Pirates vs. Ninjas Debate

This child would be the great white ninja of

the legend We were very wrong Hello and welcome

to episode... I'm your host, Optimus Solo, and

joining me for this war is Movie Revolt Dan.

Hello. How's it going? Now, which wars episodes

have you done? Any? No, this is my first one.

Oh, so we have everybody making their debut on

this one. I couldn't remember if you had snuck

into, like, the Lethal Weapon Die Hard or anything

like that. So, also making their war debut is

Adolfo Chabidou. Hello, Nate. Hello. And Frizzy

Cent. Hello, Matt. Hey there, buddy. I like how

you're choosing your own name and then saying

hello to a different name. So yeah, this is the

first Wars for all these guys, and for everybody

listening, you're probably thinking, holy crap,

they're actually doing a GCN Wars episode, because

it's been a long, long time since the last one.

I think at least a year and some odd change,

maybe. Maybe longer. But don't fret, they're

actually, for people who like Wars, there's going

to be a bunch of stuff coming at you here. Real

quickly, we're going to have... Three episodes

of wars, including this one here, and a new wars

tournament, all coming to you before the first

snow falls. Except for those of you that live

in Antarctica, because I guess there is no first

snowfall there. So we will have lots of wars

coming in the next couple months, so if you like

this type of stuff, stay tuned, and hopefully

there will be some topics that you can get into.

Today, however, we're going to be tackling an

interesting, and apparently more common than

I thought, geek argument. and that is, who is

ultimately better? Pirates? When you marooned

me on that godforsaken spit of land, you forgot

one very important thing, mate. I'm Captain Jack

Sparrow. Why should I sail with any of you? Four

of you have tried to kill me in the past, one

of you succeeded. You are without doubt the worst

pirate I've ever heard of. But you have heard

of me. I confess. It is my intention to commandeer

one of these ships, pick up a crew and tour to,

garade, pillage, plunder, and otherwise, build

from our weasley black guts out. I said no lies!

I think he's telling the truth. If he were telling

the truth, he wouldn't have told us. Unless,

of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth,

even if he told it to you. Hide the rum. Shoot

him and cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue,

and trim that scraggly beard. If we don't have

the key, we can't open whatever it is we don't

have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be

served in finding whatever need be unlocked,

which we don't have, without first having found

the key? Well, no sense. So we're going after

this key? You're not making any sense at all.

Or ninjas. You must never stop practicing the

art of ninja. The art of invisibility. Anchovies,

and I mean no anchovies. You put anchovies on

this thing and you're in big trouble, okay? I

can't let you know. Uh -uh, thou do, and the

clock's ticking, dude. I am sure you would like

to know who I am and what I do. But as part of

my creed, I cannot tell you. You see, my identity

must remain mysterious and my mission secret.

I cannot reveal it to you. Why not? Because I

would then have to kill you. Daddy! What'd you

say to my kid? I was merely relating to the child

the importance of - You're not to spare, Sally

Jones. I will be ever vigilant. I will be watching

your every move, making sure that as the... Do

not be afraid, my dove. Before we get into the

categories, we're gonna have 15 categories that

will break down and we'll each cast votes on

who we think wins in each category and we'll

have a final winner at the end. But before we

get into all that, initial thoughts when you

hear the idea of pirates against ninjas. Dan...

What's your initial thought going into this thing?

My initial thought is going with ninjas just

because I don't know. I think ninjas are necessarily

cooler. I don't know. They have that sneaky capability.

You always hear people call the ninja. I feel

like a pirate is almost like a put down. I don't

know. So my initial thought is ninjas, maybe

because I like martial arts movies. Could be.

Personally, I don't know. like both for their

own reasons. So I'm interested to see as we go

through here what kind of things I decide. I

haven't predetermined my votes. I have ideas,

but I'll listen to everybody's arguments and

discussion and kind of go from there. So I'm

kind of on the fence. I like both topics here.

What about you, Matt? Well, when I hear, you

know, you said specifically what you think of

when you hear pirates and ninjas or pirates versus

ninjas, I immediately go to the Antarctic Press

comic book series, Pirates versus Ninjas. Oh

yeah, I remember that. I have read almost every

issue of that. If they've since published more

in the last few years, I haven't read those.

But they have. I bet they have. I've read a lot

of those, maybe like a dozen, I think. So, you

know, I already have seen some pirates versus

ninjas action. Beyond just you know the geek

culture or whatever discussions, so that's where

I go Mate I know you're a pirate fan. I am a

pirate fan. I Hate the I don't like baseball

Yeah, but no I am a fan of You know old -time

pirates because there's so much fun to look at

and the laugh at and they're hilarious What about

the football team the buccaneers they they? our

footballs. Okay. Nate is not a sports fan. Did

you guys know that this was such a, I guess,

common thing in geek culture, the whole pirates

versus ninja debate? Because I don't know. I

mean, you guys might not have found it because

you weren't doing the research, I guess, for

you to find all the categories. I think they

probably had a full episode of Big Bang about

this. I mean, it's everywhere. There's multiple

websites that have this. There's forums and discussion

boards that debate this topic. Why do you think

it's these two pairing together that seems to

be such a common topic of debate amongst geek

circles? Have you ever seen that show, Ultimate

Warrior? It's like on the history channel and

not like like TV like the world's greatest. Oh,

yeah I know what yeah, yeah, they just pit too.

I've seen that episode. I'm pretty sure they

did this This is like the only episode I've seen

was the Pirates vs. Ninja one So I I guess not

to sound like belligerent, but it's like yeah.

Yeah, I knew all about this Yeah, I've been seeing

all of the media for it for years. Like I said,

I read the comics I've seen that episode. Yeah

Well, initially, we were coming up with ideas

because we had been doing a bunch of franchises

or different shows and movies against each other.

Obviously, we've done Thundercats versus Silverhawks.

We did Die Hard versus Lethal Weapon, and we

did Star Trek versus Star Wars. I was trying

to come up with some more general stuff, and

I had the idea of just pitting different types

of people or different groups, whether it be

real people or fake people or fictional, et cetera.

I had pirates and ninjas and... I'm trying to

think of some of the other stuff like vampires,

zombies. I had a whole list of probably 12 different

things. We could just pit some of these against

each other. Dude, vampires and zombies would

not even be... That's not even cool. And on Express

I actually did vampires versus yetis. But I had

just all kinds of different just generic Groupings

and I don't know. I didn't I didn't look at anything

first I just like came up with a little let's

do Pirates vs. Ninjas first Not knowing that

apparently this is just a common loaded one Yeah

Dan, were you aware that this was such a common

debate topic? I guess I was ignorant on the holy

war that was ninjas and pirates No, I mean I

guess I would assume people would say it jokingly,

but I guess it wasn't as intense as I, as apparently

that it is. And there was comic books and whatnot,

but I guess it makes sense. You know, they're

kind of around the same time. They both have

a pretty big legacy. They're, they're both like

that anti -hero. Sometimes they're the hero,

sometimes they're the villain. So, and they're

so vastly different with their different categories

that we get into. So I can kind of see where

it's coming from, but now I was ignorant to the

hype that is pirates versus ninjas. All right,

I'm glad I'm not alone Go back to when you said

vampires versus zombies because I know a comic

book that's actually vampires versus zombies

Called black it's called I believe anything that's

not a comic book This that we're doing right

now, but I'll start drawing it as soon as we're

done recording drawing it But uh, like, the thing

was called Last Blood and the idea was zombies

had taken over the world and humans were down

to like 200 people or whatever. So the vampires

who needed the human's blood to survive then

made like a community where they were the protectors

of the humans versus the zombie apocalypse. So

that's the vampire versus zombies. That's pretty

cool. It was a really cool comic. It was a good

idea. Yeah. I like it. I'm trying to think of,

because I only came up with the undead, I guess,

with the zombies and the vampires. But I'm trying

to remember what other types of groupings. I'll

have to dig up that sheet sometime and see what

else I was thinking of putting against each other.

All right, any other comments before we get into

the first category? No? All right, well, the

first category today. Let the games begin here.

Remember pirates versus ninjas and the first

thing we're looking at are the Clothing or the

uniforms of these two groups of people Matt you're

a good descriptor describe Ninja uniform or a

pirate uniform. What do we got here? Well, I

think we all know ninja uniform is pretty pretty

standard black Like it's head -to -toe black

you see the eyes uh... maybe see the feet if

they have baird feet uh... that you know depends

from i'm sure clan to clan or however you want

to look at it uh... or terrain maybe or maybe

the terrain like a a good desert or a jungle

ninja would net would need shoes more than like

a city ninja might yeah um... there's a ninja

i don't know if that actually ever happens that'd

be awesome write it Like, maybe gloved or ungloved

hands, depending on what they're dealing with.

But yeah, just black. If they were a desert ninja,

I don't think the black would work so well. You

would say that, and then they'd be a ninja. And

he'd be like, oh yeah, ninja. You tell a ninja

what doesn't work and see how well it goes. Actually,

the Ask a Ninja Ninja from the old web series

says that ninjas are the only people who can

wear true black. Like, every other black you

see in the world is really dark blues, really

dark purples, and ninjas are the only ones who

have harnessed true blackness. Isn't it like

dragon's blood? It's dragon's heart. So that

was Samuel L. Jackson. What about the pirate

uniform? Pirate uniform is very colorful, and

it's really just whatever you find. It's like,

oh, we raided a ship. That guy has a cool hat.

I'll take it. And it's like, oh, I like that

lady's bandana. I'll tie that around my hat.

I like that coat. Yeah. It's literally just piecemeal,

whatever you find. Doesn't have to match. They

don't have social, as far as I know, stratification.

Like, oh, he's got a nice bandana. It's you know

wear what you want wear what's functional wear

what you like? You know usually show off your

show off your caps I mean yeah, there's a lot

of times. They have a shorter pants and then

they have fancy or silly socks I have some pirate

socks that are like black and red stripes. Oh,

yeah. Yeah, I love the stripes They oftentimes

have hats like you know you'll see like a tricorn

hat very commonly sometimes you'll see the Admiral

hat style where it's but it's sideways with like

a Jolly Rogers right in the middle. Yeah. Um,

so you see a lot of different hat styles Sometimes

it's just like a bandana Yeah, sometimes they'll

be wearing a bandana and they're like like knee

-cut pants shorts and then that's it Yep, we

got no shirt and they're just like super buff

because they're fucking strong So there's probably

multiple ways. to look at this category. I guess

you could look at it as just in general who has

the cooler uniform in your eyes. You could look

at it as which uniform would you rather be wearing?

When I originally crafted it, it was who would

make the better Halloween costume? As a kid,

would you rather be a ninja or a pirate for Halloween?

But I guess there's multiple ways of looking

at it. Dan, when you think about the traditional

uniforms of a ninja or a pirate, how do you break

it down? Well, I think the ninja definitely has

practicality to it. It's a lot easier to dress

up as a ninja than it is a pirate. There's actually

a pretty good Reddit meme that was going around

like how to dress up as Sub -Zero from Mortal

Kombat and literally it's just getting a pair

of jeans and a belt and you're like halfway there.

So I think ninjas are certainly easier to dress

like, but I think you gotta give it to pirates

just because of the variety of different costumes.

Ninjas are purposely all kind of monochromatic,

they're all the same, there's not that much difference,

but with pirates, it's like a... you know, a

feast of different uniforms and craziness going

on. Plus, I don't know if it counts as part of

the uniform, but they do have those killer beards.

And I assume it's essential when it comes to

being a pirate. So I think in that end, just

because of variety, I'd go with pirates. Nate,

if you're looking at specifically you dressing

as each one of these individuals or each one

of these groups, I guess, what are the annoying

things about their uniforms? What are the bad?

What are the drawbacks from either side? Well,

I've dressed as a pirate, I've dressed as a ninja,

and I like to say probably the pirate costume

is a bit hotter, because it's more involved,

although you can take articles off because, you

know, you just don't have to wear a shirt, but,

you know, I like to wear a shirt because no one

wants to see that. And then ninjas are boring.

They got, like, I don't know. I don't like it.

I always found, for Halloween, whenever it wasn't

necessarily a ninja costume, but whenever I had

something that was all over the face, over the

head, that was somewhat annoying to me. Although

I love my pirate hat. It's amazing. No, I'm not

talking about the pirate hat specifically. I'm

talking about the mask of a ninja. Covering the

nose, covering your mouth, and basically insulating

your entire head. Yeah, because then you breathe

in and fall. It gets warm. I don't know. You

feel cooler. You're actually hotter. I don't

know if any of you guys wear glasses, but anything

that covers the mouth and nose immediately blinds

me because it fogs them up. Yep. Good point.

Ninjas don't wear glasses because they're ninjas.

They need 2020. Pirates don't even have like

one eye. Yeah, that's true. There you go. They're

at 20 slash. uh... math how do you break down

and who do you go within as far as traditional

uniforms which which has the coolest uniform

set up you know i will i like like dan said the

practicality of the ninja outfit if you're hiding

shadows you want to be all black uh... and i

i like the variety of the pirate uniform being

able to be just whatever you want but uh... i

think i was i think i was really on the fence

until the the mask breathing situation came up

and it's like yeah i can't be a ninja well i

mean you got the beard Like, I do also have a

very, like, Fridbeard the Pirate. Yeah. Like,

I think if I wanted to, I could become a pirate.

I don't think I could ever become a ninja where

I'm sitting right now. Oh, you could easily.

I could... Makeover! I'm not talking about just

wearing the costume. But, yeah, so I like, I

don't know. Like, I'm not a very flamboyant guy,

so like, being like, I like the pirate's colorfulness.

Seems a little odd to me, but I mean, I do. I

like it. Alright. Nate, what about you? I mean,

I think I know where you're going with this one,

but... You've worn them both. Yeah, I enjoyed

wearing the pirate costume more. But no, it's

way cooler. They have way better, way more stuff

you can do in terms of like character design

if you want to talk about fiction. Like... there's

so much more variety than like what you would

think a ninja and like i've seen uh the the problem

with like uh like changing up ninja's character

design it's like they then they cease to be a

ninja because you're adding in a bunch of stuff

that they don't need like like ninja gaiden it's

starting to get ridiculous like ryu hayabusa

has like these big ass arms and then he just

like lets out and like you can see his big old

fleshy arms and it's like a ninja would cover

that up like what what are you doing So Nate's

getting a little off topic. I have a lot of rebuttals,

but I don't want to get in a wash in the uniform

section when it should be more of a later media

section. And then I lost what I was going to

say. Oh, Nate and I once wore ninja costumes,

just pulled them out of our closet like Dan was

saying. It's really easy. Get a black shirt.

