Supergirl (1984) Review

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You know, I think I recognize the costume The

question remains just who on earth are you? On

earth I'm Lee. Linda Lee. Why don't you just

leave this poor kid alone and worry about the

other one that flies? Because nobody gets in

my way. Wait a minute, wait one minute. I mean,

you can do the whole number of leap -tall buildings

in a single bound and look right through things?

Yes. Ben Steel bars? Yes. Enjoy your prison,

Supergirl. of the dazzling new superhero, starring

Peter O'Toole. I must be sent to the Phantom

Zone. Faye Donoway, Mia Farrow. Venus? When?

Redna Vaccaro, Marc McClure. That's Clark Kent's

cousin. Hart Bauchner. And introducing Helen

Slater as Supergirl. Adventure runs in the family.

Hello and welcome to the DC spotlight volume

2 M wire spotlight on the Superman girl trends

Films something I don't know Which is brought

to you by the key cast for radio network I am

one of your host do Jan Mike and joining me is

JT from Saskatoon Hello, how you doing and you

could say it's the super family with this episode

Yeah, I was going a little more blue But we are

covering Supergirl from 1984 Honestly, and I

know I'm kind of jumping ahead here. I'm surprised

this I'm surprised. She hasn't gotten a live

-action Reboot I'm honestly very surprised. You

know the closest they've come is Smallville and

yeah, they didn't do too badly there No, we'll

talk about that at the end of the episode but

No, we're here to talk about Supergirl in the

DC spotlight volume 2 because well It's part

of the Salkind's Superman producing stuff when

did you first see this do you remember I remember

seeing I was like five or six and You know, you'll

hear it in the just the facts like I remember

loving this movie as a kid Because you know what

I know about movies or quality or acting You

know When you when I say acting I see that with

all puns intended because there's like three

literally heavyweight actors of like some you

know Some range in this movie in was it Peter

O'Toole Peter Cook and Faye Dunaway who? Well,

there might not be My favorites and just like

I know them to be like big actors and like they're

big What the hell are you doing here? Maybe they

needed to pay the bills that year. Yeah. Well,

you know what happens I mean when you look at

all the stuff that Christopher Walken does nowadays,

but Yeah, but okay, no offense to Walken himself,

but Christopher Walken has turned into the world's

internet meme, honestly, because the guy has

so many tropes and so much comedy backbone to

him and everything that he does that everyone

wants to imitate it, everyone wants to be like

him, and he is, he's just in every, you know,

he's in everything. I mean, the dude went from

a Bond villain to being a stuck -up, commie hatin'

father in Blast from the Past. You know what

I mean? It's like, he's one of those actors that

isn't every man actor where he will, doesn't

matter how low a role may seem, he'll do it.

Oh yeah, no, it's, there's a bit of a divide,

but... Just that goes to show like I didn't like

I said with some of these actors in today's film

It's just like Wow Well, yeah, I I first saw

this oh man it was I Think it was right after

oh man. It was it was late. I wasn't five or

six. I was like Nine or ten maybe eighty nine

ninety somewhere around there. Yeah, because

it Last week when Dan and I talked about Superman

3, this week you and I are talking about Supergirl

and next week Dan and I are gonna take on a quest

for peace. These three films, I pretty much saw

them back to back to back between the time they

all released, pretty much. It's like, not that

they all released, but like... Would say between

88 and when did four come out was? Yeah Yeah,

yeah between 88 and 91 I had seen all the all

three of these films Superman 3 Supergirl and

Superman 4 like back to back to back to back

to back and Honestly Like Dan and I said last

week, I have no idea what my nine, ten -year

-old brain was thinking enjoying Superman 3.

I know what my, you know, that age brain was

thinking, which I said in the JTF. Yeah. Yeah.

With with Supergirl. It's it's different for

me for me anyway And I'm pretty much betting

that you and I are gonna Basically draw a line

in the sand one of us is gonna stand on one side

the other one's gonna stay on the other I still

enjoy this movie. Oh I will I mean we'll get

into it I still kind of enjoy it, but not maybe

in the same way that you do Yeah, yeah, so let's

turn it over to your clone for the just the facts

and we'll be back after this Supergirl the movie

centers on Kara Zor -El, Superman's cousin who

lives in Argo City, a Kryptonian city that drifts

through some sort of dimensional void after the

destruction of Krypton. The city escaped the

destruction of Krypton due to the Omega Hedron,

a small but super -powerful energy generator

that the Kryptonian people utilized to create

a protective environment that allows them to

survive. It is here that Kara is grown up under

the tutelage of Zaltar, a local artist and free

thinker, who plans to leave the city and travel

to Earth, much like Kara's cousin Kyle did years

previously. They also somehow know what happened

to Superman on Earth after Krypton exploded.

must be some sort of dimensional Wi -Fi or something.

Anyway, after showing Kara the space body we'll

travel in, Zaltar reveals that he has stolen,

or rather borrowed, the Omega Hedron from the

city in order to experiment with it. While talking

with her mother, Zaltar allows Kara to play with

the Omega Hedron. After using a matter generating

wand to create a statue of a dragonfly like insect,

Kara uses the Omegahedron to bring it to life.

The statue flies away and pierces the protective

shell of the city, causing the Omegahedron to

be sucked out into the void. Knowing the city

and everyone in it will expire without their

power source, Kara enters and launches the space

pod in order to retrieve it. Luckily, a wristband

that Zaltar created for Kara can detect the Omegahedron

and it leads the pod through the void after it.

As the pod goes, Kara starts to develop superpowers

and her clothes inexplicably change into a female

version of Superman's costume. Nearing the perimeter

of the void, Kara ejects from the pod and flies

out of a lake on planet Earth. She experiments

with her newfound powers, using her heat vision

to grow a flower and flying around the world

before tracking the Omega Hedron to the city

of Midvale, Illinois. The Omega Hedron itself

is found by Selina, a wannabe witch who is apprenticed

to a pompous warlock named Nigel. Discovering

that the power of the sphere allows her to cast

real magic spells, Selina dumps Nigel and takes

off in his car. Selina returns to her lair, a

dilapidated carnival spook house. There she meets

with her assistant Bianca, declaring the tough

times are over and the good times are ahead.

The next day, Kara wakes in the forest near the

mid -veiled girl's boarding school. Deciding

that she needs a base of sorts for her search,

Kara scams her way into the school using her

cousin's identity of Clark Kent as a reference

and takes the name Linda Lee. The principal assigns

Linda to room with Lucy Lane, Lois Lane's kid

sister, who also just happens to be nuts about

the Man of Steel. Linda herself becomes smitten

with Ethan, one of the school's groundskeepers.

It's also revealed that Nigel the Warlock works

at the school as a math teacher. While cruising

near the school, Selena also sees Ethan and conspires

to make him her consort. She lures him to the

spook house and drugs him with a love potion

-laced beer. But when Nigel shows up to harass

Selena, Ethan wanders off into town. Using the

magic power of the orb, Selena uses her mirror

to track him down and then causes an excavator

to come to life to try and capture Ethan. Linda

and Lucy are nearby having lunch with a visiting

Jimmy Olsen and see the whole ordeal. Proving

that Lois isn't the only member of the family

with suicidal tendencies, Lucy climbs on board

the excavator and tries to stop it, but is knocked

out. Linda quickly changes to Supergirl and stops

the rampaging machine, saving Lucy and then carrying

Ethan away from the scene. Supergirl changes

back to Linda and frees Ethan from the shovel,

where he falls in love with her due to the effects

of the potion. Watching from her lair, Selina

then uses the Omega Hedron to cast a spell to

change her shadow into an invisible demon and

sends it after Linda, not knowing who she really

is. Under the cover of a lightning storm that

evening, the demon attacks the girl's school

looking for Linda who dashes outside as Supergirl.

