The Columbo Files – Etude in Black Review

Hey, hey, hey, it's Chaos Queen here, and you're

listening to the Geekcast Radio Network. Hey,

it's Mistress Carrie, and you are listening to

Studio 2009. That's my specialty, you know. Homicide.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a trigger warning.

In this episode of Studio 2009 here on the Geekcast

Radio Network, there are suicidal discussions.

We just wanted to let you know ahead of time

in case that affects you. So now, on with the

show. Yeah, come on, bro. Yeah, hi. Well, I'm

at the doctor. No, it's not serious. Yes. I'll

be there as soon as I can. Right. That's all

there is to it. He'll need a booster shot in

about a week. He didn't seem to mind. Oh, they

hardly feel it. But he will need the booster

shot in about a week. Say, how old is he? Kind

of hard to say. You say I just picked him up

with a pound. His time was up, if you know what

I mean. I say he's pretty full grown. Kind of

cute, isn't he? He'll be all right. Okay, Doc.

Thanks for staying open. Got these peculiar hours

here. Ah, no sweat. My wife doesn't like music.

She watches murder mysteries. So whenever the

concert's on, I work late. Right. Uh, there's

not gonna be any after -effects, is there? Oh,

no, nothing. Okay. Uh, I haven't named this guy

yet. You don't have any ideas? There's a name

I've always heard, and I've never seen a dog

that had it. Fido. Fido. Yeah, Fido, the Romans

used to say. It's as old as that. Uh, it means,

uh, I am faithful. Well, roughly. There is nothing

wrong with your podcast player, or maybe there

is. Do not attempt to adjust the volume. Hello

and welcome back into our studio. You're in our

Insight Studio 2009, only on the GeekCast or

Radio Network. I'm, of course, TfG and Mike,

and joining me once again, as always, in the

new, did we do anything in the new year so far?

I don't think we did, or no, I don't think so.

Yeah. We might have, did we do attack the block?

Yeah, yeah, well, we recorded that last year

and I'm here. I released it this year Okay, we

technically recorded that last year. But yeah,

that's out Everything's out. Hopefully by now.

Yeah, I don't have it in the calendar. I don't

have anything else on here So yeah, so there's

nothing that good old detective David Draper

We are returning to Colombo over the next nine

days here in February 2025 So February 1st to

February 9th. Oh boy, or if you're doing that

yourself what? Keep you like oh, we're gonna

do it every day and then then all of a sudden

I get this. Oh, it's such a nightmare to crank

these out every day Don't do that Well, it's

a nightmare to crank out 31 of them. It's not

a nightmare to crank out eight. Okay? It's fine.

Hopefully by now I'll be well adjusted and everything

else But we are back with more Colombo. How the

heck have you been, sir? I've been all right.

I hate winter. And so this winter, like last

winter was really mild, but I wasn't well. So

like I kind of missed it. And this winter is

I'm much better. And it's been awful. So that's

that's great. And like apparently you can't even

escape it because if you if you go somewhere

warm, it burns down on you. So it's like great.

Oh, damn. Isn't that why people go to like Florida

and California to get away from winter? Yeah,

but burned down, dude. Yeah, well, I mean, California

is burning down. Half the locations we'll probably

talk about today are now piles of rubble. Permanently

gone, absolutely, unfortunately. I'm honestly

not even kind of making a joke about it. No,

no, no, everyone's face. Yeah, oh man, so many

people. It's like every time somebody makes a

Facebook post, oh, I have been Mark Safe from

the California Fire. Oh good, you're safe. Nice

to know. Back in my day when I was a kid, we

used phone trees and letters and everything else,

and back in Dave's day, they used paintings.

No, no, we had smoke signals. We were advanced.

We were civilized people. Yes, that too. So we're

back, folks, with the good old Colombo Mumbo

Jumbo, and that's a Dave Draper original. No,

it is not. It is not. They used that on the bumpers

on A &E. Oh, did they? Yes, they would go, and

now back to more Colombo Mumbo Jumbo on A &E.

I did want to correct that, because I saw you

posted that on Facebook. I'm like, I did not

make that up. Whoever wrote those things for

A &E made that up. These are the Clumber Files

here inside the podcast. As always, we are watching

them in order. Main source for online viewing

is TubiTV. Actually, I reached out to them about

this episode and the next episode because on

Tubi, Etude and Black and the Greenhouse Jungle

are flip -flopped. Greenhouse Jungle is first,

Etude and Black is second. So I reached out through

their customer service to report a problem, blah,

blah, blah, blah. They're like, oh, okay, did

this, this, this, that, and that thing, like

three emails later. We are sending this to the

second level tier of customer support. I'm like,

okay, cool. I haven't heard anything since. I'm

like, how hard would it be for you guys just

to, you know, retitle, just change the numbers

and just flip them? So the other one shows in

the other place where it's supposed to be? I

I mean like I have I'm not a computer guy, but

I I have a little bit of experience and sometimes

Stuff like that can actually be much harder than

you think Yeah, no, I know I understand cuz I

said cuz generally I'm an ignorant consumer guy

who's like how hard can I be? Just just make

the thing that I want and send it to my doorstep.

How hard can I be? You know, but like I mean

it could be harder than you and also how literally

how many people are affected on a daily basis

because two episodes of Colombo are slightly

out of order. I mean, I realize that it is a

national tragedy, but, you know, we've we've

already mentioned the fires in California. There

is a war in Israel. There is a war in Ukraine.

I mean, now I'm not saying it's not up there.

Like, I'm just saying, you know. Some people

believe the political shift in the United States

is the end of the world. I I know these people

It's very hard to talk them down off a ledge.

But but there are two episodes I look I'm not

making fun of you There are two episodes of Colombo

that are slightly out of order on to be and yes,

it's it's a tragedy It's it's a heartbreaking.

I mean, so I'm surprised we're even allowed to

say that and not have to use use euphemisms What

to be? You can't say out of order because then

someone will have a be triggered back. Oh, okay.

