Secret Society, Hereafter, Wild Cards, and Comfort and Joy

Phew! Is it just me, or is there something going

on between those two? Will Green Lantern ever

admit to his feelings? Will Hawkgirl ever stop

sublimating her passions with that big honkin'

mace? Will true love conquer all? Not on my show.

The Secret Origins Podcast, Episode 10. Hello

and welcome to episode 10 of the Secret Origins

Podcast. I'm your host, DFTN Mike, and joining

me as usual is, yet again, another sick lupus

convoy. Hey, everybody. Yes, he's gonna try his

best to not sound sick, but he's dying over there,

and I don't want people to think I'm a stickler

and, you know, basically that I have a whip cracking

in his back saying, Do this damn podcast! Do

it now! Yes, he does. No, I don't. Shut up. He

beats me and then he puts me in the cage. And

then if I'm not good, he gets the hose. No comment.

Anyways, today we'll be reviewing four more stories

from Justice League. So, other than being sick,

how are you, sir? I'm dealing with a sadistic

math teacher. And no, ladies and gentlemen, I'm

not being the, you know, the whiny cray college

student. I was five minutes late, and my teacher

took a half -gallon -sized bag of D12s, dumped

them on the table, and said, congratulations,

make equations out of the results. You might

want to explain to the audience what a D12 is.

Oh, come on. It's a geek podcast, and people

don't know what a D12 is. Well, I don't, so explain

it, damn it. It's a 12 -sided dice. Die. So,

the results that you roll are going to be 1 through

12. Oh, okay, so it's something hard and just

stupid and math is evil and can die in a fire.

Yes. Oh my god, yes. Our teacher had assigned

80 pages of math homework in two days. I was

not the only student going, holy crap, what?

I don't even have the book yet, excuse me? Wow.

That's horrible. But on the DC, since we are

dealing with DC stuff, the DC front, I'm a bad

boy. I haven't gotten my comics this week. But

my other half's wall of toys has grown exponentially,

and my Black Knight figures are no longer on

the wall. We have a wall of DCU figures now.

All DCU, all the time. I'm surprised you guys

didn't try to go on eBay to find those C2E2 exclusive...

Oh, what is it? It was a Chicago... Not Chicago

Comic Con, but it was some entertainment expo

in Chicago had C2E2 exclusive of Black Lantern,

Hal Jordan, and White Lantern Sinestro. I'm not

even going to try to go for those. But... I did

get my new little Pride and Joy, the little super

deformed Guy Gardner figure from the Brave and

the Bold that hasn't been released yet. And it

is a stolen Chinese toy, so that kind of puts

me with my other podcast friends. So maybe if

I get the gumption and want to take him out of

his little case, I will do a YouTube review.

How do you do a YouTube review of something that

has only four parts of articulation? It's like

reviewing a Power Ranger toy. Yeah. So what about

you, good sir? Well, as we are recording this

episode, it is June 1st, 2010. The Geekcast Radio

Network is celebrating one year. We are now one

year old. Last June on the 1st, we launched the

network. Today is also the anniversary of ToonCast,

the one -year anniversary of ToonCast. Next week

on the 10th will be, or not next, is it next

week? I don't know. Whenever the hell June 10th

is. That will be the one -year anniversary for

ToyCast. I'm trying to get people together for

that. So far, I've got a potential yes from ProtoMan,

so that's always good. Let's see, what else?

Not much. After ToyCast Episode 60 comes out,

that show is going to go on hiatus for a little

while. I need to be financially responsible and

not buy toys until August. Thank God I have BBTS

pre -orders that come out in August. Which ones?

War for Cybertron Prime, two of them. War for

Cybertron Soundwave, two of them. Japanese Animated

Rodimus, two of them. I heard that one isn't

Crystal in the two -pack. The two -pack is Crystal.

I heard it wasn't. I heard that it was just the

Optimus that was Crystal. I don't know. Which

bummed me out. I don't want to buy just the Crystal

Optimus. I canceled the order on the 2 -pack,

the Crystal set, the Crystal Clear set. I'm only

getting whatever the Japanese Rodimus, the regular

figure. I'm not getting the 2 -pack because I

found out that the Optimus that they used is

not the fucking Voyager. It's the fucking Deluxe

Earth mode, and I don't want that. Do not want.

Let's see what else is going on. Not much, really.

I don't think so. I got my car. That's good.

At least you can get around now. For a second

there, I was thinking you had to stick your leg

out in the middle for a ride. I got a funny story

about that. Is this the story you were going

to tell me on Twitter? Because I was going to

ask you about that. You said something about

LOL. Something LOL about, I'll tell you about

it later. Oh, well, actually, at the DMV, I went

to get a vanity plate. Yeah? They told me that

I shouldn't go with my nickname of Lupus, L -U

-P -I -S, which is what? Because people would

misconstrue that as L -U -P -U -S, the disease.

Yeah. But I got pulled over by a police officer.

Mind you, I don't get pulled over that often.

But if people know of my father, he is an adrenaline

junkie. So that's another type of junkie. But

my mom as well is a little miss adrenaline junkie,

so I've got a lead foot on both sides. So I have

two lead feet. I got pulled over by a cop back

in January. No, January of last year. I had a

big problem with a speeding ticket, and I got

pulled over because the police officer thought

I had no inspection done on my car. And it turned

out it was the same cop. And he said, oh, I remember

you. It's really great to see you. Glad to see

you driving again. Glad I could pull you over.

And I'm thinking, you're pulling me over, but

you're not getting any money out of me this time.

But, yeah, there was something else I was supposed

to tell you, but I can't remember what it was.

I don't know. You sent me a message on Twitter.

It says something about... LOLs. Some big LOL

thing. I'll tell you about it later. I don't

even remember. I have to go through my Twitter

feed. I don't even know. I'm not even going to

try to pull it up. We can add it at the end if

we need to. Let's see. What else? Yeah, I'm actually

glad. We only have... Episode 11 will be the

big Starcrossed review and then episode 12 will

be the season 2 recap so we only have two more

episodes before we can go unlimited so I'm really

happy about that because honestly I'm tired of

just seeing this one part of the DVD set I'm

tired of the opening yeah I'm just getting tired

of it so alright well we are going to get into

some episodes And she's here tonight to sing

her smash hit, Gimme Gimme All Your Love, from

her newest album, Underbelly. Ladies and gentlemen!

We've come to this arena because it's where the

strong routinely defeat the weak. How you so

-called higher primates revel in that. Yet outside

these walls, you do everything you can to shackle

the mighty and prevent them from fulfilling their

destiny. That's all about to end. Just a small

demonstration of our might. Not convinced? There's

more. every law of nature by coddling the weak

and powerless. We say it's time for a new order,

but it can't arise until the old one departs.

Ready for your close -up, Mr. Hagen? Why'd he

do that? Of course. The Martian tricked us. You

froze the wrong one. Grodd's been messing with

our minds. Great. How do we fight it? We get

over it. That's how. This isn't exactly the show

I had in mind, but in a way it's going to be

even better. Don't forget your training. Next

time I get the right one. Never learn, do you?

Actually, I have learned a few things. Just get

her. Thanks. First up, we've got Secret Society.

In Part 1, after Jean Jones and Green Lantern

fail to capture Shade from stealing a computer

chip, the League decides that they need to train.

Shade was able to escape thanks to Giganta, who

picked him up on a Hummer. He soon finds out

that Gorilla Grodd and Giganta, who is fiercely

loyal to Grodd, had formed the Secret Society.

All members had their own motivations, and they

included Shade, who was offered a chance by Grodd

to be a master criminal, Sinestro, who was sworn

a blood oath against all Green Lanterns, Killer

Frost, who was there simply to kill, and Parasite,

who wanted revenge against Superman. In its formation,

Grodd took pains to encourage a more cohesive

organization in order to avoid infighting of

Lex Luthor's Injustice Gang. His first plan was

to rescue Clayface from Morgan's Edge's Morgan

edges mansion where Killer Frost froze Morgan.

Grodd tells Clayface that he'll help him find

a way to return Clayface to his true identity

of Matt Hagen after they defeat the Justice League.

The Secret Society defeated the Justice League

the first time they met, but Grodd decided to

spare them since killing them in a warehouse

is not classy enough. The Justice League then

starts blaming each other for their faulty performance,

questioning the League's effectiveness and purpose.

