Bloodrayne Review

Hey, this is Greg burger and you are listening

to the geek cast radio network Hello and welcome

to another episode of the cinema geeks I am one

of your cinema geeks optimists solo and joining

me for today's episode is movie revolt Dan. Hello,

sir Hello. Also joining us is Hard Candy Mandy.

Hey, howdy, hey. Hey, howdy, hey. And the last

of our four -some is Mr. Fridley Scent. I want

to make a reference, but this movie doesn't leave

me with enough to make a reference. Like, uh,

hi. Excellent. If you don't move from your chair,

you can be Ben Kingsley. There we go. If you

haven't been able to pick up from our excitement,

we are delving back into our video game spotlight

today for another review of another video game

film. This time we're looking at the 2005 German

-American fantasy action horror film, Blood Reign,

directed by Yue Bo and starring Kristanna Loken,

Michael Madsen, Billy Zane. And a few other people,

Meatloaf, Michelle Rodriguez, and Ben Kingsley,

to name a couple, I guess, that people would

recognize. So definitely a lot more notable names

that we'll get into for this UA Bowl film. But

before we get to the actual film, Matt, what

is your experience with Blood Reign Games? Oh,

right. Long and storied. I played the original

Blood Rain for the PS2. I rented it back when

video game rental stores were like a common place.

And loved it. Just loved this game. Because it's

like you're this vampire. You're running around

Nazi Germany just murdering Nazis. And then like

they get, you know, they start scaling up and

they start becoming Nazis because like your dad's

like Hitler's top guy or something like it's

just crazy fun very high -paced action i played

the crap out of that first game but i i i was

so young i couldn't i didn't have a job i couldn't

buy it and so one of the first things i set out

to do after i got employed was collect that game

which is how i first saw the movie is because

i was searching for the game and uh Like at this

time I was like I want to get on a PC PCs are

better like I've got a way better PC I don't

want to plug my ps2 back in because I think we're

done with that things lifestyle and I found out

that blood rain 2 Came for free with like any

copy of the original movie So I bought the movie

just to get the game and got going into watching

it by my friend because he's like he bought the

movie Why don't we just watch the movie and it's

like cuz I've heard all these terrible things

That was how I first saw the movie the first

time so I played the first game and the second

game I haven't beat either of them, but I've

played a lot of both and Beyond the game or the

movies I've actually bought a couple of the comics

and read the comics, too So you are definitely

the authority so far on this subject. Amanda,

did you play any of the Blood Rain games back

in the day? No, and I have no idea why because

this seems like something I definitely want to

do. You want to do still? Yeah, I want to like

kill zombies and be a vampire and shit. Alright.

Or not zombies, I mean Nazis. Nazis, it depends.

We're talking about the game or the movie. Anyway,

Dan, what's your experience with the Blood Rain

game franchise? It's one of the games I've never

played myself, but I had friends that played

it and I observed them enjoying killing Nazis

with a vampire. I think the reason I didn't really

play it is because I didn't have a PlayStation

2 at the time. Outside of that, really, no reason.

This is as far as I go in my blood rain repertoire.

It was also on the GameCube. I also did not have

a GameCube, but I had a Dreamcast and then Xbox.

Just rub it in. Yeah, I'd rub it in with Dreamcast.

I was one of those eight people. That's hilarious

Which I had envied at one point because didn't

they have a different version of the WWF Royal

Rumble game? Anyways, that's going down a different

path But yeah Sega had a different characters

that you could play for that game So I always

envied the eight people that did have the dream

cast. I am Less knowledgeable than all of you

guys because I don't even remember the game being

in existence. So I didn't play it I didn't know

anybody that played it. I Have no clue. So I'm

gonna defer all of my game comments to Matt and

Dan as far as that one goes. Let's get into it

a little bit as far as, Matt, if the actual film

represents the game at all. You did mention that

the game has vampires killing Nazis. The film,

however, is set in 18th century Romania. How

do you think it lines up with the game? Well,

in the game, your father, Kagan, is Hitler's

top aide. and he dies in Romania in this movie.

Oh, hey, by the way, we're gonna spoil this movie.