After getting smacked around a bit, Supergirl

grabs a light pole and flies up into the storm

charging it with lightning. Flying back to the

school, she uses the lightning to blast the creature

who can only be seen between flashes of lightning

and destroys it. Following the fight, Linda uses

her magic bracelet to track the Omega Hadron

to the carnival and finds Ethan, who is still

under the potion's spell. Having followed with

flowers and candy, Ethan professes his love for

Linda as they sit in an empty carousel, but Selena

arrives and uses her powers to make the ride

spin out of control. Linda changes to Supergirl

and confronts Selena, and Selena tries to threaten

Supergirl by transporting Ethan to the bumper

cars where he is almost crushed by the possessed

ride. Supergirl traps Selena with some iron bars

and then rescues Ethan before Selena frees herself.

Selena contacts Nigel and proposes they realign

against Supergirl, but that she needs Ethan as

part of the plot. Nigel doesn't buy it and breaks

the spell over Ethan. As the spell is undone,

Supergirl tries to let a concerned Ethan know

Linda is alright, as it turns out he really has

fallen for her. Ethan and Supergirl kiss, and

then he realizes that Supergirl is Linda. However,

their joy is short lived as Nigel and Selina

use the Omega Hedron and a magic wand to draw

Ethan to the carnival. Selina then turns on Nigel,

stealing the wand and using her new power to

create a gigantic mountain fortress just outside

of Midvale. Supergirl flies to the fortress to

confront Selina and finds Ethan chained to the

wall, but when she tries to approach him, Supergirl

becomes trapped in a familiar piece of glass,

the portal to the Phantom Zone. The wicked Selena

mocks the girl of steel as she's sent into the

zone, and when she crash lands, Kara is injured,

discovering that her powers don't work anymore.

Wondering the landscape, she nearly drowns in

an oily bog before being rescued by Zaltar, who

was cast into the zone after what happened in

Argo City. Overjoyed to be reunited with her

friend, Kara is then disappointed when Zaltar

tells her there's no escape from the Phantom

Zone. Meanwhile, back on Earth, Selina has used

her power to start taking over Midvale, and then

the world! Several of the townspeople, including

Lucy and Jimmy Olsen, try to oppose Selina, but

they are captured and brought to the fortress.

Back in the zone, Kara continues to try and find

a way out. Zalter finally tells her about the

rift, the entrance slash exit to the Phantom

Zone. The rift lays atop a mountain and is much

like a tornado, the winds threatening to cast

the two of them off the mountain as they climb

up. Selina also watches through her mirror, using

her power to try and knock them off the mountain

with fireballs. Zalter manages to get Kara onto

a ledge where she'll be safe before he is knocked

back into the void. Spurned on by Zaltar's sacrifice,

Supergirl climbs out of the rift and flies back

into reality through Selena's magic mirror. Supergirl

and Selena then square off once again, with the

witch threatening to drop the captive Jimmy Olsen,

Lucy, and Nigel onto some red -hot pokers. Supergirl

then quickly uses her super breath to shatter

the spikes and frees her friends before Selena

uses the power of the Omega Hedron to summon

another demon to destroy her. Caught in the creature's

massive clawed hands, Supergirl nearly gives

in, but Xaltar's encouraging words from before

come to her, and she breaks free. Using her super

speed, Supergirl creates a vortex that sucks

Selena, Bianca, and the demon back into the Phantom

Zone, trapping them forever. Ethan returns the

Omega Hedron to Supergirl, who tells her friends

that she has to go back to Argo City. After taking

everyone back to Midvale, Supergirl flies off

to the portal she first arrived through. Ethan

looks on as she leaves, saying goodbye, Linda,

knowing that he may never see her again. The

film ends with Supergirl returning the Omega

Hedron to the city and its power lighting up

the dimensional void once again. The first and

only spinoff from the classic Superman film series,

Supergirl opened in theaters on November 21,

1984. The film was directed by Genoa Swark, who

also directed Jaws 2 in 1978 and Santa Claus

the movie in 1985. The film starred relative

newcomer Helen Slater as Supergirl, Faye Dunaway

as the evil witch Selena, Hollywood legend Peter

O'Toole as Zaltar, Hart Botchner as Ethan, Peter

Cook as the pompous Nigel, Maureen Teefe as Lucy

Lane, and Mark McClure as Jimmy Olsen reprising

his role from the Superman movies. In what Superman

series producers Ilya and Alex Sulkind had hoped

would be the first of a successful spin -off

series, Supergirl performed poorly at the box

office. Despite opening at number one in its

first weekend, the film turned out to be a box

office bomb, bringing in only $14 million of

its $35 million budget. Critics are not fond

of Supergirl the movie, resulting in its 8 %

rotten rating on RottenTomatoes .com. Many reviewers

criticized the director's work in the film calling

it flat and uninspiring. The late Roger Ebert

wrote in his review that the film failed because

it didn't play itself seriously like the first

two Superman movies and thus degenerated into

camp. Ebert, however, did note that he loved

Helen Slater's portrayal of Supergirl because

she perfectly filled the role, much like Christopher

Reeve did in Superman. Critic Dave Care, the

Chicago reader, said that he thought the film

failed because director Suark tried and failed

to emulate the romantic action elements of Richard

Lester's work in Superman 2. and Janet Maslin

of the New York Times commented on Helen Slater's

performance, saying Slater performed well, but

she didn't bring a lot of energy to the role.

Now, despite her last name, Helen Slater is not

at all related to Christian Slater. But did you

know that she has a connection to The Dark Knight

Detective? Miss Slater was the first actress

to give voice to the daughter of the demon's

head, Talia Al Ghul, in Batman the Animated Series.

She would also return to the Superman mythos

in the TV series Smallville, where she would

play Lara, Superman's birth mother, in several

episodes. And did you know that Demi Moore was

almost cast in the role of Lucy Lane? The future

Mrs. Bruce Willis had to bow out due to scheduling

conflicts with her work on the film Blame It

on Rio. The character of Lucy was not the only

one who producers had different actresses in

mind to play. Dolly Parton was originally considered

for the role of Selena, as well as Meg Ryan and

Brooke Shields being courted for the role of

Supergirl. And you'd think the Man of Steel would

show up to say hello in his cousin's movie, but

you'd be wrong. Christopher Reeve bowed out appearing

in the film early on in production. So... The

only mentions of Superman in the entire movie

is the poster in Lucy and Linda's dorm room,

a quick mention on the radio Superman is on a

mission in deep space, and of course, Jimmy Olsen.

I remember as a kid absolutely loving this movie.

I was way into the Superman movies as a kid,

so it's not that much of a surprise that I latched

onto this one. Back then, the movie thrilled

and excited me, but now... I laugh my ass off

whenever I watch this. It's so full of campy

fun and what -the -fuck moments that it's hard

for me not to like it just a little bit. If you

haven't seen this one yet and you're a fan of

the Superman movie series, I'd say check it out

at least once. This was Just the Facts for Supergirl

the Movie. I'm JT from Saskatoon, sending it

back to the rest of the gang on today's M -Wire.

Well, thank you to Bizarro JT. He's a sexy sounding

mother. Uh, no, not at all. So yeah, Supergirl

is a movie. These things make you look smart.

