The Columbo Files – S3 E5 – Publish or Perish!

Hey, hey, hey, it's Chaos Queen here, and you're

listening to the Geekcast Radio Network. Hey,

it's Mistress Carrie, and you are listening to

Studio 2009. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Studio

2009, episode 175. I am TFG1 Mike from the Geekcast

Radio Network, and I am recording this pre -intro

intro, or preamble of an intro, or whatever you're

going to call this, but this is a... I don't

know what the hell it's called, folks. It's the

pre -show before the pre -show. I'll insert that

joke here so you guys know what I'm talking about.

Pre -show? What was the pre -show? So everything

you saw before that was pre -the show? Which

makes a pre -show! Anyway, this is the 175th

episode of Studio 2009. We have 25 episodes to

the 200th episode. This is an episode of the

Columbo Files. I have no idea which episode this

is as I'm recording this before I edit the 175th

episode, but I wanted to record this preamble

to let you know, folks, and I'm sure you do know

by now. From episode 175 to episode 200, some

of the episodes between 175 and 200 are recorded

out of order. Some of them were recorded in 2025.

Some of them might have clips like this in them

telling you that. But I'm telling you now, if

there is no clip in front of any episode that

was recorded in 2025, All of the Columbophile

episodes from here on, from episode 175 to 178,

all of that was recorded last year. So that's

all recorded in 2025. Episode 179 was recorded

in 2025. Episode 183 or 184 or 185, I forget.

We had a bunch of stuff that I recorded last

year. And you guys, I think if you're listening

to the podcast, you should know why that is.

I had ulnar nerve surgery on my left arm. If

you've been listening to the podcast for the

last five years since we launched it June 2nd

of 2020, if you've been listening to the Geekcast

Radio Network at all in the last almost 17 years

of the podcast network, you'll know that I, TFG1

Mike, was born with cerebral palsy on my right

side. So my left arm is the only arm I have to

use in life. Well, I had to have ulnar nerve

surgery done on my left arm, so I couldn't use

either one of my arms last year. Yay! Isn't that

fun? And I've always been honest and open with

the audience. I'm not one of those people that

sugarcoats things on podcasts. I'm perfectly

fine with... Talking real life with you guys.

So anyway. The Columbo Files. Episode 175. 25

to 200. Let's go. Enjoy the episode folks. And

thank you for listening as always. Also. Really

quick. Before I forget. Before I have to re -record

this whole damn thing. 25 episodes in 25 days.

Do you guys want that? I like doing this as a

daily show. It doesn't always happen daily, but

when I can get up the energy to record, edit,

and publish a podcast on a daily basis, like

we currently have enough content, we will have

enough content where I can edit and publish the

25 episodes for 25 days. So do you guys want...

25 days of Studio 2009. Let me know. Email feedback

at geekcastradio .com. Put in the subject line,

Studio 2009, 25 days of Studio 2009. That's what

you should put. 25 days of Studio 2009 in the

subject line. Let me know. Let me know immediately.

Hell, tweet at me on Twitter, at TF2 and Mike,

or at Geekcast Radio. Let me know. Because I

like doing it daily. I know podcasting has never

been radio. It never has been. It never will

be. I don't want podcasting to be radio. But

I fucking like it. I really do. I like having

the whole magilla of saying... I like this accomplishment

after... Almost 18 years, like this December,

18 years, December 12th of 2026 will be my 18th

year of podcasting. And I like that I've reached

the point of having so much content because unfortunately

I couldn't publish content last year. But I like

having the point of, oh my God, I can publish

a daily show for 25 days. work my ass off and

get it all edited and get it scheduled, that

would be amazing. But let me know if that's something

that you guys want. I'm probably going to give

it to you anyway, but if I can, as long as I

can. Anyway, like I said, Columbo Files. I believe

this is, well, this is season three, episode

five of the Columbo Files. Thanks for listening

as always, folks. Please enjoy the podcast and

I will see you soon. We found this key on the

office floor, a few feet from Mr. Mallory's body.

Well, evidently it belongs to him. No, sir. We

checked the victim's key ring. The one that fit

the outer door was on his person. This key. Your

key. This is the fellow that bothers me. I've

already told you. I don't know anything about

it. What bothers you about it, Lieutenant? How

it got there? Could have been dropped days before.

Do you own a .38 Smith & Wesson revolver? Not

just a minute. David, I have nothing to hide.