I'm just not even. I guess - Remember, you gotta

remember the motto, Matt. The motto is we're

watching these films so nobody else has to. So

I think spoiling is a benefit. Oh, man. Like,

I - So if I had to say one thing that's been

a through line with the Blood Rains series, and

I can't remember if this actually comes up in

the game or not, but rape is like, hey Kagan,

rape's a blood rains mom, seems to be the one

thing. If you go into the comic book, if you

just buy any one of the comic books, which I

think is digital webbing, which is not a huge

print, if you open the front, blood raid is a

half vampire because her mom was raped by a vampire

is how each in every comic opens up and so that's

the one through line i guess you get and uh...

like you get it in all of the movies including

the third one where they show like that they've

re -shoot the scene without ben kingsley and

show like six times so that's one thing it has

in common with the games Anything else? I mean,

she's a red -headed half -vampire that fights

with swords. Like, it's not too... It's not beyond

pos... It's like, this one is closer than the

whatever Mario was trying to do. Or Street Fighter,

which had no fighting in any streets or anything

like that. Like, it's... Like, here's the thing.

This one doesn't... Like, this one half tries.

which is more like I guess doom kind of tries

to it's like doom level of being close like it's

like hey you got some of the fixtures but you

really didn't get the spirit right that seems

to be something that we haven't had have we had

a movie that's done both we I think we've either

like had like the the heart of the game or some

of the physical characteristics of the game I

don't know if we've had anybody that's really

conquered both Aspects Dan from the limited amount

that you were able to observe the game or hear

your friends talking about game the game or whatever

Did you feel like the the film reminded you of

the game? I? Mean she looks like the character,

but like I for what I can remember I felt like

the character She was a little bit more badass

and like she felt in this Okay, i don't she's

kind of like a wimp in a way like i don't know

like she's like she in in the game she would

obviously you're the She would kick the crap

out of everyone and she would like have all these

cool special moves and then she just kind of

just Exists, so that was the one thing that seemed

kind of weird to me. Um, but again, I don't know

if that's like In regarding to the story because

I don't remember the story whatsoever All right,

let's get into the actual film then and break

it down as much as we can I guess it's a 95 minute

film Obviously, like I said, it was released

in 2005. It's the the latest in the UA bowl portion

of the games We've had a house of the dead and

alone in the dark and now we got blood rain Those

are the only three so far that we've had for

you a ball right or am I missing one? I think

those are like three. So we can kind of maybe

think about them in relation to those two films.

And obviously, the most recent film that I watched

was Doom, so that would be the most recent one

that we talked about that we could compare it

to. Film -wise, Dan, what did you think of the

characters? Because we have a lot of bigger -name

actors. We have a lot of notable individuals

playing different characters. We talked about

Michelle Rodriguez, Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen,

Billy Zane. Did that help or hurt, especially

compared to Alone in the Dark and House of the

Dead, where we have random person one and random

half -celebrity two not trying to diss who has

a Christian Slater? And Stephen Dorff. Stephen

Dorff, or whatchamacallit's brother. I can't

even remember his name. Clint Howard. Clint Howard.

So we've definitely even amped it up a bit more.

Did that help? Did it hurt? What did you think

of the actors involved in this? Wow. Yeah, seeing

these actors, all I can think of is... How does

he get these you will get these actors to willingly

be in these movies like how's that even like

Ben Kingsley is an Oscar winning actor that's

highly regarded and what he puts himself through

in this is just mind boggling to me. The performances

overall were I think worse than the other movies

with like B level actors. Michael Madsen is like

sleeping half the time. Michelle Rodriguez has

the worst. Whatever accent she was going for

ever in the history of the world like I usually

don't care about accents But like like why even

try just just don't even do it It's the difference.

Well, she was legitimately taking this serious

and trying to like make a name for herself through

this right like she's trying to like propel herself

to bigger and better things and Compared to like

Michael Madsen and well, um, she did propel herself

to through all of the Fast and Furious movies.

Anywho But the actions overall would it was just

In this clearly Nobody like this. I don't know

how it happened either because this is not like

it's the first film like That you the UA bulls

done like I could understand if it was the first

one He was doing and it's a video game film and

someone's like, okay. Yeah, I'll try this like

We've had two of his films already like we've

had two video game film adaptations from you

a bowl that collectively if you combine them

have a I think a 5 % on Rotten Tomatoes. That's

if you add their percents together So it is kind

of questionable and it's also very clear that

at least with Michael Manson and Ben Kingsley

that they were either tricked into doing this

or they thought it was going to be something

else because they are not even like they're only

there physically and I don't even think Ben Kingsley

was there 100 % physically. Like, Matt and I,

I think we were debating this as we were watching.