And a snappy dresser too. I wouldn't know. Alright,

so, Supergirl. The plot is kind of The thing

with me that I've become to the point now where

you know people have you know have said to me

and I've seen people say You know in other podcasts

and online Oh nostalgia is stupid or fucking

nostalgia or whatever else and honestly, it's

not even nostalgia to me I went into this knowing

that it was a movie from 1984 and knowing what

the technology was back then and how they were

going to do this and accomplish it and the story

that they told I'm sure once we get down into

a little bit more of the trivia later that we'll

see if they actually see this thing I don't know

because I don't I don't read any of this I've

never read any of the Supergirl comics I don't

currently read any of the Supergirl stuff so

I don't know if this plot, this story, is accurate

to anything that's in the comics. Well, I'm gonna

speak blue for a second and say not even fucking

close. About the only thing that came close to

the fucking comic book of this movie was the

costume, the casting of Helen Slater, and the

use of magic as a major weakness, which is the

only other thing that affects Kryptonians on

Earth besides Kryptonite. Right. Aside from that

this film is filled with almost a hundred percent

of pure what the fuckery Now I will say that

I Much prefer magic over. Hey, I don't know what

this unknown. Oh tar. Let's just make it tar

You know is the final you can't really blame

Richard Pryor for that No, I know I know what

you're saying. I just saying magic is literally

about the only other thing Right aside from well,

whatever it's whatever level extreme physical

force doomsday brought to bear on the man of

steel Yeah, you know, so yeah magic is about

the only thing and I mean just right off I gotta

say of this movie. It's almost it's a gender

role reversal of the first Superman film Yeah,

yeah, you have to tell her origin you have to

tell you know, but just that like all the rules

like you you got You know got the Lex Luthor

and the Otis of this film is, you know, Selena

and Bianca, and my... Yeah, but Bianca isn't

that much of a ditz. Bianca is no female version

of Otis. Well, she's clearly more intelligent,

but she's about as useful as Lenny Luther. Oh,

oh, oh, God, I forgot. I tried to lock that in

my mouth. Oh, my God. But yeah, I'm gonna miss

Otis next week. Yeah, well, I mean, he's... Currently

in the smallville season 11 comics. You do have

that if you need but yeah, no, I mean I love

how the movie opens It's like it's not outer

space. It's not inner space You know, it's just

that they're There's Argo City, which is the

classic, you know stomping grounds like the hometown

of Supergirl from the comics and yeah they're

like an inner space or in some sort of interdimensional

void and it's basically a sort of a Kryptonian

commune almost yeah and they just happen to have

this like the magic MacGuffin which is somewhere

between the size of a Christmas orange and a

baseball that I'm I'm surprised it could get

out Omega Hedron as many times as I did in the

JTF yeah so let's just call it the orb to be

safe Yes, yes, you know, so I mean that there's

the Kryptonian city Argo survived the destruction

of Krypton It's floating through some dimensional

void. It's powered by this orb and One of its

leading citizens is Peter O'Toole's Nigel not

Nigel Zoltar Zoltar and Kind of Doug like I see

a couple of movies when I was a kid with Peter

O'Toole and I kind of like the guy You know He

had like this kind of zest for life sort of thing

and was very apparent in his altar because I

mean the guy Honestly, just doesn't give a fuck.

I mean he you see what happens He literally does

it because he's got this matter generating wand

You know, that's just like making what is that

when Kara comes up? It's a tree Okay, and then

you see he's stolen the freaking power source

for the entire city and he's Screwing around

with it. And then when Kara's mom comes up to

talk to him About what maybe the fact that he

drinks too much. I don't know And he just he

drops it kicks it over to the girl I'm not knocking

Helen Slater. I'm not it's just the way she looked

with the makeup in the scene But it looked like

she might have some learning difficulties Because

her eyes she was like that what's a tree and

her eyes are so wide and she just It does her

her look doesn't scream intelligent young woman

Right and if and that's kind of the whole thing

both in Argo and when she gets to earth as well.

She's The character of Kara is portrayed as the

the writers or whoever the hell wrote the script

Yeah, they portray her as a dumb blonde in the

1980s They they just do and that's not what she

is. That's not what the character is at all The

character is more competent than what they wrote

this this version of her to be Of course we see

that closer to the end of the film. Yeah Welcome

to the 80s where scripts really didn't matter

Yeah, you know, but I'm just saying it's just

like the way she plays Kara initially like she

gets a little bit smarter when she gets the earth

but on this first scene on you know Argo It's

kind of like tell me about the rabbits So no,

all right, let me ask you this okay Because you

said it's pretty much a mirror of Superman the

movie as far as the origin Let's look at Superman

the movie again to my knowledge from what we

saw on Krypton it was a completely Technological

planet I didn't see any trees, I didn't see any

farms, I didn't see any of that. Now we know

that Jor -El has traversed the galaxies, and

I use that as plural because he did, many, searching

for a planet for his son to go to if Krypton

was eventually going to go boom, which it did.

So I understand why Jor -El would know. about

rabbits and earth and trees and and butterflies

and and all this stuff but as you said whatever

wherever Argo exists whether it's in a pocket

dimension whether it's in some deep recesses

of space basically they say that it's a dome

city yeah that can't leave you cannot leave so

how is it that Even with the Omega, what's its

Orb of Doom thing, even with that, how is Zaltar

able to leave and learn all this crap? Does he

just use that, I assume? And that's, I would

assume, because that's what she does. She uses

it and a portal opens up in the middle of...

She's essentially... Oh god, I just realized

that. She's essentially the Lady of the Lake

without Excalibur. Very much so. And as far as

them knowing about trees and, you know, Kara

talking to Zoltar, you know, she makes mention

of like my cousin Kal -El. I was like, well,

like I said, in the JTF, they've probably got

interdimensional Wi -Fi or something or the little

known Kryptonian power of plot convenience. Yeah,

pretty much. Yeah. It's just, yeah, like there's

so many. It's like I said, it's the 80s and they

were literally like I know the soul kinds or

soul kinds and kinds whatever the the producers

did they weren't Calling the audience idiots,

but I mean there are so many like leaps and logic

in the first five minutes That you know plot

holes the size of the friggin Death Star could

drive through like how does he know what trees

are? Cuz when you look at Krypton in the first

Superman movie, it's you know ice or all crystals

or you know, it's very much not You know, where

would they get this information from and it's

not like we have to be told well You know, they

went to the cosmic, you know Deus Ex Machina

and it told them about this like there's just

how do you know it's like Did Jor -El tell Kara's

dad about that and That's how they know like

it's just some things aren't answered like that,

you know and like I said, he kicks the orb over

to Kara who takes the twirly matter generating

wand and Creates of all things a firefly while

Zaltar is talking to Kara's mom and this thing

flies up and pierces Okay, this is what this

is what pisses me off and this is probably something

I thought as a kid too if they're floating through

fucking space Don't you think you want to construct

your hideout with something a little more sturdy?

Yeah, because I I mean, maybe it was super sharp

or whatever fine. I get that it's gonna leave

a mark. I Don't think it should pierce the veil

and suck, you know Who knows how many people

got sucked out into this interdimensional void

too. I mean Because the thing opens explosive

decompression happens the orb gets sucked out

into the ether And about five seconds before

this all happened, Zaltar gave Kara a little

wrist doodad that is somehow capable of tracking

the orb, and she shows some intelligence. She's

like, oh, I've done fucked up. I should probably

fix this. So she crawls into this space pillow

pad thing that Zaltar is gonna take off in and...

You know, she goes out after it. I mean, you

don't know if she's got her pilot's license.

She clearly didn't get her parents permission

before she took off. And then she's just like,

I'm gonna go get the orb, derpader. I mean, once

she gets there, she becomes very intelligent,

at least in my eyes. It's just... You didn't

think for a damn second about what you're doing,

did you, girl? Nope. because she just takes off

and she's got this wide eye going after the orb,

leaving home for the first time, not even going

to consider the ramifications of my actions.

You know, she's just, and you know, Zoltar is

just standing there. He's just like, oh darn.

Yeah. And he's like, now I did just watch this

a couple of days before we did this recording,

but I knew I've been doing so much lately. I've

been writing up so many reviews, recording so

many podcasts that I forgot. Did he say he needed

to be exiled to the Phantom Zone or did the other

people of Argo City basically say you're under

arrest? I thought it was him that said he needed

to be exiled to the Phantom Zone. I think he

said that to Kara's dad after... Right after

she took off. I'm trying to remember how the

hell he got into the Phantom Zone I just watched

this the other day, too I'm pretty sure that's

what happens here his dad comes up, and he saw

what the hell Yeah, you know I and everyone speak

with these very flower all the adults anyhow

on Argo speak with these very flowery accents

these very British accents which you know and

Zaltar's just Got this I love that's why I love

Peter O'Toole in this movie man. Like he's just

he's got this awesome 80s sweater on you know,

he's just He's kicking back like a rockstar.

He literally just exudes every inch of I don't

give a fuck. I Mean you're about to be exiled

to one of the worst planes of existence and known

to Krypton society You're just kicking back.