Yes, I do own a pistol, but I don't know what

make it is. There is nothing wrong with your

podcast, player. Do not attempt to adjust the

volume. Hello and welcome back into our studio.

You are now inside Studio 2009, only on the GeekCast

Radio Network. I'm, of course, Steve Chu and

Mike. And once again is that good old detective,

Dave Draper. Hi, Dave. How are you? I'm okay.

How are you? I'm falling apart, but what else?

Well, yeah, I think, yeah, I'm falling apart,

too. I'm just used to it by this point. Yeah,

well, I'm not used to the fact that it seems

like the whole right side of my body is falling,

literally, from my shoulder to my right foot,

which is the entirety of the cerebral palsy part

of my body. It seems like it's revolting against

me completely. Like, I haven't had a non -pain

day in my shoulder in, like, a month and a half.

I mean, okay. No painkillers are helping. Yeah,

because it's the nerves. Yeah. Painkillers won't

help you with nerves. Oh, well. I made the mistake

of going to sleep last Thursday, and I pinched

a nerve. I put my neck out of joint, and I haven't

been in pain for the last week. And I can't sleep.

I can't sleep, and I can't drive. And people

are like, well, can you play your video games?

I'm like, yes, because I slouch. Apparently,

I can't hold myself very properly, and I can't

relax. But I can do that slouchy middle thing

with relative discomfort. Yep, yep, yep. Yeah,

I get it. And people are like, what did you do?

I said, I went to sleep. Yeah, it's crazy. It's

crazy, folks. This is what we old people go through.

I remember when we were younger and comedians

would always be like, man, you get to a certain

age and you can just hurt yourself sleeping wrong.

Well, apparently they were right. No, yeah. We

did not listen. No. But unfortunately. Today

we continue on in our journey as we put our trench

coats on and jump back in time with Columbo.

These are the Columbo files here inside Studio

2009. We're starting at the beginning and obviously

going all the way in order. Also, which apparently

is the main source of contention now, because

Dave found out how I watch Tubi versus how everyone

else apparently watches Tubi. But Tubi is the

main source to watch Columbo. At least for me

anyway. Yes, yes. It was annoying. And the weird

thing is they wouldn't quite... Because you don't

know. You walked on your computer and you have

blockers. I don't know if we're allowed to say

that legally. That's fine. You can cut it if

I've gotten you in trouble. I'm watching it on

my PS4. Because your DVD did not have the right

episode. My disc two of the DVD was disc one.

And I wonder if that was a situation where I'm

not sure. I don't remember where I got those

from. I could have gotten them from Disc Replay,

which is a place that went out of business. You'd

bring in your old DVDs and sell them and then

they'd sell them to other people. It could have

been that I got them from there or one of those

kind of places and just like they loaded it wrong

or screwed it up. Oh, yeah. So my disc two is

disc one. So it's got Lovely But Lethal and Any

Port In A Storm, the ones we already covered.

Oh, crap. I went to Tubi. And what's really irritating

is, like, those commercials do not fall on the

– because, I mean, the show was originally designed

for TV, network TV. Right. Commercials. Yep.

So there are natural beats where you would cut

to commercial. Yep. No. Not on Tubi. Not on any

service. I don't want to just single Tubi out.

It's not them. It's every single service that

has ad tiers or that has ad placement. They do

not. Whoever is running Tubi, whoever is running

Peacock, whoever is running Pluto TV, they did

not sync it up properly. Any show. It doesn't

matter what show it is. It could be Columbo.

It could be. Real Housewives of whichever. It

could be whatever show. It could be Knight Rider.

It could be 18th Beowulf, Magnum. It could be

something from the 90s. It could be something

from the 50s. It doesn't matter. They do not

sync those up properly, which sucks. Which is

why I like ad blockers. Okay, this all happened

last night. So no one had time to put anything

really into... It's just four episodes. Hopefully...

And it turns out Season 3 is pretty cheap on

Amazon. And I checked the reviews. I was like,

is anyone in the reviews saying, hey, whoever

produced these DVDs screwed up? Nobody said that.

That's why I'm like, did I get them from Disc

Replay? Could it just have been someone else

got a set that's got two Disc 2s? It's $12. I'll

get another proper comic. proper set yep absolutely

folks and so this is this one was like the publisher

was interesting publisher parish was interesting

but i was about to do my normal introduction

of so today is season blah blah blah blah and

my first thought was so today is season one episode

one murder by the book because essentially publisher

parish is murder by the book it is jack cassidy

But this time he's the publisher, not the author.

