Marvel Netflix Cancellations and Film Adaptations Discussion

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be sure to do that. So without further ado I'm

going to go right to Part two of our conversation

on the feature presentation with DJ Valentine

And now our feature presentation The other thing

that I thought would be kind of interesting is

the fact that we get a bunch of canceled shows

on Netflix Which kind of seemed like it would

never happen. Oh my god. Yeah it's funny because

It's just a matter of time before This Disney

played Disney flicks, whatever it's called Comes

out. Is it a bad thing that these shows are getting

canceled? Is it a good thing? Cuz I'm assuming

it's gonna pick them up. But I know this have

they have this big old thing between The marvel

church church and state tv and movie situation

between kevin feige and ike pearl mutter and

jeff lobe They're not they're not best of friends

as you were. That's why you don't not getting

a lot of connections anymore But it seems like

if disi play is coming out. They're gonna just

pick them up, right or We don't even know if

iron fist And luke cage did well. We don't know

critically. We know But ratings -wise, downloads

-wise, we have no idea because Netflix doesn't

release that stuff. We have no idea if Luke Cage

season two bombed, Iron Man season two bombed,

we have no idea. So canceling it might have been

because it didn't do shit for them. Or canceling

it could have been because Netflix is spiteful.

We have no idea why this is happening. Yeah,

that's the only thing that's really weird about

Netflix is they don't have to account to anybody.

Yeah. They're their own master. They're like,

we have our own ratings and it doesn't matter

what you have to say. But you gotta tell, I love

when people are like, but you have to tell us

and everyone's like, no, no, we don't. They're

like, it's our ratings. We don't share them with

everyone. Share them with you? Kick rocks. And

it's bad because I'm in the middle or a little

bit past the middle of Daredevil season three

and it's excellent. And Punisher season one,

I thought was So good and it as I watch Punisher

season one when it ended I was like and this

is me I'm greedy at all times if it's good I

want more but Punisher season one ended in such

a good way I was like you don't need to make

anymore. It was it was such a perfect ending

You didn't need anymore. But now they're making

a season two. I'm kind of interested but I'm

scared now because I'm like, oh, I don't want

it to be bad. I Don't want them to mess this

up. I think they got the perfect casting I think

Netflix other than Finn Jones for Iron Fist has

cast these shows so well like Matt Charlie Cox's

Matt Murdoch visit D 'Onofrio as Kingpin is Probably

the most unsung Comic book casting of all time.

I think his care if you watch these ever watch

the season 3 he is Frightening like I don't get

any hero and any kind I mean closest I can think

of is maybe Heath Ledger's Joker But he said

he ledger's Joker was entertaining like because

he's the Joker he's fun, but he did something

He's there was always that switch radio. Look

at me that stuff where you're like, oh my god,

that's you know But there is no point in daredevil

season 1 Daredevil season 2 and Kingpin makes

a little bit of a cameo and this season Where

vincent an obvious kingpin doesn't scare the

shit out of you. There is no tongue in cheek

with him You don't know when he's going to just

erupt and kill you or just Do the little smirk

and i'm gonna kill you in a different way. He's

chilling So yeah, it's the show is so good jessica

jones season two Yeah, that was sort of I don't

know if you saw that was sort of really good

and then it just Bombed at the hit. I did not

like that season, but those are the three that

I think there's if they cancel Jessica Jones

next There will be an uproar. That's why I don't

think they're gonna cancel the shows. There will

be an uproar about that yeah, it's it's kind

of gonna be interesting to see what they do just

because They recently, you know canceled iron

fist they canceled Luke Cage They canceled Fuller

hose I think they said they're not gonna make

any more defenders and it's probably why because

they're cancelling all these other shows They

cancelled orange is the new black. They cancel

wars. I didn't know that they cancel wars new

black. Yep Wow, I didn't watch it, but I'm kind

of surprised because I know it had a I Stopped

season two. I think of the last season I saw

but I know I do you write it had like a huge

following it's cancelled after its Current seventh

season. It's its final season. So And then the

house of cards is ending now. This is their final

season for reasons where which we are aware But

we get more crap shows like the real world and

you know other other shows coming back Lethal

weapons going away What do you think about that

show like I just like I thought I talked to Mike

Blanchard about this They don't I I don't think

they understand what what Martin Riggs is, especially

on the TV show. The thing about Lethal Weapon,

the movie, is that Riggs is the lethal weapon.

That's the whole purpose of the title. He's not

like a fumbler. He's not clumsy. He can't stop

not killing people. He keeps killing people.

He's a danger to everyone around him. But they

portrayed it on Fox as if he was just like, oh,

I just crashed a car, like the demolition man.

You know, there's a difference between John Spartan

and Martin Riggs, and the Fox version of Martin

Riggs was John Spartan. Martin Riggs is essentially

a psychopath who's trying not to be a psychopath

anymore. That's why I got out of the first, the

first lethal weapon, he's... Great, he jumping

off buildings shoot me mark murtaugh puts the

gun under his his chin and pulls and rigs pulls

the trigger and murtaugh has to stop the hammer

from going off because he's a psychopath and

the arc from that to the fourth one is that oh

he learns to reconnect in society that was the

whole purpose but the What's his name? Clayne

Crawford? Yeah He's he was not He didn't get

rigs to me. He didn't have this the the psycho

part that Mel Gibson. He had a little bit of

it. It's just that he played it more in the fashion

of like a Charlie Sheen or like a William Shatner

type of like he was playing lethal weapon for

Martin Riggs. I want lethal weapon one, lethal

weapon two Martin Riggs where he is murderous.