There's like eh, whatever you know I'm surprised

that they I know they probably wouldn't do this

and I know that they probably weren't going to

approach mr. stamp again I'm surprised that they

didn't have oh no wait wait a minute they didn't

go back to the Phantom Zone did they? it shows

up later in the film but it's unlike anything

that we've seen so far in the series no no I

know it no I'm What I'm trying to say is that

it would have been interesting when the Phantom

Zone scene is there later in the film, that they

would have run into Zod, but I don't think that

would have happened because of the events of

the Lester version of Superman 2, which is the

theatrical and more widely known version, other

than that time traveling double take. Okay, so

she gets to earth and somehow her chain spontaneously

change into a Superman uniform or Kryptonian

robes and Yeah, and you see her so it's you almost

kind of see when she's traveling in that silhouette

her arms are coming up in like the flex pose

and she apparently the dimensional or the portal

between dimensions is a lake in Illinois Hi Neil

Yeah We can debate the fighter points of interdimensional

portals later, but yes It's just and then this

is the one thing that kind of bugged me about

comic book or superhero movies and like the 80s

and early 90s like basically stuff pre blade

Because you know blades kind of like we're okay.

We're gonna take this shit serious now How she

pops out of the water and almost immediately

is able to use her flight powers? She doesn't

burn down the forest when she's staring at that

flower You know, it's very much you could the

opposite scene of Zod and company landing in

planet Houston in Superman 2 Yeah, yeah, the

thing is you need to how does she know like okay

we we all know at this point Krypton is gone

Superman has had three adventures two of which

have been erased by time or altered by spinning

the world backwards yay Kryptonian whiteouts

stupid dick so We know that, you know, Superman

had his first two adventures, had his third adventure.

So we know, and we've established in, within

these five films that they are, you know, this,

she is in that universe and there's no, Hey,

I need to test this. Like, you know, you watch,

um, as much as people might hate this reference,

you watch Superman, Batman apocalypse, the, and

the DC animated feature where. she finds herself

on earth and she doesn't know what the hell and

her heat visions going crazy and she finds out

she can fly upside down you know you know i mean

she's learning to use her powers as that animated

feature goes on here boom she just knows it's

like they couldn't spend five seconds instead

of her frolicking with a damn flower in the fucking

forest like actually you know That's really,

honestly, that's the only test of her powers

that she did was the heat vision on the flower.

And it seemed like, oh, hey, I have heat vision.

That must mean I can fly. Yeah, I would have

accepted her having a little bit of difficulty

flying and then just bam, she knows how to use

her powers. That hint that she had to learn really

doesn't come up. Because I mean, as you see in

short order, after she Beats up the attempted

rapists and then she wakes up outside the girls

school You know, it's just I Love the fact she's

another unknown Kryptonian superpowers the ability

to basically morph your appearance at a moment's

freaking notice Because they have that thing

where she's walking through the forest after

you she wakes up outside the school like in the

forest and She's walking she walks behind a tree.

It's like supergirl earth identity Like she just

it's kind of like when Superman spins around

in the spinning door in the first movie and he

just morphs From Clark Kent to Superman, you

know that she has that superpower and then she

basically bullshits her way into the food and

lodging in this school like she doesn't set the

Typewriter on fire, you know typing through it

she doesn't create like some sort of like small

whirlwind like digging through the files at super

speed and Really how enough how how much an effective

administrator is this? Principle where the guy

is gone for all 30 seconds And he comes back

he's like, oh Lee Lee it's like, you know, I

went through this filing cabinet yesterday I

did not see this letter then Like he doesn't

call her on anything, you know Yeah Mean you

got it. We've got to mention you know before

she even gets the earth we meet the villain s

of the piece Probably the least threatening sorceress

in the history of film Okay, this is what I don't

get What is before we see her whole oh, I want

ultimate power deal What is she's not a businesswoman?

She's not a mad scientist. She doesn't have a

bald head. She's not black white and red all

over She doesn't have a green suit. She knows

nothing of Kryptonite. She doesn't meld with

Brainiac. What other Lex Luthor references can

I make here? You know, it's like... Well, yes,

and we're talking about the character of Selina

played by Feet, done away people. Yes, yes, Selina.

Selina the Headmistress, the whatever you want

to call her. I don't get what her deal is before

she finds... The orb of doom well I don't they

don't kind of massage it in You know into our

brains the way they do with a lot of villains,

but I mean She's a print from what you see from

what I got from watching the movie. She's apprentice

to This pompous douche named Nigel who? when

you know supergirls conning her way into the

school he Appears is like hey, it's Nigel and

he's the math teacher here and that is Never

brought into play again the fact that he is supergirls

math teacher Right, but what I'm saying was Selena

is it there's no clear scene where she's like

why is she gay? Well, I mean maybe she's we're

supposed to take that she's just this you know,

she wants power and she's just super greedy like

that and I Guess but it's never actively stated

like like you said Nigel's day job is he's a

math teacher. What is Selena's day job? The fact

that she's, you know, a skimpy hoe in iron -clad

bikinis. You know, blonde hair and a sword going

up. Oh, I'm sorry, that's bikini Tila. No. But

it's one of those things where... There's no

motivation given to us, yeah. There's nothing

there at all. Are you trying to say that redheads

are inherently evil? Hmm. I mean and clearly

she's gonna have some kind of day job. I mean

as far as Villains go she's the you know motivations

not there, but she does have the prerequisite

cool hideout you know in the Abandoned carvinal

carnival spook house Where apparently she I was

waiting for the Joker to pop up and just say

bitch, please I'll handle this he's like nice

decorating you know I mean she she's sitting

there and they're having this picnic and the

orb shows up and it's she almost said she knows

this thing is like you know her you know the

golden snitch for her she takes it and she like

jacks Nigel Nigel's car goes back to the spook

house she goes in you we meet the Otis of the

film you know Bianca who We've talked off there,

you know, she is far more intelligent than Otis,

but she's about as useful as another member of

the Luther family tree that, you know, will meet

in the fourth Superman movie. But I mean, they

were talking about is like, why is she doing

this? Does she have some sort of day job? We're

assuming she does because apparently she's paying

cable and water bills. Yeah, see that's the that's

the that's the thing that's so disbelievable

about this film You have someone who is supposed

to be a villainous who is supposed to be eventually

this man. Oh God This would come years later

even though it came in 1983, but Selena is essentially

Palpatine Oh God No, no, don't get me wrong.

I love Ian McDaniel's Emperor slash Palpatine,

but if you think about it, and you look at it

in the context of episode three, that he said

he had a master who taught him everything and

then he killed the master and became, you know

what I mean? It's like her and Nigel have that

kind of relationship. You know where he taught

her everything and now she's gonna become more

powerful than it. It's that back and forth. Yeah

Well, yeah, but I mean she shows up and she puts

the orb in like this weird Lead line dragon Pot

thing which conveniently it's lead line because

Supergirls, you know magic DSX Machina detector

stops, you know working It's yeah, I got it's

Just like the leaps and logic and some of this

movie like I mean you got Selena You know what

she started. She's gonna start using this to

You know get what she deserves And we just kind

of ignore Selena for like the next 10 15 minutes

as you go go to the school super rare like super

mere Supergirl, you know BS is her way in You

know, the principal's like, okay, it's all legal.

And... Did you just say super mare? Yeah, I said,

I missed just frank fart. That's all it was.

I wasn't trying to imply nothing. Super mare.

I can see a horse with Kryptonian powers. Why

not? They had Streaky the super cat. Just look

up Silver Age super animals, you'll figure it

out. So yeah, the principal, we get back to the

super girl at the school. The principal's taking

her to her room. And who does she end up rooming

with? Wow, this isn't at all contrived. Lucy

Lane, the younger kid sister of Lois, who we

find out later on is no less suicidal than her

big sister. Yeah. You know, and you see that

Lucy, like her sister, is like all about the

Man of Steel, and they have that sweet wall poster

of Christopher Reeve, which is that and the radio

announcement that Superman is out on a mission

of peace with some in... some alien society in

deep space is all we got of Christopher Reeve

in this movie. See, now, okay, the song kind

of produced all five of these films, right? Yeah.

