Star Wars – Episode VII: The Force Awakens Review

On a lighter note and more relevant, it's going

to be the 10 -year anniversary of Force Awakens

next year. Yes, yes, it is. And we will bring

that up. And I'm turning into fucking dust like

fucking Walter Donovan. Jesus Christ. You are

not. Stop it. You're fine. So old. Mickey. Mickey,

Penny Candy only cost a nickel. I want some Penny

Candy. Here's your nickel back. This is how you

remind me. And that's what old people like is

weathers. That's right. This is Phil Lamar and

you are listening to the Geekcast Radio Network.

I hate the days we live in. Me too. All right.

What was my show? Wake up. Force awake. Wake

up. Wake up. Yeah, come on, Force, wake up. That

was too forceful. All right. Damn it. My nose

is starting to... Come on now. Nose, get with

the Force. There we go. There is nothing wrong

with your podcast player do not attempt to adjust

the volume Hello and welcome back into our studio.

You are now inside. See you 2009 only on the

geek cast radio network I'm of course teaching

like and joining me once again as always. Mr.

Dave Draper. Hi Dave. How are you Mike? Great.

Yay. You can't complain Well, we could but it

doesn't help me. Yeah, you can but I'm grateful.

Yeah Well, you'd sound ungrateful, but also,

it doesn't really help. Like, I don't know. It

helps a little. I mean, I don't know. It helps

relieve stress. It's like a stress valve, sometimes,

if you complain. I guess my thing is I've told

people, just let me grumble a little bit and

I'll get over it and I'll be fine. Because people

get so wound up if you get annoyed in a situation.

It's like, just let me grumble. It's a bad situation.

It's fine. I'll blow off some steam and then

I'll be fine. It's okay. Absolutely, absolutely.

Today we head once again to a galaxy far, far

away. That's right. We continue the 12 months

of Star Wars Spotlight as we make our way back

to the Skywalker Saga for today. Is Skywalker

in this movie? Oh, I guess technically. Spoiler

alert for like five seconds at the end. This

movie is nine years old. Do we really need a

spoiler warning? It's the interwebs somebody

will complain That's true. That's sad, but true

Doesn't the third movie well the Jedi were real

I used to wonder about that myself thought it

was a bunch of mumbo -jumbo A magical power holding

together good and evil, the dark side and the

light. The crazy thing is, it's true. The force,

the Jedi. All of it. It's all true. He can't

see it, folks, and you can't see it, and I don't

think you can hear it, but I'm shaking my head

because damn. Oh boy. I wish you would have died

in this movie, actually. You know, he's the only

good thing about the... Well, okay. That's unfair.

He has the best thing about this series. I think

so. Let's get going. We're talking about The

Force Awakens. Yep, yep. The Force Awakens. You

see Abram with his mystery box. Fresh off of

Star Trek's. Yep. It's all Mike Stuckloss's fault.

Because in the Red Letter Media Plinket review

of Star Trek 2009, he said, you know, that Abrams

guy, he should be directing a Star Wars movie

instead of Star Trek. And they did. Hey, I like

Star Trek 2009. It works way better than it had

any right to. Yeah. Absolutely. All right. Starring

Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, the

trinity of Star Wars. Adam Driver, Daisy Ridley,

John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Anthony

Daniels, Peter Mayhew, may he rest in peace.

Also folks, we don't want to really bury the

lead on this one. We are recording this after

the news of James Earl Jones passing. We will

do a larger segment on him at the end of the

show when we do the closing, but very, very sad.

Yes, he was 93. Yes, he lived a good long life,

but it's still sad. You got that in very quick

before I got to say it. That's right. Gotta be

quicker. I'll put my party hats away then and

Well, you know the party can't celebrate someone's

death I mean they celebrate their life. That's

the difference. I know I'm I know Wait a minute

if this is 30 years after Endor Then where does

we will get there like I have one of my biggest

complaints is the fact that this takes place

30 years after the original trilogy and Like

you almost wouldn't know that aside from the

fact that everybody's all the classic characters

are but old Yeah, yeah So did you first see though

I'm assuming the theaters I saw it in 3d Which

is weird because there's a shot that I remember

being in 3d. That was really cool of the Star

Destroyer Yeah, I know I didn't remember I didn't

notice it this time around so Is it when the

Falcon first flies by? Yeah, I thought it was

in the very beginning. Is that Shadow of the

Scarlet Strider flying into Jakku? But it's all

in shadow in the version I saw. Yeah, it's all

in shadow. I think they had to do that because

maybe back then, and I don't know folks. I'm

not looking at any information about this. I'm

speculating. I'm spreading rumors, whatever you

want to say, but I think the reason why it was

all in shadow on the Disney Plus version is because

maybe it was exclusively released as a 3D film

and there is no... I mean, there are 3D TVs and

there are 3D glasses that you can use and whatever,

but generally... I don't think that's it. I think

I might just be remembering a later shot and

just getting them confused because one of the

things that were... We're probably gonna get

to when might as well get to it now is I? Realized

I had never watched this film. This is the second

time I've watched this film in ten years like

and that's just saying Like I mean by the time

1987 rolled around I am NOT exaggerating I probably

saw a new hope 200 times Mm -hmm like because

once once I got it on video like I know it's

like my horrible We we hooked up our our beta

max VCRs together Rented the movies. I had a

horrible blobby copy that like saw me through

college, man Yeah, it's like oh look characters

have definition and details like Because it really

is like like my copy was just like this this

vague blur Is Han Solo and this vague blur is

Luke and that big brown blur is probably Chewbacca

I think probably but I would watch those in college

man because that's what I had because apparently

back in those days videos were not priced to

own No, they were not. My mother did not like

spending money. So I think one of the biggest

fights I ever got in was trying to get a copy

of Star Wars on VHS. It did not happen. Like

I said, we hooked up, me and my buddy Chris,

we hooked up our VCRs and this was... Like 40

years ago, the statute of limitations is probably

expired. Yeah, it's Betamax. Allegedly. Nobody's

coming after you. Yeah, well, also, yeah, it's

Betamax. I mean, I don't use Betamax. Like, nobody's

coming after you for Betamax. Yeah, I had a Betamax.

It was superior video quality. You know, for

years afterwards, like, cameras used Betamax.

Professionals used Betamax. I was wrong. It was

not 10 years for me. It was more like... Seven?

Eight? Hold on. Well, because we did... You didn't

watch in the theaters, did you? Yeah, we did.

Okay, well then... Hold on, let me do the math

on this. I mean, does it matter? Math? You've

seen it twice. Is this the third time you've

seen it? No, this is the second time I've seen

it. Now I'm getting annoyed. No, no. Twenty -seven

feet. You just said you saw it in theaters. Right

Keep on 2015. I don't know. No, I saw it on whatever

it was on at the time I forget 2017 is when I

saw the film for the first time. I did not see

it in theaters. Oh, maybe we released it from

The second one last Jedi probably when did last

Jedi come out they were every other year So okay,

it would have been 17 Okay Well, either way,

we did a podcast in 2017, Star Wars The Force

Awakens Inside Rogue One. This is the one I was

telling you of this podcast episode I told you

about when you and I did Rogue One. This is that.

So we did these two movies together because Rogue

One had come out or whatever it did at the time.

It was all on media. I don't know. But essentially,

this is my second time seeing Force Awakens.

in the last seven years, and I don't know how

you feel about it, and you'll obviously tell

me in a minute, but I see some. Everybody's like,

oh my god, it's just a copy of 77. It's not a

full -on direct copy. No, no. 77 did not have

a stormtrooper defecting, okay? No. But some

people have tried to say that that it's a sense.

I mean the basic plot is that there's a thing

in the droid that will Right that the bad guys

want and then there's a giant planet killing

base. They've got a blow up at the end I mean

the broad strokes are It's that the new group

of characters are well Finn is probably the most

different character of the bunch and also like

I will say the So here's the thing because there's

the narrative When like that, oh, when so much

friends found out there was a black man in the

movie, they were angry. And I'm like, Orlando

Calrissian, Billy Williams. Yeah, exactly. I

have I think I said on other shows, I'm a huge

fan of the movie Attack of the Block, which stars

John Boyega. He was amazing in that movie. It

wasn't funny at all. Like the weird thing about

Force Awakens was how funny Boyega is because

like he is like super intense in Attack of the

Block. But like when I heard that he was cast

I like I literally fist -bumped I fist -bumped

I was like, yes I was so excited for him and

the idea that he played a former stormtrooper

is interesting and they just It's not as the

first like the thing about the first movie watching

it the second time is Almost the good stuff made

me bothered me more than the bad stuff. Okay,

I know where it's going which is no So it became

frustrating like all the little details all the

things that were like oh that's kind of cool

like you know that it's in service of nothing

yeah and and so yeah the fact that his character

goes nowhere gets no development basically spins

the entire trilogy mooning after uh ray doesn't

become a jedi like like they've kind of hinted

that he might have force powers like like supposedly

he was going to tell her in the third film but

he never gets around to it because you know The

third film is a whole clusterfuck that we'll

get to when we get to it. To me, I'm angry that

they did nothing with that character. I will

say, to get on the record right now, I think

Abrams is a good director. I think Abrams is

a brilliant casting director. I think all the

people in that film, like Oscar Isaac, Daisy

Ridley, Yep. John Boyega, and even the guy who

plays Kylo Ren. They're all good actors. Adam

Driver. They give good performances in this movie.

