Hitman Review

You're listening to the geek cast radio network

of podcast Hello and welcome to another episode

of the cinema geeks I am one of your cinema geeks

optimus solo and joining me today is hard candy

Mandy Hey movie revolve Dan Hey And for the cent

hey We are here and we are jumping back into

one of our ongoing Movie series and that is the

video game film series everybody can applaud

and get excited about that We are today talking

about the 2007 French American British action

thriller entitled hitman directed by Xavier gens

or gens written by Skip Woods based on the Hitman

video game starring Timothy Oliphant and a few

other people that I've never heard of. This came

out November 21st 2007 and like we normally do

in the video game film series of podcasts we

will start by talking about everybody's exposure

to the Hitman video games. Amanda, did you ever

play the Hitman games? No. Any knowledge of what

they were like? I saw a clip of some kids playing

the game in the movie. Excellent. Dan, how about

you? I did. I did play Hitman growing up. I didn't

play every one. I think there's a couple of ones,

and I think a new version just came out for...

Xbox one or at least whatever current generation

we're on right now, but Yeah, I I didn't I didn't

enjoy them. It was I feel like it was around

the time when I was getting getting into that

type of game Like there was like that and like

Splinter Cell and it was it was a big push at

least my memory serves me for like stealth based

games or like but hitman also had the component

where you could like also just go crazy like

I always kind of confused hitman and like max

pain the gameplay in my mind sometimes the but

yeah yeah they weren't my favorite games but

I think they're always like I enjoy just how

you can kind of Both be like either stealthy

or kind of just go crazy It's funny that you

mentioned Max Payne because our version of how

we watched it man is on a DVD three -pack that

includes Max Payne. So What is the third movie?

That's Babylon AD Man, that is a three -pack

I thought it was a solid purchase my friends.

I thought it was pretty good uh... met what about

you any exposure to the head and video games

uh... yeah a lot uh... the thing i i played most

of them uh... but the one i played the most is

a man to sound assassin i've played through that

entire game more than once and uh... i would

say almost masterful at it definitely especially

on the first level I had it down where I could

get the silent assassin rating which if you did

it got you um his main weapon or like his signature

weapon is the ballers these two pistols that

are so strong they can pin a guy to the wall

as long as you keep shooting um if you beat the

first level at the the best stealth level you

get those with silencers on them it's pretty

cool Excellent excellent. So obviously Dan and

Matt you guys are the ones with the video game

knowledge as far as this Particular topic goes.

So how well do you feel the movie? Captured the

feel of the video game Yeah, like I don't I don't

remember the story at all but like the the stealth

eminent it did not feel it felt like more like

an intimidate and an intimidation but Copy of

like the point like very influenced by the porn

films more so than the hitman video games Matt

you agree. Yeah, like it seemed almost like a

just a less good version of The transporter where

it should have been closer to like Mission Impossible

1 or something Yeah, interesting So not a very

decent replication of the game according to you

guys. I have not played the games just like Amanda,

so I couldn't speak on that. So let's get right

down to the nitty -gritty then. Let's get into

the discussion of the movie as a movie, the film

itself. Now remember, we are coming off of the

heels of watching Postal. I don't know if that

is influencing anybody's entertainment value

from watching Hitman or not. We'll have to wait

and see. So how did it work as a film for you

overall, Matt? I mean, it wasn't as bad as the

last one that we watched, or any oofable movies.

Like, it does some things. It does things that

I like as a concept, but I wouldn't say that

it was engaging. Interesting. Not engaging for

Matt. I believe you were also saying off air

that it was maybe memorable? You're not memorable.

I remember I remember certain things about it

But like like like just and they're all things

that are either like I like that or I didn't

like that for the most part I couldn't tell you

like who the enemies were now that I'm at the

end Yeah, and we in this for the record we were

going to record this episode I think like a week

maybe two weeks ago. I don't know about you guys,

but I I watched it, you know way back then I

didn't Rewatch it or anything like that. So I

agree with you guys like I watched this whatever

it was, two weeks ago, three weeks ago, and I

was trying to remember a single detail about

the movie today as we were getting ready to record.

I'm looking through my notes and trying to play

things. I actually had to go back and read an

entire plot synopsis of the film to remind me

of the film that I watched less than three weeks

ago. I think the biggest thing for me is it's

just not memorable. There's nothing about this

film that stands out. Is it a better made film

than the UA Bowl films that we've been watching?

I guess, but I don't know if there's anything

that would relatively make this film towards

the top echelon of the video game films we've

seen. I think Amanda's disagreeing with me though,

so let me jump right to her first. I don't know

what you guys are hating on this so bad for.

I've liked it. I've seen this several times.

I think it's pretty memorable in my eyes anyways,

because I enjoyed it. I think there's some pretty

badass stuff that he does, and I don't think

that there's a lot of spice to this as far as

trying to figure out the whodunit or who's the

bad guy or whatever. Everybody's a bad guy. Everybody's

against him. So it's kind of this play between

fun gadgetry and fighting and just staying alive.