Obviously, I didn't have the same director for

all five films, correct? Nope. Okay, here's the

thing. As a producer, what I would have done

is, instead of saying he's off in space, fighting

some aliens for a quest for peace i would have

teased the next film even if they didn't know

about it like i would have said he's off on a

quest for peace against some super powered nuclear

got you know you know i mean it would be cool

if they had done that to the fact that we're

basically telling you what the next film is going

to be you know yeah but i mean even with some

Again, being the 80s and like, don't get me wrong,

like we all love the 80s here at the GCRN. Oh,

yes. But even with some of the lengthier series

that came out in the 80s, primarily horror movies,

there isn't all that much set up between the

films. I mean, there's continuity, but you really

don't discuss until about 20 minutes in. So,

but yeah, I mean, you got the Lucy Lane. Well,

of course you got to have something to connect

the films in a way. Oh wait, let's bring in,

you know, Mark McClure as Jimmy Olsen, who's

dating Lucy Lane, and it's not at all creepy.

Well, no, wait a second here. Is it really that

creepy that Jimmy would be dating Lucy? I had

the characters dating, and they've done so in

the comics. In the movie, this is downright creepy,

because Mark McClure looks about age 30 going

on 18, you know, and Maureen Teefe, who played

Lucy Lane, ironically Mark McClure is like early

20s about this point. I believe and Marine Teefee

had about six years his elder so it's kind of

balances out in the end it's just As a kid and

kind of now just looking at it He looked way

too old or not way too old but just he's way

older than Lucy because Marine Teefee had this

whole you know, she had the Sweet innocent look

going on But I mean the while going through the

school Supergirl sees the gardener Ethan who

is played by a guy named Hart Boschner who we

all know as Ellis from the first die -hard I

found out my recent wait a second. Are you meaning

to tell me that? the douchebag that got taken

out by That's Ellis that is Ellis He doesn't

have the beard you couldn't see it at all. I

didn't know until You know just kind of going

back over my notes. It's like I can't believe

I didn't mention that before I Didn't even realize

like he yeah But but we got to think though this

is before like he was really beefed up in this

movie he was almost like a bodybuilder in this

movie the way he the way they made him look and

When he gets to die hard Four years later, he's

a skinny little stoner. Yeah. But wow. Yeah,

no, that is Ellis. So Supergirl is just like

Yowza. And then coincidentally enough, at the

same time, Selena is cruising by the school.

And Lord knows why. She's either stalking Nigel

or stalking Nigel. Yeah, that's probably what

it is. It's not even she just sees him. He's

like you know what I need a stud He looks good.

Let's do it whereas Bianca is just kind of like

hello nurse You know That that's really all that

it is, but I mean there you go Yeah, but I mean

so Selena's on the whole thing is like I'm going

to use him and She She basically slips him a

roofie and attempts to rape him. I mean that's

Pretty much. Yeah, she's like do I'm going to

boil spider in the oh Yeah, just that little

thing like it's again. She's supposed to be a

witch now I'm not I'm not asking for wicked witch

of the West like cackling and flashes of power

while she's boiling over a thing, but the It

just this is like There was no effort may put

into the fact that making she they just basically

said she's a witch And then you see her they're

making a pot of mac and cheese Which is all it

really looks like oh you're gonna put the spider

in the walnut and oil like There's no real and

not asking for a lot, but there's no real setup

as to How magic kind of works in this movie?

it's just like oh he's a warlock and she's a

witch in training and they can do stuff yeah

this is basically um superman meets harry potter

yeah that's a sad thing you're not i know i don't

disagree i don't you know but I mean moving along

these you see Selena, you know drugs him and

then Nigel shows up to cause some shit and Then

Ethan wonders off into town and he's all like

straight He looks like he's all strung out and

drunk and Jimmy Olsen is not that nice about

it's like he's probably gonna stray He's probably

strung out of drugs. He'll get run over I'm not

they say that to be funny. That's very much how

Jimmy Olsen acts people He basically looks at

Ethan stumbling around all drunk in the middle

of traffic. He's like, yeah fuck that guy Yeah,

Jimmy wasn't a nice guy in this movie. Yeah,

and then he wasn't the OG Willikers chief I'll

get right on that or oh, mr. Kent, you know,

oh Superman. Okay, you know, he wasn't they like

I think after three films Jimmy kind of cracked

Yeah, Jimmy cracked the corn and he didn't care

Yeah, it's oh And then scavenger of the Constructicon

shows up as Selena casts a spell that She takes

control of a steam shovel that comes running

after Ethan. It's like I'm going to take you

to my master Oh wait, the thing didn't talk at

all. It just took off on its own And like I said,

Lucy shows that she really has no concept of

her own mortality. She runs out, climbs into

this thing and tries to stop it. And she gets

knocked out. Yeah, pretty much. And then, you

know, Supergirl shows up. You know, Linda changes.

Supergirl flies in. Doesn't look at Lucy at all

like is like. Hey, it's my roommate and kind

of friend. I should check your own. No, I'm just

gonna take this guy trapped in the shovel part

and fly off somewhere and You know check it out

Yeah, it's not very well Thought -out writing

at all the one thing that really bugs the hell

out of me out of this movie and again you could

tell me because you're You know more of comics

history than I do the identity thing Is Linda

Lee something that has happened in the comics?

Yeah, no, literally is the okay class identity

of Supergirl Okay, because wait, she's the what?

She's the like the classic, you know identity

of Supergirl when she showed up in like the 50s

where Okay, seen that comic cover where the crash

rock and she flies out. She's like hey cousin.

Let's have adventures See, that's the thing with

this film I don't know why her real name has

to be the secret. Like, she lands, she's Kara,

she's Supergirl, and then, oh, hey, I need a

secret identity, more secret than my own identity,

because people aren't just gonna realize if I

put glasses on that I'm super... I don't get

that, I don't like it about the movie that...

that there's three identities. I don't mind two

identities, like Clark Kent Superman, but the

three identity thing in this did not work for

me whatsoever. Well, I mean, Kara, Supergirl

are pretty much the same person. I know they're

the same person. But there's no, what do you

call it, impetus or whatever of why. There's

no why. She needs a secret identity. Why? Yeah,

I mean really there's no reason whatsoever unless

you know, we're supposed to make that leap that

well You know, I'm gonna be flying around in

this suit with this blonde hair and I can't just

change clothes I should You know change kind

of all together But yeah the the fact that I

would let put yourself in Ethan's shoes Even

if you are juiced up on this love potion that

Selena slipped him, you know a magical Mickey

as it were When you see the shovel being pried

open by this young slip of a girl, are you going

to fall in love with her, or are you going to

be a little bit scared that this 120 -pound soaking

wet pried open the heavy gauge metal that is

a piece of construction equipment? I'm just saying.