Abrams is a good director. He's not a good writer.

Yeah. He's not an original writer. And also,

he's got that whole obsession with the mystery

box thing, which kneecaps this movie. Yeah. But

yeah, the new characters could have been good.

I will actually fight with with with diehard

stars fans because they're all like oh well they

focused on the new characters instead of the

old characters that's what they should have done

this should have been the handoff movie yep you

had the old characters come in and they do their

thing and then they hand it off to the new characters

and part of the problem was they never quite

did that um they always kind of kept like oh

we'll bring the old characters back all the way

through and it's like nah you shouldn't do that

you should it should be the new trilogy the new

characters the new Star Wars and you know like

I said you bring in the old characters as a sign

of respect as to give them their stories Closure

and they didn't do that like that was another

big mistake the movie made Was that like and

there's even a line about it like where it's

like I just went back to what I know what to

do And then she says yeah, we all did it's like

yeah, you all reset to who you were in Star Wars

boring except for Lou who went crazy and went

off to a planet ball by himself. Exactly. Which

is what Yoda did when he failed. So, you know,

like, it's fair. So, okay, I'm winding down.

You want to just keep going? Yeah, keep going.

So we got, yeah, so I don't hate... the movie.

A lot of people are like, I will always make

this joke just because of the title, The Farce

Awakens. It has nothing to do with the actual

content. It's just force, farce, whatever. It

has nothing to do with the content of the movie.

The only thing for me in this movie, as I was

taking notes, and we will continue to go through

the plot here and whatever else, but I take I

take bullet point notes as I'm watching the movie.

So, opening crawl, yay! Okay, sure, fine. But,

you go back a little. No 20th Century Fox. No.

That made me sad. That always bothered me. Made

me very sad that there wasn't the dun -dun -dun

-dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun

-dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun

-dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun

-dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun

-dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun

-dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun -dun - Oh, wait,

they didn't have it back then. Yeah, they didn't

have it back then. They didn't have it back then.

Never mind. Emily Latilla, never mind. The storm

troopers on the ship, the first shot we get in

the storm. That was a cool sequence. Yeah, it

was a cool sequence. It was a great sequence.

It was awesome. and I'm gonna put this here because

it'll come up later once we have the reveal of

Mr. FN 2817 or 2187 or whatever the hell his

name is. Why can't they just call him TK421 or

422? Anyway. Why did they want to turn into Finn?

They wanted him in it? Yeah, no, I know. Yeah.

So the storm troopers, the storm troopers specifically,

not the clone troopers, not the Bad Batch, not

Captain Rex. None of that stuff the stormtroopers

Were they they were actual people in the original

trilogy, right in the suit like there's There

is debate Okay, well there's a version of the

special editions where Tamara Morrison rerecorded

all the stormtrooper lines, right? But they also

say that they were actual people but I actually

have an ancient Laser disk. No, no, Empire Strikes

Back era magazine. Okay. Which I thought I'd

imagine that. Yeah. Oh my god. I was right along.

So, but it goes back and forth about whether

or not the Stormtroopers were clones or actual

people. In this movie they are. There's a line

of dialogue about using clones and they're kidnapped

from birth and trained to be Stormtroopers. That

becomes a thing in the third film sort of oh

boy. Here we go All right. My point is at one

point or another They were clones that were controlled

by the Empire completely like like I don't think

there's like that much difference They were conditioned

they were trained and and the point is that the

the the new strong troopers were trained conditioned

Because that's that's that's that's that's that's

a minor plot point is FN was supposed to be transferred

to Captain Phasma to be retrained because his

conditioning didn't hold. And what's his name?

Hux is like, oh, all my troopers maintain their

conditioning and they're all perfectly trained.

No, they're not. I wasn't sure if I remembered

wrong or forgot right or forgot left or something

about something. And I'm not talking about the

in the future. I'm not talking about the death

troopers, because those are specifically robots.

I'm not talking about that. I thought at one

point or another that all of the storm troopers

were just... all of the copies of Rex or all

of the copies of whatever, not counting the bad

batch ones. Again, it goes back and forth, depending

on what era you're talking about, depending on

who's doing the writing. I used to believe that

they were actual robots, because if you look

at the little thing on their back, their backpack,

it kind of looks like it spells oil. Yeah, absolutely.

Just wanted to bring that up because like I said

before It is a very minor plot point in this

movie that they do make a point of saying that

they are individual people and that clones were

an option Yes, that that the problem is that

doesn't extend backwards to do specific right

one way or the other right? I always thought

I I personally and I know there's a cut of the

special edition where Tamir Morrison re -recorded

everybody's lines all the Stormtroopers lines.

I know that exists Yeah. So take that for what

it is. At least it's not tattooing yet. Isn't

it? Yes. Oh, no, it's Jacu. It's Jacu. It's a

completely different desert planet. Exactly.

How many desert planets you got in this galaxy

far, far away? I think there'd be a lot of them.

I get that. But like, just that we automatically

go back to a desert planet. Look, my take on

this movie, Was that it was it was a big race.

It was the prequels were weird and people didn't

connect with them So they were doing a hard reset

and they were they were basically like this is

the this and I and I I gave this movie a lot

of slack until the second movie Because it was

just basically it was supposed to bring the normies

back which it did Yeah, which it was supposed

to be familiar because that was one of the biggest

criticism of the prequels Everything looked different.

Everything didn't look like it fit in the same

universe and I think part of that was that, you

know, Coruscant isn't Halloween. Coruscant is

a big city planet. Everything there is supposed

to be shiny. And part of it was also supposed

to be that it was earlier, so everything was

shiny and new. I think this was another thing

that Red Letter Media pointed out was that what

should have happened is by the third film, everything

should have looked dirty and rusty and falling

apart before it had taken its toll, which they

didn't do. People complained everything was too

pretty and too clean into it didn't look like

Star Wars So this movie was gonna kind of like

redo Star Wars to get people back into it and

then the next couple of films were Yeah, I think

they're going to take the ball and run with it

When we get to the next film, I'm going to have

to look into why JJ did not come back for the

man. You want to it was the plan was he would

do one and then right when, whatever his name

is, we'll do the second one. And then Colin Trevorrow,

who was doing the Jurassic World films, was supposed

to do the third one. Oh, really? Wow. And Colin

and J .J. Abrams had a plan. Uh -huh. Ryan was

like, well, that's nice. Yeah, exactly. Ryan

did what Ryan wanted to do, which is why when

we get there, I kind of love The Last Jedi. Part

of my love for that particularly initially was

based on an erroneous belief that everybody knew

what they were doing We will find out when we

get to the third film was absolutely not true

But there is an element of last Jedi that I absolutely

fucking adore and we'll get to why in this this

episode There is a reason. Yeah About one of

the reasons. Yeah, so what the fuck kind of food

is that? I don't know, but that was cool, wasn't

it? Like that's an actual practical effect. Like

one of the, again, Evers was big on practical

effects. He just put the stuff in and it blooms

up. It's neat. There's a lot of neat, like the

details are neat. Yeah, the details are neat.

The fact that she got shafted every time she

went to the guy isn't neat. And it's weird because

he was the guy, like it's implied in that one

flashback that he raised her. Yeah, when they

when they when when her mysterious family abandons

her it's it's own car plot played by Simon Pegg

who's like come on come on girl Mm -hmm. I mean,

yeah, like that's my shit. We'll get to that

We will we will get to all the nostalgia porn

that's in this movie and I'm not saying Absolutely,

like oh well, yes, the one thing I will not fault

them for is having the Falcon Absolutely, the

Falcon and the x -wings No, what? 30 years later.