Black t -shirt. Yeah, that's all you need. Boom,

you're a ninja. See, from a comfort level. It's

for me. It's it's ninja as far as the comfort.

I don't know man. Some of those like loose fitting

pants Well, I mean it doesn't seem like there's

too much of like a criteria on I mean it seems

like Even though there's not a lot of wiggle

room on a ninja uniform As far as looseness or

tightness of like the pant and shirt combination.

It seems like there might be a little wiggle

room like As long as it's black and it looks

like sleek and whatnot, I guess I mean You could

probably get a little comfier ones or a little

tighter ones if you wanted to, if that was your

style. I know the mask... It has the resemblance

of some type of pajama outfit with a mask and

a belt. That's true. Pajamas are comfortable.

Yeah, so that's comfortable it looks like it's

easy to slip into and slip out of or whatever

I mean Yeah, then the mask would be somewhat

annoying to breathe in and out Over time, but

there's a lot of things that would get me as

far as a pirate uniform goes I don't wear hats

like I Just don't wear hats. I can't stand wearing

hats. So I would rather have a mask on than a

pirate hat The one thing that makes me shy away

from the ninjas is I don't know if I could survive

without shoes My bare feet don't do very well

on their own. A lot of them have like foot wrappings

and stuff. Like there are protections for your

shoes that are ninja. So I would be like the

pansy ninja with like a foot taped up. The thing

is, if you were a ninja you would be training

your whole life so you wouldn't have foot problems.

Alright, and then you've taken away the only

barrier for my ninja. And no one's gonna be like,

oh look at that ninja wearing shoes. That's the

last thing that guy ever says. No, it's like,

look at that, oh, where'd he go? So just for

the fact that I don't want to wear hats and I

don't want to wear 16 layers of stuff that the

pirates seem to wear a lot of the times, for

comfortability, I'm going to be the one dissenting

vote and go with ninjas on this one so there's

not a clear sweep. So three pirate votes and

one ninja vote for the first category, the traditional

uniforms. Sticking with the whole traditional

theme here moving into the second category Ninjas

and pirates now thinking about the traditional

weapons Matt well you did the first category

so Nate what kind of weapons do we have on each

side? Well for the You got your your swords for

the ninjas you got Swords and shurikens and some

other stuff that looks cool bow and arrow what

count drops. What is that? Those are like, they're

like little things that you drop on the ground,

people step on them, they... Oh yeah, they're

like jacks, but they hurt more. Yeah. Usually

you got like some kind of smoke grenade or something

like that. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Poison.

Oh yeah, poison. That is the weapon of the ninja.

Alright. And the favorite of all the kids would

be which one? Come on, everybody wanted these

when we were kids. Shurikens? Is that what the

throwing stars are? Yeah. Yep. And what kind

of weapons do you have for pirates? Pirates are

interesting because they just, you know, they

steal so they grab whatever they can find. But,

you know, generally you get like a one -shot

little gun. I don't even know what they're called.

Funtlock pistol. Sometimes they have like a blunderbuss.

Blunderbuss, very common pyro weapon. And then

you got like swords like scimitars and rapiers

and... Cutlass? Cutlass, yep. Oh, flucanons.

Oh, yeah, all the naval combat. They got, yeah,

cannons and, I don't know, rope, if you want

to count that. So if you take the actual ninja

and pirate out of the equation, as far as their

personal fighting skills and this, that, or the

other, if you're going into a battle and you

get to select either one group's weapons or the

other group's weapons, Dan, how do you decide

and which one do you think you have a better

chance of using? I guess I'd go with the ninjas

because there's again kind of like the opposite

with the last one They definitely have more variety

I think most of the power weapons are kind of

just designed for close combat dirt mean They

do have the muskets, but they're mostly one -shot

muskets. So yeah, that's a little you know That's

not your best defensive weapon. Plus you're not

very accurate though I mean cannons are pretty

tough, but I think just the variety of the ninja

weapons and they're just simply cooler I mean,

I think a little bit more badass. I disagree

I mean you can't it's hard to beat a ninja star.

I mean come on and First of all, you don't know

when it's thrown at you and you're not gonna

hear it coming And then all of a sudden yours

has been hit by a ninja star. What do you do?

And it's probably poisoned so you don't even

get to react. Yeah, I Just think I don't know

if you guys saw this but based upon the South

Park episode alone when they're playing with

ninja weapons I think that just shows you how

awesome ninja weapons can be so I'm gonna I feel

like ninja weapons are just cooler more practical

and just If you put them on a table and you're

going to play with them, I think Ninja Weapons

would just be fun to play with. I mean, they

have claws that look like Wolverine. That's just

kind of cool. Ninja Weapons you have more of

a chance of playing with and hurting yourself.

I don't know how legit it is, but the claws that

you mentioned are oftentimes shown both as weapons

and as climbing tools. So they've got practicality

behind that. Nice. You know, I wanna say pirates

because I love the blunderbuss. And the blunderbuss

is the perfect pirate weapon because it was usually

loaded where you'd like, you'd show a bunch of

gunpowder in there and then you'd throw whatever

you had on it into it. You'd be like, pack some

glass into there, you know, any scrap metal.

And you would just, because it would just, you

know, be like a shotgun spray and it'd just do

what it needs to do. But as much as I love that

weapon, I think Dan's got a good point in how

just... uh... more varying the ninjas weapons

are and how useful it is to have like a poison

the poison darts from a double o' gunner of a

poison shuriken or poison caltrops are like all

i don't even know if they have been already killed

me uh... i i think too if if one of us was to

go in with absolutely no fighting skills whatsoever

uh... not speaking for all of you guys i guess

but me personally i don't think i'm too skilled

in the whole fighting arena uh... and if i'm

going a bunch of the stuff and not really being

too knowledgeable about it, I still think the

ninja weapons are going to help me out more.

I'm going to be like, oh, this is a little smoke

bomb. I think I can help myself distract someone

because I can't really fight. And then I can

throw the star at them and stuff like that where

the guns are the pirate series and I'm more likely

to probably have a backfire or load it wrong

or do something to mess myself up. And then I'm

just stuck with the sword and then I'm going

against other swords that the ninja is going

to have. and that i don't trust my sword fighting

ability so just for a lack of fighting ability

i think i would stand better chance with ninja

weapons of somehow coming out with a win uh...

but made i think you're going to be the dissenting

dissenting opinion here what is your argument

for the pirate weapons uh... for the pirate well

let's let me start the way i want to start because

you can't show your ninja agenda down my throat

uh... listen No, I'm just kidding. Pirates are

awesome. Ninjas have way better tools for killing

because that is what they're meant to do. That's

all they do. They kill. That's like they're born

to kill. And they steal. Yeah, I guess they steal.

Eh, sometimes. But they're like designed to kill.

Pirates are designed to be having a good time

all the time. No misery in a pirate ship. No

misery, ever. Not in my pirate ship. That's a

different category. So, I don't know. Like, I

don't want to base it on who has the best killing

machines, because obviously Ninja's gonna win

that. But pirates, like, have you ever seen a

pirate sword battle? It's a beautiful thing.

Have you ever seen a ninja do anything? No. Because

he's a ninja. That's right. Yeah. And no one

cares. It's a beautiful thing. Because what's

more fun, watching awesome swashbuckles buckling

or watching ninjas just being like, I don't know,

kill. I don't know. That scene in Turtles where

they're training and then you can't see them

all and then all of a sudden everything's destroyed

or what were they doing? They were taking the

jingle bell things off without rattling any of

the jingle bells. That was pretty cool to watch.

Just saying. Nate does have a good point. Seeing

some people buckle swash is really cool. That's

what really sells those Pirates of the Caribbean

movies. Like Jack Sparrow being a silly, slapping

swords kind of guy. Now all I want to do is watch

really, really classic 60's movies about pirates.

That's all I want to do right now. But anyway,

go on Matt. And one thing that can be said is

pirates have a siege weapon in cannons and ninjas

don't have anything that large -scale. Yeah.

Well, don't they have, um... No, those are like

fireworks, Chinese fireworks. Never mind. Chinese

fireworks. Well, no, yeah. I mean, like, there

was gunpowder over in the east before in the

west. But they didn't use it properly. I can't

say I'm not a history major, nor was I ever in

that time. You know, you see games like Tenchu,

Wrath of Heaven, and they do use it as a weapon.

So, I mean, I can't say one way or the other.

I haven't played enough ninja games. I've played

a lot of both games, I like to say. But yeah,

I mean, there are things to be said about the

Pyre weapons, few though they may be. I would

much rather get hit with a poison dart in the

neck and just die than get shot with a blunderbuss.

any day yeah so Nate was your official vote for

pirates on this one no it wasn't yeah of course

all right so keeping it from a clean sweep we

have another three to one match up here. Going

into the third category we always seem to have

something that seems like something silly to

compare. Like TV show logos or movie posters

or something like that. So our third category

stays with that tradition here. Who has the better

symbol? The pirate symbol of the skull and crossbones

or the different ninja symbols which you've seen

like... yin and yang symbols, or what looks like

a throwing star symbol. We'll have these in the

episode post. But who's got the more, I don't

know, what do you want in a symbol? Do you want

something that looks cool? Do you want something

that intimidates people? What makes a good symbol,

Matt? All of those things you've just listed

are pirate things. Like pirate symbols look cool,

pirate symbols intimidate, pirate symbols have

suffused the culture. What, what? everyone knows

like you say hey like pirate flag you know he's

flying his pirate flag everybody knows what you're

talking about you say you say you say ninja symbol

and you're like what does that they have like

like that's like clan symbol like a black yeah

it's black black black on it with like a smiley

face but you can't see it yeah you know you know

you've got these pictures here and it's like

yeah Like, you'd be like, hey, what symbol would

you associate this with? I'd be like, that'd

be a ninja. I could see a ninja wearing that,

totally. But it doesn't have the cultural backing

that the Jolly Roger has. Does anybody have a

favorite version? Because there's so many different

skull and crossbones. You have, like, the ones

we have pictured, just a skull with actual bones.

You have a skull with somebody holding swords.

You have the skull with the eye patch. You have

different faces on the skulls. You have... lots

of variations does anybody have a favorite pirate

symbol? I like the crossbones, no eyepatch. I

imagine that was what was there originally. I

imagine the eyepatch came from modern re -reviewing

and so I think I like the traditional one that

I would imagine more. They also do a lot of different

things with the skulls, different looks on the

skull's face. laughing more humorous ones or

more serious ones but I agree something about

that pirate flag and when it goes up on a ship

and you know it's been taken over by pirates

or something like that like as you would see

in like a traditional movie is a it's quite the

scene Dan is this an easy one slam dunk for pirates

oh yeah definitely I mean if you asked me before

this make a pirate symbol I'm a ninja symbol

I'd be like I don't even know what that would

be so I mean pirates Logos far more in the popular,

you know lexicon and whatnot. Plus, I mean we

have sports teams that have The pirate symbol

there's no sports teams with a ninja symbol I

think even in like Japan or China. So I think

you gotta go with pirates It's just it's just

badass and you know a skull or with crossbones

or a skull with sabers. It's can't really beat

that Alright, I think we're all in agreement

then that that will be a clean sweep of the symbols

going towards the pirate direction. I want one

more comment, actually, because the pirate flag

actually had a legal meaning and stuff. I've

researched this, Nate and I have a podcast where

we write short stories. I was writing a story

on pirates a few weeks ago and I was looking

up the flag and apparently There was no law saying

what flag you could or couldn't have waving,

but there were laws about what flag you were

waving when you attacked another vessel, and

so pirates would have to, like, say they see

a Portuguese ship, they'd fly a Portuguese flag,

get up beside it, and they'd be like, these guys

are our buddies. And then they'd have to hoist

the pirate flag before they attacked for it to

be like an illegal attack, or a legal attack.

Otherwise, if they didn't hoist the pirate flag,

the Portuguese Empire would have more legal claim

to hunt them down and would actually hunt them

down more if they didn't, if they actually attacked

with a Portuguese flag than with a pirate flag.

Just as a little bit of history for you. History

lesson here on GCRN Wars. I like it. The fourth

category is going to be a little bit different.

We're moving away from just the weaponry and

the uniforms and the symbols, et cetera, but

still looking at kind of a traditional view of

ninjas and pirates. And the fourth category would

be traditional personality traits of a ninja

or of a pirate. Now obviously there's going to

be way more than what I have listed here or what

I'm about to say, but these are just kind of

some common... personality traits that you think

of when you think of ninjas and pirates. So like

a ninja, you know, they're going to be silent,

they're going to be intelligent, they're going

to be calm at all times, they're respectful,

but at the same time, they're very sneaky, they're

deadly, and they're pretty resourceful. And we

can name some more that you guys might want to

throw in there as well to help your argument

on one side or the other. You know, pirates are

rogue, they're adventurous, they're intimidating,

they're greedy, sometimes mean -spirited. A lot

of times, the most known pirates have a leadership

quality to them. A lot of them can be charismatic.

What other things do you think of when you think

of a ninja or pirate? Some other traits that

I'm forgetting, Nate or Matt or Dan, anybody.

What else do you think of when you think of one

of these groups? I want to make some amendments,

because I don't think of ninjas as being respectful.

I think they're like the opposite side of the

coin to samurai. who have an honor code, they're

like Samurai who don't have an honor code. So

I would think of them as less respectful. But

let's go into the resourceful of ninjas. I think

that's the interesting one. Because you think

of a ninja, he's always got these tools, right?

He's got, you know, he's got like a breathing

apparatus because he can go underwater, and he's

got these climbing tools, and he's got his poisons.

Like, you think, like that's a lot of resources.

But I don't know if they're as resourceful, because

the pirates have to make by with what they find.

They have to be resourceful to survive. The ninjas

have their resources that are given to them,

they have all these tools and equipment, while

the pirates have to have the resourceful qualities

of being able to survive on the seas, where they

don't know where their next meal is going to

come from, they don't know where they're going

to get supplies. resourceful is a good one for

the pirates, is that a better trait than some

of the other traits that the ninjas would have?