And see, the one thing, as far as all magic goes

in this movie, one of the things that bothers

me is during this whole scene, you see the Omegahedron

in the dragon pot starts acting up. It's rattling

around, it's full of vim and vinegar and all

that. And later on, it really starts, the pot's

literally jumping off the floor and it's... acting

violently. And the pot, it grows. You know, it

grows a set of dragon tits. I'm not being fun,

that's actually this dragon -topped pot grows

a set of tits. Yeah, it does. He's not kidding,

folks. And then the sad thing is, this thing,

which has absolutely no bearing on the rest of

the movie, is more of an interesting discussion

topic than the pot of the film. Yeah, but I mean

moving along You know Ethan falls in love with

Linda and later on that night like in kind of

a creepy scene Like Selena uses the power of

shadow to send this invisible monster after Supergirl

slash Linda And the scene where the monster shows

up at the school is actually kind of cool in

a special effects kind of way because you see

like ground crumbling and walls crumbling and

Car gets crushed and all looks pretty cool. And

meanwhile, there's this lightning storm and Linda's

inside She's like making out with herself in

a mirror because she's all hot for Ethan now

and then I know can you describe the fight that

she has with the monster cuz I really have no

idea what's going on here I No clue. It's a fight

between Supergirl and a monster. Yeah an invisible

monster. Yeah, I mean Trying to think it's it's

like It's it's the nothing from the never -ending

story Yeah, it's that or to use a more modern

reference. It's like Selena Went to dr. Doofenshmirtz

and said hey I need to borrow your Invisinator

cuz in one of the episodes well no in one of

the episodes of Phineas and Ferb dr. Doofenshmirtz

the evil pharmacist, scientist, whatever, it's

the lab coat, they get it confused. He creates

an Invisinator where in, if you're already invisible,

if you get hit by the rig and it makes you visible,

so there's a scene in the episode where he and

Perry the Platypus are either a top or a bottom,

and I don't mean that in the blue way, I mean

like you can either see their legs or their torso.

you know and it's like that's that's what this

fight reminds me of is like some something's

invisible and in order for you to not know where

it is it needs to shut the hell up yeah it's

like oh you've all this onto my voice punch you

know I get that what bothers me is the fact that

you almost see it between flashes of lightning

I think that was I think that was kind of the

point though with the style of the film and they

wanted you because they're not gonna spend all

this money on An effect that no one can see or

on a prop that no one's gonna be able to see

so yeah Yeah, and suffice to say the way she

dispatches the creature makes absolutely no sense.

I mean Supergirl She rips up a light pole flies

up into the storm somehow absorbs lightning into

the metal, it comes back down and electrocutes

the monster to death. Yeah, she was a Kryptonian

lightning rod, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, and

most of the time when invisible monsters die,

in most media, it becomes visible. You know,

we couldn't see the giant corpse. I'm not saying,

I'm just saying, you know, it would have made

more sense. So the monsters dead and all of a

sudden her wrist tracker activates again because

the orbs out of the dragon pot with the baked

hits right and she falls into the carnival and

Apparently love in the Supergirl universe means

you stalk the object of your affections because

that's what Ethan does All right, but let's let's

bring this up now Superman was stalking Lois

Clark Kent was using his his vision to see what

was in her purse You know so stocking in the

Superman universe is it should be like Okay,

that happens tradition. Yeah, I mean, it's not

anything new that we haven't seen to this point

Oh, yeah, see I know I mean Linda tracks the

Omega Hedron the orb to the fairgrounds Ethan

shows up and I'm not saying that Ethan isn't

an intelligent character, but Unless this guy

has got a bachelor like a lit degree or pardon

me a lit literary degree that isn't doing him

nothing That's why he's doing yard work. He starts

quoting basically Shakespeare like he's composed

a sonnet about his love for Linda and she's just

kind of like Well, I mean she's Kryptonian. She

doesn't really know a hell of a lot about human

society. So she's kind of like yeah Yeah, they

they start you know they're about to make out

in like the bumper cars where Selena shows up

and uses The fucking bumper cars. Oh my god.

They were on a carousel and then the bumper cars

came in Yeah, she said spinning around so much

that you know Selena Bianca, and you know Ethan

assumed that Linda being of all 110 pounds soaking

wet gets flown into the next county because you

know Selena's like your mind and Supergirl shows

up and leave him alone, bitch. And probably the

greatest non -fight that we'll have in this movie

where Ethan's sent into the bumper car area and

he's almost killed by the possessed bumper cars.

And Supergirl throws these like giant rods that

kind of fence in Selena. It's just. You know,

all of a sudden, you don't even see what Selena

does. She's just standing there. Oh, what the

hell? You see the mouth bend over. I mean, honestly,

the scariest thing in this movie up to this point

is Ethan almost getting taken out by the bumper

cars. Yeah. And it's just like, OK. You know,

so he gets knocked out again. Supergirl dumps

him into the bumper car. She flight. What is

it with her and just like I'm not saying you

gotta Stay close to the action. Why do you have

to she clearly flew like a couple of hundred

miles away or something? Because next thing you

know, she's outside this lake again And Okay,

yeah It's it's very very strange. I mean now

they they kind of sort of start ramping up for

the big You know into the third act here, and

you know Selena like there's a scene we kind

of glanced over where Selena with this new power

of the orb tries recruiting like more witches

Right Havin and it really it looks more like

a bad 80s dinner party, you know and you know

Nigel shows up and Alina Selena basically tells

him to go screw again but after Supergirl takes

off with Ethan she contacts him again and he

brings I can't remember what they call he brings

in this evil magic wand yeah and you know they

use it to like Ethan and Supergirl have in a

moment he's kind of clicked to the idea that

she's Linda and he really does love Linda We

kind of glance over this it's almost a non point

because it really doesn't make any sense It makes

no sense that he would know that hey this dark

-haired beauty is also this blonde bimbo Well,

it makes absolutely no sense. It makes no sense

and there's really no setup really for him to

figure this out, but he basically breaks the

glasses no glasses disguise of Then having blonde

and then brunette hair And see that's the thing

like that's why I don't like the third identity

Well, it's not really a third identity is different

set of clothes to me it it's a she changed her

entire appearance except her face To me it's

a third identity in my personal way of thinking

it just is and there's like Ethan like even Lois

is smarter than this You know what I mean? Sure,

Lois has had her moments over the years where

she doesn't know that Clark is Superman or she

doesn't figure it out right away, but even every

now and then she comes around and figures it

out. I mean, come on. Yeah, and then Superman

takes her and they dive off the side of the building

and they fly and he kisses her and, you know,

it's... You'd think she would I mean this is

something from the fourth Superman. We think

she would develop a tolerance to the super roofie

Yeah, so anyway, you know silly or Selena Nigel

have teamed up and they whammy Ethan back to

the lair and Supergirl comes calling and Selina

basically steals the wand kicks Nigel to the

curb and all of a sudden this power allows her

to create this giant monolithic mountain just

outside of the town with like this kind of mansion

-esque headquarters on top and Supergirl flies

in and Ethan's chained to the wall and she goes

towards him and all of a sudden she's stuck in

the mystic album cover that is the Phantom Zone

portal. She gets sucked into the Phantom Zone

and Selena is all wicked and evil and mocking

her and I've won You know, you almost want to

hear the dumb dumb dumb Sound effect here and

I Okay, because we talked a little bit before

about the fans of the Phantom Zone obviously

is more than like the flying album cover and

This one you actually get a look at it Yeah,

it's like dark and foreboding and it's basically,

you know Mount doom and Lord of the Rings kind

of territory here Supergirl, I mean then they

kind of approach something you never haven't

done any of the Superman movies in that that

you know She's human here, you know, cuz she

hurts herself when she lands and she almost drowns

in like a bog and she's rescued by big surprise

Zoltar No, because clearly her father isn't gonna

come and try and rescue his daughter Well again,

that's why I asked earlier about what? Like was

it Argo City people or was it Zaltar that said

he needed to be exiled and really honestly Zaltar

is her father. I don't give a shit what the cast

credits say about Zor -El and Whatever really

had more of a head in raising her exactly like

But maybe that's how it is this you know Like

I said, it's basically a Kryptonian hippie commune.

So maybe they Everyone is everyone's parent and

we're all children of the one people and oh look

the moon is in the third, you know It clearly

it's different from the very, you know Let's

not have a sense of humor or consider the possibility

that our planet might blow the fuck up Krypton

at the first Superman movie. Yeah So basically,

she and Zaltar talk. They have, you know, father

-daughter moment, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

He keeps offering her squirt, which is probably

some sort of Kryptonian alcohol. And I was like,

really, dude? You've been in here for all of

three days, and you're already hitting on your

one -time student? Classy. Yeah. Yeah, that was

more creepy to me than the age difference between

Lucy and Jimmy. Yeah. So there's that. Is it

creepy because he's hitting on a student or is

it creepy because it's Peter O'Toole? It's creepy

because he's hitting on a student and he's, what,

three times her age? Yeah, basically. Yeah, at

least three times her age. So she somehow breaks...