Uh -huh. It's like... Dude, they would have new

ships. Oh, yeah, but... They had new ships in

the fucking original trilogy. By Return of the

Jedi, they had B -Wings and A -Wings. Yeah, but

the X -Wing just looks the best. I don't care.

Like, make something else. Like, it just... That

is absolutely... Like, even though the design

is neat... I like the design would be neat if

that ship was in Mandalorian because because

that would be like 10 years later Yeah, it's

30 years later. They needed a new ship. I hate

that they had x -wings I'm not a big fan of the

fact that they had TIE fighters but like I think

that fits with the fact that the First Order

had this sort of like Empire fetish so I was

kind of okay with that But it was it was just

like like you wonder you wonder why you don't

wonder but like why people keep going Oh, it's

just the first film over again. It's got the

same fucking ships One of the great things about

the prequels is that they had new shit. I love

the Ark 170. I can't remember what it's called,

but the Jedi TIE fighter that kind of looks like

a TIE fighter. Yep. Yeah, I love the N1. We talked

about that with the Mandalorian. It's an N1.

I'm like, oh, that was one of my favorite prequel

designs. You know, and I love the Ark 170 has

like it's like a little prototype X -Wing because

it's got like a little little foils. Like it

was new stuff. And even in like Rogue One, they

had like the U -Wing, you know, which I love.

I love the new stuff. Like why just and I know

why, because it's everybody knows what an X -Wing

is. Yeah, X -Wings. And then the Empire will

have I mean, the first order, whoops. Well, Stormtroopers,

and they'll have ADATs, and it'll have TIE fighters.

I have Star Wars. I have Star Wars on like five

different copies. I've got it on two different,

I've got it on beta. Still, I've still got that

blobby beta. I've got it on two different versions

of VHS. I've got like two different versions,

I think three different versions of it on DVD.

I've seen Star Wars. I want to see something

in that universe that connects with it. but that

is a little bit different. Showing me X -Wings

again, that was one of the things that I hated

the most about the movie was the X -Wings. Yeah.

Unfortunately, I believe, at least on this movie

alone, I will probably say this again in the

next episode and in the episode after that when

we do the other two movies, I believe the sequel

trilogy was not for you. I believe the sequel

trilogy was for... Star Wars to make money to

get the normies back in What movie isn't made

to make money? Okay, but right, but I'm saying

like they wanted the new money I understand that

like like that but that's also a weakness of

the film like like, you know You know, there

had never been a John Wick before suddenly there

was a John Wick and it was like, oh, hey, this

is great Like, there had never been a Star Wars

before 1977. Something like, this is amazing.

I mean, yes, it was based on a bunch of, like,

it synthesized a bunch of pre -existing things.

My point is, yeah, I understand that they played

it super safe to bring in the normies. I get

that. But that's also, that also rebounds to

the detriment of the film. Well, I think my point

is, like, they could, like, okay, so they...

They didn't have a super major space battle,

like the battle is really on the planet between

the X -Wings and the TIE fighters for the most

part. They could have had new ships having...

So this to me reminds me literally of, at this

point 40 plus years ago, of Jedi, where you're

up here doing your job, we're down here on the

ground doing our job, like the split up of the

team. Kind of thing like where and then Phantom

Menace where that was a four -way Yeah, we're

up here doing our job and yeah, I fighting and

yeah, I was doing her thing and then there's

operation gungan shield. Yeah Okay, I know what

you said that's not what I heard Because I'm

like no Jar Jar don't put your tongue in that

shield Well no, I said Gungan Shield. I know

you said that. I know, I know. I'm kind of ripping

off South Park bigger, longer, and uncut. There

you go. You guys will all be Wave 1, Operation

Human Shield. That's right. So I mean, if there

were newer ships up in space doing the fighting,

sure, fine, but I still like seeing the stuff.

And really, what other new ship? What other new

design? We'll never know. Well, I know we'll

never know at this point, because it's done,

but I'm just saying, like... Well, they put the

E -wings in Ahsoka, and even though, like, it's

weird, because I hated the original design when

it was in Dark Empire, and I kind of... they

kind of look good in real life. Yeah. Which means

they had E -wings! Yeah, they had them. They

didn't want to use them. But Ahsoka came out

way after that, so you can't really hold Source

Awakens to that, canonically. Look, I'm just

saying, as a Star Wars fan, this is a thing that

bothered me. And I think one of the criticisms,

even from normies, is that it relied too much

on nostalgia. It didn't pave anything new. If

he's with the Resistance, monkeys might fly out

of my butt. He's such a bad liar. Well, that's

the joke. He's supposed to be a funny character.

Yeah, I know. I love how the ship that they want

to go to, which, hello, we knew this was going

to happen. The ship they want to take is blown

up. The garbage will do. It's a cute reveal for

the Falcon. I was paying attention to try to

see if you could see it in the background. I

don't think I ever spotted it kind of just haphazardly.

And it was covered with a tarp too. Yeah. That

tarp took entirely too long after they took off

to fall off the ship Yeah, and i'm not i'm not

saying i'm just stating that i'm just i'm not

taking that off his points or anything but um

I like how the two i like how both of them ray

and finn She's trying to fly the ship navigate

the ship and he's trying to use be the gunner

I like how they're like I can do this like yes,

you know, okay Okay, that reminds me because

you skip the character, which is bb -8. Yes and

Like my whole point about the x -wings BB -8

is a perfect 30 year later version of an Astromect

Yep, like I love BB -8 design wise conceptually

that looks like 30 years have passed and there's

a new kind of Astromect a new version of R2 Yep,

like and that's my point and like they well they

didn't go well We got to make them an R2 unit

because everybody knows what R2 units are so

like why couldn't they do that with the ships?

true Very true very true. Okay, so we guess and

I know my notes skip all over the place I can

go back to the Wikipedia we can go through this

line by line Which was which was cool, but they

didn't do anything with them Yeah, he's basically

just there to like give the map and then like

give a little bit of hint at who Kylo Ren is

You skip we skip though. There's there is a again

the little things are cool. There's a moment

where Kylo Ren Freezes like like a post shoots

at him and he freezes the blaster bolt Yeah,

and that's a great moment because that makes

the audience go. Oh shit even Vader never did

that Yeah, like and that thing stays so he must

really be he must like really be squinting his

eyes to stay Concentrated to keep that blaster

bolt frozen as long as it was yes That was a

cool detail and it yeah, it was it was it was

storytelling without belaboring it or out without

well, you know, like visual visual storytelling

This guy stopped a blaster ball. He must be a

badass, which is funny because later on at the

end When the only famous iconic scene when you

know the lightsabers in the snow and he's reaching

out to it And then Ray gets it like that takes

way too long Like you would think a guy that

can stop a blaster ball would be able to like

yank that out of the snow immediately But I think

what they were trying to do was to show that

because he, as a character... They were trying

to make it dramatic, dude. Well, yeah, no, they

were trying to make it dramatic so she would

get it, absolutely, but also by that point in

the movie, he is so conflicted between... Is

he? I thought the whole point after killing Han

was that he had clarity. Yeah, maybe. I don't

know, like... Because that's the whole thing

is like the sun is being drained and he's like,

please help me dad And then the last light fades

and then he's in the darkness and again, that's

actually kind of cool Like and then he's clearly

in darkness and then he chooses to murder Hong

I don't like that Hong got killed but like that

the way they did that was actually really good

I thought I think that was very good or well

directed Yes, like again like I To jump ahead.

I love the bit like huh? like Chewie shoots him

he's wounded through the whole fight with a Ray

and Finn. I love that little detail where he's

constantly punching the wound, making himself

angry. It's like a tick to get him to tap into

the dark side or something. It's a little detail,

like his lightsaber. I love that it spritz and

fritzes and doesn't seem to work quite right.

Little details are great. So I don't remember

what I said on the other podcast seven years

ago, and that's the thing, to bring up your point

about the lightsaber and how it's kind of all

over the place, is because no matter at what

point, whether it's the point that he chooses

to be the dark side or not, that lightsaber is

never a straight blade. No. I don't think. I'm

pretty sure it's... Well, it's a janky, yes,

absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the reason

why it is that way is the same thing I said a

second ago is that he is still torn between being

Ben Solo and Kylo Ren. He is still torn between,

I think if he had fully gone to the dark side,

his lightsaber would have literally gotten more

solid and less looking like a bad kindergartner's

drawing. I know what you're saying. I kind of

like I mean this lightsaber is a visual representation

of his Emotions these emotions, but like I think

it would have been weird if like suddenly he

suddenly got clarity and then the lightsaber

like cleaned up To me. It's like he when he built

it his emotions were Right and then obviously

he's you know, he never completely I mean obviously

at the very end he decides I mean the last film

he decides but like yeah, I get And I get it,

but like, no, I mean, yeah, it's a nice detail.