I'm convinced that Ben Kingsley was only on set

for them to film for less than a half hour. Like

that's how much time I think he gave them to

shoot his scenes And I think that's explains

why he is always sitting in the chair and the

immense minutes of that words was costumes and

makeup So yeah, yeah, but like he literally sits

in that same position almost the entire film

And then I'm pretty sure they filmed him as he

was walking out and that's his scene where he's

walking in and does the fight Like I don't understand

Ben Kingsley at all in this film Matt I know

you were kind of catching up on catching on that

too as we were watching Oh man, it was very much

just like Ben Kingsley's like, I'm giving you

one take and it's going to be as monotone as

I can get it. It's so weird. Like, um, that said,

I don't quite know how movable like funds these.

I know that there was a, it was some weird tax

loophole that's since been closed and that's

why he doesn't get funding for movies anymore.

So maybe he just offered all these people a lot

of money. I mean like Hell, dude, if you're meatloaf

a day and some weird German guy calls you and

says, like, I'm going to surround you with a

bunch of naked ladies and give you half a million

dollars, you want to be in my movie? Like, yeah,

you take that. I don't know how he got that.

I didn't know he was. I didn't know he was in

this. I'm like, wait, like I'm thinking, wow,

the crazy actors have stopped and suddenly meatloaf

comes on screen. And at one point, Matt, what

was the observation that you had of Ben Kingsley

at one point? um doesn't he change like at one

point he doesn't have a wig on or something oh

yeah he's isn't he like super bald for just like

30 seconds of the film like he's he's got this

white powdered wig on that like everyone knows

it's a wig but you just assume that you're not

supposed to in canon know it's a wig because

like it's just a terrible ufobolm film and then

like For just one shot he's not wearing the wick.

They don't show him put it on, they don't show

him taking it off, but just in one shot he's

got it. And it's like, I don't know, is that

supposed to be like a weird Easter egg? Was that

a mess up on set? Or is that like a thing? No,

that was Ben Kingsley. That was Ben Kingsley

saying, they're like, hey, you accidentally took

that off for that take, and he's like, I don't

care. He's like, we're not doing it again. I

told you one take, uva. Amanda, you haven't spoken

yet of the characters. Did you love any? Did

you hate them? What did you think of some of

these? I really liked the cast, but I expected

more of you guys. Michelle Rodriguez, you did

not disappoint. Yeah, she's not disappointed

she was she was great She was great as she was

morphing into scenes and out of scenes She's

with this group that she that then she's what

then she's not you have no idea where she's going

where the bitch has been She's just elusive Just

as elusive as her accent because it comes and

goes as much as she does So yeah, in the weird

random sex scene in the jail cell between Rain

and whatever that other dude's name is, that

was weird. So the exchange between the characters

was even awkward throughout. So yeah, characters

were... I like the vampires Like that was a crazy

cool first vampire kill that they did like they

just shot that dude in the fucking street I think

that the the vampire transformations were pretty

cool So I always say them as characters are my

faves my favorite character was Michael Madsen

there I'm just gonna go with it. What the hell

was that? That has to be one of the worst wigs

ever worn in a movie of all time. There's no

way that's even remotely believable. Well, have

you seen Joe Dirt? Okay, calm down. That's intentional.

Were they intentionally making this look like

it didn't belong to this human being? I was gonna

say, in Joe Dirt, they reference it like, my

mama said my skull won't fix, right? And this

is just like... Yeah, I'm a shitty version of

Calm Meanie, and I'm gonna stab this vampire

in the streets. Also, my hair, what's up? Alright,

let's shift away from characters. Let's get into

some of the actual nitty -gritty plot points,

action, and all that. I know people are excited

to talk about that. No, the fighting was awful.

