It’s a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World, The Ballad of Badbeard

Good afternoon, Danville! Dink Winkerson here,

and this is little Isabella Garcia Shapiro from

Fireside Girl Troop 46231. And she's got a little

announcement to make. Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday!

Giant Monster Truck Valley right here in Danville!

Candice the Crusher takes on all comers! Be there,

be there, be there! We'll give you the whole

seat, but you'll only need the edge! Thanks,

Dink! Hello and welcome to the 13th episode the

13th day of summer here Inside the podcast organization

with a cool acronym brought to you by the geocast

radio network I am your host TFG1 Mike and joining

me as usual is Peacock Crump Michael. Hello.

Hey, how's it going? It's going Today is the

13th day of summer. That means more and more

Phineas and Ferb And folks there's some things

that that I know of and some things I don't know

of and vice versa with Michael There's some things

he knows that I don't know But I can't believe

he has never seen it's a mad mad mad mad world

I grew up on that movie in the 80s watching it.

My mom would show that to me all the time. I

Never see well, I don't think my mom would ever

seen it. So so today we've got it's a mud mud

mud mud world and then we've got the ballad of

bad beard so we've got monster trucks and pirates

today here inside palco sure yay anything you

want to say before we get right to it i wish

i did you know actually i'm looking at the mad

mad mad mad world wiki and i think you were reading

directly from it No, I wasn't I Kid I don't even

have it pulled up. I just know this stuff. This

is so 60s I mean, it's just so it came out in

1963 Yeah, it's got Colombo in it. Oh God It's

a fuck as it as it as a taxi cab driver. I Was

gonna say it's got holy cow. He looks young in

this. It's it's got Milton Berle in it for all

lives what no milton burl you idiot this is wow

man this is seriously like 10 years before i

was born and i'm old It was all your fault right

from the beginning to the end. You know, even

for a policeman, your behavior was ratty outrageous.

Well, you could have taken a fair share like

the rest of us, but no, you had to go and wrap

up the whole scene, baby. We had 350 ,000 bucks

right in our hands. 14 into 350 ,000 dollars.

Oh, shut up! I wish I knew what they were gonna

do to us. But no matter what happens to us, what

happens to you, I hope, will be worse. I don't

think you have to worry too much about that.

My wife is divorcing me. My mother -in -law is

suing me for damages. My daughter is applying

to the courts to have her name changed. My pension

has been revoked. And the only reason... That

you ten idiots will very likely get off lightly

is because the judge will have me up there to

throw the bouquet. Oh, that's tough. Oh. I'd

like to think that sometime, maybe 10 or 20 years

from now, there'd be something I could laugh

at. Anything. right? We're gonna get to it's

a mud mud mud mud world after this. Hey boys.

Hi mom. What are you up to today? We're racing

our remote control monster trucks. I don't see

any monster trucks. Oh that's because we rigged

them to go light speed. You know how those stock

motors are. They never give you enough action.

You boys have such active imagination. You must

get it from your father. Let's see. is to number

five. I'm painting. Oh, Charlene's here. I'm

off to my cooking class. Bye, Mom. Final lap,

Ferb. Aw, another photo finish. I'm never watching

closely enough to see you won. Despair speaking.

Care to explain why Despair isn't picking up

her cell phone this morning? Because of a little

thing called Barrel - Yesterday, Dad was teaching

me how to drive. Okay, Candice. All you have

to do is park between this plastic trash can

and that plastic trash can. So I put it in reverse.

Then Dad said my parallel parking needs a little

work. It means I'll never get my driver's license.

I'm such a loser. Oh my gosh, Ferb. I can't believe

it. I've never noticed how soft our carpets are.

But more importantly, we have to help Candace

get her confidence back. Any ideas? This is perfect!

The Candace Crusher! Nothing says confidence

like a monster truck! Alright folks, it's a mud

mud mud mud world. Phineas and Ferb help Candace

learn how to parallel park by building a monster

truck track in the backyard. Meanwhile, Dr. Dufn

Schmertz is marketing his new line of monster

trucks to investors. and proceeds to try and

get rid of the competition. Still not evil. No.

He's still not taking over the Tri -State area.

Yeah. On the bright side, you know, this episode

has more to do with mud than it does Jimmy Durante.