Like that's, again, all these things are going

to go, well, that's neat detail, but it's in

service of a mid -plot that goes nowhere overall.

Yeah. And that's the sad, unfortunate part about

a lot of the sequel trilogy. And again, I do

not remember the only, and again, this is me.

Me in with Nostalgia and taking a photo of Funko

Pops in front of my computer monitor X number

of years ago when The Last Jedi came out. I had

went to whatever, I think it was GameStop or

wherever. I got the Han Solo, I got the Lando,

and I think I got, I think Chewie's over here

somewhere from that. Or maybe it was, maybe that

was from Solo, I forget. Anyway, the point is,

is that I had Han, Chewie, and Lando as Funko

Pops. I still have them. And I took a picture

of Last Jedi when the Ad -Ads show up in the

sunset. Yeah. So that's what I remember about

The Last Jedi, because I haven't seen it since

that moment. Again, that's why I like going into

a lot of this stuff fresh with the Star Wars

stuff. And this movie, yeah, but I like having

a character that doesn't know Where his emotions

lie is he loyal to? This fake Emperor hologram

bullshit that I was that that broke like when

I realized that was a hologram the first time

I saw the movie Like cool if we've been like

a giant, you know But it was like how he's just

a hog And who is this guy snow cuz no cuz a stupid

name like them and to be fair, that's a long

Star Wars tradition Yeah, like dooku but I'm

like Like one of the things I always have an

issue with with this movie is when Leia goes,

Snoke seduced our son. That's like that's a line

of dialogue that should have been rewritten.

I mean, so if I remember, because let me I looked

it up on Wookiepedia because Wookiepedia. Well,

you can't trust that. That changes every five

minutes. Oh, I'm sorry. I should not make a joke

about this. Fighting among Star Wars fans. Yes,

yes, yes. But, like, Snoke is supposed to be

a hologram of eventually when the Emperor comes

back, correct? No, no. Like, there's an actual

physical Snoke. It's a puppet. That's right.

Snoke is a puppet of the Emperor. The Emperor

is puppeting the physical body of Snoke. Yeah,

that's what it is. Because he's in a union. Yeah,

that's what it is. He's puppeting him. Somebody

call Jeff Dunham, please. Exactly. And I think

that's why it had to be a hologram. And I also

think the hologram is a good one. Like, yes,

in retrospect. Yeah, but we think is I'm sitting

there in theaters in 2015. And frankly, considering

that we know they didn't have a frickin road

plan that they took seriously, it could have

been a giant that would have been It would have

been, to me, it would have been neat because

it would have contrasted with Yoda. It was very

small and very calm, very one with the force.

And then the bad guys are big because power is

big and it shows off and it, you know, shoves

its shoulders around and it's, oh, look at me,

I'm big and strong. And, you know, it would have

been a nice visual contrast because the hologram

obviously has to be big to be intimidating. You

want to actually have the character be big. And

he is tall, like he's taller than a normal human.

I have the action figures. But I was disappointed.

I was disappointed because I was like, oh, he's

a giant. And he's like, no, it's a hologram.

It's a hologram. That's right. But I remember

thinking, wow, I can't wait to learn the interesting

backstory behind this fascinating new character,

this guy who's taken up the emperor's reins.

What will his deal be? He's a puppet of the emperor.

He's the dooku of the sequel trilogy. Okay to

be fair, you know what? You say that now my attitude

has changed slightly because to be fair Lucas

loved to introduce interesting characters and

then just sort of jobs them off. Yep, like they

were nothing Yeah, so that's sort of fits job

job Abrams. There you go. I Didn't do it like

that's no when we get there. That's one of my

favorite moments again The thing you'll hear

over and over again when we talk about last Jedi

is I just assumed they had a plan Yeah, which

is why I loved stuff that like stuff would happen.

I mean, oh, that's amazing I can't wait to see

where they go with that when we went where they

went with that was like, oh my god I can't believe

he did that like the people behind the scenes

were like he just He put all the toys in the

driveway and he ran over them and crushed them.

What do we do now? Like because at the time I

thought oh they know what they're doing and they're

gonna deal with this and this is this and instead

Rise of Skywalker is this horrible mess where

they're trying to undo everything that happened

in Last Jedi and also finish the story. But when

I was watching Last Jedi, I was just like, this

is great, this is anarchy. They blew up, first

of all, they blew up all the fucking X -Wings.

I was like, yes, now they'll have to have a new

ship. They killed a bunch of the nostalgia characters,

and I was like, oh, that's kind of sad, but also

they'll have to have new characters. Yep. Talking

about Kylo Ren again, and I know we'll talk a

little bit more about Rey in a little bit, but

angry children should not have lightsabers when

they receive bad news. Oh my god. Yeah, that's

a great scene where he lashes out and freaks

out and the stormtroopers are walking down the

corridor and they look at each other and like...

Yeah, no, we're just gonna back up. Yep back

away slowly back away apparently Ironically,

this would get more play now than it did back

then but apparently the story is he was he was

inspired somewhat by actual Star Wars fans Sort

of get emotional about things. Yes surprising

that No, but that's that I just think they did

it one too many times like Okay Because he only

really only has that one. He has two freakouts

in the movie. Okay. Yep. Yep That's second one

though If the stormtroopers didn't do that the

first one or the second the second one if the

stormtroopers didn't do that I would have said

it was too much but because they did but that's

perfect because that lets you know that he does

it all the time. Yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah, exactly.

But that's what I'm saying. If that wasn't there,

it would be like, why are you just coming back

again? Yeah. Let's talk about Ray before I get

into it, because basically the next seven notes

I have are just nothing but haunt porn. Okay.

All right, I'll run through these then we can

get to Ray. No, no, no, that's fine. Chewie,

we're home. Yeah, I know. That was for the trailer.

That line was a trailer line. Yes, but if that

line wasn't a trailer line, this movie wouldn't

have made the billions of dollars that it made.

Yeah, I knew him. I knew Luke. The same thing

I always do. I talk my eye out of it. Yes, I

do. Every single time. Jesus, I've got a bad

feeling about this. This is not how I thought

this day was going to go. It's true. This is

another trailer line, I think. It's true. All

of it. The Sith, the Jedi, the Force. And that's

weird. It's weird that they treat it like this

myth. Okay, so, and I know you know this mister.

I have every Star Wars toy ever, and I know it

all. He was always a skeptic, right? Yes, he

was. And he says that. He says, I didn't believe

in it either. Right. I didn't believe in it either.

But it's true. All of it. So he's finally...

It's a good moment for Han. It's one of the few

times that Han gets to be 30 years later Han,

as opposed to New Hope Han. Yes, exactly. And

that's why I like it. All right. Rey. Oh, boy.

I like her. The problem with Rey in this movie

is that she's a blank... It's hard to criticize

her because there are two more movies to come

and you don't know, you know what I mean? It's

like this is their introduction and like Luke

wasn't really that developed in the first movie

either. So yeah Yeah, exactly. Like that's and

it's not really I'm gonna say it's my problem

But it I don't really have a problem with it

But the problem I see with Ray in this movie

is that even by the end of Star Wars Luke had

slightly more of a character build throughout

the film. He didn't have much, but he had slightly

more than what she gets. I agree. I like her

as a character, but I cared more about the defected

Stormtrooper become Jedi than I did about her

in this movie. All she wants to do is get back

to Jakku. Well, because her family's coming to

pick her up. This is her whole again. This is

her whole arc. My family is coming for me someday

Yeah, I like her as an actress. I guess I don't

The character is kind of a nothing character.

It's it's a cheap wash on Luke Yeah, and the

only thing she really does is there's that little

bit at the beginning when she's with Finn and

he keeps grabbing her hand and trying to pull

her along She's like stop it like that's yeah

Modern sort of, oh, the heroine doesn't need

the guy to pull her along. She's her own woman.

And it's like, oh, OK. And they drop that eventually,

pretty quickly. So I was like, and then there's

the thing where she has the stupid thing on the

falcon. I can't remember what it's called. But

there's a doohickey, that unkar plot, installed

on the falcon that limits its heart. Remember?