Well, she keeps she keeps bugging him about trying

to find a way out and at this point you can see

his alters kind of checked out He's like, I don't

care. I'm just gonna drink click click click

click, you know, and then let's think about she

then he breaks down and tells her that there's

you know the What do you call it the rift? You

know, it's the entrance exit to the zone. Really?

it took And I'm gonna swear again here for a

second, I apologize to our listeners, but it

took nuclear fucking weapon to release Zod and

company in the second movie. Yeah. And she climbs

up a mountain with bad weather conditions. Yeah,

that's not - What the fuck? That's not, not,

not a good plot device at all. Yeah, and then

I mean - Selena's got the requisite magic mirror

because evil sorceresses all have magic mirrors

because otherwise, how would they talk to each

other? Yeah, and she starts sending fireballs

down and then for some reason Zoltar is like

I Don't care. So he basically allows himself

to be taken by the winds and killed and you know

just before he sacrifices himself quote -unquote

to get Supergirl up onto a ledge and She flies

out of the portal back through selena's mirror

into reality, and it's you know ding ding round

two Yeah, pretty much and round two is fairly

quick yeah, I mean well first of all she does

the class it's a classic you know quote -unquote

super villain trope to have the hostages in cage

spheres hanging over you know red hot pokers

that Wow, what what shade of orange paint is

that because? You know the red hot pokers didn't

look at all you know threatening No, nothing

about Selena in the entire movie is threatening

nothing at all The only time she gets threatening

is where she starts doing that power of shadow

Give me a diet sprite you know where she starts

casting a spell quote unquote She's sitting there,

you know doing the whole arms out looking vaguely

zombified casting a spell and then you see that

the dragon pot is turned into like this dragon

staff with Big tits like I keep coming back to

this but why the fuck with the power of the orb

caused this lead line pot? To not even like grow

and change shape but Jesus Anyway Alright, so

to wrap up the you know the plot discussion here

basically Well, why what there's a big like the

monster, you know tries to crush Supergirl. Yeah,

that doesn't work. You know basically the Obi

-Wan Kenobi moment was Zaltar's ghost So basically

yeah that that all happens and of course as we

already kind of said Ethan knows that Linda and

Supergirl one in the same blah blah blah doesn't

care that you know doesn't Knows that he may

never see her again blah blah and the final scene

shows her returning to Argo City a darkened Argo

City which promptly lights up as soon as they

plug the sphere back into its outlet Indeed,

but you've got to mention one thing. Supergirl

and Superman fight evil the same way in their

movies. She doesn't turn back time, but she flies

around really fast and sucks to Selena, Bianca,

and this monster back into the phantom zone.

You can almost hear the - It's not changing time.

It's reversing the effects. It's kind of like

hitting rewind when someone drops a glass. true

you know it's not like i don't have a problem

with what she did because it's not her trying

to turn time back and and yeah i'm okay with

that i i honestly am because it's not that same

damn plot device that they used in the first

two movies. And if the producers, and I think

I said this in the Superman one and two episode

with Dan, if the producers would have just ponied

up the friggin' dough and just let Donner tell

his story, blah, blah, blah, whatever, I don't

know. So yeah, basically, like I said, film ends

with the city coming back to life, blah, blah,

blah. The cast here, we've got Helen Slater as

Linda Lee Supergirl, Kara Zor -El, Faye Dunaway

as Selena, Peter O'Toole as Zaltar, Ellis from

Die Hard as Ethan, Mia Farrow as Allura, Little

Supergirl's mom. Okay, well it doesn't say L

at the end of it, so. Brenda Vaccaro as Bianca

Peter Cook as Nigel Simon Ward Mark McClure Maureen

Turfi David Healy and Sandra Dickinson as the

PYT Only Michael Jackson fans will get that reference

Let's talk about Helen Slater here because I

hadn't realized how much stuff she did after

this She's in everything let's see here um...

uh... uh... chris uh... well there's legit billy

jean well she was the most thing that most people

will know is uh... uh... she was bonnie rayburn

in city slickers i need to go back and watch

city slickers but she was also in uh... secret

of my success You know when you look at the wiki

I was like that one of my favorite Michael J

Fox films I mean Right, you know she did like

I said in the GTF. She was the first voice of

Tali Al Ghul on Batman TAS Yeah And she came

like I also she came back on smallville and played

Superman's mom That's like that like for me like

when I'm not thinking about this movie in standards

of like like reviewing it and just watching it

for enjoyment that for me when she came back

to do Lara Elle I was like oh my god hell yeah

can you imagine if they took her and took Laura

van der voet and made it daughters of Krypton

and had them you know have her be have Helen

be the original Supergirl and have Laura be the

modern day. That would be so awesome if there

was a series for that, but sadly there won't

be. She's in several episodes of Law and Order.

She was in an episode of Boston Public. She was

in The New Adventures of Old Christine, Crossing

Jordan, Supernatural. She was in that. Recently,

as of three years ago, she was in an episode

of Private Practice in 2011. She was in Rock

the House. 2011 to the present, she has a recurring

role as a series regular on The Lying Game. The

Lying Game is an American teen drama and television

series produced by Enterprises. That's one of

the ABC Family it's like pretty little liars

all that stuff. I love Helen Slater. She's a

great actress And perfectly cast as Supergirl,

I mean, oh, yeah, it's you know, kind of like

I think it was Ebert that said, you know, it's

almost serendipitous that you know she was the

perfect cast member for Supergirl just how Christopher

Reeve was like perfectly suited for Clark and

Superman so Yeah, moving on to fade done away

here. She's done before Supergirl She did a lot

of really cool films after Supergirl. She did

a really a lot of good stuff Most people might

know her from the two Jakes She was a voice in

that Let's see. What's more recent? She was at

the two Jakes or Chinatown He was Chinatown wasn't

it? No, she's in The Two Jakes and I'm looking

at the Evelyn Murphy or Mul -Ray, The Voice,

1990. Let's see, Don Juan DeMarco, she was in

that movie. She was in Dunstan Checks In, so

again, I guess she needed a paycheck that year.

Yeah, that movie. And the classic albino alligator.

Yeah, oh god looking at so she was in Gia oh

I completely forgot she was in Thomas Crown Affair

I know I did too I was just looking at that I

was gonna say that I completely forgot that she

was in that Let's see what else what else what

else she was in an anonymous Rex which Well clearly

that That was a decent sci -fi ask movie, but

you know again paycheck Yeah, she was in episode

of Grey's Anatomy so she's got an amazing amazing

filmography as well Peter O'Toole he let's see

Peter O'Toole filmography okay started in 1960

did some really really cool things between that

and Supergirl recently obviously he passed away

Oh wait, did he pass away? Wait, one of these

actors passed away at some point? Yeah, he uh...

I'm looking here, dude. Holy shit, he's still

alive! Which one passed away? There was one of

them that passed... I swear, I looked at this...

I looked at the main actors that... Oh, Peter

Cook! Um... Yeah, cause I'm looking here, uh...

The movies I know him from in the 80s was The

Stuntman where he played like this pretty well

psychotic kind of director. Peter Nigel is who

I was thinking of. The character of Nigel, Peter

Cook, the actor, passed away. But no, Peter Atul

is still alive. He's still kicking. He's in King

Ralph. Jesus. Phantoms with Ben Affleck. And

that's like was the bomb and phantoms you Bird

bitch phantoms like a motherfucker Oh Kevin Smith,

yes Using ratatouille Peter O'Toole why why?

He's done TV too, you know Yeah, he's done a

bunch of stuff. He, yeah. The guy's got a, he's

got a career. Yes, he does. That's the lack of

work, so. Yeah, it's interesting that Hartbockner,

Boxner, or whatever the hell he says his name.

He didn't do much. No, I mean, I'm... The only

thing I recognize him from when you look at his,

you know, his IMDB, I mean, there's Caratrain,

which is an early horror film that, well, it's

a horror film that I've seen anyhow. He was looking

at Crossing Jordan, you know, pretty much everyone's

done that show. I remember him mostly from being

like the main villain in Urban Legend's final

cut, the horror movie sequel. You know, he was...