I'm being I'm being a little Yeah, well, so my

thing is like if I start something anything it

doesn't matter what it is, but specifically television

show cartoon, whatever and You tell me it hey

it starts with this certain episode. I expect

that That's that's my expectation. If you say

that this is this and some service has it out

of order. I was respectful I just said hey I

am not suggesting you were rude in any way. I'm

just saying in the Grand scheme, I know with

the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter,

but I wanted we were talking about this either

at the end of the last at colombo episode we

did or off air we were talking about this and

i when i was preparing to when i was gonna watch

these i was like hey wait they have a contact

us if there's a problem button here i should

do this just to say hey in case you guys didn't

know the actual order of the episodes is flip

-flopped and whatever else anyway this episode

this cast is stacked Yeah, like well, I believe

I mentioned either on air or off air that John

Cassavetes is a good friend of Peter Fawkes It

doesn't make a lot of It's not a big surprise

that that he would end up being in an episode

of combo, right? Yeah, you got John Cassavetes

you got You know, right what Blake Danner and

Myrna Loy guest star as Benedict's wife and her

mother so Myrna Loy specifically She is mrs.

Nick Charles from the thin man movies and that's

the only other thing I've ever seen her in that

up until this episode That was the only thing

I'd ever seen myrna loyan I know she had other

movies and did other things but the seven eight

nine However, many thin man movies there are

ten however many there are I forget how many

there are off top my head like that's what I

know her as Nora Charles from Nick and Nora You

know, ironically you're one up. I recognize it's

a name that I recognize but it is there are in

fact things that are before my time so there

are like celebrities and you know, there was

a whole world the whole history of Hollywood

before I started getting involved and so like

I know the name Yeah, but I didn't make the connection

to her to the thin man role I mean that's just

someone who's even older than I am. That's impressive

You know what I mean? Cuz I mean with the fit

man was a thin man was a big deal at the time.

Yes Absolutely. I think they did. I think it

was 1934 to 30, 1934 to 47, I believe, is how

long the movies lasted. And of course, ironically,

you know what the big thing, the big hook of

those movies was? Uh huh. The dog. Asra. Absolutely.

Asda, absolutely. Asda. Okay, we'll see how to

speed it up. It's okay, it's okay. Yeah, no,

Asta, Mrs. Asta, and all the baby asses that

they're probably gonna have at some point. We'll

be here all day, and we can probably revisit

Thin Man at some point. Oh, crap. If it did start

in 34, last year was its anniversary. Holy crap.

No, we can still do it. It's not that big of

a deal. Ninety years ago. those movies came out

oh my god as i said before even my time but uh

but yeah so you got her in here as as the as

the what as the mother -in -law and the owner

of the orchestra and then blithe banner and then

what i didn't know about this which is crazy

to me uh this episode was directed by coach from

Cheers, that's what I mean about this cast being

- Really? Nicholas Calisanto, really? Yeah. I

think I saw the name, but I didn't click in my

head. Well, it didn't click in my head either

until I read the Wikipedia article. I'm like,

oh my God, that's amazing. Alright, getting into

the plot, folks. Alex Benedict, played by John

Castavides, the married conductor of the Los

Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra murders his mistress,

Jennifer Wells, after she insists on going public

with their affair and tries to make it look like

a suicide. Columbo searches for clues to place

Benedict at the murder scene. Now this episode

feels so much different. It does! Any of the

other episodes. We've covered to this point It

does like you don't see the murder happen within

like the first five minutes. He's Going all over

his house. He's getting all this stuff ready

to go like I don't know did I read it in my notes?

How long yeah, there's a it's well and the next

episode we're gonna talk it might be a second

season thing because I noticed first of all,

they start with like previews of yeah, I don't

like that. Yeah, I'm not a fan either but like

like clips of what's gonna happen in the episode

and then they uh, the preamble section was a

little bit longer than the first season. And

it's kind of like that with the second episode

too. We do two at a time, so I can't say for

the whole season. Yeah, I got so confused because

normally I'm used to, on 2B, going to whichever

season it is and just seeing, hey, black screen,

show comes up, and it's the standard... how we

opened all of the episodes in season one it just

opens i almost really don't like that they have

the if they split it up a little more like if

there was like there's the transition between

the little quote -unquote preview thing and the

start of the actual episode it's like non -existent

there's like no transition it just goes right

in and i'm just like okay we need like a half

a second of a black screen or a fade out fade

in kind of thing or something because I get yeah,

I got all confused I was like wait, what the

hell show my watch I like I know what show I'm

watching obviously, but like what in the hell

is going on here? Why are they doing this? Because

Colombo. Well, I think part of it is Colombo

doesn't have a proper Yeah, because it because

it's the the Sunday movie of the week thing that's

that weird so like you know has that for Colombo

starts yeah, so um Yeah, cuz like like another

show it just would I think would fade immediately

into the credit, right? I've been watching space

1999 and what they do is they have that little

preview thing in the opening title sequence Mm

-hmm, but like yeah, it would be that little

little preview and then the title sequence and

then the shell but with Colombo I just it does

it does goes immediately into the the action

from the pre yeah, and then the beginning the

whole opening scene is just super strange to

me. And the other thing is, he's wearing a buttoned

up jacket at home. Are you kidding me? Uh, okay?

Like, I understand why you would button the jacket

up if you're going out and actually interacting

with people. But he was going out, wasn't he?

He was, but like, usually you do that like when

you are about to leave the house, not Like literally

walk out the door is when I would do that or

maybe five minutes before this opening scene

took way too long like Isn't he sitting down

at one point with the jacket buttoned up and

I'm like really? It was a thing that apparently

you were affected by that I was not so yeah,

I Don't know at first. I thought the bird was

gonna do him in Yeah You know, it's weird because

like I've seen all these episodes before The

funny thing is, at this point, I've seen all

the episodes before, again, a long time on A

&E. I was like that. I was like, the bird's gonna

do him in. There were some other things that

I remember differently and kind of wrong. There's

another episode where the wife is in a wheelchair.

I was like, why is she walking around? She was

in a wheelchair. I think that's a different episode.

I'm getting them mixed up in my head. I forgot

how the whole thing got resolved. Figured it

out pretty quick how the whole thing got resolved.

Yeah, but like which is another thing. That's

weird Like like this one was really obvious Yes,

how he's gonna get caught up. Yeah, it's just

how I guess it was just how specifically Columbo

was going to catch that It was a little different.

What happens is during the attack. He's got a

little boutonniere of a little carnation Yeah,

it's a carnation flower. Carnation flower that

his wife grows so that he wears them in his boutonniere

when he conducts them at a symphony. And it falls

out. And so when he's on TV conducting to the

orchestra, he's not wearing the boutonniere.