Hey! That's a low blow. This is the second time

they modified mom's car so that's interesting

her car is a transformer now the whole doofenshmirtz

story is just just hilarious the fact that he

would make a monster truck that looks like himself

talk about egotistical And then at one point

he says, okay, let's all get in me. Let's get

inside me. That's right. Everybody get inside

me It took five pounds of lube to get inside

deep Oh, that's just the oily engine So many

bad jokes coming out This episode had a giant

baby head Yeah, this isn't the first time I know

I'm just saying that it's a recurring appearance

of the giant baby head I like where Phineas is

directing traffic. Those can go over there. Those

can go giant. Yeah, baby. I didn't go anywhere.

Yeah I liked I especially liked Ritz O 'Brien.

He had so many good lines. I mean he was like

Properly in the episode. It wasn't just hello

boys. It was you know, he had lines he reacted

You know, we were just talking about you know

whether or not it was an ensemble cast and and

if so was uh was richard o 'brien actually in

the ensemble and this one yeah he definitely

had to be he was he was he had to have been in

the thick of it because he he was just really

really funny it's like i don't know boys let

me check with your mother and the mother the

boys are building a monster truck in the backyard

and she's like yeah yeah that's fine okay it's

all right with your mom So funny Yeah, he had

a good he had all the good lines today except

for Isabella who got to do the announcement voice

And her head got like freakishly huge Always

remember to Sunday. Well, you know, they don't

do these anymore. But when I was young like every

weekend Sunday Sunday Sunday It generally is

I think she used Wednesday And the Bella Garcia

Shapiro and she was wearing her fireside costume.

Yep. She's running fireside girls uniform never

does It's it's so funny when she goes, you know

is at the end you know she says something about

the seats where you'll you'll have the whole

thing but you're only gonna need the edge and

then Wink Wink or whatever his name is like his

hair is standing on end and he's just like okay

she's like thanks Wink back in her own voice

and i'm like oh god this is just hilarious that

is funny that's just so funny that's what might

have been my favorite my favorite scene The rest

of the episode You didn't so much do it for me.

I don't I don't I'm not a I'm not a monster truck

guy You know, I like that. I like the crash of

derbies at the at the county fair in the summer.

Mm -hmm Yeah, I like the seats along the front

where you're guaranteed to get mud splashed on

you Those are fun, but I don't know again an

integral part of summer So I get it why they'd

be there. I just I I don't think that it's as

You know magical fantastical as some of the other

things that they've done Well, no, and they're

really doing this to help Candice more than anything

else like the whole monster truck aspect of it

was didn't really come into play until the end

until You know, Isabella made the announcement

and then the truck drivers heard it and they

all went and joined them. So, like, the whole

point was really for them to... The way that

Vinny and Ferb look at it is, well, if you can

drive a monster truck, you can drive anything.

Right. Right. Oh, so that's the thing with building

her confidence back up. Put her in the biggest,

heaviest, largest piece of vehicle machinery

you can. Right. And if she screws it up, then...

Yeah, well, yeah, and she she pulls it off and

it was fantastic. I don't think it Required the

introduction of you know, like a nemesis What

was his name bucky buckenstein or Yeah, something

like he buckerson. Yeah. Yeah buck buckers buck

buckers. It's just Why do why do we need a guy?

I don't even know what the caricature is what

exactly they were going for I'm like, is it Hulk

hugging with a mustache? I'm not sure what they're

shooting for here. They had to have some way

to explain how the hell that they get rid of

the thing. Instead of having the B story tie

in to the A story, they have a self -contained

thing with the A story of how it has gotten rid

of. Because he basically takes it with him. Yeah,

so we kind of got this convoluted sea story of

why the... I don't know, what's it called? What's

the thing called that they... The Coliseum, the

arena. So the arena disappears and it's like,

oh, what happened to the arena? Well, you know,

it didn't just disappear this time. Bucky drove

off with it. You know, I don't know. It's just

wasn't my favorite episode. I think you know

I I liked I liked the the rich Richard O 'Brien

rich O 'Brien got a lot of a lot of screen time

I liked the and the Isabella announcement thing

but It just didn't didn't resonate with me So

buck buckerson, you know, he's always buckers.