Connecting with somebody for the first time probably

ever so I really enjoyed it Dan Maybe you can

elaborate better than myself or Matt or since

we were trying to remember the movie just in

general What about it for you either made it

good or bad? I think I'm some place in between

Amanda and you guys like I I thought it was like

perfectly adequate like it like perfectly might

be a strong word, but I don't know if it's just

coming off a postal, but it was nice just having

a movie that had normal issues and some problems.

But honestly, looking at the movies we've gone

through, it probably would rank of all the video

game films, mind you, that we've talked about

near the top for me. I guess maybe I was just

in the mood for a mindless action film, which

this is. And I thought some of the action sequences

were... Sometimes I didn't really understand

the point of them, but at least were executed

well enough. For example, there is this kind

of crazy, which I still fight between all the

different hitmen, which I'm still not really

understanding why they were all kind of going

after one another in how the plot kind of figured

it out. But I thought that was kind of fun, this

close quarters sword fight for some reason. And

also, I'm a huge Timothy Alton fan, because I

love Justified. This isn't necessarily a character

that fits really what he does well. Like, his

best tough guy is more the nonchalant laid back,

not necessarily kind of the ruthless. I like

some of the ruthless aggression. I didn't get

as much, but I still like them enough. And the

plot between him and the typical female character

that you get is down in here was... Disappointing

but overall when it came just to general, you

know action scenes. I thought it was paced well

enough and You know like it at least I think

was competently made like there weren't like

glaring problems or anything Like I was never

shaking my head in disbelief or thinking. Well,

this is really awful like I would think like

Like I would rain I felt like I enjoyed this

much more than the Tim Raider movies I thought

yeah, it was overall more enjoyable. I might

my bigger issues is just like I felt like Plot

became overly complicated and like the it wasn't

like it seems like for the hit me like they went

a long way to do very little the the the villains

in this like it seemed to really like why they

needed to turn on him in order to like the assassinate

this guy, but they also wanted to not Like I

don't know like not to give anything away, but

it just it seemed like it wasn't the best way

to draw things out, but you know as like one

of those general action films you see in the

middle of Saturday afternoon on basic cable,

you know? You could do worse. Matt, are they

painting us in the wrong corner? Because I don't

know if I was necessarily hating on the film.

I was just saying that I didn't find it necessarily

memorable. There was nothing that was gonna stick

with me about the film as far as like... Years

and years from now. I'm not gonna remember anything

about like what happened in the film Are you

gonna remember anything from these video game

movies? I'm gonna remember how bad some of them

are. Yes, but but I'm saying I'm not I guess

not memorable is an improvement. So I'm just

saying that I don't think there's anything that's

gonna be like sticking with me long term But

I'm not saying there's a bad movie I think it's

I think it's made competently which puts it like

light years ahead of half the films that we've

already talked about So I don't I didn't necessarily

hate the film Don't think like to me thing often

being bald I think it's always gonna stick with

me because I still weird to me, but that's Matt

I'll give you a chance to react. I'm right there

with you. Like I feel like this movie it was

it was bland but it wasn't bad like it's it's

in a weird spot where it's almost too good to

watch with a bunch of people to make fun of although

that moment where they're like hey we've all

got guns but what if swords instead like like

that one like that scene like people would have

been jumping on couches and stuff but other than

that like it's just like i don't know it's kind

of okay it's an okay movie It's not as bad as

most of the stuff we've watched, but it's not

good enough that I'm glad I never saw it in theaters.

I did like the line about the anus of the third

world. I thought that was a clever line that

they threw in there. I got a question about how

doubles work because I understand that you can

have doubles that look like another person. How

do they pull off the voice part? And I had like

very limited notes for this but my first note

that I wrote down was Why isn't this movie starring

Keanu Reeves? Because I just feel like this is

the exact type of film that he has become known

for like I feel like this is right up his alley

like you could have easily played this part,

but Then we wouldn't have got bald Would be interested

in watching because there's not a sequel like

the remake or what -have -you Which I have not

watched that came out like last year two years

ago I'd be curious to see like how how much that

differs compared to this. I like the ridge this

one better I think then agent 47 I think agent

47 had bigger production value and like, you

know bigger effects But I'm just I really liked

Timmy Fee or LeFant as the hitman here, so I'm

not sure. Who played him in the sequel? Nobody

I've ever seen before. It's a guy from Homeland.

I can't think of his name. I could find out though.

Interesting. Just for those that are curious

as far as how the film fared back in 2007, the

budget for hitting the original hitman here was

$24 million and its worldwide box office was

$100 million. So, it did well at the box office,

did not do well when it came to critical reception,

currently holding a 14 % on Rotten Tomatoes and

most major places were not too nice about it.

