The Transporter Trilogy Review

You're listening to the geek cast radio network

of podcast Hello and welcome to the 73rd episode

of M water brought to you by the geek cast radio

network I'm your host to John Mike TF Joe Mike

and today I'm joined by JT. Hello. How you doing?

Pretty good. How are you? I've had a little bit

of a busy, tiring week. I started a new day job

in order to earn myself some more scratch in

this economy and began the long, arduous process

of replacing my blood with Red Bull in order

to stay awake all day. Isn't Red Bull pink and

our blood is red? You know what? As long as I

don't fall asleep standing up, I'm all good.

But no, I did that Tried to get back working

on my blog again because I haven't really done

that over the last couple weeks I'm actually

trying to record some audio reviews of various

nerdy and geeky things that The scooby -doo is

number one fanboy glades gonna be putting in

his podcast series on from TSA productions Scrabby

rules I'm not going down that road Mike. You

can't bait me I will reach through the internet

and smack you if you bring up Scrappy one more

time. Scrappy rules! Damn it, the technology

doesn't exist yet. No, it doesn't exist yet.

No, this is not fun. Yeah, overall, I'm good.

You know, it's been a decent week. Nothing life

-threatening or life -changing has really happened,

so I'm good to go. Awesome. Uh, what have I been

up to since, uh, oh yeah, the great debacle of

episode 72. You know, sometimes we just, like

when Steve and I and we record them at like five

o 'clock in the morning, uh, sometimes because

I'm doing so much other stuff that I don't have

time to do. I mean, even though this is one of

the weekly shows, it's like... It comes down

to the wire, and originally MWire72 is gonna

be all about the original American Pie films.

And came 5am one morning to get it recorded,

and I said to Steve, I said, dude, I haven't

even watched any of these damn films, and I really

can't stand those films anyway, that's a topic

for another day, but I said, what can we replace

this with that we both can talk about at 5am

this morning? And I just kind of like went through

the whole schedule and went through like different

films and different this or that I was looking

for a one -shot something that wasn't a series

something that we could knock out in like you

know 20 30 45 minutes And we ended up talking

about Forrest Gump So I like chocolate So the

problem was though when I originally because

I usually I usually will post and draft the posts

for each podcast episode on a lot of the shows.

That way Steve only has to go in, put the links

in, publish it, and then it's done. He doesn't

have to do any other work other than the RSS.

So I never changed it for 72. I never fucking

changed it. I went in last night and I changed

it and Yeah, and apparently no one will ever

hear this because Steve's gonna fix it, but apparently

what he did was he put our Forrest Gump discussion

right behind, right following the trailer for

American Pie. Yeah, and I know I'm completely

throwing Steve under the bus here because he's

not here to defend himself But he called me and

told me that I'm like you did what? You know

the weird thing is like when you talk about like

blood blunders like that Mm -hmm I on one of

my blog posts a while back I put up like my top

five favorite like theme songs or musical scores

from movies of the 80s And for the longest time,

there's a radio show here in Canada on the CBC

called Quirks and Quirks. It's like little factoids

and big movings and shakings in the world of

science. And for years, I thought their theme

song was the same. It's really similar to the

theme song from Gremlins. I put that in my post

that, you know, in like one of the longest running

CBC radio shows. It's like the theme to this

show. And someone from the CBC that takes care

of that website actually posted on my blog saying,

you might want to take that off. We've never

used that music. And I was like, hmm, would the

CBC actually sue me? Well, considering that they're

the Disney of Canada, I'm removing it right now.

Because all of a sudden I was like, I'm too pretty

to go to jail. So that's the other big thing.

Well, that's like the one big thing this week

that I was looking at and I was just like, oh,

poopy. I just found it so hilarious because it's

one of those things where... If either one of

us is tired because I mean a lot of the stuff

we do is we do it by ourselves So a lot of it

we do it like five o 'clock in the morning during

the week because you know we're both up or whatever

but If we're both really tired and we're not

paying attention Crap like that'll happen If

you if you listen to secret origins episode 18,

I don't know if Steve has has fixed this yet

I think he's gonna be fixing this soon, but He

was ripping clips for me for the episode, the

JLU episode, The Balance. And the clip that I

told him to rip was Wally getting Shaira and

Diana together. And, well, you remember The Balance,

right? Yeah, it's been a while since I watched.

It's after, obviously they've gone unlimited,

it was after Shaira was let back into the league,

but there's still tension between her and Diana.

This is the episode where we find out that Hades

is actually her father. And she gets her armor

and all that stuff. But anyway, so I had Steve

rip the scene that Flash gets Hawkgirl and Wonder

Woman together as far as to have a meal together.

And when Steve was ripping the clip, he was putting

it through audacity for some strange reason.

Audacity slowed it down. Okay, so it's in slow

motion and it sounds like and I'm not I'm I I

have nothing against Gay people whatsoever, but

it sounds like three gay people talking It just

has has that kind of like ooh sparkly type of

you know, just like hi Yeah, yeah, and it's really

slow and it's just really really oh wow and i

was like i made it on the post on facebook i

was like um well here's secret origins episode

18 which steven c phillips screwed the audio

up on us for the balance but uh yeah so uh let's

uh let's go ahead and go to uh the transporter

1 trailer and we will come back with that discussion

I was wondering if you wouldn't mind transporting

something for me. No questions asked. Why not?

From the maker of the Professional and La Femme

Nikita. Once we make a deal, the terms of that

deal can be changed or renegotiated. Frank Morton

is the best in the business. Seventy -five thousand.

Half now. Half on delivery. He never made a mistake.

Until today. What kind of data man deep trouble,

you know what to do Why'd you try to kill me

you broke the rules you open the package Rules

are made to be broken So to set the stage for

The Transporter is a 2002 French action film

directed by Louis Leterriere and Corey Yen written

by Luc Besson who was inspired by BMW Films The

Hire series The film stars Jason Statham as Frank

Martin, a driver -for -hire, a mercenary, a transporter,

who will deliver anything, anywhere, no questions

asked, for the right price. It also stars Xu

Kui as Lai Kuaidu. Friggin' French, Chinese stuff.

The film was released in France on October 2nd,

2002, and in the United States on October 11th,

2002. is the first film in a series also consisting

of Transporter 2 and 3. When did you first see

this? And I grew up watching a lot of Luc Besson

films like the original La Femme Nikita, The

Professional that he did, the one with Gary Oldman.

So I was really looking forward to this film

and I didn't really know what to expect because

watching the trailer I thought it was going to

be more like a traditional sort of action movie

with the rap rock music and I was pleasantly

surprised to see that wasn't the case with this

film. It wasn't even really rap rock, as far

as the music goes. It was more of like tech.

Well, I mean in the trailer. Right. Yeah, because

I have that, yes, y 'all, everybody ricocheting

off the wall. Oh, yeah, that's right. Like, oh

my god, Fred Durst is involved. What am I doing?

But no, I really liked the movie. It was the

first time I had ever seen Jason Statham, because

I hadn't seen like Lock Stock and Two Smoking

Barrels or Snatch yet. Yeah. But no, I really

like the movie. I thought this guy was like,

you know, kind of this... I thought this was

gonna be like the second coming of the action

film, because, you know, he's kind of like Van

Damme. He's been studying martial arts his whole

life. He used to be a model. The guy can kick

some major ass, so... Yep. Yeah, I first saw

this, I think, sometime after it was on video.

I know I did not see this in the theater. But

really really enjoyed it. You know when I was

watching it back before we started recording

The music really really fits this film and it

just it just carries it I guess getting into

some plot here Frank Martin played by Statham

is a highly regarded highly skilled driver known

only as the transporter The title character is

former Special Forces officer who disillusioned

with his former leadership now lives on the French

Mediterranean coastline with a lucrative second

career. He will transport anything, no questions

asked, from point A to point B. He operates by

a set of rules. Rule one, never change the deal.

Rule two, no names. Rule three, never open the

package. And rule four, never make a promise

you can't keep. He's the ultimate straight man.

Yeah, he's definitely got that, you know, stiff

upper lip from the Brit, but he's more of a...

I think when I first saw this movie, and I haven't

seen the movie for years, but the way, you know,

he generates this sort of, this air of almost

silent menace. Yeah. It kind of reminded me of

like a young Malcolm McDowell, like Clockwork

Orange. Yeah, he just had that person that that

presence about him during the whole thing, right?