The episode ends with all members making their

way walking away in different directions. I don't

know how much of Batman the Animated Series you've

watched, and I obviously know that you know who

Clayface is, but as far as in the DC animated

continuity, Matt Hagen was an actor, and I'm

sure this is what he is in the comics as well,

but he was an actor that had some sort of accident,

and he was using this... This renews it or renew

you cream that Roland Daggett had come up with.

Well, apparently he refused to do a job for Daggett,

and they force -fed him this cream, which turned

him into Clayface. This is the first time we've

seen Clayface, I believe, since Batman the Animated

Series. I don't think he was in Batman Beyond.

I know Ink was his Batman Beyond version, but

that's a whole other story. The opening music

is very epic. I really like that. And I'm talking

about not the title card stuff. I'm talking about

when you first see that prequel part of the episode.

I really, really like that. Poor GL. Looks like

a friend of ours is back in business, Jade. I

keep forgetting. I like the line that Jaune had

when Shade's henchmen are all firing at him,

and it's just phasing through him, and he just

goes, finished. The best line for the invulnerability

trick. Yeah. I think when Shade is switching

his eyeglass, because he switches it to make

it some sort of targeting thing or something

or other, I thought that was kind of cool. It's

not just a... A fashion accessory. Yeah. It's

kind of like the tiara in the better world. It's

not just an accessory. It's a weapon, too. Did

you catch the license plate on Gigante's car?

It said Big Bone. Yeah. I did catch that. I don't

know. This statement, this next statement of

mine is probably going to create a lot of havoc.

But I'm heavier than I look. While that may be

true, in former gorilla form aside, Giganta is

sexy as hell. Um, I can't argue that. Well, you're

not really into that, so... But I'm just saying,

it's like... And the thing is about Giganta,

her voice actress is Jennifer Hale. Jennifer

Hale voiced Black Cat in the 1994 Spider -Man

series, which in that role... Jennifer Hale in

the black cat role in the Spider -Man series,

she just oozes sexuality. It just comes out in

Gigantic. Just oozes out that much that it comes

out in other games. Exactly. I like that sound

that happened when they were training. It was

just like, I'm heavier than I look. Yeah. And

then you hear, slam! Yeah. Ow. Yeah. when the

Justice League is training. Okay, Superman heat

rays Lex, Brainiac, and Darkseid, but he just

punches Mixie? Oh, come on. That's awesome, but

still. I like that, the fact that he just slams

Mixie. Yeah. Yeah, Mr. Mixie. Yeah, Mixie's piddly.

Okay, try to say that five times fast. No, it's

not going to happen. I can't even say it twice.

Zeta Robots. I don't know if you've ever seen

the Zeta Project. Yeah, I remember the spinoff.

I didn't get to watch it, but I do remember it.

Yeah, it's a spinoff of Batman Beyond. One of

Shade's greatest lines in this episode. This

just gets better and better. Now you know he

was looking up Giganta's skirt. Yep. Oh, wow.

My next line is about Batman on the training.

I actually ripped this out, and I sent it to

my phone, and I made it my ringtone for people

I don't want to talk to. Happy, call me when

it's important and not before. Diana looked absolutely

pissed when he said that, too. When he ended

up, like, destroying all those bots by himself.

It was like he took all the fun away. Yeah, Flash

was like, that was my bad guy. What the hell?

Oh, crap. I'm not the mind reader, am I? Yeah,

really? Why the hell does Morgan Edge have Clayface?

And furthermore, who the fuck is Morgan Edge

that he would have Clayface? He was the collector.

Think about it. If you're a collector of rare

oddities, what would you do to have your own

supervillain in the collection? Yeah, that's

kind of true. That's almost kind of like, what

would you do to have Peter Cullen on ice? I wouldn't.

Oh, come on. Everybody wants Peter Cullen on

ice to recycle Transformers lines for the next

200 years. No. No, I wouldn't. I know you can't

fix when someone's in cryostasis. Yeah, Mr. Freeze

proved that. Anyway. Here I was thinking Walt

Disney. Huh? The urban myth about Walt Disney

being frozen. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. I was thinking

you were talking about one of the movies. Yeah.

Batman replying to Clayface. Wish I'd thought

of that. Oh, wait. I did. I did. The superhero

cat fight? Yeah. That was awesome. It's not just

the men you stuck up. Beep. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's

right. I know he's the goddamn Batman, but that

punch from Clayface's hammer mold thing should

have hurt him, maybe even killed him. I mean,

there are so many moments in the DCAU where Batman

should be dead. Who's the goddamn Batman? Yes,

I'm going to have to track this statement. later

on in the episode, but I gotta say, so far out

of the entire series, that this had to be the

best cliffhanger ending. It was the ending where

Jaune is talking to everyone and he said, I've

already lost a family. And you're expecting him

to be like this whole rallying cry to get everyone

back together. And it's like, oh, I can live

without you. What? Think of the children! Yeah.

What was that quote? Not so easy for loners,

sociopaths, and psychos. Oh, yeah. It works for

the Justice League. Just saying. Just putting

that out there. So what do you got for this first

part here? I think I've been covering it all.

Yeah, we've been kind of going back and forth.

But we're not all equal. Superman's saying that

to the rest of the league. And I was like, well,

I could just see... Batman being there and be

like, oh, really? Kryptonite, bitch! Yeah, but

you can't... Kryptonite is... God, Transformers

fans and DC fans alike are going to hate me for

this, but Kryptonite is basically the DC's version

of the Matrix of Leadership, honestly. It is

a... It is such a plot device. A MacGuffin? Yeah.

MacGuffin plot device, whatever the hell you

want to call it. You know, but Superman has a

valid point. He is... arguably the most powerful

out of the seven in the cartoon. And he holds

that back. I mean, you know, what would happen

if Bruce Timm and company had made Superman the,

you know, basically God modded him to where he

had every single power that, you know, ten times

what it is shown in this show. He would basically

rule it all. I mean, he'd pretty much be... a

better world all over again. But they did, you

know, they figured out a way to get his powers,

you know, I mean, there are certain times in

Justice League where he goes off. But, you know,

he controls it very well. But he does have a

point. He can take the most damage out of all

of them. But at the same time, there's also other

characters that are just as strong, just as invulnerable.

Not the Flash. Not the Flash. But Wonder Woman's

right up there with him. Martian Manhunter is

just as strong and just as fast. The only advantage

that Jaune has over Superman is the whole phasing

thing to where stuff won't hit him. And the telepathy.

Okay, well, yeah, but I was thinking more of

physical taking a beating versus mental stuff.

True. I really... I don't know what it is about

this one. I think I have a note about it in the

second part, so why don't we get to that? Oh,

wait, I got one more. I thought there was a reason

I liked the shade, and I know now, because he

is intelligent enough to know that things aren't

going to work out if you get in a super group,

and he isn't dumb enough to go for the same thing

over and over again. As he pointed out, you know,

it didn't work out with Lux. He's happy to be

just a single guy. You know, I actually had to

look this up because he says in the episode,

it doesn't work. I've tried it twice. Now, I

remembered Injustice Gang. I couldn't remember.

I was like, what do you mean fucking twice? So

I had to actually go through the DCAU wiki and

find out. And he was in fury. With, uh, what's

-her -nuts, the, uh, Amazon chick and, uh, the

rest of them. Uh, right. Uh, and I'm thinking,

okay? Alrighty then. But, go ahead. So, part

two. Uh, the Flash tries to track Shade, but

walks into a trap and is captured by Sinestro.

Yay, Sinestro! Batman is captured as well, after

he tries to rescue Flash. The rest of the League

is eventually captured in their training facility,

with the exception of Green Lantern, who follows

his captured comrades to a trap. The League is

taken to a stadium in Gotham City to be executed

in front of a crowd, but are saved by John Jones,

who happens to be impersonating Clayface. He

releases his captured friends, and the League

battles the Secret Society. The League is victorious

in the end, but realize that they have some issues

that still need to be worked on. That was really

short. Yeah. Those are your thoughts, sir? Yeah.

Oh, yes. We get a final word on what happened

to Grout at the end of Brave and the Bold. Which,

I mean, we kind of knew, we kind of saw at the

end of that, but we get a final word as far as

I like how they kept the continuity of that.

Finally, after two fucking seasons, Hawkgirl

calls GL out on his asshole -ish military personality.

But she likes his asshole military personality

most of the time. But still, I don't think that,

I mean, I know that Jon Stewart has had arguments

with the leaguers in the past two seasons, but

I don't think anyone's directly called him out

on being an asshole. And, again, two weeks in

a row, I wish I had the Admiral Ackbar thing.