Oh, yeah, yeah. And she's the one who figures

out how to get rid of it. Because there's there's

stuff that's not in the movie like this is gonna

be a thing there's stuff that's not in the movie

about how she was repairing the Falcon for own

car plot Which is why she knows it so well But

why tell us that instead let her be magic girl

who knows how to fly the Falcon is good as Han

Solo You know like if you remember Luke had to

be told that the force can have an effect on

weak minds Whereas she's just like oh even though

this thing that I've heard is just a vague myth

that is real apparently I can use it to control

people's minds and use it to do stuff that I

never knew I could do I do like that scene. It's

a cute scene, but how does she even know to do

that? Okay, so... And by the way, remember her

whole thing before that was, oh no, I don't want

nothing to do with the Force. Yeah. But she...

I think that's after they find the lightsaber,

right? It is after they find the lightsaber.

She finds the lightsaber and then she freaks

out and runs away. She wants nothing to do with

the Force. Right, right, right. I agree. But

I think as she goes along, she realizes... When?

Because she gets captured by Kylo Ren right after

that. Right. That's when she realizes, oh shit,

I need to learn this supposed fake religion bullshit.

When did she learn it? We don't know how many

hours that she had been... Sitting there. Where

did she learn it from? Oh, they have one TV.

Well, we don't all need. Oh, wait, why do we

have Jedi training videos on the monitor? Why

do we do that? That was a mistake. That guy over

there, that guy is playing Galaga. He didn't

think we would see him, but we saw it. So just

a side note in my Avengers display, my Harry

display, there's actually a little tiny Galaga

video game or console. So I have a little shield

trooper playing Galaga. You know who that stormtrooper

was, right? The guy that she does the mind trick

on? No. Daniel Craig. Oh, damn. Oh, God. All

I can think of is I think it was when they were

doing the Cowboys and Aliens media stuff and

he was on Kimmel. Daniel Craig is my wookie bitch

now. Oh, God. Daniel Craig's my wookie bitch

now. Daniel Craig is my wookie bitch now. I've

got a buddy of mine, Pecan Court Michael, Michael

Wilson. We used to use that line all the time

in other podcasts that we did years ago, and

he did... a speed up of him saying it. And it's

just so hilarious hearing my buddy's voice in

chipmunk sound saying, Daniel Craig is my wookie

bitch now. Oh, God. Oh, boy. That's cool that

that, hey, man, you know, you got to get whatever

crossovers you can get, right? James Bond and

all that good stuff and everything else. Can

you imagine James Bond in Star Wars? Yeah. Oh,

wait, that's more damn right. No, I can't. Because

Bond was created by Ian Fleming during World

War II. And Star Wars is very influenced by World

War II. I can imagine a spy story set in Star

Wars. That's not exactly what Andor is, but there's

elements of that. I could see that. And of course,

the first James Bond movie I ever saw in the

theater was Moonraker, which is basically like,

hey, Star Wars made a lot of money. Exactly we

can put everybody in space now that Star Wars

is made the money it's made but that's kind of

well It wasn't Star Wars. You got to realize

start because back then the thinking was okay

Star Wars was the science fiction movie that

made money, right? So it's done like they yeah

So it was close encounters that came out and

made money. They're like, oh, they're the genre

has legs Yeah, cuz that's what that's what scuppered

the Star Trek movie with Star Wars came out and

they were like, oh Like they they beat us to

the punch now. We can't do a movie Let's do a

new TV show and then the close encounters came

out and like, okay, like people will pay to go

see science fiction movies We'll do this movie

again. Yeah, holly never as someone who has actually

met and had a meal with a Hollywood producer

Never underestimate their stupidity And I know

that's arrogant of me to say But oh my god. It's

true. These guys come straight out of set like

imagine central casting for like a Larry David

show about Hollywood or a camera. But like like

a very sarcastic version of us. But just imagine

the guys that come straight out of central casting.

I'm a Hollywood producer. I have arrogance and

money and don't know shit about anything. Yeah

As much as I wanted to find out about Finn I

think the way that the writing did it My note

was can we please get back to the action enough

with this Finn backstory like it took too long

What backstory when he's was he talking to this

was after? This is after they said get you someone

who can get the BB unit to the resistance It's

when he is talking to Ray, I believe, about who

he is and where he comes from and how he knows

what he knows. Okay, that's like a real quick

scene, buddy. It played a little long for me

today when I watched the movie this morning.

So the... I don't know. I understand they have

too many characters, almost, but you got Finn,

you got Poe, you got Rey. Well, again, a funny

story. Poe was supposed to die pretty early.

Right. And they loved Oscar Isaac so much they

kept him around. Yeah. So that's where my thing

comes in, where Finn lands or crashes. And he's

in an ejection seat. Yeah, he's in an injection

sheet and he goes to the ship and Poe's not there

and he assumes Poe's dead. And then all of a

sudden Poe just shows up 20 minutes later. Did

they, was there a line? Yes. I don't, there is

a line. He woke up at night and he went back

to the wreck and he couldn't find Finn. Couldn't

find, okay, that's right. Okay, okay, okay. Like

I said, I like Poe as a character. He's very...

He's the Han Solo character. Yeah, he's the Han

Solo character, but he's the Han Solo character

that actually will get in an X -Wing, not just

sit in the Millennium Falcon. Oh, yeah, he's

a little... He's got Han Solo's sass. Luke Skywalker's

heart. Yeah, that's his right word. Yeah, and

then he's got bigs and wedges of X -Wing piloting

skills. I bet Han could, like, run rings around

people in an X -Wing. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm

sure. And then we get to the big reunion. Oh,

God. I almost broke down because she's... it's

been... eight years? It's been since 17, 18?

2016, I thought. 16, okay. Yeah, she died right

after filming Last Jedi. Oh, she's on an airplane

going back from right in Britain But yeah, so

seeing that I was like, oh, oh Man just yeah,

that was But seeing the two of them seeing the

characters come back and hearing the little bit

of history over the last 30 years and continuity

of them being parents and Husband and wife finally

and all this and all that my the one thing I

wrote down was Leia Don't do that. Do what? anything

like yeah, that's See again This is one of my

knocks on the film is that and there's they have

a line of dialogue that kind of covers it where

it's like, you know I went back to what I understood

and she's like we both did it's like Okay, then

we just got robbed. Yeah of seeing Han and Leia

together of seeing them as a couple, of seeing

this thing that was set up at the end of Jedi,

so that Han could be Han Solo, and Leia could

be Leia, the leader of people, and it's like,

they're just the same characters again, except

older, and it's just, you're robbed of that,

and I know a lot of people are really bitter

that we never got to see the three of them together.

Personally, I'm a little meh, but I get it. I

mean, we've seen them in not necessarily the

older selves of them, but we've seen them in

photos from... In photos? But I mean, story -wise,

we want to see how they play it together. Yeah,

that's that's very true. And I just looked it

up. December 27th of 2016 is when Carrie had

passed away. That's very close to the end of

the year. Yeah, no, no, no, it's fine. But I

love I love the two of them in this. I really

like this movie made me want to and I don't know.

Well, obviously, probably not much more. I don't

I don't think there's anything with I don't remember.

We'll find out in the next episode, folks. But

seeing this after this long time of only seeing

the movie once seven years ago, I want more of

that. I want more of Leia. Everybody did. Yeah,

everybody did. I want more of Leia, Han, and

Ben. I want Ben to not be... Follow his grandfather's

footsteps. Yeah. The other lines I wrote down

is, we'll get you there. Han, how? If I told

you, you wouldn't like it. Because he knows every

hairbrained scheme he's ever had, she has never

liked. So I want to go on a little slight tangent,

because there was another character that showed

up in that scene. Everybody's favorite C -3PO.

And you might not have recognized him because

of the red arm. What? I... Probably there's a

line. There's a literally a line from the movie.

You might not have recognized me because of my

red I know I know the line but Did they ever

say is there so in the movies they did not? And

here's the thing like this is the the and I have

a theory that this whole thing was kind of a

cute little joke Because if you because but in

the comics he had an adventure and there was

a robot with a red There was a red robot and

it got destroyed. So he like changed his arm

to red to honor him, which is stupid. But in

the movie, he says, I've got to get my gold arm

back. I've got to get my original arm back. He

says that, which is weird if this is supposed

to be a tribute to his friend. And at the very

end of the movie, he's got his gold arm back.

Because I paid attention. The first time I ever

did a podcast about this, the guy was like, oh,

no, he still had a red arm at the end of the

movie. I'm like, did he? No, he has a gold arm.

My theory is that this was actually a very clever,

subtle joke. that Chewie had ripped his arm off.

