Kindergarten Cop Review

Hi, this is Jim Meskimen, and you are listening

to the GeekCast Radio Network. Hey, it's Mistress

Carrie, and you are listening to Studio 2009.

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welcome back into our studio. You're now inside

Studio 2009, only on the GeekCast Radio Network.

I'm, of course, TF2 and Mike. Joining me once

again, as always, is Steve Megatron. Hello, sir.

How are you? It's not a tumor. It is a tumor.

Unlikely. Yeah, penis, penis, penis, vagina,

vagina, vagina. You know, I swear they repeated

that in this film, but apparently they don't.

Interesting. Well, after he says it, boys have

a penis, girls have a vagina, later in the movie,

I swear there was a scene with the kids where

one of them repeats it like that. But I guess

I was wrong. I don't know where... I don't know

what in the hell I was thinking. Today, in case

you couldn't tell, in episode 187, we head back

in time to the year 1990 because we are all attending

kindergarten again with Arnold Schwarzenegger

as he plays LAPD detective John Kimball. That's

right, it's time to hang out. With the kindergarten

cop. Now, be a teacher requires patience, kindness,

and understanding. Fortunately, Astoria Elementary

has just hired such an individual. Arnold Schwarzenegger

is kindergarten cop. Kindergarten is like the

ocean. You don't want to turn your back on it.

Don't worry. Everything is under control. He's

an undercover detective. I assume you have some

teaching experience. They wouldn't have sent

me otherwise. Assigned to find a mother and son.

Did Danny ever say what Chris's wife looked like?

Before a killer does. First, I would like to

just get to know you. A male kindergarten teacher.

That's unusual. He's been trained to shoot. What

made you become a kindergarten teacher? He's

been trained to fight. But there are some things...

You mean you eat other people's lunches? Stop

it! He's never been trained to handle. They're

walking all over me. Listen, Kimball. You gotta

handle this like any other police situation.

You're going to be my deputy trainees. You're

not gonna have your mommies run behind you anymore

and wipe your little douches. You are mine now.

I'm not a policeman. I'm a princess. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

You hit the kid, I hit you. Wow. In an Ivan Reitman

film. Are you married? Not. Welcome to Astoria,

the single parent capital of America. You got

a little mustache. Must be from the milk. Kindergarten

cop. Oh man, this movie. Oh boy, this movie.

American action comedy film directed by Ivan

Reitman and written by Murray Salem, Herschel

Weingraud, and Timothy Harris. The film stars

Arnold Schwarzenegger as John Kimball, a tough

Los Angeles police detective who goes undercover

as a kindergarten teacher in a small Oregon town

to locate the ex -wife and son of a dangerous

drug dealer. Oh, boy. What do you remember about

Kindergarten Cop before we get into all of our

I remember that it was... Well, one, I love anything

with Arnold, so it's an easy ask. Yeah. But I

didn't... What's funny is, going back to it,

I didn't remember... At least the first time

I rewatched it. I mean, I remember now, but I

didn't realize he was like an actual cop doing

detective stuff and kind of gruff before he got

placed into this situation and that it was his

partner that got sick. Yeah. And that's why he

had to reluctantly do this job. And he's like,

no, like complaining. And I don't know. I think

the kids were great. I think he was great. So

many funny moments with it. And then you could

tell like at the beginning, he genuinely like

hates it. Like, yeah, character. Like, yeah,

absolutely. Hates the kids. And then by the end,

he's like, he's kind of warmed up to him. Yeah,

absolutely. Yeah. He, uh, oh man, he, he's one

of those. The, the character of John Kimball

is one of those cops that. No, I work alone.

I don't want a partner. I work alone. I'm not

doing this. And the captain doesn't give two

craps. The captain's like, no, you're doing this.

You know, work with this person. Yada, yada,

yada, yada, yada. So he gets paired up with her,

with O 'Hara. And I still. To this day, like

literally, like I watched the scenes in the beginning

four different times before we got on to do the

recording. I still can't figure out what she

ate or if she just has an overall allergy to

food in general as to what made her sick. Like,

I get it. It's part of the plot for her to be

sick. for her not to be the teacher so they can

switch the roles around for him to be the teacher.