It's a trap! It's a trap! And once again, I know

you're going to hate this, but I can make my

hot wings joke again because when Superman does

the heat vision, he cooks hot girl's wing. Okay,

see, I figured the hot wing sex comments would

be coming on the last episode. No. Ha, I beat

you to it. Well, it's time to reheat them frozen

barbecue wings. Need some sauce with that? Well,

it's when Killer Frost freezes her wings. Oh,

yeah. I wrote a note down about the Jaune versus

Clayface fight, and Clayface turns into Jaune.

I made this little note, again, with the mixing

of genres. And I spelled Jaune's name like you

spell it. And then I just put R -A -S. Could

Parasite's draining... Honestly, if anyone, but

I really picked it up on Wonder Woman. Could

Parasite's draining of Wonder Woman be constituted

as sexual harassment? Ooh, that's a good point.

I was thinking that... Does Parasite absorb life

energy, or just... Energy in general. Yeah, it's

life energy, I think. When he showed up in Superman

the Animated Series, it was life energy. So wouldn't

he be turning her back into, like, clay? I don't

know. I'm not really sure. That's a good point.

Yeah, I don't know. One of Grodd's lines. Then

the real fun begins. Oh, jeez. See, Clay... Grodd.

So, Grodd is gotta be the stereotypical, like,

James Bond villain. When everyone else in the

group is telling him, hey, just kill them now.

Hey, just kill them now. Even Clayface is like,

remember all those, like, spy movies I used to

be in? Remember how the villains always used

to let the heroes live? This is going to end

up like one of these movies. Kill them while

we can. Yeah. Ugh. Okay, so Grodd messes with

all their minds. Now, granted, they're not under

mind control. He just brings out the feelings

that they have deep inside about each other.

Okay. And then he sets up a football stadium

battle royale. Oh, my God. Really? That's the

best you can fucking do? He's got, like, a camera

following them around all the time, right? How

is it it isn't until, like, this episode that

they finally notice it there? Well, I don't think

it's been... It was in the first part. Yeah.

And Superman didn't, like, notice, oh, hey, there's

this little whirring electronic sound coming

somewhere. Yeah, that's true. The first one to

notice it was GL when he captured one of them.

And my last note... Finger flickin' good. And

the field goal... God, that was awesome. That

was frickin' awesome. That was flickin' awesome.

And the field goal is good. The Justice League

win. It was just like... Oh, crap. And he didn't

even need to punch him. It was just a flick.

And see, that goes back to my argument about

earlier with Superman. You know, he has all this

power. And they kind of, even though, all right,

season two they pretty much beefed him up and

he's not the wimp that he was in season one as

far as taking the first shot. But, you know,

he has all this power and you have to figure

out a way to have him fit in with the rest of

the other six leaguers because technically Superman

could take all these guys on himself. Oh, well.

I don't know. I don't think he could take on

Diana. No. And the only reason I say that is

because her powers are based off magic. No, I'm

not talking about... I'm talking about the other...

I'm talking about the villains. I'm not talking

about the other leaguers. Because Sinestro's

would be technology. Giganto, I'm assuming, is

technology as well. What about Shade? Shade's...

Is that technology? It's not really magic. I

mean, I guess you could consider it magic, but

all he does is put people in a dark dimension

or a dark shroud. I mean, it's kind of like,

you know, it's kind of like throwing a red cape

over a fucking black bull. I mean, seriously.

It's like, charge, El Toro. I don't know. I honestly

don't know. What do you have for this one? Oh,

let's see. If I turn the page right. I was looking

at the notes for Hereafter for some reason. The

mental power is actually coming from the Flash.

That was nice. You're no bat. You're no Batman.

When they were talking about the Flash. We actually

see the Flash being effective for once, even

on his own. The fact that we see the Flash, or

pseudo -Flash, saying, yo. Oh, yeah. You played

your part up too much, yo. Too much. I put down

mace to the face for Killer Frost. Oh, yeah,

I missed that. Did nobody watch Men in Black?

No. You always got to look out for that little

girl. Yeah. It's nice to see some villains that

are actually smart saying not to overestimate

or underestimate the opposition. We've got this

girl that's... I think her name was Shana. I

don't know if it was supposed to be a spin -off

of Shania Twain and Britney Spears. But if you

notice, she doesn't actually sing. Very much

like the people that they're... That she's supposed

to emulate. Yeah, she was supposed to emulate

Britney Spears, I think, really more than Shania

Twain. But, I don't know. It was really freaky

to see The Flash start to suffocate Killer Frost

by sucking all the oxygen out. I was kind of

like, wow, he would really do that? The Flash?

Really? Wow. The fact that Superman's ostracized

at the end for everything that he said. Yeah.

And how the team is looking at it. That's pretty

much all I got. Yeah. Overall, out of the ones

we're going to review today, I can firmly say

this is my least favorite. It's just... Where

was that note? Where the hell... I could have...

Oh, no, it's in here after. Never mind. Never

mind. But, yeah, this one is all right. It wasn't

the best. It was nice to see Powers Booth back

as Grodd. And he'll come back again once we go

Unlimited. So, but, yeah. All right, I guess

we are going to move on. Previously on Justice

League. Oh, shit! Oh! Next up, we have Hereafter.

Part 1, a group of supervillains are gathered

around... plotting to take their revenge on Superman.

They arrange an ambush for the Man of Steel by

attacking Metropolis. They battle the rest of

the Justice League, but when Superman arrives,

Toy Man reveals his secret weapon, a giant toy

robot equipped with a disintegrator beam. Toy

Man fires several times and sections of the city

disappear without a trace. Superman evades the

beams, but Toy Man takes aim at Batman and Wonder

Woman. Superman throws himself in front of the

in front of them and takes the blast, disappearing

without a trace. Shocked, the League and the

world must accept what seems the impossible.

Superman is dead. The only person who refuses

to believe it is Batman. He analyzes evidence

from the battle, insisting that it is impossible

for objects to disappear without a trace, citing

the law of conservation of mass. He coldly snubs

the invitations of Alfred and the other leaguers

to attend Superman's funeral in Metropolis. At

Superman's funeral, the attendants include the

League, minus Batman, the staff of the Daily

Planet, Jonathan and Martha Kent, which, yeah,

we'll get to that in a minute, several world

leaders, superheroes, and to Lois Lane's outrage,

Lex Luthor, who expressed that he too would miss

his greatest enemy. Jean Jones pronounces a eulogy.

and the League ceremonially enters a coffin in

a monument. Holding awake for Superman in the

Watchtower, the League swaps stories about him,

and then John tentatively proposes adding a new

member. Suddenly... Dun -dun -dun! Lobo crashes

through the window! Oh boy, I can tell you don't

like Lobo. Announcing that he is there to take

Superman's place. When the League orders him

out, he decides to quote -unquote audition by

tearing the Watchtower apart and attacking them.

They hold him off and then hear that dozens of

supervillains are running amok in Metropolis,

celebrating Superman's death in their own fashion.

The League reluctantly brings Lobo along as they

go to fight. Investigating another of his theories,

Batman follows a trail to Superman's memorial.

Finding nothing, he wonders if he's wrong, and

Superman really is dead. Alone, he addresses

the monument, telling Clark that despite their

differences, he has always respected him, and

that he will miss him, but his tribute is interrupted

by a nearby explosion. Batman takes off to combat

the attacking supervillains. The League attacks

with difficulties subduing the... Oh. The rogue

villains, Lobo makes himself useful in his own

fashion, beating Calibac into submission and

beyond, with a car and causing plenty of destruction

in the process. To a downcast league, he exalts,

When you got Lobo on your team, who needs Superman?

The scene dissolves to a barren landscape where

Superman is seen unconscious under some rubble

and a red sun. Dun, dun, dun. Let's see. Really?

A cult? This is just another secret injustice

gang society. That's all it is. But it's clandestine

now. I don't care. And a lot of the voice actors,

like Weser... Weather Wizard and Livewire's voices

have changed since Superman the Animated Series.

Corey Burton actually provides the voices of

Weather Wizard, Metallo, and Toyman. I'm not

sure who replaced Livewire's voice. The guy who

originally voiced Parasite apparently passed

away, so obviously they would have to get that

one recast. I like the original voices for Livewire,

Weather Wizard, Metallo, and... This Toy Man's

not so bad. I can kind of get by with him. Because

Toy Man was only in, like, one or two Superman

the Animated Series episodes, I think. So, yeah,

whatever. Stalling Cala back. You couldn't have

taken Batman either. That was nice. Yeah. Superman

go bye -bye! No! I don't know if this is... I

know it's because Batman is grieving or whatever

he's trying. Maybe he's not grieving. Maybe he's

just trying to figure something out. But when

he's sitting in the cave, he is rubbing the tattered

piece of Superman's cape. Like, you know how

you take a piece of material in your hand and

you just start rubbing it with your thumb and

your index finger? There was something physical

that was still there that was connected to Clark.

