SimCity and Tomb Raider Review

This week on Off the Cuff, we tried to get through

this as quickly as possible so we could get back

to playing video games. By so doing, in a short

period of time, it's guaranteed to quickly and

easily help you once and for all. So much. That's

why you need a professional. Yeah, wonder what's

going to be in the spoofs at the end. Yeah, this

whole part. Mike trying to pull the cock out

of his mouth. And now you know who I am. I am

your host, Michael Powers. I'm joined this week

by Art Danner. Hi. And by Sean Zee. Hello. Joe

is absent as he has work related things to do.

And our guest host, what about Jason, but he

is stuck at work as well. So that leaves the

three of us and Wikipedia. It's like Joe will

be here anyways. So just rename Wikipedia, Wikijoe.

My god. I don't know about that. Wikipedia covers

more things. Does Wikipedia have its own Wikipedia

page? Because we could change it to Jopedia.

We could. Yeah. So, who wants to go first? What

have they been playing for the last two weeks?

Oh my god, it has been two weeks, hasn't it?

It has. What happened last week? Everything fell

apart at the last minute. Yeah, you got called

into work. That's right I had to work a 15 -hour

shift and then my paycheck was badass today Those

holes don't swing around themselves, man. I know

and then Joe had In -laws come in from out of

town or something So that's right. It would have

been much fun for Sean Z and I to sit there and

talk about handheld gaming I would've enjoyed

listening to it and blasting the hell out of

it on the internet. It would've gone by so fast.

Probably would've just talked about what we've

been playing and then read the news, or read

your notes, and then called it a night. They

would've literally gone through and literally

read the notes verbatim and then been done with

it. It's gonna say I think I gave you guys worse

I'll say it says opening by Mike, which we all

know the opening is gonna be by you, so Let's

just throw let's throw this third opening was

by him mostly due to the fact that you can't

talk so yeah Sorry, I've spent the better part

of the last day not talking to anybody and yeah

the most We can only know how to do we blame

him many You know what? I'm sorry. It's a lot

of fun. Yeah. You're a city planner being that

guy. Well, I just I. I was looking forward to

it and I watched videos like EA did these let's

all be mayor videos last last week. They did

seven cities over seven days to show you like

the different types of cities that you can build

the different things and they had they had like

producers and game designers come on and. They

were playing the game while these two improv

comedians were asking the questions, like moderating

for Twitter and Facebook. And it was really interesting

to watch. I actually watched the better part

of all of them. So I was really excited for the

game. And, you know, I like every everyone else

that was excited for the game was waiting around

for it to unlock at midnight on Monday to download

on Origin and midnight. or I should say 1201

rolled around and nothing happened. 1202 rolled

around. Nothing happened. And finally, I can.

But in my head, I see you staring at a clock.

Well, at about at about 1205, I was like, OK,

let's see what Twitter has to say. And oh, my

God, Twitter had exploded like apparently people

don't understand how the Internet works. It's

not everything is instantaneous. And just because

they upload something and then that does not

mean you get it at midnight Well, yeah, cuz it

has to hit like it has to like go across and

hit different servers in different regions. Yeah,

so it's like it's slowly Zombie out breaking

across the country. Yeah, and then you have to

understand that when the people that get it They're

all sudden they're they're hitting the server

really hard and that slows everything down and

it's like So people were like crying, you know,

refund and they want their money back. And meanwhile,

it's 1207. And this went on and on and on and

on and on. And I stayed up until. I stayed up

until 330. And I still had not gotten the mind,

my game still had not unlocked, and I was really

hoping to be able to download it to take it to

work with me to play it. Is there any way to

like cue it up so it would download immediately

or no? Um, no what actually happened when I got

up More power to my my fiance for being awesome

When I got up yesterday morning, I it was available

to download So I started downloading it and it

was like a 10 gig download or something. I was

like Well, this isn't gonna download before I

leave for work Bless her heart. She brought my

computer to me at work after it finished So I

was actually able to avoid Doing work like usual.

Yeah and watching all of my TV shows it I I don't

know I Was gonna watch his stories. I was on

I was on my programs damn it my programs whatever

golden girl Why does it do I always feel terrible

at the fact that I actually go to work to work?

It's weird It's not terrible jealous Damn it.

My ass hasn't been sit on in eight hours. As

everyone knows, the other the other thing about

the game is it hasn't always on Internet connection.

It does not work without being connected. The

way I got around that at work was I actually

used the tethering on my phone for once. And

luckily, it's it sips data like it's not a constant

stream. I think it just. It. So it's like data

bursts? Yeah, everything's asynchronous. There's

multiplayer in the game, like you can have multiple

cities in a region and you can either have all

the cities in the region for yourself, or you

can jump into a region and plan a city and play

with other people and you can share resources.

Can you fuck up other people's cities? No, you

cannot. Well, what the hell? Well, what you can

do is you can be a total dick and not supply

them with anything. Yeah, I mean they could be

crowned before me. I mean you could they could

be crying out bar goes Pretty much. I mean they

can cry out and be like we need we need resources

We need money we need this and I could be like

I have all of that in abundance guys I would

just start buying random stuff and showing up

look what I just bought well I have six of these

already. I was just playing around with my with

my first city And I found myself I was playing

with two other people that I did not know, and

for some reason the chat function, there's no

voice chat yet. It's all text based. Yes, it's

all text based. And for some reason, I could

not get a message out, but the game does a really

good job of relaying to you what your neighbors

need. And I'm sitting here in my city and I'm

raking in the money. It's really easy to make

money in this game. If you're not making money

in the new Sim City, you're not trying. And I

was like raking in the money and all I saw was

these other two guys say we need money We need

money and you can see how much money they have

like you can see this the stats about their city

so They can't just say they need money the game

says it for them Okay, and then you know they

can say it, but you can be look at look at their

city be like no you don't well Yeah, but the

game also throws up an icon Like of various needs

that they have like if they need fire coverage

They'll be like a little flame or health coverage

will be the cross Cops will be the police shield

and so you can send them to help If you if you

want to and you get you get reimbursed for all

this stuff But what I was doing is I was just

Breaking in the money and I was building my city

really slowly and I couldn't figure out what

I wanted to spend it on So I was like, I'll just

give my money away So I just started giving money

to the other two people that I didn't even know

in my region and started giving them the money

but No, I. That's how you get into debt. USA,

Jesus. Hey, I made all my money back and I actually

playing today. I was actually able to save the

city even more. It's nice because the game the

last SimCity I played was SimCity four. And that

game was like for me, in my opinion, that game

was broken. You could fail a city within 30 minutes

of starting one. And there was like no coming

back. So I have a question. If you fail a city,

does Aero come after you? No. You filled there

are there is a superhero and a supervillain.

Oh god, there's Then I got that for pre -ordering

it there. It's a Max's man and evil dr. Vu and

They do different things for your city. So I

haven't played with them yet because I'm too

scared to but Max's man will fly around your

city and he'll fight crime for you And they heat

if your jails are full he brings them back to

his lair and then they just disappear Do with

that what you will maybe he kills them. I don't

know But it's them to the negative zone. Yes,

but the evil dr. Vu he actually does something

really neat So if you have a city that's like

full of crime and you plop down his headquarters

He will amass criminals in his headquarters Mm

-hmm, and then when when it's full up he will

send them out in a crime wave across your city

and they'll spread out to your neighboring cities

and steal a bunch of stuff and bring it all back

as profit for your city. That's awesome. So you

can fuck over other cities. That's like the only

way that you can. But it's in and it was actually

really cool because I was trying to upgrade my

services like there's there's a there's like

a police station and there's a police headquarters.

And so like you start with a police station,

then you can upgrade it to the police headquarters

when you have a big city. And I had a jail attached

to my police station. And when I blew it up,

it doesn't just. Anyone that was in there, they

don't die. So I blew it up and I had the crime

map up and I saw this like 50 criminals all of

a sudden showed up on my map where the where

the police headquarters was. They spread out

in a fan across my city like scatter like killing

like killing and murdering it and Like graffiti

was everywhere. Yeah, and then when I plopped

down my new police HQ by the time I popped out

of the police HQ My city had turned orange on

the map saying that it was all crime and then

I plopped down the police presence and It was

so the police presence was so heavy in that one

spot instead of bling blue was like purple And

I watched it slowly as the police officers spread

out around the city and rained everybody back

in. So you had to blow up the old PlayStation

to make a new one? I didn't have to do it that

way, but I wanted them in the same spot. For

some reason, it didn't dawn on me that the criminals

would just break free. Like they would be set

free. Like you blew it up, the criminals would

just be like, scatter! Yeah, I thought they'd

all die. Now everybody be on your best behavior.

I'm gonna take all the cops away. Yeah, exactly.

Okay, Mr. Wooby, real good! But, um... And the

same thing happens, like, if you close your hospital.

Like, all the sick people that are in there leave,

and then you have a chance for a zombie outbreak.

Yes! Oh, that's sweet! Um... I've had a couple...

The game, like... It was really nice, because

the game, like, it swung back and forth, right?

I'd be making a ton of money, and progressing

forward, and then I'd be making, like, nothing,

and... Failing all that like I'd be like losing

money and I'd be like, oh man, I'm gonna I'm

gonna lose it it's gonna fall apart on me and

That never actually happens because the game

when you hit zero when you run out of money the

game actually wants you to succeed So it throws

up a menu. It's like do you want to turn off

city services or raise taxes or zone more? Places

to build or do you just want to start a new city?

