Weird Internet News Stories and Pop Culture

Hi, this is Kyle Higgins and you're listening

to the Geekcatch Radio Network. Ah, sorry about

that. All right, meow. Hand over your license

and registration. Your registration. Hurry up,

meow. Sorry. Is there something funny here, boy?

No. Well, then why are you laughing, Mr. Larry

Johnson? All right, meow, where were we? I'm

sorry, are you saying meow? Am I saying meow?

I thought you... Don't think, boy, meow, do you

know how fast you were going? Meow what is so

damn funny? I could have sworn you said meow.

Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumping

around all nimbly -bimbly from tree to tree?

No, no. Am I drinking milk from a saucer? No.

Well, do you see me eating mice? Hey, you stop

laughing right now. Yes. Now, I'm gonna have

to give you a ticket on this. But... No buts,

meow. That's the law. Not so funny meow, is it?

Meow! You are now on the inside of what I like

to call the circle of trust. You know something,

Bert? What? I think you and I are going in circles.

It feels like we're going in circles. The circuit

is now complete. When I left you, I was but the

learner. Now I am the master. Because it's a

circle. Yeah, we heard about the circle. Yes,

we're familiar with shapes. Hi. This is Greg.

This is Chuck. And this is Dan. And we are talking

in circles brought to you by the E -Cast Radio

Network, the podcast where you can dance if you

want to. You can leave your friends behind. But

if they can't dance and if they can't prance,

then no friends of mine. You can dance if you

want to. You can leave your friends behind. But

if they can't dance and if they can't prance,

then you're no friend of mine. It's like starting

like Energizer Bunny and then like regretting

it immediately afterwards. You totally hit a

song I knew and get stuck in my head constantly.

Yeah, and that's gonna be stuck in my head forever

For those joining us for the first time because

we know that this episode will be the first one

that may be on nerdly This is talking in circles

and just give you a brief overview of our podcast.

Basically, we're kind of a general pop culture

geek culture type of podcast that we kind of

discuss a little bit of everything from movies

games comics occasionally sports you know so.

Will give plenty of warning if we ever get into

sports because we know arts sports can bore some

people, but we you know We talk about movies.

We also play a lot of games and for today We're

gonna do something we did once before and that's

when we kind of searched the web for fun and

interesting news stories That cover a variety

of topics and kind of discuss them. So I just

would like to thank Nerly for syndicating our

podcast for the first time and welcome all your

new listeners, hopefully from the UK and worldwide.

We apologize for our horrible American accents,

but we were born this way. So I don't know the

Lady Gaga song to go along with that, but I just

wanted to say a special hello to Emma Watson.

Hi. You're very cute. Oh, and Karen Gilliam.

How are you? You're also very cute. I don't think

you know how England works, Greg. How England

works? Just joking. But if they're listening,

sup. I'm Mary. I thought you were going to say

stay away from Greg. Greg, I think you already

kind of told them that. You mean with my frantic

safety dance? Yeah. But before we get to all

that, how's the week been going for you guys?

Good no - Who's everybody? The people on Nerdly

might not know about this, but on the couple

episodes ago on our Geekcast radio page, I had

this person message me on Skype. I forget what

the name was. It was some snazzy name. Yeah,

it was Cakes Something. I didn't give out the

full name, but it was a pretty great story. Now

recently I have had somebody else message me

and I have not talked to them yet, but I'm going

to maybe a little bit later, but I have a request

from, we'll just call them, part of their name

is, well, I think I could give out the whole

thing, except for the number at the end. Sassy

Hearts. Nice. Yeah, so I'm really pumped to talk

to this person. get a little thing going back

and forth and maybe next week I'll read that

on the podcast if I get them to respond back.

So I'm very, very much looking forward to that.

You don't understand how excited I was before

we started talking on Skype. I'm like, oh, I

got a new person. Oh, they haven't really...

Perverted kind of name or cutesy girly name.

Oh, this is gonna be awesome Sassy heart sounds

like those rejected Valentine's Day hearts, you

know the sweethearts It's like instead of saying

I love you people say tastes like chalk Yeah,

yeah, they taste like chalk but people eat them

anyways because it's like hey this one says I

love you and then there's the one the sassy ones

would be obviously like, you know sassy I'm trying

to give an examples and nothing's coming. I had

a joke there and then it completely died. So

Well, they're just little antacids if somebody's

like really going after your heart pretty bad

Yeah, don't play games with my heart though.

That's not nice Don't go playing games with my

heart with my heart I don't know the rest of

the lyrics. I think you do. I think you're just

afraid to admit it. You just went platinum in

England All right. Yeah. Yeah, Chuck. How's your

week been going? terrible terrible Very, very

bad week. My week was filled with strife. Firstly,

I, uh... Were you talking to English people?

Yeah, I mean... You're like, I must use highfalutin

words. We're over in England now. I know, it's...

What other word can I use to describe it? I mean,

it was just filled with strife. First, I bought

a book on Amazon. Actually, it was on eBay, I'm

sorry. It was an x -men executioner song book

and As you may know that's filled with strife.

He's he's on many of those I'm enjoying that

story currently. I'm a few issues into that but

then after that I Ordered online I pre -ordered

a new Marvel Legends six inch strife figure Which

will be coming out in August so I'm pretty excited

about that That's about average size, I think.

For Americans. What size do British people get

their action figures at? I don't know. I don't

know what the transition or what is it called?

The measurement scale? Yeah, I don't know what

that is the metric system. Who knows? Centimeters?

I think a trillion centimeters. I think that's

that's how that translates. That sounds right.

That seems awfully big. Yeah, but it really isn't.

It's weird. Centimeters are weird. Anyway, I

don't know I am losing my mind You know waiting

till August that will cause a lot of strife I'm

sure waiting for strife indeed indeed I had a

lot of strife as well because I went to a Mexican

restaurant that I was very much looking forward

to all Yeah, you do that now, but just wait.

Oh, I went to a Mexican restaurant I was looking

forward to it all week. Like I knew a lot of

people were talking it up. It just opened not

too long ago. It's called Barco Sina and for

those that's bar with the latin word for kitchen

after it or the spanish word for kitchen after

it so i was like okay let's see how this thing

is and i get there and it's not a good sign when

you're a mexican restaurant or you you're portraying

yourself as a mexican restaurant and your menu

is only one page i'm like that's not how mexican

food works No, it's all this. It's literally

four ingredients that you arrange differently

how That's not how this works. I wasn't something.

