Phineas and Ferb: Crack That Whip and Best Lazy Day Ever

We'll give you the whole seat, but you'll only

need the edge! That's uh, but unfortunately...

Do what? You hit the mute button. That's just

so wrong. What? You hit the mute button, you

idiot! No, I went! Just now, you're sitting there

trying to tell me something and you hit the damn

mute button. No, I said it might cut out. Cause

I'm all the way over in the laundry room. Oh.

Get myself a fork. Why do you have a fork in

the laundry room? We've got a big box of cutlery

for parties. Okay. So it's like, you know, you

pick them up at Costco. So, but I mean, you know,

if you don't use all the forks and knives and

spoons and you just bring them back downstairs

and put them on a shelf. And I put them there

so I know where they are. So I come downstairs.

Come within across the other side of the basement

and grab myself something to eat. I mean this

uh It's a Fannie Mae Caramel pecan fudge egg,

it's about the size of my fist. Okay then carry

on It's over here! Vinius! Come on, Barry! Mom!

Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

Hello and welcome to Episode 18 Day 18 of Palka,

the podcast organization without a cool acronym.

I am one of your hosts, THO Joe and Mike. Joining

me is Pekonkrop Michael. Hello. Hey, how's it

going? It's going. Michael's eating some leftover

Easter snot. Snot, huh? This is a Fannie Mae

egg. This is a gourmet chocolate man. So basically

what you're saying is the Fannie Mae eggs are

the Faberge eggs of the candy world. There you

go. It's ornate and delicious and covered in

pecans. That sounds so wrong on so many levels.

So tasty. I feel like we're back on whatever

day it was that Candice went on her date with

Jeremy. Means we're on a date with Jeremy. Again,

so wrong on so many levels. So wrong on so many

levels. We're inside a giant chocolate egg, which

is inside of Lantern. So wrong. No! Today we

are gonna... Get to crack that whip, and we're

gonna have the best lazy day ever after this.

You wanna go down and embarrass your sister at

the park? Yeah! You got it, Candice! You may

be rusty, but you got it! Like, I can't turn

around or stop, but I got it! Look how jerky

skating here today! Does this helmet make my

butt look big? See? I told you Ferb was a good

skater. Oh, that's my boy! Hey, isn't that your

family? Yoo -hoo! Hey, Candice, jump in! I am

so not with them. Turn me around, Stacey. So,

Grandma, where'd you get the boots? Well, boys,

I was quite the skater in my... Watch where you're...

Betty Jo of the Tri -State Bombers? Hildegard

of the Saskatoon Slushers? I thought I smelled

the last of you back in 57 when I whipped your

sorry behind, took the trophy, and became the

rightful queen of the derby. Whoa. Grandma, you

were in the roller skating derby? Not only was

I in it, I was champ. It was years ago, the night

of the final match between the Bombers and the

Slushers. We were on our final lap. What was

left of my team used our signature move, the

whip, to send me to the finish line. Hildegard's

team had the team idea. The trophy was mine until...

You only won because you cheated! Anything goes,

remember? Well, what do you say we try it again?

Cheater! Anytime, anywhere! You skate like a

water buffalo! Hi, Jeremy. Uh, Candice, why is

my grandma yelling at your grandma? That's your

grandmother? Come on, Jeremy. You and your little

sister are on my team. Suzy! Yes, Grandma? Me,

you, and Jeremy are a team. Got it? So I need

two of you kids on my team, okay? Well, you can

have Phineas and Ferb, Grandma. I'm not - But

that's not fair, Candice. I actually have two

girls and one boy, so you need to be on your

Grandma's team, so it's fair. Because it's not

fair if it's two boys and one girl against two

girls and one boy, so you have to skate, Candice,

or else it won't be - So first up we have...