Oh, okay. Like, he didn't want to let it go.

Okay. In case he was wrong. Yeah. Same old bats.

I've got work to do. Yep. Aw, funeral. Wait,

why are the... Why the hell are the kents there?

Doesn't that give away the whole secret identity

thing? How many times did... Superman go and

save them. Yeah. But yeah, but I'm saying, like...

He's a friend of the family. Yeah, exactly. Well,

this episode happens before... I almost was going

to argue, well, Jean has met them, but he doesn't

meet them until Comfort and Joy, which happens

after this. So I'm thinking, why the hell are

the Kents there? And this is a funeral for Superman,

Kal -El of Krypton. This is not a funeral for

Clark Kent. I don't know. I think they were trying

to go for the whole Death of Superman comic arc.

Yeah, they probably were, but still. Lobo with

a bunch of exclamation points. All right, why

don't you like Lobo? I just don't like him. He

rubs me the wrong way, like a really bad Wolverine

knockoff. But that and I just don't approve of

him having that name. But he's awesome. I will

give props for him being awesome in Young Justice,

but that's also because he was pre -teen. Literally.

Super deformed, shrunk, five -year -old Lobo.

Yeah, but in the DCAU, he's awesome, because

when he first shows up in Superman the Animated

Series, he's awesome then, and when he shows

up here, he's even more awesome, because thank

God they kept the same voice actor. It's Brad

Garrett voicing Lobo. I don't know. There's just

something about him that just makes you go, ugh.

Hey, wait. When Superman was punching Darkseid

in Twilight, they tried to stop him so the watchtower

wouldn't lose orbit. But Wonder Woman can throw

Lobo around and have him crashing into stuff?

That makes no sense. Because she's a girl. Fucking

females. Alright. Aw, Batman gets slightly emotional,

and then an explosion happens. And then he shuts

it off like a light switch. Yep, yep. Why did

I write this down? Fuck you, Calaback. I have

no idea why I wrote that down. Why is he even

there? Of all people, why is he there? Why is

he helping his father rebuild? Well, I don't

know why he isn't doing that, but... I think

it's because maybe they couldn't, well, Bruce

Timm had said in the commentary for Twilight,

Twilight was, this was supposed to be the end

of Darkseid, as far as Twilight. Darkseid was

not coming back. So I think maybe putting Kalibak

in here kind of fulfills the whole apocalypse

thing with Superman having, you know, feuds with

them. So I think maybe that's why he's there.

I wonder. Just how many bat wings has he gone

through? Well, you know they're disposable. You

can just get them rebuilt. Mace to the head.

We'll see a lot of that. You need to be quiet

now. Car crunching action. It's like she's training

him. Exactly. She could be a dominatrix in a

former life if she wanted to. Former life? Well,

future life. Fine. No, I mean current life. We

have seen her in action. Say it, say it. Uncle.

And as I said before in the Secret Society part

one, I would have to retract that statement.

Okay, I was wrong about Secret Society. This

has been the best cliffhanger ending so far in

the entire series. Is he dead? Is he alive? So

what do you got for this one? Let's see. Do I

look like I'm playing games? Yeah. Toy Man is

absolutely freaky. I will say that. Yeah, just

creepy little doll creatures. And this coming

from a toy collector. Yeah, the GLs dress greens

when we first see them put it on. I really was

reminded of Parallax for some reason. I don't

know why. Let's see. We see another moment where

the Flash is the heart of the team and stops

everyone from crossing that line. Well, he stops

Wonder Woman from crossing. He stops Wonder Woman

from punching a hole through his head. Through

Toyment, yeah. We see Kyle. Yay! Now, people,

the guys over at World's Funnest Podcast, specifically

Michael David Sims, he posted an image on their

forums about this when they reviewed it. He argued

that that could possibly be Hal, and I said,

there's no way. There's no way in the DCAU that

it's Hal because of the fact that Hal doesn't

show up until the time shift in Once and Future

Thing Part 2. True. Doesn't Kyle show up eventually?

Yes. And have darker hair? He might have a little

bit of darker hair, but I'm not really sure.

I know he does show up. I think it's in The Return.

Yeah, when it seemed like Amazo blew up Oa. Yeah,

Kyle does show up. We see lots of cameos. The

Atlantean Royals, Mr. and Mrs. Fate, or Dr. Fate,

rather. Dr. Black's Fate. The black armbands

right out of the Funeral for a Friend comic story

arc. The comments about the membership drive.

Yeah. We see the emotional and heartfelt Batman

suddenly becomes cynical suddenly at the explosion.

This looks like a job for Superman! Oh, wait,

he's dead. That's what it was. That's why I said,

fuck you, Calibac. I think one of the best parts

was definitely Flash on Lobo's bike. I'm okay!

I'm okay! Crash! Really! I'm fine! Crash! Yeah,

that's what I got for this one. Alright, we are

going to move on to part two here. Superman regains

consciousness and sees the barren landscape except

for himself and sections of the metropolis city

that were hit by Toy Man's disintegrator beam.

Wherever he is, the beam... transported him there

instead of destroying him. He sees that the sun

is red and his powers aren't working. He picks

up a signal on his communicator and decides to

move it closer to it, salvaging what food and

supplies he can from the cars and the street

fragments, and then siphons gas into one of them

and drives off. Making camp one night, he is

menaced by a pack of wolf -like creatures. He

attempts to scare them off without effect and

then manages to drive them away with fire. Realizing

he is powerless, he uses tools from the car to

fashion an iron bar into a crude but effective

sword. Before too long, his car is out of gas

and he is forced to walk. Attacked that night

by the creatures again, he kills their leader

and subjugates the rest of the pack by harnessing

them as a sled dogs for a new improvised vehicle.

Nothing like that, you know, renewable power

source. After a few more days, he reaches the

ruins of a city and finds the source of the signal,

the Watchtower, crashed to the ground. Entering,

he tries to access its computer. The computer

tells him that the rest of the League's whereabouts

is unknown, and then shuts down due to low power.

Superman bangs his fist down in frustration and

asks aloud, What happened to everybody? A voice

answers, They died, Superman, thousands of years

ago. A figure appears from the shadows. Vandal

Savage. Savage seems uncharacteristically glad

to see Superman, and he explains why. The planet

that they are on is Earth, 30 ,000 years in the

future. And the entire human race, except Savage,

and the cockroaches are dead. Only a few months

after Superman disappeared, Savage developed

a weapon that allowed him to control the force

of gravity. Without Superman, Savage killed the

rest of the Justice League, stating that Jon

Stewart was the most challenging, and proclaimed

himself ruler of the world, but his newfound

powers disrupted the balance of the solar system.

Killing the rest of the human race, Superman

is initially enraged, but Savage says he reformed

after a millennia of loneliness and isolation.

He's come to realize that his obsession with

power was meaningless. With plenty of time on

his hands, Savage has built himself a luxurious

mansion in the ruins of Metropolis with a large

garden and plenty of technological amenities.

He impasses time by reading, working on various

inventions, or on hobbies such as restoring other

parts of the city. One of them included the spaceship

that he intended to use to explore the universe,

but he chose to stay, feeling he needed to be

punished. He treats Superman to a home -cooked

meal and invites him to stay. Wandering around

the mansion one night, Superman finds a time

machine, the exact same time machine we saw in

Savage Time. Well, the same design. He asks Savage

why he did not finish it. Savage says there would

be no point. As the machine would not allow him

to travel back to any time where he was already

alive. Superman points out that he can since

he's already dead. And can stop Savage's destruction

of the world. He and Savage work together to

complete the machine but find that they can't

keep the... portal open without a much larger

power source. Savage knows of only one, a zero

-point energy generator that he built but was

stolen some years ago by a colony of giant cockroaches.

He can build another one, but it will take 50

years. He and Superman sneak into the colony

to get it back. The battle with the roaches,

Superman apparently falls to his death into the

pit containing the generator. But instead, the

device, which as Savage has explained, is like

a miniature son, instantly restores his superpowers

and is able to get himself and Savage away safely.

Savage opens the portal, giving Superman the

information he needs to thwart his younger self.