Arthur Reeves in bat. Wow. He was in mask of

the phantasm. Oh Yeah, that's right Hmm. It was

like the Go back and watch that again. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't notice that And then you got you

know Mark McClure well aside from being Jimmy

Olsen in the movies and I think he showed up

in Smallville at some point Yeah, they did all

kinds of references to that. Yeah wow he was

all three back to the features according to his

uh yeah wow i mean yeah so i mean that's you

got you got some stars you got some stars just

starting in this movie i mean the movie itself

it wasn't a bomb but it because you know i i

you never can tell what everyone's got a different

definition for movie bomb. I mean, it made more

or less half its money back at the box office.

And it, you know, so it financially bombed, but

some critics liked it. I mean, some fans, you

know, it's just, my God, this movie just... I

mean, you look... at just the the the movie itself

it it's I'm gonna say it's competently made which

is the nicest thing I can say about this doesn't

make a lick of freaking sense yes so getting

into some of the other stuff here the main thing

that's interesting to me is that the soundtrack

by Jerry Goldsmith The 1993 silver screen album

with 23 tracks is actually in iTunes I Never

thought the score to Supergirl would be in iTunes

Yeah What I Mean again, that's probably the one

thing I remember the most about this movie like

having watched just like you know couple days

ago is The score was very good. You get a You

get go Jerry Goldsmith take on the Superman music

like there's some Right, there's a bit of a refrain

in there. That's reminiscent of you know, the

John Williams. I mean originally Like I said

in Superman one Goldsmith was up for the role

of you know Composer good composer in the first

Superman film. So I mean he put his effort here

the one thing that I and this is the absolutely

like there's no way you could explain to me explain

this to me is the poster for the film if you

go to the Wikipedia article and You look at the

Supergirl poster it's you know her first great

adventure because this was supposed to be a spin

-off film and they're gonna make more movies

and she I didn't mention it when we were talking

about the movie here. It basically takes in and

around Midvale, Illinois, which is essentially

a suburb of Chicago. Oh, so I know exactly what

you're going to bring up. There is the poster.

You clearly see her swirling around the Statue

of Liberty with the two towers in the background.

I'm just saying it doesn't make sense. Like a

lot of this movie doesn't make sense. Well, the

Superman movies don't make sense because they

actively portray Metropolis as New York. Well,

yeah, I mean, that's... I mean, that's, you know...

That was the basis ever since the Golden Age

of comics, but I get what you're saying. I know

that, yeah, and I see what you're saying as far

as that goes. I am so happy that when I got images

for the podcast art and stuff for this spotlight

here in MWIRE that I got them... Our good buddy

Michael Wilson oh so long ago cuz this um This

this spotlight here was supposed to have been

done like back in episode 40 of My it was supposed

to be done after we finished the the Batman spotlight

that we did and we never got around to it So

I've been sitting on these images of the menu

screens from the DVD sets basically I had Michael

Wilson wipe out the title like the titles on

the DVD sets where it's you know play you know

yeah the menu things and I had him wipe those

out and Steve kind of Megatron touched him up

and I've been holding on to these images for

so long just to use for this because I was not

gonna use a poster of Supergirl flying through

New York when it never effing happened in the

movie at all So I think what we're gonna do now

is, because we've been talking for one long ass

time here, we are gonna take a quick break and

then we'll come back with our final thoughts

and rating for the film. We'll be back after

this. Coming to Grand Rapids, Michigan on September

21st and 22nd is Grand Con Gaming and Comics

Convention presented by Celebration Cinemas.

Join us in playing or chatting it up with fellow

enthusiasts in a community that understands your

passions. Get lost in the adventure of your favorite

role -playing game. Admire costumes and art from

vendors and attendees. Meet the creators behind

your favorite mainstream and independent games

and comic books. Check out unpublished games

and sneak peek at things to come. You can get

all this and more at GrandCon. For more information,

please visit www .grand -con .com. We are back,

and... Alright, final thoughts on Supergirl,

sir. Yeah. As much as I like the Supergirl costume,

because I did kind of read... the 80s -era Supergirl

comic book. I basically read everything I could

get my hands on as a kid. And if you go to the

Wiki article and you look at the deleted material,

there's an image of the prototype costume, which

is basically Supergirl with a headband. You know,

it's straight out of the 80s. And I think that

would have made this movie a little bit better

for me if they had used that particular getup.

But overall, I mean, like I said before, I loved

the movie as a kid. Because what did I know then

and I? Was mildly entertained by it now I mean

I laughed my ass off most of the time watching

this movie and doing the JTF and you know Before

the podcast here, so you know I like it. It's

not perfect. It's not that good, but it's okay

Yeah, I I still love this movie I really do.

Like, I know a lot of people on the internet

are like, oh well you can't say... There's some

people I've seen that they say that, oh, I hate

the phrase, this is a turn your brain off kind

of movie. Well, there are movies like that, where

you just turn your brain off and you just enjoy

them. And this is one of those ones for me, even

as a kid it was, and even now it is. It's not

a movie I'm going to watch once a year, once

every six months. It might be a movie I watch

every four or five years. And to this point,

up until this recording, I hadn't seen it in

at least 15 years. You know, it's not something

that I'm gonna watch. You know, it's not an Iron

Man 3. It's not an Iron Man. It's not a Spider

-Man 2. You know, it's not any of that. It's...

But it is still good old -fashioned, classic,

strange, weird, fun. Yeah. So, here at MWIRE,

we are adopting the GCR and Universal rating

system, which is the rating system that we use

for most of our written stuff. Basically, zero

to five stars. There are halves in there. well

and I am going to give this a three star which

means I liked it as far as like actually analyzing

it my rating for the film for MWIRE would be

three stars that I liked it my personal feeling

on the film is that I really really really love

it because it's it's just so you know it's just

who good to go back and look at it it really

is they like like i said before it like i don't

think i will ever which outside of the first

superman film honestly i don't think i'll ever

go back and watch the other superman films again

unless it's the lester version of superman two

uh... but uh... but yeah so i give it three stars

out of five what about you sir uh... i'd give

it the uh... three -and -a -half you know cuz

It I do kind of remember it finally, you know

as coming from a kid Like I said, you know, I

did laugh but I still got a lot of enjoyment

out of the movie Yeah, and You know, it's Helen

Slater in that suit. It's like, you know what

not gonna argue with that one No, no, she and

she is still very attractive today. I mean back

then it's so damn Yeah, so but I mean overall

I enjoyed the film, you know, it is what it is

And, you know, we can harp about, you know, inconsistencies

and everything. But, yeah, it's... I enjoyed

it. I really wanted to see Lara Vandervoet in

the suit, though. If they ever do a Supergirl

television series or if they ever do a new Supergirl

movie, she has to be the one to play the character.

Oh, my God. Smallville. Oh, boy. Yeah, and I

need to I need to change something here I am

giving it three and a half because three and

a half is liked it three stars is barely passing

so And I will put the universal ratings link

in this post so people can see what we're talking

about But yeah, no, that's um, that's the Supergirl

episode next up we've got Superman for Quest

for Peace. It's gonna be really interesting that

episode of the podcast because movie revolt Dan

has never seen that film up till this podcast

next week. Oh, I hope he didn't break himself.

Well, yeah, let's hope. There is and you'll hear

it in my JTF folks There is a leap in logic involving

the villain quote unquote that Superman fights

in that movie that Is 100 % pure what the fuck?

But we'll go you'll hear that next time Yeah,

we'll hear that next time. So thank you for joining

us here on MWIRE. We will catch you next week

in the DC Spotlight as we head to 1987's Superman

4. And as I said at the beginning of this podcast,

because I watched these movies when I was 9 or

10, which is basically two years after their,

you know, obviously Supergirl was a number of

years, but specifically Superman 4 was like two

or three years after it released. There's going

to be a lot of, um... You're going to wonder

what Superman and Madonna have in common, so

I will leave you with that. Oh jeez. Keep those

film reels rolling. us listen to Movie Week in

Review on GeekCastRadio .com. If you would like

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