Crack That Whip. Betty Jo Flynn and Hildegard

Johnson have a roller derby rematch. Betty Jo,

Ferb and Candice against Hildegard, Jeremy and

Susie. But Candice is worried that if her team

wins, Jeremy might not like her anymore. Meanwhile,

Dr. Duven Schmertz is out to destroy a statue

of Rutherford B. Hayes, but it is plagued by

a terrible headache. Dun dun dun dun dueling

grandma's That was truly grandma's Grandma was

on a roller derby team versus grandma Hildegard

which You know, I didn't realize that roller

derby went back quite that far. I Mean is that

was it like originally like a 60s thing or a

50s thing? I I don't even know They do say it

was 1957, so... Alright, well, that makes sense

then, if it goes back that far. I don't know

much about the history of roller derby, but I

know that it's made a resurgence. And I know

people, let's say, who... Do I know people, or

do I know people who know people? Let's say I

know of people who are on a roller derby team,

locally. And they're always like, you should

come see us! I'm like, yeah, that's um, yeah

You know almost I can think of is Chris Klein

and Paul Heyman from 2000s rollerball Did not

see it 2002s rollerball I should say with LL

Cool J as well I'm sure I can find it for you

later. So we got doing grandmas. We all know

Susie is evil, but like her skating skills. Wow.

Talk about on like being on the cutting edge

there, Susie. Poor Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He has

a splitting headache from an evil mixer last

night. Wait, you have evil mixers? Really? Seriously?

I wonder what their Doing if this evil mixer,

you know, that's what I would really drink in

an evil mixer. I Don't know The last time I felt

that bad I was an evil mixer And we we mixed

up what they call the Mongolian mother God it's

literally ten different shots and Didn't make

make it with shots. I made it with like an entire

cup of each type of alcohol so we have ten cups

of alcohol and I want to say two or three cups

of fruit juice and It tasted kind of like Kool

-Aid and it would make the funny thing is it

would kill you You couldn't drink more than a

glass or two or you would die literally But yeah

the night after after Sampling a series of you

know trials because I didn't get it right the

first time I had to keep trying right But the

next morning it was awful. I felt just like dr.

Doofenshmirtz Couldn't move like I certainly

couldn't push a crate with a platypus in it I

need a quieter trap. Exactly. I need a quieter

trap. Okay, so. All right. You're done looking

up whatever it was that you wanted. No, okay.

So, grandpa, grandma, grandma, grandma Hildegard.

Right. Jeremy's grandmother. She's mama. Mama.

From mama's family. It's Vicki Lawrence. Oh,

you're kidding Nope Wow, that's funny. I did

not place that voice at all. I Didn't either

but how old is Vicki Lawrence now. She probably

looks like Hildegard I don't know how old she

is now my favorite Exchange of the whole episode

is Phineas and and and grandpa Clyde our color

commentator grandpa Clyde yellow green blue Excellent

color grandpa fly to oblige and we're back grandpa

orange purple chartreuse The color kind of tater

now I get it, right? I didn't get it before What

my favorite line? Was was way at the end where?

Jeremy or Candice is falling out of the sky Jeremy

catches her Ferb says good catch Jeremy and Candice

says he sure is It sure is. That's funny. Let's

see, what else did I like? Yeah, I like most

everything about this episode. The color commentary

was the interesting thing. From beard to bread.

I'm sorry, turning a statue of Rutherby Hayes

into bread is just like, what? Really? Come on,

Dr. D. Well, if you were folliculally challenged...

If you were a follicular failure, you'd probably

see differently. Oh, God. They really do find

interesting ways to get in really, really interesting

words of the day, don't they? Interesting verbiage,

yeah. Yes. It's a tie! Oh, Betty Jo's not gonna

like that. You know, I don't think it was a tie,

because Hildegard didn't actually have her feet

on the ground. She was not moving on her own

power and therefore could that have won? Yeah,

that's true. Yeah But they still have to do it

as a tie just you know so they can all agree

that you know it's for the kids and it was fun

and That we can get the whole cheater loser loser

cheater thing at the end there. Yeah Yeah What

else did you like about this one? I like Uh,

Candace runs in the backyard. The boys brought

the giant loaf of bread in the backyard! What?

Exactly. Like, what? And then the birds swoop

in and eat it. Yeah, the magpies. The magpies.

Why magpies? Magpies in season one here in Phineas

and Ferb have become a running gag, because at

one point, Perry was dressed as a magpie. Well,

no, that doesn't happen until... Oh, come on.

Tomorrow? Oh. Well, I could have sworn that already

happened, but between the magpies and the dunkelberry

bats, we've got enough flying rodents around

this place. The dunkelberry bats. I also think

it was that line from Doof and Schmertz in that

other episode. Never walk alone at night with

dunkelberry cake, lest the dunkelberry bats swarm.