Remember in lethal weapon one where he's going

through the nightclub and he's just snapping

people's necks. Who's fucking next? Like that's

less Riggs. That's the that's the rigs I want

where he's chasing after cars and leave the weapon

too and Shooting a guy and saying the cops that

they're dead's name as he fires bullets in it.

That's Martin Riggs He's not a bumbler When is

Martin Riggs been a bummer except for in the

fourth movie? They even in the fourth movie when

he's fighting gently that was lethal Martin Riggs

That's what they I think they've they messed

it up I think if they would have put that on

FX and they made like a gritty cop show and I

don't think clean Crawford was or was the better

version of that. Yeah, I think they would have

had a better show. I like Damon Wayans in it,

too, though. He was pretty good. I mean, I kind

of see like where neither one of them are really,

I don't know, fit for it. They're definitely

like a TV watered down version of it. Yeah, I

think. I don't know. It does seem like a bad

idea. It's almost like this Magnum PI show that's

out right now. It's just kind of like... I guess

the guy who's playing Magnum PI is trying to

capture the... the charm of Tom Selleck, but

it's hard to capture the top. Well, you can capture

stuff from the 80s. It's really difficult. Really,

really. Like if they were to do an 18 TV show

and they try to do the movie and it was kind

of like, eh, it's certain things work for their

air. I think Magnum PI could work now. You got

to really cast well. And I've seen the pilot

episode of that show and the only person I think

they cast well was Rick. The guy who plays Rick

is pretty funny and I remember Rick being pretty

funny guy plays TC's It's like, you know a Casablanca

is it's not really he's not really delivering

anything the other than the I fly helicopter

That's all he's done. That's all he's done. He

doesn't the pilot I fly a helicopter But the

guy who played is Jay Hernandez who plays Thomas

Magnum. He's just like, you know You gotta be

charming man. You gotta get that charm. You gotta

be you gotta you gotta have like Timothy Oliphant

comes to mind when I'm thinking of Like a charming

guy you can get for TV But not jay her Jay her

nan did you I? Michael Pena would have either

probably been more charming than Jaron and Jaron

is is very just staticky He's not like, you know,

oh look at that guy. He's funny. He's Because

that's what Thomas Magnum was He was a charming

guy who would went over the ladies and you know,

you're getting himself in the situation He was

he was essentially Indiana Jones Cuz he was going

to be in the angel. Yeah, I don't really get

that same You know, I think I'm kind of on your

boat with not really getting that vibe Mmm for

the for the actor for that show Yeah, I think

I like what they kind of do with Higgins but

it's kind of like are they just did they did

they cast a woman as Higgins merely because they

wanted Have romantic tension between Thomas and

in the Higgins because that's the case didn't

know if she she's just there because she's you

know It's a cool take I'm for it But it seems

like those in that episode are doing it because

they wanted them to have some sexual chemistry.

I'm like, no No, no, no That's not what this

shows. That's not what the relationship between

Higgins and Thomas Magnum has ever been or ever

should be Should have been like they were reluctant

friends that they started off as enemies and

they become friends not lovers Yeah, I don't

know Some of some of the adaptations of older

properties I have a hard time with Watching them

like I didn't really have a problem with with

lethal weapon for the most part. Although when

they killed Rigs off I was a little Peeved on

that and then they they got you know American

pie To join up which who is he playing on that

show? Is he just a different character? Is he

related to rigs? He's not even related. He's

they they took the Have you watched all the playful

weapon? I? Stopped after season one. I saw all

of season one. Okay, so you don't mind if I spoil

it. No. No, I don't care Okay, so it's over anyway

So anyways, yeah, it's it's it's picked up for

two more episodes for Damon Wayans, but they're

not getting another season for obvious reasons.

Riggs father gets capped by, I think, Riggs and

they. Riggs has like a long lost like half brother

and just walks up at the end of the season finale,

just shoots him in the chest, kills him. I was

like it because the first episode back they had

Murtaugh like mourning him for like six months

or something and then You know cuz he died in

the hospital and I was like really the dude jumps

off like a skyscraper He does all this other

crap and he gets blown away by a gunshot to the

chest And this is I mean they could they thought

the best way to handle the Clay and Crawford

Damon Wayne's Beef is to kill off the title character

of the show? Yeah, and the funny thing was is

he was... Can this recast them? Recast them!

Well the funny thing was is they were gonna give

him his send -off like the character at the end

of the episode they had two routes they could

have gone like I didn't see that coming and any

of the you know they could have done it in a

way that he was supposed to go off with his new

girlfriend who had a son and He was saying his

good by Brewster the Jordana Brewster was his

girlfriend. I thought so I thought that no it

wasn't her she she was the Psychiatrist right

right, but she was mourning him too in that first

episode back I Forget who they had playing the

the actress but anyways They were gonna have

him have a send -off and go back to Texas and

Then he gets blown away. I was like you couldn't

just let him go home like We're Fox we need a

twist. Yeah, and so like and so the first episode

back then they bring in this Wesley Cole who's

like an ex like CIA FBI Who something bad happened

to and he would he had a traumatic thing and

so he he ended up going to the police force and

Working with you know Murtaugh so that it was

I don't know. It's kind of it's a totally different

vibe It's it's not to say it's that it has nothing

to do with the movie anymore. You've killed off.