All right. Well, maybe all right It's it was

like in between like lunch and dinner. So I'm

like, maybe this is just the lunch minute menu

It's their full menu. The only like thing they

have are like tacos and they have a lot of dips

They're like more that's basically the they're

like, oh, we're our restaurant is more about

socialization and Not so much like the food like

it's a restaurant the bar basically was based

on socialization they're like oh we're part like

eat dine and socialize which i kind of get it's

more of a bar than a restaurant but You know,

I would been looking forward to it all week and

it was just kind of a disappointment and the

food was okay But it was like Mexican food if

done by pretentious white hipsters that only

shop at Whole Foods So I'm like Mexican food

should be like bad for you You should feel bad

about yourself after you leave but like good

about yourself and it just like this was I was

a little bit disappointed So it's like a brick

-and -mortar Facebook, but with food Yeah, kind

of kind of But it's like that old -school socialization

when you actually talk to people like I don't

know it's kind of weird You have to look them

in the eye for some odd reason Yeah, yeah, and

as John Oliver says you can't poke them in the

face to make them go away You should definitely

go back to that the one we went to when you we

visit you down in Baltimore That other place

with the hot waitress with the yoga pants or

stretchy pants, whatever the hell they were actually

came up in conversation Well, not that waitress,

but with that restaurant, which was uh, I can't

think of the name of it right now I've not gone

to it like a trillion times That's today's and

all your friends are like so you have this pervy

friend That's like look staring at the waitress's

ass while you're eating mexican food No, I didn't

bring that up. See that's what they're they're

breeding in that that restaurant that type of

socialization I am so lost right now. I'm having

my own conversation. That's when you know what

you're good when you don't even need anyone else

to carry the conversation. You just keep rolling

along. It's like giving yourself an own alley

oop, right? People on the other end of this like

listening later could just add in their own words.

Yeah, it's like choose your own adventure podcast

style. Exactly. Oh, wow. Anyways, besides that,

Greg, what else have you been up to? You've been

watching, listening, reading anything. I know

you're very cultured, so I'm assuming you've

read something. Well, I was about to respond

to that, and then my allergies decided, hmm,

I think this is a great opportunity for Greg

to think he's going to sneeze, then not. You

never look dumber than that when you're talking

in a conversation, and then like, hold on, I

got to sneeze, and then you don't, and then they're

like, what was that about? I don't think he knows

how to sneeze. But yes, I was being very cultured.

I knew we were going to be airing over in Great

Britain. So I decided to read a book. But I decided

to read a book that I thought was going to be

coming out as a TV show soon. So I wanted to

get on it. It was a very good thing I did because

it's actually coming out on the 13th next month.

And that is The Strain Trilogy. I just read the

third book. I'm going to be a little dyslexic.

I don't remember if it's the night eternal or

the eternal night. I think it's the night eternal,

though. But it's by one of our favorite people

here on Talking in Circles. It's by Gizmo del

Toro, the same man who brought us Pacific Rim.

We don't say his first name right because I do

not know how to say it correctly. Just bought

in like a true American. It's called the night

eternal, so. Okay, thanks. How dare you. It's

also by a gentleman named Chuck Hogan, but nobody

really pays attention to him because it's written

by Del Toro. Who would pay attention to Chuck?

I mean, come on. Who names a kid Chuck, by the

way? It's such a weird name. Right here, guys.

Right here. What? Who's that? But I thought it

was very good. It's a little bit of a change

up from the first and second novel. And it kind

of goes into a darker place. I don't want to

give a whole bunch away because people may be

still reading the first book or like just finishing

up on the first book in anticipation for the

TV show or maybe even on the second book. So

I don't want to give too much away, but I thought

it was very good. Very dark. It also mentions

where we're from, Chuck. There's a little mention

of Scranton. They kind of drive past. Yeah, there's

a little mention of Scranton. City block's on

fire, though. Let me guess that's where the strain

started. No. In the armpit of the earth here.

It's not in Scranton, but they do explain...

where the disease, the vampirism comes from,

which I thought was an interesting way how to

describe it. I kind of wish there was a little

bit more of that backstory, but what they had

was really good. If you're religious, I'm not

sure if you would really enjoy their description

of what goes on, because I believe it takes the

story of Sodom and Gomorrah and kind of twists

it a little bit. I'm not too sure. I myself am

not too religious, so I'm not exactly up on my

story of Sodom and Gomorrah, but I definitely

thought it was a good take and you've got some

great flawed characters in there, which is one

of my favorite things in books is to have a character

that's really flawed and You really get that

in this book. And when you first start off, a

couple of them that you think aren't too bad,

flaw -wise, eventually end up being really flawed

in this book, but kind of make up for it in the

end. I'm not sure if that gives away too much.

Sorry if it does. You just ruined it for me.

What the hell? You weren't gonna read this book

anyway, Chuck. It's got three marks against it.

A, it's a regular novel. B, it's about vampirism.

You call me stupid. And C, it's got a religious

twist that I'm sure you wouldn't particularly

care for. See, I read the first book and you

didn't ruin it for me yet because I still don't

even... Okay, good good, but I say I seriously

do Love this story because I their take on vampires

is pretty cool. It's not that Freaking shitty

ass Twilight vampire. It's like a blade Vampirism

with really like gross disgusting horror Slash

them up kind of stuff going on and like really

badass people and there is a character Don't

remember if he's comes in the first second or

This book I think the first or second But he's

very much a blade character and he's he was one

of my More favorite characters and I think that's

the one aspect that Chuck would really enjoy

is this character because he's kind of similar

to blade But I think how they set up the vampirism

of it being an infection and it being transmitted

through this worm that goes through the bloodstream,

like these worms that go through the bloodstream.

So even if you destroy a vampire with a silver

blade and like cut his head off, which is how

you're supposed to kill them in this book, that

still releases these blood worms out and they

could dig into your skin and so you could still

get infected that way. So you don't even want

to touch this blood. So knowing there's a TV

series, does that kind of worry you at all? Like

I know some people get very protective of books

and hearing that they're going to be into a movie

or into a series and think, okay, they're going

to ruin it. Or does that have you more excited?

It does a little bit. I think I've seen It's

been a while since I've read the first book,

so I've seen the character list that they've

come up with and who's playing who. You've got

the dude who plays Sam Weiss in the Lord of the

Rings films, he's in it, but I'm not sure if

his character existed in the first book or not.

It's a little bit foggy yet. For the people on

Nerdly, my memory sucks balls. And they also

have the Well, the older gentleman that played

the janitor in Harry Potter series, he's gonna

play one of the main characters from the book,

who I very much enjoyed. And he's a really good

actor. But I'm not too, too worried. I have a

feeling they're gonna have to stretch some things

out if it becomes really popular to make it last,

because it's only a three book series. I'm not

sure how that's gonna translate to TV if they're

just gonna do a season of book. I don't see how

that's even really possible with how it's written.

This is just gonna be a short TV series and they're

just gonna do to the end of the books and then

they're done no matter if they're doing good

or not. But I think it's gonna be like a Walking

Dead type of thing but with vampires and I very

much Put my faith in del Toro with most things.