Oh boy, um, yeah, there's not much here that

I didn't like really I I like I Don't know. I

I just wasn't really enamored with this episode.

That's all there was to it I thought it was cool

that it was a family outing that really had nothing

to do with the parents, because the parents are

always off at some antiquing convention. This

time around, Lawrence had to give a thimbly wonderful

speech at some antique symposium. Thimbly wonderful!

That's right. It was the Antique Thimble Symposium,

and he was presenting. That's fun. I like this

episode because it's by no means... Five worthy

like the two episodes yesterday were but this

one I like because it's basically giving you

Candice and Jeremy meeting each other's grandparents

meeting their other family members It's introducing

more about the grandparents and this is the first

introduction of grandma Hilda grandma Johnson

on Jeremy's side So I like that part about it

and like I said Grandpa needs to be on color

commentary all the time You know, I just didn't

get that joke I Was like why is he saying that

I I don't understand Yeah, you're you're not

a sports guy I'm not a sports guy. No What would

you rate this one? Uh, you know, I'm a fair man.

I'd give it a three Three I'm gonna give it a

four Yeah, I like I said, I really did dig it.

I mean the whole thing with with doofenshmirtz

and Again, Shane, you know basically that the

writers are and the creators are mixing things

up here word This is one of only a handful of

episodes. I can remember where doofenshmirtz

is actually sick We're not feeling well, and

he still tries to get away with his his evil

scheme there Yeah, I guess so You know, I'm just

gonna flip the switch and you're gonna turn it

off and Then we'll be done and I can go to bed.

I Felt bad for him. Yeah Alright folks, we're

gonna go have the best lazy day ever beat you

to it again slowpoke. Hey Ferb Ready to build

the fastest, safest, most on -time backyard railroad

ever? Alright! You man the boiler, I'll handle

the brakes. Perry can be the station's mascot.

Wow, it's really nice out today. It's almost

like everything in nature is simultaneously saying...

You know, for... Every day we do something really

big, but you know the one thing we haven't done?

Relax. I say we take advantage of this perfect

day and have the best do nothing day ever. Alright

folks, it is time for us to have the best lazy

day ever. Phineas and Ferb decide to absolutely

do nothing for the day. Candice questions her

purpose in life after realizing that she can't

bust her brothers for doing nothing. Meanwhile,

Dr. Doofenshmirtz is tired of being the ugliest

person around, so he invents a device that can

turn anything and anyone ugly. First time we

have a Monogram and Carl dance party. There's

more? Yeah. They have a Christmas party and Christmas

vacation. Oh, okay. Cool. This is the first time

Candice ever goes into full detail of her and

Jeremy's life in the future with having the children

named Xavier and Amanda. Okay. First time she

mentions them. Right. We have to digress though

because the dance party is disco. it's a disco

day at the uh oh yeah at the alca yeah and the

funny thing is is they have girls there it's

not just a sausage fest yeah i'm wondering where

the hell they got those from because i bet they're

unpaid interns no i'm pretty sure they pay those

interns it's just carl if they don't pay so they're

hired help By the hour by the hour, that's right

Yeah I'll be on my bunk Please tell me you know

what that's from. I do. I do. Okay. I just want

to make sure. We read a lot. Yeah. It's not often

we have... Uh, Richard Gere. Julia... Julia Robertson.

Julia Robertson. Julia Louis -Dreyfus, that's

right. I once said a Julia Dreyfus moment for

some odd reason. Yeah, that's funny. Thinking

of Richard Dreyfus. I wouldn't even want to see

that, that's... For a second there, I was thinking

of Richard Dreyfus and Julia Lewis for some odd

reason. Richard Dreyfus, have they ever been

in a movie together? I don't think so. Mr. Holland's

opus, and um... Yeah. God, I can't think of anything

Julia Lewis was in. From dust till dawn? From

dust till dawn, yeah! Alright, sure, I'll buy

that. So we have the slow motion -inator. The

slow motion -inator! Wow, that's pretty good,

doofenshmirtz. Not as good as Dan, obviously,

because he does the voice himself, but that's

pretty good. Yeah, that's true. I guess. Yeah,

sure. You know what's funny is we sometimes mention

the Doofensmarch figure that I have on my desk,

and he has the ugly -inator. Yep. So I have an

ugly -inator on my desk. Huh. Interesting. I

don't think I've ever been shot by it. Because

I am damn handsome. I think the whole thing is

rigged so that it shoots backwards though. Only

doofensmarts gets it in the face So to digress

I like the fact that Phineas and Ferb are doing

nothing today Yeah, I thought that was interesting.