So he can be in the placement to be in the spot

to get crisp, to get the, to get the guy in all

like, I understand the, the whole plot device

of why, but like normally in. Any movie that

someone says, oh, I have a nut allergy or I'm

allergic to this food or this. Like, usually

we see the inciting incident of what makes somebody

sick. She's eaten this. She's eaten that. She's

eaten all this stuff. We don't see and nothing

is said, obviously, as to what could have made

her sick. But I don't know. And I'm not complaining

about it. I'm just stating a fact of. Out of

everything she ate, it just seems to me like,

oh, she's just completely allergic to every food

ever. Because everything she, like, she even

lists it herself. She even says, oh, it could

have been the donuts. It could have been this.

It could have been that. And I'm like, oh, my

God, you apparently are allergic to every food

ever at this point. Apparently, she just can't

eat food. So we'll just move on. Yeah, no, no,

no. Yeah, no, I know. But I'm saying it's like,

wow, crazy. It's like when I was sick the other

day, this slight tangent on this about being

sick, but where Q gets to be human in one of

the episodes of TNG, and he's like, what must

I do to prove to you that I'm human or whatever,

or one of you? And Worf goes, die. And he's like,

oh, that's rich, Worf. Eating any good books

lately? Uh, so like the whole die scene, like

just makes me think of this, like, Oh, what did

you do? I just, I died. I ate a donut. I ate

a burger. I don't know what killed me. Yeah.

So they're on this assignment that they can't

really tell them they're supposed to be undercover,

but they really can't tell anybody as to why

they're there and everything else. Like you're

not supposed to all of a sudden her fiance shows

up. That was a little, little strange that like,

I don't know. I mean, whatever, but, uh, that,

that was a little weird. So they go to the Oregon,

they go to Astoria, which is an actual town in

Oregon. I've only been through there like once.

Uh, and yeah. Um, very interesting. So Kimball's

at the school. Kimball, he doesn't really have

run -ins with the principal, but they kind of

butt heads a little bit until she finally realizes

he is a really good teacher. And he applies his

cop knowledge to teaching, which actually does

work. And I love his interactions with the kids.

I think he handles the kids nicely. I think what

he does with them is really cool. I think that's

great. I think Ivan Reitman as a director and

these guys as the Murray Salem, Herschel, Weingraud,

and Timothy Harris, I would have to click on

their names to see what else they've actually

written. But writers on this, I think the script

was written very well. I mean, Ivan Reitman just,

I mean, come on. Well, Marie Salem hasn't done

anything since 92. Okay, but I'm saying. Herschel

hasn't done anything since, I guess, there was

a Kindergarten Cop 2 screenplay written? So,

Kindergarten Cop 2. Was it real? Yes, Kindergarten

Cop 2. So, going down to Legacy. It is a 2016

American comedy film starring Dolph Lundgren

and directed by Don Michael Paul. It is a standalone

sequel to the 1990 film Kidder and Cop. I did

not see it. I have no interest in seeing it.

It will never be covered on this podcast because

this movie, the one we're actually talking about,

did not need a sequel. at all like it looks like

the same three writers and then david steinberg

yeah wrote it and but the story was by murray

yeah based on the original yeah i don't know

like i didn't even know it existed which tells

you that it was a direct to disc yep what's funny

is the production companies on that one of the

production companies is where's arnold productions

I think they did that on purpose. Yeah, it came

out in 2016. I'm going to check it out just because

I know that it's not going to be in the same

situation, but I think it's funny that they tried.

So, yeah. I don't know. There's nothing that

can beat Arnold in these movies. It's like trying

to do Terminator without Arnold. It just doesn't

work. Yeah, it just doesn't work whatsoever.

But like I was saying, with Ivan Reitman as the

director, first thing I think of is Ghostbusters.

Because that was the first thing. Meatballs,

Stripes, and Ghostbusters were the first three

things I thought of. Twins, Ghostbusters 2, Dave

Jr. So, yeah. He also did My Super Ex -Girlfriend.

