Ranking the Star Wars Films

This is Phil Lamar, and you are listening to

the Geekcast Radio Network. Execute Order 66.

You're listening to the five -year celebration

of the Geekcast Radio Network. stroke the wookie

Daniel Craig's my wookie bitch now. Daniel Craig

is my wookie bitch now. Help me Obi -Wan Kenobi.

You're my only hope. Hello and welcome to GeekCast

Radio this is episode 66 and this is the rank

of Star Wars or I guess you could say the rank

order of Star Wars if you'd like. I am your host

TF - one of your hosts TFG1 Mike joining me is

Steve Megatron. Hello. Hello. And joining us,

I honestly, we've done so many episodes of GCR.

I have no idea when the last time this guy was

on one of these episodes. I honestly don't know

if he's been on any of the GCR episodes itself.

But we have SuperStarWarsFad and Michael Wilson

with us. Hello, sir. Hey, how's it going? It's

going. I'm pretty sure I've been on GCR. No,

no, no. He's saying he doesn't remember the last

time you were. On the flagship podcast. Yes,

you're on the network. You're on all the transformer

stuff and everything else. That's what I'm saying.

I'm pretty sure I have been on the flagship at

least once. Maybe. I honestly don't remember.

I just can't. I can't place it either. In five

years we've done... Probably over a hundred episodes,

but in the numbered scheme of my numbering We're

only up to the 66th episode in five years of

the network. So it's like I don't remember What

yeah, I just don't remember so I don't remember

either if it were that important I'd probably

remember. Yeah, really. Yeah So we remember that

for a dollar No, I wouldn't I possibly couldn't

possibly own franchise our own franchise. All

right, so We have spent Steve. I believe it's

close to six and a half hours on Star Wars coverage.

I would say it's a fair assessment. Okay. Well,

here's the thing for people Way back an M. Wire

Movie we can review we did episode 75 parts 1

and part 2 Part 1 was the original trilogy where

we all went in depth on our thoughts of the Star

Wars Original trilogy part two was where we bashed

the hell out of I assume because I haven't listened

to it in a long ass time Where we bash the hell

out of the prequel trilogy? So that those two

podcasts in total are just north of five hours

And then we did the spaceballs coverage which

okay technically it's not in the Star Wars universe

But is a spoof of Star Wars and is easily better

than Phantom Menace and attack of the clones

combined You know, we also did the Star Wars

versus Star Trek episode, which was about four

hours of arguing about Star Wars. Actually, that

was three... three hours and something, so...

It was really long. Yeah, there was a lot of...

There was a lot of debate going on there. Our

Star Wars coverage is probably in the range of

nine and a half, maybe ten hours total in the

past five years. That'll change. Oh. Oh yeah.

Come on now. We could have a show on Star Wars

Rebels. Yeah. We could have a show on Clone Wars,

actually. That was a good show. Good TV series,

less than about five seasons. Six seasons. Yeah.

I'm in the middle of currently restructuring

how I want to do the Tooncast Beyond format as

far as releases, so we'll have to talk about

those at a later date. But we are here today

to... Um, originally I wanted to do a retrospective.

We've done retrospectives enough so far for Star

Wars. We talk about it half all the time anyway,

all of us do. Um, Optimus Solo could not be here

because, um, uh, Greedo shot him. No, the pizza

bludgeoned him. Pizza the Hut? No, Pizza the

Hut. He would have eaten Pizza the Hut. That's

true. You're a delicious boss. We've done all

this retrospective stuff in the past, and so

Optimus Soul pointed that out to me, and I'm

like, okay, well, how am I gonna do this? We

have plans for GCR to do many, many, many, many

top 10 episodes, whether it be top 10 films,

whether it be top 10 any kind of countdowns in

the future. Optimus Soul and I are actually in

the process of... Planning I believe it's either

five or ten episodes for next year either five

or ten Star Wars Countdowns to lead up to the

release of episode seven Yeah scary Well, it

would be like we did with it would be like what

we did with the top ten film thing that we did

So it's not gonna be it's not a gigantic top

100 thing that we usually do. It's something

on a much smaller scale. But I figured, okay,

well, you know, we're pretty much a year out

from episode seven. Let's kind of go back and

talk about how we each, you know, because honestly,

I don't remember half. I don't re -listen to

a lot of the old episodes of anything that I

do. So I don't remember half the crap that was

said in the MWIRE episode. I do. Yeah, you remember

everything. Unfortunately. Yes. So this overly

long intro of mine here is basically to tell

you that we are here to talk about Star Wars.

We're each going to give how we each get into

the franchise here in the intro and then we're

going to take a break. We're going to come back

and we are actually going to rank the six films,

the six current released films from worst to

best. And then after that we're going to talk

about some other stuff later on. So, Steve, how

did you first get into Star Wars? Was it the

toys? Was it the films? I was introduced to it

after getting into Star Trek. My brother actually

got three VHS tapes of the original trilogy for

his birthday, to which he watched the crap out

of them. I watched Star Trek. So the rivalry

began as early as that. I liked Star Trek, or

Star Wars, the original trilogy. And then my

stepdad likes it as well. So that kind of helped

cement that in. Whereas my family was all Star

Trek. So it kind of gave me that little bit of

a balance. And then we got to see like the remastered

and then He had tickets for the Phantom Menace

before, like a month before it came out. Oh,

wow. Well, they had a mass pre -order. Everybody

did in our area. At minimum, it was like two,

three weeks out. So he had it already ready and

saw it in the theater. At the time was kind of

impressed, but it still was no Star Trek to me

or no original original trilogy That was fighting

words So Well, it wasn't terrible it wasn't my

favorite thing in the world I could see that

they tried to give it the new vibe, but it um

or the old vibe but again that was that was how

i first started in it uh attack of the clones

i never saw in theater i watched that on dvd

and then uh revenge of the sith they uh i saw

in theater um i remember for me i remember um

i didn't see any of the originals on in theaters

Because by the time Jedi came out, I was three

years old. So yay Michael is the oldest three

of us here. Yeah. Hey Old people that's right

way to rub it in blanchard. I know right So I

feel really old when I when I tell you guys that

I saw the original a new hope in theaters Back

before they called it a new hope Yeah, it's called

Star Wars. It's called Star Wars. Yeah, it's

the name of the movie. There is no new hope.

Yeah, I saw it, I want to say when I was five

and I had all the toys. I was too young to be

proud of myself for being a completionist, but

I totally was. I have a lot of happy memories

about all the action figures and the Starships.

And the Devastator ripped their face off. No,

no, no, I didn't get... I mean there was no Devastator

for years and years, but but in fact and this

is I've probably told this story five or six

times already, but I had all these Star Wars

toys up through return of the Jedi and Around

1982 or so I started playing with he man a lot

and my mom said well, you're playing with he

man Do you still want these Star Wars toys and

I went? Nah, not really. It's okay. You know

and she sold them for like a penny on the dollar.

Oh my god Oh, oh, yeah If I could have been heartbroken

about it, I would have been I was heartbroken

when I started collecting Transformers and my

mom said do you really want this? You know all

this he man stuff and I went yeah Not really,

you know, and then she sold all that I had like

everything he made and she sold it for like 40

bucks Which inflationary dollars might be like

65 but regardless, you know, it was it was pennies

on the dollar and she get rid of it all and oh

man, you know Now that I'm older it really hurts

because man that that would have been really

cool to have nowadays All that stuff would have

been awesome to have Yeah, specifically for the

monetary value because it would be way more than

$65 even exactly even for me it was kind of weird

because I Had seen I really confused. I think

it was around 87. I Had really confused which

I don't know how I can did this but I confused

a new hope with the Ewoks cartoon. No, not the

Ewoks, the droids cartoon. Because I always thought

the droids did more in the movie than what they

actually do. And with A New Hope, I was just,

even at seven years old, at the end I was like,

wait, that's it? Where's the rest of the movie?

What's going on here? That's all? What a crock.

They blow up the Death Star, that's all there

is. Sorry. That was true. They blow up the Death

Star and Chewbacca doesn't get a medal. And then

that's the end of the movie. Yeah. And then Empire,

I saw Empire. And Empire, as a kid, I liked it.

I think Empire, I could be wrong. And Michael

and Steve, you guys both have kids, so maybe,

well, Steve, you're... Boy isn't old enough yet,

but Michael, maybe you can correct me if I'm

wrong. To me as a kid, Empire was a horror movie.