Oh, please tell me Billy Ray Cyrus They keep

Ricky heart himself. Yeah, that's just wrong

Like, you know, I just can't find I can't find

my rat's ass here Somewhere I just lay sigh He

actually returns um he'll be back in it's a mud

world after all and then he has two cameos one

in Phineas's birthday clip orama Probably reusing

something from it's a mud mud mud world, and

then he has a cameo in mandus Yeah That's I think

I think Mandus was the episode and I think I'm

not saying this for sure folks. I think that's

the episode where Doofenshmirtz has this this

the senator that fuses things together and Jeremy

and Candice end up fused together at the hip.

Oh, that one. Yes, I remember that because she

yeah, because she tries funny. Yeah, she tries

to hide it from Stacey. They pass out or something

and she has to hide them under her coat. Yeah,

well he's already asleep his mom said Well, no,

she was sitting there talking to him the inator

hits them and she's stuck with him But he was

already asleep his mom said that he'd been doing

like work to triple shift and slushy dog or something

or other I don't know. Yeah, so he was really

really really tired When it comes to it's a mud

mud mud mud world. I liked it for the continuity

of you know Candice and and Her driving and Phineas

and Ferb helping her to learn how to drive and

parallel park and all that I liked that part

and I like the do flat. I think it's funny that

we actually see other characters Other than just

the normal we haven't really seen a lot of the

other evil scientists yet But like I was seeing

it look like evil scientists, but he introduces

them as investors as investors. Yeah, so I found

that confusing. Well, because I think they are

actual investors. They are people who would buy

stuff, you know, because one of them says, you

know, the part car away inator. Well, yeah, that

is something I would buy. It's kind of like,

oh, God, this actually happened, but it's kind

of like a Doofenshmirtz on Shark Tank. And that

actually did happen. I'll have to find that clip.

OK. It's pretty well, you know Disney ABC Disney

Channel, they all you know, they all own each

other. So yeah, sure. All right. What are you

going to give mud mud mud mud world? You know,

I said this didn't resonate with me. I I'm remiss

to give it like a one. But if I was going to

give an episode of one, it would probably be

this one. I'm going to give it a three. I really

did enjoy it because you like Spencer Tracy.

No, whatever that was that guy This weird movie

that I've never seen No, the episode is named

after the movie not the character So yeah, no,

I'm gonna give it a three. I enjoyed it. Like

I said, I think it's a good episode I don't think

it's a necessarily a bad episode, but that's

cuz I kind of grew up on You know, monster like

Grave Digger and Bigfoot and monster trucks and

all that stuff. So I did that. Yes, you did not.

So now. We are going to head to the Island of

Spleen for the Ballad of Badbeard. Yeah, the

Isle of Spleen. You don't really need that island.

No, no, you don't. It sounds like somebody's

strangling a cat. It must be grandpa. Wakey wakey

eggs and bakey. I cannot believe we eat the same

food. Believe it. Grandma, would you show me

where the shower is? Shower? Why, sure, honey.

Would you like a massage and a fruity drink,

too? How about a manicure and a mud facial while

you lay by the pool eating crab cakes? I can

do without the sarcasm. Chow time's over, campers.

Time for our nature walk to Bad Beard Lake. Why

do they call it Bad Beard Lake? Well, it's a

body of freshwater surrounded by land. No, the

Bad Beard Park. Oh, right. It was named after

Bad Beard, the most ruthless freshwater pirate

ever to plunder a lakeside community. And in

the middle of Badbeard Lake lies Spleen Island,

where legend has it Badbeard buried his bountiful

booty. Booty? You know, treasure. Treasure? Treasure?

Aye, mateys. Oh, just a sec. Arrgh! Why you talkin'

like a pirate, Grandpa? Alright folks, it is

time for the Ballad of Badbeard. Phineas and

Ferb with their friends search for the treasure

of Badbeard. Meanwhile, Dr. Duven Schmerz moves

into his new lair on Spleen Island. Spleen Island.

Candice touches the orange moss and hallucinates

seeing Perry as a secret agent. That's right.

So trippy. So a lot of well, there's one very

big first in this for Candice specifically All

you see busy Kevin the zebra Well, she does even

I don't think the zebra is named Kevin the zebra

calls her Kevin. Yeah, I I don't I don't know

the specifics, but I always thought of the zebra

as Kevin Yeah, cuz he's a recurring character.