I was when I watched it back this time I watched

it with the commentary because I hadn't done

that before when I had the DVD And it's Statham

and one of the other producers Steve something

let me see here. What is it? It's commentary

this producer Stephen Chazman and you know They

were talking about how they were going to have

Statham do the character as far as whether they

were going to have him use the British accent,

you know, his natural voice, or whether they

were going to have him put on an American accent.

And they said it was kind of like a mixture of

both. There are times where you'd think that

Frank is American because he is talking just

straight talk, no accenting or anything like

that. When I originally saw this Actually when

I heard about it was after I saw this I heard

about hitman coming out and when I originally

saw this I thought these could be the hitman

movies because he he Looks like an awesome like

he would be an awesome hitman. No offense to

Timothy Olifant. He did a good job in that film,

but I Originally thought they were gonna state

them to play the hitman video game character

in in film because it would have been so cool

Yeah, no, I mean you the way he carried himself

like all the character Frank the way Frank knew

what worked in this movie. It's You can tell

from you without it ever being said that this

guy's seen some shit in his day Oh, yeah, and

just from his thing and Just I think one of my

favorite scenes in the movie just how you see

him dealing with his car after the initial Where

you see him do it ply his trade in the first

minutes of the movie? Yeah, that opening scene

was just amazing. The whole argument, and that's

why I said he is, you know, Frank is the ultimate

straight man. The whole argument about three

men, 254 kilos, and four men get in the car.

And he's like, well, you know, because he's very,

very precise. Well, I only allotted for three.

When he is gonna have to go, you know if we have

you know, if we run into any police How are we

gonna outrun them with the extra weight and blah

blah blah, and then they go into this amazing

chase scene And this at the time outside of like

born identity at the time because born identity

came out same year this did Outside of born identity,

I think this is probably the best chase scene

in a 2002 film Yeah, no this Well, I mean the

choreography of both like the like the driving

and the fighting in this this film alone kind

of set the bar for a few years to come right

just and Again, I mean oh two it's was only you're

removed from like fast and furious and I mean

that had some great car chases in it and this

kind of Well, yeah, but it's a different feel

though. It's racing. For this, it's action adrenaline.

Yeah, yeah. No, that's kind of what I'm saying.

It's just because no one had really seen anything

like it was in Fast and Furious and no one had

seen the car chases of a caliber like this in

a movie in a very long time. I mean, it's directed

by Louis Leterrier. He's done a couple. I think

he did Ronin. Yeah, he also did... hulk 2008

i think but that's a completely different monster

yeah but no the the initial car chase is just

amazing yeah Cause you always think he's going

to like skid out of control and he's like, no,

no, I got this. I got this. Cause even that reference

in the original argument says, well, you know,

if there's four guys that's going to throw the

weight off and this custom shocks installed aren't

going to work. And then later on during the chase

is like, see custom shocks. Yeah. See the shocks

work better when you have the right weight. Yep.

One of the things that really surprised me about

this film, because when I first saw Fast and

the Furious, and that was the first time I had

ever seen Matthew Schultz, and I'm like, oh god,

what a wuss. You didn't watch Blade? I probably

have, but I probably didn't know him then. I've

seen Blade, but I don't remember him that far

back. Oh, Blade II I should mention, but yeah.

But yeah, I don't remember that. I don't remember...

Like, Fast and the Furious is where I first saw

him and that's where I first know him from. And

just watching that film and just watching his

character, Vince, I'm like, oh God, what a little

bitch. And then seeing him in this is this character,

quote unquote, Wall Street is his nickname, which

is so friggin' stupid. I hate that nickname.

He's just a badass in this. I know, he's got

that... kind of barely concha - barely concha

- conchained, contained, uh, psychotic looking

like when he's talking to Frank and he's doing

these little, little tics, these little movements

when he's walking up, he's talking to him and,

you know, where they're going over the rules

like, you didn't look in the package, did you?

And you see how he's just shifting his head a

little bit and moving his eyes. And it just really

added to the overall kind of menace of this character.

Oh yeah. Because the whole time he's playing

like this really sly like he's got those big

toothy smiles He's like hey, I like this guy

and you can't help but kind of like his character

just because he's got that real kind of person

that Was kind of got that magnetic personality

because everyone loves would love to be a criminal

and This guy looked like to be the best one there.

Yeah So basically, Frank breaks his rule, opens

the package, and sees the package, and gets her

a drink of soda or whatever it was. The rules

are designed to make things easier. One should

never break the rules. This leaves Wall Street

hires Frank to transport a briefcase. The briefcase

turns out to be a bomb that destroys Frank's

car at a roadside stop, but leaves him largely

unharmed. Frank returns to Wall Street's residence

with a vengeance, dispatching several of his

henchmen, and then stealing a car to get away,

only to find the package inside. The next day,

local police inspector Tarconi turns up at Frank's

door, and the inspector makes the usual inquiries,

producing a scorched license plate. The inspector

leaves and things quiet down, and then the missiles

hit the house. Oh boy. That poor house. That

that looked actually like a really cool house

They were old school and all that but yeah, they

actually they that there wasn't anything there

It was just a piece of land Stephen said in the

commentary. They actually built that house from

scratch. Oh Really? Yeah The poor house and the

poor friggin car. I love that BMW. Yeah, it's

a sexy bitch Yeah, that BMW was awesome. I like

the I was more of a fan of the Audi he drove

in the second one, but we'll get to that, so.

The BMW kicks the Audi's ass. I'm not saying

it's a bad car, I'm just saying I like the look

of the Audi in the second one. But no, I mean,

again, you've got to talk about the fight choreography

before it goes back to Wall Street's house, because

it has what a buddy of mine came up with this

idea, he called it the... S -A -H -M, the singular

action hero moment. Because I was telling him

we're going to be talking about these movies.

He's like, well, you know the singular action

hero moment is where he's fighting the guys and

they do that. He does that spin around. He looks

up and the camera slows down. You just see he

puts his hand behind, just plucks the gun as

it's falling and he brings it back up into the

guy's face. I'm just like... This man is God

I like to I like to the beginning of the scene

when it shows the house and it shows them going

to answer the Rung doorbell and he just runs

and kicks in the door Yeah, it's like front just

like this drop kicks the door knocks that guy

on his ass and he goes to town I think one of

the better elements of the fight scenes where

he's taken on the dude with the axe. Oh, yeah

That was just plain badass. Yeah, they said in

the commentary that it was very hard. There's

one point where he has to catch the axe or something,

not actually physically catching his hand, but

he has to like block it with, I don't know what

it was, another piece of metal or, I don't know,

might have been another sword or something. But

there's, it's kind of like, you know how that

triangle meets? On some weapons when people are

going to blog and he said that was an extremely

hard shot to get and you know one of the things

you need to bring up is Outside of maybe one

or two little spots Statham did all his own stunts.

Oh, yeah That's all him driving fighting everything

emoting Yeah Because let's face it most guys

aren't in the in an action movie It's not often

that the main hero is called upon to emote Yeah,

and I think he did it pretty good like he's one

of those he's got one of those guys It's got

that face that he twitches an eyebrow and you

get it and that kind of hell I think that kind

of worked when he's having the quiet moments

with the inspector Tarkoni and with the Like

way or yeah, whatever I can't pronounce her name

either But no, that's that was good. Yeah, and

then he gets out of there. She's in the car and

They go home and they have that little bit where

she shows up, I'm the maid, and the inspector's

like, right. That's what I loved about Francois

Berlian. How he makes that reference earlier

in the film is like, I like you, you got the

French humor, dry with a little bit of wit. You

can tell that's another guy he just plays it

all with his face. You just look at the inspector

When she says that and he looks at Frank looks

at her and he's just like, okay, I'm coming back

later Yeah So after After the house gets blown

up and all that stuff They They're at the police

station Lye sneaks into the computer and gets

The man Wall Street is trafficking a shipping

container full of Chinese people including her

own father and Family with no plans to let any

of them live Lye and Frank go to Wall Street's

office to find the shipping docket identifying

the container But are discovered by Wall Street

and nearly killed When an associate of Wall Street's

arrives with henchmen, the henchmen are knocking

Frank out and stop short of killing him when

the inspector arrives to investigate the man

whose face lie left up on his display. The inspector

arrests Frank to save him from Wall Street's

henchmen. At the police station, Frank does his

best to explain the situation to the inspector

and then manages an escape as the police look

helplessly. The inspector knows that Frank is

ex -military and the inspector is an ex -little

boy who wouldn't mind believing in a hero now

and then. Frank commandeers a watercraft and

other means of transport in search of the containers

and lye, with stunts and displays of martial

arts along the way. Oh god. I swear, Wikipedia

people suck. That is a concise and accurate description

if I've ever heard one. Pretty much. What happens

after the whole, you know, after Frank is arrested,

they let him go. He chases them down because

he steals a Lamborghini, I think, doesn't he?