I'm not saying it's a horror movie in the truest

sense, but Jesus Christ, a lot of the scenes

in Empire as a seven -year -old scared the crap

out of me. Really? Yeah. How old was I when Empire

came out? 87, you were about 17. I think that's

right. What I was born in 73. So I was about

11 Where you go with your man? No, 14 actually.

So I was awful. Wait, my math is awful. I was

off by three years I said in 84. I was 11. All

right, so I said 17 and you're actually 14 So

I was only three years off. So I wasn't that

bad. No would have been 13 Yeah, anyway So, you

know, I'm old I get it and then Jedi Jedi was

the cop as a kid now keep in mind as a kid Jedi

was the comedy one because obviously you have

the Ewoks and And all this and all that and you

have all these weird -looking aliens that are

now pilots in the Rebel Alliance. I Just didn't

get that as a kid but what i absolutely loved

and this goes back to the old days when i used

to collect things when they originally came out

on video cassette the boxes for each of the they

don't make box art like this anymore they just

don't the the first film you've got darth vader's

head in the background you've got luke lea and

han and the droids the second one again is darth

in the background with Empire Strikes Back's

VHS cover to me looks like an old romance, hard

-looking romance novel because you've got Luke

here, you've got Han and Leia looking like they're

gonna kiss, and then Jedi just looks like a straight

-action movie. When it comes to the prequels...

I saw Phantom Medicine Theaters. I regret it

to this day. It was a fun, you know, going to

the theater adventure with the movie. Attack

of the Clones. I don't remember if I saw that

in theaters or not. In Revenge of the Sith, I

know I didn't because that was the beginnings

of people giving me bootlegged stuff because

I actually saw it before it came out. And you

still didn't go see it anyway? I would have gone

and saw it. I would have. I would have, but I

didn't. There's definitely something to be said

for seeing something on the big screen. The one

thing that I do remember is with Phantom Menace,

regardless of how awful that movie is, the theater

I went to, we walked in and there was a poster

in there and I kid you not, I was like, wait,

no, that's the, what is that? It was a Revenge

of the Jedi poster. And I'm like, Revenge of

the Jedi? May 20 -something, 1983? Well, a lot?

I had never seen it before, because I know that

was the original, it was one of the original

working titles of Return of the Jedi, and I guess

somebody went to Lucas and said, hey, or maybe

it was his promotional department that came up

with that, and he went to them and said, yeah,

Jedis don't seek revenge. Yeah. Not their thing.

Sigh. Seeing R2 fly was just another reminder

of what a shoestring budget first movie was First

couple of you know, actually, yeah, I think if

Lucas could have pulled it off He would have

made R2 fly in somewhere around return of the

Jedi just for the hell of it As far as the rest

of the franchise I wasn't really into the toys

I Watched several of the animated series that

have been out over the years. I still have yet

to really get into the Clone Wars I did try to

watch Clone Wars the the Tartakov ski the oh

Yeah, the genity Gen D Gen D. Yeah, whatever

is that is the that was a very interesting series.

I Tried watching it. I can't get past the animation

style is really the only thing I have wrong with

that series. I do need to go back and kind of

rewatch Clone Wars and I'm kind of interested

in Rebels but I don't know. I'm kind of interested

in Rebels because they say it's going to tie

into the new trilogy. See I thought it was originally

when I saw a plot synopsis for it or something

or other it said it was going to be in between

Sith and Hope, like in between episode 3 and

4, but it probably has changed since then. I

don't know. I think we need to go ahead and get

to the ranking of Star Wars after this. Want

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is half the battle. All right, so from best to

worst the top six Star Wars films best to worst

Michael what is your number six worst? This would

be the absolute worst of the six films Would

it be? the Phantom Menace Can we all agree on

that? Let's just throw it out there. I want to

say so Okay, so all of us have number six is

the Phantom Menace unanimous, okay eyes have

it Never tell me the odds Well, the eyes have

it is you know Starscream, but anyway That was

intentional. Yes, I know It basically floated

right over Michael's head. So the Phantom Menace,

while it is stunningly, it is visually stunning,

the plot for that movie is absolutely ridiculous.

The fact that being a Jedi is no longer a religion

and it is bacteria, that's ridiculous. Or not

being the force. You know being some sort of

religious belief or something or other instead

of it being that it's Bacteria in your body.

That's a little mmm. What the hell's wrong with

you Lucas? I I foresee us asking that question

a lot this episode What the hell is wrong with

you Lucas is wrong with Lucas on the one hand?

It's like yeah, you want to be able to explain

how it passes from father to son Mm -hmm. You

know it's got to be genetic But on the other

hand, it's like, oh, come on, it's an energy

field that connects us and binds us. Wrong in

the head it is. It's a tree, the rock. Lucas

E .B. The rock's alive? I saw it move once. The

other thing I find absolutely implausible with

Phantom Menace is the fact that young Anakin

Skywalker... Can just become a pilot This kid

is what seven eight nine years old something

like that. I don't even remember how old the

kids supposed to be in the movie But he just

you know like any stupid Transformers cartoon

kid just jumps in a spaceship and Just starts

hitting buttons randomly and oh that works. Oh

that works. That's how I did it. I jumped in

and hit buttons randomly That was awful That

was on kin to Jar Jar Binks winning an entire

war by tripping over robot parts. He's like,

what? How am I still alive? Oh, I'm an idiot.

That's how that happened. What else don't we

like? Okay, because it'd probably be easier to

say this. What do you guys like about the Phantom

Menace? Anything? Well, I like the hologram of...

Palpatine's Darth Sidious like I like the fact

that he didn't have to actually be there, but

he could project it and You knew it was him but

yet Nobody else did at that point Yeah, I mean

that was interesting. I mean I kind of expected

him to be there I expected Sidious to be there.

I didn't completely expect Palpatine to be there

mm -hmm I didn't it was cool What I didn't expect

about that whole thing was that as Palpatine,

Ian McDermott, what's his last name? McDermott?

McDermott, yeah. Ian McDermott. I didn't expect

him as Palpatine to look so young, because I've

always seen the guy as old decrepit emperor.

Well, okay, he's not always decrepit, but...

Well, the funny part about that is, is it actually

worked out well that he came back to do the prequels,

because... his body because when you get older

like your like the thinness of your face and

everything goes away and everything else like

when you get to your 60s and everything and um

or late 50s and everything but uh well geez late

50s you're not far away michael i wasn't quiet

there blanchard i know you were i was but anyways

i was trying to say that he was real young when

he went and did The Emperor the first time so

it was a lot thinner. So it actually worked with

the more frail version of the Emperor Whereas

playing Palpatine he actually looks his age Right

Yeah, if not younger just because of the character

so I Always thought that that was kind of interesting

how that just happened to work out that way.

Oh Absolutely. No, I cuz I wasn't sure how they

were gonna do I Wasn't sure how they were gonna

do it and I mean, oh my god, he's only 69 years

old. Holy crap He looks so much older in real

life than what he actually is even without the

Emperor makeup Wow No, sir. Yeah, it's a trap

Other things I liked about Phantom menace If

it wasn't for the fact that they had to use,

you know, the pod racing stuff, if it wasn't

for the fact that Annie is the only human that

can do it, I like the pod racing stuff outside

of that. Little orphan Annie. Yeah, I know. I

like, this is the first time I really ever saw,

I think, I don't know, I could be wrong. This

is the first time I ever saw a Liam Neeson movie.

I like him as Qui -Gon. It's... Strange to see

him now in that role after seeing him in some

other things that he's done in the past Six or

seven years But you know seeing a young Obi -Wan

as even McGregor that was that was really interesting

how they were in a Kind of emulate or find an

actor that could emulate a young Alan Guinness

Finally I could do the accent. Yeah, that's that's

true, too He's got the OV -1 accent dead on.

Oh, absolutely. I forget if it's you, Michael,

or if it's somebody else that always argues about

this. I liked the lightsaber battle between Qui

-Gon, OV -1, and Darth Maul. Somebody used to

argue, but that double -edged lightsaber, that

had just cut his own hand off, or that had cut

his head off if he spins it above his head or

something or else. And I'm thinking, this is

make -believe people. No, I've seen Ray Park

do that in person. Oh, okay. I've seen, I was

at a convention and Ray Park was there and he

was surrounded by, I don't want to say like people

in general, but like little kids. And he would

take them aside one at a time, give them a lightsaber

or a mall lightsaber and show them how to do

the spin move. Oh, wow. And he, and then he would

like swing a lightsaber at them and the little

kid would do the spin move. And he, you know,

he was just being really cool. Mm -hmm, and we

really cool with the kids and I didn't have kids

at the time But if I did I'd be like, wow, I

can't wait for my kids to meet great park But

yeah, he could totally do all those moves Totally

did it. I think my big problem is that You know

the the huge lightsaber battle and and well a

new hope right is Obi -Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader

basically kind of like moving like statues. You

know, like rock 'em, sock 'em robots and they're

just like errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

It's 900 years old and his ass is doing spin

kicks. So Your argument is invalid All right,

so number five Steve what is your number five

Attack of the clones are we unanimous on what

number five is? Michael yes. Yeah That's number

five, attack the clones. I have here, the clones

are coming, the clones are coming! Retweeted

in code, George, retweeted in code. A bunny rabbit,

George? Anyway, attack of the clones. You got

your love story in my action movie. Exactly.