If you're looking at some of their other, whether

it be the sneaky or the silent killer, the intelligence

as far as being undetected and deadly. Compare

some of the other traits against each other and

which ones are which ones are out of all the

Traits that we've talked about so far What would

be the most important like if you could only

have one of these traits? What's the best trait

to have I? Guess it depends on what you're looking

for but I guess to add one to like the ninjas

is one thing they would definitely as a trait

just be You know well trained and well versed

I mean their their dedication is pretty intense

and just because of being a ninja We talked about

how they're always And that may be not resourceful,

but they are good planners and they kind of are

tactical in the way they work. So I think that

is a key. And I guess, like I said, it depends

on what you're looking for. If you're looking

for the job to get done, I think the qualities

of a ninja outweigh that of a pirate. But if

you're looking to have a good time. Probably

gonna go with the pirate because of the charismatic

You know the pirate ship is probably just gonna

be a blasting hang out hang out with plus You

can probably add as a trait to pirates being

drunk. I mean, that's a good trait so I think

you're right though ninjas is definitely more

of a commitment as far as that it like a lifelong

dedication to to that as a role. I mean, I guess

at some point you're physically not able to carry

that out. We always hear more about like in movies

or stories or whatever, like a pirate that eventually

like retires or goes off and does something else

or, you know, retires from the pirate life. You

don't really hear that about ninjas because I

guess none of them live past a certain age. I

don't know how that works. I imagine once you

hit like 40 year old ninja. The ninjas just put

you down. They're like, this one's not useful

anymore. Or else you train other ninjas. The

pirate thing is always like, you're looking for

the one big score, bury it somewhere, get rid

of your crew, and then live life. That's always

the pirate dream. And again, from my research

I did on pirates just a little bit ago, most

pirates, a lot of pirates, didn't go, you know

what? I'm gonna go be a pirate. You know, I love

grog, I love sailing, I'm gonna go do that. It's

always like, oh shoot, I just lost my job, I

don't got anything, no one's gonna back me up.

Rather than becoming a hobo, I'll just go find

a ship and live on it. A sea hobo. They're like

sea hobos, which I don't think is a positive

quality. Nate, what's the best trait on this

list? Um, adventurous. I like that. Yeah, clearly

like pirates is about adventure Like they go

off and they seek things and they find treasure

and it's it's a super fun time and everyone loves

it especially me Matt if you could take the pirates

and the ninjas out of the equation again, and

you You yourself could embody one group of traits

or the others like what would you rather be would

you rather be? Someone that has the traits of

a ninja or the traits of a pirate Well, you look

at the traits of the ninja right and you're thinking

like, you know calculating and quiet and Boring

and nobody And they look at the traits of the

pirate. It's like Han Solo. Yeah, these are Han

Solo's traits Yeah, adventurous rogue greedy

and charismatic. Those are Han Solo traits. Is

Han Solo intimidating? Yeah. Yes. Do you remember

the scene where he alone chases away ten stormtroopers?

No I mean, yeah. And not all of those would apply

to every single pirate, obviously. No, yeah,

of course not. But I mean, like, Han Solo's got

the lion's share of those traits, and he is one

of the coolest guys in pop culture. He needs

a better beard. I don't think he does. All right,

fine. Also, he grows one when Chewbacca dies,

but I guess that never happened, so. Oh. Who

can pull off? Because Dan brought up a good point

at the beginning, and I don't think it's something

that we would necessarily get to in... most of

the other categories that we're going to look

at, but if you're looking at the whole good versus

bad, because he said, you know, these two both

can be seen as both a hero and an anti -hero,

you know, villain, etc. You know, you can view

each as some good guys or some bad guys. Who

has the easier time of pulling off with their

set of traits, the good role, or who has an easier

time of being the bad role? Probably ninjas for

the good roll Well, I don't know it's hard cuz

like pirates or or is there a great line or do

you view one is just bad? No, it's just a fight.

There's You know what? Um ninjas being like quiet

calm deadly and calculated instantly makes them

look bad because their Strength is striking from

you not knowing right? So like that's not a heroic

trait. No attacks on it from behind. There you

go So I, you know, it doesn't seem like a good

- But that said, like a ninja can be a ninja

at night, and then he can be a regular dude during

the day. Like Batman! Like Batman. Um, like a

pirate can't shut that pirate off. He can't,

he can't be all like - He can't just like comb

his hair and be like - Oh man. I had so much

rum yesterday, I better shave this beard and

go back to my mundane work job and then a pirate

again tonight. Arrr. Not gonna happen. I sold

the account into the - Arrr. It didn't work,

I've seen dodgeball. Right. Arrr. Alright, so...

What other things would you... Does anybody want

to bring up anything, or is anybody ready to

vote in this category? I guess you're gonna go

on a car trip. Like, which person would you want

to be next to that's someone with the traits

of a... Well, pirates probably smell like shit.

Yeah! It'll be just like the house I'm sitting

in. Oh, man. But if you make a wrong turn, a

ninja might kill you, you know. You'll have the

plan calculated because that's what he's done

True He'll be a great navigator. Yeah, they'll

be sitting there quiet I think a pirate would

probably be a better navigator. Whoa, really?

That's actually probably true. That's what they

do. Yeah, can't see the stars in my car. I don't

have a mood for it Hey, oh never mind. Just get

a GPF that allows you to go by stars. He'd use

his cannon and blow a hole in the top of your

car Sunroof instantly. I feel like there'll be

an easier way to do that. Well, a ninja would

just cut it into pieces. I'd watch this cartoon.

Ninja pirate road trip. I'd watch this live action

remake 20 years later. So Nate, you're going

to go with the ninjas for the first time on this

one? Yes. Wow. No, no, I'm kidding. Pirates,

dude. Matt, what do you think? What sways it

one way or the other? I'm gonna go, I wanna go

with pirates just for the Han Solo factor. I

mean removing entirely the, you know like removing

ninjas and pirates from it and what goes with

it just looking at the traits. I like the pirate

traits more. Real quick, the thing I wanted to

mention though is along with the adventurous

thing, there's a certain amount of like exploration

that I love about pirates. Like they're finding

new stuff and like exploring their what like

they don't know about and ninjas are more just

like assassins that aren't whatever but yeah

I just love the exploration aspect of pirates

I personally oh man this is a tough one because

I get the Han Solo argument and that's a good

argument but like I don't know I know ninjas

aren't good necessarily all the time but I would

rather have those qualities than the pirate's

qualities because I'm not Mr.. Fun like I don't

need to be adventurous and All that no you don't

need to but you will with Like I don't want to

be a drunk greedy I Don't know dude doubloons.

Yeah, what about the doubloons? Yeah Don't know

I'd rather embody the traits of a ninja. Maybe

that's just a childhood dream of mine. I don't

know So I'll go a ninja on this one Dan. What

about you? I? Guess the one thing that kind of

turns me off at the Pirates is the whole mean

-spirited thing and I also think Pirates also

have that really strong personality that could

eventually get annoying and by like, you know

the seventh day of your sea trip you just could

be tired of all the swashbuggling and all that

craziness. So similar to you, I think I'd rather

hang out with ninjas, you know, a little bit

calmer, a little bit peaceful. They might kill

me in my sleep, but at least I'll go silently.

Alright, so we're a split crowd on this one.

Half of us for the ninjas and half of us for

the pirates. So no clear -cut winner in that

one, but we will still tally the total votes

and that could play a factor in the final verdict

here. Now we're going to completely shift into

a new gear here. So our first four have all been

about, you know, traits and symbols and weapons

and uniforms and all the traditional view of

these different groups here. For the next section

of the episode here, we're going to shift into

more pop culture aspects. We're going to look

at a bunch of different ways that pirates and

ninjas are depicted and kind of who has the better

certain things, movies, games, cartoons, et cetera.

So we're going to start with our fifth category

here, which is movies. What makes for a better

movie? A ninja movie or a pirate movie? Obviously,

everybody's going to have their favorite ninja

or pirate movies, and there are going to be a

bunch more that we might not mention. But for

pirate films, you have stuff like, obviously,

the whole series of Pirates of the Caribbean,

classics like Treasure Island, Cutthroat Island,

some kids' favorites, maybe, like The Goonies.

Um, the Princess Bride hook, um, a bunch of different

Peter Pan type stuff, musical, Pirates of Penzance,

um, and a variety of other things. Uh, Ninjas

you have. I can't go without San Beverly Hills

Ninja, or Surf Ninjas, right? American classic.

American Ninja, I think that's a trilogy. Have

we all seen Surf Ninjas, by the way? Yeah, I

have. Alright, amazing. I might have seen it

in the 90s. I love it. Chuck Norris in the Octagon,

um... American Ninja three ninjas enter the ninja

ninja assassin bloodsport I guess in a way so

and there's probably a bunch more that you guys

can bring up but What and and then you're you're

probably the biggest movie buff out of all of

us here So what makes for better movies pirates

or ninjas? Well, we talked about the personalities

I think we kind of it kind of ties into this

too like the personality of a ninja I don't think

necessarily translates to a great movie because

it's you're silent. You're cunning. You're not

necessarily having a great personality But with

a pirate, you are. You're going on adventures.

You're having a great time. It's a whole joy.

But I think ninjas aren't great characters to

put in the lead role. They're more of a tool.

They're more of a villain. They're more of something

like a background character. But if you're looking

at the movies we mentioned, most of the ninja

movies are a little bit more generic. You're

just kind of throwing ninja in the title. And

surf ninjas or American Ninja and you're kind

of just getting a general movie but with the

pirate films I think you you have that adventure

you can do a lot of cool things with it and a

lot of times it's just you know, it's just I

Think a pirate movie what it has for it. It's

just it's more open -ended. It's you have a lot

more options of what you can do I mean, there

are some other ninja movies. I guess if you want

to mention some of the Bruce Lee stuff I don't

know if that would count like enter the dragon

or whatnot, but I just think the adventure angle

of a pirate movie is just so much more fun. Another

thing they do too, traditionally it seems like

in movies, is ninja movies take a lot of liberties

with the idea of what ninjas do, how ninjas act,

what ninjas look like, etc. It's basically just

throw the word ninja in there. Maybe have a few

traits that resemble ninjas and then just use

that as a like a vehicle to do something else

Well, I think Beverly Hills ninjas pretty straightforward

in the way Whereas pirates it seems like you

know Even though there is a lot of leeway and

a lot of different types of pirates depicted

that they they usually try to More embody the

classic concepts of pirates like whether it be

you know the uniform or their you know activities

it seems like it's They represent the idea of

a pirate to me better than ninja movies represent

the idea of a ninja. And maybe I'm just way off,

but it just seems like ninja oftentimes is just

a word and they use it and kind of go in a thousand

different angles that might not even be ninja

-like. But I don't know, I agree with you that

the pirate movies are... Typically tend to lead

to more adventures more fun more types of movies

that I would rather watch I know a lot of people

would be there might be a lot of fans out there

of the fighting that you're gonna See in a ninja

movie, but I would prefer the adventure story

side of things that you get with the pirate movies

So I agree with you Dan. What about you Matt?

Well, so when I was scrolling through the original

script and I was looking at I was like This is

hands down like Pirates of the Caribbean movies

were amazing. Princess Bride is great. Like I

loved Hook as a kid, you know, Treasure Island.

Wait, you don't love Hook now? I haven't seen

Hook in 20 years. Oh my god, Hook's still good.

Is it? It doesn't hold up. No, it does. It does,

you're wrong. Nate, you are biased beyond bias.

I am not! Okay, no, seriously, Hook is a great

movie. Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman is great.

Is great, man. And then that can stop. And so

is Shmee, but you know besides that Rufio, I

don't know doesn't really hold up. Rufio! Rufio!

So like if you look at the the ninja ones like

three ninjas, Beverly Henshin, like you know

and I'm looking at it and you know what you're

you're what you're doing here is you're like

what movie stars a pirate what movie stars a

ninja and it's like you know what I'm gonna have

to agree with everyone that ninjas don't make

a great a star, but they make an amazing villain.

Like if you go to the movie, Duel to the Death,

and I don't know if any of you guys have heard

of or seen it, well Nate's seen it, but I doubt

he remembers. I have a terrible memory. The concept

behind Duel to the Death is every like four years

or five years, a Chinese swordsman and a Japanese

swordsman compete over some tournament or whatever.

Yep, I remember this one. And you know, every

five years they get together and they do this.

and then the Japanese government decides this

year they want to win no matter what so they

dispatch like this ninja group and like every

other scene is a ninja scene right like half

the scenes will be like training and like these

like intense moments where it's like well we'll

see how well you do this fight and then the other

half is like ninjas showing up stealing like

like the books like this is where the Chinese

guy gets all the secrets like this is where he

learns his techniques and then like but they

just do all these very traditional ninja things

Like, they're hiding in things. Like, at one

point, this woman's, like, walking through a

forest, and she goes, huh? And stabs a tree,

and a ninja falls out. It's like, that was amazing.

There's one scene where, like, there's a monk

walking through a desert, because he's going

to go view it, and he's, like, a very high Chinese

monk, and he's, like, he's going to give a lot

of fame to the organization. And a ninja drops

down, and he's like, oh, I can fight a ninja.

And then the ninja tears his shirt off, and he's

a chick, a naked lady. And the monk's like, I

can't touch a lady. I can't see a naked lady.

And then there's one, like five ninjas jump into

the air and form like a Voltron 20 foot tall

ninja. There's like ninjas that are, at least

let this all say one movie. There's like a scene

where a ninja's like on a kite chasing a dude

and the guy doesn't even know until the wind

blows and it ruffles his kite. Like, this movie

alone, just to me, wins it for the ninjas. And

I've only described about a third of the ninja

scenes in this movie. So are you officially voting

for Ninjas? I'm voting Ninjas because you're

the duel to the death and if you haven't seen

duel to the death, find it. Did anyone notice

the color themes for the movies? Pirate movies

apparently have a specific color scheme. Sand

and sky. Yep. They all look like they could be

covered to the same movie. Nate, you haven't

given your thoughts here. What group makes better

movies? uh... pirates I don't even think we need

to ask you anymore. Although, you haven't done

the obvious yet. There hasn't been the slam dunk

ninja category where you've pulled the TFG on

Mike and still voted for the other one. I'm just

kidding, Mike. No, but seriously though, Pirates

of the Caribbean movies are a lot of fun and

I really want to see the pirates, the claymation

or whatever. It's like made to look like claymation

maybe. It's like the Wallace and Rowlatt guys,

right? Yeah, but I don't know. Is it? Yeah. Alright,

cool. That was one of the ones that I really

wanted to see. I mean, I would be, I would be

hypocrite if I voted against pirate movies because

The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies

of all time. Yeah. And The Goonies is just an

excellent kids movie. The Princess Bride, like,

it had the Dread Pirate Roberts, but, like, it...