I know what we're gonna do today Absolutely nothing

And Candice Poor Kansas. We're doing nothing

today. Candice says nothing and they nothing

standing is something and then they like It's

like the slide whistle is a It'll even land hard

they just Right into the grass What a hell is

Vance Ward that's I don't know He was I assume

he's a stereotypical quote -unquote handsome

movie actor that they just created for the show

because he's voiced by Dedrick Bader He's voiced

by friggin Batman Versions of Batman. Yeah. Yeah,

but it's like I figured it would like be a, but

you know how they have, you know, like Shaka

Khan show up, or Clay Aiken, or Kelly Clark,

they have a bunch of guest voices and people

show up on the show in the future, so I'm thinking,

oh, this must be a reference to some actor and

some real person. Only thing I can, the only

wards I can really find that were actors would

be Fred Ward or Burt Ward. Good ol' boy wonder.

He got ugly on his own. Hey! Come on now. Nah,

nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Bert, where's

your walker? Wham, pow. Aren't you a little too

old to be building one of these? Why, yes. Yes,

I am. Yes, I am. I like that when they, you know,

we're still hitting the cliches, but we're not,

we're not giving them to the same old people.

Yeah, they're using it for different... people

in different yeah situations Turning Jeremy and

his band into a metal I Like them better that

way the ugly in areas pretty cool. They weren't

so much ugly. They were just a death metal band

Yeah, but yeah, but I'm saying Cuz it was called

the ugly inator the ugly inator hits them and

it turns them into a death metal man Yeah, but

then it hits the audience in terms of it like

a war audience, you know Where's the mosh pit?

Come on guys. Nobody's punching each other get

with it Apparently doof is Doof is as ugly gets

apparently He's ugly proof or already ugly enough

already ugly enough. Yeah Because there's an

episode later where he has I thought it was this

episode Where he has something that does turn

him handsome because the whole episode later

in a future season Basically, he basically gets

everything people just give him stuff and they

eventually have him run from I remember that

so I remember that whole thing and I'm like,

oh I thought that was oh, no, this isn't that

episode but I kind of do feel sorry for him here

because Perry basically ugly of fives ugly inators

all his stuff like his lazy boy turns into a

patio chair chair ugly tv ugly tv yeah it's like

damn like you know he he earned all that alimony

to buy all that stuff it's like what the hell

that's right he said turn my chair back It's

funny It's funny because he takes his whole living

room with Yeah, he's got a balloon with his whole

living room under it I'd be worried that my chair

my TV would fall off Yeah That's one thing that

I'm not too sure of with the doofenshmirtz living

room balloon thing There's another thing that

I'll be not too sure about when we get to magic

carpet ride The carpet ride episode where they

turn the living room into a giant magic carpet

and they open up the second floor of the house

and oh I didn't know the second floor of the

house open up like this, but yeah, we don't use

it much There's a whole thing in that episode

with it because the TV is still because it's

the episode where they introduce God the clown

the Christ The pinhead Pierre that's what it

is All right, we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Yeah, stop it What else did or didn't you like

about this one I like that Candice embarks on

her own giant scheme because the boys refused

to she wants to uh she wants to implicate them

so she builds her own giant dinosaur water slide

and it's funny because she's she's on top of

it with a jackhammer saying fun loves me more

than it loves you right now that is the best

line uh that might be the line of the episode

yeah and then phoenix is like okay and she's

like oh you want to just take over here you go

no kandace i was gonna actually ask you to keep

it down he was like pardon my reach uh yeah yeah

pardon my that's not that's not an innuendo at

all well you know what's funny is she says pardon

my reach and then but when they pan out right

she's like bent over him yeah in a skirt And

he's like, you know, just go preach somewhere

else cuz I realize we're adopted but come on

Yeah, I I really don't Really don't want to discover

that there's a face and fur but porn parody.