Before going, Superman asks what will happen

to Savage if he succeeds. Savage tells him not

to worry, do what you do best, what you were

born to do, save the world. The two men shake

hands, and Superman departs. Back in the present,

while Lobo is crowing over Calabac, Deadshot

takes aim at Batman. With a missile, Superman's

hand appears and catches it. In wonder, the league

crowds around him, except for Batman. Superman

tells Lobo he is fired, and the bounty hunter

angrily jets away on his bike. Superman says

he'll explain what happened to him, but first

they have a job to do. The League flies into

action with himself at its head. In the future,

Savage is sitting alone among the ruins of Metropolis.

He sees a ghostly figure of a child run by, then

more people slowly. The ruin disappears, and

a living city replaces it. Filled with people,

Savage sees his own body slowly fade from existence

and says, Thank you, my friend. Uh, thoughts?

Let's see, um, Red sun, uh -oh. We did see the

light speed bar, which had flash emblazoned on

it. Yep. The super beard. Let's see. Yeah, Clark

fighting off the wolf -like creatures. Throwing

fire everywhere, and I'm going, great, way to

go. You're going to start a forest fire. There

you go, Clark. There you go, Boy Scout. You know

better than that. The Watchtower has the voice

of Hot Girl. Yep. And when they pull up the list

of members, you see Aquaman. So we see who the

other person was that was going to be replacing

him. Yep. Then, oh my god, Vandal Savage. And

you can't send him back because it means a giant

time paradox. You're insane. True, but that doesn't

mean I'm not good company. The fact that the

roaches look like giant rhinoceros beetles. And

the fact that they have to go save Ray Palmer,

the atom. Yep. And I never would have thought

that Vandal Savage would be seeking redemption.

Yeah. Even if he is technically by DC Comics

standards, Kane. Yeah. So, yeah, that's what

I got. All right. Yay, Superman is alive. And,

you know, you mentioned as far as Clark surviving,

I made a note of as far as it really goes to

show you how much Kal -El has learned from his

time on Earth. Granted, he's been there a while,

but, I mean... It's not often we see Superman

do survival of the fittest type things. I mean,

you know, it's not like, you know, Soundwave's

superior, Constructicon's inferior. Hey, he looks

like Iron Man when forging the sword. It's the

beard. No, it's the whole smashing the thing

with a hammer thing. So he looks like a smithy?

No. Should have taken the compact. Yep. But Superman

doesn't kill in reply to killing the dog. Oh,

right. Say, you want to come over to my house?

Like you've got something better to do. You already

mentioned the time machine. Yeah, but I'm already

dead. I like how in the flash forward in time

they flash to the Lobo -Kalabak fight where in

the present it's like death of Superman happened

instead of sending him back before it happened.

But then again, you couldn't do that because

there would be two of them in the same timeline.

Yeah. Time travel really hurts my head. And then

the last one I had was the thank you, my friend.

Because I thought that was a really nice line

from Savage. And he'll never see it again. Well,

I'll never see him again. Is this the last time

we see Randall Savage? Vandal? Yes, this is the

last time we see Randall Savage. Okay. Hey, I

wonder what would have happened if Randy Savage

voiced Vandal Savage's. The universe would implode.

Yeah, that's funny. I really like this. I think

this is one of the better two -parters of Season

2. You had mentioned two weeks ago about how

we were going to start getting into some better

stories, and this is really where it kicks off

right here. Oh, definitely. It's just great storytelling.

The Kents being at the funeral aside, just wow.

It was good. Very, very good. Anything else to

say about this one? Yeah, I don't quite understand

how exactly he magically appeared with that white

shirt. And after skinning that poor animal, he

suddenly has the ability to tame the rest of

them and treat them as subservient dogs. Maybe

that's just me being like, what the fuck? It's

not that quick to tame something, really. Well,

he did kill their leader, and you know what the

old saying is about things in packs, if you take

the leader out, the rest of them will fall. I

understand the pack dynamics, but it's just kind

of like, really? It's going to take a lot longer

than that to totally train something. And then,

what exactly was he feeding them? Was he feeding

them, like, the carcass of their fallen leader?

I think so. I think so. Wow. Okay. It looks like

some sort of chicken or something, but I honestly

think it was the dog meat. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind

of sick when you think about it. But then again,

you know, he is on a planet with a red sun, and

you've got to do what you've got to do. Couldn't

be any worse compared to what Wonder Woman eats

in Starcross, but we'll get to that when we get

to Starcross. Is that it? That's it. All right,

we're going to move on. Was that great or what?

Let's give a big hand to the Justice League for

foiling my bomb plot. Come on! You know, our

show is picked up by all the news channels. And

the last 15 minutes or so has been running on

the broadcast networks. According to my projections,

we've got somewhere between 60 and 70 million

people watching right now. And that was the point

all along. This whole thing was a stunt to get

as many of you watching as possible. And it worked!

My royal flush gang provided the conflict. The

Justice League brought the star power. And I

brought the shocking surprise ending. Everyone

watching the show right now is witness to my

greatest joke ever. In just over five minutes,

you'll all be hopelessly, incurably insane. Can't

stop looking, can you? I wish I could say it's

my animal magnetism, but it's really my little

ace in the hole. Different, they called her.

Some even said she was a monster. Is this a monster?

I ask you. Purely rhetorically, of course. Condemned

for something she could barely comprehend. Our

little A soon found herself a guest of the government.

But even they were afraid of her strange power.

Fortunately for them... Their nasty little headband

made her as harmless as a droned kitten. My poor,

poor Acey. All your life, people have been recoiling

in fear from you. Oh, can I relate. Maybe that's

why I'm the only one who's never been scared

of you. You see, Ace can send out thought waves

that alter perception. But enough with the jargon.

She can make you crazy just by looking at you.

In person or on TV. Even as I speak... Millions

of you slack -jawed couch potatoes are losing

your grip on reality, which in my opinion is

highly overrated anyway. But you can't look away,

even though you know something's terribly wrong.

And the best part? I'm immune to all this, because

I'm already crazy. Turn it up, baby. We need

to fight. To fight. Yeah, but I can't. It's only

a matter of time now. A few more minutes and

millions of people are going to go... And it's

all because of you. The best sidekick a homicidal

maniac ever had. Up next is Wild Cards. And we

all know what kind of story this is going to

be just from the title. In part one... The Joker

buys airtime on a large number of television

channels and broadcasts his own reality television

special from Las Vegas. Oh, serious eye roll.

He has planted a time bomb somewhere on the strip,

and only the Justice League can disarm it, or

else he'll detonate it immediately. The bomb

is set to go off in just under 23 minutes. Joker's

also planted a large number of cameras all over

the city, allowing him and the viewers to keep

track of the League's every move. As people flee

the city in panic, save for one old woman who

spends the entire ordeal playing slots, unaware

of her surroundings. That's so awesome. That's

so Vegas. Yeah. The League, Superman, Batman,

Hot Girl, Green Lantern, and Flash. Where's Wonder

Woman? And Jean? She's hanging out with her mom,

getting some bonding time in, because her mom

did show up in the last episode. And Jean is

trying to do research on Christmas. Yeah, but

he can't do research on Christmas because that

didn't happen yet. Not according to the DVDs.

Yes, I know. Not according to the DVDs are wrong.

Hey, you wanted blue poles? I gave you blue poles.

And Flash arrived on Vegas. In Vegas. I said

on Vegas like it's a fucking planet. Great. Well,

it is Vegas. Yeah, it is. What stays in the Vegas,

what's said in the Vegas stays in the Vegas.

Superman quickly locates the bomb with his X

-ray vision, and the League is attacked by Joker's

own squad of super -powered henchmen, the Royal

Flush Gang. Now, in DCU timeline, in the timeline

of the cartoon, not when the shows were aired,

but the actual... Because Justice League happens

before Batman Beyond, obviously. But in the timeline,

this is the first time we see a Royal Flush Gang.

We would have originally seen them in Batman

Beyond as one of the recurring villains in that.

As they battle the League, Joker explains their

origin, a group of five kids born with superpowers.

They were imprisoned by the government as teenagers

to be trained as human weapons until Joker freed

them. As the rest of the league fights, Batman

defuses the bomb only to find it's fake. Superman

scans the script and finds 25 bombs with just

under 14 minutes left. The league splits up and

disarms them. Harassed by the gang, Batman impressively

manages to talk Flash through disarming a bomb

even while battling one of them, Jack. At one

casino, Green Lantern and Hot Girl are arguing

over defusing a bomb. The Joker mocks the romantic

tension between them and decides just for fun

to press his detonator. Hearing a beep, Lantern

ejects Hot Girl from the building just as the

bomb explodes. Dun -dun -dun! Um... I don't have

that many notes for this one, so I'm just going

to get these out of the way here. Um... The Joker!