It's like It's like having a movie called Mad

Max Fury Road and you kill off Mad Max. It's

like, well, what do we watch? It's a completely

different show now. Don't leave the weapon. And

then Damon Waynes is like, I want to leave the

show because it's just I'm diabetic. I don't

want to deal with any of this anymore, you know,

because like I guess the way the set was set

up, like he would work for long, long hours and

not get any break to like eat or just, you know,

take care of his diabetic issue. So he's like,

I'm done. I'm going back to stand up and spend

time with my family. And so they're like, oh,

the show's done. Isn't he? But he's showing up

on a different show as his son's show. His son

has a show and he's supposed to be playing his

father or something like that. So he might have

just been saying that shit because he just wanted

to fuck out his contract. He's like, look, I'm

tired. I want to go on stand up. Nah, I just

want to get out of this. I just want to get out

of my contract. It's probably because he just

doesn't want to do anything that's grueling and

like long hours. Right, right, right. So but

yeah, I don't know. I'm kind of like I'm just

going to watch it until it rides its way out.

And then I'll be like, OK, it's done. Has there

ever been like a good adaptation of an 80s anything?

I'm trying to think they had the. No, if there's

that one out there, let me know because I'm trying

I'm trying to think of a good adaptation of an

80s property there hasn't been like a Simon and

Simon or or Anything like that a Magnum not a

not a 18 not a anything like that Unless it's

like revivals of old shows from the 80s to the

90s that we're on Yeah, that's really all you've

got going on, but it's with this original cast

I mean you don't have really a complete reboot

from something that's from the 80s. That's been

halfway decent We're gonna get a gritty Webster

aren't we we're gonna get a gritty a Gritty different

strokes is gonna come we're gonna get we're gonna

get a now the world don't move to the beat of

just one drum Gritty Doogie Howser He's a doctor

he's underage and he's under here You can't give

him a scalpel he's only 17 Oh Wow not now I'm

into that he may be elsewhere murderer in Automatic

in Hannibal Lector. Oh Doogie has a welcome.

Welcome to my surgical room He almost sounded

like Stewie from from Family Guy. They didn't

get into my my surgery room. You know I almost

put like a Scotty on it. Oh Wow, dude now Take

old take old 90s shows and give interesting spins

to them now. I'm in I'm into a serial killer

a Dexter Doogie Howser. I'm into that We we did

something like that on an earlier episode of

altered geek funny enough. I had Birdman Dodd

on and We were talking like creating your own

your own shows basically And I have this this

card game and it's it's basically you pitch your

own fake movie right and we were going back and

forth and We we pitched a basically you take

John McClain and Oh, man, I can't remember his

name right now Eddie Murphy's character from

Beverly Hills Cop Axe of Foley Axe of Foley and

and we were gonna put him in like an 8 -bit world

What was the name of it 8 -bit heroes and and

they were gonna have to Basically fight their

way back to reality So this is kind of like Mario

Brothers, but it's a Mario Mario Luigi Mario

you have Axe of Foley and John McClane basically

It was the most ridiculous thing in the world,

but it was so funny because we were like, okay,

how do we do this? Hello, Mr. Foley. Hello, Mr.

McLean. Welcome to my 8 -bit world, where I'll

be earning 30 % on the beach. Where Disney owns

everything you see. Everything you see here,

Mr. McLean, is owned by Disney. I'm owned by

Disney. You're owned by Disney. The FBI is owned

by this. That's funny. You could do that so like

spot on. It's hilarious. It's funny because I

can't do I haven't I don't I'm not a huge Harry

Potter fan because people do Snape. I'm like,

I don't know any lines from Snape. I know Harry

Potter. That's all I really know. Mr. Potter

is it is it. I rather this I rather do him in

love actually than fucking Snape. Or Prince of

Thieves. At least I didn't use a spoon. I'd rather

do that than frickin... I'm a Slytherin. I'm

a Slytherin. I don't know anything about Harry

Potter. Zero. I know Harry Potter always loses.

That's all I remember from Harry Potter. We did,

in that same episode when we came up with the

8 bit heroes, there was another one where it

was like something with... It was basically like

a puppet world. Okay. I don't remember anything

about it, but it was called Puppet Work. Like

I don't know it might have been like a puppet

pimp or something like that It was just like

the most ridiculous thing in the world and then

future shock 1942 or terminators go back to the

year 1942 just did like raise hell pretty much

That's what sucks about happy time murder is

kind of bombing because yeah remember that movie

that came out this year. Yeah That nobody's like

five people saw is that I thought that was an

interesting concept putting like puppet like

muppet characters and like R rated movie That's

what we got the Kermit die hard thing is because

I thought that was really funny. I was like,

man, imagine like Muppets alien or Muppets predator.

I've been awesome, but you'll never get that.

Oh, because happy time murders fucked it up for

everybody. Hasta la vista, baby. Yeah, that's

awesome. You get gonzo as a frickin, uh, which

we call it as Blaine. I don't have time to die.