And then he comes back to the place, because

he realizes it's missing. It's kind of a cool

shot where he's conducting the orchestra and

you see him look down in a freeze frame. He comes

back and Colombo kind of catches that. He finds

the boutonniere and picks it up. And you're like,

oh, that's how he's going to get them. Like you

said, this episode felt different. Do you think

Columbo, the character, felt a little different?

Yeah. There's a scene where he confronts the

wife. And the thing about Columbo is even some

of the people that he's going after, he's almost

never malicious to. Right. There was almost something

spiteful about the interaction he had with the

wife. No, I was talking to your husband about

Miss Wells. I want to talk to everyone that knew

her intimately. Oh, I beg your pardon. I really

don't think that Alex knew her better than any

of the other artists he works with. Oh no, I

meant no offense, man. No, I only meant working

together. It's such long hours, two people. We

have this new development in the case. I thought

maybe you'd be able to help me. Well, I don't

know what you mean. What case? Well, maybe you

haven't heard. We think Miss Wells was murdered.

Murdered? Yeah, we think so. Yeah. I just learned

that she was having an affair with someone. Well,

I'm really not interested in all of that, Lieutenant.

And I certainly don't think that Alex could be

of any help to you. Why do you say that, ma 'am?

Well, because Alex doesn't mix in with the private

lives of the artists. You know that for certain?

Well, of course I do. What are you implying?

No, I'm not implying anything. No, I... I just

didn't know how you knew what he didn't do or

what he... I'm really not interested in talking

about this any further. Will you excuse me, please?

What is it about? This gentleman would like to

speak with you. I just... It felt off. I think

what it is is, is that maybe they wrote it differently

this time. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Teleplay

by Botchko, Richard Levinson, and William Link

did the story. I don't remember Botchko's stuff

being that, with this character being like that,

but what I noticed was, because big thing here

in this episode, I think it's this episode, right?

The dog. The dog, yeah, this is the one that

introduces the dog. What's your name? You're

not gonna tell me? Well, my name's Lieutenant

Colombo. Okay, then. My name's Audrey, if you

wanna know. You live around here, Audrey? Yes,

but if you're gonna question me, you're gonna

have to tell me my rights. No, that's wrong.

I only have to tell you your rights if you're

a suspect. You're not a suspect. And besides,

I'm just making conversation. Yep. This is what

I'm going to do as a doctor. Like, you cut into

Columbo at the vet's office, although the joke

is you don't know it's the vet initially. Yeah.

Yeah, I thought he was just at the doctor. Yeah.

It's like, uh -oh. And then that scene, oh, man,

so many times I've seen Columbo now that I'm

like, yeah, he was just like, I can't do needles

either. My god that needle oh The way his yeah,

I'm gonna say needles don't really bother me

that much so I mean depends on where you're sticking

on my suppose, but obviously but I mean my eyeball.

Yeah, I'd have an issue with it my arm. Yeah,

I'm fine I've always had I can deal but like

I don't want to I don't want to see it I don't

want to like see it up close and personal kind

of thing. Like I don't even want to, I don't

even look, I look away every time. I don't mind

if it's like on the table, like 10 feet away

from me and I'm like, Oh, there's a needle. Okay.

Fine. Whatever. But I don't, I don't, I don't

need to see it up close and personal, but the

facial expressions that he was making in that

scene before you see the needle. Oh my God. It

was like you had him on the water again or something

like he was going to get sick or just being there.

And again, like you said, Didn't know it was

the vet and not an actual like the doctor's office

for him. But yes dog Good dog and the running

theme of this episode was he was trying to come

up with a name Which he never did the vet suggested

Fido Which the satellite and then the sassy little

girl I thought I so I said before we started

recording like I've seen this on A &E In my brain,

I remember other things which may or may not

have happened Like I remember the the little

neighbor girl being a much bigger part The episode

I mean, she's kind of important, but like I remember

being more in it I remember the whole through

line about getting a name for the dog Being more

prevalent and there being a resolution to that

where he just gives up and calls him dog Yeah,

but like the worst part for me was like, where's

all these scenes that I remember? Yeah The whole

episode was one giant Mandela effect for me.

Basically you want to say anything else about

dog? He's a I'm surprised how big he is That

surprised me. Yeah, me too. His mine was a Mine

was much smaller, but then she didn't really

get that far. Yeah, I mean he's he's he's also

like he doesn't wait I mean dog never does anything

per se in the episodes, but man he he does less

than nothing in this episode We didn't bark in

the car so yeah, yeah, but we never know why

Like, other than the fact that he's... Because

they left him in the car. Well, yeah, I know.

That's what I'm saying. Like, they left him in

the car without the window even cracked. Like,

I mean, come on, Colombo. But I thought it was

like something else. I thought they were going

to have it tie into the whole case and... Colombo

is... The great thing about Colombo is dog will

never find the clue. That's what I love about

Colombo. The dog is basically useless. He's adorable,

but he's not going to be like the dog that digs

up. I think it's a Murder She Wrote episode where

a dog digs up a body from a garden or pulls down

a drape and then there's a thing behind there

or sniffs out the thing. He's basically there

to be a companion and does nothing of any productive

value in terms of crime fighting, which I adore.

All right, folks, I'm going to say again. As

I said at the top of the show we are gonna talk

about certain things and What's interesting is

is is when I was watching the episode Alex smokes

a lot and that's that's one of the things that

like It's very noticeable and older. It's funny

because in Mad Men, they make a huge deal about

everybody. It's played up a big deal that everybody

smokes constantly. Whereas in actual fiction

from that era, it's much more casual, but it's

there. Even in Ghostbusters, Dan Aykroyd is smoking

all the time. It's a weird thing about how at

the time it was handled much more casually. Which

is my way of leading into the fact that we're

going to talk about this thing, which we're tiptoeing

around, even though the show treats it very casually.