Starting with the very first fight, because that

first attack by Reign... Let's make things blurry

and fast -paced so no one can see how bad this

looks. That's the only thing I could think I

kind of even want to start before that because

like man I mentioned like how they stabbed that

one a vampire in the beginning and like people

just act like oh that's just a normal thing that

happens and Like no one reacts to it. It's just

people just move on with their day But then like

the very next scene is like people being amazed

that a vampire exists because they're like burning

with water and I'm so I'm like I don't so that

people are both Amazed by vampires, but also

it's kind of a just got used to them. So I was

really confused Immediately like this makes no

sense. And I don't know why you thought it would

but It also didn't make sense was how fast she

learned how to use those two swords that are

Obviously not your traditional way that you would

hold any type of weapon and she adapted to that

almost instant No, she still suck at it though

in the movie. It's not great super awkward I

don't know if you, Dan, if you were able to,

what version of this you were able to watch because

there is actually an unedited or uncut version

of this which adds... I think they're all unedited.

But the unedited cut or the director's cut or

whatever the hell it's called, I guess has a

whole ending sequence during the credits that

is not available on the other. versions of this

film, and I'm not quite sure why they included

it at all because all it does is literally...

Go ahead, Matt. You're telling me the weird,

like, eyeball recap horse riding scene isn't

in every version of the movie? I don't know if

that is or not, but the whole ending with the

slow motion on all the different action sequences

is apparently not. And all that does is highlight

how bad the visual effects are. Like they added

a feature to this DVD to in slow motion show

you how bad every visual effect action sequence

was in the film. Like, I don't, Dan, did you

see that in the credits or did your version not

have that or did you just turn it off by the

point? I didn't, once the movie was done, I'm

not, I'm not. I don't care if there's an end

scene for the next movie, I'm good, I'm gonna.

I mean, I pieced that immediately. But Dan, that

should play a part in how you review this film.

And anyway... I thought that technically came

before the credits, but after everything was

over. Well, then I need to ask Dan a question,

though. I don't know if he saw the sequence or

not. Were you able just in real time to pick

up on all of the well... choreographed and executed

blood squirting that was going on in this film

the sprain like in the one battle where like

they cut a guy in half and you can clearly see

the fact that he's not really in half and there's

a dude like they're like their legs are right

there those are not but that's like uh trying

to think of like some sports like a hot shots

type of thing how bad it was it was just like

you're not Those legs are so fake. Yeah, I saw

all that I did. What about where they're hacking

up the already dead body and they just keep hacking

at it? Yeah, and burying them alive and everything.

But there's other sequences where they were doing

the cutting off or the shooting or something

and the blood would squirt and you can actually

see, Matt pointed this out too and I could see

it both in this regular time and when they did

the slow motions, but all of the spraying of

the CO2 cartridges or whatever they do. to to

actually make the blood spray like you could

see them igniting like letting off the air it's

like the dudes are full of blood and also co2

like they got hit and like it's just like a puff

of smoke and blood it's oftentimes nowhere near

the the attack point or anything It's highlighted

in this special feature that you can watch and

you can see the slow motion as each one ignites,

but oh my goodness um Matt definitely set the

tone for this as we were watching it because

we like had a question like within the first

like ten seconds and You basically informed us

that nothing in this film is going to make sense

and everything that happens is because the film

needs it to happen And that was definitely true

like characters were definitely telling other

characters things because we the plot needed

them to like it it makes absolutely no sense

why Anybody does anything like half of the time?