No, that's the second film. He steals another

car. Or maybe it was them to say I fuck I can't

remember now Yeah, he's got the Mercedes still

and he follows them and he sees the trucks are

on this highway, but he can't get to him So he

like runs across the field to some crop duster

Yeah, it makes the crop duster dude At gunpoint

fly him over the truck with a parachute and he

jumps out of the plane onto the trucks It's basically

a complete reversal Fast and furious with Schultz's

character because Statham is on the side trying

to get into the truck. He kicks the first driver

out of the truck starts driving and then Schultz

shows up and They fight ins that that was actually

a actual truck cab while the truck was moving.

That was not a stage That was green screen. Yeah

They said so in the commentary but You know,

he finally wins, they free all the people, and

that's pretty much it. He goes back to... Good.

Well, I was just going to say, one of the things

that you find out... I forget if it was at the

office or after... I think it was at the office

where you find out that Lye's dad is working

with Wall Street. Right, yeah. I'd say it's at

the office. Yeah, and she's just playing she's

kind of been playing Frank the whole time. Yeah

and it goes on from there like You know they

Like they break in you know they have the big

reveal that lies dad's part of all this you know

the inspector arrests him so he doesn't get his

ass kicked and Eventually like it's before the

it's where Frank gets to the shipyard. This has

got to be like all hands down this isn't like

one of my all -time favorite top ten fight scenes

oh yeah the shipyard and then the bus depot yeah

where you know frank gets all you know he gets

all lubed up because he started he's fighting

like 20 guys at one time yeah and then he rolls

over pulls his you know for the ladies pulls

his shirt off he rolls he pulls uh Like an oil

barrel that's been cut in half with like mccatt

with grease pulls that heavyweight oil over him

He's all slicked up. He jumps in a bike. He snaps

off the pedals And now he's the only one with

any sort of traction and he proceeds to lay waste

to these guys. Oh, yeah, yeah, I Want to stay

them send the commentary when they rehearse that

scene there was no slippery floor They had to

rehearse it without being all slippery, because

you can only do that scene once. Yeah. But yeah,

I was wondering what the hell he had done when

he got on the bicycle, and then I realized, oh,

he broke the pedals off, and he's using them

as kind of like... Grips. Yeah, he's using them

as grips. I was like, oh, wow, that's amazing.

Almost reminded me of a frigging ballerina. I

know that's bad, but just the way that he was

moving. because the grace of all that yeah that

that and that goes to core UN like the fight

choreographer yeah and actually I was looking

here one of the guys you know so we're just before

he gets into like fighting guys inside of a bus

before the oil scene yeah he's fighting this

one guy There's a blonde like a blond and short

hair like this kind of pocket pointed nose, right?

I can't remember the guy's name But he's the

guy that like threw down with Chet Lee and kiss

of the dragon and he's in that movie He's he

was the guy kicking Bruce Willis's ass with all

the chop -sucking news and live free die hard.

Oh Yeah, I can't remember that guy's name, but

his name is either but yeah, but you see him

in here and again he's like He's worked with

Louis Leterrier a lot. Oh, it's Cyril Raffaele

or something like that. Yeah. But no, it's like

a great scene. Again, the choreography in this

movie is just how in the hell did they pull this

stuff off? Well, actually, it's funny. They don't

actually even mention Louis Leterrier at all

as the director. They mention Corey Newn or Young

or whatever his name is as the director, but

Apparently, Corey was doing actual filming. Oh

yeah, no. He did do a lot of the fight coordinating,

but he got a director's credit as well. Yeah.

Besson wrote the film. He's also produced it.

Yeah. But yeah, I think when it came to the fight

scenes, that's when UN took over. Right. for

pretty much everything else that Terry A was

doing. But yeah, I mean, overall, this movie

just, it came together so well. Yeah. And again,

it's in large part due to Statham, like this

guy. I thought he was the second coming of action

movies. So speaking of Statham, let's get into

like the who's who here in the cast. You know,

Statham is Frank and then Shu Kwai is Lai Kwai

and Francis Berland as Inspector Tarkony and

of course, Matt Schultz is Wall Street. Those

are really the main characters. I mean, yes,

you do have Rick Young as Mr. Kwai. It's funny

because I love Alias and there's a whole like

the whole first three seasons of alias this guy

I don't remember what his character name is in

alias but this guy is in the show and I had seen

this movie and I really really got creeped out

by the guy and then I had seen alias and I was

trying to think the whole time I was watching

alias where the hell have I seen him before because

I know he's been in a couple other things and

I remember him from this movie and he's just

a really really good villain Oh no, this guy's,

he's a character actor second to none. Oh yeah.

I mean, he was, played the boss, I can't remember

the guy's name, but he played like the mob boss

that Indiana Jones meets with in the beginning

of Temple of Doom. Temple of Doom sucked. Yeah.

I got nothing but love for Indiana Jones. So

that's like one of those movies is like, do you

hate it? Do you love it? Do you hate it? Do you

love it? It's like, I don't know. The only one

I like is Last Crusade, but that's just me. He

was in The Corrupter. He was in, actually, he

was in Kiss of the Dragon. Yeah. But, yeah, no,

aside from those five cast members, there's not

a whole lot of people you really notice, like

I said. I noticed Raphaeli there, but that's

only because, you know... You see a guy more

than once in a couple of movies. You tend to

remember his face Yeah, yeah, and and stay from

just you know like like you've said just amazing

The guy has a lot a lot of acting chops, and

I mean he's done so much since this I mean say

even since this whole you know this little trilogy

of transporter films You know you got him in

crank to crank and crank to you got him in snatch

The Expendables. The Italian job. I'm still waiting

for the sequel to that. The bank job was a really

good one, too. Yeah, it was. You gonna die on

me, Mike? No. Okay, I was scared I was gonna

have to carry the show there for a second. No,

all right. Who's your favorite character? Okay,

Frank's a given. That's like asking, you know,

who's your favorite bond? It's always going to

be Connery for me. So Frank's a given. I really

loved Inspector Tarkony. Him and Wall Street

are kind of neck and neck, but Tarkony kind of

pulls it off because he's just got that, you

know, I've seen everything. He's just kind of

writing out his last few days. in the police

departments, and he just had this wit. He's a

straight man on top of Frank being a straight

man. Well, the thing with Frank and Tarconi is

Tarconi knows. I mean, Tarconi knows about his

past. Tarconi knows what he does, but obviously

Frank is the type of guy that, you know... He

won't let anyone get hurt or he doesn't intentionally

go out to hurt people. The whole point of Frank's

rules system is the rules keep you in line, the

rules keep from stupid, crazy shit that isn't

supposed to happen from happening. And Tarconi,

he knows what he does, but he lets him kind of

go because it's not an immediate threat. Like

I said, Frank isn't out to hurt people. I'd say

he doesn't know, but he suspects. It's kind of

like Commissioner Gordon in Batman. It's more

than likely Bruce Wayne, but I'm not sure. For

me, obviously Frank. Even though I hate the name,

I hate the nickname, but I did like the Wall

Street character. It was very, very cool. He

actually does look into the notes here. It's

never really mentioned except for the scene at

the office. Yeah, he does have an actual name.

It's Darren Bentoncourt, but yeah. What do you

got? As far as good and bad and the ugly, there

really isn't any ugly to this movie. And there

really isn't any bad parts. I don't think it's,

you know, it's amazing fight choreography like

we've said. Amazing driving scenes. Yeah, no,

I think the only Well, yeah, you're right. Like

I think even look at like the camera work and

the quick cuts and the editing. It's not It's

not like the Tourette syndrome that some modern

action movies have how it just you know, it flips

back and forth for It kind of messes with you

watching it, right? I think that the editing

like the camera work is very well done the And

the dialogue in certain scenes, like that argument

and all doing that first chase scene were really

good. My only gripe with this movie is like,

did we really need to have Frank hooking up with

the chick? I mean, I know she's playing him,

but that felt like a little over the top -ish.

I'm not against a sex scene. I'm just saying

it just... Right, right. For the grand scheme

of the movie, it just didn't really make that

much sense. I think she had, well, you know,

like you said, she was playing him, but she had

to fully play on his emotions and she had to

fully take advantage of him the best way that

she knew how. And, you know, being a woman, that's

the best way she knew how. Or Frank knew and

he's just like, you know what? I don't even care.