He usually does a pretty good job Yeah, I think

I don't know how much he has in the TV show FX

is pretty steady with their TV and they have

a lot of good stuff So, I mean that has to be

somewhat excited and they do seem like the network

that wouldn't drag it out like they would more

Have a miniseries like this is endpoint and start

point. I'm not gonna drag it out seven seasons

Just because cough cough true blood cough cough

and plus they have some pretty famous people

in there There are some names I haven't seen

before But they do have some a couple notable

actors which makes me think they're not gonna

be in it too long because They usually get a

bigger paycheck than what they might be getting

on this show Yeah, you never know though. You've

seen a lot of TV actors show up in regular television

I mean true detective had Woody Harrelson and

in Matthew McConaughey, but I feel like that's

different being HBO Yeah, that's true. That's

true But I mean Robin Williams did a CBS show

and not that he's been a big movie star But he's

a pretty big star. So who knows it's a wait and

see I'm sure we'll talk about it as The months

come and we get to watch it for real. Yes, definitely

a knock on wood or silver Yeah, I read the first

book too, and I remember loving it a lot. I don't

remember anything from it all that much I remember

the plane I remember like it come like the the

setup and it and I do want to go back and revisit

it and finish that trilogy They do have a description

of the first episode and it is dealing with the

plane. So awesome awesome Chuck What are you

been up to this week? I've been up to two awful

much but uh, I did get to see a fantastic movie

this week is it also about kids with the terrible

disease yeah i was gonna ask the same thing down

no no it's it's much uh it's a much better tone

let's say uh it's much more uplifting and uh

heroic you might say oh you watched ten years

last no not quite this this movie actually would

be regarded by many uh as one of the greatest

masterpieces in all of us in all of cinema history

in fact and that is of course the toxic avenger

i've seen that i am so surprised that you have

watched that chuck that wow so surprised you

could have given me a million guesses and i would

never have guessed that you would watch that

movie i know i know it wasn't even like a homework

assignment that greg gave you I was I was gonna

like if that that would be a joke. Yes for me.

I'm like he'd never watch this So I guess with

with that said what did you think of it? For

some reason I'd always wanted to see this movie

like I've seen stuff online and and whatnot But

something I've always wanted to see it. I never

get the chance to the other night I didn't have

anything to do So I kind of just searched in

Netflix for the heck of it and it was on there

a couple of them are on there Yeah, so I figured

well My quest to find the worst movie ever made

continues As I try to find a film that will usurp

the title from the current record holder, which

is birdemic shock and terror So you say birdemic

is worse than the Fantastic Four movie from 1994?

I do. Yes. I mean, it's a legitimate legitimate

complaint I mean, I do think the special effects

in that Fantastic Four movie are probably superior

to birdemic. So I think the acting is even Superior

and that's saying a lot. That's very true At

least the sound design, you know Yeah, at least

this sounds consistent all the way through Well,

so I did I did get to sit down and watch this

movie and let me say it's pretty incredible The

best way I can describe this movie is that it's

what birdemic could have been if their budget

was like $20 higher So double Yeah. I don't think

Toxic Avenger is quite as bad as Burdemic, but

it's pretty awful. The difference is, though,

that Toxic Avenger was intended to be ridiculous

because it's made by the Trauma Entertainment

Group, and that's kind of what they do. They

use these 50s horror movie themes. They kind

of sprinkle in some ridiculousness, like very

violent and over the top graphic scenes that

don't actually look very real. And some over

the top goofiness with character traits and speech

patterns and stuff like that. I didn't know this

at first when I was watching it. So I'm like,

holy crap, this movie is horrible. The acting

was horrendous. Like certain people saying their

lines sounded like they literally never rehearsed

it ever. And literally never been in front of

a camera before either. And they even had like

some different voices at different times for

Toxy, the Toxic Avenger. It was like, you know,

it'd be like a deep voice and then the camera

angle would switch and it'd be like a slightly

different voice. Like, what the hell? I guess

a lot of that kind of goofiness was intended.

But whether intentional or not, it's still a

lame ass movie and therefore very hilarious.

So, I mean, as long as it's entertaining, I guess

that's all that matters. So the the setting starts

off in a health club in the town of Traumaville

and They have a mop boy working at the health

club. He's like a janitor and Everyone hates

him. They tease him because he's always in the

way and he's clumsy and knocking stuff over and

everything so they're constantly teasing him

and humiliating him and all this stuff and the

main antagonists of the movie like this little

group of four people two guys and two girls they

have this really sick game where they try to

run over people on the street with their car

and they assign points depending on what type

of person it is by the way i used to do that

game in my head not actually doing it to people

but in my head but the really disturbing part

is that they They run over a kid on a bicycle

who's like 12 years old and they. They run him

over, he flips up over the top of the car, lands

on the pavement. And they're all like going nuts

and they look back and the kids still like crawling

across the road. So he backs up and literally

runs right over his head with the tire. Yeah,

and they don't even pan away. They they show

it. And I read that they actually they use some

sort of. watermelon filled with red dye and something

else to kind of make it look like brains and

blood squirting out and all this other stuff

but just really really disturbing stuff but anyway

they kind of go on teasing Melvin at the health

club and they orchestrate this big thing to humiliate

him and everything and he ends up running trying

to get away from the crowd because everyone's

laughing at him They start chasing him through

the place and he jumps out a window and just

Happen to be sitting there in the street. Is

this random truck with toxic waste barrels with

no lids on them? Because that always happens

and He lands right into one of the barrels of

toxic waste, of course And he gets superpowers

like you normally would devil Turtles Incredible

Hulk. Keep going. Instead of dying, you you clearly

would get superpowers that you would use for

good. So he kind of undergoes this violent transformation

and he's all hideous looking and everything.

And of course, the next logical thing would be

to go out into your city and start fighting crime.

At least that's that's the first thing I would

think of. Not the hospital. Yeah. Yeah, don't

don't go to the emergency room. Why would you

even do that? But anyway, he comes to the aid

of some innocent people and in different crimes

and stuff and proceeds to beat the living shit

out of the bad guys with extreme overkill, talking

like ripping arms off and smacking people with

them. Nice. Extreme overkill. Crushing people's

heads and putting a guy's It was a restaurant

that was being held up and he tied the guy's

hands together and lowered them into a deep fryer

that you put french fries in. Deep fryer that

you put french fries in. I had french fried hands.

So that was pretty crazy. They were delicious.

There was another guy, I think he put him in

the pizza oven and shut the door or something.

Was it brick oven pizza like how you know, what

type of It was just your generic, you know stainless

steel Pizza oven. Yeah, I think I think I've

been more effective. It was brick oven I think

you get you get a deeper deeper cook with that

Get a better char too You can't leave it in too

long because it gets overdone. Yeah. Yeah When

it comes out, it has that really crispy taste.

It's pretty it's pretty good. Yeah melts the

cheese really nice, too Yeah, in the hair and

your skin, apparently. And apparently the people

that were holding up the restaurant that came

in, there was a group of you guys. And it's interesting.

I had read that the one guy in the movie who

he has a shotgun, he first there's a blind lady

and he shoots her seeing eye dog. Oh, for no

reason. And I guess they got a ton of complaints

about that scene, like. That's the scene they

got complaints about, and not the kids getting

his head crushed. Shut that baby up! Shut that

baby up! Nobody cares about the kid getting run

over on a bicycle, but the guy shot the dog,

like, what the hell? But that same actor, the

scene also called for him to point his shotgun

at a baby. And because of that... I should have

said I might shut the baby up for there. After...

After that scene, he actually quit the movie

because they made him point a shotgun at a baby.

So I'm like, probably should have quit before

you did it. Way to like do it, get your paycheck

and be like, yeah, I quit. But yeah, the. This

blind lady that I talked about before the toxic

Avenger kind of helps her up and everything and

of course She can't see how hideous he is. So

he's like, oh, let me help you and walk you back

and whatever and she lost her dog so she needs

someone to help her and they kind of Go off together

and they start hanging out and they fall in love

and everything and they start living together

Every everything by the way is banging Yes. Yes.

