

so i think i remember seeing one or two episodes

just from the information i've gathered from

wikipedia animated series sucks ass yeah i i

would have to say so and so that uh... and and

it's characters in this show. It's not even about

the weird characters, I'm gonna read a little

synopsis here really quick. The animated series

takes place chronologically between the fourth

and fifth film of the series of films. Twelve

characters are recreated for this animated version,

including a team of Academy graduates led by

Cary Mahoney, a like little rogue bachelor boy

who unconsciously and consistently does his best

to make life miserable for Captain Harris and

his... Uncle Head Assistant Sergeant Proctor.

Mahoney's friends include the aptly named Moises

Hightower, Walking Sound Effects Machine Larville

Jones, Trigger Happy Eugene Tagelberry, Sweet

and Timid Laverne Hooks, Tough as Nails Debbie

Callahan, Larger Than Life House and bread -and

-butter duo of reformed gang members Zed and

his best buddy Sweetchuk. Eric Lassard is the

highly respected, albeit dreamy, commandant and

academy newcomer. The Professor is also on hand

to the cadets' new friends. The K -9 Corps, a

group of cop dogs then stalking our crime -fighting

heroes with endless supply of wacky gadgets as

they combat motley crew of Kingpin and other

recurring villains. such as Numbskull the Claw,

Mr. Sleaze, Lockjaw, and Amazonia. Okay, just

by going off of that, evidently they've ripped

off Dr. Claw, Oddjob, or... Who else could be

equivalent to Lockjaw? Oddjob... Damn it. I don't

know an Amazonia could be a Wonder Woman ripoff

the biggest problem I have with this series and

I I haven't ever I haven't seen it in a very

long time Is the voice cast? The voice cast in

this is just Why would you make an animated series

off the films and not use the film actors unless

you couldn't get them? Then don't make the damn

series you have Ron Rubin never heard of that

guy as Carrie Mahoney Dan Hennessey, I think

I've heard of him, but he plays he plays Zed

and Eugene Tackleberry uh... howard morris as

carl sweet chuck and the professor never heard

of howard uh... greg morton never heard of him

as larval jones and moys is high tower how the

fuck can you have a cartoon with larval jones

and and not get michael winslow to voice his

own fucking character it makes no damn sense

to me whatsoever frank mocker's additional voices

well yeah but that's that's beside the point

uh... Lynn Carlson as Captain Thaddeus Harris.

Don Franks as Thomas House Conklin and Proctor.

Yeah, I don't know. That's another thing I gotta

say. They didn't have Proctor in the seventh

film either. Oh yeah, wow. That's not good either.

Really quick, there's some VHSs of this thing

floating around. I don't think... I don't think

there was... Yeah, there was no DVDs of this

yet. And then there was action figures. Do you

have any Police Academy action figures? No, but

now I'm going to look for some. Oh, Christ. Look

out eBay. I'd probably get a Mahoney, a Larvel

Jones, and a Harris figure. I mean the shit right

there. You need to make sure that they have the

likeness of the film characters. Oh yeah, I wouldn't

get them otherwise. They would be no point. If

they don't look like their character... Let me

just go through this really quick. Series 1 in

1988 you had Carrie Mahoney and Samson Dogg,

Claw with Mouse or Cat, See again, Dr. Claw and

Mad Cat. What the fuck? Um... Eugene Tackleberry

with armed flak vest. Well, duh. Uh, Larvel Jones

and Bullhorn. Oh, wow. If that has Michael Winslow's

likeness, I want one of those. Oh, man. It'll

be so out of place in my toy collection, much

like Justice League Lobo is, but whatever. Moises

Hightower and Meter Reader Scooter. Oh, good

lord. That doesn't sound too good. Mr. Sleeves

with Photodog, Numb Skull with Smashing Helmets,

and Zed and Police Skateboard. Series 2 you had

Captain Harris, was a mail -away all. Damn, that

sucks. Swat, Eugene Tackleberry, with Fizzooka.

uh... fling high with crazy karate, flung high

with crazy karate gear kingpin with thief trap

safe uh... karate larville jones oh boy i wonder

what that one looks like holy crap and then uh...

In 1989 they had a special assignment rookies

Line undercover Carrie Mahoney smack attack house

with hoagie blaster Stakeout sweet Chuck was

a mail away skyglide and said with hang glider.

Oh good lord And then also in 88 there was vehicles

and play sets crash cruiser cycle crash with

figure precinct police station and copper corner

released through jasco uh... that's kinda interesting

i'd like to see some of those laurel jones figures

though that would be really cool buddy go ahead

from what from what i'm seeing uh... thus far

of the figures no you don't okay you don't you

don't even want them They appear like they're

they're animated selves. Oh, no They're they're

on none like the films, which I think that would

be something cool to see them come back with

I mean, you know considering they're going back

and doing like You know Ghostbusters and back

to the future and all that kind of stuff I would

like to see them go back and do some of those

Yeah, like maybe from the first film and then

just leave it at that Mm -hmm Yes Um, so, on

that note, I think we're gonna end this. Oh,

there was a TV show. Oh yeah, there was, but

do we really... It was short -lived, and it had

the only character from the Police Academy films

was Larville Jones, you know, Michael Winslow.

That was the only returning character for the

films to the TV show. Yeah, I... All the clips

for this are now lost, you know, as far as, like,

internet goes and whatnot. Yeah. The, uh, I will

say this, the Police Academy figures, like, the

logo looks the same, and then they tried to have

the little ant look, uh, of how they did on the

cases of the videos, but the figures look like

utter ass. Okay. Like... They look nothing like,

they look like some cheap figure you'd buy at

big lots. And their base is basically, the precinct

is basically a half built bat cave from the early

90's. Lovely. Yes. So basically we're gonna run

screaming away from the police academy toys.

Yes, if they were actually accurate, I might

actually consider it since they look nothing

like their actual movie characters There's no

way in hell I'd pay upwards of I mean they go

from two to like 50 bucks for some of the figures

and are you serious? I swear to God and so the

the base It's $200. I'm here and it's why would

you such shit quality? I would never pay for

these there's wouldn't have bought them back

in the day I got I got an idea now but it was

too busy collecting Masters of the universe Ninja

Turtles and Batman figures back in the day to

worry about crap that has no detail yeah I got

an idea for a topic discussion for toy cast so

that's that that's it's a good thing we talked

about these toys because also I wouldn't have

that idea but anyways I think we're gonna end

this journey down the rat hole of holy hell.

Thank you for joining us here on MWIRE, a movie

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paparazzi. For now, I am TFG1Mike with Steve

Megatron Phillips. in the voice or in in the

the quote from GW Bailey Don't ever touch my

balls without asking permission first Thank you

for listening until next time I could have so

done without that What did he say well he said

that you had a marvelous attitude I'm going to

keep my eye on you. Konstantin Konali, Russian

mafia godfather. His brother and second in command,

Mikhail Konali. constantin conari is involved

in extortion gambling fencing jewelry arms dealing

but he does not choose to involve himself this

one's for you kid now check this Bartender? Margarita,

please. There, I said it. Happy?