Well, maybe that is too. So getting into some

box office and reception stuff. Transporter was

released to mixed to average critical reception.

Rotten Tomatoes has the film at an average rating

of 53%. Metacritic has it listed at 51%. The

consensus is that the Transporter delivers the

action at the expense of coherent storytelling.

Well, I disagree with that. And of course, that

asshole Roger Ebert took the opposite stance,

saying, too much action brings the movie to a

dead standstill. Eric Harrison of the Houston

Chronicle says, it's junk with a capital J. The

sooner you realize that, the more quickly you

can settle down to enjoying it. I disagree. Well,

Ebert I've never really cared for. Yeah, no one

ever really cared for Ebert. The guy, I mean,

it's like, how can you taste the chocolate covered

peanuts when your head is that firmly up your

ass? But what Harrison said I kind of agree what

he's saying like not jump not the junk thing

But it says the sooner you realize that you're

watching an action movie The more quickly you

can get down to enjoying it. I think with a lot

of action movies people We got to realize you

don't need a hundred and ten percent of your

brain capacity you need like that fifty percent

That's like ooh explosions Well, you know for

me the thing is again, you know different elements

bring you into something and for me the music

and just the action in general brought me into

this film and I you know there is a clear -cut

story you got a guy who's gonna like I said get

a guy set of rules wants to follow the rules

unfortunately has to break the rules because

of shit that people get him into and then you

have all these fight scenes you have the twist

with the father being involved and then you have

you know the ending uh... i mean it is a fairly

you know one two three beginning middle and then

there really isn't like it's not a constant misdirection

of you know who's who's the bad guy who's this

who's that uh... you know what are you going

to do uh... as far as the agent replacement crew

uh... we've talked about this a few times since

we've had this new format one is the worst and

four is the best and i'm giving this a four actually

have the uh... the two -pack uh... the two -pack

uh... transporter collection dvd so i have the

uh... this one unlike uh... summer catch and

the money train actually own this one uh... it's

the special it's a single this special delivery

edition But yeah, no, it's it's a solid four

for me. I mean I'd say two through four on the

list. There's I'm the type of guy that you know,

it's like an automatic instinct for me If I'm

watching a movie and it's crap, but I still kind

of enjoy it My brain just automatically turns

itself off. Mm -hmm. Yeah Sometimes if the movie

is so unapologetically stupid I will Sometimes

watch it till the end Sometimes I will stop half

hour in. Yeah. How bad it is. But this movie,

you know, it caught me. I don't think it really

insulted anyone's intelligence. And I think overall

it was a very well done movie. Yes, I completely

agree. And before we move on to the sequel, it

is on DVD. It's on, you know, it has multiple

editions. The special delivery edition is probably

the best one. And like I said, I have the transporter

collection, which includes one and two. And for

one, it is the special delivery edition. So it's

got the commentary and the 15 minutes of unrated

extended fight sequences with optional commentary,

behind the scenes documentary, in -depth storyboard

to film comparison, and all that happy stuff.

Um, I guess we are gonna move on. You're gonna

hear the trailer for Transporter 2. Yeah. I'm

looking for a transporter. I'm listening. It

was supposed to be an easy assignment. Hey, hey!

What's the first rule when entering a man's car?

Good. This was a favor. I don't usually do this

sort of a job. I thought you were a professional

driver. A different kind of driving. But in Frank

Martin's line of work Jack Billings to see Dr.

Coughlin? Room three on your left. Nothing is

ever what it seems. Jack! Keep going, Jack! Two

hours to get me $20 million in non -sequential

$100 bills. Two hours, Mr. Billings. Starting

now. We don't know who we're dealing with. We

think the driver may be in on it. That's impossible.

Now. He could have been setting us up the whole

time and you wouldn't have known any different.

Got him. The best in the business. Is it stable?

Yes. It's stable. Good. He's back in the game.

What do you know? It's more than a kidnapping.

What are you gonna do? Find the guy responsible.

He's your friend? Jason Stinkham. Hold on. Just

came out of the dry cleaners. Impressive. Transporter

2. Alright, we are back and it is time to talk

about Transporter 2 which is the 2005 action

film directed by Louis Le Terrier again and produced

by Luke Besson. It was the sequel to The Transporter.

It is itself followed by Transporter 3. Jason

Statham returns as Frank Martin, a professional

transporter who delivers packages without questions.

Set in Miami, Florida, he chauffeurs a young

boy who is soon kidnapped who Frank tries to

save. Director Louis Le Terrier said that Frank

Martin is the first gay action movie hero Coming

out when he said it's because of who I am however

this appears at odds by Frank's heterosexual

relationship in the first and third films You

know I'm sorry if I am gonna drowned and the

only human next to me that has any breath of

air left that I can steal, I'm gonna steal it.

And that's not me admitting that I have gay tendencies

at all, I don't. And there's nothing wrong with

being gay, but I'm sorry if you're in that situation

in some, you know, that you could possibly die

and the only thing that you have is, you know,

whatever. And the whole scene is, you know, Frank

is underwater, the guy who he dragged underwater

with him is, you know, has like one breath left.

And it wasn't really a kiss, it was more of,

you know, more of the, you know, survival of

the fittest thing. Yeah. Where's Bonecrusher

when you really need him? That's just a comment

that has like no basis in reality. I know, I

know. So getting into the plot for this one,

as I said, he's relocated from southern France

to Miami, Florida. where he is driving for the

wealthy Billings family, headed by Jefferson

Billings, played by Matthew Modine. Frank has

unexpectedly bonded with the Billings' son, Jack,

played by Hunter Clary, whom he drives to and

from elementary school in his new Audi A8W12.

Yeah, no. Bring back the goddamn BMW. Frank is

also preparing for the arrival of Inspector Tarconi.

His detective friend from France who has come

to spend his holiday in Florida with Frank Frank

takes Jack to a doctor's checkup only to be ambushed

by a gang of ruthless criminals dressed as doctors

who are attempting to inject Jack with a deadly

virus What did you think in the beginning of

this one? Well, I like how initially you know

the beginning of the film sets up It mirrors

the or the first one with him in the parking

garage yeah yeah and uh it has that great line

it's like please just cut it out of the dry cleaners

when this gang sets upon him oh yeah that's right

that's right and it was really cool and it just

you know another scene to showcase the fact that

you know jason statham is a badass mother yep

uh but no i like i love how they mirrored the

first scene like that and uh You know and then

he wonders he's on his way to another job and

then you find out that his job is to be the chauffeur

for this kid Jack Who was like a really cute

kid? He was just like one of those kids just

like you know what you're all right and Right

from the start I kind of got the idea the mum

was like crushing on Frank You know, it's funny

the only other place I've seen her her name her

real name in real life is Amber Valletta or I

think that's how you say it. Yeah The only place

that I really remember her from and it was just

like a brief little cameo she was Nicholas Cage's

lady friend when he wasn't married to Tae Leoni

and family man the Paula chick in the black dress

Okay, and family man and when I saw her in this

I'm like that's the same person Wow, I mean she's

still hot and everything else. It's just just

a completely different look Yeah, I didn't really

remember her at all until I saw it like hitch

a couple years later She's like the main female

lead in that besides No, what's her name from

ghost writer Oh Eva Mendes. That's it. You know

nice to look at can't remember her name But yeah,

no the way they started this movie and like I

said is really cool and right up where Frank

takes The son, you know Jack to the doctor's

office and I gotta say Sexiest damn nurse ever.

Yeah Like she's played by this model named Kate

nada and I was like No, no, it's not nada. It's

not tea. There's not tea because I'm sorry you

see that Frank's checking her out He's like,

yeah, maybe not appropriate workplace attire.

Then she whips it open. She pulls out like these

silent oozes You know, yeah jacks in the clips

and she starts going like psychotic on everything.

I'm just kind of like, you know what? That's

hot. Yeah, it is And the one thing I noticed

the the guy plays the henchman That like fakes

being the doctor there Yeah, Demetri Jason Fleming.

That's the guy who played Mr. Hyde in League

of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Oh, okay. I know

I've seen him from somewhere else. Yeah. That's

the only place I remember him from. He's also

in Lock, Stock and Toom with Smoking Barrels

and Snatch. So he's had probably like good friends

with Statham because he was in both those movies.