Yes, he is the publisher this time, not the author.

I had the same kind of... I mean, keep in mind,

I watched these back in the 90s. Back in the

90s, I was like, hey, how come he keeps doing

book -related guys? Although his third one is

not book -related. His third appearance is not

book -related. I'm glad for that, because at

the end of this, I was like... So it's the further

adventures of the twin brother. As I say, twin

brother. Yeah, essentially. Because, and you're

right. It's not the first time Columbo's done

that. That's true. Actually, this one was, to

jump ahead a little, I was surprised because

we had mentioned in an earlier episode that they

mentioned an earlier episode. Remember that we,

because it's the one that you don't like, Candidate

for Crime. And then in the next one they mentioned

that he'd been up late dealing with that case.

Remember that? Yep. And in this one, he literally

lays out, I was on the case where a senator faked

his own death and did this thing. I'm like, dang,

they cannot move off this dime. That was weird.

These two episodes, so again, folks, we say this

every episode that we do these, because we, I

don't know who's listening to these, but... This

is episode 175 of the podcast. We're recording

this in March. You're probably going to hear

it sometime in July, August of this year in 2025.

So we usually record them back to back. So we

obviously watch them back to back. One, we get

the my wife counter of Betty Davis at 2 a .m.

Columbo hasn't slept in two days kind of thing

because my wife, she was up watching this thing.

I haven't had sleep in a day and a half or two

days. And honestly, that's kind of normal for

not normal, but it's kind of like every time

I see police detectives and like true crime shows,

there are a lot of police detectives and a lot

of police personnel that, that work on murders

and other things that don't get a lot of sleep.

No. Yeah. So, but, and then the next one, the

next episode is proof. Of what I said earlier.

I haven't gone back as of this recording. I haven't

edited the episode where he specifically mentioned

his child in the other episode. But I wrote it

down because I specifically heard it this time.

He says family. I don't think he says child.

He says family. He says my wife and kids is what

he says. Does he? Okay. I remember he said family.

The family is attached to the dog. Yep, yep,

yep. Well, yeah, because it starts out, it's

like, okay, we'll talk about that episode when

we get to that episode. Yeah, yeah. They do another

fake out with the dog. Yep, yep. Well, that's

all the dog's good for, apparently. I mean, the

dog is good. He solved that one crime. Yeah,

he solved that one crime. Almost falling into

a meat grinder. Yeah, exactly. Like, almost.

Okay, somebody's clearly never owned a basset

hound before. Although I will say as a former

owner of a basset hound, every dog I've had,

or not every dog, but several dogs I've had as

an adult, everything you learn about them as

a child are lies. Like basset hounds are lazy

and they don't do anything and they just lay

there and drool and they're not very active.

This dog ran my freaking arm off. This dog was

active as hell. Your sitters are stupid. No.

Yeah, what do you expect? That dog had a lightsaber.

That was the one thing she didn't have. Well,

she went to town on that Ewok, though. That was

a gift from her uncle. And you had do's and don'ts

around here at Studio 2009, folks. Wow. I was

not expecting that to come out of this episode.

Particularly since the dog is even in this episode.

Yeah, I know, right? The dog's in the next episode.

Yeah, this one just... So as the episode progressed,

I was fine. By the time we got to the end of

it, I was like, Greenleaf is just, like you said,

he's the publisher version of Franklin. No, because

he's... He's not Franklin. He is... It's weird.

Like I said, this is an interesting episode.

I think Columbo... Kind of gives off a different

vibe in this episode than he does usually. He

felt very un -Columbo -y, except in the scene

at the restaurant when he was eating the chili.

Not safe, Lieutenant. I borrow a pencil. Got

it. Thank you. Thank you. Six dollars, excuse

me. No, I think there's a mistake. I had the

chili and the iced tea. Oh. 675. I forgot to

add the iced tea. It was the most Columbo moment

of the show. He's much more serious. He's much

more focused. And Greenleaf basically begged.

He was playing a game. He was stupid. This whole

thing was, I'm going to set myself up and then

I'll have this perfect alibi. And it was like,

like, that's how he, that's how they got him.