It sure did. And it had Swashbuckling. A little

bit. Quite a bit. Alright, quite a bit. Don't

evil scenes. No what? Naval, like sea, open sea

stuff. No, but the sword fighting and man with

six fingers and I don't know. All right, moving

on to a different side of pop culture here with

our sixth category and that would be cartoons.

We know what group makes the better movies for

the most part except for Matt's indiscriminate

of that one. But which group makes the better

cartoons? For pirates you have stuff like the

Pirates of Darkwater, Tinkerbell, Pirate Fairy,

Tailspin, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Space

Pirate, Captain Harlock, that counts doesn't

it? Yeah man, Captain Harlock is a badass. Black

Lagoon, Lagoon Lagoon, One Piece, And then for

Ninjas you have stuff like Ninjago. I can never

say that, the LEGO one. Ninjago. You did mention

Flapjack. Yeah, why'd you mention Flapjack? That's

one of the best cards we've ever. Skip the mentions

of Flapjack, excuse me. Randy Cunningham, 9th

grade Ninja, American Dragon, Jake Long, Chuck

Norris, Karate Commandos, I guess, in a way,

even though it's more just mixed martial arts,

I guess. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I mean,

that has Ninja right in the title there. I know

Ninja, you kind of have more of a... gray area

where sometimes it's samurais or sometimes it's

just fighting cartoons uh... what group makes

a better cartoon uh... starting with nate oh

come on okay starting with nate i never have

him go first i give him one shot to go first

you have flapjack and you have tailspin in the

same list what are you doing? The other one has

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which was, uh,

one, I don't know. Okay, it's really good, Teenage

Mutant Ninja Turtles, but... Have you seen Rainy

kind of hit Ninjutsu? I have not. Is it good?

It looks annoying just by looking at the cover.

Well, I like the art. It looks okay. Um, Samurai

Jack, that's a samurai. I mean, I don't know.

It's hard to... It's hard to come up with ninja

cartoons. Exactly. Pirates win. Sea Day's Beach

Ninja Turtles is great. And Captain... What's

the name? Captain Harlock. I've seen one episode

of that. It was pretty good. Oh, really? Like,

I love the concepts behind Captain Harlock. Like,

on paper it looks amazing. And if you guys remember

back when we were trying to do a Star Wars campaign.

Star Wars Tabletop Campaign. Mine was based heavily

off of Captain Harlock's story. But... I don't

know. Like, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is huge.

Like, you look at all these pirate things, and

it's like, you know, maybe you'll know Talespin.

One Piece had a little bit of popularity a few

years ago. But, like, generally, I don't think

the, you know, you think of cartoon pirates very

often. That's true. And none of them single -handedly

could compete with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Really couldn't. Flapjack's close. I'm not even

joking. Oh my god. I love five Jack. It's Michael

Bay making that into a movie, too Well, I guess

you know turtles is hard to beat and I would

say Samurai Jack is as much of a Ninja cartoon

as tailspin is a pirate Cartoon and I would that's

true Don carnage. I don't remember Samurai Jack

fighting ninjas or robot ninjas even I'm sure

they had robot ninjas. Sometimes. I'm sure they

were in there There's like 90 episodes I haven't

watched all these cartoons, but I would put turtles

and Samurai Jack above all the other ones though.

I love tailspin But so, with that said, I'd go

with the ninjas. I just think for what, maybe

because the personalities of Pirates don't translate

to kid cartoons, but somehow ninjas do, I don't

know. I think it's easier for them to mask the

ninja into a good character or even a villain

without bringing out traits that they're worried

about. the kid scene where it's hard to do Pirates

unless you just go the complete comedic route

and put it in a kid cartoon. Obviously a couple

of these are geared towards a little bit of an

older audience with Space Pirate Captain Harlock

and Black Lagoon in my opinion and even, well,

those two mainly I feel like are geared towards

a little bit of an older audience compared to

like Flapjack and Jake and the Neverland Pirates

and whatever. Don't know to me. I guess it depends

on what you want to look at it. Who has the bigger

body of cartoons? There's probably more pirate

cartoons out there or cartoons with pirate themes

or pirate characters Or if you're looking at

it as just which group has the best cartoon Which

to me is like you said Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

You know Samurai Jack whether it counts or not.

I guess is a bigger one, but to me Teenage Mutant

Ninja Turtles is Hands down way better than anything

else on either of these lists But that's because

I guess I grew up in the 80s and I'm biased Nate

Matt, how are you guys gonna break this down

into your final vote here? Dan went with ninjas.

What are you guys doing? Well, I want to I want

to make a comment on earlier what you were saying

with like Pirates translate the kids or the ninjas

translate the kids better And that's because

like the ninja like when a ninja kills someone

it might be poison Or it might be a dart in the

neck, which is also poison. Or, like, you can

have him hold the sword over his head while the

guy's asleep, and then it cuts away, and it's

like, yep, that guy's dead. Whereas a pirate...

Well, I'm not saying that... Not to interrupt

you, but I'm not saying that they translate better

in a kid's view. Or that, like... I'm not saying

that kids would like one or the other better.

I'm saying, like, just from producing the cartoon

and, like, the parental groups and stuff like

that, it might be easier to pass. Yeah. That's

what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Okay.

Like, because a pirate death, when someone dies

versus a pirate... It's like, they're gonna swashbuckle

until their guts get spilled, or they're gonna

get blasted with a medieval weapon gun that's

going to fester and bleed to death, or they're

gonna get scurvy and wear away, or they're gonna

get tossed yet. The walk in the planks is like

the only one that's kid -friendly. Because they

can have a bunch of young... Which is why it's

the only way... I bet you if you ask most kids,

like, how do pirates kill people, they'd be like,

walk the plank, because that's the only thing

they've been exposed to. Exactly, exactly. So

yeah, I mean in a category which is aimed at

kids, cartoons are generally aimed at kids. It's

like not fair to the pirates almost. That said,

like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Samurai

Jack definitely sculpted me as a child. They're

like things that I still pull from today. But

Flapjack, Tailspin, Harlock, Lagoon, One Piece,

I've seen all of these, I've read some of these.

Don't know I want to give it to the pirates on

this one. I literally changed your vote like

four times during that conversation You never

know what's going Nate what about you? I'm gonna

have to go with ninjas actually. Oh Yeah, it

was like I Really like flapjack, but I mean just

I can't be that bias like the captain his whole

body's a beard Fuck you're right Pirates Wow

With one description his vote has shifted It's

great though because he gets shaved one episode

and he's just covered in tattoos and stuff I

don't know I, maybe I just haven't been exposed

to Flapjack enough. It's so good. I don't want

to oversell it, but it's fun. I've seen Tailspin,

I've seen the Pirates of Dark Water, which is

not a bad cartoon actually. I've seen a few episodes

of Jake and the Neverland Pirates for voice actor

purposes only. I've seen Ninjago, but man, it's

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Forget it. I gotta

go with ninjas on this one. They have a rat that

knows martial arts. I mean, come on. I mean,

everybody loves ninjas because of turtles. I'm

gonna say that TMNT is the winner of that category.

That one show just outshines the rest of them.

Right. But to me it's the bulk of good pirates

versus the not bulk of good ninja ones. Which

makes sense, I can understand that, and I respect

that. Alright, so we had movies going the way

of the pirates, we had cartoons split, and now

we shift to another pop culture area, which would

be video games, which I know all of you guys

are probably more knowledgeable than myself.

When it comes to ninja video games, you have

stuff like Double Dragon, Mortal Kombat, Ninja

Blade, Shinobi... I always say it wrong, Nate,

but you said it earlier, ninja... Ninja Gaiden?

What did I say? Ninja Gaiden? It's either Ninja

Gaiden, Ninja Gaiden, or Ninja Gaiden, I've heard.

Gaiden? I always said Gaiden when I was a kid,

but I don't know why. I think it's Gaiden. Gaiden

is phonetic, G -A -Y would be Ga, and D -E -N

is Den. I don't know, whatever. For pirate games,

you had Sid Meier's Pirates. uh... series you

had a tropical to pirate cove uh... you had monkey

island series which you i have played that one

good lord that was one of my favorite games as

a kid uh... i guess assassins creed uh... black

flag assassins creed four uh... and there's a

bunch more that i'm sure nate and matt can bring

up you know what's funny there's not a lot of

good pirate games that's a pretty comprehensive

list you got there and donkey kong country 2

is stretching it But, yeah. I need to make one.

Same type of argument, I guess, for this one,

and we'll see what you guys think. Does one of

them have a better complete body, or if you're

looking at lists of, let's say, all the ninja

games in the world and all the pirate games in

the world, is there a clear number one game that

stands above all the rest? Man, that's a tough

question. You're the video game guru. Do you

need a minute to think about it while the other

guys... No, I'm good to just flap my mouth around.

Flap your mouth. I've never played Sid Meier's

Pirates. Okay, Sid Meier's Pirates, I've put

so many hours on it, Sid Meier's Pirates. It

is an amazing game. Like, ugh. Like, that is

one of the big games that just got me into pirates.

Like, ugh. You just do all the pirate stuff and

it's open -ended and you just, you have stuff

you do and it's, ah, love it. I haven't played

Assassin's Creed 4 and I feel bad because I love

pirates. It looks awesome. It looks really fun.

I don't want to be a pirate. You get a ship and

everything. And Donkey Kong Country 2 is my favorite

SNES game. So I want to go with pirates. No book

for Monkey Island. Listen. I want to go with

pirates on this one. But ninjas... See, here's

the thing. Video games were like... When Nintendo

revived the video game industry, you know, it

was all Japanese culture. that was getting infused

in the game. So there's so many more examples

of ninja video games than there are of pirate

video games, because... And it's a difference

here, too, than what we were talking about with

the cartoons. You know, whereas cartoons, a lot

of them are trying to be kid -friendly, this,

that, and the other, there's not as much concern

over that when it, you know, turns to video games.

Oh, no. Yeah. So, I mean, because, like, the

newer ninja guidance are, like, super bloody

and, like, crazy, violent. And, like... Um, I

don't know just like there's just so many more

examples of of good ninjas in video games that

what's your favorite ninja video game? Probably

Ninja Gaiden. I mean, I really like I really

like the SNES one, but I'll never beat it. It'll

be sad. It's sad. Um, but Man, I'm trying to

think of like a more obscure ninja game. Oh mark

of the ninja. Holy crap. That's a new one It's

a newer one. It came out a few years ago It's

a stealth action platformer where you're a ninja

and it's like one hit kills so you have to be

stealthy. It's really cool. But yeah, there's

so many less examples of pirate games. I feel

like there's as many Ninja Gaiden games as there

are pirate games. Yeah, that's probably true.

But does the quality of something, if you take,

for example, the ones he was saying, Sid Meier's

Pirates... uh... assassins creed for or like

one of my eyes on this my favorite monkey island

are there games like that and the quality of

those few games enough to combat the lack of

prior games or are there just as many equally

great ninja games you know i'm really can we

can we pause for sixty hours so i can play a

set of three four at the end of the year ever

played risen to you Have not I heard it was really

crappy. You don't even get a boat like I I own

I think both risen games Yeah, I was super excited

about them because I've played every fable game

except for the on rail kinetic only shooter Yeah,

which doesn't count um and it looks risen looks

just like pirates Pirates version of fable like

dude fables awesome pirates are awesome. I got

to get on I got them both Terrible controls.

Yeah, like I'm really on into a story. Yeah,

like it's just it was just miserable Yeah, does

it depend on if you're if you're Desire of video

games is more of adventure style video game versus

a fighting video game style There aren't a lot

of adventure ninja games. There aren't a lot

of fighting video games No, there are I mean

fighting pirate. Okay, like does it just depend

on what kind of video games you like or it probably

it probably Plays a factor. Yeah Yeah, because

I don't like fighting games. Like, cause Sid

Meyers is like, uh, it's going to be a lot like

the other Sid Meyers, right? Civilization. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, it's like, uh, it's not turn

based exactly, but it's like, um, you, you have

little events. You go from place to place. You're

not going to have a ninja game where you gotta,

oh, you gotta build a ninja factory. Okay. It's

pumping out ninjas. Now you gotta send, you gotta

collect ninja resources. It's not going to work.

That works in a pirate game. Sid Meyers Pirates

is more like you're one, you're one, uh, pirate

and you have a crew and you, and you, uh, can

go around. the world and like get ships and stuff

it's really good it's really good pirates have

way broader range like like we said we could

have a strategy game you can have an adventure

game like tropical that's also a strategy I mean

you could technically even have just a fighting

game with pirates but they I don't think it is

one specific has been made there in in um in

soul caliber there is a pirate Cervantes yeah

he's cool Like, I think pirates can get into

just about every genre of video game, and I don't

know if it works for the ninjas. Fuck, we have

a lot more ninja games. Well, that's because

it's easier to develop a game where you just

run and kill stuff. But you can do it really

well, like Tenshu Wrath of Heaven for the PS2,

where it's... Like... Do I need to go get that?

Yeah. Dude, if you haven't played that game...

No, I don't have any Tenchu games. Oh, that's

the only Tenchu game I've ever played, and it's

the only one I need to play. It was that good.

Like, because you could do anything! And like

we were saying earlier, where there's like violence

levels versus video games versus uh... Like,

cartoons. Like, it would actually, if you're

playing single player and you do like a stealth

kill, it'll show you like how you killed the

dude. Like, it'll give you like an x -ray sometimes

of you like breaking a dude's spine or sliding

your sword in between his ribs. Like, and then

it had just like all these really cool calculated

things that you would do as a ninja. Like, making

a poisoned rice ball and setting it on a side

of a table. Someone's like, oh, rice ball, cool.

And then he's dead. Like it. I think all the

listeners are figuring out Why? If any time in

the future we're doing video game themed shows

Wars or anything of the like of the sort why

why you'll be hearing a lot more of Mad Nate

Dan get your thoughts in real quick about the

video game aspect of things well I'm kind on

your side. I don't really My video game knowledge

is not that extensive honestly some of the games

I on the pirate and most of them I haven't heard

of except for Assassin's Creed and Donkey Kong

Country and pirates The way I look at it's like

me of Mortal Kombat on that list I'm going to

like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which that

was such a huge oh my god I forgot about those

like the Turtles in time Oh, yeah, it's so good.