Right. Just looking at his Wikipedia page, he

was in... I can't believe I'm admitting that

I've ever seen this, but he was in friggin' Spice

World, the movie. It's okay to follow your hormones,

Mike. It's perfectly natural. Anyways, that was

a number of years ago. You're not that sort of

guy anymore. But yeah, no. Back to the movie.

Yeah, really. The fight in the doctor's office

was kind of cool now I wasn't able to get a copy

of them filmed to watch before we did this so

I'm kind of going off recollections here. Yeah

the fight in the doctor's office was amazing

because you know you've got this this hot chick

with these you know double oozy silencers and

she's just firing all over the place and then

you know you got Frank thinking on his feet.

I think he grabs some sort of, I know it's a

flammable object, but it might have been a NOS

tank, not a NOS tank, a um... Fire extinguisher?

Yeah, yeah, nitrous oxide. You know, laughing

gas. And he just like launches it. And the sprinkler

system comes on and everybody gets wet and she's

still firing and whatever else. The only thing

I didn't really get was... They were... Jack

showed Frank something in the corner of one of

the rooms they were in. And they ended up crawling

through this vent space. But there was some sort

of sound ripple that vibrated back to where the

hot chick with the guns was. And she's like,

oh shit, they're leaving or whatever else. I

didn't really understand what that whole sound

thing was. That was my only real complaint about

the doctor's office stuff. Yeah, yeah Let's see

here Frank then drives Lola. Oh, yeah, that's

the thing Let's see in Jack Jack lengthy fight

erupts between the armed villainous Lola and

the unarmed Frank nevertheless Frank is able

to escape Jack With Jack Frank drives back to

Jack's house, but Lola arrives and forces her

way into his car when he is held at a standoff

by an unseen sniper capable of penetrating the

car's bulletproof glass. Frank then drives Lola

and Jack away from the oncoming police units

in a long chase sequence. Again, the chase sequences

in these movies are amazing. You take that five

feet of awesome, you multiply it by the speed

at which the car is traveling, you will make

any jump at any time. Because just that scene

where he's like, again, crazy driving through

the streets, gets into the parking garage, you

know, he's just corkscrews up to the top. You

don't even know what he's doing. All of a sudden

you see him running. They do like that half speed

running through the wall. And I'm just like,

holy shit. Well, it was part of the trailer he

he does this like when he gets up to you know

the top of the the one parking garage He does

this kind of like, you know stop and stare type

of thing where he's you know he's holding the

gas and the brake at the same time to rev the

back wheels and He does this weird jump between

the two parking garages. Yeah, and it was just

amazing Because you just watch you just like

you are the man. Yep, exactly So they arrive

at the warehouse occupied by a gang led by Gianni

who is played by Alessandro Gassman, the Italian

antagonist and ringleader of the operation. Frank

is forced to leave Jack in the hands of Gianni

and his gang. While leaving the warehouse he

discovers an explosive attached to the car and

succeeds in removing it prior to detonation.

Now if you thought The parking garage scene was

awesome. This was ten times more awesome. You

will believe an Audi 5000 can fly. It's not even

about it flying, it's just about the way that

he got the damn explosive device off the freaking

car. It's like, oi, mate, can you scratch a brother's

back? Cause he just like, you don't even see

him line it up really, and he's just like, boom,

ramp. Corkscrew bomb gun lands without barely

a scratch or a rock rocking motion to his car.

Yep, that was just amazing Jack is later returned

to his family after the payment of the ransom

but unknown to them and Frank Jack has been infected

with a deadly virus that will eventually kill

anyone that comes into contact with it within

a span of 48 hours Frank decides to take matters

into his own hands and finds out one of the fake

doctors that kidnapped Jack and pretends to infect

the Russian henchman, Dmitri, with the same virus.

Dmitri panics and hurries to his lab to get the

cure, but Frank follows him and takes the antidote

from him. After disposing of Dmitri, Frank faces

the doctor in charge of the lab. The doctor hurls

the only two vials and containing the antidote

out of the window, and Frank quickly jumps to

catch them. He lands in the car and catches one,

only to find it broken. He saves the other vial

from being run over by a truck. Frank sneaks

back into the building's home and explains his

innocence to Audrey, the only one who trusts

him. Jack is cured, but he had already been breathed

on his mother and his father, who is the director

of the National Drug Control Policy. Jack's father

is taking part of the major conference, which

brings together the heads of many anti -drug

organizations from around the world. Frank learns

that through Jack's infected father, a Colombian

drug cartel wishes to infect and kill all of

the conference attendees so that the cartel's

cocaine smuggling business can operate without

interference. Now, I gotta say, I don't ever

remember in the actual movie I mean, I know that

the villains said something about politicians

or something or other, but I don't ever remember

them bringing up Jefferson Billings, his job.

They've said in the movie that because of his

job that they're targets and because he's gotten

famous and blah, blah, blah, blah. I thought

he was a freaking movie star or something like

that. I didn't think he was a freaking politician.

Mean it looks like a politician, but I mean it

just just the way that they portrayed in the

film And they don't really tell you what his

job is and it's like really that's what his damn

job is Well, yeah, I mean it's never until You

know it's actually said to you it's never really

implied or anything you really have no idea why

the kids kidnapped Yeah, it doesn't quite make

that much sense. I think it plays for the movie

well enough but yeah it's just uh the scene where

again you gotta go back to the like the fight

choreography for the oh yeah scene where frank's

in the house and he's whipping ass on the cops

on the stairs and he's you know throws the handcuffs

up catches them he's got them cuffed together

in like a way that i didn't think is you know

physically possible but uh no i mean overall

it was it was decent scene, but yeah, it's the

whole setup for like why Jack was kidnapped,

why he was infected. You know, you find out Gianni's

like, you know, the head of or working for this,

you know, drug smuggling cartel. It's the, if

there's a sore point in the movie, it's the,

you don't get a lot of explanations until well

after the fact. Right, which is kind of the problem

with this scene where it's like oh he was infected

because his dad's like this national drug policy

guy and It's all getting that the father and

it's like really Would have been nice to know

that before and might have ramped up the tension

or something like no No, you weren't supposed

to pay the ransom. It's just a smoke screen,

but it's an action movie. I'm overthinking this

Yeah Yeah, exactly I mean What follows after

this is you know if I might read from the script

for a bit. That's fine It's like Frank drives

to the henchman's garrison house or the French

henchman garrison house of Gianni who's already

injected himself with the remaining Supply of

the antidote to hide it from capture that I thought

was a really cool scene like this Gianni guy

like we first meet him the movie He's doing this

kendo in the out in his like back lawn. You know

he's got like the columns with like the Blowing

scarf blanket things which you know every drug

dealer badass has to have you know makes them

seem like intellectual or something He's taking

on like six guys It just goes to the ward showing

that this guy is a badass. It's like Frank's

opposite number and He's sitting there and one

of his henchmen comes like what are you doing?

It's like you think they're gonna mess with me

if they know I'm the only thing that can cure

this disease because he's sitting there and he's

like sucking it. It looks like grape Kool -Aid.

Yeah. That's what I loved about the cure. It's

like Kool -Aid. You're like, hey, Kool -Aid.

Kool -Aid man busts in, gives you a glass, you're

good to go. But yeah, no, I just thought that

was a really badass scene. Oh, it is. It is a

completely badass scene, but oh, man, grape Kool

-Aid illusions. Yikes. Well, what else was I

going to say? It certainly didn't look like Sour

Puss. Could have been Grimace Juice. Yeah. Okay,

look Mike. I won't bring up the certain DC hero

that you're nicknamed. Shut up. Okay. Anyway,

so following a fight in the garage and another

one in which he uses a firehose to fight off

the villains, Frank finds Gianni and holds him

at gunpoint. But Lola shows up. Leaving Lola

to deal with Frank, Gianni flees the scene. Frank

kills her by kicking her into a wall of spikes.

The end No again fright choreography like just

that scene in the garage where he uses the fire

hose in two very different ways first he's like

looping it over paint cans and like just catapulting

them at these guys heads and They're just like

ricocheting off. He's taking them all out one

by one But then you notice that he's got all

these guys wrapped up in the hose. Yeah And he

turns it on and this thing, it's like Dr. Octopus's

arms. It just comes to life, filling with water

and whipping these guys off in all directions.

And is it just me or did this Gianni have like

an overabundance of scaffolding in his garage?