Because there's that famous, you know, droids

don't rip people's arm off when they lose. Because

he only gets the gold arm back after the Millennium

Falcon shows up. So I kind of imagine that this

arm was lying around in a heap somewhere on the

Millennium Falcon for 40 years. But technically,

there's a comic that says he changed his arm,

and then I guess apparently like somewhere in

the course of the episode... In the course of

Force Awakens, he decided that his buddy was

a dick and didn't need to be honored anymore,

so he just changed it back for no reason. Stuff

like that drives me crazy, but I think it was

a joke. I'm willing to bet that Kasdan or whoever

wrote the script, if you ever heard of this,

he's going to be like, yeah, that guy gets it.

There's no other explanation. Yeah, there's no

specific explanation. That doesn't contradict

itself. Yeah, very true. And because we are on

the search for the thing or the human or the

whatever... Speaking of speaking, there was another

character that got re -introduced kind of around

that time. And another thing that I hate about

this movie... Oh, no. ...is R2 -D2's space coma.

Oh, R2 -D2 just went into a convenient coma the

minute that Luke Skywalker disappeared. I hope

it will someday end. Fuck this movie. Remember

our two space coma really made me angry the first

time I saw it But like it's still irritated the

crap out of me this time because it is entirely

deus ex machina It is entirely thought like with

you and what's funny to me is in the scene where

Kylo Ren interrogates Ray right? Yeah, he says

oh we got the map from the Imperial archives

except for the piece that's missing Well, if

you have the big like this is one of things like

this whole thing stupid Yeah, that's a big map

of the galaxy and all you need is this one section

that's missing. Can't you kind of figure out

what's missing? I mean, I realized well, okay,

and here's the thing I would make the argument

space is big but Like JJ Abrams doesn't understand

that as based in Star Trek and in this movie

because they look up the sky and they see a solar

system God knows how many light years away be

vaporized Mm -hmm. Like so apparently Abrams

doesn't understand that space is big Yeah, like

like just can't and even if it is big like like

how big is it that this one little section is

missing? Like can't you like? Because I mean

they they found half base Yes, probed out all

over the place. Like you can't figure out where

the fuck Luke is He's a hole in the map. Why

is this a pipe? How did they get a hole like

how did the archives lose a hole in the map the

galaxy? And I know I and I know it's a digital

archive But I'm thinking, like, old -timey, like,

actual maps. And I know that's not what it is

and whatever, fine. But, like, I'm sitting there

thinking, it's a LEGO piece. You bastards. It's

just, what it is is a dumb Deus Ex Machina puzzle

piece for the mystery box. And it's like and

the movie won't work if anybody's smart or things

work the way they're supposed to work and imagine,

you know And it's just it's just irritating Today

they have such low like either they have such

low opinion of their viewers or such high opinion

of their dumb little We're gonna keep Luke a

mystery to the end. We know who Luke is. We know

who Luke like yeah, we know who he is we don't

know Yeah, what is the mystery here and we'll

get to that at the end because I love how, even

though he knows what the force is, how does he,

I don't know, that's not how the force works.

It's a cute line. It's a cute line and I love

it. I really do. And then I like the thing right

after it where Chewie walks by him and he's like,

oh really, you're cold? Yes. Again, there's a

lot of cute little details in the movie. Yeah.

Ford is great. Ford shows up to act. Absolutely.

Which is great. But it also makes the fact that

he just kind of gets killed off summarily, it

makes the lane. I mean, it's a good moment. It

works. But it's just, I don't know. I feel, like

I said, this time it's like a double. the first

time it was underwhelming because it was basically

star wars over again this time it's like double

because it's like You know like you you really

are aware of all the stuff that you're not gonna

get paid off you know like so you don't give

it you like I gave it a hard pass the last time

because You know who knew we're setting everything

up. We got to do all the heavy lifting We got

to get people back on board after the prequels.

Yep, you know, so, okay Okay, we're sacrificing

this movie for the benefit of the later movies

But I know now that there is no There is no payoff

for the later movies. Yeah, so it's like then

this is just bad and lazy and stupid. Mm -hmm

Although they at least like and then the one

scene that didn't bother me as much this time

around is when they blew up the the New Republic

And it wasn't course. I did you know that it's

the house. Yes. The Hosni system. It was not

Coruscant Because we have to find a way to go

back to the magical glowing city at some point

Well, I mean, you know, it's at least it's a

different location than fucking Tatooine or Zaku.

I agree. I'm not disagree. Hello. Look, I I'm

fine with going back and maybe, you know, having

a drink at Mos Eisley or wherever the fuck. I

don't know. Whatever the hell. Fine. Whatever.

Spaceport this spaceport that space like and

really like. Ha and I think Harrison did more

pirate work in this movie than most of the other

ones Yeah, all of these pirate adventures that

we Suppose that like, you know, it's like I got

to go back to Java I gotta pay Java off and then

as you know in the audience knows at the end

of that movie. Yeah There you go kid Blow it

up so we can all go home I like the lightsaber

battle between Finn and Ren and then Rey and

Ren But I think I like the battle between Finn

and Kylo more than Rey and Kylo Okay, it's a

cool lightsaber battle. I don't know it was cool.

But like again They go nowhere with like there's

always this little hint of like because like

when they're on Jakku Like Kylo Ren looks over

at him and he's like, hmm, something's off with

that guy. And then he's like, oh, it's that one

storm trooper from the village. And you know,

it's almost, they always hinted that something

was with Finn. Yeah. And they never go anywhere

with it. That's the biggest problem is that he

is the biggest mug. I know you're not, you like

Transformers, but you're like. Come between the

two of us. I probably yeah between the two of

us definitely between the two of us I'm the Transformers

guy. You're the Star Wars guy. I bow before your

Star Wars knowledge, etc, etc So the matrix of

leadership for the Autobots is this I'm aware

of it the biggest MacGuffin One of the biggest

MacGuffins in training night, right? It's a knife

That was cruel of me, I'm sorry I'm so very,

very sorry. That's like me saying the Death Star

is a cookie jar. I mean, I know they've made

it a cookie jar, but I would love it. Well, I

would love a Death Star cookie jar, but it would

not replace it. They have one, don't they? I

have a cookie monster, so I would not replace

it. Oh, God. Anyway, you're... Anyway, my point

is that... Matrix. Finn is the biggest McGuffin

in this whole fucking movie because they don't

do anything with him. At least they did something

with the Matrix. Yeah. He's not even scuffing

because they give it all the ray. Yeah. And what's

really sad is, did you ever watch, there was

like, I can't remember if it was a commercial

or was just a video on YouTube of Boyega and

one of his buddies and the trailer was just hitting.

And so they were watching the trailer for the

first time. And that scene where he turns on

the lightsaber is in the trailer. Like there's

they just you know, they're like a couple of

dudes who like yeah, they're so excited and they're

jumping around It's like it's so badass and it's

like Dude, they they did you dirty my friend.

I feel so bad Cuz you go nowhere after that and

it sucks and it's just it just it's heartbreaking

cuz he's just you need to watch You're not a

big monster movie fan. So you might not like

it. I don't think it's particularly violent or

bloody or anything, but like He's so Talented

I mean, oh, I'll watch the movie I mean if it

gets to a point where like in Jurassic Park when

the t -rex eats somebody like somebody on the

toilet and all that I'll just look away Well,

first of all, you can't really the monsters are

so cool because they're basically I think they're

like wolves or bears But you don't know because

their fur is not black. It's like negative. It's

like they're just inky black boys Yeah, it's

a blob. But their teeth are translucent. When

you see them about to bite somebody, you can

see these glowing blue teeth. They're so cool.

It is such a good movie. It is an underrated

gem that somehow snuck out. I'm glad I saw whatever

video I saw that mentioned it. Well, Attack of

the Block coming to studio 2009 sometime in 2025.

I'll do it. Dude, I know what happened. That's

the point. That's the freaking point, dude. Coming

sometime in 2025, because the 2024 schedule is

literally full. I can't move anything. Like,

everything's pretty much set in stone for the

end of this year. I get it. I understand your

frustration with Coma R2. And I understand your

frustration of, oh, he just kind of wakes up

now. And I like that he woke up. I wish he woke

up earlier. Wish she woke up earlier in the movie

I wish we saw him early like I would have loved

to have had When she when they go to whatever?

Planet it is when she's like I've never seen

so much green in my entire life. It's a good

moment Yeah, no, it's a good moment, but that

scene with her and and BB -8 I wish R2 was somewhere

there. I wish it was with fucking Luke Okay,

yes, why is he not exactly? They needed they

needed the scene where R2 comes in and provides

the rest of the map. The map, right. Which again,

I mean, it's not. Okay, a lot of people and you

and I have talked about this. I forget where

you stand, but a lot of people will chastise

my opinion of R2 -D2 had a jetpack. I fucking

love that like R2 -D2 jets in Sith. I love that!