Cause he kept trying to work on this whole elaborate

scheme that sort of pointed the fingers at him,

but he had this alibi and it was just like, it's

like every step he took made it worse. If he

just left it alone, you know, cause the guy's

like, cause the whole thing is Mickey Splane

is a successful novelist in both real life on

the, you know, stunt casting. Uh, It was also

interesting because I think this is the first

mention of the Vietnam War. Yes. Which was a

huge... This is back in 74. So that's like...

I think that's around when the time of the war

actually ended. So that was a huge thing. And

he's writing this... The whole thing is Greenleaf

is his publisher and he wants to like... His

contract is up and he's been working on a book

and if Greenleaf knows the book exists then Greenleaf

has the rights to it. He's been keeping it under

wraps but Greenleaf found out that the book...

that the book is being written. And he stages

his whole elaborate thing with this other guy

who's like a nut job, who loves explosives. He

hires that guy to kill Mickey Spillane. And he

says he's going to, because that guy's written

a book, too, about how to blow stuff up, like

the Anarchist Bible, Anarchist Cookbook. So the

other guy, like, you know, first of all, doesn't

know how to hold a gun. Nope. Like, that was

weird. That was very weird. The whole thing is

he's given a key to Mickey Spillane's office,

but the door's open and the window's open because

it's hot. And he walks in and he kills him. And

Mickey Spillane is recording, dictaphone -ing

part of the novel. Do you hear the murder on

tape? And then he leaves the key behind. The

whole thing is Mickey Spillane had the locks

changed. The key actually doesn't work, and that

becomes a pebble in Columbo's shoe. And this

was the rare – because I always kind of mention

when there are double murders. And this was the

rare intentional double murder because usually

the second murder is kind of like, oh, this guy

suddenly become inconvenient. I got to take him

out. So he sets up the guy to, like, blow him

up because he's a bomb nut. But he also does

a thing where he, like, gets a corrected key.

Yep. Which is weird because he's told – the bomb

guy tells him that the door was unlocked. It

was open. Like leave it alone. Exactly. Yeah.

It's just, it's, it's just crazy how this one

went. And again, it's not exactly, I know I've

said, and I will, my final note is it felt a

little bit repeat -ish. That's, it was just my

final note. Oh, it's only because of it's Jack

Cassidy. It's publishing, it's writing, it's

this, it's that, even though the roles reverse,

whatever else. But really, it's very different

from Murder by the Book, obviously. And it's

one of those things where, besides the chili

scene, the only other scene I felt that Columbo

was really himself. is when he was shushing the

other sergeant or lieutenant or whatever other

plainclothes cop when he was trying to hear the

tape recorder because he was trying to hear the

the flaps or the whatever on the window because

they were trying to figure out why the why the

window was open why the door was open it's southern

california you want the cross breeze blah blah

blah you know yeah the rest of this was It was

good. I liked it. I didn't dislike it. I liked

the bit at the beginning. You've got Jack Cassidy,

you've got Bomb Guy, and you've got Mickey Splane.

And they would have separate windows showing

each one at the exact moment that they were doing

stuff. That was kind of interesting. That was

something we hadn't seen before. Yeah, that was

very cool. Did you think it was weird? Cassidy's

car... The cars looked weird to me. Cassidy's

car did not look like the car of a rich guy.

And then he backs into like this beat up old

VW van. Yeah. And they're like this couple out

of a Marx Brothers movie that would get hit by

pies. She's wearing furs and he's got a suit

on. And it's like, why are you guys driving around

in a hippie van? Yeah. Like that whole scene,

he was making fun of both of them. He was talking

that like he acted like he. Yeah, well, obviously

he's drunk. He might have actually been drunk.

Yeah, I think he was. I think that was the thing.

That's why he ran into them. It wasn't that,

like, he didn't intentionally do it. Oh, no,

he ran into them to establish the alibi. Oh,

I didn't realize. Yeah, he kept checking his

watch. Oh, that's. The whole thing is he had

the alibi. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was

one of the things that he screwed up, because

his alibi was exactly at the same time. At the

same time as the, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah,

yeah. Yeah, which was a wee bit convenient. Yeah,

very convenient. Yep, yep. Yeah, this one was

just... It did feel weird. It felt weird. And

again, if it had been anyone else other than

Cassidy, it might have felt better. You could

still have the same other actors and actresses.

Just somebody else in the Riley Greenleaf role.