But you're saying like Mortal Kombat as far as

like the impact that that one single game had?

Yeah, and then the town that if you're gonna

count the Ninja Turtles game, you know Turtles

arcade game just pretty phenomenal and I did

play Ninja Gaiden back in the day like for Xbox

and I thought that was a fun game and though

maybe the Pirates games or cover more bases.

I think just that the Ninja video games are a

little bit more iconic maybe because like you

mentioned like was mentioned They're they're

coming from Japanese companies that that culture

is a lot more prominent but that's the reason

I'm thinking ninjas just because of Their cultural

impact and the fact that I kind of know them

unlike the pirate games. So I'll plead in your

we've got a whole bunch of discussion on video

games, but I don't know if I know exactly which

way your vote is leading, so what do you guys

think on that? I gotta go on personal experience

and say that I've had more fun with very few

pirate games than I have with a lot of ninja

games, so pirates. I'm going to do the same thing

Nate did. I've had a lot more fun playing Tenchu,

Wrath of Heaven than I have any pirate game.

And though I like the range of the pirate games,

I'm going to have to give it to Ninjas personally.

This one's tough for me because, like I said,

I don't have a lot of experience in the video

game. If I was just going on based on what games

on these lists did I have the most fun playing,

it would be Monkey Island because I just love

that style of game. But that's more because of

the style of game and not so much because of

pirates necessarily. Is there a ninja point and

click adventure? I don't think so. But I do remember

playing Ninja Gaiden a little bit as a kid, playing

Mortal Kombat and a couple of those games like

that. So even though Monkey Island would be my

favorite game on the list, I think overall, just

as a body of work, ninjas make for a better video

game in general as far as the public goes. So

I will swing my vote to the ninja way and close

out that category. And we have a couple more

pop culture style categories. And the next one

up is with actual fictional characters. So regardless

of if it's from movies or video games or TV shows

or cartoons, when you're actually looking. Because

a lot of these ones that we've been looking before

is like a movie that's completely based on a

ninja war pirate or a video game that's mostly,

you know. all about ninjas or pirates, that excludes

a lot of characters that appear in different

things like comic book characters or individual

characters that appear in a cartoon series that

might not completely be about ninjas or pirates.

So if we're looking at fictional characters,

obviously we're just talking about video games,

so you do have Ryu Hayabusa. Yes, from Ninja

Gaiden. You obviously have Sub -Zero, Scorpion,

and all of the other ninjas in Mortal Kombat.

We've talked about the four turtles, Leonardo,

Dante, Raphael, and Michelangelo, as far as Teenage

Mutant Ninja Turtles. But some of the ones that

I'm talking about that you might forget, because

GI Joe's not necessarily a ninja movie, but you

have two of the coolest ninjas out of all fictional

characters in Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes. You

have a lot of comic book ninjas, which I'm sure

you guys can bring more than I have pictured

there. Who do you guys view as the biggest comic

book ninja characters? That's up to you, Matt.

I don't know too much. Well, Iron Fist, probably.

Yeah. Who? Iron Fist. Iron Fist, yeah. You know,

he's kung fu more than he's ninja. Yeah. But

I mean, yeah, he's... I would say mostly his

villains. Like the Hand. Oh, yeah. Just like

the turtles fight the foot in Marvel, there's

the Hand. who is a whole sect of ninjas. There's

a lot of ninjas. A lot of websites were listing

Electra, Daredevil, and Psylocke. They all have

ninja -like qualities. So does Wolverine. He

was trained by ninjas at a certain point. The

other one I have pictured is Cyber Ninja. Is

that what it's called? No, Cyborg Ninja. Cyborg

Ninja from Metal Gear Solid. Yeah, that's the

other one. Yeah, he's a weirdo. That guy is a

weirdo. You should see his scenes. You kill him.

Well, you finish his battle and then he's like,

Hurt me more! Hurt me more! It's insane. But

Matt, I didn't mean to cut you off. Keep going

with some other ninjas that we might not have

on the list or other comic book ninjas or just

fictional characters that fit into that ninja

realm. Can you think of any that we're missing?

I can't think of any off the top of my head because

I'm really bad at that. Yep. Well, you might

think of some as we rattle off the pirate characters

that might fit in this category. Sure, I'll just

cut in and take it. Yes, just be like, oh, I

got it. I got the pirates. I got this ninja character

I thought of. You have Deadpool in your list.

That's Deadpool, right? Deadpool's the worst

ninja ever. He but a daredevil I meant to say

Deadpool you did say daredevil actually is very

ninja like yeah He's probably a better ninja

and probably better at being a ninja than Deadpool,

but Deadpool I think is one of the most inarguably

ninja characters like he wears a very ninja like

outfit He attacks from behind he uses he used

a lot of tools. He's got a lot of ninja like

qualities He just has a dumb mouth. Here's a

big And then as far as like some fictional pirate

characters, you got to go more into, a lot of

times more into classic movies or movies or books

or stuff like that. But you obviously have the

pirate robbers like we talked about from Princess

Bride. You have Captain Jack Sparrow from the

pirate series. You have LeChuck from Monkey Island.

You got Long John Silver. You got Hook. You got

Don Carnage. One -Eyed Willie from the Goonies.

You got the Flying Dutchman from Spongebob. I'm

Captain Nemo, I guess would fit into that category.

I feel like if you ask just a random person,

even like a random other people that we talked

to on the podcast to just list off ninja characters,

you would be able to list off a lot more without

running out of ideas than if we asked you to

list pirates. Famous fictional pirates. You forgot

no beard, the pirate. What I'm saying, you could

come up with more ninja characters than you can

pirate characters. Why is that? I mean, we had

more pirate movies. There's better pirate movies.

Cartoons we were split on. There's still a few

pirate video games. Why is it then when we look

at actual fictional characters that all of a

sudden there seems to be a gazillion fictional

ninjas that we all know and a lot of us love,

and then we would try to think of pirates? You

have your standards or some specifics from a

couple of these things, but then you're done.

I think it's because the pirate sensibilities

are a little bit not as timeless as a ninja.

I think a ninja can translate to any time period.

You can make a ninja into something like Deadpool,

but if you put a pirate in a comic book today

that's taking place present time... it's gonna

be kind of odd seeing a dude in a three -piece

hat and in different things, but I think the

Yeah, you can kind of adjust it like we talked

about with like Han Solo has pirate qualities

But I just think this their look is a little

bit more distinct like we talked about so it's

hard to kind of have a fully formed pirate in

a Unless it's like a period piece. So I'm gonna

Two points. One, I was thinking about exactly

what he said when I saw that you had three or

four comic book ninjas. I was like, is there

any comic book pirates? And, you know, there

are a few, like the Black Flag comic from Watchmen,

like the comic in a comic, which was great, and

had pirates in it. But, I mean, yeah, you can't

do a modern pirate. Like, you either have to

go back in time or you have to go forward in

time for it to work. That said, I don't think

I agree that people can name a lot more ninjas

than pirates. Because you'd be like, I think

if you go to the general populace, someone who

doesn't have very many geek or nerd qualities,

and be like, hey, can you name five pirates?

They'll be able to name off Davy Jones and Blackbeard,

Redbeard, Nobeard, Jack Sparrow. They'll be able

to just name off five from Pirates of the Caribbean,

probably. What if you take that one movie out,

how many can they name? Uh, Hook. Yeah. That's

about it. I mean, because I can name Raphael,

Michelangelo, Leonardo, and... Hey! That's just

as many as you just named for Pirates of the

Caribbean. And I agree, but I think that that

knowing all the turtles' names is kind of nerdy.

I don't know. Like, I feel like the Pirates of

the Caribbean are way more acceptable. I don't

know, man. There's been like 15 years worth of

turtles' cartoons. There's movies, comics, video

games. Come on, everybody knows the turtles.

Maybe, maybe. Compared to the Pirates of the

Caribbean? I wanna draw a Blackbird comic. No,

no, no! I wanna do, okay, the four most famous

pirates, mutants. Mutant, pirate, famous dudes,

comic. Mount Rushmore, a pirate. Yeah, and then

they fight, I don't know, the Shredder or something.

Can you really compete with stuff like Sub -Zero,

Scorpion, Storm Shadow, and Snake Eyes? Snake

Eyes is so badass. You can't compete with Snake

Eyes. Is Snake Eyes the best ninja ever? Yeah,

probably. That's probably true. Which is weird,

because in my mind, every G .I. Joe is American,

so in my mind, Snake Eyes is American. No, he

probably is. And so it's so weird to be like,

yeah, we win that one. America. G .I. Joe. Who's

the best pirate character? Jack Sparrow? No.

I don't know man if you see the opening 10 minute

scene of Pirates of the Caribbean 4 Where it's

just like so incredibly we're pirates we get

to do whatever we want now Yeah, like it's just

so unabashedly. We don't even care cream puff

on the ceiling It's so much fun cream puff on

the ceiling. You got to see it. All right, man

Dan who makes the better character a ninja or

a pirate. Well, I think the ninjas have better

fictional characters just Assortment of them

and whatnot. I mean, I think Captain Hook is

probably the best maybe not the best but probably

the most notorious Pirate just because of the

cartoon and and whatnot, but I just prefer the

ninja characters I mean, I guess think guys and

ninja turtles. What are you gonna do? I Mean,

I think you'd have to eliminate like if you were

if you were ranking fictional character ninjas

and fictional character pirates Like you would

probably have to eliminate like the first five

or ten ninjas to make this a fair fight Like,

you'd have to get rid of all the Mortal Kombat

ninjas, you'd have to get rid of Snake Eyes and

Storm Shadow, get rid of the turtles, get rid

of a few comic book characters, and then we might

have a fair comparison, in my opinion, on fictional

characters. I'm not saying anything against pirates.

I love a lot of the pirate characters. Wait,

why are you... You should be saying things against

pirates. That's what we're doing! We're debating!

I know, but the pirate, I mean, we had to stretch

to come up with stuff. I got Don Carnage and

the Flying Dutchman in here. Don Carnage is great.

I feel like this specific category is a slam

dunk. I feel like, generally, if you'd be like,

you know, who's got cooler characters, pirates

or ninjas? Like, not looking at this list, I'd

be like, I can think of a lot of cool pirates.

But yeah, like, the pirates don't have anyone

that represents them that's... The sub -zero

or snake eye is cool. Yeah. That's true. Nate?

What? I need to hear an official vote from Nate

on this one. The first official time that Nate

has voted for Nate. Oh, that's right. He took

back the lunch. He talked about his other attempt

at voting that day. He said his whole body was

a beard! His whole body's a beard! Except for

his peg legs, which he has two peg legs and two

hook hands. We haven't talked at all about peg

legs. Love them. No, we haven't. They're great

accessory. Anyway, go on. All right, hold on.

We got another with the last of I guess like

what I'm considering the pop culture categories

and that would be looking at toys specific toys

in general or specifically I thought it would

be cool to look at which of these character types

makes up for a better better lego set because

legos have done sets of everything we you know

you have your space legos your cop legos your

castle like medieval time legos you and you do

have a whole set of ninja legos and a whole set

of pirate legos throughout the years and since

the lego movie is out this year and everybody's

thinking about legos etc i thought it would be

cool to look at these specific uh... comparisons

here and uh... i see there's a much more than

what i have pictured a that you'll see on the

on the web page on the post i mean you guys can

probably think of more maybe you guys had more

when you were a kid i don't know myself i had

all of the the nights in the medieval legos that's

that's the ones i had so i didn't necessarily

have a bunch of these uh... but which which group

makes for better to lego sets ninjas or pirates

wants to start this one up and Well looking at

the sets here if I'm like a kid and thinking

or even as adult which one I'd rather play with

I think this the pirates are a lot more intriguing

I looked like the ninjas just kind of houses

and doesn't look all that fun but like the pirates

have ships and Flags and craziness and you know

the ninjas have little huts and little flags

and it's not nearly as fun so I don't know it's

me that The Pirates Lego sets looks a lot more

fun and you know what else the Pirates Lego sets

have that the ninja ones don't usually bow treasure

chests And it was always fun as a kid to have

a little treasure chest But you could open it

up and have little Lego pieces of gold and then

they would also have little gold cups and different

things like that I like the little booty that

you can get Yeah, and you could hide the booty

around. You could put little cups and little

gold pieces everywhere. You could put a treasure

chest somewhere and hide it like you're on your

own little adventure. I like me some Legos, and

I definitely like... I never even knew Ninja

Legos existed. Is this a new thing? Do these

always exist? I'm talking about classic ninja

lego sets. Where were these when I was a kid?

The first ninja lego set you posted there clearly

has an older look to it. I can believe it was

around the 90s. Ninjas were huge in the 90s.

Did ninjas always do the whole paragliding bat

suit thing? I've seen it a lot of places. But

yeah, the ninja houses don't look, I'm with Dan,

they don't look very entertaining. Like, I'd

much rather have a ship with some treasure chests.

You think about it like, the pirates have a lot

more larger payload for an alien, right? You

think of a ninja, you think of a bunch of little

tools and stuff, which doesn't translate well

into a Lego situation where it's like a boat

and a cave and a treasure chest. Whoa, someone

died. And like, that is all cool and like really

well done. You know, and part of me wants to

be like, well, you know, the ninjas... legos

like you get like a black figure with a little

black hands and you get a little thing that you

can put over the head and you can put any any

of your legos could be a ninja be like this one's

Darth Maul ninja and it's like that's kind of

cool but the lego set that i had as a kid the

pirate one had a hook hand and a peg leg and

the ninja doesn't got nothing on that um i uh

i've never owned a lego set You have to leave

the pod My mom would never buy them for me. They

were really expensive. Yeah, they were expensive

and I probably would have lost them That's true.

So legos are way more expensive than you think

unless you just want like the horse with two

guys, right? It's like $5 .99. That's actually

a very inefficient Lego set I go, you know cuz

I'm a toy guy, right? I'm probably like comics

on toys are my two big things and Statistically,

the bigger sets get you way more pieces per dollar.

And that's a common thing that you'll see on

the forums of people being like, well, that set's

really like five cents a piece. That's no good.