Bleed. I don't have time to be great. Great,

but they can't you can't do it. Thank you Melissa

McCarthy for ruining the Potential of muppets

and our rating kit features. Thanks. Thanks very

much Yeah, it yeah, I Had no intention like that

movie just looked dumb it I mean I've seen like

ten minutes of it and I was just like It's gonna

handle a little bit torture. Yeah, it's like

a it's like a five minute Ejaculation joke which

they have in the trailer. This is like mmm Yeah

This is rough But yeah, I don't know it was just

a lot of that goofy crap That's what we were

screwed around with and I pretty much would just

give him the scenario and just let him run with

it And then see where it would go God now I want

to see actual can you imagine John McClane and

Axel Foley having a conversation out of been?

I don't think John McClane would have time for

Axel Foley. I have a feeling like Axel Foley

would just kind of keep showing up like, hey,

what's going on? And John would be like, I've

got to dive off a falling apart bridge and grab

a helicopter. Look, I don't have any shoes on

right now, okay? Can you give me a break with

your Detroit Lions jacket? I got to jump off

a building, okay? They've got my wife. They've

got Holly. And Axel would just be saying, you

know... I gotta go to Wally World. I gotta go

to Wally World. Oh God, you bring up Beverly

Hills Cop 3. Holy shit. You bring up the black

sheep of fucking Beverly Hills Cop. I like the

first one where they, you know, they do the thing

with the takeout. The first one's gritty. Yeah,

yeah, the first one's gritty. The second one

is Tony Scott. You got the top gun director doing

the second one. I like the second one. Probably

the best. See, what's funny is that's the one

I remember the least. Oh, Brigitte Nelson's in

there. We have to go back and rewatch it. I can't

killers. Yeah, man, and the guy from Robocop

I think is in there. I forget it's freaking them

I'd have to look it up. But yeah, yeah that the

second the second one I think it Chris Rock makes

a cameo It's pretty good. It's pretty good. I

think the first one is way more Gritty where

it's just like, you know die hard It's very diehard.

I think I think that was written for Sylvester

Stallone if I remember correctly playing Axel

Foley, but they got Eddie Murphy instead, which

I think who could you I can only imagine what

the hell fucking Beverly Hills cop would have

been with Sylvester Stallone. I guess it would

have been Cobra. I guess that's what it would

have been. You're the disease, I'm the cure.

That would have been Beverly Hills cop. That

would be actually hilarious, but I'm glad it

turned out the way it did so you had the nice

comedic timing of everything you know and him

throwing the food in the exhaust pipe and you

know It's not a food. It's a banana You have

to say the banana in the tailpipe. You're not

gonna fall for the banana I had somebody do that

to me once except they shove the cucumber in

the tailpipe of my truck Wow the only difference

was it shot out Like it like exploded after it

hit out It was cucumber in the tailpipe isn't

it doesn't have the same comedic ring to it cucumber

in the tailpipe not a banana That's perfect.

That's a super fit Ronnie Cox easy. He's the

police chief in them or he's lieutenant lieutenant

Boggami that was his name Baccamil Boccamil,

I don't know. I just remember Ronnie Cox from

Robocop That's all I remember. But yeah, I don't

know, I... I enjoy those films. I enjoy a lot

of the stuff from the 80s. They hold a special

place. No, I mean, Die Hard is the greatest action

movie of all time, so... I agree with you. You

know, I'm never gonna say a bad word about Die

Hard. It is essentially my catnip. If it's on

television, no matter what part, I have to watch

it. It's almost like naked gun is like I must

kill the Queen. I must finish watching this die

-hard movie I cannot turn this off. It's like

police Academy for me. Oh see We did a bunch

of commentaries for police Academy and supposed

reviews podcast and boy. Oh boy We regretted

that decision after part one well, we actually

went through all the police Academy movies on

one of our podcasts and Stopped the citizens

on patrol. We couldn't do Miami Mission Miami

or the hell that was called we couldn't do it

from Russia with love Whatever the other ones

called we stopped at citizens on patrol citizens

on patrol wasn't too bad Yeah, it was better

than we did one of them was bad I think was three

that was really bad not bad as in awful bad as

in boring Because it was essentially all the

same jokes done worse from part one and two So

it's kind of I I think one was I think one might

be the best one I think one is the best one was

the best but I enjoyed four because it got The

lieutenant back for or captain Harris Harris

back for no more shit. Yeah that guy Mouser was

just terrible. He looked like a knockoff William

Shatner He does look like a knockoff William

Shatner. He was in an Andy Sedaris film, and

we were doing a commentary on an Andy Sedaris

film. I cannot remember which one it was. It

might have been Malibu Express. And he showed

up, and we were looking at him, because he looked

a little... I think he had a mustache. And we

were looking at him like, I know this guy. Where

do I know this guy from? That's freaking Mauser

from Police Academy. So yeah, other than police

Academy in that and he said there's some I don't

think I've ever seen him in anything else Has

he done anything else other than that? I don't

know like I know Harris is still in stuff Harris

was on arm the closer for a very long time. Mm

-hmm with Keira Sedgwick I remember that the

the fifth and sixth and seventh movie were just

terrible to me But that's because it was missing

part of its principal cast. Yeah, you get rid

of Mahoney. I'm out Yeah, that's that's that's

what I was like. All right. I think this is on

patrol because Mahoney was that was the last

one Mahoney I think was in with Sharon Stone

and that we're like, yeah, that's that's enough.

That's good enough. We're good. And there's only

like six cast members that are still alive. Oh,

yeah. Tackleberry died. The bubble bubble. Oh,

man. Well, I know I know the the Lassard is dead,

I'm assuming. Yeah. What is it? He was on Punky

Brewster. He was the foster dad on Punky Brewster.