Matt you picked up on that obviously right away

Do you have an example or any of the worst offenders

as far as that goes? Oh? Man, I don't even I

don't like no because nothing in this movie like

sticks with you. I've seen the blood rain movie

half dozen times at least. It's what started

the bad movie night that really formed my early

adult years. I show it to anyone and then I can,

because I take a very perverse joy in watching

it. Because it just, literally, like you said,

whatever it needs for this scene is what it needs,

and then the next scene, nothing that happened

in the previous scene matters. Characters hop

around the world. Michelle Rodriguez's super

white dad says at one point, like, I know where

my daughter is. And then he writes a letter to

her, and he's like, I'll never tell you where

my daughter is. Here's where my daughter's location

is. And that's a scene, and it's not played for

laughs. It's just like, the character just says

words. And then Uwe puts it in the movie. Yeah,

he literally is like I will never betray my daughter

and then in the very next scene he's betrayed

her his daughter Billy Zane, that's why Wasn't

the Game of Thrones guy in here too? That's any

movie ever someone with the Game of Thrones guy,

right? Yeah Well, you thought it was the Game

of Thrones guy, but it wasn't. Dan, anything

else from a story standpoint that you want to

point out or anything else that made you confused

or angry? Well, the scene that they kind of stole

from Indiana Jones where she goes in that cave

and she takes that heart of whatever thing. I

don't get the trap that was there. It's not a

big boulder. The room fills up with water, kind

of. But but like if she's just a normal person

it's not like like the waters like ankle deep

and the Magical things she got was supposed to

like make her and it's not even just it's water

in general which makes no sense because Like,

how do you drink blood if you can't have water?

But that's, you know, science. Actually, that's

a classic vampire thing. But isn't it holy water

and not just water? No, no, it's moving water.

Holy water is one thing, but moving water. A

vampire traditionally can't even cross like a

river, like even on a boat, because moving water...

Vampires are... Bogus dude, like just all of

the things that have her weird But yeah, that's

actually a vampire thing but Dracula came over

on a boat. So it's the Lord Yeah, he was in a

casket in some dirt man, didn't you explain that

that vampire lore has no rules? They don't stick

to it. Well, I mean everything Vampires are very

influenced by whatever culture. I gave a weird

vampire lesson while watching this movie with

Kevin and Amanda, because Chinese vampires have

to count any not -containerized rice. They say

the way that you defeat a Chinese vampire is

by pouring out rice and leaving it away from

the city so that they have to count each grain

as they leave the city, because they have to

count all non -containerized rice. So there's

no consistency. Vampires are usually the super

-craziest. impossible creatures that have really

dumb weaknesses like garlic, holy water, sunlight,

crosses. Not being able to enter your house unless

you invite them like they're just full of crazy

insane weaknesses To make them I guess a scary

thing if you're in the woods, but not if you're

in your house And this too like sometimes they

were daywalkers they could be out in the Sun

like it was clearly daylight and other times

like we gotta get out of the Sun and They would

use Sun to defeat some of these things. So they

even within this movie was inconsistent on what

their weaknesses were So you're saying I good

I Did the the sun thing is a really weird thing

I think it's like only direct sunlight in this

in this version of vampires But like either way

no none of the vampires sleep like well rain

sleeps right rain sleeps Because she has to wake

up from a nightmare to fuck that guy that one

time So we know that she sleeps No one else sleeps

in this movie. I don't even know if humans sleep

in this movie Because yeah, like meatloaf is

just hanging out in his sex grotto And then like

they shoot out the window and he dies and so

that's during the day But it is like a weird

situation where it's like the vampire like the

one vampire guy brings rain to the sex grotto

Just on a horse in the day and then they shoot

the mirror the window and then he dies Is it

the fact that the the person who was cast as

blood rain just got the role because they're

the only one that was not Tensely creeped out

by all the scenes that you label just like here's

a random sex scene with no it's even less less

More more pointless than the one that's in alone

in the dark Somehow they're just now in love

and then she goes over and like kisses a woman

for no really reason whatsoever And then that

goes nowhere. It's like I'm gonna just It's like

this movie solely exists to like satisfy his

really kind of odd fan. It's like that was the

one scene that was somewhat shot normal. It's

like you put all the effort in that sequence,

but the action will just kind of just go as is,

you know. You know what's great is, again, I've

said I've seen this movie a number of times.

The second or third time we had or maybe even

the first time we had a moment of like what?

What why is this scene happening? So the first

time I ever listened to directors commentary

was for the blood rain sex scene Because I was

so confused and literally listening to uva bowl

explained how women and urges get work to like

a female Casting director or whatever like like

he goes this scene is she's she's a woman and

she has need she not just vampire but also woman

And this other female on the commentary is like,

ah, huh. Yeah. Okay. And it's just so awkward.

Like, oh no. Even the explanation of the awkward

scene is awkward. Nice. Oh, it makes it worse.

All right. Well, let everybody think about what

they want to say for spinal thoughts. But before

we get there, I have the box office numbers for

everybody here. So, blood rain. just domestically

made 2 .4 million dollars worldwide, you can

bump that 2 .4 up to 3 .6 total. So 3 .6 million

dollars worldwide, budget 25 million. So 25 million

dollar budget worldwide gross of 3 .6. And 20

of that million is probably for Ben Kinkley.