I can't stand suicide. Murder is bad, but suicide

is sad. Yeah. He, he right out just frankly says,

I can't stand suicide. Murder is bad, but suicide

is worse. Yeah. And he, and it's actually kind

of an important part of his, like the whole thing

is it's set up to make it look like that. She

did that. But like she has so much going on in

her life that Colombo which I have like mixed

feelings about because like in a lot of ways

People that have a lot going on for them are

almost like they can be just as vulnerable like

it's not Perception that you do it because everything

is terrible and your world has collapsed is not

always accurate It's it's you've lost a fight

inside your own head and everything can be perfect

But you've lost that battle, and you don't see

it that way. You don't see the good. You just

feel a pain, and you just want that pain to end.

So I get where he's coming from in that, but

it also is a very... He gets taken a task for

being patronizing with the sassy neighbor girl.

And it is sort of a... You don't know what's

going on inside people's minds. You never really

know how much they're hurting. Yeah. And the

thing for me is, is that I have been, I say it

this way, suicide preventionist. But I attempted

back in 94, when I was a kid, when I was 14,

because I didn't want to be where I was. And

ever since then, I have spoken up about how suicide

is not the answer. There are plenty of people

out there that are willing to listen if you have

a problem kind of thing. and all that and of

course comes this uh this recording of this episode

comes just off the uh 10 year anniversary of

when robin williams died so there's that because

of his parkinsons and and everything else and

and all that and boy actually i actually i i

I'm sorry like Maybe it may be a thing that's

related to Parkinson's death. I thought it had

a different name. Oh, yeah Yeah, Louie body dementia,

yeah Yep, which may be related. I don't know.

I'm not I'm not yeah. No, the name was different

And at first I thought it was I don't know but

You know, suffering through depression and anything

that kind of just is, well, like we said, you

never know what's going on in somebody's life.

And again, I will always say there's always,

there's the suicide hotline. You can talk to

those people. I'm sure if anyone out there is

having these thoughts or whatever, you can talk

to your friends, your family, whoever you need

to talk to, just talk to somebody if you need

the help, get the help. Um, but in this fictional

story, that's not actually what happens. She

doesn't commit suicide. She obviously is moided

by the conductor. And the whole time I was watching

this, I swear I recognized John Kesevides from

something, but I've looked through - Yeah, he

might have been. The thing is, he's more known

as a director than an actor, as I recall. Yeah.

But again, he's slightly before my time. I just

know that he was a well -respected director who

worked a lot with Peter Falk. Yeah, I don't recognize

anything he directed. Obviously, I wasn't even

born with some of the stuff that he directed,

but a lot of people know about a lot of... I

mean, look, I pulled out a Thin Man reference,

obviously. You did. I'm shocked and amazed. But

you know, the thing is, it is a... To say stuff

is before your time is both accurate and also

kind of a cheap excuse because obviously we're

both talking about a show from 1972. But then

we have watched and we actually are watching

because we watched it before and enjoyed it.

The fact that something happened before you is

not necessarily an end -all, be -all excuse for

you to be ignorant about it. Don't think people

should be expected to be up on everything that

happened. No, you know everything that happened

before you know, I barely know what's going on

now like I See these YouTube videos from these

people. I'm like, who are these people? Where'd

they come from? They're all filthy Millennials

and it's like go away So, you know, I'm in this

weird thing where like everything that I like

is in the past But like it's not in the super

past and then like the future is murky and terrifying

Mmm. Yeah, it's great to get old So we did get

an interesting piece of Colombo lore in this

episode Which is which is well like subtly because

when he meets when he meets Alexander he's like

you're from back East like hey a fellow there's

this Implication that they're fellow transplants

right from the West East Coast so there's a little

bit about that And also we get really, I'm trying

to remember in the first season, we really get

that first sense of Columbo's sort of, because

the theme about class has always been there.

It's a whole thing about the house. How big the

house is, how expensive the house is, how long

it would take him to afford the house. Could

I take a look in here? Just a quick look. Go

ahead. Gotta be a 40 foot living room 40 by 20

Dining rooms 15 feet deep. I can't see the rest

windows windows windows ideal. This is a dream

house. I'm glad you like You're from New York.

Yeah better out here, right? Oh, it's more comfortable

Can I ask you a personal question? please What

are you paying taxes on this place? $18 ,000

a year Three times 18, carry to 24. Seven down,

bring down to zero. Place cost you $720 ,000.

$750 ,000. Could I look in there? Yeah, go ahead.

Listen, how did you arrive at that figure, $750

,000? It's real estate rule of thumb. It's a

trick. No magic. I'm not an appraiser or anything

like that. Can I ask you something? Go ahead.

How much you got in the furniture? Oh, 200 ,000,

100 ,000, give or take 100 ,000, something like

that. I'll take it. Can I ask you a personal

question? Yeah. Did you have anything specific

that you wanted to talk to me about? No, I'm

going to get to that, but I'm fascinated by money,

aren't you? Yeah, I'm fascinated by money for

what it can do, that's all. Yeah, yeah. Anyway,

what I was going to ask you is this. How much

do you make? I think that's very impertinent.

How much do I make? Tours? I don't know. Concerts,

I don't know publishing. I don't know. I'd set

it such I Make $11 ,000 a year. So $11 ,000 a

year. I got $750 ,000 for the house $18 ,000

in taxes 200 and furniture how much help you

have I? Have five including the garden you got

that the money plus plus plus 11 ,000 times 10

years 110 ,000 11 ,000 times 100 years 1 .1 million

Well, let's say 900 ,000 That's 90 years work

for me just to live here without eating. So what's

the point? Well, I guess the point got delayed

because I got so wrapped up in the house. Because

that is a running theme in Colombo is him, you

know, he's this shaggy little dog that's going

after the rich and wealthy and powerful. Yep.

Yeah, I'm, yeah. And yeah, going through the

house and he asks how much, how much it costs

and he figures it all out and does all the math,

whatever else. Immediately to like super quick.

Oh, yeah, he's he's on the ball $750 ,000 for

that house For that house in 71. I can only imagine

what that house would be worth today. Oh crappy

houses. Well Again, we kind of go back to the

current situation, but crappy houses in LA or

in California are going for millions of dollars.

Yeah Yeah, absolutely I just hate that that happened

because it displaced a lot of people and just

oh man just all kinds of crazy things with those

fires We do find out and I don't think we knew

this in season one I mean we might have known

obviously he's made allusions to you know cop

salary wherever else but literally he says he

makes $11 ,000 a year Which I mean these days

Los Angeles detectives probably still make that

yeah unfortunately they probably do the whole

car thing with the mechanic and they're going

back and forth the mechanic tells him there's

a limit that poor car this poor car this is your

car this is my car well exactly what do you think

wrong with it tell you the truth i think the

engine is missing but you know i can't be sure

because the shock absorbers they're so old That

the whole ride is very bumpy. I'll start it up

for you. On the hood. I guess you don't have

these kind of problems with a car like Mr. Benedict's.