I mean, he played it perfectly. I'm not trying

to say anything about his acting. Yeah, no, absolutely.

I get what you're saying. And I think, you know...

I think maybe it doesn't, because I'm, you know,

I've been acclimated to this for since the 90s.

So for me, it's like, when I first saw it, I

was like, that was a little weird. But, you know,

I've had all these years of kind of like, okay,

these are different characters, you know. You

know, because, yeah, I can't remember the actor's

name now. He's been in three of them so far.

Oh, Carl, Robert. Culp. I mean, Culp played...

He had kind of the same vibe as several of the

characters, but they were different jobs. Yeah,

they were different jobs. I get what you're saying.

Well, again, Cassidy plays a very different character

the third time around. I can tell you that. Nothing

to do with publishing. That's good. He's a Nazi.

And a stage magician. Okay, you say that. I'm

not even making that up. He's a former Nazi.

I'm not saying I believe you. I'm not saying

I don't believe you. I'm saying the way you said

that, I'm like, huh. Evel Sinclair. Rocketeer.

That's the first thing I thought of was Timothy

Dalton in the Rocketeer. You said Nazi. Oh, boy.

Oh, God. The Rocketeer will be 35 years old next

year? Yeah, 91. Oh, man. I was at that movie.

I was 11 years old. I saw that movie in theaters.

Love that movie. I love it, too. I think it's

a great movie. I think it's a very underrated

movie. It's weird. Everyone who's seen it loved

it. It just doesn't... I don't know. It is a

great movie, though. It's a really good movie.

Johnson. Jaws is 50 this year. They're bringing

it back. I'm so excited. Yes, yes it is. I was

crippled last time they brought it back. Oh,

no! So I'm like, I'm going to see it this time,

hopefully. The big screen. It's also kind of

depressing that it's slightly younger than I

am. Why? Well, I mean, it came out in 75. You

came out in 71, so, you know. Yes, I understand

the concepts of math. Okay. Anyway, Columbo.

No, Columbo, but if I don't say this on air,

I will never, ever say this, and I will never

agree to it, so I want it recorded. Because it's

its 50th anniversary. I will watch it. Only because

I want your theatrical reaction when you go to

see it. We will do a 50th anniversary episode

for Jaws. I would love to do that. We will stop

at Jaws. We will not do the sequels. There are

no sequels. Jaws is a perfect film. It needs

no sequels. It has no sequels. Its legacy is

unspoiled by bad, bad sequels. Look, Jurassic

Park is one thing. I kind of like the second

movie. Jaws, no. You're never going to get me

to go, no, we've got to do Jaws 2. Another shark

comes back. It's the same movie. Only infinitely

worse. Jaws is a masterpiece. And I am excited.

My one asterisk is I live in Springfield, Illinois.

There's a not 0 % chance we won't get it. You

know what I'm saying? Who's bringing it back?

I don't know. I'll find out. They are. They are

them. Oh, boy. I assume Universal because they

own it. Yes, but I'm saying is it a chain thing?

Yeah, I don't know. Is it a chain thing? If it's

a Fathom Events thing, it's probably somewhere

close. We could get Fathom at our theaters. I

don't know. I haven't looked into it. They'll

figure it out. It's okay. It's in August, dude.

I can't live that long. And, you know, I keep

falling asleep and crippling myself. Oh, my God.

Stop it. It's not a guarantee. Dude, it has been

a rough week. I understand it's been a rough

week and a rough year so far. Oh, boy. All right.

We've completely gone off. Yes, we've completely

gone off the rails here. See, folks, publish

or perish. We're either going to publish this

episode or we're going to perish. Other than

the things I've already mentioned about the deja

vu -ish, a little bit of it, I still enjoyed

this episode. I enjoyed watching it. I enjoyed

seeing Jack Cassidy act a little bit more deranged.

Like, he was deranged as Ken Franklin in Season

1, Episode 1, Murder by the Book. But I think

Riley Greenleaf is slightly... A little bit more

deranged than Jack was. Than Ken was. I'm not

sure I'd use the word deranged per se, but I

get what you're going for. Like I said, his whole

dumb thing is just really arrogant and stupid.