He pops up a couple of times But this is the

first time So first appearance of Kevin Kevin

that's Kevin the zebra it's kind of like Frankenstein's

Monster, you know, you always call him Frankenstein,

even though he his name wasn't Frankenstein So

this is kind of like Kevin's monster. We call

him Kevin, even though His name's not really

Kevin. I don't know if he has a name, but he

shows up You know this whole episode is camping

with the grandparents, yeah again And it seems

like we've done this before. Well, it is a little

bit different, because they're on a treasure

hunt, and this is the first time they've really

done a treasure hunt episode, I think. Yeah,

it's like the Goonies. Yeah, pretty much. The

Goonies meets Indiana Jones. It's like the opposite

of the Goonies, because in the Goonies, the kids...

Went and found the pirate ship and sailed it

away and of this they build the pirate ship and

sail it there. Yeah And there's no Italian officers

shooting at them. No, it should be that's what

this episode is missing This is a card. This

is a kid's cartoon. We don't need Italian. We

don't need fat Tony from the Simpsons I think

you know, honestly, I think if we had fat Tony

from the Simpsons in the Simpsons Well the other

Sopranos if we had if we had some Sopranos in

this one We got a five instead of the poultry

for that. I'm gonna give it Yeah, I like the

Don't want to say yeah, I don't want to say I

liked the grant. I don't I don't like the grandparents

as characters, you know, I Shouldn't say that

but but yeah, it's true. I think they're kind

of they're kind of Yeah, I'm gonna refrain from

calling them that um Buford's concertina Yes

It's gonna become a running joke because Buford

always cuz Buford laters cuz I think Phineas

says Anyone have a piccolo piccolo anyone Buford

one of these days. I'm not gonna have every musical

instrument you need That's right But the funny

thing is is Isle of spleen? No As they're running

Through the booby traps once they get on once

they get to the isle of spleen yes once they

get there right We see what what looks like like

multi -colored alligators that are stepping in

the kids from below yeah oh my gosh you for what

are you doing look i don't even if the end of

the uh... what's that for your own let's go all

rights well this was after they they ran over

the the janet guana you know at least with i

want to see the janet guana what was it was that

from so from uh... journey to the senate that

was just a center of the earth that was uh...

It was like old ray harryhausen movie right with

like the giant iguana it was like um quest for

fire stuff or something Really old anyway, but

that I thought that was funny that they they

go on the ground um And they find they find the

giant iguana In the isle of spleen So this episode,

because we only have the grandparents, Caroline

Rae only has Grandma Betty Jo as a credit, because

Linda wasn't even in this episode. No, there's

no Linda, there's no Aunt Dorothy. Nope. Just

the one. Yup. Did you know that Barry Bostwick

is the voice of Grandpa Clyde? I was not aware.

That's funny. It's funny Richard O 'Brien and

Barry Boswick in the same show Well, no, actually,

I don't think Richard O 'Brien had a had a voice

in this one, did he? He had additional voices.

Oh, well, that's cool. Maybe they're on the set

together. Oh That's what it okay. I get it. You

realize Barry Boswick was Brad Yeah picture show

It says here additional voices by Richard O 'Brien,

so it doesn't say which additional voices, but

it does say additional, but you may not have

been there that day then yeah, well on this on

this episode with the first appearance of of

the zebra yeah, I Clicked on the talking zebra

And it is voiced by Jeff Bennett. Okay. First

appearance is this. Last appearance is the monster

from the id. And it does say that it's him calling

her Kevin. Because her name is Candice Flynn.

Yeah. So no Flynn lives Kevin Flynn. So it is

it's the zebra calling her Kevin Flynn. I guess

essentially from is what's going on. So. So what

is it? What's the zebra's name? It doesn't. It's

just talking. He's just talking zebra in heaven.

It says and I know you hate when I do this. I

know the entire listening audience hates when

I do this, but I want to be. wanna be accurate

here. According to the Phineas and Ferb wiki,

it says, the talking zebra is a being that exists

as a figment of Candace's imagination. For unknown

reasons, he always calls her Kevin. Yeah Because

he's an eagle. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah You

know the agent even it didn't show up. I want

to say in previous Or what was the name of the

episode where all the agents were there? I don't

remember there being an eagle That was the dr.