Not quite, no. What was wrong with his car? Nothing

serious, I suppose. No. He just felt it was idling

a little too fast for him. What do you think

it is? Have you ever thought about getting a

new car? Oh, you see, I already have two cars.

Of course, my wife's car is nothing special.

That's just for transportation, you understand.

Well, yeah, I think we talked about that before

we started recording. There's a cute thing where

Alex has this very fancy, expensive foreign car,

and his mechanic is British or Scottish or...

He's something. Yeah, he's but he's from the

from those islands. He's got that kind of accent.

And in fact, like, to go off on a bit of a tangent,

but do you notice how very sort of patronizing

Alex is to everyone around him? Yeah, particularly

those that are underneath, unquote underneath

him, end quote. Yes. He kind of makes fun of

the mechanic. He makes fun of somebody else a

little bit. He's very sort of got an attitude.

But later, you know, Colombo is sniffing around

because the car, the whole thing about the car

is part of the alibi because it's supposed to

be in the garage. But Alex sneaks in and gets

the car back. But Colombo is sneaking around

and asking questions about the car. And he asks

the mechanic to check out his car, the Peugeot.

It's like, well, I work on foreign cars. He doesn't

say the line. In a season, in an episode, he

has not said the line, but he does say, it's

a foreign gar. It's like, yeah, but there's...

Yeah, there's a limit. There's a limit. And the

other thing that is amazing about this is, you're

right, Alex is one of those hoity -toity, I'm

better than everybody. He tries to do it subtly,

but his temper is... No, it's almost worse, because

he does it like, hey, inferior guy. I'm the cool

guy. I'm your pal to a degree Just don't touch

me because you're beneath me. Hey, I'm making

a joke about ya Yeah, he's very in your face.

It's almost like the work like I would almost

prefer someone to be cold and snotty about it.

Yeah Hey there, buddy. Who's not as good as I

am So the interesting thing about this is did

you recognize His butler. Yes That was another

Like okay, this is a weird thing to say kind

of but at least he was Asian as Opposed to being

black. Okay, it was Pamela. Everyone knows from

the karate kid or older people know from happy

days But he was very very stereotypically Japanese

a very thick accent and it was like yeah It was

it was it's one of those things that kind of

makes like even a guy who isn't particularly

woke kind of goes. Oh Yeah, I had to do a triple

take and then I saw it in the in the in the Wikipedia

article I'm like it was mr. Me. I knew that was

mr. Miyagi. I start somewhere. Well, no, I know

absolutely but again it for me it's more about

like oh wow, like That's all like it's awesome.

I think it's cool that he was in that I Was more

like wow, this is tacky. I Mean yeah, it was

cool to see Pat Morito, but it was like yeah

Yeah, the scene is seen is very tacky. Yeah,

there's a little cringy Mm -hmm. Did you also

know my dad? No, this is this is this is interesting

to me at the time of filming this episode, Blythe

Danner was pregnant with her daughter, who is

Gwyneth Paltrow, born 10 days after this episode

aired. Wow. I could believe that she was pregnant.

I could not believe that she was nine months

pregnant. No wonder Gwyneth has a stick. She

did not look pregnant at all Didn't look pregnant

at all. I mean, you know, like I I wasn't really

I wasn't looking for it. So yeah, yeah, you know

you wonder if they filmed their certain ways

but like I don't think they did they showed her

like That that that's crazy to the point of being

faintly disturbing yeah a little bit All right,

what else we got tell me that the annoying little

girl like was you know And that annoying little

girl was I don't know. I can't think of any That

little girl anymore I don't know. She might have

been I don't know But that little girl she was

spunky as hell with Colombo. Yeah. Yeah, she

was like oh Wow, I was not expecting. Yeah. And

again, that's kind of a weird like cuz she's

a saucy She idolized Jennifer, the victim, who

herself was very fiercely independent, fiercely

a strong woman who knew what she wanted and went

for it. Both episodes that we saw recently had

this whole thing about changing morality and

different roles and she was very empowered and

so the neighbor girl has that whole saucy feminist

I'm not gonna put up with your patriarchal garbage

stuff from Colombo. And of course, Colombo's

whole thing is, as a general rule, he's not like

that. He treats everyone equally, but he tolerates

it, and he even indulges it. Then there's a scene

where he compliments her, and she's like, ah,

don't give me your male chauvinist compliment,

trying to butter me up. Actually, he says something

early on, again. There's a line where he's talking,

he's discussing... The at the very beginning

he's discussing the case. He's looking at photos

of Jennifer Yeah, and he says she has bedroom

eyes and I'm like, yeah Yeah, that was not Colombo

no bad Colombo. Give me the spray bottle Naughty

70s man naughty naughty But of course the episode

ends with Alex conducting a symphony for conducting

a soundtrack for a documentary about a naughtier

man from the 40s yeah very naughty saucy man

now the little girl was her name audrey uh could

have been i don't i remember i was well i'm trying

to find her in the in the cast list uh to see

not what's what else she's been in i mean at

this point at this point she's not she's not

um myrna lawyer she's not yeah You know, and

she's not Jennifer Wells. So I mean the other

female in the episode and there was also there

was also a little subplot about like the other

boyfriend who was a temporarily of a red herring

who was a jazz musician jazz musician You've

gotten into some trouble. Mm -hmm. Well, the

funny thing is that there is, at least you are

absolutely correct, there might have been more

scenes because the character of Sam, I guess,

it says here on IMDB, scenes deleted. So I don't

know why his scenes were deleted. And of course,

you click on the character name. Character was

played by Michael Pataki you click on the character

name on IMDB It looks like we don't have any

photos or quotes yet. I'm like, oh great. Okay

fine be that way technology Let's see any other

to the smoking thing like you were saying earlier

Colombo actually asks if it's okay. He does yeah,

and I'm like Well, there's a there's a sign up

that says don't bring any food or into the room.