That's too much scaffolding. Even for a drug

dealer. Like, come on. What was he doing? Building

onto the garage? He's dragging a secret sabbatical

in the basement. Sorry? No, that's fine. Again,

the highlight of this scene was the fight with

Lola, because this girl is seriously off her

nut. Just the scene where they do some sort of

Hong Kong -style kung -fu fight and grabbing

on the drapes or whatever, and they're whipping

back and forth at each other. Like I said, I'm

going off my recollections here. Where he kicks

her into the spikes and she dies like that, it's

like, don't say a line, don't say a line, because

it's just so badass the way he took her out.

But if that had been a Bond movie, you know Bond

would have like, stick around honey, or something

like that. Yeah, something like that. So then

we've got Frank following Gianni, who is making

an escape in his helicopter to a waiting jet

at the airport using a Lamborghini Murcia Lago.

From Gianni's garage, Frank speeds to the airport

and boards Gianni's jet by driving onto the runway

and climbing into the jet's nose gear. Leaving

the Lamborghini to collide with the sign at the

end of the runway, and the explosion damages

the aircraft's landing gear. Frank gets into

the interior of the plane and through the open

wheel well While the copilot comes to investigate

the damaged landing gear Frank breaks his neck

And quickly confronts Gianni who pulls a gun

and Frank thwarts his attempt to fire the weapon

They begin wrestling for the gun Gianni is able

to take a shot at Frank who narrowly dodges the

bullet the round hits the pilot and the plane

eventually crashes into the ocean Now what Wikipedia

doesn't tell you is the way the plane crashed

into the ocean because after the pilot gets hit

it does this like like you know 10 80 14 50 corkscrew

and it was just that whole flying scene was just

amazing that whole plane scene was just amazing

uh gianni tries to strangle frank but frank manages

to break gianni's spine with his elbow Rendering

Gianni alive but immobile, Frank then pushes

his captive and himself out of the sinking plane.

On the ocean's surface, police teams arrive,

the billings have been given the antidote, and

Frank goes to visit them in the hospital. Before

entering their room, he sees them with Jack,

who is joking with them, and he silently walks

back to his car, where Tarconi is waiting. He

drops his friend at the airport. Alone, Frank

is about to drive away when he receives a call

from a man who needs a transporter. That's one

of the things I love about these the first two

films is you have you know You brought it up

earlier the first film you have the garage scene

at the end you have him, you know receiving a

call second film you have the exact same thing

where You know, you've got the same image in

them in the beginning Which is him in the garage

and at the end you have him getting another call

and I just absolutely love that Yeah, no, it's

pretty good. I mean even Turconi didn't really

go over that too much, but I mean Tarconi had

his own little thing to do in this movie. He

gets arrested at Frank's home, then he's in the

police station. He's feeding Frank information

the whole way, which was pretty cool. And I don't

know, but yeah, there's the look on Gianni's

face where Frank just, you know, it's like, Frank

gives his look at his eyes. He's like, okay,

buddy, you're going down just boom. makes him

a quadriplegic. Just the look of Gianni's face

where he slaps like the life preserver over him

and he's just got this look. He's like, what

the hell, man? Can't do nothing about it, but

he's like, how dare you touch me? You know, and

Frank gets down, he goes back. I thought it was

really cool. Like he can see... That Frank, you

know, like you know in the beginning movie that

he's kind of bonded with Jack and he's you know

Uncle Frank at this point and he sees the families

come back together because the wife is talking

about How they you know, it's he's the husband's

been away for a while, you know, they've been

separated for like a year You have the scene

earlier in the film where Frank's like on the

phone bitching out You know Pizza Hut or whatever

and she shows up and she's half cut Yeah, and

I gotta say that scene was just like Okay, you

know what to do Frank, you're a man, she's a

woman. Well, at least he respected her enough

not to, she wasn't some old Chinese whore. I

thought it was really cool how you see that he's

kind of, without intending to, he's entered their

lives like this. Yeah. And then he sees the families

back together and Jack's dropping the riddle

on his dad and he's just, you know what? My job

is done. He does that kind of Classic cowboy

thing you drops the flowers and he walks off

into the metaphorical sunset. Oh, yeah Much getting

into the cast here much bigger cast this time

around I don't know if it was the fact that it

was listed as a French film for the first movie

or whatever um... but i mean the first movie

like we said doesn't really have me outside of

like matthew schultz and jason statham and the

other guy uh... the mister quiet and the plug

the guy who plays uh... mister quiet really has

no star power really i mean you know statham

aside and matthew schultz aside other than those

two at least for me it's pretty much a bunch

of unknowns but here you've got Statham, Amber

Valletta, Matthew Modine, which I didn't think

I'd see him in a transporter movie. Then you

got the hot chick with the guns, Kate Notta.

Then you got Keith David. What the hell is Goliath

doing in this? You know what? I saw this movie

in... Theaters like here in Saskatoon with a

couple of buddies and Keith David's one of those

guys like Bruce Willis and Kurt Russell and I'm

gonna swear here just you know, fair warning.

He's like doesn't matter I know I'm just being

like, you know, but he's one of those guys that

you see him and you're like It's Keith motherfucking

David. It's just like you know, this movie's

gotten like ten percent a hundred and ten percent

better Because this guy is just a badass without

even trying You don't even have to see Keith

David as long as you hear his voice He is a badass

the dude was spawn he voiced spawn in the cartoon

like yeah He's done so many things that I've

loved but yeah, it's like Keith David showed

up And I was like okay interest restored no exactly

exactly Who is your favorite character in this

one? Well, okay, again, aside from Frank, I'm

gonna cop it. It was Lola. I'm sorry. I'm a filthy,

filthy man. I like Lola, but I, you know, as

far as characters go, this guy, this villain

didn't really appeal to me whatsoever. I mean,

yeah, he is very sinister. Yes, he is extremely

evil, but I don't know. It's just, it's not...

It's not my cup of tea, but you know Frank aside

mine would probably have to be Matthew Modine

just the way that he acts as as Jefferson Billings

the way he treats his wife which is kind of underhanded

and everything else and It's just one of those

things where I just didn't think I'd see Modine

and a character like that Yeah, I can't remember

The move any movie that I've really seen I've

been since this and I certainly couldn't remember

what the last movie was I saw him before that

Yeah, buddy, but you know him from like classic

80s movies and bunch of stuff. But yeah, and

again the like I said, I like Lola I Kind of

liked the villain Keith David was awesome. I

really liked like The Amber Valletta is the mother

yeah as audrey like because she she was it seemed

like the only other like fully fleshed out character

on the good guy's side besides frank oh yeah

because you know i love turconi and turconi had

like funny little character moments but he he

was almost a non -entity in this movie like he

didn't have anything no he really didn't it's

just like hey it's this guy from the first movie

we're bringing him back to know there's continuity

yeah But yeah, no. Unlike some other things that

aren't in continuity. Yeah. Like, I'm sorry.

Teen Titans. Yeah, let's not go there, Mike.

Teen Titans is not in continuity. Yeah, I know.

Just don't sip the Kool -Aid, Mike. But yeah,

aside from Frank Lola, because I'm just like,

I'm sorry, I like crazy chicks. But she was about

the craziest thing in this movie. Yep, she was.

So I guess we can get into kind of like the reception

stuff here. It opened in the U .S. on September

2nd, 2005. During its opening weekend, the film

grossed $16 million in the U .S. and total it

earned $43 million in the U .S. and $85 million

worldwide. The film has received mixed reactions

as of March 16th, 2008 on Metacritic The Transporter

2. had an average score of 56 out of 100 based

on 29 reviews. According to Rotten Tomatoes,

the film received 50 % positive reviews based

on 108 reviews. The film has also received a

rating of 42 % from top critics, however Roger

Ebert of the Chicago Sun -Times awarded the film

3 stars out of 4 and called it better than the

original. I don't know. I think the original

has a one, two, three plot. This one has more

twists to it than anything else. And that's one

of the things I don't really like about this

one. It has too many twists and turns. Well,

I think what worked for the first one, it was

made much more with a European mindset as far

as how their movies go. Like, Lotteria was in

his element. He was in his country. He knew exactly

what he was doing there, but he was shooting

it more for a European crowd this one was you

can tell the way the plot you know, it's gonna

have twists and turns and stunts and explosions

and Sexiness and whatnot and Lola. Yeah. Sorry

just went to the happy place there But yeah,

no, it's this move is made like it's unapologetically

American in terms of like the action and the

story Because you don't really have to think

at all watching this movie Hmm yeah, that's just

true very very very true and Which is why I kind

of find it surprising that you know, mr Ebert

gave it a higher score than he did the first

one He called it better than the originals like

I didn't me personally. I didn't think it was

better than the original But I think it is I

think of it in terms of Ghostbusters 2. It's

not as it's not better than Ghostbuster or than

the first transporter but it does alright yeah

yeah as far as IGN crew one to four obviously

since I have the two pack I give it a four it

does have a really a lot of great action scenes

and I mean hell anytime you can see a Lamborghini

blow up that's just awesome yeah no it's a solid

four for me and I'm not one to really use Netflix

or anything like that, so I'm gonna say it's

a Followed up by the two, you know, if you've

got see it on TV. Oh, yeah, you know, it's worth

viewing. Yeah, exactly Go over to the DVD release

for this one Apparently there are uncensored

DVD and blu -ray releases for this in 2006 Louis

Leteria re -released an uncensored version of

transporter 2 on DVD The uncensored release is

roughly 25 seconds longer. Oh, hey Yeah, Sheldon.