I mean, you have you have the lady that was from

Sex and City is still alive, obviously. Kim Cattrall.

Who should have been Savick in Undiscovered Country?

Yes, we're bringing the full circle. Yeah, G

.W. Bailey, Harris. Yeah, he's still alive. Kim

Cattrall, Steve Guttenberg. David Graff tackle

there. He did die sergeant Callahan Leslie Easterbrook

still alive Michael Winslow still alive. Thank

God what about the the Asian guy that What's

your name was in love with what the hell was

his name? He I think he might have been in citizens

on patrol actually or was it part three guys

the police academies bleed together I can't I'm

trying to remember exactly There was an Asian

guy. He was dating the the bother me now. It's

gonna bother me. Yeah I think he dated Callahan.

I can't remember his name though. They could

be yeah, I got it was it was an Agata is he dead?

Don't know I'd have to look I I know Marion the

one that did the the low The real voice and then

when she'd get you know hands on the floor dirt

bag, you know Yeah, yeah that she's still alive

because a lot of them have done like really bad

b -movies I know I know Bloomberg wasn't he in

What was the name of that sci -fi movie? Volcano

Lanchella. It was like a like tarantulas with

volcanoes in them. Yeah, it was it was Lava Lanchella

Lava Lanchella and then he and then he was back

into lava to Lanchella Why is oh man? I thought

I imagined that I thought it was a dream. I remember

seeing it. Well, what's funny is Michael Winslow's

his like secondary cast member in that Oh, is

he? Yeah, he's back in that movie. Oh, I'm looking

at it. The whole cast of Police Academy is in

there. Hooks is in there. The one that played

Callahan is in there. Leslie Eastbrook. Yep.

Marion Ramsey is in there. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah,

they're all doing like B sci -fi movies. I'm

like, I want to watch them just to throw them

a bone. But like, I'm like, I don't want to support

terrible film either. I mean, it looks like it's

ripe for a commentary, but. I feel like he'd

be torturing. Yeah, yeah, it might be bad. This

is why we love Andy Sedaris. We do a lot of Andy

Sedaris commentaries because those movies are

awful, but they're so entertaining. They are

entertainingly awful where it's like, I don't

believe they've used a rubber dummy in this seven

frame shot as a person. To fall off a building.

I don't believe they did it, but they did and

there you have it You'll get through them because

you're laughing but some of these movies are

just boring bad when they're boring bad It's

the like where children at play we did a commentary

on and we did it primarily because we had seen

the end of the movie where Just YouTube the ending

of beware children at play it's as awful as it

sounds essentially as a bunch of children that

are murderers and the town gets revenge and kills

them and we've only seen the one shot at the

one ending of the movie where it's just the most

gruesome trauma like Murdering of a group of

children who are murderers, right? So maybe the

movie is just crazy in like balls out just like

this this ending and it's not it's Boring and

shit nothing happens It's shot horribly. You

can barely hear the audio It's only the end so

if you want to watch beware children plays save

yourself two hours of your life and watch the

last I don't know three minutes, and that's all

you need to watch I do that with a lot of b -movies,

and some people are great man, and then some

of her just so bad Yeah, well when they're sci

-fi channel bad. They're they're really bad,

but Just like sharknado for you know that when

You know you get Terry David Hasselhoff Gary

Busey Steve Gutenberg David Faustino You've edited

things so you know when David Hasselhoff was

on there. There was a shot where there apparently

Well, no, it's David Hasselhoff. It's very clear

that he's not in the same shot as everybody else

So all of his shots are close -up pointing like

like low -angle shots at the sky So they can

match it to where they're walking because he's

not they film their stuff First and I think David

Hasselhoff's got filmed in later if you watch

it again I think that was the one where he had

the chainsaw the lightsaber chainsaw in space

I can't remember he shot data movies are talking

about bleeding together But yeah, it's it's really

poorly done. It's some of them are some of them

are entertaining I think the second one was pretty

fun. I think that's one with Frankie Munoz Frankie

Munoz was in one of those It was funny, but like

I think as I've gotten along they've They're

aware of the fact that they're dumb, and the

jokes are now not as... The jokes are good when

they're... B -movie jokes are good when they're

taking it seriously, when they don't realize

they're bad. Sharknado realizes they're bad,

and it's like forced jokes, where it's like,

uh... Alright, I guess. Vivica Fox is gonna dropkick

a shark, whatever. They're like, I feel like

I got pantsed by my own movie. There's like a

robotic hand now and she's like Like half cyborg

at some point Well, when you see when you see

Hasselhoff and half his family and the same movie,

you know, it's bad I Am searing the most successful

member of the Beverly Hills now to a no cast

now, can you say that now? Because where's Brian

Austin green? I don't know Where's Dylan McKay?

I think he might be in it. You know what? He's

in the new Quentin Tarantino movie that's not

out yet, so he might super see them soon. Shannon

Doherty, she's recovering thankfully from cancer,

but she hasn't acted in years. Who else? I think

that might be it. There's nobody else on that

show that's done well. That seems to be the way

that things go anymore. Maybe if you're on a

90s television show, you don't uh, you know,

well, well, I mean you got Jenna I mean the friends

is doing all right. They Well, no, I'm taking

that cast. Oh, Jennifer Aniston is doing okay.