Yep And also, is this the one? Again, we see

two at a time, and sometimes things get a little

blurred. But there's one where you don't see

him have the drink, but he does ask for a drink.

Remember that? Yeah. Yeah, he asks for it, but

he doesn't actually drink. I don't know if that

was this one or if it's the greenhouse jungle.

I don't. I don't think it's... I'm not sure.

I think he was talking to Myrna Loy, because

I don't remember him having... Yes, yes. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. She asks him if he would like a drink,

and he says... I could have sworn he said no.

He says no initially, and then at the very end

of the scene, he gets an idea. Okay. And then

he asks for the drink, and it cuts. Yeah. Interesting.

Very cool, very cool. Yeah, this one was just

I liked it. I didn't not like it. Oh god I just

looked up the I'm looking on IMDB to Pat Morita

the houseboy. Yeah Yeah, that that's not Wow,

I Wonder if that's IMDB or if that's actually

what it said. No, I'm sure that's what was in

the script Probably. It was 1972, unfortunately.

I don't have any other notes other than the fact

to say that this one, I liked it, but just the

way that they moved the formula around, they

messed with the formula in various ways. It's

not changed. It's still the Colombo formula,

but it got to the finish line in very different

ways than what we saw in season one. And I guess

that's I guess that's good because they got to

keep us on our toes, right? Kind of yeah But

I could really do without the I wish to be would

take those off whatever broadcast masters or

whatever however, it's on to be I wish they would

actually take off the the intro teaser clip thing

because it's just Distracting I would bet I mean,

I would bet they come from the same whatever

source that the DVDs come from, because they've

been very matching up. Aside from the order,

they've been very matching up. I mean, there

is no cut. There is no title credit sequence.

You know what I mean? It is part of the episode,

whether you like it or not. That's what it is.

Did the show keep your interest throughout? Kind

yeah, I'm but but for reasons I'm hesitating

because I had other reasons because I was remembering

things that like I was waiting for things that

like I remembered So but they didn't happen.

So I was like trying to like engage with the

show Differently than someone who is coming to

it as a clean slate But I mean it was a also

like the mystery part was I think a little weak

Because again, it was it was the boutonniere.

You knew the minute the minute you saw it, you

knew it was a boutonniere. Yeah So, yeah, I mean,

it held my interest. It's weird because I've

been waiting for this episode all through season

one because of that stupid dog. And now that

we got here, I'm like, you know, this wasn't

really a great episode. The dog doesn't do anything.

Well, the dog never does anything. But to be

fair, he just lies there and drools, as is typical,

well, allegedly typical of his breed. Yes. Like

that is one thing is I will say TV lies to you

about the Noble Basset Hound and TV lies to you

about the Noble Irish Setter. I had a very intelligent

Irish Setter and I had a very active Basset Hound.

So yeah, it held my interest. I mean, I was following

it, but I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

This one felt off. Felt a little weird. Yeah.

And I think it's the way that we're because again,

we're used to like That's the thing about this

specific show, folks, as Dave already said. There

is no intro theme. There is no closing theme.

I mean, there's music. There is, but we don't

see it. But it's not for Columbo. It's for the

NBC mystery movie. Right. But that's what I'm

saying. However, 2B has these on their website.

We don't see the NBC mystery movie thing. What

I mean is, and again, I'm going to reference

multiple 80s action shows, A -Team, Airwolf,

Knight Rider. There's no opening title sequence

that says the name of the show. No, but I'm saying

there's no specific... I get what you're saying,

but like yeah, I just when you start a show in

the 80s when you go from the perfect example

when you start show almost every show like it's

dropping title sequences and theme songs is a

Now it's probably about 10 or 15 years, but if

for old people, it's a recent development put

it that way Most TV shows had a title sequence

and yeah song. Yeah Yeah, and that's the thing.

Usually when you see the end credits of Jeopardy

and you see all of them talking with the music

and whatever else, you see a couple of commercials,

immediately you would either get that preview

of whatever show it is and then the opening title,

or you would just get the opening title sequence

and it would go. Now, I think somewhere around

2002, 2003, they started futzing with that format

and they would do this like, have 10 minutes

of the show before and we'll throw the intro

thing somewhere in the middle, whatever. Well,

no, it was because commercials were cutting into

so much time that they needed to cut down. They

didn't have time to invest in a opening sequence,

basically. I guess. I remember reading about

that or hearing about that. It was it was deliberately

a reaction to the fact that commercials were

becoming more and more taking up more and more

time Are you itching to watch the next episode

now? Well considering we have but I mean just

in general at the end of this Yeah, I was I was

I was a year to see the next one I mean, I I

was the one I was like, come on, man. Come on.

We're doing season two. We're just you do Y 'all

got any more of that Columbo? Yeah Would you

recommend this show to people? Absolutely. This

show, yes. Yes, absolutely. And then the Geek

Meter rating scale over on GCRN, zero to five

with half points. What are you going to give

Etude in black? Oh, God. Again, I made such a

big deal about getting to this episode. Here

by five. I mean it's competently done It's fun

to watch Columbo and Cassavetes together because

again in real life. They are friends or they

were friends. Um The I really feel like the mystery

part is the weakest Element and it is a mystery

show. Oh, yeah like and and there was just I'm

knocking it a bit because there just was so much

cringe in this episode. Yeah. Oh, absolutely

That that yeah 3 .5. I think is fair. I mean

there's no bad Columbus, but this one just it

hit weird There's probably gonna be some that

are more uncomfortable or less uncomfortable

than others if that makes any sense because of

again the time that this was made in the 70s

and all that and keep in mind like I always make

jokes about being old but like when I watch these

like in syndicated reruns It was the 90s. So

that was 20, 30 years ago. Things have changed

since then. So like stuff that I didn't necessarily

pick up on or even be bothered by back then is

going to hit me differently now. Like we had

this whole, again, we had this whole thing about

trigger warnings, about the subject matter. And

it was like, it wasn't like that back then. didn't

have trigger warnings. You didn't have that sensitivity

to people being upset by stuff. Well, we didn't

have that sensitivity. Even in the 90s, we didn't

have that sensitivity. Well, that's what I'm

saying. I watched it in the 90s. Yeah, exactly.

But that's my point is that our parents or our

grandparents, like I know my grandmother, my

grandmother would have probably said something

about the suicide stuff or whatever, or she would

have said something about the affair thing whatever

kind of thing but Nowadays with the internet.