And I was like, I'll just turn off city services

and I saw I was constantly fighting with the

With what I could leave turned on and what I

could leave turned off because if you turn off

like like let's say you turn off City Hall All

of a sudden you lose it you lose access to your

you don't just turn off City Hall you lose access

to like your advanced water and sewage So all

of a sudden people will start getting sick But

I at one point I had a population of like a hundred

thousand people and The economy and everything

started sliding the other way and I lost 60 ,000

people in like five minutes. I had like a massive

traffic jam like leaving the city. And I was

able to turn it around by shutting everything

off. And while I was in the process of doing

that, an earthquake hit. Just randomly in the

game. I was like, what are you doing to me? Cause

that starts fires and my fire departments were

turned off. And Then as soon as that was done,

I was like, okay I'm gonna start cleaning this

mess up and then like two tornadoes hit in a

row I was like you you really want me to not

play this city But I actually turned it around

and I now have like a city it's like almost 200

,000 people in it and So that's that's kind of

fun. And then I started another one Because you

can you act there's actually like a mini trading

game in it where you can mine for coal and ore

and oil and you have to like build like oil pumping

stations and coal mines and stuff like that to

get the stuff out of the ground and it's all

finite and you can get it out of the ground and

then you can turn it you can take coal and ore

you can turn it into like an alloy and a metal

and you can sell that to make more money so I

was playing I was playing around with that I'm

in the process with that sitting in the process

of just amassing like an incredible amount of

wealth who's selling that stuff off on the market.

And then I'm going to, I'm going to set, I'm

going to give all the money away to the people

that are around me. And then I'm just going to

like destroy the city with all, with a bunch

of disasters. Can you, how, how you can force

disasters? Yeah. You can, uh, you could be like,

Oh, I want an earthquake in this spot or I want

a meteor shower to take this out. Um, so yeah,

I, I'm going to raise it. I'm going to raise

the area and totally burnt the ground after I've

taking all the wealth out of the land and then

I can abandon that city but somebody else can

turn around and take it over if they like someone

else came along that particular map they could

take over that land and try and like rejuvenate

it because I've trashed the land it's like inhabitable

but I'm having I'm having a lot of fun there's

just a lot of new interesting things they can

do and it totally Checks into that. I just got

to do one more tweak here one more thing there

And Ali and I were like right before we got on

the podcast I was playing with the city that's

got almost two hundred thousand Sims in it and

I was trying to Get enough Sims into my university

so that I could upgrade the university and I

was almost there and I was like I just did if

I just tweaked it and she goes you're never gonna

stop playing I was like I know and so I just

kind of But she made me stop playing so we could

go get some food and then here I am So what happens

that way if you're playing that you said they're

always on connection the stuff happen in your

city when you're not there No, it does not if

it's all asynchronous. So let's say I if I'm

if I set up a city and I'm playing with you and

The way it works. Is that anything that you create

an accent and excess like power or water treatment

or? You pump more water out of the ground than

you're supposed to That stuff can be like if

you're playing in your city, you can see that

and you can buy it from me So like right now

I have a surplus of power Like I I have enough

power in my my city is generating enough power

to power another city of the same size So if

I had a city the same size I could literally

have no power supply just run off of yours if

you let me exactly And I don't I don't have to

let you you just buy it from me and the game

gives me the money But do you have an option

to be like no? No What'll happen is when I if

you suck all the power out to where I'm in like

a neutral state where I'm just cutting even If

you take it past the point where my city will

no longer function. It shuts yours off completely

It I mean the the deal will still be there for

you to take it but it You won't be you won't

be able to take any power from me. My city comes

first anything I overproduce you get so You never

pay for anything more than what you're getting

from me Okay, so what if like say I have a city

and I'm running under power and you go and you

decide to like cut your power production You'd

screw my city over. Well one I'd probably screw

my city But if I did yes if I cut power production

you would lose you would do you cut yours in

half? So you're producing exactly the amount

your city needed you would be screwed, but yeah

But you won't be screwed until like I start playing

like until you start playing again like if I'm

playing without you I'm not entirely sure how

this works. It's all asynchronous. It's like

the it's like the turn -based games we play on

the phone So none of it's in real time so even

if you're not playing I'm still getting money

from your city. So if I don't play for a week.

But you know, I don't I don't. But you're not

losing anything. I don't know how it works. It's

it's weird. But it's neat. It's neat when you're

playing with people that that know what's going

on. Like that first region I got in, I was trading

resources back and forth with people and and

sending cops over to patrol his streets. I had

like 15 cop cars and. I needed it to deal with

the crime wave that I caused. But then instead

of getting rid of them, I was like, you know

what? I will just be the police force for the

rest of the region. He's America. Right now,

I feel like I'm the only one when I jump in a

region to play with people. I feel like I'm the

only one that gets the You're supposed to pay

attention to who's around you and kind of help

each other out The real problem I've run into

like I said, there's finite resources in the

game and water is one of them and I might like

my My mining city the one where I'm trying to

make all the money. I've completely took I've

taken all the water out of the ground on my plot

of You know on my little city and so everybody's

screaming for water and people are leaving in

mass and buildings are shutting down because

there's no water but nobody in the region is

supplying water like it's so it's like I can't

do anything without just abandoning the city

so it's kind of a bummer so you screwed your

entire city I did but I have a shit ton of money

though Thank God they can drink that. They can

drink the oil I'm pulling out of the ground.

They'll just ship in bottled water. So, but yeah,

I like is the money. Separated between all your

cities or is it like a pool? It's separated like

I I get my own. You would get your own. No, no,

I mean like say so that city you have that's

making tons of money. That city dies that money

gone. Yes. So so if that city dot what way what

will happen is as the slowly city dots as the

city slowly dies That money will be depleted

down to zero So if I was gonna take if I was

just gonna cut and run I would gift it to the

people around me And then start a new one having

to gift it back. Well, I could do that like like

if we were playing together I could go into a

region and You know, strip mine. Yeah, strip

the area for all of its resources and all and

get all the money and then sell it to you guys

and go start another city in the region and you

guys could sell it all back to me and I could

like build like a super city. We could not just

keep his money. Yeah, that's true. But that's

what I'm going to do for the guys that I'm playing

in the region with where I'm building the coal

thing. I'm just going to be like, you know what?

I'm out. Here's here's a couple million. Yeah,

I'm out. Buy yourself something nice. Yeah, I'd

like to see the guy that comes in here. And it

was really interesting, because in the first

city that I was in, the guy that I was sharing

resources with, he up and left. And I was like,

well, that was kind of weird. All right. And

then someone else jumped in on his spot. And

I saw in his little text thing, it said, wow,

I don't know what happened here, but this place

is trashed. Ugh. And I was like. Wow, okay, what

happened? So I hopped out in the region view

and I went and looked at the guy's city The guy

like raised everything. There wasn't a single

tree. It was like scorched earth Like I was like,

whoa, what the hell I leave I'm just gonna salt

the grounds and nothing ever grows It was crazy.

I I recently installed a Right before we started

recording. I because my Sims were crying for

power constantly because I was using solar and

wind energy And that doesn't work in oil. Well,

I I saved up the money and I have the my sims

are educated enough to have a nuclear power plant

That'll never run badly. Well, that's what I

say what happened I've been attacked by Godzilla

I was gonna ask if he was in that But I when

you tell me there's a mod to make it Bowser.

I don't know probably not because it's all server

based but The cool thing about that when you

click on a building, they tell you like what

is needed for the building to be successful or

how much power it's generating for you and that

stuff. But when you click on the nuclear reactor,

it says education level safe. Like so if your

people are too dumb. Yes. So so if I would go

through noble. Yeah. So if I went through and

I took out all the schools in my in my city.

everybody will become, slowly everyone will become

dumb and the nuclear reactor would then probably

say like moderate or not safe or then hazardous

or something and it runs the risk of a meltdown

and when there is a meltdown if you look at the

radiation map it's literally it looks like a

bullseye like a nuclear explosion goes off and

there's a dense mass of red and then a lighter

shade of red Basically like ground zero then

moving out. Yep, and anything that gets in that

nothing will grow there the radiation will slowly

deplete over time But nothing will grow there

and even if sims like drive through it. They

will they will be they will become sick One of

the cities that I watched EA the the maxis guys

build on their live stream They put in a nuclear

power plant for shits and giggles And then they

hit it with a meteorite. And so it blew up and

it left the radiation pattern on the ground.

Well, they decided to put an airport right in

it. And so Sims were flying in on the aircraft

and before they even left the airport, they were

like sick and dying. So It's it's fun. And like

I said, it's it's it's it reminds me more of

like SimCity 2000 and like the last SimCity because

it's a lot Easier to correct your mistakes and

you see you can see changes happening faster.

So, you know if you're on the right track with

something But I'm having a lot of fun like I

said, I've sung probably like, you know 15 15

and 17 hours into the game already No, you sunk

15 in the first day. Yeah. So but I haven't been

I haven't been able to play that much today because.

Oh my God. How are you alive? Well, like breathing.

Like what? Seven. No, for some for some stupid

reason, they decided today would be a good day

to push out a server patch. And so it went down

like their servers have been. It's been probably

want to get it done before the weekend. Yeah,

but I would. But the things that they've listed

that they're fixing. Weren't even like game breaking

like if it was me I'd be like, okay, you just

got bad press from your launch Why not just let

people why not let it breathe let people play

and then in a week when most people are just

done with the game anyways Then do your patch

like don't do two days of bad press in a row

Excuse me. That's just I don't know but I I wasn't

mad that I wasn't able to get it at midnight.

I wasn't expecting it to download instantly at

midnight. I mean, I usually have pretty good

luck when it comes to that kind of stuff. So

I thought I'd take my chances, but I guess what

was really what started pissing a lot of people

off is that people that pre -ordered couldn't

download it at midnight. But if you went into

the store on Origin and you said add to cart

and you bought it at that moment, it would start

downloading. Hmm, but people that pre -ordered

it was not unlocking form and that's what kind

of started the all the the shit like I want my

read barrage Yeah, I didn't I didn't get it I

actually said something like if you thought that

the launch of sim city was gonna go smoothly

Then you must be from the future. Why did you

come back to this mess? So Well, it's just it's

like when a new Call of Duty game comes out and

everybody hops on that first night is horrible

for multiplayer No, no point to it Yeah, I kind

of wish it crashes every time I I wish that they

or you can't get in a game. Yeah or two Everyone's

playing but nobody can get in a game together

anyways The one thing I Wish that they would

do with this even if it is always online or that

you have digital downloads and stuff like that.