Feel better episode Dr. Feel better It's called

dr. Feel better is what it's called. I know I

just put it's a play on dr. Phil just made me

giggle That's like I'm not you know saying that's

not the case I was just saying that this Dr.

Phil So yeah the so we have agent Ian this is

the first other agent backup that we've ever

met at this point So it's interesting that the

other animal agent, like we don't ever really

see them. The other animal agents? No, no, no.

That's not what I was going to say. We will see

them, but we don't ever really see them on their

own adventures against their own nemesi or nemeses.

Unless they're trying to steal parry's nemeses.

Right, right. Then there was that one episode

where Doofenshmirtz actually went to work for

Alka. But that's a whole different other story

That's another story for the day I thought the

difference first plot was so damn funny I just

thought it was so so interesting with this one

With the whole just moving into the new layer

and and then you know him having to just You

know stop Perry the platypus from trying to stop

him doing anything anyway He's just like look,

you know, I'm not doing anything evil. I'm just

moving in Not even doing anything and yet he

still manages to blow up his blow up his spleen

Yes a spleenectomy He didn't he didn't need that

spleen anyway, it's just sank to the bottom of

the ocean anything else on this one uh grandpa's

boat is named grandpa's dinghy actually has it

written on the back in cursive grandpa's dinghy

yeah just tiny decrepit dinghy so many innuendos

folks so much don'ts there uh i like the the

chest a pile of skulls Like, yeah, open that

one. Just open that chest. Then they get it open

and it's full of bad beards. And it's funny,

was it Ferb who had a plaid beard? It's supposed

to be bad beards, not plaid beards. This is awful,

I I hesitate to use the word and caprisis You

know that is right no, okay, don't look it up

yet But I wonder if maybe Baljeet would be diagnosed

with this if he went to therapy. I mean, he's

got a lot of neuroses, but he definitely has

a problem keeping his underpants clean. Well,

if you had Buford all over your... Your stuffin'

junk, yeah. Yeah, I mean... Well, it's not like...

Buford's a bully, but it's not like bad touch

bully, you know? Yeah, no, I know that, but...

He's like, at least twice, maybe three times

during this episode, he's like, my underpants!

They are dirty again! I'm like, dude, seriously,

you gotta learn how to poop somewhere appropriate.

Well, Baljeet gets scared a lot and Buford is

bullying him, so normally that's, you know. Yeah,

but I mean, maybe not at this point, but eventually

it becomes like a symbiotic relationship where

Baljeet kind of expects to be carried around

by his underpants, you know. Which is kind of

a weird thing that's have happened, but I. Didn't

I mean he's mentioned it before but here I mean

they've they've said it two or three times He's

just like oh there goes my patties, you know

and He's he's gotta be pooping himself Okay,

I think I lost you I lose you no Yeah, I... No,

I am so not. At all. Why do you... You know what

it is, and you're like, oh god, why did I look

that up? Yeah, no, that's not something I looked

up. I, you know, it's just one of those things

where... This happens a lot where you're like...

All quiet for about three minutes. Well, like

I said, you know, you gotta... Is he looking

up and you're e -sissing? No. Do you not know

what these are? Don't look for images. You won't

like it. No, I just don't, like... Belgy crapping

his pants all day. I don't know how to come back

from that. I'm sorry. You know, I have my undergrads

in psychology. Sometimes it comes back to haunt

me The thing I did not like okay about this episode

I Aside from the fact that doofenshmirtz is a

new hideout It was destroyed for apparently no

reason because he really wasn't doing anything

And they took out a reasonably You know, nice

pirate cave. Yeah. You know, who else was on

the island when it went down was the giant iguana.

Nobody cared about the giant iguana, as it most

likely drowned and, you know, was sacrificed

with the island of Spleen. I'm sure they swim.