Oh my god I mean it's like I mean to to give

a little personal information. My mother was

a social worker who coordinated the suicide prevention

hotline here in Springfield so It was a subject

we didn't tiptoe around, you know what I mean?

Which we talked about, there was no euphemisms.

So it's weird, this thing that was always very,

I mean, maybe too casual. I mean, it's not that

she didn't take it seriously, it's not that she

didn't care about people. But it was a thing

we talked about, because it was her job. So to

have to dance around these words now, it irritates

me, because it's very Orwellian. Every time I

watch a TikTok from a D &D playthrough and they

have to use the word unalived or use use other

words for like there's like guys Life is gonna

hit you like a freight train and you you you

can't be protected your whole life. You got to

learn that there are some ugly things and I'm

not saying we should have your face rubbed in

it. But right. This is weird. It's weird and

awkward. Um Not that's a weird one because again,

like I said It was a thing that we talked about.

I mean, she gave speeches at schools about it

because back in the 80s, that was a big thing.

There were waves of incidents where one kid would

do something and then other kids would follow.

I remember one time I got in horrible trouble

at school and my mom had to come in and the principal

was like, wait, you're his mother? And she's

like, yeah. Cause he knew, he knew her from the,

the, the, the talks. Um, so it was like, wait,

you're, you're this little trouble making piece

of crap smother. And she said, yes. And, uh,

it's funny. We're bringing up tick tock because,

uh, even though this episode will air February

1st. Supreme Court upholds the law banning TikTok

beginning Sunday, and Sunday's date is the 19th

of January as of this recording. So as of January

19th, if it is not sold by its Chinese parent

company, it will get fully banned here in the

U .S. I'm sure it'll be sold to a completely

legitimate business here in the U .S. I mean,

they might as well just give it to Metta. Whatever.

But the thing, I've never done TikTok. I've never

had any interest in it whatsoever. If I want

shorts or I want short form content stuff, YouTube

shorts or Instagram reels or whatever is what

I usually go to. I mean, I don't know. Stuff

pops up on my Facebook feed. I have Facebook.

I'm an old man and I watch it. I don't know where

it comes from. I don't know where he comes from.

He's just there. And they do funny little cartoons

from the D &Ds that I like. And it's funny and

I laugh. And then I'm like, geez. I am also going

to give this a 3 .5, which is good. Description

of 3 .5 in our Geek Meter says, it's a mixed

bag, but the good stuff outweighs the bad. There

might be one amazing element or lots of fun moments

that make the flaws easier to swallow. They're

not deal breakers, but they do hold it back.

So that's for that. And yeah, folks, I think.

That's gonna do it for us. We're gonna head to

a quick ad break in here some podcast ads and

some other stuff We'll come back to close the

show right after this. Do you read this? I Browse

through it. This is what they gave me. This is

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Dukes, Earls, politicians, big people. So add

that. What's missing? Something. A man. A man.

A person, somebody. A woman like that's gotta

have somebody. Eyes like that. But that's me.

I'm paranoid. Every time I see a dead body, I

think it's been murdered. Can't imagine anyone

murdering themselves. Hello Geeks and Geekettes!

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Have a little faith. On the Simplistic Reviews

Podcast, we talk movies. We talk TV. We talk

Oh Julie, what the heck are you doing? Trying

to make our spot sound more exciting by adding

explosions Yeah, I'm pretty sure you could have

got the point across with sound effects. Not

the real thing Download the show on iTunes or

if simplistic reviews dot blog spot dot com I'm

sure your insurance company will cover that.

No, they won't. No, they probably won't I went

to the door nobody answered And that's that's

all there is to tell It's the truth. The lieutenant

believes me. Tell her. That's right, ma 'am.

I don't believe he did it. You think it was the

other man? Well, the other man's always a possibility.

I keep wondering why you tried to hide this.

Why you didn't come forward before. Because I

figured I'd lose my job. But I wouldn't have

a chance to explain anything. Mr. Rivkin, I am

concerned with my orchestra. I have spent 25

years making it what it is today, and gouging

people for money to build the Symphony Association.

Aside from my daughter, this is my baby. And

if anybody tries to hurt either one of them,

he's out. The axe. Anybody. But under the circumstances,

let's say you're not fired. However, until this

case is cleared up, you will have to be suspended.

with salary. Thank you. Thank you, Mrs. Fielding.

Now be a good boy and vanish quietly. We are

back and we aren't going to hold you guys too,

too long here. Any quick one note final thought

from you before I run through the closing, sir?

It is the second season. This is usually when

shows start to dial themselves in. This one just

felt a little weird. The second one, the next

one we're going to talk about, which obviously

you'll hear in the next episode, I think was

a little more return to form. Yeah, I agree 100

% I did like and I did like literally like literally

I stopped and I literally hit the like 10 second

back But we got rewind button just to make sure

he said it the way he was supposed to say it

and he does a little counter things That's right.

I don't even know what the counters that now.

I don't think you mentioned his feet Oh, he did

cuz his wife his wife was a big fan. Yeah, that's

it That's a running theme is his wife loves murderers

If they write a book, if they do a TV show, if

they direct concerts or conduct concerts, man,

she loves them. listen to and comment on all

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for the network at it's the studio 2009 for the

show. I'm at TFU and Mike. Dave doesn't do social

media. I do the Facebook, but I keep that pretty

to people I know. Speaking of Facebook. This

is not your purse. I don't know you. Keycast

Radio Network and Studio 2009 podcast over there

on Facebook. Next time, we've got The Greenhouse

Jungle Season 2, Episode 2 of Colombo. For now,

I am TF2 and Mike with David Draper. We'll hear

from you back in the studio soon. Shit, piss,

fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

You do realize I will use that Mr. Tourette syndrome?

Good. No, those are the famous George Carlin

routine. Ah, yes, yes, yes. Seven words you're

not allowed to say on TV. Back when you're not...

Because it's like, we can't say suicide, we can't

say Nazi, we can't say fucking death. I don't

think we can say gun. Like, okay, penis? Sure,

I guess. This fucking Orwellian bullshit drives

me crazy. Yeah, it drives you crazy. It does!