The way Columbo gets him is he's got to make

that second key. He's got to explain why the

key was wrong. And of course, Columbo had changed

the locks again. When he gets the new key made,

it's for the new new lock. And then there's the

other thing. There's a great line. The original

end of the book is that the hero dies. The book

that Mickey Splane's writing. They were going

to turn it into a movie, and they talked... Rock

Hudson was going to play the hero. So they talked

him into changing the ending because Rock Hudson

doesn't die. You don't kill Rock Hudson. Part

of his scheme to set up the bomb guy is he's

concocted the story that the bomb guy made up

the story and that Mickey Splane stole it. To

prove it, he's got an outline for the story at

the bomb guy's house. When he kills the bomb

guy, they find the outline for the story. But

it's got the new ending that Marriott Hartley

came up with on the fly. So Columbo says to him

at the end, you don't kill Rock Hudson. So he

gets them because he's got the key for the new

lock, the new new lock, and he's got this thing

that's got an ending that was only thought out

by somebody else a week ago. Yeah. It's just

like he just – he's got this weird need to almost

like – It's almost like a serial killer thing

where he's got to leave little clues, he's got

to play a little game, he's got to make everything

point to him, and then he's got this alibi, so

he gets away with it, but it's all got to dot

all the I's and cross all the T's. Life's not

like that, man. 90 % of Columbo killers could

do much better if when Columbo goes, well, how

can you explain this? I'd be like, I don't know.

I got no idea. I'm not a cop. I don't know. I

don't know how that works. I don't know why there's

a key. Who knows? I don't know. Which again,

and I know people are probably going to be listening

to this saying, Mike, stop comparing, but I can't

help it. Which is probably what Ken would say

was, well, that's your job, Lieutenant. That's

your job to figure it out. Like this character

in Riley Greenleaf, he's a character who is an

attention whore. He wants the attention. He wants

to get rid of this author. Yeah. A lot of times

we talk about motives, and the motive is very

clear, but it's also stupid. Okay, so the whole

thing here is, as we kind of skipped over this

part, the whole point of Greenleaf wanting to

kill Mallory. I mentioned that. His contract

is up, and he's going to go to a different publisher

with his new book. Right, but the other part

of that is the insurance, the life insurance,

because he has like $100 ,000 life insurance

on the guy. I forgot about that. Yeah, so it's

the life insurance on the author's life as well

as because, as you said, he's going to go to

somebody else. Oh, life insurance cases. Oh,

boy. Reminds me of every single true crime episode

I've ever watched in the last two decades. Three,

maybe. I forget. That's his motive. He wants

the insurance money and he wants to stop him

from... I understand if you want the insurance

money, but... It's a petty thing. He has a whole

speech about how when I found him, he was...

I can't remember what he was doing, but he was

doing something... menial job, and I made him

this great author that's celebrated throughout

the country, and I'll be damned if I let anyone

else profit off of my hard work. That's why I

forgot about the life insurance thing. That almost

felt like that was tacked on. It really comes

across as, I will not let you live writing for

another publisher. You are mine. It's that kind

of thing. Like you said, the attention whore.

You're mine, you belong to me, and I will kill

you. It's like a... If I can't have you, nobody

can. Yeah, if I can't have you, nobody can. Which,

yeah, crazy. There were... Is it this one or

is it the next one? I think it's the next one.

Sometimes, folks, when we watch these back -to

-back, I get them so confused and mixed up. No,

no, no. I'm saying that's fair. I do, too. calm

down with, with some of Columbo's lines, because

he has some of these episodes. He has some really

great lines where I think it's, you can correct

me. I think it's the next one though. He's like,

I knew it was you the first 10 seconds. I met

you. Like he says that. Yeah. Yeah. There's context

to that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. Just Peter Falk,

man. There, there is not enough. descriptive

good words in the English language to describe

how well he does and how well he acts as that

character. Essentially, and we've said this every

episode for three seasons now, the character

is essentially him. Yeah, I was just about to

say, I wonder, because I don't know that much

about him. No, but I don't know that much about

him personally. Yeah, exactly. I wonder if it

is one of those things, like a Tommy Lee Jones.

You play with your strength. I'm a crotchety

old guy. I play crotchety old guys. I'm kind

of this goofy, smart but goofy character. So

you do wonder. And the problem is because he

played Columbo, every character after Columbo,

you're going to cast Peter Falk. You know what

I mean? It's one of those things. You always

cast Peter Falk to be a Columbo type, a bit of

a goofy Columbo type. Yeah, absolutely. He's

just so good. Maybe when this is over, he's in

a movie, I believe he's in a movie called The

In -Laws with Alan Arkin. We should watch that.