Aren't they semi -aquatic? They are. I don't

think they are. And even if he could, even if

he was semi -aquatic, when they left him, he

was lodged in that cave. He was chasing him and

he got stuck in the cave. He wouldn't have been

able to get out. Well, how did he get in there

in the first place? He's got to be semi -aquatic

because he had to swim in there somehow. He had

to... Yeah, I mean... You think so? You don't

think maybe that the deep recesses of this island

was his only home? where he grew to gargantuan

size by eating strange mushrooms. They're orange

moss. No, it's the blue moss. Grandpa always

gets that mixed up. Yeah. Well, Candice still

has the munchies. Oh, wait a minute. I had the

wrong moss. What happened? And then at the end

she touches the right moss, supposedly. The blue

moss that goes right back in there. We're trippy.

What's the name of the stringed instrument that

they play whenever something's trippy? It's,

uh, the, the, the leer. It's, no, it's, um...

I don't know. It's like... You know, that one.

And then that, that starts playing. Whenever,

uh, she touches pretty much any kind of moss.

Yeah. Parsley. Parsnip moss. What would you uh,

what would you rate this one? I like this one.

I'd give it a four at least I'm gonna give it

a three. I like that Agent P got saved by by

Agent E and You know, it was like a throwback

to Lord of the Rings It's like, you know, why

did they just have Agent E fly Frodo over Mount

Doom and toss the ring in? You know, I would

have saved them all a bunch of walking Mmm Yes,

it was a giant eagles change change the whole

book Yeah, yeah There is only one return it is

none of the king it's of the Jedi so with that

We're gonna take a quick break, come back to

close the show. Argh, I'm trying to tell the

story of Bad Beard the Pirate. There's a song

about it. Say, does anyone have a concertina?

You first. Me? Yes. It's action. It's drama.

It's comedy. It's Decian, the superhero webcomic.

Decian's got superhero antics and sexy girls.

Read it now at Decian .com. D -A -S -I -E -N

dot com. Okay everybody, get to me and we'll

go. TFGO and Mike here from the Geekcast Radio

Network and today folks, I want to talk to you

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out Morton's PC Repair and Service. Candace,

those dudes need to suck our mud! Let me tell

you all the story of the truck driving girl In

a custom -made monster truck she took for a whirl

That little speed demon gonna be a star With

a learner's permit and an adult in the car She

made me out for a lot but she can't bear it apart

She's a truck driving girl, she's a truck driving

girl It's a photo finish! The winner will now

be decided by our final event, the Parallel Parking

Challenge! Parallel Parking? Ha ha! You're going

down, girly. Check out the finesse. See, Candice,

even a train... The professional has trouble

from time to time. Now I want you to just relax

and park this car. Yes! Perfect! Alright folks,

we are back here on Palka and we've made it through

two weeks of the 104 days of podcast. Well, almost

two weeks. Next week, uh, or next week, Jesus.

War two two business weeks is that we're saying

14 days. Yes 14 total days. Oh sweet two weeks

two weeks. Next week will be the second week

The final full second week of the show So far

so good the next no, seriously, no, seriously,

it's like knock it off um safari safari sagudi

i oh safari who say it safari who safari sagudi

and and seriously what i thought you i was gonna

what you were saying was sorry as in like sorry

somdak oh sorry who it's like this would be sorry

who this freaking tar is strong sorry that's

who Like over the next three days day 14 15 and

16. It's gonna be really interesting because

we have Two two -parters bookending those three

days really a 14. Yep day 14 is Dude, we're getting

the band back together parts 1 & 2 day 15 is

the fish among what? Yeah, yeah love handle handle

took me years to figure out what they meant Sorry

go ahead Don't want to know what they meant.

I really, really don't want to know. I know what

they meant. Oh, love handle. Well, you can say

that in day 14, what the hell it meant. Oh, handles

of love. Yeah. I've got to handle love. Come

on, Alice Cooper, sing it with me. Yeah, no.

Day 15, we've got ready for the Bettys and the

flying fishmonger. And day 16, we've got Phineas

and Ferb get busted parts one and two. Ooh. That's

what's coming up here on Pauka. Thank you for

joining us. There are several ways to get in

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As I said, we, uh, we've got, dude, we're getting

the band back together, parts one and two tomorrow.

For now, I am TF2 and Mike with... P. Concord,

Michael. Thank you for listening. Until next

time. But wait, there's more! Aren't you a little

young to be a podcaster? No, no I'm not. Aren't

you a little old to be watching this cartoon

show? Yes, yes I am. It's good to see the nation's

senior citizens taking an interest in cartooning

Yes, yes it is