Mm -hmm. It should. It should drive all of us

crazy. But there's no reason to assume that we're

planning a hanging. Ladies and gentlemen, this

is TFGN Mike from the GeekCast Radio Network.

What you just heard was Studio 2009's The Columbo

Files Season 2 Episode 1 Etude in Black with

myself and David Draper. I know technically I

should put this at the front of the podcast,

but I've already spent the last two hours editing

this episode. So I'm going to put this at the

very end. Please listen to the whole podcast.

I'm going to put this in the description as well.

I'm going to put a note in the description of

the podcast. Oh boy, this is gonna be difficult.

So in this episode there were discussions of

suicide. I don't know if I'm gonna read this

whole thing, but I'm going to read you my daily

blog entry from 2019. This was day 58 of 2019

where I discussed my attempt at suicide in 1994.

The title of the blog, suicide, is not the answer.

The past is the past. There's no changing the

events that happened. This is just my story,

the way I remember it happening. This is a very

difficult topic for me to talk about. I'll be

talking about a very triggering topic to me,

suicide. If you are having suicidal thoughts,

get help. or you can call, I believe it's 988

on mobile phones, or you can call 1 -800 -273

-8255. In 1994, when I was living in Kentucky

with my dad and then stepmother, I attempted

suicide. I don't think they ever knew about it.

I'm pretty sure I never told them. At the time,

we had 10 acres of land and I went out into the

field where there was only one tree that I could

see. I attempted to hang myself. It was a very

stupid idea, but I saw no way out of the situation

I was in. My stepmother at the time would hit

me. Luckily, events unfolded where I was placed

as a ward of the state of Kentucky and taken

out of the home. I know for a very short time

it sucks because I wanted to make it work with

my dad and everything, but it just wasn't going

to happen. Ever since that day in 1994, talk

of suicide or seeing suicidal news reports on

TV really triggers me. When Robin Williams hung

himself... Besides the fact that he was a man

that entertained me all my life I thought about

the man himself. Where was he in his life that

he felt that he was? That that was the only answer

At that time in 1984. I knew where I was and

it was somewhere. I didn't want to be If you

have been someone who has followed me in my at

this point now as I'm recording this nearly 17

year podcasting career. You've heard me say that

I'm not good with change. Well, from Christmas

of 92 through April of 1995, my life went through

a ton of changes. My mom had a nervous breakdown

on New Year's Day 1993. She started the process

of turning custody of me over to my dad because

she just couldn't take care of me anymore. So

from February 10th, 1993, Which was the day after

my 13th birthday? To some time in January of

1995 I had lived with my dad and then stepmother

I wanted to be with my mom I wanted life to go

back to the way that it was in 1992 and before

You want to talk about a culture shock going

from the big cities in small towns with trees

of Massachusetts? towns like Kingston and Plymouth

and Plimpton and Halifax and all of that to the

barren fields of Kentucky. I was so not happy.

After the abuse from my stepmother was reported,

I was removed from their home. And I began my

four and a half year journey through the state's

custody. I consider myself, and I know this to

be true, that I was one of the lucky ones. Most

kids that end up in the system get tossed around

like pizza dough. I was only in fifteen placements

in four years. Normally some kids would have

been in that many places in just one year. My

mom, in the final year and a half of her life,

would tell me... that she just wanted to kill

herself from late 2013 through May of 2015 when

she did pass away. Mom would talk of suicide

all the time because of what I had went through

it made me so angry and I would yell at her for

it. I'm not proud of it, but that's what happened.

I would only yell at her after her talking about

it five or more times a day. The first time she'd

say something about killing herself because of

all the pain she was in. I understood she was

in that pain, but I would try to be reassuring

to her. I would try to get her to be positive.

I have always tried my best to be as positive

as I could be out there in the world. And yes,

again folks, if you've listened to me in the

last sixteen and a half, seventeen years, you

know I can be a very negative person, but I do

try my best to be positive. Suicide is no joke.

And it's no laughing matter. The person that

wants to die by suicide must have some really

bad shit going on in their life. My mom died

from bacterial and viral pneumonia. As well as

a as well as kidney failure in May of 2015. Holy

fuck y 'all I am Two months away from the 10th

anniversary of my mom's death. So she didn't

end up killing herself. Thank God Still she was

way too young at 60 years old But at least she's

now at peace and not in pain anymore my point

at the time in 2019 of revealing all of this

and writing this post is that I fully believe

suicide is not the answer to life's problems.

For me, the medical way never really seemed to

work. I remember at one point before all of this

stuff happened, my mom and the doctors back then

wanted to put me on Prozac. I've always felt

that the antidepressants have never worked on

me. All I need is someone to sit there and listen.

As far back as I can remember, I've suffered

from out -of -control behavior at times, whether

that's yelling and screaming or attempting suicide

or doing anything else to self -harm. It's a

pattern that I wish I could change and get over

to self -heal, but there are times when I need

help. My second point in making this post at

the time in 2019 is to maybe help other people.

Realize that there are people out there that

you can talk to and they can help you get through

the tough times. Whether that's a parent or another

family member, a friend, your spouse, a teacher,

a policeman. Just speak up. Have you ever had

suicidal thoughts? Have you ever attempted suicide?

Do you know someone who has? Oh boy, that question

doesn't read right to me, but that's the terminology

that they have us use now. Do you know someone

who has completed suicide? That doesn't sound

right to me, but that's the way they have us

ask it. Let me know in the comments below. Committed

suicide is the incorrect terminology. Suicide

is not a crime. And I leave a link for you where

you can read more here. I will leave this, I

will leave my blog post link in the podcast episode.

Show notes on geekcastradio .com for this episode

of Studio 2009. Once again, if you are having

suicidal thoughts, get help. You can dial 988

on mobile phones or you can dial 1 -800 -273

-8255. Folks, please get the help you need if

you need to talk to somebody. Anyone out there

that's listening to the sound of my voice, if

you want to talk to me, I'm here to listen too.

I mean, not that I want to steal Frazier's line,

but I'm always listening. Just cause I'm a almost

17 year podcast veteran and I podcast all the

time and I talk all the time doesn't mean I don't

always listen all the time as well because I

am always listening to almost everything. Have

a good day, everybody. Be kind to yourself. Be

kind to others. Put some good out there in the

world and We will talk to you next time for season

3 episode 2 of Colombo. Thank you very much.

I appreciate you taking the time