And they'll break it down that much. I just had

so many. My brother had a ton of Legos. He had

the old Legos from the 70s. He had the space

Legos and the city Legos with the cops and stuff

like that. And like I said, I had a whole bunch

of medieval -themed Legos. You know, I had so

many Legos and then one day like as an older

person when I was working at Target, I was like

looking at the Legos and I'm like, is this how

much these cost? Like, I should not have been

asking for these for Christmas and for birthday

presents. And they've actually, they're actually

really expensive, but they've gotten better statistically

since their prices have increased less than inflation

has. So like they were even more expensive in

the 80s. Matt's ridiculous with those toys. Yeah,

me and Matt need to talk toys more. But I'm surprised

because for the exact reasons you just said,

where your brother had these Lego sets and then

you, you know, got them because you were the

next kid. That's how I got my first Lego set.

My brother had a million Legos. And so since

Nate was like the sixth kid, I'm surprised he

didn't have a million Legos. Well, I was, I was

the second boy. Oh, yeah. David had lots and

lots of G .I. Joes, so I did have a lot of G

.I. Joes with their torsos half ripped off. Yeah,

the rubber band did not last. Yeah. So is anybody

voting for Ninjas on this one? No. Nope. Okay,

so clean sweep for pirate Legos. And we're moving

away from pop culture, getting back into a little

bit more for a second here of just pirates and

ninjas in general. Some quick and easy questions

hopefully here. Our tenth category here, if you

had to choose which, and we kind of already answered

this in a ways as we've gone through here, but

which group leads the more appealing life? Like

if you had to choose one, regardless of which

one's cooler, which one's deadlier, which one

has better weapons or clothes, or this, that,

or the other. Like if you're having to put yourself

in their life. What life would you rather lead,

the life of a pirate or the life of a ninja,

Nate? Well, to me, a pirate's life is about freedom.

They go off on adventures just finding stuff.

A ninja's life is about discipline. And if you

think of it that way, it's gotta be pirates.

I think you've got a good point. There's a lot

more freedom in the pirate lifestyle. and there's

a lot more structured discipline in the ninja

lifestyle, but with that freedom comes more problems

like trying to find your next meal and trying

to avoid scurvy and all these things that the

ninja wouldn't even think about. The ninja's

not thinking about disease. I'm dealing with

hangovers. Yeah, sure. The ninja's not gonna

get drunk all night. Yeah, but you're never gonna

get a hangover if you're never not drunk. Yeah.

What is it? Yeah. Just stay drunk. It's like,

I don't feel like the ninja has any concerns

about all these things. His only concern is,

how am I gonna kill this guy and get out? And

even then he's not concerned because he's a ninja

and he's been trained all his life for it. And

so it's like, do you want the structured discipline

of not having too much freedom? Or do you want

the freedom to die by disease on the high seas?

Like, they're both pretty brutal and rough. Now

I'm torn. I thought I knew exactly which way

I was going. Dan, help me out. Who leads a more

appealing life? I mean, you do get to travel

around the world as a pirate, but you also have

to travel on a boat that's moving back and forth

and full of disease, like was mentioned. Wow.

I guess the key word here is appealing. And I

think there's a lot of negatives with the pirate

lifestyle, but I think there's a lot of appealing

aspects to it. I think... there's nothing all

that appealing about being a ninja minus just

being able to kill anybody you want to but there's

a sorry there's a certain romanticism in piracy

that like we as a culture have built up over

time like like the pirates we have in our movies

is not the pirates that actually existed clearly

the other thing too is maybe you guys think about

it different because we've been thinking about

it Not necessarily in a selfish manner, but we've

been thinking about it kind of just as ourselves.

I guess there's an aspect of, for people that

like families or for people that like significant

others, where is it easier to do that? Where

is it easier to have a family or a significant

other in the life of a pirate or the life of

a ninja? Nope. Neither. You kidding me? Nope.

Like, ninjas can't have love. No. They can have

sex? uh maybe yeah well like they can poison

a chick i don't know i feel like they're like

the two i feel like they're both the rapiest

the rapiest pieces of acceptable culture ever

because like you don't want to be a chick on

a pirate ship but you also don't want to be the

date the lady that dated a ninja either yeah

So they're definitely both very... would you

agree that both lifestyles would be pretty isolated

in a way? I don't think of pirates as being isolated

at all, but they're very lonely. Independent?

Lonely. You don't have a lot of chances for settling...

but I guess pirates do get to settle down later,

eventually. They have a higher chance of settling

down if they survived old age. Like Dan said,

they do get to travel the world and see lots

of things. Like Nate said, they do get to drink

and party and have fun and have freedom. I mean,

once they get to port, everything's all good,

especially if they just got some booty. There's

definitely a lot more risks, too, of the pirate

life. Way more. And we didn't even talk about

getting caught. If you get caught as a pirate,

it's pretty much over. You're going to get hanged.

If you get caught as a ninja, you have a chance

of escaping. There's a lot more camaraderie.

You know, you think of camaraderie, you think

of pirates way more than ninjas, but I think

if a ninja gets caught, there's a higher chance

of him getting sprung by other ninja than there

is of a pirate ever getting sprung. So don't

a lot of ninjas, like, if they get caught or

get risk of caught, they have to kill themselves

with, like, cyanide pills and stuff like that?

Rather than being captured? I think that's probably

true, although I don't... It's probably last

resort, though. That was not an appealing part

of that one. Ninjas don't get caught. Yeah, Ninjas,

yeah. That's the problem. I feel like if I was

a Ninja, I'd get caught daily. I'd be like, I

did it again. Dang it. And it'd be like, groundhog

day. Cyanide pill, start again. I'd be a tough

one to hide. We don't make lousy Ninjas. So I

guess it goes back to the category. Which led

the more appealing life? Dan? Oh, wow. Don't

know this is like the most torn. I've been on

a category. Yeah, it almost feels like it's like

I'd rather not be either because None of these

are as cool as I thought about my whole childhood

dang it I guess some of just the negatives of

being a pirate I feel or based upon what's being

said or worse I would not want to get scurvy

or be on a ship or be caught as a pirate. I feel

like the negative side of a ninja would be a

lot quicker or, you know, you wouldn't have to

die of disease like you would if you were a pirate.

So I think I'm going to go with, I was originally

thinking pirate, but I've been swayed and I'm

going to go with ninja. Matt? I'm going to have

to agree with everything he said. Like I don't

want scurvy and I don't want to get seasick all

my life. So I think I'm going to go with ninjas.

Like I think their downsides are way outweighed

by the pirates. Safety over freedom is the trend

right now. Nate? See, in my pirate fantasy...

Which you have a lot of. I would live in a cartoon

where scurvy doesn't exist and everyone's happy.

So I would go... This isn't necessarily what

your fantasy life would be. I don't care! Which

actually led to more appealing life. The pirates

in my mind! But didn't Captain Hook get eaten

by an alligator in the cartoon? No, yeah. Yes,

he certainly did. But... Ninjas never have to

walk the plank. But... I feel like ninjas just...

The thing about the pirates, I felt like their

life span is not very long. You're either eventually

going to get beaten by other pirates, or you're

going to have to walk the plank, or you're just

going to die of disease, or... Guns gonna blow

up in your face or something like your life's

Span is not very long ninjas. Nobody knows what

happens to ninjas I feel like they just are kick

-ass ninjas and the prime of their life and then

somehow They must exist somewhere in the older

life that we just don't see I don't know they

fade off into the distance They're training people

and some like little dojo somewhere. I don't

even know if I'm using the proper terminology

here, but Don't feel like they just die unless

they're doing the cyanide pill thing So maybe

they could have a different life in their older

years where I don't feel like many pirates get

to that old good old retirement Spend the booty

part. I'm thinking more quality of life and not

quantity of life How many ninjas get torn apart

by sharks we haven't even talked about that like

there are guys that get torn apart limb from

limb ripped apart by sharks What if you can't

handle the sea waves and the ocean? Dude, any

pirate I've ever imagined in my head would punch

a shark in the face and that would be it. The

shark would explode. And blow up a ninja ship.

Nate has gone off of the defense. We have lost

Nate to the realm of the city. I think we have

the plot for Sharknado 3 though. Alright, I am

going with ninja as well just because I don't

know, I don't necessarily think it's an appealing

life for a lot of people to be a pirate. I think

not all pirates are doing pirates. stuff because

they really want to. It's like we said earlier,

it's because life has made them do that. They

have no other choice so they will be a pirate

and they will exit that lifestyle as soon as

an opportunity arises. You're a ninja, you're

a ninja for life and it must be appealing enough

for that to be a thing. So I will go with ninjas

as well, I'm sorry Nate, to disappoint your fantasy

world that you live in. Alright, going to the

next question which would be... This one's kind

of hard for me and might be hard for a lot of

people because it's hard to relate to certain

time periods, I guess, for many people that didn't

live in them, but who lived in a cooler time

period? The ninja basically were going from the

1300s to the 1600s as their kind of their golden

age, I guess, and the golden age of piracy would

be directly after that. So 1300 to 1600 for ninjas,

for pirates, you know, the 1600s into the 1700s,

a little shorter of a span. Which time period

is cooler in history, Matt? piracy one because

it's you know includes and then is after the

renaissance like yeah like that's an argument

for the renaissance i'm sorry i'm an english

major like so the idea of being like the the

14th century is lame like you know i don't know

shakespeare like no shakespeare like i don't

know man all music is gorgorian chant You ninjas

don't listen to music. Yeah, dude, ninjas don't

listen to music. Pirates can make music. Oh,

they make great music. I bet there's no ninja

poetry, but I bet pirates tried to woo a lady

with some poetry before. All right, so we have

one argument for the Renaissance period of the

piracy time. Nate, what do you think? Yeah, man.

And the thing is... Never mind. I had a point,

but I don't want to talk about it. It's really

hard to be like, this time period is better than

that time period, that's later than it. Because

it's almost always just getting better. Yeah.

Well, see, my point, if I'm not living in this

time period, part of me would just like to go

as far this back as possible. Everything's going

to seem bad compared to how easily most people

have things now. So let's just go. Let's go for

it. Let's go all the way back. Not talking caveman

back, but let's go back that direction. To me,

I don't know. I wouldn't mind being in the 1800s,

but 1600s, 1700s, I don't know. I don't know

much about the 1300s, I guess. But if I'm going

to go back, I might as well go all the way back.

to experience what that would be like. But I

really have no argument for this. Dan, what do

you think? Yeah. Well, I guess ninjas could hang

out with samurai during their time period. So

that's kind of cool. Or fight samurai. But yeah,

the whole Renaissance thing is a good point.

And I really have no idea. So I'll go with that

one. And it's closer to now. And then America

was kind of being formed then. So go America.

So I'll go 60s, 50s, and 1730s. Nate, are you

going with pirates? Yeah. Okay, that's all I

needed to hear All right, which group makes a

better marketing tool in today's day and age

here for products for Whatever you got who's

a better marketing tool. Can you market ninjas

better or can you market pirates better? Obviously

we have pirates more pirate sports teams than

ninja sport teams and and there's a lot of Pirates

stuff in the in the food industry or the drink

industry, obviously, since pirates are drinkers.

So you got your Captain Morgan, and your Captain,

there's a billion knockoffs in your admirals

and your whatever. You had a pirate back in the

McDonald's days, as far as their early marketing.

Captain Crunch dealt with a villainous pirates.

You have Long John Silver's. Ninja stuff. You

have the Ninja Kawasaki, as far as mod. Motorcycles

or dirt bikes, whatever you want to term that.

I'm just making myself sound ignorant Yeah, you

have a ninja vodka. I think that's one of them

Yeah, it's a brand you have your ninja energy

drinks your ninja food processor I love how you

have fruit ninja as a marketing tool and not

a video game It's just a It's more of the ninja

aspect of selling that than the game But I don't

know like I'll start this one like to me Yes,

there's more sports teams that that market the

idea of a pirate or you know Buccaneer or this

that and the other I feel like Ninja maybe a

more diverse marketing tool where you can make

it work with a lot of different things Because

you can just take one aspect of the ninja whether

it be like the stealthiness or Like the you know

use of blades like with the food process are

kind of doing that type of thing I don't know.

I think like ninjas you can pick out more personality

traits or more traditional things about a ninja

and make it into a wide variety of different

products and market them, whereas the pirate

seems to be a little more focused on certain

genres or certain areas of marketing. And I don't

know how much you can branch out and do other

things with the pirates, but that's just my initial

thought. I haven't decided yet, but that's my

initial thought. Dan, what do you think? I think

when you use Ninja as a marketing tool, it's

a little bit more generic than that of a pirate,

because you look at all the marketing tools we

have listed. For Ninja, they have Word Ninja,

but they don't really use any of the likenesses

of Ninja, really. Unlike a pirate, when you're

marketing it, you're actually using that character

to sell your brand. It's like you have that iconic

symbol of Captain Morgan or the pirate symbol

for the pirates. I think ninja is almost like

a word you kind of just throw. It's more word

association than it is like a marketing tool.

I mean, there's a lot of ninja stuff for like

fitness materials and things like that, but just

I think it's more of an idea. So I think it's

that. Yes. It's whether you value like an idea

of the ninja or the traits of a ninja compared

to a character, like a pirate character, I guess,

maybe. Yeah. If we were asking what makes a better

mascot, that'd be a different, probably an easy

argument for the pirates. but as far as like

just a branding type of idea. I think the branding

of a, like I said, I think of a pirate is more

distinctive and has, if you're marketing it as

a pirate, you think you have an idea of what

it's gonna be, but like looking at all the ninja

things, it just doesn't seem like it, it's just

a word they're putting on there, like you're,

you know, like the ninja slicer or whatever the

thing is, it's just. How's that really ninja?

They're just throwing it on there just because

it sounds cool. So that's why I'm thinking. That's

why I'm leaning towards pirates. Well, what is

marketing, but what sounds the coolest? True.

I'm going to actually piggyback on what he just

said. We have a ninja blender upstairs, right

at the house I'm in. And one, it is the sharpest

blender I've ever seen. Like I do not like washing

it because we don't have a dishwasher and it

has to be hand washed and that's crazy. But it

has they do actually have a logo the ninja brand

food processing company But it's the worst logo

ever because it's like you think of ninjas, right?

We've talked about ninjas for like the last,

you know hour and a half and You know, we all

have a very distinctive View of what a ninja

is the ninja logo for the ninja processor is

one a lady which you know Like, you know, there

probably weren't female ninjas. I can imagine

a stealthy live female ninja. But the idea was

that you're not supposed to look like anything.