Just to see. He's pretty freaking crazy in that

one, too. He's the crazy one. I am curious what

he's like outside of Columbo. The only thing

I really know him for, other than that, and you've

never watched it, is he's the grandpa in Princess

Bride. Which is, you know, basically he's the

grandpa reading a story to his kid. There's not

a lot to the role. He's good. And then Murder

by Death, which I saw when I was like... He's

doing a caricature of... Ironically, I think

he's doing a caricature of Spillane's character.

Or one of them. It's a parody of all the mystery

characters. And they get invited to... It's like

Clue. All these famous detectives get invited

to his house. And they have to solve the murder

before they get killed. I think he's... Mickey

Spillane character. Not Mickey Spillane, but

I can't remember his name. Yeah, that character.

I just looked at that, too. I'll have to pull

that up later. I think they've got the Nick and

Nora Charles. I think they've got... I can remember

all the authors. I can't remember Mrs. Marple

and maybe... Hercule, Perrault. But they're not

them. They're parody versions of those. Yeah,

it's a parody version. Oh, very cool. Yeah, pretty

much. I mean, other than when he was a merchant

marine, he's pretty much been an actor his whole

life. Yeah, but I know he did a lot of things

with Cassavetes because they were good friends.

But Cassavetes was more like a dark, serious

guy. So, I don't know anything notorious for

comedies. No. But, I mean, Columbo himself is

funny in a certain way. No, that's my point.

That's my point, is the character is kind of

inherently goofy. Yeah. But that's, you know,

I always bring up, is that, is he goofy, or is

that, I personally think he projects elements

of himself. The whole thing is, he projects his

character, which I think is true to who he is,

but he also, like, plays it up to get people

on the wrong foot. Literally, the very first

one, diagnosis of murder, prescription murder,

the guy says, you come in here like this shaggy

little dog, but you're really sharper than you...

There are a lot of times in Columbo where the

killer will go, you really are sharper than you

act. You put on this front of being a goofball,

and the question is, is it a front? That's why

we always talk about those scenes where the killer

isn't around, where he's doing stuff with the

other cops, where he is kind of absent -minded,

but he's... absent -minded in a very weirdly

focused way. Columbo's a great character. He's

just interesting. Yeah, absolutely. I want to

say this before we end the show, or this episode.

I love how he's literally offended at this Che

Che restaurant. Bowl of chili costs $6. Want

to jump in that DeLorean and go back to 1974

now? A ritzy meal, 675 with the iced tea. I was

going to say, yeah, he's like, oh, sorry, 675,

I forgot the iced tea. 675. There are a couple

of times in this show, specifically in the three

seasons so far that we've watched, where he's

gone to have the car fixed or gone to do something

or gone to have some sort of service done, whether

it was the car, whether it was the dog, the vet,

or whatever. The price is like $16 .56 or something.

And they'll say like $16 .56. And I'm like, ooh,

$1 ,650. Because my mind is thinking in like

today money. My mind is not thinking. There was

the one somewhat recently where we talked about

the counter checks. His bill for getting his

car fixed was $60. It's like, oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. I do. I think that goes back to

one of the things that Columbo ultimately is

actually kind of, like, there is this theme throughout

all of Columbo about class and status. And Columbo

is a middle -lower class character. I mean, like,

I can't remember if it was this episode or the

next one, like, you actually get a good look

at his shoes. Oh, my God. Those things have,

like, he did not get new shoes after that one

episode, because those things are beat to hell.

And then he's always – look at the people. He's

against a publisher, this one. He's against a

senator, the one he referred. But they're always

wealthy, powerful, famous, influential people.

He's always in those circles. As we've been talking,

I have been looking into Mr. Falk himself, and

obviously I've just been looking at the Wikipedia

article. But one of the things I found – and

I don't know if you have it or not, but unfortunately

it's only in hardcover or paperback. What disappoints

me is that it's not in audiobook form. His memoir

was published in August of 2006. Just one more

thing. I'm looking at a paperback version from

2007. $13. Which is hilarious because, like,

We're almost three seasons down, and he still

hasn't done that yet. I mean, he's said one more

thing. He's done it, but he's never done the

Columbo. One more thing. Just one more thing.