Yeah, okay, anyway. Anybody saw Big Bang Theory

this past Thursday, they know what I'm talking

about. It's 25 seconds longer than the theatrical

cut, and contains improved CGI, particularly

during the car chase from the hospital, as well

as the private jet scene. This release also contains

more violent footage and blood during the fight

scenes, and contains more nudity in certain scenes

with Lola. It is available in Japan, France,

and the UK, both R2 and PayPal, as well as Thailand

R3 and TSC. Also available on Blu -ray Disc in

France and Japan, both releases are region free.

I guess we've kind of really given our final

thoughts already, but just overall, for me, I

like the action in it but I still prefer the

first film to this one just the whole plot in

this one it just didn't really do it for me and

yes I know it's an action movie you're not supposed

to go for plot but if you're gonna have a character

like Frank Martin the way he is there has to

be some sort of ABC plot there can't just be

a bunch of twists turns and all this stuff Yeah,

no, it's uh, I mean that's why I was I'm gonna

say I was I was disappointed slightly with this

one Versus the first one because the first one

was fairly intelligent in terms of the plot You

know there were some Like I said, there were

a few nitpicks, but I mean it was a really well

done film in right this one It's like every other

action movie that's come out of the states of

this caliber you know up until like the Bourne

movies which is more of an action thriller but

you know this it looks like it was trying to

inject itself with some 80s awesomeness and they

just kind of overdosed I seriously don't ever

want to see a talking Audi especially if William

Daniels voice is coming out of it oh god that's

you know it was Bad enough when you watch Knight

Rider 2000. I like the 57 Chevy kit, but when

they put them in that new Knight Rider... That

was cool. Shut up. That's a topic for another

day. Alright, so we're gonna move on. You're

gonna hear the theatrical trailer for Transformers

3. Yeah, I'm sure everybody wants to hear the

theatrical trailer for Transformers 3, which

hasn't even come out yet. Sure do include Linkin

Park. Oh god. The theatrical trailer for Transporter

3 and we will come back with that discussion.

My boss said you're the man for the job. One

condition. I drive my own car. Can you remove

it? There's a transmitter plate close by. If

I do, boom. You can mention you bring company.

It's not really company. It's complicated. With

you, it's always complicated. And finally, in

this Transporter franchise episode of MY, we

have Transporter 3, which is a 2008 French action

film, and is the third and final installment

in the Transporter film series, as well as the

first not to be distributed by 20th Century Fox

in the United States. Both Jason Statham and

Francis Borland Berlin reprised their roles as

Frank Martin and Tarkoni respectively. This is

the first film in the series to be directed by

Oliver Megatron. Oh no, Megaton. Wow. I swear

when I first read that, when I first read that

before we even started recording this episode,

I swear it said Megatron. I know when I was reading

that before I was like, make it. The leader of

the Decepticons directed a transporter movie?

Yeah, exactly. His first name is Oliver? Wow.

Well, you know, it's better than Dylan Megatron.

Eh, not by much. Well... Stupid Facebook group

crap. The film continues the story of Frank Martin,

a professional quote -unquote transporter who

has returned to France to continue his low -key

business of delivering packages without questions.

I have not seen this movie, I will freely admit

that. I wanted to see it when it came out in

theaters, I wanted to see it when it hit red

box, and I just haven't had the time. Well, I

can certainly take over if you'd like. Yeah.

Well, as far as, because I watched it tonight,

because I actually have it on my computer. It

basically opens, the plot of the movie opens

with this ship transporting toxic waste in somewhere

in the European Sea. I forget which one exactly.

Somewhere off the coast of like, what country

is Budapest in? Hungary. Yeah, it's like off

the coast of Hungary. There's this ship carrying

toxic waste. They got to wait for clearance to

come into ports. No one really knows that they're

carrying toxic waste. It's on the Black Sea.

And from there it goes into you see this guy

transporting this cute looking redheaded party

girl in the back seat of a car and there's something

going on there. And from then on we move and

we see Frank's come back to Europe. He's You

know buddies with Tarkoni. They're out fishing

and Frank goes to a Meeting well he goes home

and this guy that's driving the party girl crashes

through his wall and it goes to a flashback where

Frank goes to a meeting with these guys try to

hire him and he knows something's not on the

up -and -up and He gets into a fight and it's

one of the best It's not one of the best ever,

but it's a really well -done choreographed fight.

Frank goes back to the present, the authorities

arrive to deal with this guy who's dying, pulls

him out of the car, take him away, and the guy's

fighting the whole time. All of a sudden, the

ambulance that this guy's in blows up. From there,

Frank is... kidnapped by some thugs. He wakes

up in a room, you know, stripped to the waist.

He's got this funny -looking silver manacle on

his hand. And he gets out and he finds this closet

and he finds a suit neatly pressed. He gets dressed.

In comes a guy named Robert Kepper. Well, it's

the actor's name. He plays... I gotta look on

that list here. He's known as T -Bag from Prison

Break. That's like the character's name. He's

known as a guy only known as Johnson. Johnson's

this guy who's trying to get the toxic waste

shift into port, but you find out that the girl

that the first, like the dude that got blown

up transporting, she's the daughter of like this

environmental minister who's he's the only guy

that can allow this ship into the port. Yeah.

So essentially it's like a shell game to, you

know, You help us out. We give you your daughter.

You don't help us out. You'd never see your daughter

again So Frank's pressed into service to try

to follow this guy's instructions to cart this

girl over and this is kind of where the plot

falls apart in a way that It's never it's never

explained why the villains plot or plan involves,

you know, if they want the toxic waste in the

country, you know Kidnap the girl and threaten

the father. He signs the papers the ships and

port but for some reason You know, they're trucking

her all over Europe like this And from there,

it's just one thing after another that and I'm

giving a really bare -bones so you can get into

moments as we go here But the fact Frank goes

he's driving Driving part of the way he goes

to his mechanic named Otto Otto's this like big

kind of German type guy who's like done work

for Frank before he's trying to find where the

bomb transmitter is in the car because that silver

manacle on his hand is a magnetically activated

explosive that if he goes 50 feet from the car,

one part of the explosive initiates. If he goes

75 or further, he blows up. Wow, that reminds

me of the scene in Wild Wild West where they're

in that damn cornfield. Oh yeah, with the flying

razor discs? Yep. Not nearly as goofy, but just

about. Yeah. So, and when they get to Otto's

shop, you see this guy knows this car. This thing

is tricked out like the Batcave. And while Otto's

checking out the car, obviously this guy Johnson's

been keeping track through GPS. He sends like

a crew of guys to get Frank back on the road.

And he has like one of the coolest fight scenes

in the movie. Cause again, it's reminiscent.

He doesn't get oiled up like he did in the first

one, but it's reminiscent of the first movie

of How he's taken on like 15 guys at once and

kicking all their ass. Yeah They get back on

the road. They stopped this one time and They

realized that the this environmental minister

has actually got guys looking for his daughter

and they managed to track Frank down But because

Frank's got this explosive on his wrist. He can't

let these guys interfere with anything so Leads

to a I don't want to say fairly standard car

chase scene, but it's nothing it's not that epic

it's not like those two films at all yeah it's

like they got this one scene where he's like

ripping down the highway and there's two semi

trailers running and he does like the classic

you know runs between them and then the guys

are try to do that and they don't quite make

it and then frank runs them off the road and

through all the excitement and uh adrenaline

pumping him and this girl named valentina managed

to fall in love which I can kind of see why she

would fall in love with him because you know

in an extremely intense situation you got this

guy kicking a lot of ass and he's obviously an

alpha male women are gonna fall for him and Like

I want to like this movie so bad, but I can't

it sounds like it has Ten times more plot twist

than the second one did and they try to cram

all those plot twists into the first one like

I mean, long story short, eventually Frank gets

to a point where Johnson comes and takes Valentina

from him, because obviously whatever plan he

was working with having Frank drive her around

isn't working. He takes Valentina, tries to assassinate

Frank, or force him out of the car so he'll blow

up. Frank gets away by driving off this bridge

into a lake. survives basically by sucking the

air out of one of his tires. He calls Tarkoni.