Really good director. Mm -hmm. Passed away in

2022. He was 75 at the time. His son did a good

job bringing the Ghostbusters back. Yeah. And

I think this is one of those movies that is kind

of rare because you don't see a lot of... Usually

when I say the term cop procedural, I'm talking

about television shows. But there are cop procedural

movies like Beverly Hills Cop and Lethal Weapon

and things like that. But this is a movie where

it takes the world of policing and brings it

into the world of education and blends it and

does it really well. I don't think I've ever

seen a movie like this. You don't usually have

movies where... cops go undercover in this like

this is the only movie like this that i can think

of i can't think of any other movie that has

done something like this no specifically I mean,

yes, you have cops go undercover as other certain

professions and things like that, but this is

the only one I can think of in my lifetime that

has done this specifically. And again, Arnold

does it so well. He, on purpose for the character,

he is out of his element. He doesn't know how

to handle these six -year -olds. He just doesn't

know how to do it. And then... in order to bring

it up he doesn't talk down to them he doesn't

like belittle them or anything like that instead

of kind of going down to their level or bring

them up to his level he meets them in the middle

by bringing them into his world by using the

whistle and trying to teach them that way which

i thought was really interesting i thought that

was great i thought that was like Because by

the end, what does he do? He gets them all in

a circle or all in little rows and whatever,

brings them all milk, and says, here, have your

milk, and then lay your heads down, and it's

going to be nap time. And he gets them all down

and gets them all to take a nap and gets them

to the point where they're napping, and then

he falls asleep and gets woken up by Joyce or

Rachel or whatever her name is. And that's like

the end of the movie, obviously. But his acting

handles it so well with that character. It just

boggles my mind. And it's such a good movie.

We don't have movies like this today. We don't

really have any movies like anything that came

out in the 80s and 90s anymore. Well, no, but

because movies today are like... Boom, boom,

boom. Bam, bam, bam. And I'm not talking about

action movies in general. I'm talking about movies

overall. Like, I miss a simpler time. I really

do. I really enjoyed watching this again. I've

always loved this movie. And the funny thing

is, is I haven't seen this movie in years. And

I literally remembered the entire, like, and

I didn't remember the entire plot to the point

of, I was saying all the, like, I knew he said

the, like the lot, like it's not a Tuma or, you

know, the other, the other famous lines from

this. Yeah. I remember all of those lines. But

I didn't remember exactly where they came in.

So when he stood when I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah.

Awesome. I love where he goes, where the kids

are complaining, you know, and whining and starting

to cry. And he goes, I mean, yeah, it's like

I used to do that to my kids when they were younger.

And it was it was quite funny. One of the what

would surprise me a lot about this movie this

time around watching it is. And I think this

could only happen now. And I'm kind of glad this

didn't happen. Because like I said, originally

we were going to do this maybe last year. I think

it was last year. Yeah, because last year would

have been the 35th anniversary. My math is right.

1990 to 2025. That's 35 years, I think. Anyway,

between last year and now, I have watched all...

14 seasons of NCIS Los Angeles. And I had forgotten

that Linda Hunt, who plays the principal in this,

I forgot she was in this. She plays director

of operations, Henrietta Hedy Lang in NCIS Los

Angeles. So when I went back to watch this and

I'm like, Hey, it's Hedy. Hey, cool. Awesome.

And another connection to that show is his partner,

O 'Hara, plays another of the main characters'

mothers in NCIS Los Angeles. I'm like, wow, we

got NCIS Los Angeles alums before that show ever

aired. I'm like, oh, wow. Because his partner,

I'm like, okay. I know her face. I know her voice.

Where do I know her from? And I kept looking

around. Oh, Mama Deeks. Yeah, that's cool. We

have Kathy Moriarty was one of the moms. She's

the one that went up to Arnold. She was the blonde

who was kind of flirting with him. She is actually

the villain from Casper in 1995 with Eric Idle.

She's the one that owns the house in Casper.

That's right. Yep. And then, uh, Zach's mom,

the one that is getting beat or that, that whole

situation, the kids, Zach, his mom that shows

up a couple of times is actually, I forget what

her name is off top. I didn't write it down.

I just wrote, um, I wrote Zach's mom. Uh, she

is. the character carolyn from don't tell mom

the babysitter is dead because i was like where

again where do i know where do i know her from

where have i seen her before uh so yeah no a

bunch of bunch of different people that I've

known from other places in this movie, which

is very, very, very cool. And I know that happens

a lot, but again, I haven't watched this in forever

and I'm glad I, I, you know, I love this movie.

This movie is amazing. This movie is so fun.

Oh boy. Uh, all right. Uh, any other notes for

you for this one? No, uh, I, I just think that

this this is like one of those nice old movies

that has the message in a bottle. Like you don't

need a sequel. You don't need anything after

or before. You don't need anything. It's just

literally just sit down, shut your brain off,

enjoy it, watch it, you know, experience it playing

out between a good story and good acting and

good cinematography. And it just you can easily

immerse yourself in it. And then. Even if you've

seen it, you're sitting there going, I wonder

what's going to happen. I feel like it's one

of those ones you can shut your brain off and

you can literally just enjoy it. Yep, absolutely.