Get the way. You just have a big ass mess. You

just have a big ass mess with this film. I hate

sand. It gets everywhere. That's what she said.

It's in my ass. It's in my ears. Does sand get

in your ass? That's how romantic this movie is.

Does sand get in your ass? I'll just ask Luke

ass pretty sure there's some Luke. It's pretty

sure there's some sand in your Luke ass Just

awful line just a terrible and the whole thing

is like emo Anakin. Oh Man, it was just so bad,

you know, I didn't I didn't like The little toe

-headed little kid who just gets lucky and blows

up entire Starships and I certainly didn't like

the emo teenager who's just like Everybody hates

me man, and you know you mean you mean the Queen

that had jailbait oh Yeah She's like I say when

they met yeah, like he was eight and she was

like 14 or something and you're like, yeah, they're

gonna get married Yeah, that's gonna have he's

like he's like I'm so gonna go after that, you

know No, he met her met up with her again told

her like why doesn't he love me? You know, I

bet And this is my internal, you know, my internal

thinking here is that he used a Jedi mind trick

on her. He totally did. He's like, I love her

and she doesn't notice me. And then he's like,

you will marry me. And she's like, yeah, I'll

marry you. He did the hand trick and says, I

will tap that. And it had a little tapping motion

with his hand as he did it. I tap that. Tap,

tap, tap. That's horrible. It is horrible, but

he was in her bedroom at night, so. But then

again, so with little scorpion things. I could

have said, yeah. Oh, man, we almost descended

into tentacle porn again. Why does this always

happen? That scorpion is really knocking on her

door. Jabba's not there to chain her up, so.

Oh god, can you just imagine a slave Queen Amidala?

Oh god. Now I could have sworn... It'd be nicer

than a modern -day slave Leia. Well, it depends

on who the model is for modern -day slave Leia.

No, I'm saying if it were the original. Oh, for

Carrie Fisher? I says it'd be better than the

original. We're getting all kinds of creepy.

It's burning over here. I'm like, ugh. My eyes

are burning. Wait a second. Oh, I gotta get this

metal bikini to reach down to my waist. Hold

on a second. I gotta scoop them up. I can no

longer wear this song. I have to get the metal

grainy panties. I have a bad feeling about this.

It's a trap. Yes, it's a trap. I cannot confirm

this, but, and I've said this before on other

podcasts, I could have sworn during the filming

or during the release of this movie that, what's

his nuts, Christensen and Portman were dating,

but everywhere I've looked online for either

one of them, does not say that they ever dated

but I could have sworn they were at the time

of filming this movie because that's I think

it was Lucas or one of the one of the producers

or somebody said that's why their chemistry is

so good because they're actually dating um honestly

was awful well that's why the writing the writing

was awful but yeah they were just they were dating

yeah that makes That makes no sense whatsoever.

I don't know. Anyway. He was awful. That's why,

that's why, uh, the movies were so bad. I, I

just, yeah, Michael is right. Get your love story

out of my action movie. Damn it. Like, seriously,

do we really need to see that? Like we needed

to see that long on Naboo. That scene could have

been five minutes and you know, Five minutes

of frolicking in the grass next thing. You know,

they're knocking boots and by the third movie.

She's pregnant bingo There you go. You don't

need a 15 -minute love scene of them Frolicking

in the grass. Oh god. There was actually love

scenes. They got deleted. Oh my god I don't even

want to know they extended it. Well on the boo

right on the boo. She took him back to meet her

parents they went to her family's home and like

had dinner with the family and then at some point

Said well, this is way too much stuff going on.

We got to delete all this Never mind. I'm thinking

wait a second. He already knows senator, Organa,

but that's Leia's stepfather Never mind. I was

going in a whole other direction. Let's move

on to number four now This is where I think all

of our lists are gonna differ from number four

to number one I think all of our lists are gonna

differ Michael. What is your number four? number

four is Revenge of the Sith Really? Yeah, mine

just kind of went backwards from the the new

trilogy and then forwards from the original trilogy.

Uh -huh. All right, um... I'm easy. That's what

she said. Exactly what she said. What? I would

have been disappointed if you hadn't knocked

that one down that I set up so nicely. Yeah,

I tipped it over with a bat. They kicked it.

And buried it with a shovel. And buried it with

a shovel. Cut it down with my lightsaber. What

was it about number four that, er, well, wait.

What about Revenge of the Sith and make it number

four? Yes, yes. Well, I mean, the original trilogy

was plagued with just bad acting and questionable

writing, right? But the whole time you knew that

somewhere along the line we got to get Darth

Vader out of this. Right? At some point, Anakin's

whining and emo -ness, and if that's a word,

emo -ness, I coin it now, is going to go bad

for him, and he's gonna end up, you know, turning

evil. And, you know, he goes back to Naboo, finds

his mom dead, kills everybody, you know, and

then he's like, all right, now I'm just... Ready

to turn evil and he teams up with with senator

Palpatine who finally oh no easy Emperor now,

you know, I mean like Matt like that Supreme

Chancellor but Full -on evil Emperor like I'm

ready to take over and just lay it all on the

table Sam evil So now he's he's got these yellow

eyes. He kills a bunch of kids. I mean, how dark

is that? Yeah, and then yeah the whole mustafar

That in my opinion the whole mustafar fight was

Where he kind of redeems the character not that

redeems the character in the sense that I I'm

good now But it redeems as I'm not a complete

piece of crap as a character. Yeah, you know,

I'm not a train wreck on the written page And

yeah, I mean that was that was really cool Even

they even tried to make it lame. It's like you

were the chosen one, you know You know now your

fricassee They tried to make it Tried to lighten

it a little bit because it's really dark stuff.

Yeah, you know and Yeah, that and you're in a

volcano and you're fighting and there's lava

everywhere Yeah, I mean I I even liked the no

scene I did the emo James Earl Jones Yeah, I

like that as much as I love James Earl Jones

That line should have not been in that script

That was Lucas. What happened is James Earl Jones

burnt a piece of toast And Lucas heard it and

he recorded it Lucas well, I have to include

this scene now Lucas went went to James Earl

Jones and said Uh, can I borrow your Ferrari?

And he goes, Oh, of course you may, you know,

and he gives him his Ferrari and he comes back

and says, James, I'm sorry, I wrecked your Ferrari.

And he hands him back like a broken Ferrari fender.

And James Earl Jones goes, no. So burnt toast,

I guess in the Star Wars universe, that would

be Darth toast. Yes. What about you, Steve, for

number four? This is where it gets funky Empire

Strikes Back Why would you say that? That's not

true. That's impossible While it's a good movie,

that's the one that I out of the original trilogy

I find I can watch the least only for the fact

that And I'll get into the other points of the

other films later, but there's a few redeeming

qualities of three that I've chosen to only remember

those pieces that almost trump over Empire Strikes

Back. Actually, maybe I'll... No, I'm gonna change

Empire Strikes Back to just a new hope. Empire

Strikes Back deserves to be higher only because

Vader and Luke's epic scene. So I'm gonna say

a new hope. Okay. And that's because it's because

it's on the sand planet. It bothers me that you

would even say that because this movie has so

many epic scenes. Which one? Empire. Yeah, yeah,

I started to remember them after I put it in

that position and then I was like, oh, yeah,

it can't go this low. Oh, yeah. Steve's number

four is is a new hope. Yes. And mine is a new.

Mine is a new hype. The only problem I have,

the only two problems I have with A New Hope,

is number one, Leia kisses her brother. Even

though she doesn't know it's her brother, it

just - No, no! In fact, at that point, that wasn't

even the story. Well, I don't care what the story

was. It was a heartfelt moment. You know, I mean,

that just... In retrospect, it's creepy as all

hell. You know you like it. No, not at all. If

you don't know who your father is, you don't

really know who your sister is. That's Obi -Wan's

fault for not spilling the beans on that one.