She's the only one doing okay Gertie Cox she's

kind of second place and then the rest of them

man. That's cuz the other ones have aged very

badly Yeah, what's what's his name? Uh Chandler

who was my favorite character on friends? He

he He's not doing nothing It's not doing anything

and then did Joey Tribbiani Yeah He was on he

was on that show on Showtime. That was pretty

good though. I and he was out hosting top gear

But I guess that's it. I think he quit from that

or get fired. Oh Top gear. I think so. Oh, man.

I think they don't kill. That's a good gig, bro.

Here's to American Yeah, we need a British man

driving these cars You know, even though half

our superheroes are British so Yes. Superhero.

Shit. Movie stars. Yeah. I mean, it's just about

British all the time. Oh, God. Yeah. Well, they're

about to recast him. I heard it's going to be

Jack O 'Connell. He's not American, I don't think.

I think he's British. No, he's British. I already

looked him up when I heard the news. I was like,

ah. That means he might be good. Spider -Man's

British. And he's the best Spider -Man we've

ever fucking had, in my opinion. I agree. I mean,

he's better than Abercrombie and... Fitch Garfield

yeah I wasn't a fan younger than Toby McGuire

who was 43 years old when he's making the first

Spider -Man so but you're gonna give it props

because it even though it was really bad it was

the first time Spider -Man hit the screen and

actually was halfway decent other than when you

looked at his CGI when he was flying between

buildings yeah you're talking about Garfield

yeah no I'm talking about uh Toby McGuire oh

yeah no I like Toby McGuire as Spider -Man he

was he was he was a great Peter Parker Just wasn't

a good spider -man. I didn't tell any jokes.

He was just kind of like, you know Golly gee

and Andrew Garfield was a better spider -man

than he was Peter Parker. Yeah. Well, I mean

he looked like I'm like this guy's supposed to

be a nerd. He has Like gel in his hair man. He

wasn't a nerd He's a poser. He's a poser man.

He's hipster hipster hipster Parker. I don't

like that one Yeah, the current one is is the

where it's at. He's right. He's he's hit and

I think he understands that okay I'm supposed

to be kind of a dork. That's where I need to

lean into And it works and it works. See how

it works when I'm a dork. Yeah, don't be Toby

McGuire understood that when I'm a dork it works

but when when Tom Holland puts on the suit he

Also, it's with the quippiness, which I think

it might be this attribute to the writers I don't

know because Sam Ramis is a funny guy, but I

guess he didn't really have a lot of script control

I think David Cope wrote the first spider -man.

I can't remember who wrote the first spider -man

with Toby McGuire But there's a lot of quips

in that first spider -man. I think I challenged

somebody I was like Name me ten jokes spider

-man says in the first two movies. Name me ten

in the spider suit. That is a joke the spider

-man says Doesn't happen. Yeah, I know I can't

even I I can remember me like Barely one or two

that that happened. I couldn't I couldn't quote

it but Yeah, that there were a few the best lines

in those movies were JK Simmons. So Jake What

are you gonna do with JK we're gonna do with

a J Jonah Jameson this Tom Holland one I'm getting

room rumors that it's CB's JB smooths gonna play

him, but I I think they should give JK his job

back Yeah, he's not gonna be Commissioner Gordon

anymore cuz that franchise is dead get old get

back get your ass back over here JK Yeah, we

need a good J Jonah Jameson. I Always said if

it can't get J Jonah Jameson get John C. McGinley

from scrubs people remember. It was a doctor

He was a He was Zach Braff's boss and scrubs.

Okay, he He was also an office because because

he was quick quick with it and I always remember

the scene in point break where he was the police

chief in point break you produce squat squat

I was like he could do a good J Jonah Jameson

but it probably won't happen because I don't

I think the perfect J Jonah what I don't think

anybody wants to come come near that role for

the simple fact that JK Simmons essentially just

owns it like you can't you're gonna be compared

to him immediately It's it's it's rough. I don't

know how they're gonna be able to do but you

need it You need a jay Jonah Jameson in the spider

-verse. I don't know if we're gonna get it in

the far from home I might they might hint at

it. I know they have them in the video game It's

gonna be very blusterous. I guess Yeah, I don't

know. It'll be interesting to see what they what

they do with the character once they they go

that route When they when they have that next

movie come out the Mysterio movie, which I'm

not a big fan of that, but you know. They're

at least touching on a new villain instead of...

Let's do Green Goblin for the fourth time. Why

are you wasting Jake Gyllenhaal? Jake Gyllenhaal

may be one of the greatest actors working today.

Make a place, get somebody inconsequential as

Mysterio. Jake Gyllenhaal, why are you wasting

Jake Gyllenhaal? That's like, I'm gonna cast

Cade Blanchett as Hera. Oh wait. Never mind I

take it back So is there anything that you'd

like to promote Oh We're doing a Halloween episode

coming up in the next we're gonna be recording

it on This the 24th, so I think it's gonna drop

on the 31st or the 30th. Hopefully God fingers

crossed We have a Richard Grieco commentary,

which I'm not sure when that's gonna come out.

It's probably come out right after the main show

It's good. What's the name of the movie we did?

I can't remember it was so bad If looks could

kill I think is the name of it And I think that's

it. Oh, we haven't the live shows gonna be every

I think it's every three weeks We do the live

show which is no script whatsoever. We just shoot

off the hip That's the only show that we do that

has no script. You have a bunch of we have a

sound board That's about the only thing scripted

Yeah, I I don't do a live show very often but

when I do it I'm like I gotta have something

to talk about I'm like, what do you got like?