I'm gonna assume. For his F hour. For the second,

yeah. According to Box Office Mojo, it's the

35th ranked video game film when it comes to

the box office. That means, for our purposes

out of the ones we cover, there are only two

worse. So only two films that we're talking about

in this series made less money than Blood Rain,

one of which we already talked about, Double

Dragon, made 0 .1 million dollars less. than

Blood Rain. So Blood Rain was 2 .4 domestic,

Double Dragon was 2 .3, and we have yet to talk

about the winner of the least box office money

as far as the ones that we're covering. As far

as the reception goes, remember we had House

of the Dead at 4 % and we had Alone in the Dark

at 1%. This one, Blood Rain, We'll go back up

to 4%, so 4 % just like House of the Dead, two

fresh reviews out of 51. So a 4 % for the critics,

a 16 % for the audience. Not good, according

to some of the people involved, this is coming

from Michael Madsen, called Blood Reign an abomination,

a horrifying and preposterous movie. He did say

he enjoyed working with Bull though, which so

did ... Billy Zane, so that's kind of odd. A

lot of critics ridiculed Bull. It's because they

didn't want to get punched in the face. I guess

they didn't want to get challenged to a boxing

match. Well, because it was probably the easiest

job in his life. He clearly had all the food

and beer he needed, and he put little effort

in. He kind of showed up and set his four lines

for that day, and I get why. He's like, yeah,

this is the easiest thing he's ever done. It's

not like he's working with Tarantino that's actually

going to make him do something that's not just

show. tiny bit of a motion exactly and apparently

it would have cost more than 25 million dollars

as far as its budget but Bull actually hired

actual prostitutes instead of actors for the

scene with meatloaf to save production costs

so classy yeah that's why you hired them oh man

Matt you've seen the sequels yeah yeah buddy

okay So here we go one note about the sequel

now you had mentioned that in the game like we're

at they're actually fighting Nazis Eventually

the sequels get to that right? Yeah the third

one but But the person that was supposed to do

it in the game has already been killed by then

yes Okay They also changed actress the person

that plays rain in the second and third film

is different than the first one and Both sequels

were also directed by bull. Here's a here's interesting

thing. One of the actors actually appeared in

all three films but played a different character

in all three films so Yeah, he played three completely

different and having nothing to do with each

other characters but appeared in all three films.

So there's that. Last note before I get your

guys final thoughts though, I did get a bunch

of nominations for Razzberries, Golden Razzies

as Amanda likes to call them. It was nominated

for Best Picture or Worst Picture, Worst Director,

Worst Supporting Actor, Worst Supporting Actress.

and a missing one. I think actor or actress,

but you got it now needed for a whole bunch of

Razzie's. Put you guys - Worst screen couple?

No, not worst screen couple. That was not one

of them. It lost worst picture though to a film

called Basic Instinct 2, the sequel to Basic

Instinct. Did anybody know that existed? Anybody?

No. I did not know that either. It lost for worst

actress, Christina Logan lost to Sharon Stone

from Basic Instinct 2, so Basic Instinct 2 racking

up the razzies on that one. Worst supporting

actor, Ben Kingsley was nominated, but lost to

M. Night Shyamalan in Lady in the Water. I actually

think that was his best role in his films. Okay.

Michelle Rodriguez was nominated for Worst Supporting

Actress and Lost to Carmen Electra from Date

Movie and Scary Movie 4. And let's see, Worst

Director, UA Boll, nominated for Worst Director,

Lost to M. Night Shyamalan for Lady in the Water.

The screenplay also was nominated in Lost to

Basic Instinct 2. So that's kind of where things

happen with that. So let's go around the table,

get everybody's final thoughts and grades for

blood rain, starting with Ms. Harkindy -Mandy.

What do you think? Anything else you want to

say, and what grade would you give blood rain?