Everybody's like, no, that's horrible. I'm like,

no, it's not. It's cool! R2 is cool! I think

the explanation is that Anakin tinkered with

him, which makes sense. The Jets got destroyed

during the end of Revenge of the Sith or something.

I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I like R2 coming

in and having these either badass or poignant

moments to the movie. Otherwise, generally, I

would have wanted him to come in earlier, like

I just mentioned, but because they had to use

him as the keeper of the map. He's literally

a DSX Machina. Yep, pretty much. Okay, final

no end credit scene. Movie over. So I have a

question. Yes. The shot of Luke, right? I've

always believed that he's standing at a grave

because it looked there's this one weird little

stone. That's kind of it's kind of curved It's

coming above the ground and to me I always thought

like my well at least until the next movie I

thought he was standing at a grave site somebody's

grave thoughts Yes, yeah, I could see that I

that would like but Keeping in mind the next

movie completely ignores everything that I set

up. Yeah. Yeah, I Okay, I'm trying to think I'm

trying to think of whose grave it could be Oh,

but whose grave could it have been? I don't know.

Maybe we could have hired a writer who cared

about Star Wars Exactly. It could have been Mar

-Jade's grave. It could have been his kid's grave.

Like yeah, it could have been anything maybe

Mother's grave who knows? Yeah, maybe it was

see that's what they should so to give her some

story other than I have to get back to Jakku.

I am waiting on someone to come. I'm waiting

on my family to return. Maybe, unfortunately,

very sad, your family's not going to return because

they're dead. Well, they are. Okay, yeah, but

I'm saying, like... Well, like, look, what's

her face? Maskatana. Yeah. It literally tells

her that. She says, you know they're never coming

back. Oh, that's... Okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah,

but like again, I don't I don't know what it

is with this movie it just seems like even though

I liked it and The location that she finds Luke

in yeah, you would think yes. Yeah. No, it's

gorgeous but I'm saying like those look to be

and I'm just using this as like Mayan as Tekken,

they look to be some sort of ruins that you would...

It's an actual site in Ireland and those are

actual, I think a lot of those structures are

actual, the actual structures that are there,

that weren't built for the movie. Right. I mean,

I say Celtic out of complete ignorance of the

British Isles, because that's the wild people

of the British Isles as far as I know. So I really

want to put that name of that planet into Google.

Which people believe is the planet that was at

the end of acolyte that Although it's interesting

because there wasn't a single porg on screen

yeah in Force Awakens, I mean they had birds

flying around all over the place where they didn't

have porgs. Yeah So right there like zero out

of five stars Now that you say the name of it,

I'm like, oh god. Kind of reminds me of a meme

that's been going around this year. Yes, I am

aware of the meme. Yes, and we are not going

to go there because... Why not? Why not? I'm

going to put on my angry YouTuber Star Wars fan

hat. Why not? Because that's what Kathleen Kennedy

did to the entire Star Wars franchise. Oh god.

Overall, I like the movie. I thought it was good.

Overall, I like the movie as a whole with the

story that has holes in it. But overall, everything

that's here, all of the nostalgia porn that's

in this is why I like this movie. I like the

new characters, except the new characters aren't

given enough because there's too much nostalgia

porn in it. Agreed. I wish the new characters

got more, like, there's a difference in being

a subtle hint. Like the Star Destroyer at the

beginning, when we see the thing, not in space,

on Jakku, the crashed one. Yeah, that's great

images. Yeah, great images, amazing images. And

then this movie becomes a fight between the new

characters and the old characters in the writing

of how the plot goes forward or backward or upside

down or inside out or outside in. It's kind of

like the writer had a raspberry beret, but they

didn't know what the fuck to do with it. Kind

you find in a secondhand store. That's right.

Kind you find in an R2D2 store or something.

Exactly. What are your overall... You know, I'm

thinking about it, and this is going to sound

very hyperbolic, but it's almost the worst of

all possible worlds because it is one of the

best -made bad films ever made. It is crafted

so well. I keep talking about all these little

details, all these little images, all these little

moments with the characters. It's all so good,

but it's in service of nothing. The movie itself

is just kind of disappointing and doesn't go

anywhere. it's worse now that we know where it

doesn't lead to, you know? Like, we just said

that bit about, like, my theory about Luke the

Grave, and we're like, oh my god, that could

be, who could that be? And it's like, yeah, who

could that be? Like, it's just frustrating. And

then the nostalgia felt very baity. Like, I know

Rogue One got criticized very heavily for being

nostalgia bait, but I think it was appropriate

because it was set during that time, you know?

Whereas this is, and it had new stuff. Like if

you paid attention, it had new things. Whereas

this is set 30 years later and it's got old things.

It's a well done movie that's disappointing.

Like I said, I was frustrated watching this movie.

I wasn't angry. I was just like, none of this

is in service of anything worthwhile. And the

sad twisted irony of movie making is that The

writing is the cheapest thing. And it's the thing

they always skimp on. Yeah. So yeah, it's just

it's it's it's it is really, you know, heartbreaking

to me. And even I'm going to I'm really going

to cross the line here. Race theme is a good

theme. Like, I mean, I named my dog after Ray

because of the theme. Basically because because

I had a little bass a hound and then I do do

do you watch a bass hound walk kind of? But the

soundtrack like the soundtracks for the sequel

trilogy are not that great Like I think John

Williams. He's old and I don't think there is

good like that one theme was strong but the soundtracks

themselves are a little disappointing like overall

I just feel Frustrated and disappointed by this

movie We are as I mentioned. Oh, can I can I

can one more interjection? Yes, I got the art

of Force Awakens and they talk about one of the

stories they were going to do and That made me

furious. Oh, no, because they were gonna have

Darth Talon. You know who that is. You're coming

Oh, Darth Talon is this sexy Sith? Twilight babe

Okay, where's this black bikini and she's got

like, you know, she's she looks like Darth Maul

as a Twilight girl. Okay She was going to go

around and seduce Luke's Padawans and murder

them like a Bond movie. I'm like, oh my God,

why did we not do this? That's the other thing

instead. Yeah. Never. My cardinal rule of failure

as a storyteller is telling me you could have

told a more interesting story. Yeah. And I just

like the movie was dead to me from the moment

I was like, we could have had Darth Talon. Why?

Yeah, I yeah As I said before we are gonna do

separate episodes individual episodes are we

the each of the trilogies on the scores on the

scores on the scores on the scores So that way

we can continue 12 months of Star Wars next year

at least for three episodes Hopefully by next

year Skeleton crew, I forget when skeleton crew

is supposed to release, I think they said, anyway,

it doesn't matter. I think it's like in the spring,

it's early, before Andor, so that's all I'm bitter

and angry about. Okay, so on our geek meter scale

board, with the way our descriptions are, I have

to go with 3 .5 out of 5, which is good. And

good says a mixed bag, but the good stuff outweighs

the bad. There might be one amazing element and

lots of fun moments that make the flaws easier

to swallow. They're not deal breakers, but they

do hold it back. I'm going to go 2 .5. And the

only reason I'm giving it 2 .5 is I think there

is a lot of good in it. Like Darth Vader, there's

good in it, but like Darth Vader, it's also mostly

bad. Yeah, I guess it's just it's disappointing

like they had they had Every like you know, it's

not like you go Well, if they'd had more of a

budget if they had more time they had this they

had that I mean they had everything Yeah, and

this is what we got. Yeah, so no 2 .5 is generous.

I'm sorry. Yeah, no, I I was like, you know,

there's a lot that I like. It looks good. Like

the effects are like literally to me amazing.

Like it looked like the Millennium Falcon was

flying around over a planet. Like not blue screen.

Like it looked like a real Millennium Falcon

was really flying. Abrams is really good at like

the cockpit shots of the cockpit shots of the

fighters. It looks like they're really in a cockpit.