He knew the whole time, he's like, oh yeah. Obi

-Wan's like, did you kiss her with tongue? And

he goes, yeah, it was awesome! And he's watching

from the shadow zone. It's a force ghost kind

of cringing anyway. Yeah, he's telling Qui -Gon

Hey, come over here and look at this over here.

Look at this. This is really awful the other

thing that I hold against the new hope is that

It just ends it doesn't like if this is supposed

to be a trilogy of films a new hope came out

in 77 Empire 80 and Jedi 83 If this is supposed

to be a trilogy of films do what a 1985 film

would have done Which is say to be continued

don't just end it at least with Empire were left

on a cliffhanger Even though you know Empire

is you realize this movie came out in 77, right?

So that wasn't doing the 1985 to be continued

stuff Yes, I understand that but they could have

could have well He could have the thing is is

they didn't know if it was actually going to

take off So putting that at the end would be

kind of asinine Yeah, that's true. It was the

first one of the trilogy and usually when you're

launching a new franchise you kind of play it

safe like this is the only story and then you're

like Oh, it made both lots of cash. Here's a

new story Well, if you look back on it, you see

that Fox had so little Confidence in this movie

that they gave a lot of the rights back to Lucas

Exactly Lucas said well, I'll tell you what I

went off I want full control of merchandising

and the story that we wrote and And then you

and I'll take a huge colossal pay cut as director

And they went yeah, okay cool because we can

not pay you for this and then when it Goes to

hell, you know, then then we look good, you know,

and it didn't go down everything Everything worked

out in Lucas's favor at that point. He had all

the rights Everybody went and saw it multiple

times. Mm -hmm. It was a Star Wars summer Yeah,

and that's why Star Trek two years later had

to play catch -up But their film sucked. The

original Star Trek movie sucked, you think? The

first one. The motion picture. That was so batshit

terrible. It wasn't until the Rathacon it actually

got good again. Yeah, I'm by that. I watch Rathacon

about once a year. But I haven't watched the

original one in a long, long time. The original

one's terrible. They play the half -hour, 45

-minute reassembling to Kuru and then they, you

know, throughout the story and then it just falls

to shit. A New Hope, you know, numbers four through

one for me. I like them all individually, but

I still had to rank them. A New Hope... only

gets a number four spot for me simply because

of the the way it ended and I understand it you

know ended that way for a reason but I just I

remember as a kid and even now every time I watch

it I'm like but I want more I want to know what

happened next and of course I can just pop an

empire but um so all right number three Michael

what is your number three return to the Jedi

what why Number three was returned. I'll tell

you why number three is return of the Jedi. It's

because number three is a complete rehash of

number one. No, it's not. It totally is. Well,

yeah, at the end when they go to fight the second

Death Star, it is. Yeah. Well, wait, wait for

it. You have... You start on Tatooine, right?

They have to overcome some some stuff and they

and they have to rescue somebody They go into

a they go into a dark place with a lot of aliens,

right? Yeah, okay, and then they There there's

a Luke and Leia swinging on a vine type of thing

going on there the mirroring the Death Star swing

And that happened when they escaped from the

sail barge, remember? There were fuzzy animals

involved. And the dust star blew up. I was gonna

say, wait a second, there were no fuzzy animals

in episode four, but yes, there were, okay. And

the dust star blew up. Well, most of them went...

That's right. And then they looked over at the

droids Tatooine but yeah, so I I I Had the feeling

that you know Irving Kirchner Did the second

movie and then George Lucas said? Well, that

was a downer. I'm just gonna go do my first movie

over again And they did and I mean granted They

had a lot more money to work with. The special

effects were a lot better. The number of aliens

doubled. They tried to go back and do the first

one quote unquote right. And worse, they kind

of went at it from a marketing perspective. The

first one I don't think was, how many toys can

we make? I think that was in his mind because

he claimed the marketing rights from Or that

you know, they were they what do they call that

not the toy rights, but it's a Merchandising

rights. They claimed the merchandising rights

from Fox and made a but ton of money and basically

Every movie that came after that had toys associated

with it. You didn't see that prior to Star Wars

so he's created this new, you know, Hollywood

cottage industry in the merchandising and by

the time you get to the Empire Strikes Back,

I'm sorry by the time he gets a return of the

Jedi, you know, he's he's like, okay This is

the last movie I'm gonna make for a long time.

I really got a you know Try to squeeze the action

figures out of this one. What do I do? You know,

well, you make Ewoks. You make things that have

appealed to little kids. That was his first,

first time at Jar Jar Binks. But they were better.

Well, if you call it better. Well, I would rather

watch a bunch of crazy teddy bears with, with

bows and arrows. Bows and arrows, yeah. And rocks,

than a guy going, lusa da lusa! And then sticking

his tongue in an electrical bolt. Honestly, if...

Lucas could have made the rest of the Gungans

a little more badass in Phantom Menace then maybe

we would have Maybe she would have been a little

more forgiving of Jar Jar Bits because maybe

he was the the outlier He wasn't as cool. Maybe

he was like the the Warwick the wicked war wicked

E warwick of the the Gungans, but no Didn't pull

it off and that failed but I mean as again He's

like what can I do to make little kids want to

buy everything that comes out of this movie?

I could make teddy bears, you know What a fantastic

idea you look at like the little gizmo stuffed

animals that were flying off the shelves at about

the same time and Lucas said hey, I want some

of that gizmo was a year later, I think was he

The film came out in 84. I believe I don't think

the toys came till later Maybe gizmo profited

from all the Ewoks selling off the shelves. There

you go. Maybe I'm not sure but that's that's

what I'm getting to is that movie of the original

trilogy that one was Designed to be a cash cow.

It was it was a rehash of the first movie except

with big dollar signs on it and That is why I

made it number three, you know, yeah Steve you're

number three that one's gonna be Star Wars episode

three mostly because this is where I find that

I enjoyed them there aren't very many moments

in it but there are some I'll get into the shit

moments in a second too but You have... You have

the Emperor, you know, you have Palpatine pushing

Skywalker and then explaining about his, you

know, his mentor, who he killed. And all of the

things, you know, basically insinuating that

at one point he could have caused Anakin to have

materialized. What? Because... There's I don't

know if you caught the scene where he's sitting

Like the force has the power to create life if

one knows how to channel it Okay. Yeah, and he

alluded to that and The way he worded it. It's

almost as if he could have caused The pure, you

know Strength of Anakin to have been created

from nothing. What are you saying Michael? Oh

Right. It's basically he's playing off the virgin

birth. Right. Right. You know, Palpatine basically

just went up to to. He didn't even have to do

that. He sky walkers. Yeah. Yeah. He basically

just went up to the Skywalker chick, pointed

her stomach and this child will be mine once

you have it. You know, he says, make my force,

baby. Wow. OK. Um, but yeah, so there's that

and then You you get to see Anakin go dark and

then Of course you you know, you see him slaughter

everybody you see mace window get his ass kicked

by Palpatine who wields dual lightsaber Waiting

for the downside here and the force and the force

blasts and then you have the moment where Obi

-Wan cuts off all limbs of Skywalker and is like,

I didn't mean to do it, and then he cuts off

another limb, and then he's like, don't do it,

and then he cuts off another limb, and then he's

like, don't do it, and then he still cuts off

another limb. So then you have this... Then you

have this MPS motherfucker laying on the ground

and he's just like, ah, and his little stubs

are crawling along and Obi -Wan's like, you were

the chosen one, which was just so - And then

he catches on fire. And then he catches on fire

and then he just stares at him and leaves. And

he, yeah, he should've - He should've at least,

you know, did the stop, drop, and roll, put him

out first and then left. But, um - I was gonna

say he should've put him out of his misery instead

of just leaving him there to die. And, and, yeah,

he should've just - Force killed him but or pushed

him into the lava Like puts your put your lightsaber

right back into the lava kicked him with his

boot As cover commander would say You can just

push him right in the lava. But anyways, the

last good moment of the film you have is you

get to see Yoda and Palpatine fight. That was

kind of... The most badass Jedi and the most

badass Sith. Yeah. You know, I just didn't...

I didn't like that. Thanks for the downsides.

Oh, go ahead. I want to hear the downside. You

get to see... What a waste Mace Windu is who's

always at Yoda's side and yet can't take down

a simple Sith. And he sits there and starts talking

as he gets blown out the window. You have Anakin

crying like a little bitch through the entire

film and then Amidala is like, you broke my heart

and then she just dies. There's just didn't have

to die. I mean, yeah, she didn't have to die.