Is that the same blind lady that goes out with

a thing? No. Sadly, no. It's not Alicia Masters.

She did do the hand thing on his face where she

tried to, like, see his face and she's like,

Oh, you're beautiful. And I'm like, Wow, even

your hands are blind. Like, what the hell? But

she lost the use of those in a frying accident.

The one day Toxy kind of loses it and he kills

this innocent lady and everything. And of course,

the. Next logical step would be for the mayor

to call for the National Guard to come and kill

him, capture him. No police. No, just the police

can't handle the job. And, you know, the citizens

kind of stand up for him and everything. And

the rest is history. But he does end up getting

revenge on all the people at the health club

that humiliated him and picked on him and stuff.

So they did wrap up some loose ends, which is

the mark of a great movie. That's more than Birdemic

did. Yes. You came away with more loose ends

than you ever bargained for with Birdemic. But

to be fair, there is a sequel. So yes, come out

there. Which is apparently out and I have not

seen it yet, so we need to get on that. Yeah,

it is out. I've seen it. I have not watched it

because I figured that's something that has to

be done as a group. Did you also know Chuck that

there make there's has been talk over I think

the past couple of years of redoing that franchise

What would your thoughts be about that? Do you

think they should reboot it rebooting Toxic Avenger?

Yep. Oh Yeah, why not, you know Go for it. Give

this one to the kids Greg. That's a different

game. We're not playing that game this week Oh,

I'm sorry. I think as long as I know they're

intending it to be crazy and really, really goofy

and campy and over the top, then I'm okay with

it. They do name themselves as high. I forget

whether it's like King or it's King of Schlock

or something like that. So they know that they're

like, it's fucked up. And essentially all their

movies are like that because I've watched a ton

of Troma Entertainment stuff. I'm a big fan of

the... The terrible B rated C rated movies. Yeah,

because that's kind of an art in itself You could

have a bad movie and it's unwatchable, but so

you can have a movie. That's so bad that it's

good And I like the movies that they're so bad

that they're good it's funny cuz like In birdemic

the director thought he was making a real movie

like he was actually And just by accident it

turned out to be freaking hilarious and then

he kind of talked some sense into him like yeah

your movie's like really less than stellar yeah

this this shit well this would be better as a

comedy okay yeah yeah but uh i i did have one

regret watching the toxic avenger and that that

was that we couldn't all watch it together because

uh honestly one of my favorite things is is when

we get together and watch bad movies because

uh between the three of us we just come up with

some hilarious shit to make fun of them And I

kind of wish that we could have done that for

this one, but hey, there's always the sequels

I think there's like what four toxic Avenger

movies. Yeah, I believe there's four They get

progressively worse even for them I used to watch

the cartoon series back in the day. So Yeah,

there was a cartoon series. So there's that.

Yes. I thought there was but I never saw that

yeah It is weird the amount of like cartoon series

that they had in the 80s and 90s based off like

R rated movies like Brambo and Toxic Avenger

like in RoboCop. I'm like these are not things

meant for children and we're making kids. All

right Gotta love it the strip cheese cartoon

Yeah So yeah, that was quite entertaining for

the night that I spent watching that. So we'll

have to get together and check out the other

ones, because I need to see them now. We can

do that and then watch some Swamp Thing. Which

I've watched as a kid, but I have not watched

that movie in years. So I wonder what it looks

like now. I can only imagine. Or Man Thing, which

is a great movie as well. Yeah, I've still yet

to watch Man Thing. That's one of the, like,

oldie Marvel movies I've yet to see, so. Oh,

you gotta watch that. You really need to see

a giant -sized Man Thing, Dan. You've never lived

until you've seen a giant -sized Man Thing. You

think, like, annually it would come up every

so often? That a Man Thing would eventually,

you know... Pop up? Yeah, but not yet. It hasn't

yet to pop up. My goal as a comic collector has

always been to find a giant -sized Man Thing.

Yeah. It is the big, giant, slimy man thing.

All right. If you're listening, we'll go on to

Dan's stuff. Wow. Just to get the heads up here,

the transition into what I was watching, don't

make it too quickly because it may lead to some

whiplash because what I was watching this weekend,

and I'm going to sound like the ultimate pretentious

person with this. Fault in our stars? No, it

wasn't fault in our stars. Actually, when you

said like considered one of the best movies of

all time, I don't know if this is considered

one of the best movies of all time, but it is

considered it was made by one of the most notable

directors of all time. And that's Akira Kurosawa.

And for those who don't know, that is a guy who

has he directs a lot of samurai films. He's done

Ran. He's done. You ever heard of the movie Seven

Samurai? That, you know, probably my favorite

film that he has ever made. And if you've ever

watched the movie Magnificent Seven, that is

a remake of The Seven Samurais. So he's notable

because his movies were doing things well before

any American films have. And a lot of directors

like Scorsese, Spielberg, Coppola, they'll look

at Kurosawa, among others, as like huge influences

on what they do. I have Hulu, so the online site,

and I have access to the Criterion Collection,

and I was trying to catch up on some things,

so I watched Yojimbo, which is one of his more

notorious samurai films, and I think the good

thing about Yojimbo is it's a good one to start

off with if you've like, I want to see what this

guy has to offer. I keep thinking of some southern

dude getting called out. Yo Jimbo! Come over

and look at my truck! I just got it today! Yeah?

Yo Jimbo! Get over here! I probably pronounced

it incorrectly, so... Trying to rape that pig,

Jimbo! Get over here! And we lost the southern

audience. So you have seen it, Greg. Is that

what you're saying? Yes No, so the the basic

idea behind the movie is like I mentioned It's

the samurai film and there is this town that

is kind of becoming very splintered between two

factions that And it's kind of becoming falling

apart. Basically. There's a gambling casino type

of area and like it's becoming really like infested

and there's not much going on that's a dying

decaying city and the same right comes into this

town to kind of try to like basically save the

city in a way, but Do it in almost like a Batman

like mode where he almost seems more like a villain

He plays both sides of these two different factions

where you know They both end up respecting him

a great deal thinking that they're on he's on

their side and he kind of plays both of them

try to Show them for like how like cowardly they

really are. So It starts out like how you kind

of expect it and then has some twists and turns

and whatnot, but I really I really Liked it a

lot. I wouldn't consider it one of Kurosawa's

best. I mean, Seventh Serenade is definitely

up there. But there are some little bit more

cartoonish elements, especially this one character

who is like... I think for today, we would say

he's on the spectrum. He has like a huge unibrow

over -overbite, like he's like really overweight.

He's very like, like I said, this one's more...

I would say not childish humor, but more broad

humor with this character, but... He had a few

laughs there. But like I said, if you're a fan

of samurai films where you were like, I want

to see what Kara Kurosawa has to offer. What

is his style like? I think Yujimbo is a good

one to start with. It's currently available on

streaming on Hulu. So I'm a big fan of samurai

films. I just love the mood. I love the atmosphere.