Yay! This will actually be the last time we see

the Joker. Um... as far as the actual DCAU timeline

goes. We would have seen him again in Batman

Beyond Return of the Joker, but again, that happens

in the future. I made a note that I really have

no notes for this one. I've just been watching

it for fun, because it is a very fun episode.

Even though I will say it until I'm blue in the

face, Teen Titans is not in continuity. This

episode is a subtle crossover with Teen Titans.

as the members of the Royal Flush Gang are all

voiced by actors from that series, with similarities

to their Titans characters. Ten was played by

Kari Payton. On Teen Titans, he is Cyborg, built

physique and super strength. Jack, who is a trade

-off of Beast Boy, voiced by Greg Sipes, who

has shapeshifting. Queen is a takeoff of Raven,

who is voiced by Tara Strong. Hey, we interviewed

her. I met her. She likes my name. Lupus Convoy?

No, my real name is Nax. Oh, okay. Michael Astonix.

Okay. King, who is played by Scott Menville,

who is also Robin in Teen Titans. And Ace, Hayden

Walsh, who plays Starfire in Teen Titans. So

that's kind of cool, but still, not in continuity.

And then my other notes were, not on my show.

And I almost said Jean. It's Jean when the explosion

happens. Aw, it's so cute. Yeah. I take the same

feeling that Joker had. Not on my show. Beep.

What do you got for this one? Let's see. I have

got Joker, heart. That caught my attention. And

this is nothing more than the first showing of

reality TV. This beats out... Oh, that's real

life. The animated show that they had on Cartoon

Network. Oh, yeah. Total Drama Island and Total

Drama Action. Yeah. No, not what I was thinking.

Comedy Central, the adult -themed animated reality

TV show. Oh, I have no idea. Oh, Drawn Together.

Oh, Drawn Together. Okay. Which said that they

were the first animated reality TV. Well, you

know, the other thing is, it's funny you mentioned

Drawn Together. Tara Strong actually does work

on, or she did work on Drawn Together. Really?

Yeah. Wow. What else do we have? So, after that

I have Harley, Big Heart, with two exclamation

points, and Puddin'. If there's one villain that

belongs in Vegas, it's most definitely Joker.

Yeah. And I wrote down the Royal Flish Gang,

because I can't write and see things at the same

time. And then Joker's comment about meddling

with the kids. Yeah, Scooby -Doo. Is this an

early Project Cadmus? Oh, I didn't catch that.

Yes, actually, it does go back to that, because

it was Project Cadmus who he stole them from.

And if you look at the guy that's in charge of

that project, the general, It is the same model

that General Eiling will have come Justice League.

Justice League Unlimited. Awesome. But no, the

meddling kids thing is a joke about Scooby -Doo.

Yep. John saves Hawkgirl. Yay! With the big honking

mace. And that's all I have for part one. Yeah.

This again was, and I think what really, really

got me going on this was that clock. I love that

clock. That was so cool. What, you expected something

round from me? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Actually,

I was expecting the clock king to show up, but

anyway. Okay, well, that was lost on deaf ears.

All right. And in part two, frantic hot girl

searches the wreckage of the casino for Lantern,

she finds him gravely injured, she tries to revive

him with CPR, and then finally succeeds with

an impromptu electroshock from her mace. I have

so much to comment on that, but I'll wait. Yeah,

just hold your comments to the end. I guess a

mace counts as a defibrillator, but anyway. Abandoning

the bomb hunt, she flies Lantern to get medical

help, defying Batman's orders to stay in the

battlefield. Still fighting Jack, Batman manages

to down a helicopter carrying Harley Quinn. Batman

plays on her jealousy by insinuating Joker's

seeming affection for Ace, the last member of

the gang. By now, there is only one bomb left,

with only a few minutes remaining. Superman holds

off Ten and King, while Flash tries to disarm

it, but Joker distracts him. With exactly one

second left, Flash just grabs the bomb and disappears,

incredibly managing to run out of the city and

drop it and get away as it is exploding. The

Joker applauds the League's success, but then

reveals the horrific true nature of his plan.

Ace has a basilisk gaze, The power to drive people

insane just by looking at them, either in person

or on TV. The whole bomb plot was just a ploy

to drive up the viewership of the program to

the maximum. By Joker's estimate, 60 or 70 million

people are now watching. And now they can't look

away as Ace has them mesmerized. In a few minutes,

their minds will all be destroyed. A furious

Harley arrives at the studio, inadvertently leading

Batman to Joker's hideout. Batman confronts Joker,

but is... Disabled by Ace, Joker attacks him

literally, kicking him while he's down. Batman

tries to defend himself as they struggle. Batman

plucks something out of Joker's pocket, the mind

control headband that Ace's government and handlers

use to pacify her. Seeing it, Ace is enraged

and turns her power on Joker, driving him into

a catatonic state. Ace walks out. Batman is too

weak to follow her. Up in the Watchtower, Hot

Girl reports to Batman that Lantern is out of

danger. She tries to apologize for disobeying

him, but Batman cuts her off, telling her she

did the right thing. Hot Girl goes to check on

Lantern, who wakes up and confronts her, saying

it's time for them to admit their feelings for

each other. She demurs, but can't deny the way

she feels. For the first time, she removes her

headdress, revealing her face, and they kiss.

And then we cut to a scene at the very end, before

the credits roll. where the little old lady is

getting a payoff from the slot machine, and she

says, well, it's about time. And that's a jab

at the Jon and Shiera relationship. All right.

What do you got? Okay. The medical drama that

Joker brings up. Hawkgirl can't do shit for CPR.

She's... trying to push on his chest, it's not

working. Her hands aren't even in the right place.

I mean, did she even try to give the, you know,

the French kiss therapy? I mean, mouth -to -mouth?

And then her mace has a defibrillator built in?

Really? Jesus, is there something this mace can't

do? Well, alright, but I could argue that she

can control the voltage on it, though. Okay.

I'll go with that. But... What the hell? I know

it's still a what the hell moment, because it's

like, really? She can do that? Is anatomy really

that different between thanagarians and humans?

Really? Bitch, learn your CPR. I wonder if Elastic

Man ever really has to worry about rotor blades

like Jack does. Oh, yeah. Hmm. I don't know.

The fact that they went to couples counseling.

That tickles me so much. So Ace is a Malkavian

from Vampire, the role -playing game. She can

just put her insanity into others just by looking

at them. The fact that Joker says that he's immune

because he's already crazy. But he really isn't.

Which, I mean, maybe that would make Batman immune

as well, because that boy's got issues. But we

get to see... Alright, but before you go on,

but the thing is though, with the Batman versus

Joker, as far as Joker not being... Joker is

truly, he is insane. He is a psychotic killer.

I mean, he even says, you know, the best... sidekick

a homicidal maniac could have. And then, of course,

the next thing we know, Harley's breaking down

the door. But the thing with Batman, you know,

being susceptible to it is Batman, while he does

have his issues and he has a lot of them, he's

not a homicidal, psychotic, maniac killer. He's

not. Not a killer, but... Well... Batman's more

suicidal than homicidal. I mean, if you think

about it, seriously, Bruce Wayne, he is suicidal.

He goes out every night fighting crime. He gets

punched in the face by Clayface with a metal

jackhammer or whatever the hell it was, and he

just groans. He doesn't die. I mean, he's suicidal.

But the Joker, he is so far gone. They can't

even diagnose what exactly it is he has. Yeah.

And he actually enjoys having people try to figure

out what it is, but he puts out different symptoms

all the time, so nobody has the same. Yeah. Anyway.

What else do we have? Bat barf. Damn it, you

took my note. But yeah, he almost pukes. I thought

he did, they just didn't show it. Well, he makes

the look like he's going to, but I didn't see

any, yeah. Oh, I thought he made the retching

sounds. He does, but we don't, I mean, we see

him making the sounds, and I saw his, like, cheeks

poof out like he was going to, but I never saw

anything come out of his mouth. Okay. Bats getting

clocked by Harley. And then the Joker saying,

wow. Even I didn't see that one coming. I like

the note that Joker makes, which I've ripped

out and I will be using in any future podcast

episodes of any of our shows. He makes some weird

noise like, eww, technical difficulties. Well,

let's move on. Yeah, I think that's all I've

got. I have, well, you already took my puking

two -parter story is awesome. It is. Ruh -roh

-roker. Nothing like a woman scorned. You'll

always come back to me. That's true. And then

bitch slap. Yep. Because you led Batman right

to my doorstep. Yeah, I was about that to be

shown. Really? Wow. Um. Yeah. Um. I'm trying

to think. There was something I was going to

bring up. You've seen Batman Beyond Return of

the Joker, haven't you? I have not. Really? Really.