She's like She's like go Anakin You made me die

and then she just dies like he's like I didn't

do anything It's terrible too cuz it's like if

you could think of any better reason to not die

You know having kids is pretty strong up there

with reasons not to die It's like well, my heart

is broken and I've lost the will to live. It's

like You have kids. It's like, bitch, you have

two kids coming out of you. Exactly. It's like,

you know, it's time to suck it up and just deal

with it, you know? And then she's like, OK, it's

time to give them away. Who wants a baby? Baby,

who wants a baby? And then they start auctioning

them off. And you get a baby and you get a baby.

It's like, oh, yeah, I'll get you. Babies for

everybody. But, so I mean, you have that, and

then you have, of course, just a lot of the crap

surrounding Anakin who's just batshit terrible.

And then a lot of the moments in the film are

just, oh, so convenient. Yeah. And then you get

to see Chewbacca, which is cool. For a half a

second. Half a second. It was kind of lame though,

because Order 66 and then they all start blowing

away Jedi and Yoda's like, Time to leave! I'm

getting the fuck out of here. Yep. So I mean,

it was overall an okay movie. I can't do the

Yoda voice, but getting the fuck out of here

I am. Get the fuck out of here I am. And the

Emperor says, and then I threw the Senate at

him. No, no, the whole Senate. The power of the

dark side. Inside my ass. He threw a Senate at

me. What did he throw you? The Senate, the whole

Senate. Yeah, it sucked. For me, number three

is, and Michael's probably going to pass out

on the floor when he hears this, but Empire is

number three. Yeah, yeah, all right, it's Empire's

It's a down -ending it's just it's God it's so

depressing but you get your sequel that you wanted

out of it Well, yes, they live it open for a

sequel Yeah, I see what happens when you get

what you want. It's just it's not it's not what

you want The whole point in this last bit of

conversation was, I was trying to quote Randall.

Which did you like better, Jedi or Empire, Dante

says, because Dante is such the downer guy, Empire,

blasphemy, Empire had the better ending. He says,

Empire had the better ending, you know. Han gets

frozen by Boba Fett Luke Luke gets his hand cut

off and it ends on such a down ending and that's

what life is a series of down endings and yeah,

honestly though seriously, I The series of town

is true It's true. Um the The good parts that

I liked about Empire was I liked seeing Cloud

City. I Liked the relationship or friendship

supposed friendship of Han and Lando. And Billy

Dee Williams. Everybody knows that that's his

role. Yeah, no, no one is ever gonna play Lando

better than he can In live -action anyway voice

acting. I don't know I don't know if they've

ever recast him or anything like that in any

other series But like that was when I first noticed

him and ever every other time I've seen Billy

Dee Williams anywhere. I'm like, hey is Lando.

It's Lando Lando's the mayor of Gotham Like the

revelation that Vader is his father was just

shocking and then the whole lightsaber battle

where I Swear to God the reason why this movie

is such a you know a down noted if you even look

at you know episode Two or three whichever one

that Anakin got his hand cut. I think it was

two where he got his hand cut off Lucas loves

dismembering people's left hands or right hands

or either hey, he's ambidextrous of you know,

dismemberment of hands. It's like, why can't

one of these Jedi lose a foot or something and

have them, you know, grow tentacles out of their

leg or something? I don't know. It's like, holy

crap, you love cutting people's hands off, don't

you, George? You need that hand. No, you need

that hand. It's not a, it's not an overall bad

film. And you know, this is the top three. So

this is, you know, having it in the top three,

it means that it's... you know, part of the best

side of this list. I just, I like the other two

more. Um, I love the Hoth fight. I love the,

you know, the opening scene. I think that was

really, really well done. Um, but I prefer in

space battle action more so than I'm going to

try to freeze my son in carbonite, but he doesn't

really know that I'm his, I'm his father. Well

Yoda told him but he doesn't believe Yoda So

alright number two Michael So, you know, you

just named all the reasons why I made Empire

Strikes Back my number two, okay It might possibly

be I Don't want to say my favorite of the trilogy

because it's not number one but But it had a

lot of really cool moments and that you know,

you've got The epic fight between Darth Vader

and and Luke Skywalker and he cuts off his hand

You know defeats him just utterly This is where

you we meet Yoda and we're totally not ready.

It's like oh wow that's Yoda holy cow this little

green guy The carbon I seen with hand where he

said Leia says I love you, and he says I know

mm -hmm that is just You know it goes down as

one of the most amazing ad -libbed lines in the

history of film Yeah, and there's really oh man

the The Hoth scene I love how I love every it's

ironic because I hate being cold, but I love

the Hoth scenes You know the the the giant at

-ats, you know, it's only one way to take them

down. Yeah you introduce Lando and Cloud City

is just amazing. A few years later when they

came out with the remastered versions where he

went back and put in all the new CGI. Unlike

A New Hope where the new CGI kind of ruined it

for me, it did nothing but enhance the second

game movie. So I mean, they added stuff to Cloud

City, they added stuff to Hoth, it just made

everything look more epic and awesome. So no,

that was my number two empire. Steve, number

two? Empire Strikes Back. There you go. I really

can't add anything other than what's already

been said. After I remembered all of the important

information that you guys had already brought

up mm -hmm And I realized why it should be my

number two not my number four For me number two

is revenge of the Sith Yeah, because you like

no Because we finally get to see what Obi -Wan

was talking about in A New Hope. The whole time

he was telling Luke the story of how, you know...

You know, Darth Vader killed Luke's father. We

finally get to see the evolution of what that

was. Whether that was what it was going to be

in 1977 when Lucas first thought up this whole

idea, whatever it is. Whether what we got in

Revenge of the Sith was what it was originally

meant to be. I'm just glad for Revenge of the

Sith that we actually get to see the events that

Obi -Wan told Luke in a new hope I'm glad we

get to see those unfold and it is very interesting

to see how the Vader like how he first became

Vader like actually in the suit and okay sure

you know he's pretty much basically a metal skeleton

with a you know human face but you know it just

it really really piqued my interest I'm not so

sure... See, this is the thing. There's a discrepancy,

and this is kind of where the bad points kind

of start for me. There's a discrepancy between

Sith and Hope. Is Senator Organa the ruler of

all... is he the king of Alderaan? Because that's

the problem here. Is the Senate ruling Alderaan?

Because in A New Hope she says that her father...

Is the ruler of planet Alderaan so and she is

a princess So that's where like the whole you

know, you know really analyzing and nitpicking

that's where my nitpicks come in because in the

third film He's just a senator. So how did he

go from being a senator to a fucking king? I

I always had the impression that each planet

had its own ruler and its ruler was You know

kind of the de facto representative in the Senate

But then they've kind of break that on the boo

where you've got a queen, but you also have a

senator, right? Right another thing that we could

blame on the Phantom Menace. Yeah breaking breaking

the trilogy Well, but that's that's what i'm

wondering though. Did did organa did did jimmy

smiths from nypd blue get promoted to king and

therefore when leia was well she was already

born therefore when leia grew up grew up they

just named her princess i mean it's just that

was actually her name they named her princess

princess is her first name is her last name exactly

princess is her first name yes um you name her

princess she is no argania The the other Honestly,

there isn't like all my hate is pretty much for

Phantom Menace and attack of the clones You know,

I I understand Steve's points. Yes Anakin is

a little still a little bit too much emo, but

he's not emo over the he's more so Consumed with

wanting power you know and wanting he he wants

to save his wife by this some mystical force

power that doesn't or Palpatine won't show him

or doesn't exist But honestly out of all six

films putting I've always said this Revenge of

the Sith and return of the Jedi are my two favorites

like at the top Every time I make a Star Wars

film list that's gonna be the two at the top.

So All right, Michael number one Of course number

one There's only one left. Yes. It's a new hope.