I wish that they would take the pre -order information

about how many sales they have and build their

space their server they're starting server capacity

off of that number it's like oh you know a million

people pre -ordered this game we better make

sure our servers can at least handle a million

yeah because all at once well because the way

it works right now is it's like okay we know

this many people are pre -ordering it but let's

just assume This many people are gonna get 250

,000 people are gonna try and sign on so they

plan for 250 ,000 But really it ends up being

like 500 ,000 and stuff goes to shit. It's like

they scale to it instead of scaling down to it

like I Just it's like plan ahead and then work

backwards that way you can avoid this mess It's

and the reason they do that. I understand it's

it's like a cost thing. It's like you don't want

to You don't want to run a server for a million

people if there's never a million people on there.

But at least you could do it for like a day,

you know, or two, until you find out what your

peak usage is. It's, I don't know. But this is

my first PC launch. Like that I've done like

a pre -order and a digital download. I guess

there's all sorts of stuff like pre -loading

games and they just magically unlock, which they

didn't do with SimCity, which more people were

complaining about. But no, I'm having a people

complain. That's what it is. Yeah I'm having

a blast. I'm looking forward to what we're done

here and going back and playing it some more.

Of course you are. It's also made me rethink

purchasing Tomb Raider at this moment. Because

you don't want to buy it and have it just set.

Yes. Considering your New Year's resolution.

Yep. I didn't figure you were going to buy it

anyways. I have it pre -ordered. You have Tomb

Raider pre -ordered? Yeah. You're too big of

a chick to play that game. I'm sorry. It's not

You're telling him right now. He's not gonna

enjoy it. He's gonna be pissing his pants in

the first two minutes. I highly doubt it I was

gonna say if you can't handle the remote like

games that I don't even find remotely scary I

don't know the problem the problem is I never

even that even though they're gonna they put

Laura Croft in these weird situations It's to

me. It's gonna be Laura Croft. It's like playing

Batman. You don't get It says guy who hasn't

played it. Okay, all right, but it's still Lara

Croft. Yeah So I know who the character is uh

-huh Anyway, I get what I get what you're saying.

I also say I also finished Uncharted so Of course

wasn't that a slow build the crazy though wait

wait Are we talking about you finished Uncharted

and Vita or you? No, I finished talking. I'm

talking about Uncharted, uh, Drake's Fortune.

No, I, the only reason I'm not picking it up

is because I just don't want it to sit here.

You know, I can, I, you know, that'd be $63 just

doing nothing. So, but the problem is at this

point, I don't know if I'll be able to come back

to it. So. Yeah. Well. Did player SimCity enjoy

it? Yeah, if you're enjoying it play the hell

out of it, man I did eat while the servers were

out of the wheels fall off. Well, the servers

were down today, though I was like, you know

what? I'll just go pick up Tomb Raider and play

it till the servers come back on and then it

looked back Oh God, thank God pretty much Thank

you for not making me drive to the store Look

back like maybe I should check just one last

time to see the servers aren't oh my god. They

are so Danner Yes, so I Came home last night

after buying Tomb Raider pictures of it for Instagram.

Yes I Was getting the kids kids had to get a

bath so I was like, you know what I'll run downstairs

I'll turn on the ps3. Let the install start and

then I'll run upstairs Lo and behold there is

of course a system update last night for the

ps3 as well So I had to wait for the system update.

No system update was done Popped the game game

in and waited to install that and lo and behold

There was no install It was it was ready to go.

I was like crap. So now it was just like well

now I'm just like you know, ready to play, and

I got like a half an hour until I can actually

do anything, so I had to get the kids to bed.

So I, uh, my pre -order, which everybody at work

didn't get this, um, if you pre -ordered it at

Best Buy, it came with a hardcover copy of the,

uh, prequel comic book. So you read that? So

I sat down and read the prequel comic book while

it was, while I was, you know, getting the kids

in bed and getting them to fall asleep and I

read that before I even played the game and it

just it was nice because it gives an insight

to every single one of the characters that are

in the game that are on the ship and then the

because the game like there's no it's like 60

seconds hey look Lara Croft you're on a ship

then boom everything goes wrong ship explodes

tearing apart everything's going to hell and

you land in the water and then crawl up on shore

and then you see all of your people directly

out of sight like they can't hear you you're

yelling for them and then you get smacked over

the head and then it's you fading in and out

of consciousness as you're being dragged down

into the caves and just seeing human remains

and skulls everywhere And it's pretty much where

the E3 demo starts. Is that what you think? I'm

not going to be able to stand. Or is this something

else? There's other stuff, but I think you'll

I just don't understand your adversion to survival

horror. Well, or remotely scary games. Mean I

get an inversion to Silent Hill 2 because that

game is fucking creepy But it's The thing about

Tomb Raider that I've really liked so far is

the environments are gorgeous the gameplay is

incredibly solid and the Slow tension build that

the tension just always seems to be there And

it's and yes, it's exactly as you described as

the fact it's Lara Croft I've actually described

it to somebody the other day the exact same way

as It's like playing Arkham you're playing as

Batman no matter what scary situation you're

playing Batman can handle this exactly. I don't

know if I'd be able to but Batman's gonna kick

some ass right here. So that's like And it kind

of it's got or it's kind of like Bioshock 2 You're

playing as a big daddy. How freaking freaked

out can you get? By that game because of the

fact that you you already established the fact

that you're a big daddy in that game and it's

kind of hard to be You kind of get that superhero.

You're you're already one of the most badass

things. Yeah bitch slap this thing Yeah, exactly.

When I was doing Arkham Asylum and you've come

across everyone with the white eyes when you

realize Scarecrow's around, I was kind of creeped

out for a second. I was like, no, what am I afraid

of? I'm just going to start punching stuff. And

it's really interesting to see that all for the

reboot, like a lot of the classic characters

from the series are in the game. They've just

been really established. They're they're pretty

much the same people, but it's just a re -establishing

of everybody Like the hacker who lives on Lara

Croft's the computer guy that lives on Lara Croft's

Estate and has his headquarters there at the

mansion and kind of helps her with stuff He's

one of the characters who are in the game her

mentor from It's an angel of darkness that they

kind of have the run -in with there. He's the

ship's captain and her Mentor there and kind

of you know pushing her he's not a total d -bag

like he is in the other games in the series But

it's really And the fact that they actually chose

an actual legitimate place to set this whole

thing It's actually based on real But that's

Tomb Raider has always been kind of good about

that how it's always been kind of based on some

sort of actual you know, legend and actual places

because it's, um, when I say it takes place on

the dragon circle, which is on the complete opposite

end of the world of where, um, the Bermuda triangle

is. Okay. So it's an actual phenomenon type of

a place. Is it like legitimately straight across?

Yeah, literally straight across. You just hear

everybody talk about the Bermuda Triangle, you

know circles are so last year everybody's in

the triangle. Yes but uh it's The first kill

that you have to do in the game is just so well

done and so Creepy just nuts like does it did

they do a better job of? I'm not this type of

person than Far Cry 3 did Yeah, um You know what

I'm talking about? It's Like does it do a better

job of the fish out of water than Far Cry 3 did?

It does somewhat because of the fact like the

first thing that happens is It's and it's one

of those things they do it's they do a good job

of kind of nerfing that Lara Croft experience

because of the fact that with the first time

you really have any control over her she's hanging

upside down wrapped in animal skins from the

top of a cavern and you break loose and you fall

and the first thing that happens is when you

fall and free yourself is you land on a piece

of broken femur that punctures you right in the

side so you're in bad shape from the get I'm

like you've just in a huge shipwreck so she wasn't

in good shape to start off with but now she has

a puncture wound through her side and it's just

crap keeps happening that she gets severely injured

constantly which makes the experience a little

more believable For how the kind of scared girl

type of a thing? unlike far cry it doesn't really

seem like the the Total badass kind of like that

curve that kind of happens a far cry where it's

just like oh my god I can't believe I killed

somebody and I'm gonna kill them and kill them

and kill them um Okay, okay. Well, so like like

far cry three all right wait when you when I

started playing that game I approached it like

I would any other shooter because that's how

the game let me do it. And I was like, I'm I'm

cutting fools and I'm, you know, sniping people

from, you know, four football fields away. And

I can I can do this because, you know, I've seen

a military shooter before, but I don't buy that

this character could ever do this. Yes, he played

video games before. Well, I think the way that

it slowly evolves is video game violence. And

they hinder you with gameplay is what I was getting

at today. Because she's injured, does she control

differently? Or do you have the same control?

She moves a little bit slower, but I think eventually

she gets used to the discomfort and then she

controls fine. She's limping and moving pretty

slowly at the beginning of the game. But as time

goes on, it even keels itself out when she bandages

herself and that kind of stuff. It's just like,

it's just so solid so far, which through some

of the reviews that I've read that after about

three or four hours, the story starts to crumble,

but the gameplay is so solid that it holds it

together. So I'm interested to see if the story

really truly, in my opinion, starts to fall apart

because so far it's been really good. Um, the

one thing I can say because. Tomb Raider has

been one of those series that has always been

compared to Uncharted or Uncharted has been compared

to it because Uncharted did so many things better

and involved that type of game. The one thing

that I could say in the first like 20 minutes

of the games, I was like, man, this has a much

more, this has a feel a lot like Uncharted, but

it doesn't baby you like Uncharted does. Things

aren't highlighted in yellow everywhere. When

you know to climb something and there there's

multiple ways to get through areas. I mean, you

could skip right past the tombs and stay on the

ground or you can go underground and. So find

relics and stuff like this that or the other

thing that I'm incredibly impressed with that.

always slightly it was probably one of the only

things that really ever irked me about uncharted

was let's get you in a room and then send a bunch

of guys after you and just wave after wave after

wave after guy where in this game it's like an

appropriate amount of bad guys when you encounter

them okay it's they don't you know you beat a

couple guys in this area then all of a sudden

a bunch of other guys come out from another there

may be like two guys in an area around the corner

that hear what's going on because if you make

noise or if a gunshot goes off yes the people

in the area will come but it's not like wave

after wave of guys it's like one or two extra

guys show up it's not like Five guys with missile

launchers show up and a guy with a chaingun shows

up type of a thing. Of course, I'm only two hours

into the game. For all I know, that happens later.