We were talking about I come in peace and Show

download tokyo on our last live show So we we

go that we we've reached a gamut of everything

when it comes to the live show stuff I try to

cover various things. It just sometimes usually

luckily I get a lot of feedback for the for the

live shows and I'm able to to cover it and Depending

on who who the co -host is for that It depends

on the types of answers or the types of questions.

I I mess around with so Yeah, it's it's Something

I'm still experimenting with I know this I know

that it garners more attention than say download

Yeah, I mean live shows are fun. That's because

it's the unpredictable You never know where a

conversation will go kind of situation And that's

where the fun is Mm -hmm in craziness, you know,

I'm like traditional radio whether you know There's

rules and there's there's gateways and there's

I say I like control I like having control So

I can mitigate the disasters as much as possible,

but sometimes there's brilliance in insanity

and chaos It's just hard to harness it. I got

deep right there. Oh Yes. Oh, yeah Brave new

world has such potters in it. Mr. Potter, Mr.

Potter. Oh yes, I simply have a penchant for

intelligent conversation. Oh, another thing.

How do you feel about Fantastic Beasts and where

to find them part two? I usually know nothing

about them. Don't know shit about Harry Potter.

No, I've watched the original ones and I actually

read the first like six books When they when

they came out but like the Fantastic Beasts like

I know nothing aside from the fact that they've

got like Jude Law playing young Dumbledore and

then they've got Young Richard Harris. Yeah,

and then they've got Johnny Depp in the movie

and then other than that, I know nothing I saw

the first fantastic piece and I fell asleep and

that's rare if I fall asleep in a movie I saw

the Pirates of the Caribbean movie for the like

one of them for the third time that last one

was Bad. Yeah, I think that's the one I watched

in the theater like three times and the only

reason I saw in the theater three times is because

they were like the $2 show and the discount thing

at this particular theater and in our mall and

We went to the same one each time but the problem

was is we fell asleep halfway through on each

showing I don't blame you watching that last

part of the Caribbean's like watching You're

like one of your favorite athletes but like in

the when they should have retired like a year

before Trying to do something. It's like oh,

this is passes prime like way I think they're

still supposed to do another movie. Why? What

the what the hell could you squeeze out of this

franchise? There's nothing left Johnny Depp is

Jack, they've killed essentially Jack Sparrow.

Well, they've killed him. He's still alive. I

mean, they gave him back the black pearl. They

just killed. No, no, no. I mean, I don't mean

literally killed him. Figuratively, there's nothing

that there's a time where Jack Sparrow, if you

watch the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie,

Jack Sparrow was cool, man. He was cool. And

I think they lost track of what Jack Sparrow

was. I always. Always thought that Jack Sparrow

was a character that pretended to be dumb, but

was really really smart Yeah, if you watch the

first movie, that's what he was doing But if

you watch the first movie, then watch the last

movie realized although that just made him dumb

and lucky He's not dumb and lucky. He's he's

smart. So he plays dumb. That's what makes expert

awesome Well, and even the second movie he was

pretty smart right, you know collecting the You

know And he was kind of smart doing part of the

third one, too, where he's like, I've got a jar

of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's

inside it. There was one moment in the one with

Ian McShane, the Blackbeard one, where he's meeting

the king or something, and he sets up the room

to get out. And they do the same thing in the

third one, where he puts the... Not even a drip

of a glass of wine or a drink of wine that that's

the Jack Sparrow I like where he like sets up

the the army man and he puts the cannon over

there and he puts the cupcake on the table and

the stranger tides one that's a Jack Sparrow

like but in the last one he's just like oh I

guess I I fall on the stairs and things work

out for me no Jack Sparrow is supposed to be

like this cunning guy who's drunk all the time

but he's smarter than everyone and he plays Stupid

so people like take him for granted and then

they because there's that scene where he's like,

this is the dumbest He must be the worst pirate

I've ever seen and then he gets the ship He goes

he has to be the best pirate I've ever seen that's

Jack Sparrow, but they fucked that up. That's

gone now. Yeah Yeah, well and they kind of redeem

them it points throughout the other movies It's

just that it's not as prominent as that first

one. No, you know where he he Purposely plans

to get stabbed because he takes one of the coins

so that he can't die too Right. That's the first

movie where he was dope as shit in that movie.

He was just I don't know Yeah, I agree with you.

That was like they they had lightning in a bottle

there and they just couldn't recapture it. No,

but I think we're gonna close this out and Yeah,

so thank you for joining me on this episode No

problem, my pleasure. Sorry, Grover Bensky, sorry

for shitting on your friends. It's okay, I actually

still have to record one more Movie Weekend Review

episode to close out that spotlight. It's one

of those things that I'm just doing it because

I want to complete the spotlight more so than

it's, you know... Your completionist, I understand.

Yeah, I did the first three and it took me forever.

To do them and then I went back and I did I don't

know it was like a year or two later after The

movie I Think it was what was it? I don't know.

I think I published them all around the same

time It says I did them on the same year, but

I know that's bull crap Because I did the fourth

movie like two years after I did the third one

and I'm still, I just gotta do the fifth movie

yet. Blanchard's like, we finished the movie

we can review and I'm like, not yet, we haven't.

Not yet. I'm like, it has to be done. What are

you gonna do afterwards? After you finish it,

you're just like, what do I do with my life now?