Some of the notes that we didn't cover that I

have here. Big note here, amazing, Amanda is

the badass with the swords originally. We didn't

mention that, and I'm pretty sad that nobody

brought that up, okay? I also have here these

wigs though. So it's not just Michael Madsen's

wig It was everybody's fucking wig in this including

Ben Kingsley's on and off again and Billy Zane

And Billy Zane Also bitches love necklaces. That's

what I have in my notes. So there's that I I

was really upset with like the fighting in this

like there was plenty of Opportunity for this

to be a super badass like fight movie It's got

a vampire fucking people up with arm swords But

instead we got Michael Madsen with a little arm

crossbow and stuff. So It was still fun to go

through this. Like there was some kind of cool

stuff in it. And I think it was more fun that

we were all watching it as a group with Matt

and Amy and Kevin and I and like just kind of

questioning out loud some things that were happening.

So it was definitely fun as a group, but I think

if it would have just been me, I would have zoned

out. You agree? Man, I'll still give it a four.

Or is that better? Are you putting it ahead of

Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead? Yes.

All right. Matt, what do you think? Final thoughts

on where would you place this one as far as ranking

goes? Oh, I have so much to talk about. Go for

it. We just don't even have time. The second

movie is about Billy the Kid, who's not a child

gunslinger, or even just like a 20 -year -old

gunslinger. He's like a 200 -year -old vampire

who molests children, and that's why he's called

the Kid. um and uh that's weird and gross oh

yeah weird and gross and awful terrible um like

with just incomprehensible scenes where like

his big plan to defeat her is like hey if you

come into my house i've got an elaborate trap

that's going to hang the children um but like

you'll be standing a foot away from them so you

can actually just pull out any one of your swords

and cut them all down from their nooses but you

won't for five, ten minutes. Like, literally,

she walks in the house, the spring traps, she

grabs the rope and she's standing there holding

the rope while he explains his whole plan. Other

action scenes are happening in other places.

And then she goes, OK, I'm done and then cuts

them all down and then fights him. It's really

weird. Also, like, I mean, why make a like, why

make a cowboy western movie like in the vein

of classic cowboy western movies that can't be

at high noon at any point ever? Like ever. Like,

you've got one character who can be out in the

sun in the whole movie. Or why not make that

a plot point at any moment? Like, hey, we duel

at high noon. Ah, how about high midnight, huh?

I'm a vampire. Like, why not just reference it

once? Like, subvert the genre if you're not going

to follow the genre. Don't just ignore it inside

of itself. The one of the major major plot points

of the first movie is that She gets the second

eye that makes her immune to water Which hey

guess what in the first and I believe the second

games She's not immune to water and the second

game takes place in 2005 so explain that But

like so and at the end of blood rain won the

movie She has a blue eye and a gray or green

eye in the second movie the different actress

had brown eyes And they don't do anything about

that in on the cover she's got brown eyes but

in the third movie again same actress the second

movie so she's got brown eyes but on the cover

they photoshop her eyes to be blue but don't

change it in the movie itself like and so she's

just very clearly got these just dark brown eyes

that don't make any sense to the character but

okay so the first movie is is you know like a

silly bad where it's like hey if you're watching

it by yourself it's aggravating and terrible

but it's fun if you've got a group like i cannot

express like express how much fun an uva bowl

film is if you've got people to talk to because

it's just like you just like every two seconds

you're looking like did you see that like am

i experiencing this am i just making this up

like am i high like it's 420 what's going on

like um but like the third one the third blood

rain movie is an almost competent like I don't

want to say sci -fi but kind of sci -fi vampire

nazi thriller movie 90 percent of it's clint

howard just being an amazing actor and being

hilarious as this like super over -the -top german

scientist but like what clint howard again clint

howard being 100 the main villain i don't care

what about the others um or the other nazi vampire

guy like the premise of the of the third movie

is like she bites a guy and then stabs him and

misses his heart um and here's the thing she

at this point is a two or three hundred year

old half vampire which apparently half vampires

are stronger than regular vampires in this world

for whatever reason half vampire um who's collected

all of these ancient relics and has had them

for hundreds of years so she's arguably the strongest

person in the world And so when she bites a guy

and misses his heart so he doesn't die as a vampire

and comes back he's stronger than almost any

vampire in the world and then anyone he bites

is slightly weaker than him and so it becomes

this thing of like they've got to collect her

blood because her blood can make stronger vampires

than anyone else and like it really works in

a in a strange way and it actually makes a competent

decent film which is a weird thing to say about

ufable it has also more sex that makes less sense

than any other uva bowl film. I actually recommend

watching, just watch the third one, skip the

other two. It's kind of a fun film. It's still

got its problems. And they've just completely

thrown away, like, trying to be like the video

games or looking like the characters. She has

black hair in the third movie, um, and wears

a pilot cap for most of it. I don't know why.