And so finally got to check that one out. And

one thing I was just going to touch on real briefly

because in order to like hit the other end of

this so I don't seem like this film snob, though

my wife calls me it all the time, and that is

I watched the one watch the season premiere of

True Blood. Do any of you guys watch True Blood

at all? I watched like the first two seasons

and I should go out and get the blu -rays, but

I just haven't and I've been saving up money

for other things like comic books and stuff.

I would say save your money. Okay. I usually

like to see Anne in a pack when not wearing a

lot of clothing, but Yeah, yeah, but I think

there's probably better ways to do that It's

on the internet for free Greg. Yeah, there you

go The seasons all kind of blend together to

me But once where panthers start showing up it

started going downhill and then like everyone

became yeah, exactly They jump the where panther

It took me a second, but then I got it very nice.

Yeah Fonzie's on a motorcycle. He jumps right

over the were panther But yeah, like everything

became everyone became a thing like then this

guy it was just like everyone had a superpower

I'm like, this is kind of getting ridiculous.

This is from coming in from a guy who likes comic

books I'm like, this is all this is kind of crazy

and I kind of described true blood as a show

that Where there's always a million things going

on, but nothing ever happens. There's all these

things and all these people but nothing ever

happens It's like something happened And this

is the beginning of the season was just kind

of it feels like a show that should have ended

We talked about like with a strain like maybe

the hopefully that doesn't happen Doesn't do

what true blood did and this should have been

like five seasons Maybe if even that the last

two were like on autopilot. I don't think they

really there's so much just Pointlessness to

everything that's going on. I mean there is a

potential for this season because there's just

kind of this cool thing where There are like

these vampires are going crazy. So it's like

almost like an all -out war. So hopefully just

goes batshit Tarsus and venture extreme overkill.

What do we call it? EXTREME OVERKILL Exactly,

it goes that route and just goes completely crazy

and that would be great. It's just a show running

out of steam It's the last season this season

and I think the writers quit like three seasons

ago This is the last season. Yeah. Yeah, maybe

I'll get them in binge watch when they go on

sale Yeah, so I mean hoping maybe with it being

last season you put it all together and finally

do something but like I watch HBO on Sunday nights

because it's like the one time that I have nothing

to do and I just I tend to watch a lot of my

favorite shows on that network because if you

watch if you read my article in geocastradio

.com where I list my 10 favorite TV shows five

of them air on HBO on Sunday nights, so it's

just I don't know It's a sweet spot for me. So

once this is over, one of my favorite shows,

Newsroom comes back on. So I'll be excited for

that. So it's almost like just waiting. It's

waiting to turn, you know, like there's a guy

in front of you and you're just waiting to turn.

That's what true blood is at this point. It's

that guy in front of you that I'm waiting to

get out of the way so I can get the direction

I want to get to. I was never even. Interested

in watching true blood and this from the guy

that was interested in seeing toxic Avenger Yeah,

like I said, I think literally the first like

four seasons or so are good enjoyable I just

it just kind of lost steam and it kind of just

went crazy and it's a show I felt like never

knew how to end it was great build up but like

the ending always was kind of a dud So it's like

a Brian Michael Bendis. There you go. He might

be a co -producer, you never know. He's on everything,

so... Yeah, but I think that'll bring us to the

end of this segment. We're gonna take a quick

break, and when we come back we have some news

of the weird that we'll be getting into, so we'll

see you in a bit. So let's say you're looking

for a podcast of your favorite 80s comic books,

G .I. Joe, Transformers, Ninja Turtles, He -Man,

etc. Where are you gonna go to find us? Welcome

to star Joe's podcast. I'm your host Ryan and

I'm Chuck. That's right everybody We're the star

Joe's we host a podcast called star Joe's podcast

Where we talk about your favorite comic books

your favorite toys of all the 80s properties

Star Wars GI Joe Transformers mask Thundercats

Voltron you name it we covered if it's in the

80s. We will cover it at some point Yes, so what

you want to do to find us, you can go to iTunes,

you can go to www .starjos .com, and remember,

the force will be with you, because knowing us

is half the battle. All right, and welcome back.

And like I mentioned, we'll be going over some

strange new stories that happened across the

world in the last few weeks or so. I'm actually

gonna kick things off here, and I'm gonna actually

start this by posing a question to you guys if

I actually the question What is the best predator

or the most ferocious predator on earth? What

do you think you would say currently? the predator

Well besides fictional characters Siberian tiger

Okay, Greg. What do you say? dragons Okay, what

are you smoking? I'm not sure if he could smoke

it, but I'm drinking an old Arnold Palmer. It's

that count is smoking something sure. Oh that

does explain a lot If I was gonna ask you what

the most ferocious predator in the ocean was

what would you say? a whale Okay, sharktopus.

Well sharktopus works. I guess in there actually

might be a sharktopus crazy enough the reason

being i was hoping someone would say the great

white shark but i guess it's not shark week so

maybe it's not on your your mind but i was i

was going to you know the great white shark the

most notorious shark jaws the movie was being

out of him and everything well there's actually

uh researchers that are searching for what they're

calling a super predator there was a great white

shark that they were tracking You know, they

hooked it and tagged it and they were tracking

it. And then suddenly they realized one day that

something attacked this great white shark, you

know, this massive huge creature and dragged

it two and a half miles below the ocean and like

devoured it basically almost whole. So they have

no idea what it was or what could do that to

a great white shark. They're thinking maybe a

massive great white shark like a Megalodon or

what have you or they really don't know what

could have done that to such a gigantic creature.

I wonder if it was the thing. There was a couple

of years back there was a recording of this giant

ping in the ocean. Like they heard it from very,

very far away and it was the loudest thing ever

recorded. And a bunch of scientists got together

and determined that it was an organic being.

It wasn't like a fault since there's some gas

coming up through a fault under the ocean or

anything like that. It was like it was a noise

from an actual organic thing or a beast or something.

So I wonder if those are the same kind of thing.

Well, well, it is kind of crazy. I know exactly

what creature would do that to a great white

shark. Gojira. Which is a racist version of Godzilla.

Very racist. Thank God there are no Asian people

over in Great Britain. That is not racist. That

was the original word. G -O -J -I -R -A, Gojira.

No, you're right. There's a semi -colon in there

too. Don't forget the semi -colon. Wiki it, damn

it. Do it. But yeah, I'm trying to wiki the loud

noise under the water. Well, you know what? You

need more than one computer. No excuses. No,

not necessarily a funny story, but this one that

I was like, holy crap. And I'm going to the beach

in two days. So I'm like, maybe I won't go swimming.

So that is pretty crazy. Yeah. I wonder if it

was like a like a killer whale or something.

They've been known to like attack great whites.

Yeah. I'm going to call it the extreme overkill

predator. We're gonna we're gonna coin that term

Yeah, I was I was watching a special where basically

like uh There was this island that was dominated

by great white sharks and then a bunch of killer

sharks showed up And just like completely dominated

them They would do a thing where they would Swim

underneath them and turn them on on their stomach

and like then this like the shark the sharks

go in this catatonic state And then you just

devour the shark. So Killer whales are pretty

badass. So yeah By the way, I've been looking

up for that weird noise under the ocean on Wikipedia.