Tarkoni comes and helps him fix up his car. Frank

takes off again, because he's still got to get

Johnson to get this device off his thing. And

I'm amazed after driving off a bridge. For a

second there, I thought you almost said he's

got to get somebody to get this device off his

Johnson. Oh god, I mean, seriously, it ends up,

it's got this fairly cool scene where Frank drives

off another bridge onto this train where Johnson

and Valentina and all the thugs are, gets in,

has a pretty cool fight scene in this, like,

confined space like that, and it gets to a point

where... Johnson has gotten almost the says he's

gone a little further than 75 feet away from

Frank and Frank's here's the thing beeping like

it's about to engage and Johnson walks right

up just like come on take another step do it

you know it you know he's like trying to egg

Frank on Frank's just he looks at Valentina she's

crying like don't leave me Frank's got a back

off so Johnson goes to one of the like midpoints

between cars. He couples the car that Frank's

car is on because he's jumped off a bridge onto

a train, like perfectly square, like he parked

on it. And then he revs this thing up and Tercone

is like on another bridge off a way. He sees

the train. He's like, no, Frank, don't do it.

Don't do it. And he makes the jump. And I refer

to my five feet of awesome multiplied by the

speed of the car. Because he jumps in there,

knocks Johnson on his ass, he gets out, rips

the key out of Johnson's pocket, takes the manacle

off his hand, throws Johnson in the car, kind

of lashes him down with the seatbelt, puts the

manacle on Johnson's wrist, reactivates it, puts

the car in reverse, backs it off the train, Johnson

gets his hand out of the seatbelt, but it's five

seconds too late. I want to like this movie,

but if you're tied to a car, and if you get far

away from the car you blow up, you don't go away

from the car. You know what I mean? Like, it's

the logic in this movie. So, he's like screaming,

no! And it's... it's a really it's kind of a

sore point for me as far as movie logic goes

like if you're gonna scream you're about to blow

up keep screaming don't stop two seconds before

it goes up and get this calm look of serenity

on your face because when if you ever watch this

movie you'll see it where johnson he just falls

on his knees and he's just like ah to hell with

it and boom and Then the environmental minister

obviously doesn't let the toxic waste in the

country, sends a SWAT team to take out the guys

on the ship, and it ends with Frank and Tercone

fishing again, and Tercone's bitching about how

they're not catching fish, and it's like all

the noise, and Frank's like, there's no noise.

Then you see Valentina come up, and apparently

she's still with Frank, and the movie ends. Scenes

cannot save a movie. I'm sorry to say this, Mike,

but this movie is just so unapologetically stupid.

I wanted to like this movie. I really did. The

problem, I think, was that they probably filmed

the majority of it. Shooting was, yeah, they

shot most of it in France and Russia. And, you

know, no offense to French people or Russians,

but I'm sorry. If you look at the cast of the

first movie, the second movie, and this movie,

this movie has the least amount of cast members

outside of Statham and Francis. Well, guys that

you'll recognize, because the father, like the

environmental minister, I don't know the guy's

name. I just got to look on the cast here. That's

Jaron Krabbe or whatever. I'm guessing he played

the environmental mystery. I've seen him in a

ton of movies. If you look up his filmography,

he was in, let's see if there's anything he did

or if he's seen, he was in The Living Daylights,

one of the Punisher. He was in the Dolph Lundgren

Punisher movie. He was in the Kevin Costner Robin

Hood. He was in The Fugitive. Have you ever seen

The Fugitive? Yeah, yeah, she was like the guy

that he was the guy that framed Harrison Ford

in that movie. Oh Man, okay. Yeah, and See yeah,

he's an oceans 12 but yeah, it's like aside from

Frank and Tarkoni And Johnson, if you've seen

a lot of TV lately or a couple of films, you

wouldn't have recognized Kepper either. So yeah,

there's just not a huge cast or at least recognizable

cast in this movie. And yeah, it's just I wanted

to like this movie because I mean, okay, you

got a hot chick like the Natalya Rudakova. She's

an ex -model from what I could find. She's really

cute. She's got the red hair, which I love. She's

got freckles all over her face, which I find

oddly attractive and she plays like this bratty

party girl who you know she doesn't like the

situation she's in but she's not going to be

helpful anyhow because you know you're ruining

her buzz and the way they play her characters

you get this like she's just overcome with this

idea that she's not going to survive this experience

so at every opportunity she's trying to get drunk

or she's popping some ecstasy that she has left

over from Ibiza There's one scene which I I won't

say I was disgusted, but I found kind of distasteful

where she Frank stops for gas She wanders into

the convenience store there She like picks up

a bottle of vodka because she's supposed to go

and get snacks and drinks open the cracks open

the vodka chugs half the bottle She earns and

she decides to have a bathroom break in the middle

of the store Lovely. Yeah, that's what I said

So, you know, it's just, like I said, you really

have to watch the movie to get a better picture

of what I'm talking about. I just couldn't, like,

but aside from the fight scenes - I can get a

picture of it outside of the fight scenes. I've

got a clear picture, and the clear picture says

this thing needs to go straight to hell. Well,

I wouldn't wish Mr. Statham to suffer such a

fate, but - No, not him, just the movie in general.

Well, yeah. Like, that's why I'm not surprised

that there's no talk of a fourth one. Well, it's

said that this was going to be the final one,

and probably one of the reasons why it is the

final one is because it did so badly. Yeah, because

it... I don't know if you want to move on from

here, because I don't know how much more can

really be said. No, it really, really can't.

I mean, pretty much everything else we've got

for this movie, it's just... Lake shooting locations

some of the reception was the consensus stated

at the film That the film is a middling installment

in the transporter franchise That is a few steps

down from its predecessors featuring generic

stunts and lack of energy Metacritic the film

currently has a score of 51 % based on 26 reviews

It's opening weekend the film opened at number

7 with 12 million as of September 11th 2009 the

film has grossed 31 .7 million in the United

States and Canada and 74 .6 million in the foreign

countries with a total gross of 107 million something

or other. It's funny because it's the worst film

in the trilogy, but yet it's the highest grossing

film in the trilogy. I think people were just

starved for some Jason Statham. Yeah. Yeah, because

I'm just looking up on Rotten Tomatoes. It's

currently got a 37 % rating on the tomatoometer.

And it has a 58 % audience rating. So, clearly

something that's going to split a lot of people.

Yeah, for me as far as the IGN replacement crew,

yeah, this is a one for me. There's no way that

I would ever even see this, even if it was free.

Solid one. In fact, the only way I would make

it a four is if you're a guy like me who's, I'll

probably end up buying it because I'm that sort

of completist a -hole. Yeah, but as much as I

want to support Statham, just... From what you've

told me about this and just from what I've seen

of the different clips and stuff online and everywhere

else, if it comes on like TBS or FX or something

like that, maybe I'll watch it. But as far as

actually owning it, because I was actually debating

getting the DVD when it first came out and, you

know, I had other things I had to buy at the

time and then just haven't gotten it yet. And

now I'm actually glad that I'm probably not going

to have this on DVD. Yeah, if I was walking down

the street and I saw Transporter 3 coming towards

me, I'm crossing the street. And it's pretty

much, as with all DVDs nowadays, it has a single

disc edition, two disc edition, and a two disc

Blu -ray edition. And I think I saw, last time

I was at Walmart, I think they got like one of

those DVD and Blu -ray cue packs. Yeah, I can't

believe you like you look at the notes thing

this sold like 1 .1 million copies were sold

and it made on based on that sales alone it made

20 million I Would like to say that people aren't

stupid This unfortunately gives me evidence to

the contrary Yes, yes it does like I I Haven't

been this insulted by a movie since I watched

Super Mario Brothers. Hey, hey watch it I love

that movie. Oh man, we got words. So that's going

to do it for us here on MWIRE. Thank you for

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I am TFG1 Mike with JT from Saskatoon. Thank

you for listening. Until next time. In a world.

There, I said it. Happy?