She doesn't have the weird arm swords. She does

have, like, just scimitars across her back, which

she sometimes uses. And it's got all kinds of

weird things. I don't know, man. There's a sex

scene at the end where they've been captured

by the Nazis and, you know, it's that end of

act two, all hope is lost. um big thing before

the the they regain hope and get go to the climax

and it's just like they're tied up in the back

of a nazi van and then like they just have sex

for no reason they're not tied up anymore and

then like the van like stops and they jump out

the back of it and it's like well i mean were

they tied up it was the van locked like why were

we transporting Like, one, how are these Nazis

transporting their prisoners? And two, how could

they just get out of everything, including their

clothes and the van? And why would they do that

in the middle of this situation that's supposed

to be a Tencent? But it's fun and hilarious.

Honestly, if you're watching Bloodway in the

Group, I mean, 6 out of 10? It mostly tries,

and it's more fun to watch than to not watch

if you have people to talk to. If you're watching

it by yourself, what grade would you give it?

I would give it a Whatever I gave to house of

the dead watch that with people to uva bar Hey

friends, don't let friends watch uva bowl front

moves alone Dan has he convinced you to to continue

watching the blood rain series Considering I

watch this movie alone. No Where do you put this

one? I think this is worse than the movies that

came before mainly because this has like legitimate

actors that Give the worst was like just like

it's pathetic. So it's me. It's a one out of

ten All right, so worse than house of the dead

and alone in the dark. I Would say yes, mainly

because it's Well, it's it's weird because it's

almost more enjoyable to watch because of how

bad it is compared to those like a little in

the dark Was not even like bad so bad. It's good.

This one to me was more so that so if that makes

any sense This is a worst movie, but more enjoyable

to watch of that I know I agree with you 100

% because I think that's what makes it maybe

a more fun movie to watch with a group because

it is so bad that you can just constantly point

out stuff, ridicule, laugh, etc. and wonder how

anything like this was actually made. Whereas

I didn't get that feeling from Alone in the Dark

or House of the Dead or even Doom. I just thought

those movies were just bad and it wasn't so bad

that they were good for me. So it's kind of a

hard one to rate. Do you rate it on actually

how bad it was or because it was so bad that

it was somewhat not... Excruciating to watch

does it make it a little bit higher? This is

this is where we've gotten to in the video game

spotlight. We're now we're comparing crap to

crap and Intentions and reality and and that

type of stuff, but I mean it's a bad movie I

guess any way you slice it, but it can be a little

bit more fun So I'm gonna give it like a three

out of ten I guess two three somewhere in that

range. So I mean it's still bad I think I would

rather watch this then Alone in the dark or house

of the dead, but that is not saying much so That's

about where we sit with blood rain. If you agree

or disagree with our thoughts on blood rain,

please go to the website www .geekcastradio .com

and find the episode post and comment there.

We'll try to respond there. We can also interact

with you directly on Twitter. If you want to

tweet the whole show and we can all interact,

that would be at cinemageekcast. If you want

to have a specific question or comment for one

of us individually, you can do that too. Amanda,

how would somebody get into contact with you

on Twitter? Hard Candy Mandy, Eyes, No Eyes.

Matt, how about you? I'm at Fridley Satt. Dan?

I'm at Movie Revolt. And I'm at Optimus Solo.

You can also go to iTunes and leave us a review

there or go to the Facebook page and keep up

to date with all things GeekCast related. Next

time when we go back to the video game spotlight,

we're staying in 2006. Blood Rain was our first

2006 film. We have two more to go. Our next one

on the list would be none other than... Silent

Hill. Real quick, Amanda, excited or not about

Silent Hill? Very. Dan? It's not Yui Bull, so

I'm happy. All right. Matt, are you willing to

watch this one? I mean, I'll watch anything,

guys. So Silent Hill is coming next. So until

then, tune in next week for another chance to

listen to The Cinema Geeks.