Yes It is the number one Okay, why is it your

number one outside of the fact that it was the

first film made? Because it pisses him off that

the rest of them don't follow suit Find your

lack of faith disturbing It's the best one that

Maybe you hit it on the head a little bit It

was the first in the sense that it was the first

movie in Hollywood history that dealt with You

know epic sci -fi. I mean you had I'm trying

to think of earlier examples, but there aren't

too many because Lucas was really the first one

to do it And he kind of created a new genre that

everyone tried to copy after that. Everyone wanted

to jump on the bandwagon. And there's just an

untold number of Star Wars clones in one of these

out there. And you know, some of the stuff is

pretty good, right? Some of the TV shows that

came out after that were pretty good. And some

of the movies that came out... Pretty good, you

know battle among the stars. Oh Trying to think

of other but we all know I will say out of my

34 years on this planet It took me 27 of those

to actually care about the FETs Okay, sure when

I was a kid When I was a kid, I did I'm glad

Boba Fett gotten got eaten and then Django when

the When the prequels came out, oh, hey, he's

decapitated. Big deal. He got decapitated by

a girl's lightsaber. You know it's purple. It

wasn't pink. It was purple. I know it's purple,

but some people think that purple is a girl's

color. I don't, but some people do. Purple is

a royal color. Yes, exactly. Royal pain in the

ass. A royal pain in the ass. This is coming

from the guy that loves... you're the one that

Up until a few months ago, way back in episode

66 of The Pull Bag, when Ryan Drost from Star

Joe's and I reviewed the Django and Boba Fett

2 issue, the mini -series that Dark Horse had

done. I didn't care about the Fettes at all whatsoever

until that. Didn't really I kind of felt that

Django kind of suffered for from the same poor

treatment that Darth Maul got you know they kind

of build up this this bad guy like all this guy's

gonna be awesome And he's just gonna be so cool

and and yeah, he just died At least he got to

live past one of the movies Then they put him

in a box. Filled with Sarlaccs. The box hunter.

Steve, you're number one. Return of the Jedi.

Yeah, we can agree on that pretty much. I like

it because you get the second Death Star that

you think is not operational, but then you find

out it's a trap! And you get Luke and Vader.

on the Death Star with Emperor Palpatine and

then Palpatine just is being your typical villain

talking his ass off while Luke is standing there

like, okay, you done yet, old man? I'm tired

of listening to your shit. And then Vader just

stands there like, I don't know what to do. And

you have father and son fighting and Emperor's

Palpatine's getting off on it in his chair. And

then and then finally Vader gets knocked down

by his his much younger and stronger son and

Palpatine's like I must get some of that and

he goes over towards him and starts electrocuting

him and You know, then you get Vader finally

revealing that I'm not a bad dude And it takes

about 30 years, but you also get Peter going

no And then the the the only bad part about the

film is is they replace old Anakin at the end

with Hayden Christensen. Yeah, and I was like

Because that's not my Vader I Love it for the

the forest battle. I love the bikes I don't care

what anyone says that those speeder bikes in

the forest that that old battle was amazing I

love it for what the eventual tease is for the

love affair between Solo and Leia. The fact that

Han Solo actually grows up in this movie and

actually gives Lando the keys to the Falcon.

uh... the falcon gets so much more action in

this movie i mean it had a lot of action in the

first film not i don't remember to like it's

been a while since i've seen empire i don't remember

having s so much action in the second one uh...

but in in written return of the jenna it gets

so much more action it is the actual ship that

actually brings the death star down uh... I absolutely

love that. What else do I love about Jedi? One

thing I'll say about the added -in scenes or

the added -in materials, I love one of the cuts.

I forget which one it is because there have been

so many because Lucas likes to go back and consistently

toy with his original creations. I love when

they added in all of the cities after the Death

Star blows up. I always have liked that. Right.

I thought that was amazing. Cause that was your

first glimpse of Coruscant. Yeah. No one had

actually seen Coruscant before that. Yep. Yep.

Um, I love that, uh, Han basically becomes emo

Luke or not emo Han basically becomes emo Anakin

where he's like, Oh, okay. Well you love him

and not me. Blah, blah, blah. I won't get in

the way. Yeah, yeah The greatest thing and I

think I'm gonna have to put this I'm gonna have

to embed this in the post for a video The greatest

thing that came out of this movie wasn't anything

Well, it happened in the movie, but the scene

with Leia when they go to rescue Han and she's

the one in the bounty hunter suit Yeah, the greatest

thing of all time with as an homage to that is

Leonard from the big bang theory showing up at

a comic con in that suited to one of the big

bang theory panels It was so amazing And with

suit the bounty hunter suit that Leia was in

it was the boush. Yeah, and she goes It was it

was so amazing No, you know, honestly, I've always

liked kind of beginnings and endings and I don't

count Phantom menace as a beginning. I don't

count Attack of the clones is kind of a middle

chapter I where this franchise starts for me

is revenge of the Sith onward really honestly

Well, I mean if you're if you're looking at it

three through six not four five six and then

one two three Right, right, I see where you're

coming from. Alright, that I believe is the count.

Well, did you give your number one, Michael?

Yeah. Oh yeah, a new hope. Wait, for number one?

Number one was a new hope, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah.

Yeah, remember, because it was the first. Oh

yeah, that's right. Yeah, there was a lot of...

Just really there was a lot of firsts in this

movie, and it really captured a lot of hearts

and minds Yeah, and we got grandma Tarkin All

right We are going to take a quick break and

we're gonna give our predictions for episode

7 Because episodes 7 8 & 9 are happening After

that we're going to talk about our final thoughts

and thoughts on the future of the franchise after

this. Why are you a stuck -up, half -witted,

scruffy -looking nerf -herder? You like me because

I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels

in your life. Alright, so what are our thoughts

on... What would we like to see happen in episode

7, Michael? Well, the... That's a loaded question,

and I'll tell you why. Because I followed the

extended universe in the books. I read all the

books. Up until probably the last several years,

where eventually you get one of the solo twins

turning evil and becoming a Darth. And I want

to say it's like Darth Cadus or something. And

then Luke's wife has to take him down. Or maybe

he kills Luke's wife and someone else has and

his sister has to take him down. I Forget anyway,

but what I come down to is there's this whole

history written from like within five years after

Return of the Jedi up until like 50 years after

return of the Jedi is all this stuff happens

and up until just recently It was viewed as canon

everything had been signed off by George Lucas

Not anymore not anymore Disney came in and said

yeah, we're not gonna do that, you know, and

a lot of people were saying oh, they're just

gonna do What was in the books and you know you

read the books and you'll have an adaptation

It's kept like watching, you know reading the

Game of Thrones books and then watching the TV

show is like it's not exact but it's it's it's

a representation right and we kind of thought

it would be going that route but disney's like

yeah i don't think that you know we're gonna

keep things separate you're gonna have your movies

which are canon and your extended universe which

will always be the extended universe but it's

not canon yeah it's just not canon it's not it's

not the same thing it's not it's not a movie

yeah and it's sad but But I still see parallels

here in the casting choices. They say, you know,

we're going to have this type of character and

we're going to have this Jedi, this type of character.

And then, you know, there's a few hints as to,

you know, what's going to happen in Rebels in

their new TV series. And you can kind of see

a Jason and Jaina solo. Characters coming about

just in the way that they've done that they're

they're they're casting Mm -hmm, you know, you

know, they're gonna spend a lot of time on Tatooine

You know, so so you can you there you can you

can read into that what you will Yeah, I hope

not. I hope they spend a lot of time on Hoff

Hoth is cool, but there's really nothing there.

But you go to Tatooine and you've got all sorts

of aliens you can do. Have you seen some of the

pictures that are coming out of Abu Dhabi right

now? Yes. I mean, they've got the entire Millennium

Falcon already done up in set. They've got some

type of, you know, Mos Eisley type desert town.

set up. They've got new creature effects. They've

got a lot of miniatures. They've got a pod racing

hanger with pod racers in it. No, no, no, no,

no. That did not happen. That is not canon. I

don't care if it wasn't the first film or not.

It's not in continuity. That's right. Pod racing,

it was a huge part of the culture on Tatooine.

That was like their Indy 500. And just because

humans couldn't do it, didn't mean it wasn't

popular there. Yeah. And so, you know, when they

revisit Tatooine, of course there's going to

be a hanger with pod racing in it. But the cool

thing is that it's like, it's like, why is this

huge guy crawling through the hanger? You know,

at first you think maybe it's a trick of perspective,

but no, they've made these in miniature form.

And there's the guy who's the model builder kind

of crawling around through the hangar, you know,

fixing up the pot erasers. It's like, well, that's

really cool. But yeah, so I mean, it's not, it's

not, you're not visiting Toshi Station, you know,

you're probably not even visiting Mos Eisley.