What the hell is wrong with you? I ran out of

free rentals that week, actually. I'm not joking.

Every time I wanted to rent it when I worked

at Blockbuster, I would run out of rentals. Wow.

Yep. Okay, then. Well, I'll save that for later

then. Yeah, that's pretty much all I got for

this one. It's a very awesome two -parter. I

don't really have that many issues with it. I

really don't have any issues with it, seeing

as how I didn't take a whole hell of a lot of

That's pretty much it. So, I think we are going

to move on. Oh, wait, you forgot something. Wait,

what? Hot wing sucks. No, they don't actually

show it. Nope, but it was... It's implied, but

they don't show it. Of course, you know, come

next episode, there'll be some sort of hot wing

threesome or foursome or two -twosome or one

-onesome or something like that. I don't know.

All right, so we'll be back in a minute. You

fly through space all the time but sliding down

a snowy hill makes you shriek like a child? Each

winter, my grandmother would take me sledding

in the park. It was the best part of Christmas.

With all respect to your grandmother, I don't

see what's so special about the snow. That's

clever. How about this? It's a snow angel. See

my wings? Right. Hey! What was that for? It's

supposed to be fun. Okay. Let's have fun. Whoa!

Lady, you are asking for it. Bring it on, snowman!

Feeling more festive? I don't know. I still don't

get this whole obsession with the holidays. And

finally up today is Comfort and Joy. Before I

get into this one, as we've said before, on the

DVD set, on the Complete Series set, and the

Season 2 Individual Season set, this does come

before Wild Cards, but if you look at the continuity

between Wild Cards and this, where in Wild Cards,

John and Chayera are just... starting their relationship,

where in this it seems like they've been together

for, say, a month or so. So, yeah, we are reviewing

this last today. And, again, it also goes to

they needed a breather, some sort of breather

from Wild Cards to Starcrossed, and this kind

of fits the bill. So the Justice League works

together to assemble a machine that will prevent

two planets from colliding. Their mission is

a success, and the League looks forward to the

Christmas season. except perhaps Jean Jones and

Hawkgirl, who are unfamiliar with Earth's holidays.

Now, this is broken up into, like, three different

stories and then a conclusion, so it makes it

a lot easier. Green Lantern and Hawkgirl. Green

Lantern, noticing the beauty of the snow -covered

planet, decides to stay behind. He tries to show

Hawkgirl the fun of playing in the snow, and

they get into a furious snowball fight. She responds

by showing him her idea of a celebration, taking

him to a rough bar on outlying Alien Moon. They

raise a glass together, and then Hot Girl touches

off a massive bar fight. She doesn't just touch

it off. She hits some giant guy with her mace

on his hand, and then she passes the mace to

John. Here's the living girlfriend. Exactly.

The Flash. Flash makes his annual visit to the

Central City Orphanage. To ask the kids what

they want for Christmas. They eagerly show him

a commercial for a toy, DJ Rub -A -Ducky. Oh,

God. No. Tell me that isn't Howard the Duck.

It almost could be. But Flash finds all the stores

sold out. He runs directly to Japan and manages

to get the last one from the factory. Returning

to Central City, he is distracted by the Ultra

Humanite, which is the first time we've seen

the Humanite since... Yeah, sends Injustice Gang

on a destructive rampage through the modern art

museum. In the ensuing fight, the toy is destroyed

and Flash, devastated, touched... Oh, Flash is

devastated. Touched, Humanite calls a truce and

agrees to fix the toy and surrender himself.

He accompanies Flash to the orphanage. Flash

is surprised to find Humanite has modified the

toy, which previously spoke rap lyrics and made

flauntulent noises, to give a musically accompanied

narration of the Nutcracker Ballet. I like Flash's

introduction. He's like, Hey, kids, Santa Flash

is back, and here's my assistant, Freaky the

Snowman. I'm going to think of that every time

I see him from now on. Yep. And Superman and

John's storyline goes as this. Clark Kent insists

that John accompany him home for the holidays.

His parents, Jonathan and Martha Kent, welcome

John, but he still feels slightly uncomfortable.

He takes a walk on the streets of Smallville

on Christmas Eve, impressed by the cheerful friendliness

of the passersby. Telepathically hearing a little

girl question the existence of Santa Claus, John

flies up and lands on a roof, reaching down in

the chimney to eat the cookies she has left out.

His final stop is a church where he and inside

people are singing carols. And the conclusion

is Humanite is returned to jail where Flash thanks

him and gives him an aluminum Christmas tree,

which Humanite finds surprisingly touching. In

the bar where John is passed out after the fight,

Hot Girl kisses him on the cheek and wishes him

a Merry Christmas. And Clark awakes on Christmas

Day and listens with his parents as John, who

has reverted to his... normal Martian form, sings

a hauntingly beautiful song in his native language.

I think this is the first time we've heard that.

An actual Martian song? Yeah, well, in the native

language. Yeah. Between Secret Society and here,

the teamwork thing seems to be improving. The

fact that they're all separated? Or the fact

that they could save... Two planets from crashing

into one another. Yeah, the beginning thing.

Well, the fact they can save two planets from

crashing into each other. I'll hitch a ride with

GL. I bet you will ride that lantern. You can

do it all night long. Oh, my. Oh, Jean has no

holiday plans. DJ Rub -A -Ducky. Oh, Christ,

kill me now. It could be worse. Yeah. We're no

strangers. Go ahead. It could be... Oh, my God.

It could be Hannah Montana. It would have been

an improvement, unfortunately. We're no strangers

to aliens in this house. Yep. Where's Kara? Skiing

with Barbara. I love the continuity. No, I'm

assuming that's Barbara... Gordon. She didn't

become Oracle in the animated series, did she?

No. Oh, okay. I was like, wow, well, she's skiing.

She must not have legs. Damn, dude. That's almost

as bad as my hot wings jokes. Seriously, my mind's

like, well, unless they strapped her to a giant

board or sled or something and tied her down.

Oh, God, that's horrible. That's just awful.

Fucking go! I really like the GL Hot Girl playfulness

in this, especially the snow constructs. Those

are awesome. And Jean, I can grow into it. When

he smiles, it's eerie. Especially in that scene.

That's just eerie to me. Especially with that

voice. Yeah. She so set him up. That's just wrong.

Funny, but wrong. With the mace thing. Oh, the

things that... Is that their idea of, like, flirtation

or something? I guess. I don't know. Hey, it's

the humanite! Yay! Something that really bugs

me about this... Flash would have been much faster

than that to avoid the clock. In the scene where

he and Humanite are fighting, he would have been

much faster to avoid that. Jaune acts like Santa

and eats the cookies the girl puts out. However,

I wish that he would have actually turned into

Santa. That would have been much funnier. Well,

his one exposure to Santa was that really ugly

-looking mug, so... Maybe it's a good thing he

didn't. Good thing that he didn't what? Turn

into Santa. Yeah, maybe. Is it just me, or did

you notice that at the end of this, when Hot

Girl and GL are... crumpled up next to the big,

ugly elf, that after she kisses him and she leans

to put her head against his shoulder, her right,

as far as her helmet goes, her ear on her helmet,

it seemed to turn in to mold to his shoulder.

Oh, I didn't notice that. I don't know, man.

I don't know if it was just an animation thing

or what it was, but yeah, that's what I got.

What do you got on this one? The ugly aliens

in the beginning. They look like little jellyfish.

Yeah. Green Lantern snowboarding. But he said

that it was sledding. Rub -a -ducky, oh my. It's

like Zuzu Pets, Elmo, and Cabbage Patch Kids

all rolled into one. As far as the sledding versus

snowboarding thing, I think... I know, it's minor.

to sit there and pick up art. Well, no, I know,

but what he said was that his grandmother used

to take him sledding all the time, so I think

just with what he was doing with the ring, an

adult version of sledding, I don't know. Oh,

hello, my name is Sean. I'm a Martian. Hi, Sean.

It was like him going into an AA meeting or something.

It's been three days since my last shapeshift.

Not AA, an MA. Martians Anonymous. Exactly. There's

three of them now in the DC universe. Oh, we're

no stranger to aliens in this house. Really?