But it seems like an appropriate response, I

guess. And the enemy AI is really good. And every

time a bush moves in that game, I get a little

on edge because the wolves are a bitch in that

game. And they all travel in packs. What what's

the What's the what's the control scheme like

what's the closest because I when you look at

it it's like a it's like a Like a resident evil

type cameras or a like a Arkham Asylum type camera,

isn't it? Yeah, kind of over her shoulder. Yeah,

is it does it play like either one of like? Or

is it like or did they reinvent the control scheme

again Know it doesn't really the control scheme

seems solid doesn't really really feel Completely

forced I was gonna say that the ps3 controller

You have you like your survival instinct, which

is l2 which basically everything in the world

goes black and white and a pulse goes out and

Points of interest are highlighted in gold Then

like it's It's L1 to pull up your bow and arrow

And create tension and then it's R1 to release

Your arrow, but I mean The longer you pull it

because if you literally just pull it up and

shoot You'll have to empty like four or five

arrows into something in order to kill it But

if you actually longer you hold down the more

powerful shot correct Okay, cuz you're so so

shooting like you just shoot that's off with

the bow and arrow does not help you So it's better

to take one good shot than five fast ones Yeah,

and if you get tension all the way up and do

a headshot, it's I'll take people out. The only

way to hope so the only To really do any silent

kills is with the bow and arrow with the pickaxe

Like there's there was a stealth kill that I

had to do the other day And you come up behind

the guy and he grabbed the bow and you literally

grabbed the bow and grind it into their Adam's

apple and choked them back until you break their

necks So you basically just like choke them out.

We just call behind him and like right across

them. Oh, yeah sick nasty Okay, this what you're

describing me. So I don't know how long you played

the game for but it sounds kind of like it's

I've already put it I'm an hour and 40 minutes

into it so far. See, it seems like it's. I don't

know. You know what? I'm going to have to go

pick it up tomorrow because I want to have conversations

and I want to have played it, so. It's just it's

I it's a really solid and it's for a Square Enix

game. I expect there to be I really expected

it to be. Chopped full of. bullshit over abundant

cutscenes that really don't have a whole lot

to do with the game and there's literally was

a little bit in the intro and that was it well

to be fair it's just it's published by Square

Enix but it's it's Crystal Dynamics and Crystal

Dynamics has done a wonderful job like Tomb Raider

legend was great yes it was underworld was also

really well done Crystal Dynamics has done a

good job with Tomb Raider and I'm excited that

a group that came in and has done the more recent

games got a chance to go back and do it the way

they wanted to which because I mean honestly

a lot of the times lately people are a little

afraid to do a reboot of a series that's well

liked yeah I mean from what I've seen it paid

off with Devil May Cry also I think it did I

mean, I like - I like the - My thing is I just

don't care for Devil May Cry, period. So it's

not - It's not my bag. I - I - No, I'm gonna

go pick it up tomorrow. I - Cause I wanna have

conversations and I wanna play - Like, I liked

- I liked Legend. And I liked Underworld. The

problem I had with Underworld is that I - Uncharted

came out - I played Uncharted earlier in the

year. And I think that was a lot of the issues

with Legend and Underworld in general is because

of the fact that Uncharted came out, and it just

ate out Tomb Raider, Tomb Raider. So, first impressions

then, how do you, how does it, I don't even know

if it's a fair question, given that you've only

played for an hour, like two hours. How do you

feel it stacks up to Uncharted? I mean, do you

see it, I mean, can you see, like, do the characters

play out better? Does it, I mean, you said it

looks good. Is it, is it Uncharted good? Um.

I don't... the... because I'm trying to always

looks really good and always feels like control

wise really really solid but I can't the thing

with Tomb Raider so far is I can't get over how

well the environments characters and the weather

system all how well everything works together

Because most of everything so far is it's been

a constant downpour and thunderstorm going on

with lightning going off and it's just the environmental

environment of facts I would say the only thing

I've been disappointed with so far is the animals

look a little meh The deers look a little meh.

They're just off. Yeah, there's just I They need

to copy paste the Assassin's Creed animals. Yeah

the And I was gonna say that seems to be a thing

that's been overdone in like the past five and

a half months has just been the need to put animals

and hunting animals in the games. It makes complete

sense in the regards to this game because you're

completely in survival mode here and you're fending

for your life constantly with very little resources.

Well the bow is all, it's like people have been

calling it the year of the bow. Yeah. Yeah, and

wolves. And the interesting thing that me and

Andy were talking about this at work today is

the fact that they kind of, they took something

from Dark Souls and implemented it incredibly

well into this game. The fact that your checkpoints

in the game are campfires. And when you get to

your campfire, that's when you can Upgrade your

skills and upgrade your weapons and do do the

the Weapon augmenting and and build up all the

all of your stuff But you can only do them at

those checkpoints and they're all campfires,

which is something that they did in Dark Souls.

Hey I guess I'm struggling to see what what's

the difference from that from just going into

like the Any upgrade thing in any game because

most of them are like a point. I mean It's but

and then you can fast travel between all of your

campfires also Which is kind of nice I? Guess

I'm I guess I Just the way you described it.

I don't see the difference between that and the

way that Far Cry 3 handles you know you fast

travel between depots and That's where you do

all your upgrading and stuff. I just is it because

it's around a campfire Okay, I'm done. I'm going

home. I'm just I'm just wondering why that sticks

out when I just thought it was an interesting

Thing I guess it's not that interesting to you

the master of all gaming. I'm just I'm just asking

a question I don't know why is it so questionable,

but I'm just trying to find out what what makes

it different than that like like Whatever. I'm

not I'm not knocking you. I'm just I was just

asking a question That sounds like you're being

bitchy to me. Okay. No, I don't know. It's really

different. It isn't, I guess, unlike anything

else. I just thought it was an interesting take.

I like how they overlay the button commands also,

and it's hard to describe. If you've seen the

videos, you kind of see how they do it. But the

real time events are, it's kind of interesting.

By the way, if you're not a real time event fan,

which most people I don't think are anymore,

they pretty much get all the real time events

out of the way in the first like 10, 15 minutes

of the game. And they're pretty much nonexistent

after that. Is it that does it play? I'm just

going back here real quick. So I'm trying to

find the like the basic. Is most of it contextual

like? Like like Arkham Asylum is or Assassin's

Creed is it most like a lot of like push button

to win games now Where everything's kind of contextual

you walk up to one object. It's always the same

Like one button does all the same thing just

depending on where you are most the square the

square buttons kind of like the environment interaction

button in the game Okay, is that I I'm sorry

am I answering your question correctly? Well,

it's kind of like I'm guessing like I'm guessing

there's no Combat and stuff like okay, so there's

the there's like long -range combat with the

bow and you mentioned the the pick Yeah, but

is there like any kind of like hand -to -hand

type stuff? Like is it I haven't noticed any

at all There's like the circle buttons a scramble

button So you'll like go down on all fours and

kind of like strafe to the side Kind of like

a duck and strafe Because that's trust me you'll

need it when you come across the wolves You got

to get down to their level No, it's more so when

they lunge at you if you don't strafe They will

tackle you and start eating your face off. Okay

The Was gonna some like just cuz everything's

kind of fresh in my mind if there's like I don't

really have a lot of answers for things just

because of the fact that it's There's been more

questions than there's been answers so far in

the game It's all right. I just you know I'm

like I said I'll go pick it up. We can talk about

it again next week. Yeah You got anything you

want to add we can move on to Sean Z Nah, we

can move on to Sean Thanks Like Um, almost I've

been catching up on my battlefield getting ready

cuz the next DLC drops next week or the last

DLC drops next week rather Which I'm excited

about cuz it adds capture the flag Which well

with the vehicles, it's gonna be pretty crazy.

Oh, I think I played that once with bag company.

Mm -hmm And it's it like especially they're adding

dirt bikes and stuff really fast Vehicles that

don't really have any cover So sure you can hop

on a motorcycle and sprint across the screen

really quick, but if anybody's in anything that

has a gun You're up shit creek yeah, we can have

like people right in the back though, um, I Downloaded

the newest DLC for Mass Effect came out yesterday.

I was gonna play it but instead I felt like busting

my ass so Haven't downloaded as I haven't bought

a single DLC for that. Yeah, they're all good.

There's no bad ones I know one of those things

that I think I was kind of waiting for all of

them Yeah, as I'm gonna last one I honestly think

the DLCs for Mass Effect 3 will probably be the

last DLC anything that I buy on 360 Nice The

last one comes in two parts actually it's two

separate DLCs suit two separate downloads nice

I'm assuming it's because of size because all

together. It's like yeah on the 360 because all

together. It's like four gigs Nice Well, so been

doing that Every once in a while. I'm popping

out of playing the model warfare 2 because you

know I'm hip and current like that yeah And finding

out how bad I suck and cuz you sold that you

traded in the new one you moron cuz I'm a trader

Um Screw you I've been trying to I got one of

my buddies who's plant who plays Halo 4 I've

been trying to go through the Spartan Ops It's

a pain in the ass though Yeah, are they fun?

They're old. They're for they're plenty fun,

but I've said in previous podcast as I can't

search for random people For old episodes only

the current one that's going on. Oh, that's right

So it's so it's just us and I don't want to play

thrown easy because I'm not a pussy Mike. What?