Yeah, just one more thing. Yeah, he still hasn't

done it. The iconic one. Yeah, the iconic one.

But I was hoping. When did he pass? Probably

not much longer than that. He's been gone for

a while. Yeah, he's been gone for a while. I

don't remember. Anything else on Publisher Parish?

I mean, I liked it. I thought it was a good episode.

At this point, I like the episodes that change

the formula, that are a little different, that

make me... I always go back to the fact that

when I first watched the show, it was in the

90s. I would come home from grad school and watch

it on A &E, and I wasn't really watching it to

do a show. You know what I mean? And the episode

order was random. So it is interesting to watch

it in order. It is interesting to watch it to

watch it and to see the way that it develops

and to see the way that they change the formula

and do things. Like the three -shot thing for

the different, you know, the way that Columbo

sometimes feel very Columbo. Like the next episode,

Columbo feels very Columbo. This episode, he

did not feel very Columbo. So, yeah. I like the

ones that are a little different, and I think

this one was a little different, which is weird

because, of course, they brought back John Cassidy,

the first guy. John Cassidy, yeah. So even though

it was more of the same but different, like,

that's the nerd mantra. That's what nerds always

want, is more of the same but different. And

that's what this was. And I liked it. I think

it was a good episode. I mean, is it a top ten

episode? No. But it's a good one, and I think

it was a legit – I think he got them legitimately.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Uh, this is the first

of two times they use the split screen thing.

Uh, I don't know. They've done it before, haven't

they? I don't remember. All I know is what the

information has in front of me says again. Folks,

as always, take Wikipedia with a grain of salt.

This episode has a split screen of Greenleaf's

alibi, Mallory's Murder. Marriott Hartley's role

is similar to this one as she played in Season

7's Try and Catch Me. Spillane was the real -life

author of Mike Hammer Detective Mysteries. Cassidy

played the villain in three Columbo episodes,

this one Murder by the Book, and now you see

him. He's a magician. He's a magician. Technically

a former Nazi. Absolutely, absolutely. All right,

folks, we are going to go to a quick podcast

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All right, folks, we are back in the 175th episode

of Studio 2009. We're going to rate this episode

of Columbo, and we'll go through the closing

and all that good stuff. I just wanted to say

thank you to everyone for listening for 175 episodes.

We got 25 to 200. We've got a bunch of stuff

coming up here inside Studio 2009. I don't know

when Dave and I will be back for Season 4 of

Columbo, but we still have a couple more here

in Season 3. We've got two more for the rest

of this season. We've got a plan for the next

stuff. Dave and I will be doing other stuff in

Studio 2009 as well as you heard us go through

the whole Jaws thing earlier. Maybe August anyway.

It's true. Turner Classics or whatever. It's

what? Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool.

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Zero to five with

half points. What are you going to give publish

or perish? I go back and forth. I guess a 3 .5.

I think it was a good episode, but it wasn't

like spectacular. Oh yeah. I'm right there with

you. Yeah. I'm right there with you. 3 .5. Mixed

bag in the way of the good stuff outweighing

the bad kind of thing. It's not an episode I

would return to, but it's not an episode that

I would turn on. If we still lived in the era

of television coming on TVs, where if this episode,

if I turned on whatever channel, like TCM or

whatever it would be, and this episode came on,

I wouldn't turn this off. This is not a Columbo

episode. I would be like, oh, I'm not watching

that. So there's that. So yeah, three and a half

all around. Very, very cool. Up next, folks,

we've got Mind Over Mayhem. Any other final thoughts

from you, sir, before I run through the closing?

I think I got it. It's a fine episode. This has

been an interesting season. It is weird they

keep referring back to that stupid senator one.

It was just a state senator. I think he was a

state senator or was he a U .S. senator? Oh,

I don't remember. He had to be a U .S. senator

because they were talking about Fresno and San

Francisco. Okay, that's probably what it was.

All right, folks, thank you for joining us here

inside Studio 2009. If you'd like to get in contact

with us, leave feedback for the show. There are

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You can also check out Studio 2009 Podcast over

there as well. Next time, as I mentioned, Dave

and I will be checking out Mind Over Mayhem Season

3. Emphasis on mayhem. Oh, yeah. Big time. All

that was missing was mask. Yep. For now, I'm

TF2 and Mike with... Dave Graper. Miller is back

in the studio soon. An experience I don't wish

to relive, thank you.