And in my searches so far, I found an interesting

thing in the search results. They have a Wikipedia

article about grunting in tennis. This actually

exists. They have an article about grunting in

tennis. I think you've reached the end of the

internet. Yes! Finished! Turn around and come

back. All right, so that's my first story. Greg,

what do you got? Hold on, I gotta switch back

from Wikipedia. I have a very interesting story

and of course has to make us Americans look like...

Bag of douches like seriously if this podcast

has not already done that Especially me with

extreme overkill every two seconds But I guess

I'll just read the title first student gets stuck

in Giant stone vagina statue trying to take a

funny picture And he did it wasn't him that First

off, who makes a giant stone vagina? I actually

found this article, too. It was hilarious. It

was in Germany, right? Yeah, it was in Germany,

go figure. The Germans, either very analytical

or just a little off their rocker, i .e. Hitler,

very off his rocker. But they have this giant,

it's just like a block with a vagina sculpted

into it. I believe it's on a college campus,

if I remember correctly. Where else would it

be? Yeah. But this exchange student saw it and

figured, oh, this would be a great spot for a

picture. He was probably from America. I'm pretty

sure he's gay, though, because the way he decided

to take the picture... It looks like he is so

they have his face blurred because he's apparently

embarrassed by the incident Should have done

it in the frickin first place jackass while trapped

in the vagina. He asked where is the magical

clitoris? We need to be fair. I think most guys

would be Have a scared look on their face if

they were stuck in a gigantic vagina It'd be

like the worst dream coming back to haunt them.

He looks like a giant sperm sticking out Oh,

I think I remember reading. Didn't it take twenty

two firefighters to rescue the guy? It did take

twenty two firefighters. I got a figure twenty

one of them just wanted to see the vagina or

the kids stuck in the bowl. I want to hear that

call over the radio. It's like Hans, you want

to take care of this problem? Yeah, sure. What

is it? Kids stuck in a giant vagina. Hang on,

you may need some help. No one got to an emergency

faster. Actually, I just read right here that

it's not actually a sculpture. This just got

added on. It's not actually a sculpture. It's

actually a flesh light for Godzilla. That's what

that loud ping was But even even more outrageous

than the number of 22 firefighters is How much

this sculpture actually costs would you guys

like to wager a guess at? Chuck seen the article

so he probably already knows but Dan Do you how

much do you think a giant stone vagina costs?

Well, I'm it's 33 tons of vagina It's priceless.

Well, never had to guess on the price of a vagina

before. How much do you - Well, a regular prostitute

costs - Dan, you watch Taken, come on. I'm gonna

guess knowing art people, I don't know, $20 ,000.

Up, Dan, up. Really? Jesus. Yes, like many men

before it, up. Uh, $60 ,000. up to a hundred

thousand a Little bit closer that time. It's

a hundred and sixty three grand for this 33 ton

vagina sculpture so it since this is the price

is right. I don't win since I went over yeah

Apparently he's not that well endowed the man

that got stuck in the vagina statue Because he

left it undamaged It was like he's not even there

Yeah, so she's still a virgin, that statue. What

a great story. God bless America. That guy has

a great story for the rest of his life. It's

only humiliating for like the first month after

it happens. It's just a great story. He gets

to traumatize his grandkids with that story later

in life. Imagine if he met his future wife like

that. I would wager there's no one else better

qualified to give the talk. You know, you can

easily get over your head when you... Wow. So

I don't know how you top a man getting stuck

in a fake vagina. Chuck, but I'm sure you'll

find a way. Well, I have a related story. Stone

penis. There's not like an anus tattoo. You need

to be worried about is there. And Haysha's butthole

and Haysha's butthole. There was a man from Peru.

No, I'm kidding. There's a man in a kayak and

he got attacked by a beaver. The animal beaver

attacks a beaver and chucks a beaver, attacks

a man. That's like a Jeff Foxworthy joke. That's

the first thing I thought of when I saw it. It

was actually a video on CNN. So I kind of have

to go. I don't have the article in front of me.

I kind of have to go on memory. Did he lose his

nipple? No, he didn't. I know that was in the

Jeff Foxworthy story, which sounded way more

painful. Very painful imagery there. This guy

was just, you know. He was at this camp and he's

minding his own business and paddling his kayak

and all of a sudden this beaver just leaps out

of the water, grabs him by the elbow, and just

pulls him out of the kayak into the water. Did

he bite his weenus? The guy went to the hospital

and everything and he got all stitched up and

bandaged up and everything and he was fine, but...

I have never heard of a beaver attacking someone

before. This is absolutely crazy. Wow. Was it

a rabid beaver? I don't think so. I mean, it

was its mouth foaming. No, not that not that

they know. There was some weird guy with like

an afro and a Superman shirt on giving a description

of what happened. Wait, seriously? I felt like

you were going for a really far out there joke.

I couldn't stop giggling long enough to take

seriously what he was saying. He had to see it.

The guy was wearing a ridiculous hat and it just

looked like it was a spoof, but it was for real.

That's really what he was wearing. Wow. But anyway,

I've never heard of a beaver attacking someone.

Usually they'll warn you. They slap their tail

in the water and stuff like that. But I mean

who knows maybe that's where the cartoon show

angry beavers came from Yeah, yeah beavers will

usually warn you if you're coming too close so

And I'll hit you with something or tell you that

they have a headache they just don't want to

get stuck in them That's fair enough Maybe your

story Chuck and my story are connected and really

it's a beavers that are attacking the great white

sharks So all the all these stories One big circle,

guys. That's where we got the name from. Talking

in circles. It's one big conspiracy. Wow. So

interesting. Well, I have another story as well,

and this comes from everyone's favorite state,

Florida. And if you're not on Twitter if you

are on Twitter one thing I advise doing is following

the Twitter account of Florida man Because it's

literally just stories of Florida people doing

crazy things and it's hilarious And it's just

makes you how it makes you realize how crazy

that state is with people So it's honestly worth

just getting on Twitter to follow that account

to see crazy things that happen We're all big

fans of the movie super troopers, right? Yes.

Yes. Well There's a good chance that movie may

not be as ridiculous and out there as we thought.

The headline to this story is... So the basic

gist of this story is that someone, a deputy

police officer, had his friends basically hijack

his police car from him. And then decide to use

it for a little bit of a joyride and then you

know heckle and verbally abuse women as they

cross the street It was rather In crazy that

like kind of happened and apparently there's

a good chance that the deputy was actually in

on it as well. So It's like they were reenacting

the scene from hangover And the thing is like

it they didn't even do that far away from a police

station and people called 911 and they were easily

apprehended so Not a lot of thought was put into

this project So it was just red. I don't think

they were worried about getting caught it. I

don't think they thought that far ahead They

were just like oh, yeah, this would be hilarious.

Let's do it exactly so Kind of insane. I just

would think I just to me I just saw that I'm

like I could see that happening in super troopers

and they are making a sequel to super troopers

So maybe it'll be set in Florida You know why

I pulled you over, meow? Are you saying meow?

Why would you think I was saying meow? Meow.