What? What? I recently. Easy. No, I'm just I'm

just calling you a pussy in general. Oh, not

come now. I recently went out, I found a used

copy of Marvel Ultimate Alliance, so that's got

to get played pretty soon. The first one. First

one. Yep. You actually had to go find a copy

of it? I don't have mine anymore. Mine got crashed.

I was going to say, those things literally fall

out of the sky. Did you shake your couch cushion?

Yeah. There is common to find with changing your

couch. Well, yeah, but like whenever I'll see,

like, oh, they have three used copies. I always

look at the disc first and I'll be like, no.

So I finally found a good one, one worth the

five dollars that are turned in. I got to go

pay, so I'll be back. That's nice. You can keep

talking, I'm sure you won't suffer anything that

I care about. Wow. So, anyways. Now I just gotta

find the second one, because I've been trying

to play through good multiplayer games with my

girlfriend, good co -op games, and that's one

of my favorite co -op games of all time. I understand

how Ultimate Alliance works with couch co -op.

Yeah, I'm wondering how it works with. Online

co -op like I've done it, but does it are the

character like if you host the characters and

their levels are from your game. Right, like

all the other like or I I pick the same host

mean you're hosting game. OK, you have access

to your characters. Oh, I have access to my characters.

Oh, well, yeah, we should definitely play so

like we could. I don't know if you can overlap

though, like I don't know if two Captain Americas

can be in the same party at a time. Well, I'm

not worried about that. I think I took all the

characters to the max. Oh, yeah. I've played

it before, and the last time I played was years

and years and years ago. I was playing with this

really cool guy. He was like very much into it.

He's like, Captain America, get him. He's like,

fuck your names. You're who you are. Get him,

Hawkeye! My my friend and I that's one of the

first 360 games I ever had We went into the danger

room or whatever it is and I think we did the

second or third mission repeatedly And leveled

every character in the game to level 50 or whatever

it was and then we started playing the game So

we were super overpowered from the get -go killing

things in one hit just having a grand old time.

Yeah, it's too much fun. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

Like, I think we should all play that again soon.

Sure. I'm up for now. Now we have. Yeah, right.

I mean, I'm assuming the server is still open

for it. So. Oh, I don't know. Well, I think they

just use Microsoft, don't they? I don't think

they host their own. Oh, no. We'll find out.

So Anything else um that's pretty much it well,

I think Before we go to on the break here real

quick I Talked I pretty much talked Ali into

getting a PlayStation 4 as well instead of the

next Xbox So you guys are both playing ps4. Yep

That seems necessary Well, if we're gonna play

a multiplayer game it is Yeah, like what if they

get Borderlands 3? Okay, what if they get a game?

Yes destiny? I'm gonna say right now There's

no fucking way. I'm buying Borderlands 3 after

this DLC bullshit Yeah, I Ali and I've been talking

about that's gonna be such an uphill battle Anyways

we could talk about that on next week's show

Hey, Randy Pitchford, you're an asshole. They

didn't even wrong me with Aliens Colonial Marines.

I didn't go out and buy it thinking it was going

to be awesome. Yeah, that's not even the game

that was on my radar that I wanted. They didn't

even wrong me, but that, along with their DLC

for Borderlands 2. The last six months has really

just been a bummer for you, for them, huh? Yeah,

well, it's been a black eye for Gearbox. Did

anything ever come with that? I mean, Sega's

got to be laying into him, right? I don't think

I don't know. I haven't heard if there is anything

happening. Nobody knows what's happening. I just

know that Gearbox has gone back to peddling shift

codes for Borderlands 2. Oh my God, every time

I look on, it's like you can have five keys.

I think I think John said he was up to 50 golden

keys. I stopped caring about shit. Well, since

we have all the legendaries who I don't even

care anymore. Do we still have one more BS DLC

to get through before the good one comes out?

There's one more free DLC and then they're going

to release a character. Free? I paid 30 bucks

for this garment. Well, one of them is free.

Well, one of them is free for everyone, I think.

Yeah, it was four DLCs for the price of three.

Was the season pass offer but the But then there's

gonna be another character which I'm actually

interested in the character because it means

I get to actually I get to play the main game

again But the the level like I'm so I I'm I don't

know if I'm more mad that they did it or I'm

more mad that I I called that they were going

to do that shit I The DLC you know the level

cap that everybody wants is they're gonna make

you pay for it again and I I don't know It's

gonna be such an uphill like and at that point

there's gonna We're gonna have destiny like it's

not even that it's gonna be an uphill battle

for Borderlands 3 They're gonna be competing

against bungee and destiny like yeah, what a

mother of all multiplayer. Yeah, how And they're

in Destiny's is even more MMO than Borderlands.

Like, how do you? I'm just. But holy is GameStop

pushing destiny. Yeah. And I don't think I'm

I kind of. Was it even coming out this year?

No, it's next year. Yeah. Doesn't seem like it'd

be a decent on this generation game. Seems like

a far better next -gen game. It's on all platforms.

Yeah, so basically the Pussified versions of

the games will be on the Xbox and ps3 and then

the you know actual game will be on Yeah, but

you don't have any problems with those You still

want to watch dogs Yeah, we'll see So all right

well we're gonna take a break We'll come back

on the other side and we'll take a look at Portable

Gaming Part 2 Brought to you by Danner At the

start of the episode you heard Fiasco by Benjamin

Dumsa You'll also be listening to Atrophy at

the break here You can find Benjamin at www .bennydoom

You'll find many music videos there and his music

tracks there for you to listen to. You can also

follow him at Twitter at Benjamin Dumsa. I'll

spell that out for you. It's B -E -N -J -A -M

-I -N -D -U -M -S -A. Please show him some love.

He's showing us plenty. Welcome to part two of

our evolution of handheld gaming. We will be

looking at the next wave of handheld games from

the game .com all the way up to the Nokia N -Gage.

Part two, an advanced tiger is about to engage.

Oh, this is going to be so bad. Oh, it is. So

in September of 1997, Tiger Electronics, who's,

you know, known for releasing a bunch of single

release kind of gaming handheld systems, decides

to get into the handheld market themselves, and

they release game the game com or also known

as the game dot com um... released on the uh...

the market at the low low price of seventy dollars

uh... game com was one of the first systems you

have a two game two game slots on the system

the system also had a uh... modem that it plugged

into uh... that you could go Online and grab

get games for the system 14 -4. Whoo. Yeah 14

-4. Holy cow. I'm sure those uh, those games

were like 128 megabytes or something. God, I

would hope so That was probably the memory internal

memory on the gamecom was probably 128 megabytes

at that point The Gamecom targeted older gamers

that they felt the Gameboy didn't reach and failed

miserably due to the lack of games. They only

had 20 and very poor marketing on Tiger's part.

It didn't really reach its target audience at

all and after a Wondrous three years on the market

completely failed in 2000 shut down all production

a game comp Why does this look like something

you'd find in a blister pack on your way out

of like Rite Aid? I know it doesn't it just like

every other tiger handheld ever made Because

I mean it even looks like it comes with solitaire.

I don't know why this thing didn't sell I know

because everybody loves solitaire I think they

had a decent amount of like licensed titles for

the launch. I mean for God's sakes They even

had Resident Evil 2. I mean, what do you want

to play Resident Evil 2 on? The game con you

can't play Resident Evil 2 Period. I think the

modem is actually bigger than the council laws.

It looks like it looks huge That seen that I

don't know for some reason you brought the modem

for this and all I can think about is X band

Please tell me I'm not the only one that remembers

X band I am I don't think I want to know what

X band was. Oh I thought you would actually know

what it was X band was a modem for the for the

SNES and the Yes Yes. Yeah, I had that. I did

Doom. How do you buy anything, would you? My

parents would buy me anything. It's good to see

it's carried out. I did, I played Doom and NHL...

94 or 5? Trying to find it on here. Oh, 95 or

96 was supported. It was actually kind of, it

was interesting. It was like my first... You

know the first time I ever went online with a

game, so But anyways that was just a side note

because it just I don't know I saw that modem

and just made me think of 14 -4 And I was like

oh X band So it's really sad because I think

the system would have you know really taken off

if It didn't suck well I was gonna say there's

two games that that Metal Gear Solid and Castlevania

Symphony in the night were cancelled before the

The system died It basically saw the sales for

the system. He goes you know what let's not give

you the rights to these games And you guys can

go fuck yourself. Well that still happens now.

Hello, Raymond Yeah Oh on a side note since we

didn't I've totally forgot I have gotten rid

of my Wii U and traded it for a Vita and nobody

But after the last time we were on the show,

Sean's reminded me of something. He specifically

said, I'll never sell my Wii U for a Vita. And

then he does it like three days later. It was

a Sony press conference and me. Yep, I got what

I paid for it, so whatevs. Some stupid idiot

used one for full... I feel bad for whoever bought

that. You know, I sent it to them in the original

box, all packaged the way that it came to me

and everything. I mean, I don't even know. Yeah,

but I still don't know why. Like, I was surprised.

I was like, holy cow. You're expecting like somebody

to be like, like messenger or something to be

like, I'll pay you 300 or something for it. Yeah,

but whatever. Anyways. Dumbasses. They obviously

don't wake up. It's valued at all. So nothing

right now. Anyways, on November 17th, 1998, the

Game Boy Color by Nintendo was officially released

for $70 .95. I never had a Game Boy Color. I

didn't either. It was the the first backwards

compatible handheld system, though. Yes, it was.

Wasn't it just didn't they just like slam a Super

Game Boy and a Handheld cart like a into a handheld

size That's how you could take regular Gameboy

games and put them in. Yeah, but I'm just saying

like yeah I'm just saying like the colors it

wasn't it wasn't like They're more the colors

were more super Gameboy weren't they I wish Joe

was here. Yeah, they they were Because with the

super Gameboy if anybody remembers super Gameboy

you just take the Gameboy games Put in your Super

Nintendo, and then you could like a tweak the

color scheme for the games, and then play your

Game Boy games on the... It was a really dumb

concept. That's why I never bought one. I was

smart enough to steal it from my friend and never

return it to him. I'm sorry, borrow it from my

friend. Without asking, and never returning.