I'll do Joker of the Caribbean. I don't know.

Oh, wow. Why is the rum always gone? And really

bad eggs? Oh, yes. Well, ta -ta. For now. For

now. I'll give you a rainbow connection. The

polite Megatron. Yeah, he wasn't so polite in

the Beast Unleashed podcast when I closed that

out. I scripted it out ahead of time and I was

like, oh tip your waitress and tap that ass.

And so like they just lost it. It's almost as

famous as that. When I one of the early ones

like episode six or something like that And I

only remember it because Blanchard still uses

that against me like it took a long Time for

him to let him to let that go and we did this

in like 2010 and he's I did They were talking

about Megatron being a purple dinosaur And I

said and I and I had you know, I love you. Shut

up bitch. I'm not done And so like they're they're

just like they were like what and then just start

losing it like during the whole podcast So it

was just it was funny. I never made the connection

that he is he is purple fucking dinosaurs No,

it's no who the answer puts about it. It's that's

a fact Tilly became a red dragon. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, yes Megatron has been a lot of things I

think he was a tank at one point. He's everything.

Yeah, he's whatever he needs to be to get the

job done. He's not the Decepticon we want. He's

the Decepticon we deserve. He truly is a robot

in disguise. An evil protector, a dark Decepticon.

Dad, why is Megatron running away? Well, son.

He sacrificed himself for the greater good So

that I may live another day Megatron saw a point

that cut at my family I was gonna go over the

Dark Knight in my head over and over Next time

catch it. Oh Boy We were doing like all that

that kind of crap and like a recent episodes.

It was funny That's how the whole thing with

doing the Grinch voice came along. So that'll

that'll be out next week Oh god, I can't wait

for that. That's gonna be funny. It just remains

to be seen how much sound effects I'm gonna put

in between it Mmm, it's the it's the it's the

audio bed under word that under words under it

that always usually nails it Yeah, if I'm lazy

that that'll depend on whether there's like background

music or not Which I'll probably end up doing

at least background music there might be sound

effects if I can ramble up just the right ones

Yeah, now that I got none. I got your Scott any

Matt's bones And I found the music that plays

when Spock dies. I think it's called Spock dies

or some shit like that. And it's the... I think

I've got those soundtrack. Yeah, I found it on

YouTube and I downloaded it. Now I've got to

queue it up because there's a... I'm like a stickler

for it to sound exactly the way it sounded in

the movie at the time. Like when we did the Die

Hard sketch in the movie, we did the scene with

Ellis and McClain and... Rickman or Gruber yeah,

and during the scene there the conversation is

like keeps cutting to radio voice To McLean voice

like like they're talking through radio, but

there's it's because it's audio you can't see

it It sounds like Matt will be talking and all

of a sudden it sounds like he's talking on radio

Because that's exactly how it cut in the movie

and I wanted to sound exactly the same way so

if you like watch the the scene from the What

the fuck is his name Ella scene? We lined it

up perfectly so every time Matt says the line

of dialogue that Ellis says, when it cuts the

radio in the movie, it cuts the radio on that.

That's funny. Those little things that I always

try and make it perfect. They're like, wait,

why does Matt sound like he's on the radio? I

go, if you watch the Ellis scene in Die Hard,

that's exactly how it sounds where McLean is

listening to Ellis talk to him through a radio

in that one shot, and it comes back. That's funny.

Yeah. That's why I'm trying to get with the I

have to put the muffle noise on on my Spock voice

because he's doing it through that fucking Radiation

shield shit, so I gotta find a muffler Danger

I had to like do it with my hand over them because

there's too much breath so I think I might go

away from the microphone and Are my pants still

on? The best part of that is when he stands up

and he fixes his shirt, he's just like, oh, sorry,

Captain's here, I gotta fix my clothes before

I die. Stand to attention. I stand to attention

here. Feel better? Captain on the bridge, bridge

on the captain. God, I wish I could do a, what

should we call it? What's his name? I did I did

a little bit of a Eric Bana in 2009, but I was

the height hi Christopher. I'm Nero that That

was like the most like awkward part of that movie.

I'm Christopher Pike after the enterprise. Hi

Christopher. I'm Nero He was just like the most

normal like sounding person in the world like

look Christopher I'm gonna I'm gonna blow your

fucking ship up. I don't care about all this

pleasantries. I I'm not acting here. I'm just

talking to you You look like he I like how Banna

played he was his various like I don't that time

look I'm from the future. You're going to die

Don't tell me didn't happen. I saw it happen.

I was told tell me you do I think he was doing

like a I think he was doing a Ford. I think he

might have been doing a Harrison Ford in that

role. Because band is from what, Australia or

some shit? Something like that. I think if you

watch it again, I think he's doing, you find

this man, you find, I think he's doing Ford.

I gotta watch it again. Now I really wanna go

back and watch that. I have that at my desk.

I'm gonna have to watch that now. So I hope you

guys enjoyed this episode of Altered Geek and

the second part of the conversation with DJ Valentine

and myself. Next week we have Mike Booth Ninja

Powers joining the show as we discuss smartphones

and some of the things with Apple and the Google

Pixel and classic gaming as far as like the gaming

pre -orders in the PlayStation and that whole

model. Old movies versus new, old and first new

in general. The DC Universe app and some podcast

interests. So until next time... Get altered,

get geeky with the altered geeks.