Chicken fucker. Order a liter cola. Greg? I guess

I'll throw it back to you. Do you have another

story? I do have another story. Apparently I've

got video with this story as well. Shut up, video.

So my next story comes from... Philadelphia Sorry,

it's just a natural reaction here. That's it

and City Jesus Christ Everybody knows what the

favorite food in Philadelphia is right guys tacos

No, they are delicious though Is it complaining

because that's usually the biggest thing in Philadelphia

food Dan food? Cheesesteaks. Yeah, very good

cheesesteak. I got one Well, I think this gentleman

got a little confused because he is called the

Swiss cheese pervert. Apparently he puts... Sorry.

Say no more. He apparently puts cheese on his

member and exposes himself to... Members of the

Philadelphia community Apparently he thinks it's

long enough to be a cheesesteak from the picture

that they show of this man They have a little

star over his junk. I don't know how we can confuse

it with the cheesesteak He needs to order some

extra meat for his sandwich to be fair and he

read to try to eat it once I Don't I don't know

why they called it I think he should use a better

cheese and instead of swiss cheese Because he

can still kind of see it through that kind of

cheese I think he needs to go for more of a an

american cheese or a cheddar cheese I think that's

a little bit more denser to cover to surprise

people when they come up on the car He needs

to make a whiz wit Or use, you know a good pepper

jack, I think though that might be a little spicy

and burn But you know what? I think it's it's

all an accident. I think he was actually Growing

the cheese on his penis. Oh God. Oh Yeah, he

was using his own bacteria culture from that

area to grow his own cheese from under cheese

the first ever natural man -made blue cheese

coming from The Chuck he just wanted as you wanted

his his crabs to have a little cheese on top

Oh God, it's a little bit old bay on there. It's

just delicious. I Feel like no one got my from

under joke My cheese knowledge is very limited

Chuck. I apologize. It's not it's not a real

cheese. It's It's like from under from under

it comes from under ah Nobody wants the cheese

under the balls. I'm so an uptake today Greg

or Chuck Apparently the story went viral after

a philadelphia philadelphia neighborhood watch

group posted a blurry cell phone picture on its

facebook page Thank god. It was blurry. I hope

that's America. It is very blurry and it's got

a star over it You he doesn't look like the most

attractive gentleman ever does it have a star

in it does it say you are here I can see that

the Cinnabon's right around the corner Well in

Philadelphia you could probably give directions

by saying you take a left at the creep with the

cheese on his dick Right at the guy who uses

Who sits on a hoagie bun for a living? I don't

know craziness. So so Swiss cheese bandit, huh?

You know who should have been on that case? the

rescue Rangers Yes, clearly. That might have

been the only mission that they turned down.

You know, Monterey Jack turns down cheese. It's

like, no, I'm alright. That man is just screaming

as Monterey Jack bites his genitals. All right.

Chuck, hopefully you can bring us up from this

one. Wait, we're done with my story now? Why?

Are you done? I need you to have more. No, no,

I'm done. Chuck, what do you got? Thank God.

This one's a little bit more uplifting. Let's

see. I'll read the headline. That'll pretty much

sum it up, but I'll go into a little bit of detail.

But the headline reads, retired U .S. Marine

claims he spent 17 years on Mars. protecting

five human colonies from Martians. That is awesome.

The guy's name... He's going by Captain K. Nobody

really knows his name. Captain O -K. He claims

that he served in a secret space fleet run by

an organization called the Earth Defense Force.

Alright, seems legit so far. Yes. Perfectly.

Makes perfect sense. He claims he spent 17 years

of his career on Mars. He was posted to the Red

Planet to protect five human colonies that were

living there from the native Martian life forms.

And Captain K said he was trained to fly three

different types of space fighters. Well, I mean,

if you're going to go big, go home, right? Yeah,

and three bombers. He he's a well -trained why

wing He apparently played a lot of Star Wars

Battlefront Very high tie fighter simulator right

there. I mean, that's all you need Yeah, and

he claims that uh, his training took place on

a secret moon base called lunar operations Funny

it sounds like it sounds like a bad like Restaurant

or something. I'm sorry. It's lunar operations

command Okay, now it seems legit and it was located

on Saturn's moon Titan, of course Oh didn't know

Thanos which is where Thanos from. Yeah, so that's

kind of weird He also likes to court death This

guy just likes to court bullshit I also love

to live dangerously But anyway, this guy said

he retired after 20 years total for his tour

duty and described a retirement ceremony on the

moon that he claims was presided over by VIPs,

including ex -defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

So if I was making up a story, that's not the

guy that I would say was there. The most unbelievable

part about his story is saying a VIP was Donald

Rumsfeld. I think the VIP should have been H

.G. Wells. It's way more believable or maybe

Tom Cruise. He might be or John Travolta, you

know Arnold Schwarzenegger The twist ending to

the story is that when he comes back to the planet

earth, he then now runs Scientology. So there

you go Yeah, this this guy is clearly out there

but Kind of would like to talk to him. I'm not

gonna lie. That would be a fun interview. At

least it's good. It would I'm hoping he writes

a book about it. Yeah And call it be like two

pages long He did and it'll be Star Wars Wow,

so there you go crazy people gotta love gotta

love it I'm sure he'll run for like office soon

and when so on his Platform of like Titan first

technology. Anyways, I have one quick story here

honestly in like with you Chuck This one is gonna

I just found the headline kind of funny. There's

really not much in the actual story, but it's

just kind of Similar to the Florida man. It's

just again. It doesn't embodies what's crazy

about the state of Florida and this is a headline

to this to this article and basically, it's like

this sums up this guy's life and Really like

one quick sentence man shoots himself bad way

to start the day mix Makes it makes it worse.

This is the first that's the first part of the

of the of the headline second part Man shoots

himself second takes up the whole freaking front

page Exactly. It's weird. It's one big bolded

thing. It's weird man shoots himself Makes false

reports Again, so you shoot yourself, and then

you screw up with your paperwork not a good sign

The killer though the kicker to this story is

still the title no The title is only three parts.

I'm giving you a little in -between between each

part At the end, please say the entire thing

because I'm just fascinated by how long this

fucker is That's what she said So man shoots

himself bad day makes false report even worse

now the kicker twice in one year Yes, oh Kind

of crazy apparently he was trying to he did it

by accident and in order to try to cover it up

He tried to make a report that he was robbed

and it didn't work out very well, and then he

did it again so The entire headline man shoots

himself makes false report twice in one year.

I say his name was Barney Fife No, they don't

get his name. I know they do Peter James Barfiglio

So what if you go yeah i don't feel good yet

yes go way back. He's also known as captain k.

He spent seventeen years on my yeah yeah but

i found that very funny i'm like oh that's just

a really good but. Like a man to himself that

sucks make false report well that's kinda weird

wait twice in one year how do you do that. Alright

so that's all for that sorry greg you anything

else. Yeah, I have a man arrested after allegedly

attempting to sell marijuana to uniformed police

officers. Wait, you said uniformed? Yes, uniforms.

They're in full regalia. Did they smoke it before

they tried to sell it? But this this happened

in your favorite place this podcast Florida.

The trifecta right there happened in Panama City

Florida. Apparently this this guy was a father

and he had his baby in a stroller. So wrong.