You know, you're visiting whatever the really

big town that Anakin originally came from or

where, you know, where Qui -Gon Jinn and Anakin

landed in when they... when they visited Tatooine

the first time. So, you know they're going there

and you're thinking, wow, you know, how old is

Wado going to be when they revisit him? Because

you know he's going to make an appearance. Or,

you know, we do know the Jabba the Hutt had a

nephew called Stinky the Hutt. I can just imagine

there being a criminal presence there with Stinky

the Hutt in charge. Of course he won't be called

Stinky. Or maybe he will be. They'll probably

call him Django the Hutt I Forget what stinky's

real name was but but we do know that I don't

want to say Java either had a son or or a nephew

and it was like a little worm thing that Asako

Tana had to had to rescue in that in the one

movie But you know so we can see that character

making an appearance I definitely foresee Luke

and Leia being married I definitely foresee them

having twins. Not to each other, damn it. No,

to each other. No, come on now. No, I'm sorry.

Han and Leia being married to each other. Thank

you. There you go. And then them having, they

have babies, they have the solo twins. In the

books, they had three, and the third one was

named Anakin. So it'll be interesting. Yeah,

well, she finally came to grips with the fact

that her father was Anakin Skywalker, and she

named her third child Anakin. So if we end up

with... Anakin and Jaina Solo twins, I'd be cool

with that It's close enough to the source material

of the extended universe But but but still straying

from it, you know, but it makes sense. I mean

Jason and Jaina had their own series of books

They're all you know, young adult novels before

there were really young adult novels, you know

that way way back when But that's what it was.

They're written for kids. And so I kind of see

those two characters coming along You know, I

can't even imagine what type of bad guy we're

looking at though Yeah, because Vader's dead

the Emperor is dead Well, yeah, you got to think

at this point we're probably looking at maybe

15 to 20 years after Jedi after Jedi so the Emperor

maybe there's remnants of the Empire that are

still floating around maybe you've got an Admiral

like Admiral Thrawn, I would welcome a live -action

appearance of Admiral Thrawn. He was an excellent

character. Well, wait, didn't Tarkin survive?

Tarkin's still alive, isn't he? No. Tarkin blew

up with a Death Star. He blew up with the first

Death Star. Oh, that's right. He was on the bridge.

That's right, that's right. He's a captain and

went down with his ship. That's right. If you

get a chance to go back and read the Thrawn trilogy,

I would totally recommend it. It's three books

and they introduce Grand Admiral Thrawn. He's

the only alien Admiral in the Empire and because

You know the the Emperor met him and said wow

this guy is way too good not to put to use But

on the other hand the Empire doesn't like aliens,

so I can't leave him here So he sent him out

into the the outer regions And he went out to

the outer regions and just wreaked havoc in the

Empire's name and then after the Emperor died

he came home and found that, you know, the vampire

was in tatters and he basically said, you know,

I'm going to make this right. And yeah, he was

he was just an excellent character. And he it's

one of those where he totally could have done

it if it if it hadn't have been for the Extended

Universe Clause. Well, I want to say I want to

say he was. Yeah, I forget exactly what happened,

but he was murdered. There was a lot of cool

stuff going on. If Young Obi -Wan hadn't ripped

open Grievous' chest and basically shot him in

the breast, I could see... It was his heart.

I could see a General Grievous type. His General

Grievous was a robot. He was cyborg. He was robot

and human. I could see something like that. Maybe

as a remnant of the Empire, but I honestly when

it comes to villains for episode 7 and what they're

gonna do next I honestly have no idea. I just

know that I want them to be able to it's not

only my prediction but as my hope for it is that

they use Luke Leia and Han in a way that Makes

it worthwhile for us fans that grew up with them

seeing them as those characters They use the

actors in a decent. I mean, it's JJ Abrams. He

usually uses most of his actors in a good way

I don't just want him to Do do it. I just don't

just want them to be cameos like here's here's

Han and Leia They're off on a farm raising babies

and here's Luke he he found Padme's great great

great great great great great great great granddaughter

and they're off having bait I don't want it to

just be a one -off. I want them to be a central

part of the beginning of the story and then like

we get to the middle of the film they pass or

the you know the new characters kind of take

over the main arc maybe I mean you know you're

gonna start with the Jedi Academy yeah and and

in the Jedi Academy Luke will be there he's gonna

be the Yoda yeah he's gonna be the Yoda you know

and you may or may not have a council he's gonna

be the the king dog yeah, no Luke will be Luke

will be in charge of the the new Jedi Order and

He'll be training, you know a number of younglings

let's say and of those of the you know that the

higher graduates of the the younglings is gonna

be Jason and Jaina solo and then from there you're

gonna have Leia who will be If if not the Chancellor

then a high ranking official in whatever Alliance

government takes over from the Empire Yeah, so

when the Empire splinters and cracks and falls

apart They're gonna go back to democracy and

hopefully a better democracy than what the corrupted

Senate was from the first trilogy or the the

You know the second trilogy if you call it that

So we'll have some type of political intrigue,

hopefully not a whole lot. But whatever happens,

whatever intrigue, political intrigue they have,

we'll see Leia and Han saying, we have to take

matters into our own hands. Because of course,

Han being an old smuggler, he's going to be like,

my blaster can handle this. And they'll climb

into the Millennium Falcon and end up on Tatooine.

Steve, what are your thoughts on whatever, what

would you like to see for episode 7? The Dark

Empire. The Dark Empire, what what? It's where

Palpatine returns in Clone Bodies. Oh, right,

with the Dave Dorman covers. And Luke becomes

the new Vader, essentially. Yeah, and the whole

thing is done in watercolor. This is Disney people.

I don't think they don't think they're gonna

go a dark route in this you never know No, what

was cool though is that the Emperor comes back

as a clone and you know Hollywood loves clones

and they end that they create Emperor create

because you know create a slew of them But his

counsel to more or less sabotage and prevent

him from returning Poison them all Yeah, okay,

so that they damaged all of his good clones and

he had used up his last one because every time

he uses the force powers now it Damages the bodies

Well, you know the way they explained it I want

to say is that he He used so much dark force

energy that his body would just become decrepit

almost immediately and so he kept all these clones

on hand that he could just keep passing his consciousness

into So that he would you know he would just

wear them like disposable suits oh? So it's kind

of like having a bunch of proto forms around

and putting master yokatron into a new proto

form there you go essentially Until it backfired

on him yeah, but the cool thing about that series

though is that? He tries to kind of get his feet

wet in the dark side, thinking that he could

equally wield the dark side and the light side

and find a balance. But of course he can't. He

becomes dark. And then Leia, who's been taking

Jedi lessons under him for a while, she has to

step up and save Luke, even though her training

is incomplete. So she totally does the retread

of Return of the Jedi, where she has to go and

redeem her brother. Say there is good in you.

I know it and then finally they defeat the Emperor

together But yeah, but the clincher is she's

already pregnant with the solo twins And so it

so it's not just her force power that's helping

him be redeemed but her force power and her babies

Well, they don't actually defeat Palpatine because

he just goes into another clone body that they

didn't see and Goes after them after the fact

Because he's like, oh, she's growing a Jedi baby.

That would be perfect for my consciousness. And

so he attempts to steal them and then One of

Luke's trainees that was dying anyway jumped

in the way and took Palpatine's spirit more or

less into the Into the force so he could never

come back out and all the other past Jedi's took

him down So he's buried in the force forever.

Oh, I don't remember that Yeah, was that the

second series or the first series? I don't know.

I read up on his character. Oh, okay I was gonna

say cuz I want to say at the end of Dark Jedi

or the Dark Empire They they defeated him, but

maybe he came back But for me, I mean like I

said, maybe he came back in the second sir. I

know there was a dark empire, too But I don't

have it. I think that's where they actually defeated

him. Those two. Interesting. Alright, we're going

to take one final break and then we're going

to close it out with our thoughts on how Disney

is handling the brand. But first, a prediction

from Steve Megatron. We'll be back after this.

It all began quite a while ago, but I remember

it as clearly as if it were a flashback. There

will come a day where he eventually sells it

to Disney and then they Make a bunch of money.

I don't think he'll sell it. I think it's a trap.

So Steve you Had a prediction and it kind of

came true. Holy crap. I guessed right Lucas sold

to Disney. Yeah damn sellout. Yeah, but it made

sense. So he already had all this stuff at Disney

Yeah, for the most part. I mean, he really did.