You're supposed to look like shadows. So you

would have all of your features, you know, you'd

have a bagginess or something so you couldn't

see your features. Her hair's dangling out. Anyone's

gonna grab that. You're gonna go down. The weapons

she's holding look like, I don't know, dildos

or something? They're rounded, they're not sharp,

they're coming out of both ends. They're really

weird. You just described it all. Wow. Is this

on the ninja box? Yeah, dude. I thought you said

it was a bad logo. It sounds amazing. You take

that logo and you look at it, and you go like,

hey, what do you think this is for? And they're

like, I don't know, exercise or dildos. You don't

think that is for cutting things, and that has

anything to do with ninjas. It doesn't look like

a ninja at all. OK. I don't know where you were

going with that, though, towards the argument.

The point is, well, I think ninjas are probably

a better marketing. Makes it, it's like a, it's

like a... Oh my gosh. Oh, Matt's showing me things

now. I've pulled up the ninja logo for him. Yeah.

Oh, thanks, Matt. I lost my train of thought.

I'm sorry. I lost my train of thought. Yeah,

they're like they're like bendy sticks Look up

the the ninja logo, so we're not weird um Yeah,

very distinctively female the things you're holding

don't look like weapons You could make an argument,

but nah outside of that particular Nate, what

do you think? Do you think ninjas make a better

marketing tool? Is that what you were saying?

Okay, so ninjas probably make a better, more

useful marketing thing. Especially if you're

going for a sleek and modern thing. It's like,

ooh, ninjas, they're fast and cool. But pirates,

I like pirates. I don't drink at all. I never

drink alcohol. Captain Morgan makes me want to

drink rum because he looks so cool. So ninjas

make the better marketing tool but you like Captain

Morgan so who you're voting? Pirates. Alright

so Nate remarkably goes for pirates on this one

after making a pretty good argument for the ninjas.

Matt, well, I know you didn't like the ninja

logo of the food processor or the blade thing,

but overall, how do you feel? Do you like yourselves?

I'm sorry. Matt ran away. Oh, Matt ran away.

Did you hear all that shuffling? A little bit.

Yeah. Dan, you were initially going with pirates.

Are you sticking with pirates? Yeah, I'm thinking

because, you know, if you combine Captain Morgan

and Captain Crunch, you have the breakfast of

champions. Oh, man. So I'm going to get away.

I think I kind of stick with what I said before.

If we were asking who makes the better mascot,

I'm going Pirate's Full Fledge. But as far as

marketing, I just think ninjas give you more

options. I mean, yeah, it's just sticking a name

on a thing. But I think people still have certain

ideas or certain connotations with the word ninja

that can be used in a wider variety of products.

So I'm going with ninjas on this one. Has Matt

found his way back to the mic? Matt has to move

his car. Okay, Matt is moving his car, so we'll

have to get back to his marketing tool a vote.

I'm gonna guess he's gonna go with pirates because

just because of how much he hates the ninja logo.

I don't think we can take your guess. No, it's

pirates! You've shown a particular bias. What

a job for pirates, right now! up to this point

in the contest uh... but moving on while we wait

for Matt to our thirteenth category which is

uh... a fun one and I guess this is ultimately

what a lot of people see this as since it is

a wars episode so we might as well get right

down to it one -on -one remember one -on -one

who wins in a fight a pirate or a ninja Dan?

I don't think it's really a question really I

mean ninjas are born and bred the fight and combat

and you know pirates are more so they're You

know, they're more they're not really great one

-on -one fighters They're more dirtier and you

know, they'll go after the the less trained fighters

You know, they're all about pillaging and all

that great stuff. So one -on -one. It's really

it's really simple I don't think it's they're

gonna be quick and easy, honestly Nate agree

or disagree? Yeah Have like you know how like

what we think of as pirates as Like being you

know super awesome and like that's what you think

um I in my mind. It's like times infinity. They're

like pirates are like like the strongest humans

in the world and you know they can breathe underwater

and They they just have mountains of gold everywhere

everywhere they go um They're like the greatest

things ever, right? So, in my mind, a pirate

would win, but in real life, a ninja would win

in like a second. He'd just be like, in like

a second. Yeah, it wouldn't even be a fight.

It'd be sad. That is hilarious. Yeah, I mean,

I agree. I mean, I think you could even put the

ninja like on the pirate ship with like turbulent

waters, and he's still going to win. is he would

pull underneath into the ship and just hide in

a corner and they just pick people off. Dead,

dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. Yeah, it

might not even need to be a one -on -one fight.

You could probably literally put one ninja on

a pirate ship and the ninja would be the one

that survives. Yes, in real life. In my head,

no. The pirates would befriend the ninja and

then everyone would sing a song. They would get

the ninja drunk and then make him walk the plank.

No, everyone would be happy. You'd have a pirate

ninja, and then it all wins. Oh, I love it. I

love it. And we've got a whole different thing

going on here. I want it. This road trip has

turned a different course in now. Yeah, I mean,

I don't even think we need Matt for this one.

If he said pirates won on a one -on -one fight,

all his votes would be canceled out. OK. So this

one's an interesting one. I don't know where

this one's going to go here, but I thought it

would be... I mean, we talked about when their

heyday was and when their prime was as far as,

you know, ninjas back in the 1300s and 1600s

and pirates back in the 1600s and 1700s. But

there could be pirates still today. There could

be ninjas still today and different. I mean,

there's piracy. There are pirates in the Middle

East in the waters and doing stuff. I mean, we

just watched a movie about it last year, didn't

we? Looking into the future, if we were talking

about who could make a comeback or in real life

or in pop culture or whichever way you want to

take this question, but who has the brighter

future in our world? Pirates or ninjas, Nate?

Matt's back by the way. Hi, Matt. Hi. Sorry.

That's right. We're going to get your vote on

marketing tools in a second. Well, actually,

let's do it right now. Who did you technically

vote for in the marketing system here? Well,

the one argument that I had that I didn't get

mentioned before I had to leave was that pirates

are usually used in a teen format. But if you

think about it, ninjas have a costume. They have

a uniform. And pirates don't. I don't know why

that is. I'm gonna vote pirates, I don't know,

I think they work better. Put them down for pirates!

Just in marketing, like, because I mean, you

know, rum, like, you can always slap a pirate

out of rum and it's gonna, you know, it's gonna

work. Like ninjas, yeah, I think you have to

stretch more. Alright, well we have to ask you

a very important question, Matt. And how you

answer this question could drastically change

what we've been doing so far. And you don't even

get to explain yourself, really. One -on -one

who wins in a fight, a pirate or a ninja. I don't

get to explain myself? Just say it and then go.

Ninja. Well, if you would have said pirate, we

were going to cancel all your votes for the entire

episode. Why's that? Because we said you could

put one ninja on an entire pirate ship and the

ninja would still survive. Probably, yeah. No,

if you want to explain your scenario. I mean,

there's two things. It's always the argument

who would win between Dr. Doom and Batman, and

it's like, well... who's gonna initiate, Dr.

Doom's gonna initiate, and that gives him the

leg up. The ninja chooses when he strikes. The

ninja doesn't, the pirate doesn't choose. So

it's automatically, in a one -on -one, it's gonna

go to the ninja, because he's gonna choose when

to attack. But then, yeah, two, ninjas are trained

to kill. Like, pirates aren't trained to do shit.

They just learn on the fly. Yeah, dude, they

make it up. And, you know, that's admirable and

fun. It's just not gonna win you a fight. Alright,

so we were clean sweep on the one -on -one fight

thankfully Even Nate couldn't make an argument

for pirates on that one except for in his head

So now we were on to category 14, which was who

had the brighter future Matt We're talking about

however you want to take this question in real

life and pop culture who could make the comeback

maybe But who has a brighter future pirates or

ninjas and Nate we were talking to you first.

Yeah Now I I hope to see more pirates in the

future and they Kind of with well with like Assassin's

Creed and some other video games They seem to

be getting a bit more video games being made

about them And then just had that kind of their

heyday in the 90s in the late 80s And they're

not as prevalent nowadays, but or could you make

the argument that the Pirates of the Caribbean

film? franchise has Already coming on and it's

gonna all right simmer down now and in a week

or two we have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

movie coming out that could bring in a new phase

of ninja love. Is that what you're hoping this

movie does? God. No. I hope the movie flops.

Can we all agree that we hope that movie flops?

Yeah. I hope it's good. It's not gonna be. I

don't want a bad Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

property thing. Yeah What was the other one TJ

the third movie? Oh, yeah, so we all forget about

that Didn't happen but no much like Michael Bay's

entire life It's hard to say though who has the

brighter future in real life Neither in pop culture.

I want it to be pirates and that's my choice

You're the new TFG on my oh, come on. That's

really mean That's on good fun you don't understand

I have been obsessing over pirates since like

Yeah, basically like I've loved pirates for my

whole life and you were like, hey Nate We want

to talk about pirates and I was like, yeah, what

else you talking about ninjas? I was like whatever

pirates Here we go! Dan, who has the brighter

future? Ugh, jeez. I guess if you're thinking,

like, logically, and I guess the future question

is, like, how far in the future, if you're thinking,

like, really far thousands of years in the future

and... Space pirates! Exactly, you're thinking,

like, space pirates, then... Or like a post -apocalyptic

world, I guess pirates might have to come back.

Yeah. Though, ninjas might be among us and we

just don't know, so, I mean, that's the issue.

I mean... Ninjas may have never gone away. Exactly.

I mean, space ninjas sounds cool, I just don't

know how it would work. They'd find a way, though.

How do you not see a space ninja coming? There's

the color of space around him at all times. That

is a hard one. I mean, they are cracking down

on the current -day pirates. They're not getting

a real good name. That's the thing. They're cracking

down on the modern -day pirates. I don't hear

anything about the modern -day ninjas. The modern

-day pirates are doing it wrong. They're doing

it wrong. They're being way too killy. Way less

songs on the open sea. There's no Patch the Pirate.

I think they're doing life exactly how the other

ones did, only more successful, and that you

can see them and not fantasize and, uh, you know.

They have, like, automatic weaponry. You just

answered my question for me, I think, Nate. Oh,

good. Because pirates have been doing stuff all

wrong. They've been out there making headlines

and being too killy, as you say. And so, you

know, stuff's cracking down on them. I think

ninjas all along have been waiting in the shadows,

waiting in the wings for their moment to make

a comeback. so i think i mean these are the ones

that are coming in the future they've just been

waiting for the right moment and they have not

been being to kill you make a headline so that

they could sneak up on us and also to be out

there and then we're all we've been taken over

by the foot clan and i don't know what happened

after that so uh... deal a lot of uh... to dvd

so i think it's just on this one they can go

with pirates uh... map uh... well I don't know

I'm thinking like I feel like like when you take

away the romanticism modern pirates are better

than classical pirates because a classical pirate

like would take a ship right you know take a

British ship say they'd raid the storage they'd

probably they'd kill anyone who wasn't worth

much and then anyone who is worth much they'd

ransom back right if they could and that's about

it Like, whereas the modern pirates, they're

like, OK, we're going to ransom the ship back

to you, because we know that that's worth millions.

And we're going to ransom the crew back to you.

We're not going to kill very many. I don't feel

like they're killing that many more. And they've

got all these cool new technological things.

Like, do you remember a few years ago when the

pirates had the sound weapon? Like, that's some

prototype stuff. Where did the pirates get that?

They probably took it because they're pirates.

Right. And so it's like, I don't know. I feel

like pirates have not gone away. Like I feel

like ninjas might have gone away. They might

be waiting. They might be waiting for the right

time to strike. It's a ninja thing to do. But

I see pirates, and I know in the future pirates

are huge in future literature. So I think in

the real world, the pirates have a way brighter

future. Although if you talk about just like

which one's gonna have a pop culture resurgence,

I don't know. I think ninjas. Have a really good

argument there because just the reasons have

said like Pirates of the Caribbean's on its way

out. Yeah and like fighting movies are kind of

in right now. We've had the raid. So I am confused

Matt as to who you're voting for. Me too. What

does Dan say? Dan you can give your vote while

Matt's trying to make a decision because I think

he has a good argument on both sides. Well we

did have two really good pirate movies last year

with Captain Phillips and hijacking which was

like a Dutch film but so there may be a possibility

we'll get even more pirate movies maybe not necessarily

like more modern pirate movies there's that possibility

but if we're thinking about to have a couple

Peter Pan movies thank you that's awesome because

that's what we need yeah well there you go I

guess if you're I guess if you're thinking we're

a world the fact that a lot of the tools of the

ninja can kind of be taken away with technology

like heat sensors and motion sensors. I mean,

I guess unless ninjas are able to get by that.

But since we're kind of a public culture network

and we've been looking at more public culture

things, I think if you're looking straight at

public culture with things like the turtles coming

out and the fact that ninjas like we've talked

about are kind of easy to just bring up and their

quality is a little bit timeless, they're still

existing in things like comic books, I would

say the brighter future lies with ninjas. Oh

comic book angle that's a good one too hadn't

thought about that Matt does that help your argument

or are you still or help your decision? No Like

cuz it's like, I don't know, you know, like we

were talking I can't think of a good I can't

think of a good comic book pirate. Oh space pirates

space pirate like I don't know of any space kind

of like I think I think of a lot of like Actually,

you don't know Nate That's a good argument. The

Forerunner comic book, Countdown to Adventure,

I believe, was great because she's like a ninja,

essentially. And she gets on this pirate ship

and she just kills the captain. And I was like,

you can't just kill the captain. And she's like,

I'm a perfect warrior. Anyone thinks they can

be a better captain than me, meet me down in

the cargo hold, and we'll have a fight to see

who can beat me to be captain. And then she waits

10 seconds and goes. vent the cargo hold and

then she just leads this pirate ship through

space and it's amazing nice um and and i think

you know i've got more pirate toys than than

uh ninja toys really and i think that and they're

newer too like i think of the toys coming out

Like, the Black Flag Assassin's Creed came out

with, like, eight different toys or whatever.

Whereas, like, you see one, like, a Naruto, which

is a shitty ninja anyway, or a Ninja Gaiden toy

coming out here and there. Yeah, Naruto is crappy.

Where's bright orange and he's got stupid hair?

The worst ninja ever. Yeah, seriously. So the

brighter future belongs to who, Matt? I'm gonna

give it to pirates. Yay! Everyone loves pirates!