You know what? I'm gonna go no, don't you even

dare? Look at I believe in rule 34. I don't even

have to look I just know it exists If you can

think it in your head, porn exists of it somewhere

on the internet. That's rule 34. Rule 34 of the

internet. If you can think it in your head, it's

out there. I don't even have to verify. I just

know. Anything else on this? Someone out there

has written something between Phineas and Ferb.

Oh, please. No, no. I don't even have fan fiction

not allowed. It was in my head for some reason

and I thought it and it's out there on the internet.

I already know. I don't even have to look. I'm

not condoning it. I'm not saying it's a good

thing or a bad thing. I'm just saying it's there.

I don't know for certain. I've never read it.

I just know it's there. What would you rate?

This episode I would read At least four giant

I love goodness balloons Yeah, that was pretty

ironic that was pretty ironic yeah, oh The irony

the irony turning Vance Ward evil might be the

most evil thing that doof has done so far Or

no, I'm not evil. I mean ugly ugly. Yeah, you

know I wrote evil Which is weird, but turning

him ugly might be the most evil thing that Doof

has done so far. I think leaving him in slow

motion is the evilest thing he's done so far.

He didn't actually do that. Perry did that. They

were falling to their death very quickly, and

Perry shot him with a slow motion and oddly enough

made him fall more slowly. Yeah, which you know

physics Yeah, physics science That's why it works

because science I'm also going to give the best

lazy day ever a four We're gonna take a quick

break come back with final thoughts and close

the show after this anything goes grudge race

of the century between grandma betty joe and

grandma hildegard i'm thinneas flinn and i'll

be your announcer for today's action along with

our color commentator grandpa clied yellow green

boom excellent color grandpa glad to oblige do

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Once again, that's SaturdayMorningRewind .com.

Saturday morning rewind was voted best podcast

ever by its host Tim Nydell So it's gotta be

good grab your helmets because it's time to assemble

mask mass mayhem is here with your host TF Joe

and Mike optimus solo and brand new host tune

master Tim this podcast covering all 75 episodes

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will run 30 podcast episodes. You can find us

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The Beast Unleashed podcast is over, not gone.

You can hear more of this great podcast discussing

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and writer interviews with stellar hosting by

Steve, Mike and Michael. Head on over to iTunes

or the Net or else I will send you my vehicles

to extract your spark and destroy you. Alright

folks, that's gonna do it for day 18, episode

18 here on the Podcast Organization Without Equal

acronym. Where do we stand now that we've seen

these two cartoons? Where do we stand? I'm sitting.

I'm not sure what we mean by this. Do we give

up on the series? I'm not sure what you're asking.

No, we're committed at this point. We've already

done 18 days of this. We might as well do the

other hundred and something days or 80 something

days or whatever it is. You know, like I said

before with me, you know, crack that whip was

what was interesting because it was a building

foundation for Candace and Jeremy's grandparents.

Thought that was cool. Best lazy day ever. It

was nice for us to see something that Phineas

and Ferb just weren't gonna do anything. And

then basically brings Candice's entire character

into question, which is cool. She's bound to

the term of the Buster Brothers no matter what.

You know what's funny is the, uh, the giant dinosaur

slide. Yeah, I've got little dinosaur slides

doodled on my notes now So I liked it so much

just like that is so cool Alright folks, that's

gonna do it for us here on day 18. Thank you

for joining us here on Palka There are several

ways to get in contact with us. Leave feedback

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for and your name five oh two five two six five

eight two one We hope you enjoyed this episode

of Palka and wish you'll join us tomorrow when

we will be giving you our thoughts on the next

episode of Phineas and Ferb which includes Boyfriend

from 27 ,000 BC and voyage to the bottom of Buford.

Um... Yeah, I don't want to go anywhere near

Buford or the bottom of him. For now, I am TF2

Unmiked with... P. Concord Michael. Thank you

for listening. Until next time. Fun loves me

more than it loves you right now. But wait, there's

more! Aren't you a little young to be a podcaster?

No, no I'm not. Aren't you a little old to be

watching this cartoon show? Yes. Yes, I am It's

good to see the nation's senior citizens taking

an interest in cartooning Yes, yes it is There's

not really any more that's about it