That's what I did. Because again, movies, TV

shows, all that stuff, entertainment is meant

to be entertaining. And this is a very entertaining

movie. Oh man. The mall scene at the beginning

when he's chasing him through the mall and when

he's looking for Crisp in the mall and we get

to the point of Crisp meeting up with the junkie

guy, with the junkie guy with his girlfriend

and everything else. Looking at that mall scene

where he's chasing him through the mall before

they get to the back end of the mall, I'm like,

oh, my God. I forgot what, like. I remember what

the, I don't know what it's called now, but it

might still be called this, but it used to be

called the Kingston Independence Mall when it

first opened. I remember what that mall looked

like back then in the late 80s, early 90s. But

man, looking at the mall in this, I'm like, wow.

The last time I was in a mall was 2018 when Karen

was still alive. And I'm just like. holy crud

like that's an not this podcast probably geek

cast radio that's an episode we should do mall

culture because mall culture yeah i'm not i'm

not joking like seriously i i get to go to one

pretty much this coming weekend or whatever you

know for the transformers the movie stuff take

mall culture was a whole thing. We could tie

in Kevin Smith's mall rats and all that stuff.

Because, man, just looking at those scenes in

the beginning of this movie, I'm like, wow. Oh,

the mall. Just make sure the cookies from the

cookie stand are hot. But no, this movie, Kindergarten

Cop, just the way... Arnold acts with the kids,

the way all the other actors are. That mother,

man. Oh, man, that mother. Oh, boy, she creepy.

She creepy. She creepy. The actress I mentioned

that was Phoebe O 'Hara that goes on to play

Roberta Deeks in NCIS Los Angeles is Pamela Reed

is her name. I just want to mention that, and

yeah. Did the film keep your interest throughout?

Oh, certainly. It's Arnold. I was locked in the

minute that, yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Would

we recommend this film to people? Absolutely.

Are you kidding me? Watch this now. Like, how

do you not? Watch this. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

Overall grade on the GCRN Geek Meter, it's easily

a 5. 5 out of 5. I'll give it a 5, because there's

really not that many that I'll give a perfect

score to. And the multitude of it is very entertaining,

even if there's little nitpicky stuff. But it's

very much a product of its time, but it's also

entertaining on rewatch. which rewatch for me

is where it determines if it gets the higher

score or not. Yup. Yeah. And I think, uh, I mean,

not right now, but if I really wanted to, you

know, have a Arnold Schwarzenegger, like marathon

type thing, this would be one of, well, I'm saying

like, I'm saying like, This would be one of them

that I would put in there, and this would be

one that I could rewatch maybe in six months,

a year, that kind of thing. So, you know, it

is what it is. Oh, boy. No, I better not even

say that on air for 2027. The summer of Schwarzenegger

spotlight. Oh, boy. But, yeah. Five out of five

all around, folks. For Kindergarten Cop, we're

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On the Simplistic Reviews podcast, we talk movies.

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Who is my daddy and what does he do? I have a

headache. It might be a tumor. It's not a tumor.

It's not a tumor at all. Well, folks, Kindergarten

Cop is in the books. Episode 187 of Studio 2009

is done. Six years, 187 episodes. Can you believe

it? Quite possibly. Yes, quite possibly. Which

means we have something like 13... 12, 13, something

like that to get to 200. We're almost there,

folks. I got a lot of editing I have to do because

half of those episodes are already recorded.

We have like four standouts that we still have

to record. I just have to edit all of them to

get to 200. So yeah, Steve Megatron, final thoughts

on kindergarten cop and tell the good folks what

you got coming up. Kindergarten Cop is definitely

a film that everyone should see at some point.

It, again, touches on a lot of great themes of

personal growth and, you know, overcoming situations

you don't want to be in. But it also is a great

action slash comedy, even though it's not striking

to be comedy film of Arnold's. So definitely

recommend it. Absolutely. As far as crapola that

I got going on, I'm working on some stuff that

I'm trying to do for the website, but also for

some of the different podcasts. And I'm going

to try to get some stuff situated for video content

in the near future, as soon as my next gaming

chair shows up. Yeah, nice. Very cool. Very cool.

Oh, boy. Video content? What's that stuff? We

don't do that around here. Not usually. It usually

bites us in the ass. Oh, boy. All right, folks.

Thank you so much for joining us here inside

Studio 2009. If you'd like to get in contact

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