I'm not gonna lie, if I go up to my closet upstairs

right now, it's sitting in my closet. He's like,

I don't want it, but you still can't have it.

They did it again with the Game Boy Advance and

the GameCube. Yeah, I Had a gameboy Vance play

for my game cube. Yeah, I know you're both gonna

hate me for saying this but gameboy color was

the last gameboy ever owned Cuz yeah, like I

just Never got much into handhelds after for

that. Oh wouldn't advance. I thought everybody

in their mama owned in advance. Nope Hmm played

a few never owned one. So apparently this is

more than just color they actually the insides

were different too yeah yeah it was a lot smaller

although i mean like thinner and more powerful

well i think they had to because rezzing those

adding those colors would put more strain on

the battery so they had and two double a batteries

instead of four four i don't want you the pocket

the pocket weight The original was four and I

think the pocket was three and the color is two

and they stuck with two for the advance also.

Well I think that was as much as they could cut

it down without... Yeah. Just put one in play

for ten minutes. Gameboy Pocket was four double

A's. It was four double A's? Yep. I thought for

sure that they... Oh wait, wait, wait, wait.

He's trying to read hang on folks No, it's I

that was the Gameboy light the Gameboy light

had four double A's. Yeah Wow, I Shouldn't have

done this So Mike just butted in without actually

having any It was two triple A batteries two

triple A batteries two triple A's. Yep. Makes

sense. It is a pocket No, I I the Gameboy pocket

was my favorite game boy So there it's the only

game boy that could fit in his skinny jeans,

yep, I Was so offended the micro Yes, oh You

actually tell me got she I would I'm not gonna

say it cuz it's gonna be wrong. Never mind I'm

gonna know you're saying it. I Used to attach

you to the zipper on my pants. Oh Boys can come

up to it and just wow By used to he means yesterday.

Oh Technically past tense. Well, I want to go

pick my kids up from school. No, no now people

just point and laugh at him. So Wait at his crotch

or at the game. I'm sorry. You got can I'm lost?

Are you laughing at the size of my micro? Yes,

and also your game boy. Oh Nice sick burn I Have

my moments. Don't worry. I'll probably say something

really stupid here in like the next five minutes

So does anybody have anything disparaging to

say about the the gameboy color? I'm more about

it today than I knew about it before well there

we go so of all the gaming That was probably

the most comfortable to hold just cuz it was

smaller But still big enough that it wasn't cramping

your fingers. Yeah, it's about all I remember

about it I just I mean, I always thought it was

the same thing just with like a the, you know,

with a crappy color screen. No, it was a slightly

less crappy color screen. Yeah. Well, they had

more color. It still didn't look great. I just

remember that it was no longer green on green

or white on black. It was. Color, color, white

on black, nice interracial. Nice. See told you

five minutes wasn't wasn't even I gave I give

myself a five -minute grace period so they do

next this is a color thing August 6 1999 neo

geo pocket color by SNK is released on the marketplace

for $69 undercutting the Gameboy color you know

I guess color was a big thing huh yeah it was

there was a lot of color issues then Is that

a stick? It was a 16 -bit and the last system

that Essengate ever produced. It was backwards

compatible with the Neo Geo Pocket. Pocket! It

had a joystick! Yep. Wow! It had a joystick.

Which I don't know if it's the first one to ever

have a joystick on it, but... I think that's

the first one we've seen. First one I've seen.

And that puts it ahead of... Everybody everybody

no one else put a joystick on their stuff until

Not even that just a few years ago was it wasn't

the PS well if you count the PSP's little the

Vita had yeah that The PSP has the nub PSP is

the nub. I wouldn't These are terrible. Yeah,

I wouldn't call that an analog or a joystick

It's gonna say that what they've done with the

Vita is gorgeous, but we're not talking about

the Vita today the The screen on the Neo Geo

pocket color however was not backlit So games

would only could only be since seen in well lit

areas I Remember seeing this ad somewhere And

then the Neo Geo pocket color also required two

sets of batteries two AA batteries for the system

itself and an optional CR2032 battery to retain

memory backup and keep the clock active on the

system. I was gonna say probably one set to turn

it on, another one to keep playing. No. It also

had the ability to link systems together and

it came with a link cable. So did the game. Seems

the Game Boy color in Game Boy, you know again

popular by the that Pokemon game again This looks

like something you'd find in a blister pack,

but yeah, you know looking at it You could also

you could say the same thing about the Game Boy

now I know but it's just they look so chintzy

it does and unfortunately the only thing I know

about SNK is the fact that they make those terrible

fighting games and people like Those King of

Fighters or SNK versus some Capcom whatever Regardless,

that's all that they've good to see after all

the things they did with the Neo Geo The only

thing I remember them for now is really terrible

fighting games Okay So yeah, that's the Neo Geo

pocket The Wonder Swan which Number one, awesome,

awesome name. Because nothing, nothing screams

I'm a teenage boy and I want to play handheld

system like WonderSwan. Yeah, but you're not

saying it in Japanese. WonderSwan. Wow. Yes,

that's how the Japanese speak. They just say

English words or orably racist accents. Well,

at least... Shitty walk. Shitty walk. Shitty

walk home my shitty ball. The WonderSwan Color

was released for $59. Now the interesting thing

about the WonderSwan is it was created by a gentleman

who we've already talked about multiple times.

It was created by the Kodo company which is a

gun pay... Company and he designed the game and

watch and design the game boy and the game boy

color Yeah, it looks like he lost his mind with

these designs. I know Slowly, but surely what

the oh my god. That's like how are you supposed

to hold us? The word to go out the system is

that I had a really heavy third -party support

from Square and Capcom So it got a lot of support

it was it was this it was actually the wonder

swan that made me Get rid of my gameboy advance

Really it was all that the it was when they had

that When they announced all the Square Enix

support. I was like ah shoot Well, that's interesting

considering the fact that it only came out in

Japan and it was never released in the United

States Yeah, but they were backing it. I was

worried that I would never see Chrono Trigger

or Secret of Mana on a system and I was like

and I was kind of because when I will talk about

this in a second, but when I when I think we

will but When I got my gameboy advance one of

the things I was you know They were re -releasing

a bunch of Super Nintendo games on it and I was

really hoping that Square would jump on that

bandwagon with like Secret of Mana and and Chrono

Trigger re -releases and when they when they

announced that they were you know supporting

throw it all their weight behind the WonderSwan

I was like wow now I'm never gonna see it now

I don't need this system anymore so um but yeah

that that that was like and I know it never released

here but and I probably never would have played

this just looks ridiculous you know the the WonderSwan

the WonderSwan you know what it looks like and

this is gonna Really sound completely insensitive,

but I've already crossed that line tonight. I

was drawing of a goddamn Gameboy No, it looks

it looks like the retarded cousin of an etch

-a -sketch I'm gonna just catch Understand how

you hold it It's like if the Etch A Sketch banged

the fry girl at McDonald's, it would look like

this. Oh, hold up. Hold up. You can't throw all

McDonald's fry girls in the same bag. Wait, why?

Really? They don't get thrown in a bag. The fries

get thrown in a carton. Anyways. There's more

to this story. More on that later, kids. I'm

guessing who comes to the defense of McDonald's

fry girls. It's a Hollywood Babylon reference.

Anyways, so that's the wonder swan. Joe would

probably have more to say about it. The majestic

wonder swan. I don't know. Even if it came here,

I don't even know if I'd buy it. I don't think

I can actually go up to somebody and say, hey,

I have a wonder swan. But it can be played vertically

and horizontally people people call the cops

and call you a perv Large a very large. Okay.

All right, it's advanced large Okay, so the the

buttons are x1 x2 x3 x4 y1 y2 y3 y4 a B start

in sound How is the Get ready for the QuickTime

event. Is there a sound? There's a sound button?

I'm guessing it's like a mute button? So there's

only one volume for the whole? Or maybe it's

one of those ones that you press it once, it's

like one, two, three, four, zero, one, two, three,

four. It says volume button of the Wonderswan.

So to turn it down, it has to blow your ears

out first. Yep, sounds about right to me. Okay,

moving on. On June 11th, 2001, the Game Boy Advance

by Nintendo was released for $149 .99. I was

first in line at Best Buy, at my local Best Buy

for it. I don't... I'm trying to... I don't even

think I owned a Game Boy until... a Gameboy Advance

until me and Janelle went on a car trip with

my parents to Colorado. And I'm like, I fucking

need to do something in the car. I'm like, I

need something because my parents are going to

drive me absolutely insane. And so I went out

and bought me and Janelle both Gameboy Advances.

I think this was the last time I ever bought

a white electronic. I racist bastard. Well, no,

that's that's wrong. I bought an iPod. We get

a grape. We get a grape colored one. I remember

that much. And then the the one that's pictured

there, I don't even know what technically color

that is. It's like that transparent light blue.

Color frost, frosty. I liked the Game Boy Advance.

I liked Advance Wars. That was my first chance

of playing one of those games. And I had Tony

Hawk Pro Skater 2, which was actually a lot of

fun. And that's one of the first games that I

was actually really interested in the system,

because they were using like... Like a better

version of Star Fox they were still pushing polygons,

but they look like really retarded sprites Yeah

It was it was I had a lot of fun with the system,

but like I said as soon as I saw that EGM I was

working at Babbage's And as soon as I saw that

that article And EGM or whatever it was that

was there I was like, okay, that's it I'm done

and I traded it all in that I didn't get another

one until the SP. When I got mine, the first

game I bought for the Game Boy Advance was Golden

Sun. And I played the crap out of that game.

That game was a lot of fun. Yeah. I think that

was the only thing I really ever played on the

Advance was RPGs. That was literally like my

RPG system. Because I didn't know I bought the

Final Fantasy re -releases on there. Secret of

Mana. God, what else? It was Legend of Mana.