So how do we feel that Disney is either doing

so far or going to be doing with the brand of

Star Wars, Steve? I kind of worry about it only

for the fact that Disney, I mean granted they've

done well with the Marvel stuff and they have

kind of done edgy in it and it worked. So I mean

on that that ground I could see it working plus

Lucas's people are still in place despite being

owned by Disney Yeah, so the vision isn't really

gone, but he has like zero say at this point

This I mean he's he's more of a consultant at

this point So I feel a little bit safer knowing

that you can't fuck it up Compared to the compared

to the prequels So, plus you have the badassery

of having the original cast involved with this

new trilogy to some degree, whether some of them

get killed off along the way or some of them

survive or whatever, it remains to be seen. I

kind of am excited to see what the plot will

be and what... progression will have taken place

over the last 30 years in the story and you know

from from the Return of the Jedi so I mean, it's

it should be interesting. I just hope that they

don't I Hope that Abrams doesn't Lens flare the

crap out of it Like he's he's good. He's a good

director. The problem is is he loves his lens

flares and if used correctly You can only you

don't have to have like ten of them in place.

You can actually have just you know one Because

the Star Trek films were riddled with it and

it was kind of annoying and and Star Wars is

even less so because in need of it because It's

supposed to be dark and gritty Because it's all

Practical effects not special effects. So I'm

hoping that he kind of keeps with the the vibe

that was going with the original trilogy Mm -hmm

and not kind of modernize it too much Right I

think the brand is going well Of course, we're

you know coming up on the first new film since

2006 It's been a while. I think that's when Empire,

wow, when Revenge came out. I know Michael thinks

that a certain game franchise has now jumped

the shark since it's now going to Transformers,

but I loved it when Angry Birds went Star Wars.

I thought that was so hilarious to have those

characters, you know. Those those core of birds

add Star Wars powers to them is so amazing anyway

These are at the bridge are looking for stop

it I'm I'm not so much into like I'm optimistic

about the Clone Wars Know everyone keeps telling

me. Oh, it's it's so great. It's so great It's

you know blah blah blah, and I just I just haven't

had the time to really get into it I know I didn't

like Tartakovsky's Clone Wars digital series

thing that he did Droid's was alright back in

the day he walks is still bad I Have yet to really

delve into a lot of the Star Wars comics from

Dark Horse as I said earlier in the episode I

did review Django and Boba Fett and Boba Fett

is dead and I have kind of gained a new appreciation

outside of the films for those two characters

but in the film universe they still both suck

I'm really interested to see what I believe it's

is it July 29th I forget it was I saw an ad for

it the other night I'm really interested to see

how Phineas and Ferb are neighbors to Luke Because

Phineas and Ferb Star Wars is coming out this

summer. So I'm really interested to see that

I think Disney's doing okay so far I mean they've

they've kept you know, the the toy licenses where

they're supposed to be and I do know that the

Dark Horse ongoing and the Dark Horse license

is going to end sometime soon because Marvel

is gonna be taking 2015 it's supposed to end

they're basically allowed to finish out their

current storylines, but they're not to start

a new thing new Because Marvel is going to be

publishing in them once more which I also predicted

Bring it all in house once once once they bought

Marvel. Yeah before they bought Lucas I even

said that ice's watch ice's and then when they

get Star Wars they're gonna buy They're gonna

they're gonna cancel Dark Horse and they're gonna

go right back to Marvel like they did in the

80s. Yeah That's one of the reasons why I hope

Disney never ever ever ever buys Hasbro because

The Transformers will go back to Marvel and I

love it at IDW right now. Anyway, whole other

topic I think you know Disney, you know with

with Disney and Star Wars I think they're doing

a lot of really really cool stuff I don't think

Disney has Really screwed the pooch on anything

yet. Of course, you know films will have to wait

and see Who do you guys think they're? Is JJ

directing all three of the trilogies or just

the first is he just just the first for the moment?

Okay So I I thought he was contracted for all

three But the other spinoff movies the Yoda movie

the Boba Fett movie the Han Solo movie are have

they're having different directors for those

I'm not sure I was just specifically meaning

episode seven eight nine. I don't know if he's

actually uh I want to say I read somewhere that

he was contracted for all three hmm he might

be you can probably find out with a quick Google

search so I mean overall I mean there has there

been anything that has offended you guys as far

as the the direction Disney has gone Wouldn't

say offended. I mean basically they've got one

thing they can do to recoup the four billion

dollars They paid for this franchise. Mm -hmm.

It's called make a big -ass movie make a big

-ass movie. Yeah, I mean They've got three movies

are out the gate seven eight nine They've got

at least three more movies that they said that

they tend to make and again It's I'm pretty sure

Boba Fett is what 2016 so they're gonna like

release it Release the standalone movies every

year in between the the regular trilogy Or the

third trilogy movies. So you've got a Yoda movie.

I'm pretty sure you've got a Han Solo movie.

I Want to say that was gonna be third it may

or may not tie into the Boba Fett movie Do you

think the solo movie will be the twins and not

hey, I mean how? They're planning on doing Young

Solo. They're doing Young Solo. From what I've

read, they're doing Young Solo. So they're pulling

a dumb and dumber. They might actually try to

pull off a movie where Han Solo meets Chewbacca.

Chewie. Yeah. Or you could do one whole movie

with this, have him meet Chewie and Lando in

the same movie. That would be awesome, actually.

Really cool. I would pay to see that. Maybe there's

like a young Admiral Tarkin or something that

they run afoul of. That would be too cool. I

know what your fate's going to be. Boom! From

what I understand, they're talking about like

a heist movie. Like oh no, no, they're talking

like oceans 11 in space. Oh, okay Yeah, we're

hands solo and and let's say Billy Dee Williams

Orlando Cali recent have to break into a maximum

security prison to rescue chewy or something,

you know, like in a maximum security Empire yeah

camp or something where they have to go in and

rescue a bunch of Bunch of Wookiees for some

reason and one of them pledges a life debt to

it, you know first I get there when you said

a heist movie the first thing I thought it was

like Oh, no optimus solo won't be watching that

if it's a heist movie based around fast and the

furious I could just see it now fast and the

furious pot racing style All right Do we have

anything else we want to say about Star Wars

Steve? Did you have anything else you want to

bring up? Not really. I mean, I think we kind

of covered I want to know where the video games

are. Lucas cancelled them. Well, no, you can't

say that because LucasArts had all these... I

want to say that LucasArts had several games

in the hopper, a couple that were almost done,

and then when Lucas sold the rights over to Disney,

Disney then stepped in and said, We don't really

have a video game division, you know, so you

guys You don't have to shut all this stuff down

and you know, everybody went home They closed

the doors. Everybody went home and all these

games that were almost finished You know what

fell by the wayside so there's there was was

a star wars was it 1313? Or no level 13 or I

think it was level 13 and it was it was it started

off as a game about bounty hunters or yeah, Bounty

Hunters on Coruscant, which is like, I think

it was level 1313, which was like a thousand

levels down below the top level is where the

worst scum on Coruscant live and deal. And the

idea was you were gonna be a... like a merchant

or something they had to deal with bounty hunters

or something and then somewhere along the way

that changed into like a first -person shooter

where you were Boba Fett and then that changed

and I guess what would happen is is every couple

of months George Lucas would say wouldn't it

be cool if we did this and then he walked into

LucasArts and told them what he wanted and everything

changed and everybody had to scramble to change

the game and and because because they couldn't

agree on a scope You know, it just went on like

that for a year or two and then eventually died.

But, you know, they were saying, well, maybe

it'll get sold to EA or, you know, maybe they'll

do something or maybe who's going to get the

distribution rights? Who's going to finish this?

Because LucasArts is down. But now they're saying

that Battlefront, Star Wars Battlefront just

got a new trailer at E3. So they're saying that's

coming back. And someone had said there's a rumor

that 1313 might be being shopped around. Someone's

gonna have to distribute that or finish it and

distribute it. I mean, there's a lot of cool

concepts out there that I don't think got out

the door. They're interesting and I love video

games. I would totally buy the hell out of these.

You know, I mean someone's got someone that somewhere

is sitting on them. Mm -hmm and He's farting

all over them No disintegrations, you know, it's

integration stall scream This is bad son of me

Yeah, so yeah, that was my main complaint is

you know, where's where the video games? I don't

I don't want to see you know social iPhone crap,

you know Lego Was that the Lego Clone Wars game?

They tried to put on the iPhone. That was just

awful. You know, I want to see Big budget games.

I want to see the Call of Duty of Star Wars All

right, well that's gonna do it for us Here on

GCR episode 66 next time around we are starting

the syndication spotlight where each episode

from I think episodes 67 to 72 We will be highlighting

our syndicated partners What's on Joe mine star

Joe's mark 42 is who inverse? turtle flakes hunk

of cast podcast Punisher body count am I forgetting

anybody Steve? I don't know Alright Unleash the

geek in you and we will catch you next time the

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