The effects are great. Mm -hmm. It looked great

all those little details Kylo Ren punching your

side the janky lightsaber Harrison Ford came

to play like there's a lot that's good, but that

makes me dislike the movie more Because it's

in service of nothing and that's that's that's

heartbreaking. So yeah, two point five two point

five is generous Yeah, what do we recommend this

film to people you're asking me? No, no seriously

skip skip the sequel trilogy you don't need it

you don't need it until they until they do the

10th movie with ray you do not need the sequel

trilogy and if they never do it then you never

need the sequel trilogy well they better do something

quick because they need money Well, okay, they

need money. So like throw another 200 million

dollars after well, but I'm saying like they

need to do something Yes, they have to spend

money to play you get to spend money to make

money even if you're in debt Unfortunately, I

know that's not how it works. But it's just one

of those things where Star Wars right now in

2024 needs something to let it die that or Bring

it back to I don't know. Okay. Nobody wants like

the problem is the people running it don't want

to do that They don't want to make a good Star

Wars because Star Wars is icky and it's a boy's

property and we want to do this DEI nonsense

and be inclusive and blah blah blah. The only

thing that's good out of it is Andorid and I'm

really worried that because of all the praise

of Andorid that the people at the top notice

it now. Before it was just this weird dumb little

thing that they let them do without paying attention

and it was brilliant and now that the other people

are talking about it, it's like Well, now we

want to get involved. Yeah. Oh, please don't

touch my end door. Oh, yeah. I look forward to

that. No. Well, you're going to go to a quick

podcast ad break and we'll come back to close

the show. Pay tribute to the life of James Earl

Jones and all the other good stuff. We'll be

back. right after this. Grab your helmets because

it's time to assemble Mask. Mask Mayhem is here

with your host TF2 and Mike Optima Solo and brand

new host Toon Master Tim. This podcast covering

all 75 episodes of Mask will feature in -depth

analysis of every episode, talk on the toys and

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You can find us on iTunes and www .geecastradio

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is the ultimate weapon. Do you like the Transformers?

Yes. Do you like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Cowabunga! Do you like IDW Comics? And comic

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Or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from their IDW

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kid. The show can be found on your favorite podcatcher

and at JohnReadsComics .com. See you then. We

brought the entire convention center to the brink

of an inter -genre geek war. Okay, Michael, if

we're going to tackle this podcast thing, we've

got to do something really special. It has to

be Cool, daily, in audio form, and undetectable

by radar. Something that screams summer. I know,

let's do a Phineas and Ferb review podcast. We'll

call it the Podcast Organization Without a Quill

acronym, or Pauka for short. What do you think?

I think if we're not careful, Candice is gonna

bust us. You can find Pauka on the GeekCast,

Radio Network, iTunes, Blog Talk Radio, and all

of the other methods you find podcasts. We'll

give you the whole seat, but you'll only need

the head. Alright, folks, we are back here on

episode 104 of Studio 2009. And sadly, even though

at 93 years old, he lived an amazing life, sadly,

James Earl Jones passed away recently. In the

last couple of months by the time you people

are hearing this in December of 2024, so I'm

Specifically calling this out that we recorded

this literally Almost a week after he died. Not

even a week. It's not going today. Really? Oh

boy now I got a look Anyway, uh Oh love Darth

Vader, but what other things do you remember

Mr. Jones from? Serak the Preparer. What's that?

The Simpsons. He was in the first Halloween episode.

That's right, that's right. He was Serak the

Preparer and they made him cry. He was in Dr.

Strangelove. He was in an episode of one of my

favorite TV shows is Homicide Life on the Street.

And he was in a guest star on that and I was

like, ooh. And of course, the irony, poor Disney

can never catch a break, Mufasa. Now the big

Mufasa movie's coming out. See how that's gonna

play out. I bet they embarrassed themselves making

like, a big tribute to James Earl Jones. They're

probably gonna do that. Even though he's not

in the movie. At the time of recording, September

12, 2024, even though you won't hear this until

December of 2024, he passed away September 9.

So literally four days ago. Yeah, Patriot Games

in 92. He was in Biggest. thing else. Between

Star Wars, the original trilogy and 1993, 93

was the Sandlot. He was Mr. Merle. He was the

neighbor. George signed this? You knew George?

Yeah, I knew George. I used to crowd the plate.

He used to say, hey, pitchers always hate it.

I love the Sandlot. Absolutely love the Sandlot.

I forgot he was the narrator in Judge Dredd,

which turns 30 years old next year. This is the

long one then. Wow. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

This is the long one. He was in Gang Related.

He was in Fantasia 2000. He was in Robo. He's

got a lot of voice roles besides. Oh, really?

Oh, yeah. That's wacky. I mean, he's got one

of the best voices in the world. The irony is

he had a bad stutter as a kid and he overcame

that. He overcame it. I guess I forgot that.

Oh, that's wrong. This is not a visual. No, I

know. I'm spoiling, spoiling myself on films

to come. He voiced Emperor Palpatine, but it's

impersonating Tart, so it's, it's... It's Ian

McDermid But he's impersonating and James did

the voice role for imperson the impersonation

his final role For for movies and was coming

to America. He was King Jeffy final film role

in 2021 So he retired three and a half years

ago Wow Yeah, he was if you're if you can keep

going keep going but absolutely like my thing

is I have a hard time getting all bent up if

someone makes it past like 70 and when you had

a good run man and the Final thing outside of

the movies the final thing in television That

he did was so literally he fully retired two

years ago He did four episodes of Vader in Obi

-Wan. Yes. So that's the true final role for

Mr. Jameson. I love the guy. He was always so

cool, so great. I know people say this, that

they don't like the big... Every time he showed

up in the Big Bang Theory, I loved it. I hate

the Big Bang Theory on principle, but... I will

say that by all accounts, he was a very nice

man. Because some famous people don't like fans.

I understand that, but he was very kind to his

fans. He seemed like a very good person. From

that standpoint, less than the celebrity or the

icon thing, I am sad that a good person is gone

from the world because we need as many as we

can get these days. Absolutely. I completely

agree. Normally you find clips on YouTube of

scenes from whatever it is and The clip I found

of his second appearance on the Big Bang Theory

when he came back to do a second guest role is

It's him and Sheldon Jim Parsons and they are

Sneaking off together to someone's house and

they're gonna ding -dong ditch Oh, yeah, I've

seen I've seen the yeah Okay, so the clip that

I found was the behind -the -scenes version of

the clip So you see the clip but in between?

Seeing the clip you have some of the producers

of the big bang theory talking about what it

was like having him on set having Carrie on set

and One of the things they say and I'll send

you this clip not because I want you to see the

scene It's because I want you to hear what the

produce even though I'm saying it now One of

the first things when they first came on set

she said to him dad. Oh Hello, you know Which

is so freaking cool. So that's the by the way,

we have to say because we'll get in trouble field

of dreams Yep, and Tulsa doom from Conan the

destroyer Conan the Barbarian Yeah, I mean gotta

get those in there Yeah. I think we're on nerd

cards. I know, right? Uh, yeah, feel the dreams.

Oh, and exorcist to the heretic! Mm -hmm. Yeah.

He was the guy in Africa. I'm sorry, he was.

He was. And one thing I forgot that I shouldn't

have forgot that I remember so much now, because,

um, I remember when he took it over, because

literally somebody shared a picture of it the

other day. Uh, whatever it was. He came in...

And say what you will about the say what you

will about the star of this series and how crazy

this this person is today this person is nuts

But as nutty as Tom Cruise is mr. Dean Cain say

what you will about him personally, but Lewis

and Clark the new invention of Superman James

Earl Jones as Franklin Stern came in and bought

the daily planet and there was my buddy Michael

Bailey shared a picture of the the scene of uh,

Lane Smith playing Perry White and James Earl

Jones playing Franklin's. I'm like, holy crap.

That's amazing. Cause I had forgotten that he

was on, on, uh, that one episode of Lois and

Clark, but yeah, I, I, I probably going to go

back and watch. I haven't seen field of dreams

in years. It's been so long. Oh my God. 89. I

got to find a way to fit it in the schedule.

God damn it. Well, it's 35 freaking years, man.

I'm just laughing. I'm just laughing at that.

I gotta get it on the schedule. It taunts me.

Yeah, absolutely. But yes, feel the dreams. I

absolutely love that. So fun. All right, folks,

I think that's going to do it for us. You can

find me on social media pretty much everywhere

at TF2 and Mike. Dave is pretty much nowhere.

He doesn't do social. Waldo. I want to be found.

Mm -hmm. That's right. I am at TF2 on Mike presents

on Instagram We are working on getting Steve

Megatron to record new outro stuff So that's

why I'm doing this little thing here instead

of my whole spiel because I've been told my My

spiel is kind of too long, but it is what it

is next time around an episode 105 We are gonna

be discussing Star Wars Episode 8 the last Jedi

Wait, just eight? Okay, so we are splitting them

up? I thought we were going to do the last two

together. Yeah, we'll record them together, but

they're going to come out separately. Oh, I see.

I see, I see, Sir Luke. Yes, yes. 12 months of

Star Wars, episode eight, The Last Jedi. For

now, I am TF2 and Mike with... Named Reaper.

You'll hear us back in the studio soon.