Way to go, Dad. The whole him trying to get acclimated

to living in the house, and then, kitty, the

cat just flips out. Yeah, that was a little scary.

Flash saying, oh, I'll go right to the source.

Words out of my mouth I should be flogged for,

but I'm like, oh, it's going to a third world

country? Oh, it's going to Japan. Oh, okay, yes,

that's not a third world country at all. Talk

about stolen Chinese toys. Hey, Japanese. Well...

The oh -my -god parental Xmas jokes. The, oh,

we used to wrap him in lead. Yeah. Don't you

mean Santa? Oh, yes, dear. Santa. Santa wrapped

him in lead. And then he still goes down and

tries to use his X -ray vision. Yeah. Let's see.

Hawkgirl likes to hang out in some very strange

places. Jean and the Oreos. Oreos are his favorite

little guilty pleasure. If people are reading

Brightest Day, there's a scene where Guy and

Hal both go to Mars to see Jean, who's just kind

of surveying Mars and trying to get back to who

he is. And Guy Gardner shows up with this huge

box. shipping box full of milk and loose Oreo

cookies as a gift to Jean. And, yeah, the ending

was very, very touching, and I really... I really

felt for Jean. Yeah. Because if there's people

that have ever been away from their family for

Christmas and staying with friends or something

like that, and you don't... You do feel like

a Martian. You feel like you don't know what

to expect. You don't know how to interact. You

don't know any of the family customs. And you

feel bad when people are like, here, here's a

gift. No one in this family goes without a Christmas

gift, and you're left going, I didn't really

have anything for you guys. No, I really associated

myself with Jaune in this episode. Yeah. And

if I associated myself with Hawkgraw, I'd be

kind of wondering about myself, really. Well,

I'll give Maria Canales Barrera one good thing.

She can burp like no tomorrow. Wow. Oh, come

on. That was funny. I wonder where she gets it

from. I don't know. Yeah, I think that's all

I got. Yeah, this one was okay. It's a nice breather

between this and obviously the epicness that

is Starcrossed, but I don't know. Oh, we need

to bring up Clark said Batman practically begged

for Monder Duty, so we all know where Batman

is. Yep. And Wonder Woman's probably not far

behind. Wonder Bat Twins powers activate. Oh,

God. Or, I should say, Wonder Pig Twin Powers

activate. Oh, crap. That's funny. Oh, yes, I'm

amusing myself over here, ladies and gentlemen.

Yeah, because... Lupus isn't finding it funny

at all. He's just sitting over there shaking

his head like, why don't you shut the fuck up

already? It's more of a, I don't understand.

Wonder Pig was Wonder Woman's pig form. Oh, right.

And then the Wonder Bat Twins is a takeoff of

Wonder Twins from Super Friends. Combining Wonder

Woman and Batman. Do we really want to combine

Wonder Woman and Batman? I mean, we saw the mistake

that we got out of combining Superman and Wonder

Woman. We ended up with Project Echo. Oh. Hmm.

Okay. Alrighty then. So, Comfort and Joy, it's

an okay episode. It's not the best, but again,

we needed a breather between Wild Cards and Starcross,

so... I liked it. I mean, I thought it was very

touching. Yeah, no, it is, but I think it's because

it's throwing me off, even though we're reviewing

it the way it's supposed to be. But on the DVDs,

we see it first, and then we see Wild Cards,

and then Starcrossed. So that's where it threw

me off, because I'm thinking, okay, we go from

Hereafter to Comfort and Joy. I'm like, what

the fuck is this? No, seriously, because if you

watch it in order on the DVDs, at least for me,

I'm like, okay, hereafter, completely awesome,

two -parter, single episode comfort and joy.

Wow, they're really breaking the mold with this

one. Well, it is a half -hour episode as opposed

to their two -parters. So this kind of broke

them in for what's going to happen. Getting the

timing down for Justice League Unlimited. Yeah,

that is true. I can agree to that. What was that?

This is quote number one. Annie freeze anyone?

Please, no jokes. Just get her. This is quote

number two. You really think you can beat me?

I'm not trying to beat you. I'm trying to stall

you. Stall me? For what? For what it's worth,

I don't think you could have taken Batman either.

This is quote number three. Another dead end.

I'm beginning to wonder if I might be wrong.

I've got some things to say. I should have said

them when you were here, but... Despite our differences,

I have nothing but respect for you. I hope you

knew. Know that. You showed me that justice doesn't

always have to come from the darkness. I'll miss...

What did you always call it, Clark? The never

-ending battle? This is quote number four. Oh,

thrilling, isn't it? The suspense is killing

me. Of course, it's going to be the explosions

that kill them. Well, we are almost done with

season two of Justice League. We just have Starcrossed

next, and then we will go Unlimited. Um, way

back in... I don't even remember the episode

number now. When we first started Season 2, I

believe it was Episode 6 or 7, somewhere around

there. No, I think it was Episode 7, yeah. You

had asked about why didn't Brainiac go after

Jaune instead of Superman. Somebody replied,

because I posted this on the earth -2 .net forums.

Somebody replied, of course, the counter to that

is... Because when I explained it to you, I said

the way I could explain it was that Superman

and Brainiac are mortal enemies. And then you

pointed out that Brainiac is a devourer of knowledge.

Somebody wrote, of course, the counter to that

is that by the time he's done with it, every

planet Brainiac is interested in is a dead planet.

Which is kind of what I told you as well, because

technically Mars is already dead. There's no

knowledge left there. So he wouldn't really go

after Mars. Um, and then somebody else pointed

out, if I can find the post here, uh, where'd

it go? Here we go. Um, and somebody else, uh,

pointed out to that, that, that comment. Someone

says, nah, it wasn't the knowledge he was after,

it was his body. Brainiac wanted a new organic

host body to inhabit. The Kryptonians are, quote

unquote, arguably the most, more powerful than

Martians, especially in the DCAU when John gets

psychically attacked every other episode. So,

yeah. And it makes sense that Brainiac was going

after Superman's body now that I think back on

it. So there's your explanation from, like, three

or four episodes ago. Thanks, everyone. So, yeah,

I think that's going to do it for us. Thank you

for, oh, I want to let everybody know, be sure

to listen to the entire end of the episode. because

after the regular JL Season 1, Season 2 outro

music, there's going to be a little something

at the end there. Thank you for joining us here

on The Secret Origins Podcast. There are several

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last time I checked this, we still have no feedback.

No, we don't. What's wrong with you people? It

would be morally and ethically wrong for me to

sit there and edit my own. Yeah, you can't write

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You've probably already done it for DFW. No,

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wish you'll join us next time when we'll be reviewing

the final story from Justice League Season 2,

that being Starcrossed. For now... For now, I

am TFG1 Mike with... Lupus Convoy. Thank you

for listening. Until next time, and hopefully

by Starcross, Lupus will actually be well. Hopefully.

Hopefully. See you, folks. Batman hasn't arrived.

Have you spoken with him? He's still not answering

calls. He doesn't handle laws very well. Is that

him now? I can't see. I can. Luthor, how dare

you show your face here? Lois, I... You've come

to gloat. You've tried to get rid of him for

years. Are you happy now? Isn't this what you've

always wanted? I hate you! I hate you! Believe

it or not, I'm going to miss him too. we gather

here today, bound together in sorrow and loss,

we share a precious gift. We are all of us privileged

to live a life that has been touched by Superman.

The Man of Steel possessed many extraordinary

gifts, and he shared them with us freely. None

of these gifts were more remarkable than his

ability to discern what needed to be done, and

his unfailing courage in doing it. whatever the

personal cost. Let us all strive to accept his

gift and pass it along as an ongoing tribute

to Kal -El of Krypton, the immigrant from the

stars who taught us all how to be heroes. And

Superman holds a grenade in his hands like this.

So it blows, and he doesn't even move. And I

say, are you all right? And he says... This is

the best part. He says, fine, and you? To Superman.

To Superman. Perhaps this isn't the best time,

but we need to consider replenishing our forces.

A new member? Who? Aquaman, maybe? Metamorphome.

Is Supergirl old enough? Before we look outside,

we should start with family. Batman, this is

Diana. Go ahead. We're discussing the future

of the Justice League. We're hoping you'll make

it official and become a full -time member. I'm

busy. Batman out. Yeah, Aquaman could definitely

pick up Batman's slack in the pompous jerk department.

He's grieving. Give him time. What's with all

the long faces, Justice Dweebs? It's like a wake

in here. Lighten up. The answer to all your problems

has arrived. Since we're going to be working

together... Call me Lobo!