Everyone loves pirates! I feel like I would feel

better about good pirate movies, and if you think

about it, there's two Peter Pan movies and one

Ninja Turtle movie, so it even looks like it's

gonna be more pirate movies. And they're all

gonna be bad. Alright, so our final category

in these Wars episodes, sometimes we do 20 categories,

sometimes we do 10, this one we're doing 15,

and the final one is always just our personal

pick. So ultimately, do you prefer ninjas or

pirates? We're not going to have to talk to Nate

at all in this section, because his vote has

already been cast. We know he's voting for pirates.

But ultimately, do you prefer ninjas or do you

prefer pirates, Matt? Ultimately. It can be taking

everything we've talked about, all the different

angles. Ultimately, who do you prefer? The hard

one. It's gonna be close. Regardless of which

one I go for, I've got love for the other one

entirely. No love lost over this podcast. And

I think, I think like even if I had... I'm gonna

be very interested to see where the tallies finally

fall at the end of this. Because I feel like

I tried to split, I tried to split down the middle,

I split down the middle because it's that close.

I think I'm going to vote ninjas. Alright. Dan,

who do you ultimately prefer, ninjas or pirates?

Like Nate said, it's very close, but I think

personally I prefer the ninja lifestyle for me.

Two votes ninja. Nate, are you getting worried?

Shut up. Alright. I like, like you guys said,

I like a lot of aspects of both. You know, I

like my Monkey Island games, I like the whole

idea of pirates in a lot of like, you know, especially

the movies, Princess Bride, Goonies, all that

stuff. But something about it, like, if you would

ask me at any point in my life, and play the

scenario, you can be a ninja or a pirate, which

one are you gonna be? I think nine times out

of ten I'm gonna say I'd be a ninja. Who doesn't

want to be a ninja? Besides Nate, who does not

want to be a ninja? I mean, I'd be a ninja, but

I'd be the most piratey ninja ever. So I too,

ultimately, if I had to pick just one, I would

go with a ninja. Nate, make your argument. We

know who it's for, but make your argument. Why

are pirates better? Why do you love pirates so

much? Because they're awesome and they don't

take shit from nobody. No, I don't know. I just

like them a lot. They're cool. That was a terrible

argument. They, they, like, um, I like them because

they are cool and they are fun and yes. And pirates.

And arrrrrr. Like, like, like, like, ninjas don't

say arr. They don't say anything. Yeah, exactly.

They don't say crap. Pirates. They don't eat

too. Oh yeah. They don't get a catchphrase. Because,

because my pirates punch sharks and explode ships.

With their fists, I guess that I guess that it's

close for me. Like he's got good argument Well,

he doesn't have good arguments, but pirates do

argh Alright, well, we're gonna take a quick

second tally up the votes and we will be right

back with the verdict for this GCR and wars and

ultimately who is better pirates or Ninja, so

we right back What? Open the locks! surprises

me when we do these wars episode is we have yet

to have a complete like blowout which I guess

is we don't try to set up categories that would

be complete blowouts but I just would expect

at some point for us to have two categories that

seem like they're close but when you break it

down one just wins in the land side but we've

ultimately had a lot of very close battles and

this is no exception we had 15 different categories

ultimately there are only four of us on the pod

which normally we try to have an odd number on

the podcast to avoid category ties, but usually

in that case we can shift from the actual category

numbers to the specific votes. But within these

15 categories, we actually had three ties. We

were split on who has a brighter future, we were

split on the personality traits, and we were

split on who makes better cartoons. So we didn't

have necessarily a winner in any of those three

categories, which leaves us with 12 categories

that we actually had winners on. Um, uniforms

went to pirates, symbols went to pirates, movies,

Lego sets, who lived in a cooler time period,

and who has a better marketing tool all went

to the pirates. Who has better weapons? Who makes

better video games? Who has the better fictional

characters? Who leads the better life? Who wins

in a one -on -one fight? And our personal favorite

picks... all went to the Ninjas. For those of

you keeping a tally in your head, out of those

12 categories that actually had winners, it ends

up 6 for the Pirates and 6 for the Ninjas. In

the case of a tie in GCR and War's history, then

we go to the individual tally vote. So a 4 to

nothing vote would mean more than a 3 to 1 if

we only have 4 people. So if we do that, We did

have a couple of sweeps. We had a perfect sweep

for symbols for pirates and a perfect sweep for

legos for pirates. We also had a perfect sweep

for ninjas for fictional characters and a perfect

sweep for ninjas in a one -on -one fight. It's

the whole kissing your sister scenario that we're

dealing with here because if you go to the overall

tally votes, which there was 60 votes cast, we

end up with 30 votes on the pirate side. 30 votes

So somehow amongst these 15 categories and 60

votes We can't decide who wins this match between

pirates and ninjas So that means we need your

guys's help We need your thoughts on the boards

too because we have to have an official winner

Crowned in this episode at some point So if you

go to the website post, and you can comment on

this episode and give us basically the answer

to our 15th category, which who do you personally

pick as your favorite? Who should win this battle,

I guess? Or just look at it overall. If you were

to tally up all 15 categories, who would you

have picked more of? I didn't realize how I was

going to vote in this. I knew Nate was somewhat

of a pirate fan. But if we break it down here,

Nate had Pirates winning 13 out of the 15 times.

So he was 13 to 2 for Pirates. I didn't realize

I was going to be the offsetting one. I voted

12 to 3 for Ninjas. Matt voted 8 to 7 for Pirates.

And Dan voted 9 to 6 for Ninjas. So if you were

to personally go through all these categories

as a listener, How would you have voted? Who

would have won more categories? And who would

you have picked as winner? And we will leave

this open up until the airing of our next Wars

episode. When we do the next Wars episode at

the very beginning, we will crown a winner for

this episode based on user comments on the website

post. So get your comments in there. Final thoughts

going around the table. We've never had this

happen, but let's start with Dan. What's your

final thoughts on the whole Pirates vs. Ninja

thing? I'm surprised it was that close. For some

reason in my head, I was thinking Bryant were

going to take it, but I guess that didn't happen.

Because Nate was so outspoken, we thought he

carried more votes than he did. That's rather

incredible. So yeah, I'm on Team Ninja, so vote

Ninja. Vote with your heart, I guess. I don't

know. I think it would be interesting for people

to go through and pick a winner in each one and

see how they end up. You barely picked Ninjas,

Matt barely picked Pirates, and obviously Nate

and I were a little bit more decided on, I guess,

who we liked for most of these. Nathan, are you

upset or not? I know there are going to be some

people that are upset that we didn't have a fifth

member or a third member, and they're going to

say I'm never allowed to do four members again

on this, but I don't care. I think it would be

a great idea. You know, to let the listeners

decide. It's great. It wasn't planned that way.

Indecision's great. Nate, what do you think overall

on this whole episode? I think pirates are still

the best, and will always be the best, and vote

pirate. And Nate's going to be sending messages

and trying to get people to go to the page to

vote for pirates. Matt, what do you think overall?

Oh, I'm going to twitter the crap out of this.

I'm actually going to echo the exact opposite

of what Dan said as as his opposite in the votes

was I thought ninjas were gonna take this I honestly

thought ninjas had this and I'm kind of glad

that they didn't just outright win like I was

I was worried they would I if you had asked me

which one I was probably gonna end up you know

15 categories you're gonna vote a bunch which

one do you think you're gonna end up choosing

I'd have thought I'd be ninjas but honestly I

answered honestly and I think Pirates are great.

I don't know, man. I even have the tally in front

of me. And even though we do take breaks for

me to tally them up, I really mostly already

have them done at that point. I'm just more checking

for errors and stuff. And having the tally before

me and seeing both the category totals and overall

totals, I mean, it was somewhat close throughout,

but I was pretty... confident that Pirates were

going to win throughout the whole time. They

were basically leading almost the entire show.

They were barely leading in the category as the

entire show, but they were somewhat in control

of the overall votes. But Ninjas got nine out

of the last 12 votes. in overall tallies, which

really made a comeback for him at the end. So

I was kind of expecting Pirates to win, just

kind of seeing how things were going. And thinking

that Nate was going to be so much for Pirates,

and I figured the rest of us were going to be

somewhat in the middle. So I thought Pirates

were going to win. I didn't realize I was voting

Ninja so much. So I guess I'm a big fan of the

Ninja, and people should vote that. But you're

going to have to let us know. What? No, don't

do that. Vote Pirate. I like when you said that

the Pirates won, or yeah, Ninjas won nine of

the last twelve votes. I'm just thinking like,

that's because Nate voted three times in those.

No, he voted for two of them, you voted for one

on the brighter future. Come back for the ninjas

to tie it up and send it to the listeners So

I would like to thank all of the debuts here

for GCNWars I'd like to thank Dan and Matt and

Nate for all joining me here in this discussion

on Pirates or Ninjas We had a lot of fun. Hopefully

you guys had fun listening to it and Thanks for

listening, and I guess we need your help. So

post, please. And there's other ways to get in

contact and leave feedback for the show, too.

Obviously, the most important one for this one

is to visit the website, www .geekcastradio .com.

Find this post and give us your winner. You can

follow us on Twitter. Geekcast Radio is the network

name. Mine is at Optimus Solo. Dan, yours is?

At Movie Revolt. Nate, yours is? At Adolfo Shabadoo.

And be prepared, if you follow him, you're going

to get a lot of tweets about voting for pirates.

Matt, what is your Twitter? I'm at FridleyScent.

So we hope you enjoyed this episode of GCR and

Wars, and that you'll join us next time when

we once again pit two geek topics against each

other in an ultimate battle royale. For now,

I'm Optimus Solo with... Dan, moverable. Who

else? Adolfo? Matthew Fridley. Hashtag vote pirates.

Alright, we will see you next time when we go

into the realms of space for a new GCRN Wars.

Be sure to rate our show on iTunes and leave

us feedback. Follow us on Twitter at Geekcast

Radio. Become a fan of us on Facebook by searching

Geekcast Radio Network. You can email us at feedback

at geekcastradio .com. Call the voicemail line

502 -526 -5821. Please remember to tell us to

show you what we're leaving the message for,

and your name. So until next time, Atleastra

Keekendew. Well, one thing I will say, that swamp

certainly does keep you on your toes. This will

all soon be but a happy memory. Robert's ship

Revenge is anchored at the far end. And I, as

you know, am Roberts. How's that possible? Since

he's been marauding 20 years and you only left

me five years ago. I myself am often surprised

at life's little quirks. See, what I told you

before about saying please was true. It intrigued

Roberts, as did my descriptions of your beauty.

Finally, Roberts decided something. Said, all

right, Wesley, never had a ballet. You can try

it for tonight. I'd most like to kill you in

the morning. Three years, he said that. Good

night, Wesley. Good work. Sleep well. I'd most

like to kill you in the morning. It was a fine

time for me. I was learning to fence, fight,

anything anyone would teach me. And Roberts and

I eventually became friends. And then it happened.

What? Go on. Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted

to retire. So he took me to his cabin, told me

his secret. I am not the Dreadpire Roberts, he

said. My name is Royer. I inherited the ship

from the previous Dreadpire Roberts, just as

you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited

it from was not the real Dreadpire Roberts either.

His name was Cumberbough. The real Roberts has

been retired 15 years and living like a king

in Patagonia. Thank you. Then he explained that

the name was the important thing for inspiring

the necessary fear. You see, no one would surrender

to the Dreadpire of Weston. So we sailed ashore.

I took on an entirely new crew and he stayed

aboard for a while as first mate. All the time

calling me Roberts. Once the crew believed, he

left the ship and I had been Roberts ever since.

Except now that we're together, I shall retire

and hand the name over to someone else. Is everything

clear to you? Let's get this over with. Every

enemy I've met, I've annihilated. Oh yeah? Well,

you fight like a cow. No, no, no, no. That's

not right at all. What? On this sea, we fight

it a little differently. On the sea, all your

insults and threats have to rhyme! What? So when

I say every enemy I've met I've annihilated,

you say... I once found some gold, but it was

just electroplated? No! You say, with your breath,

I'm sure they are suffocated! Let's try that

again, shall we? You're as repulsive as a monkey

and a negligee! Uh... I'm waiting! I... uh...

I... Just as I thought. You're an amateur with

a sword. Give me that map. Here. Take it. That's

your map? Yeah. As soon as I throw pirating these

waters, it's off to Blood Island. Until we meet

again, this year three food. I've got to get

that map back or we'll never find Blood Island.

Thanks, guys. You were a world of help back there.

It was a rousing battle, Captain. Aye, and it

reminds me of a song. We're a band of vicious

pirates, assailing out to sea. When you hear

a gentle singing, you'll be sure to turn and

flee. Oh, this is just ridiculous. Come on, men.

We've got to recover that map! That pirate will

be done for when he falls into our trap! We're

a club, a tune for rovers! We can sing in every

class! We can even hit the high notes! It's just

too bad we're too in depth! A pirate I was meant

to be! Trim the sails and roam the sea! Let's

go defeat that evil pirate! We know he's sure

to lose, cause we know just where to fire it!

We're thieving balladeers! A gang of cup -sort

monks! To fight us off, you won't need guns!

Just jolly good ear plugs! A pirate I was meant

to be! Trim the sails and roam the sea! Less

singing, more sailing! When we defeat our wicked

foe, his ship he will be bailing! You will get

the nasty whackin' If you disrespect our singin'

We will feed you to a crack in the pie Where

I was meant to be Trim the sails and roam the

sea Alright crew, let's get to work Our vocation's

a thing we love, a thing we'd never shirk We'll

fight you in the harbour. We'll battle you on

land. Oh, and you'll meet singing pirates. There'll

be more than you can stand. Oh, that was a good

one. No, it wasn't. Stop, stop, stop! The brass

is what we'll polish and the deck is what we'll

mop. You say you're nasty pirate -steaming, thieving,

bad bushwhackers. From what I've seen, I tell

you, you're not pirates, you're just slack. The

pirate I was meant to be Trimmed the sails and

roamed the sea I'm getting so sick of you guys

and your rhyming. We're ready to set sail, or

the cannons need a priming! We're troublesome

corsairs! We've come to steal your treasures!

We would shoot you on the downbeat! But we gotta

rest my measures! What pirate I was meant to

be Trim the sails and roam the sea! No time for

song, we've got to move! The battle will be long,

but our courage we will prove! We're a pack of

scurvy sea dogs! Have we pity not a drum? We

only roast a garlic dancing from the diaphragm

A pirate I was meant to be Trim the sails and

roam the sea We'll surely avoid scurvy if we

all eat an orange And, um... Well, uh... Door

hinge? No, no Guess the song's over then Guess

so Okay, back to work Well, gee, I feel a little

guilty now.