No, Sword of Mana. Sword of Mana. That's what

it was. Sorry. I actually enjoyed that too, because

they went back to more traditional Secret of

Mana style gameplay. Actually what made me buy

there it was Metroid fusion that actually Metroid

fusion was awesome. Yeah, I think that's the

one that made me Say I need an SP And Legend

of Zelda minish cap was badass on that system.

Yeah from Konami Yeah Well, it's because everything

every Zelda they got released on the Gameboy

advanced was um a It was Link to the past with

it was like new new maps linked to the past because

it was the same art style Everything and link

the past was my favorite Zelda game So it was

awesome when they would put Zelda games out on

the Game Boy Advance because every single one

of them looked felt Exactly the same as linked

to the past. I also liked zero mission The yeah

the Metroid remake zero mission was good, too

I remember sitting in college before film class

was about to start, just sitting there playing

Metroid Fusion the entire time. What's interesting

about this though, and I was thinking about this

when I was playing, when I was contemplating

the Vita and holding it in my hands and what

not, I don't know if it's because the Advance

was bigger or I'm not, or maybe it's just because

I was, I don't know. Smaller. You know, I was

like 21 22 when it came out like you're still

a developing young boy. Hey Yeah Thanks asshat

no, I welcome I I feel like The Game Boy Advance

I could be I could be completely wrong. Maybe

I can We I can revisit this. I saw a lot of buildup

I remember the Game Boy Advance being more comfortable

to hold than the Vita And I and I've been I've

been quite like contemplating this since I since

I picked up the Vita I'm going home done. I'm

not knocking. Okay? I'm joking, but I Is is back

then stuff didn't have to look pretty and like

they made it more feel in your hands But like

the Vita there has to be some aesthetic pleasure

to it. It can't be Bumpy and stuff. I don't think

it's that I think honestly, I can't I think it's

because And again, I have only spent a week with

it. I have I have nothing bad to say about the

system yet. I'm just and well, I'm still playing

with it. And like I told Danner, if the PlayStation

4 handles like even half as well as the Vita

does, then it's already better than the PlayStation

3. So I but I'm saying like I can't. I'm always

like where do I I'm always trying to figure out

Constantly while I'm playing a game no matter

what game it is or what you know what it is if

it's uncharted or or stardust or Anything on

there. I'm like where do I put my hand my fingers

because there's the back touch And I know not

all games use the back touch But I'm constantly

like I don't want to touch it because I don't

want to do this Yeah, I don't want to do I don't

want to do something Also, I could think about

is this entire conversation if you take the words

Vita out and just put I know right But I'm just

like I'm constantly sitting there like how do

I how do I hold the damn thing cuz I Alright

moving on You know what? I just remember with

the Game Boy Advance being able to grip it. Grip

it real good. And the Vita, I just I don't know

what to do because I'm afraid it'll just go off

on me. Make a mess everywhere. You just. It was

better when you weren't trying. You need to choke

up on it a little bit and just, you know, don't

be afraid to touch it. OK. All right. It's not

going to bite you. OK. Might spit, but it's not

going to bite. The thing I do remember about

the advance is how it felt. It did feel a little

more substantial than some of the other systems

and didn't feel terrible the whole. I just remember

I know when I got my SP how I hated how close

everything was. Because I did I did like the

layout of the events it felt good to hold and

to play But like the SP just felt for as much

functionality as you traded it for Like you got

so much by upgrading to an SP, but it just felt

so dinky I think yes, I think the SP and the

DS have I Bring up those two because it's not

about the two screens I think they've spoiled

me for the the screen in the in the in the object

over like a clamshell thing so I don't want to

go too far into the DS because I have a lot of

things to say in regards to that but I'm gonna

hold it until two weeks but like but like the

SP like I well okay we can just talk about the

SP this way with the SP I would use that I would

like that when the screen was flipped up that's

how you're playing it right well that would like

my finger like that that back part would rest

on my fingers like it did feel cramped but the

whole system was being like it was like cradled

there and like this the the game boy advance

i like that because it felt this in my hands

it felt the same way as a super nintendo controller

felt yeah which kind of fit right in you didn't

have to adjust your hands yeah and the sp felt

more like a classic game boy but because of the

way the system was it was like i was cradling

it then and my hands are able to sit at more

of a natural angle to play and see the screen

at the same time. And the DS is that same way.

When I'm playing it, I'm cradling it because

the screen is resting on my fingers, which are

pressed against the shoulder buttons. But we

can talk more about the ergonomics of stuff later

on. It's one of the things I've been trying to

wrap my head around with the Vita. gotten immersed

in anything because I'm so focused on how I'm

holding the damn thing. So then you're playing

it wrong. I agree. You're thinking more about

your hands around the system than the game in

your hands. Yeah, I totally agree with you that

that assessment. But I did go out and buy a nifty

little accessory for it that actually turns it

into more of a game style controller. I really

do want it. Like when we see each other next,

I want to try that out because that actually

looks like I don't have it basically like candles

with it. But. what you bought, I was like, huh,

that could actually be kind of interesting. It's

15 bucks at Best Buy. You can actually go and

pick the thing up. Like in the store, it looks

like a chintzy little accessory because it doesn't

even come in a box. They just wrap a piece of

cardboard around it with like the name on it

and stick it on the shelf. Well, that's how I

buy everything. But it's made by PDP, who makes

a lot of video game accessories. And they it

fits really snugly on the device and it adds

grips like sort of like, you know, palm rest,

I guess. And it makes the shoulder buttons into

triggers. So it puts them at more of a instead

of it being up on top, they're at more of a comfortable

angle. And it's it feels really good. It has

this rubber texture that's got that, you know,

that rubber on the lip. Yeah. But it's still

soft and it's it's it's nice. It makes it a lot

nicer to hold. So I've been but the again. The

whole back touches there and I'm like, I don't

want to throw a grenade. So, you know, talk about

that more later. I'm just trying to throw. Because

you've never thrown a grenade accidentally. You

know, but I've never done it by touching something

like a press like a button. No, I've pressed

a button touching press. OK, every time I touch

it, I throw a grenade to. Wait, we're talking

about systems still. Yeah, I was going to say

like totally penises. All right. You want to

side talk your way into the last one? Yes. October

7th, 2003. Nokia decides to release N -Gage for

$299 .99. Reasonably priced. Reasonably priced

in the cell phone market, not in the current

handheld market. Hybrid of both, massive of none.

Yeah, Nokia was under the impression since all

gamers were currently carrying cell phones. and

like a Game Boy Advance, they're like, why don't

we combine the two? What resulted was a gaming

cell phone that was both unusable for both functions.

It was a piss -poor cell phone and a piss -poor

gaming system. And who happens to have more buttons

than the Wonder Swarm? Yes, and and also nice

enough to introducing us to the term is side

-talking I owned an end gauge and let me back

that up by the I was a store manager at GameStop

and We had leftover end gauge stock and they

decided that they were getting rid of it and

wanted it all out of the store and thrown away

So instead of throwing it away, I took one of

the systems and then took 20 games to also go

along with the system. And I played two of them

and I go, oh my God, this is really fucking bad.

And then I gave them all to Joe. I traded Joe

an end gauge and all 20 games. For a hundred

and twenty gig hard drive for the Xbox 360. That's

fair. Yeah Okay, let's see you got it for free

and you still didn't get your money's worth,

huh? Yes, so all right Legitimate question here

was it a bad handheld because it tried to be

a phone or was it a bad handheld because It was

a bad handheld Okay, is a bad handheld because

every single game that came with it was a cell

phone game that you could have downloaded on

any other phone with basically the exact same

quality at that point in time in the cell phone

gaming market. Hey, man, do not knock Lemonade

Tycoon. Every single one of the games on that

system looks like... X -Men Legends? X -Men Legends

2? Yeah. But. Wait, that did well enough to get

a sequel to a game? X -Men Legends? X -Men Legends

and X -Men Legends 2 were both incredibly good.

Yeah. No, no, I mean on the N -Gage. Oh, well,

they probably released both at the same time.

You know what? Let's take a look at who published

most of these games. It's Activision and EA.

They don't put them on anything they could possibly

get them on. Call of Duty. But like the the games

were like. Red Faction was one of the games that

I played and had for the system. And it looks

exactly like, um... It looks like everything,

every single game on the system, in my opinion,

looks pretty much like what Minecraft looks like,

but squished under some zippler pants. What was

that noise? Like... I moved, it was my belt.

Okay, sure it was. Um, but it's like super, super

pixelated. Okay, and just really really poor

quality What's the name of the game? There is

a game that came out with that system that they

remember them pimpin like something terrible

It was like Ryzen or something like that. It

was that war game. Wasn't it? Wasn't it? I Just

saw it on this list path to glory no Oh My gosh,

well, this is all getting cut out. Maybe maybe

I'll get cut out if I'm not lazy I Forget about

we get to rely on you actually not being lazy.

Yeah, I know or playing Sim City. Yeah. Oh my

god Every single racist comment Well, all your

shits getting left in so that's fine. I don't

care what people think of me Wow clearly, I mean

look at his face ha You're a piece of shit, you

know that I'm aware you tell me constantly I

know I don't want you to get too big of an ego.

I Want to keep you down. What was that war game?

it's Pathway to glory wait Tom was spooners all

cast there. What? Am I swear I saw the game.

It's like whatever anyways That's so weird. That

was Nokia's... Within 17 days of its release,

popular retailers like GameStop and Electronics

Boutique began offering $100 rebates on the DEX

price. Poor sales performance... 17 days. Poor

selection of games compared to its competitors

in cost of launch. I don't really think it was

selection of games. I think it's how fucking

terrible everything looked on that damn thing.