He walked up to the vehicle it was an unmarked

vehicle. But it had cops in it that were wearing

their uniforms and. He he asked he asked if they

wanted to buy any a bud for bud from him or twenty

five dollars so he didn't go up to him he went

up to them. He went up to them with the kid two

two month year old toddler. But he left the baby

a distance away, I believe. Hold on, I'm reading.

At least he left the baby alone by himself. Oh,

yeah. Question, did he read this when he while

wearing a World's Best Father T -shirt? Because

that would be amazing. No, it didn't say that.

But the the Parker was strolled next to a vehicle

about 15 to 20 feet away. Wow. Nice. Father of

the Year right there. Yeah, so he's. He's trying

to make money to support the kid and the wife

and everything just happened upon the wrong people

to sell to me how would you know how would he

know how would he know what a police officer

uniform looks like. What i wanna know is like

when you walk up to the car and you start with

hey would you wanna buy some and you see that

it's a cop. How do you still finish that sentence

with marijuana. Girls go cookies you wanna buy

a child and even if you don't know it's like.

A cop car there's a couple like usually if you

see the the four forget the name of the car but

they're very late well known what the cops drive

around in so if you see that make a model. In

black, you know, it's an undercover cop car.

They have a huge antenna coming out the back

their license plate says government and they

just have hubcaps. They don't have full wheels

on the car. So like there's more than just the

hint that they're even in uniform, which is the

biggest freaking hint of all. To be fair, this

guy doesn't seem like the most observant gentleman

that we've seen. No, but. He was given misdemeanor

cannabis charges, but he was charged with felony

for child neglect and the child was given to

his mother and he was taken to jail. Wow. When

did his mother didn't do a good job raising a

kid either? Go out with your daddy, honey, and

go sell marijuana. That's a good boy. The kid's

mother or the guy's mother? The kid's mother.

Okay, the guys mothers in jail for selling heroin

to an FBI agent. So now that we've made Florida

look horrible. To be fair Florida made Florida

look horrible. We're just reporting it. I already

upset the entire South with my horrible Southern

impersonation so. We we have an obligation to

report the wacky news. Sorry people It's what

we've been doing here for an entire podcast.

So we have a long tradition of 30 minutes of

doing it. Yes Chuck do you have any more stories?

No, I'm fresh out of wacky stories. I think all

right Well before we end this episode, we like

to end each episode with a letter I think we

if you listen to the last two episodes we started

this thing called unknown and we're gonna take

a little bit of a break for this week we'll get

back to that shortly don't you worry greg's in

his. Special hidden chamber where he's writing

scripts as we speak so for this week though chuck

you said you have a list in a tiny room with.

Chuck you have a story for this week. Yes, I

don't know if if you guys remember I did a story

a while back using all song titles from 90 songs

and stuff like that organized them into a coherent

story where they all fit in kind of as puns and

stuff and something I like to do from time to

time using different topics and This time we're

gonna do it with different crazy Florida stories,

correct? I probably could there's there seems

like there's enough of them out there I've tried

that again this week, and instead of using song

titles, I'm using band names. Interesting. Please

use Green Day. Please use Green Day. And these

are alternative rock bands. Oh, yes. Craig's

thinking about it like, I think they're alternative.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are alternative. Alternative

to what? Wait. Sorry. So these are some alternative

rock bins from kind of the 90s and 2000s. I'm

totally in all all bunched into a Coherent story

where the words fit in perfectly name of the

story is called What else alternative story?

So here it goes Hi, my name is Remy zero and

I live in the life house. That's three doors

down It's such a crowded house. Sometimes I feel

trapped My favorite thing to do is listen to

my friend pearl jam Her music turns me into an

audio slave She's pretty cool though. She likes

to collect goo -goo dolls, but I don't judge

As long as it doesn't hinder my creed I kind

of love both our reactions to that. Even I can't

stop laughing at this. Sorry, I didn't mean to

- As long as it doesn't hinder my creed, which

is, never let the bright lights make your third

eye blind. Anyway, my day started out rough,

no doubt. This morning, I headed on down to my

volunteer work at the shelter where I foster

the people. And since today was some kind of

National Green Day - Oh! I decided to save some

fuel and walk to work through Lincoln Park. I

was then eating some red hot chili peppers in

the sound garden when some tool suddenly disturbed

me. He and his buddies were attacking me with

nine inch nails. I started to run, but I'm such

a weezer. I quickly got tired and became very

clumsy in my red jumpsuit apparatus. Just then

I was distracted by some bare naked ladies and

fell in a puddle of mud. My clothes were all

stained and I smelled like hoobastank. Of course

I dropped my lucky coin too and I thought I'd

never get that nickel back. Luckily, the police

came just in time. Turns out it was the notorious

Foo Fighters gang. Yes. What a bunch of all -American

rejects. The cops promptly arrested the guys

and said they would probably be sentenced to

five for fighting. One of them even confessed

to everything. He must have been the fallout

boy. He wanted a three days grace before he went

to jail, but the cop said you're lucky we don't

get the bloodhound gang after you Wow, I forgot

about them One officer told me that he was about

my age when he heard the calling and became a

cop Maybe this will change my vertical horizon.

I know this sounds like a dashboard confessional

But what can I say? This is the nirvana that

is my life. The end. Very nice. Owl clap. That

was impressive. I'm not going to lie. I threw

my bra up on stage. Nice. I don't see it. Where

is it? It's right at your feet there. It's a

monk's, it's a polka dotted one. Nice. It's the

one with all the hair in it. That was a low blow.

Sorry, Greg, I apologize. Oh, wow. Is it the

one covered in Swiss cheese? No, it doesn't have

any cheese on it. Saving that for later, damn

it. It says made in Florida. It was in Philadelphia.

All right, anything else before we bring this

episode to a close? I think we've done enough

damage. Indeed, we've bashed Florida and European

countries too much. We are true Americans, what

can we say? There's actually a lot of ways to

get in contact with us if you want to comment

on the episode or what have you. If you have

different ideas you'd like us to tackle, or if

you have a strange new story you'd like us to

talk about one day, you can send us an email.

Just send it to feedback at geecastradio .com.

We're on Twitter and - I'm a Watson, that's where

you keep getting in touch with me. Yes, Emma

Watson. That's where you can get in touch with

Greg I'm just waiting for the fake email address

of Emma Watson at like 888 at gmail .com so It's

a good way to get mentioned on the show cuz you

know, we talk about Then my pants would explode

Yeah, that's an image. I never gonna get out

of my head Run Facebook and Twitter just search

talking in circles Probably the best way to comment

though is by going to either GeekHouseRadio .com

or to Nerdly and commenting on the episode posts.

We're there and trying to give comments back,

so... Alright, so that'll bring us to the end

of this episode. Remember to join us next week,

same time, same channel, same podcast speed.

But for now, this has been Chuck. This has been

Greg, or Captain K. And this has been Dan, and

we've been... Talking in circles. We'll see you

next week. Sounds like Jim Carrey trying to do

that. Oh, righty then. As he comes out of the

anus. He should have been the one stuck in it.

Mommy was the main thing.