That screen doesn't look very pleasant. No, it's

not it's dinky, too It's literally the exact

same size as a regular cell phone, but you have

this giant They probably took a cell phone on

screen and you have this giant plastic taco that

you're trying to play on Then imagine trying

to side talk into the taco Interesting about

the end gauge is the fact that it kinda For as

failed as it is it was kind of the starting of

the stepping stones for cell phone gaming It

was just you know, it's ahead the idea what not

to do a Lot of social aspects which you didn't

really see in even console gaming at that point

in time, which was the fact that You could hook

up with people make a phone call in the contacts

list and if your other friend had an engage which

was highly unlikely You could send friend requests

and then play online and that multiplayer war

game that Mike can't seem to figure out because

it's called pathway to glory Which I've said

three times, but he ignores me so for some reason

I thought there was one called brothers and brothers

and arms or something like that You mean the

gearbox war game? Yeah I wasn't ignoring you.

I was just for some reason. I thought it was

the brothers brother -in -arms. I thought he

knew better than you. That's what it was I'm

pretty sure it was pathway to glory and then

they had a sequel of pathway to glory the Ocoosa

Islands. Oh, yeah So I also play the super monkey

ball on that system and super monkey ball is

fun No matter where you play it and no matter

what system you play it on except from the engage

Way to go engage way to stand out way to even

make monkey ball suck, which I didn't think was

possible So I like I There's not a single fucking

positive thing I can say about this system it

was literally the It is literally probably the

lowest of lows when it comes to handheld systems,

and it was just such a Great example of what

not to do for I mean smartphone devices Because

man this thing sucked like it didn't just suck

a little it Really sucked to be honest. I don't

even think I still don't think that Mobile cell

phone gaming is all that great well big cell

phone gaming is all that great either, and I

don't I can't get into a book, but I For the

the person who's a gamer gamer I Don't think

cell phone gaming's are ever going to truly quench

That that gaming need yeah um It's something

you play for like five or ten minutes once or

twice a week just to kill time when you're, you

know, waiting at the DMV or something. I don't

know about that. I see what you're saying. But

what I'm saying is I don't think cell phone gaming

that especially with the way cell phones are

going, I don't see on screen buttons replacing

physical buttons. Like, like, you know, I don't

know if you've played a game on the on your phone,

whether where they put whatever it's a traditional

game and they put like a virtual d -pad on the

screen and virtual buttons fix it felix yeah

i i can't play those games i need i need to actually

feel the button and that's kind of my thing too

as i don't like the virtual feelings as we're

looking at the ps4 with this touchpad in the

center um so i mean i just i agree that like

i Like, having control, I think that's why, you

know, for me, the Wii wasn't as much fun because

I don't really want to use my body. That's why

the Kinect kind of fell flat with me also. I'd

just meh. I'd much rather have a stricter sense

of control over what I'm doing. Yeah. So that

is part two of the handheld gaming expose. The

Dark Ages. The Dark Ages. In part three we will

be talking about the PSP versus the Nintendo

DS. Wait, we're pitting them against each other?

It's pretty much the only two that are left before

the big knockdown dragout. 3ds Vita versus cell

phone gaming Yeah All right, I was gonna say

there might be some other handheld game systems

in there and I'll look into it But I can guarantee

they're not gonna be something we're gonna spend

a whole lot of time on right All right. Well,

they're gonna be those other ones are about as

useless as an end gauge This is true Well for

off the cuff Portable Gaming Part 2, I've been

your host as always, Michael Powers. You can

find me on Xbox Live, PlayStation Network, Twitter,

and also Origin and Steam. I'll just throw those

out there too, for the hell of it. He just wants

more SimCity friends. I just want more stuff

for people to not contact me through. Yay! BoothNinja81,

Daner? You can find me on Twitter at art Danner

You can also find me on Xbox live at weapon 12

You can also find me on PSN at X 51 the machine

man and also remember on Twitter to look up Benny

doom Who provides our music for us? Yeah, I've

been Sean see you can find me on Xbox at weapon

87 Which is better than weapon 12 just in case

you're wondering I'm so like I can't live up

to your that's why I don't even play 360 anymore

I just I can't even try it on that system Yeah

anyways, you can find me on Twitter at at Sean's

Iran and That's a I mean It looks like you're

going to be able to find me on PlayStation Network

come next console generation. Yes. Play those

games with you guys. Jesus. I just I don't know.

We can talk about it more as it gets closer.

I just I'm still having trouble seeing what Microsoft's

going to bring to the table. So. All right, so

until next week, when we get into current gaming

news, I've been your host. Have a good time.

You've just listened to Off the Cuff on the Geekcast

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next time, unleash the geek in you. We try to

get through it as fast as we can so we can go

back to playing video games And actually I just

fucked that up This week on off the cuff. Oh,

yeah We try to get through video games Okay,

you just want to start and start again this week

on off the cuff We try to get through this podcast

as fast as we can so we can go back back to blah

blah someone else Uh, you want me to do it? Sure.

Okay. Not much, how you doing? I'm okay. Losted

my ass a little while ago. That was your fall.

Oh my god. You fell? Oh, leash. Okay, so I'm

jogging through the woods, right? And it's like

it dips down like the path dips down and then

goes up So I like sprint it up as soon as I hit

the top my right leg slid took my left leg out

I flew for about five feet and landed right on

my hip just fucking laid myself out. Oh Nice

Yeah, it sucked but from what I was told it looked

really funny It's falling always looks funny.

Oh my god Especially when it's Sean Z. Yeah Dude,

I like I like fell in it hurt for a bit and so

so I got up and I went got finished the trail

Came home and then I was like I sat down then

I went to stand up my whole right leg. It's just

messed up sweet I'm sure I'm gonna have a gangster

walk way at your wedding What? We'll get you

keen. It'll be awesome Okay, don't joke about

that if it's not gonna happen Okay, I'm just...

I can always get you a stick and just say it's

a cane. What are you watching, Daner? Wrestling.

Instead of playing Tomb Raider? Well... Did you

try it out yet? Trust me, I was about three minutes

away. If nobody showed up, I was just gonna say

fuck it and just start playing Tomb Raider again.

How is it, by the way? Nope, wait. It's go. Oh,

okay. Yeah, don't go in. All right. Excuse me.

Could he cough a couple more times? Thank you

so much. I didn't quite hear you. No, don't do

not do it again. I will hang up on you. Oh, that's

not nice. That's one way to get to go play Tomb

Raider some more. Yeah. My coughs are more manly

than that. Hey pops, I got a case of the black

lung. Okay. Oh man. Way to not be able to hold

your piss for five minutes. I'm sorry, I had

to go. That's what bottles are for. I didn't

drink way too much water tonight. We can talk

about this next week again when we talk about

current events, but is anybody else excited about

Assassin's Creed 4? I'm super excited. So am

I. Um, remember how I - Remember how I said about

the pirates how? Three made me feel like a pirate

and I was doing them the water missions and any

game that could make me feel like a pirate is

awesome And now the next I think they listened

to our podcast like because now they're making

a pirate one The rumor is is that they were developing

for and they were enjoying the the boat stuff

so much that they put that into three they threw

it into three to see if how while it went over

as a test for four and due to the fact that most

people said that the boat thing was the best

part of the game they were like okay we're we're

good with four i the one question i have is it

went out the window um but you see we've all

seen the trailer right the wait which one the

the the trailer the The one with Blackbeard.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have the other one

that just like showcasing what's his face. That's

really that's nothing. There's it's it's just

it talks about the Edward. What's his face? The

main character. OK. Connor's grandfather. Yeah.

I. Like watching that video like, OK, you watch

the you watch the video for Watch Dogs and you

see that. And then you watch the trailer for

Assassin's Creed 4 and Granted we all know that

internet video is not the same same thing as

seeing it on your TV like off the console and

I'm honestly, I'm kind of Kind of worried at

this point because I don't I'm gonna say I'll

just come out and say I don't think that there

was gameplay in that trailer What trailer in

the Assassin's Creed 4 trailer? I didn't for

one second even think that was gameplay Hey,

there were a couple of times where I did think

it was gameplay because every single bit of that

a video to me it a Lot there were certain scenes

in there that looked like they came out of the

watchdogs gameplay demo Like the way the textures

the way the textures look the way the characters

look I And it just got it got me to the point

of thinking of the point like It's gonna be weird

when it gets that when it gets to that point

where you can't tell what's gameplay and what's

not Now I mean do I think it's gonna look as

crazy as that no, but again if the infamous footage

was all in game footage They just use a dramatic

camera So I mean that was all that was all gameplay

in the second Sun trailer But it looked like

a cutscene so I'm just kind of I'm just kind

of getting Getting a little geeked about the

new stuff is really what I'm getting at so and

it was Assassin's Creed 4 that pushed that pushed

Ali into the the PlayStation 4 so She likes those

games Then she was like I said you can get it

on October 30. She goes no I don't I don't want

to play it out. I want to play it on the new

stuff So yeah, that's what I'm like. I'm so I

don't know what to do. Like, I mean, I'm waiting

for the release dates of the next gen, obviously.

But it's like, oh, do I want to try waiting on

the long and risk certain things being spoiled

for me and. Oh, did you see the thing about Peter,

though, or Petta or whatever about the whales?

The whale made me laugh. Leave those whales alone.

They're fucking polygons. Yeah, first game I

shanked like 700 elk There was a there was a

funny tweet about how the Someone said that they

agreed with what PETA was saying about attacking

giant bloated creatures And then he was like

enough about Assassin's Creed though. I Thought

it was pretty funny So yeah, I'm excited at that

game as soon as I saw that trailer it just looked

like something that I you know the characters

just seem more like something I wanted to play

and um after that on my on my launch list as

well so all right Dan or whenever you're ready

okay you sound so thrilled super thrilled tired

I just don't suspect this is going to take very

long since Joe's not here Yeah, right. I mean,

who's gonna, you know, provide the ming noise

for the console, the handhelds turning on? For

as awesomely terrible as that sounds last time.

The pause was so better. Anyways. This is gonna

be a bloodbath, because I am unfamiliar with

most of these. I think it's gonna be very Game

Boy Vans heavy. Yes. Okay.