Roger Ebert, I guess he was kind of a little

bit ... more positive he gave it three stars

out of four and his quote was hitman stands right

on the threshold between video games and art

on the wrong side of the threshold but still

give it credit that was his quote about the film

so i don't know i think it's uh so it's a little

bit of box office success not so much critical

response uh success but uh like i said i think

it's Definitely better than at least half of

the films we've watched if not more Dan, you

know You're saying it might be in the top threshold

of the films we've covered. I haven't gone through

necessarily and Ranked them recently. I had them

early on list, but I need to go back to us I'm

not sure where it's exactly gonna fall But I

think it's in line with some of the other ones

that we have they have watched for sure I know

you mentioned like Tomb Raider and there's probably

a couple other ones in that realm that are kind

of similar vein but it might be up to the personal

preference as far as which one you like better

or worse. Amanda, obviously, you're probably

maybe the highest slightly on this one compared

to the rest of us. So what other things do you

did you really like or what kind of puts you

over the edge for Hitman? Oh, man, I think that

that's kind of what puts it over the edge as

far as me liking it. Yeah, like I mean, because

you seem like you're higher on it than maybe

some of the other video game films we've covered.

So what makes you a fan of this? particular video

game adaptation. I'll get a note here. Swords,

guns, bombs and tech. All right. That's why I

like this movie. He's even he's not about ladies.

He's about that murder life. And I dug it. I

mean, he does have a major sidekick that is a

lady. I mean, the sidekick or tag along. Either,

I guess, semantics. I mean, I. I would have liked

more about like a mission instead of maybe her

saving her as the mission. But, you know, I kind

of get what they were doing, making it about

how he's so detached from everything based on

like his upbringing and his training and his

raising in the field that he's in. So I thought

it was kind of. I don't want to call it like

a juxtaposition and I thought that that was a

nice touch for them to kind of throw that in

there even though it was distracting could have

done without it Do you would you be up for more

hitman films? Yeah, I mean, I saw the Agent 47

and I wasn't blown away by it, but I dug it.

I liked the genre and I liked the action, so

it was cool. I like hand -to -hand combat. We

saw some really awesomely choreographed fights

in this. I don't think it ever really took itself

too seriously either, which is nice. Dan, what

do you think of that Roger Ebert quote? Do you

think that's a fair assessment that it's right

on the threshold between video games and art

on the wrong side of the threshold, but still

give it credit? Yeah, I do think the director

did try to put some flair and some, you know,

artistic attempts at, you know, shot composition

into the movie outside of just like, you know,

to try to make it... into something more than,

was it really competent in doing that? I'm not

really certain. And to clarify, the person who

played Agent 47 was Rupert Fein, a friend of

Fein, who's the new one. But I think ultimately,

what weighs this movie down is kind of just a

really generic script that just becomes really

... Plotted especially when you have like the

B story of the Interpol in the back and forth

with Kind of like the Russian agents and how

that takes up such a huge chunk of the film I

really think a lot of that. I mean, you know

comes to play in the end, but It did as Matt

mentioned it did very much remind me of kind

of the similar plot and you seem like transporter

one and two it just I think that was where we're

kind of locked like pretty much any of the side

characters seemed very stereotypical and really

served nothing besides moving the plot forward.

So while there may have been stylistically more

to it than some of the other films, I think it

still needs a better script for it to actually

be considered a complete film. Matt just one

question for you I mean we talked about in the

introduction Dan was mentioning as far as like

when the video games are concerned that Maybe

the hitman video game series is not necessarily

that Iconic or or you know it kind of is in a

big Forest of all games that are similar to that

kind of at that time period where we had a lot

of those stylistic games So is the video game

somewhat? I guess paralleling the movie where

it's kind of the same thing where it's like in

a group of video game films where it just kind

of is there and it doesn't necessarily You know

break down any boundaries and give us like a

fantastic, you know Jaw -dropping event, but

it's there and it's it's serviceable. Just like

the game series was or what do you think? All

right Let me try to get through all that like

I I think that Hitman like Like, it became really

popular to do these stealth and stealth -like

games right then, right? Like, you had your Hitman,

your Splinter Cell, your Thief, JSX. There were

plenty of games that came out. But... Like, they

all had something unique about them, right? Like,

most of them were set in modern day, but Thief

was in medieval times. Like, Deus Ex was set

in the near future where there were cybernetics,

and so you could get almost superpowers. And

Hitman, like... the the way that you could play

that game where you could either just rush the

door and I've got stronger guns and I've got

dodge and I'm gonna win or like literally the

way like you could play just the first level

right they gave the first level out on a demo

disc before the game ever came out and I played

it probably a hundred times and like one time

like you garrote wire a flower delivery guy you

grab all of his clothes you grab the flowers

you come in you try to deliver flowers to the

front door to this mavio mafioso but you can

hide your gun in the flowers. Or like a guard

goes behind a building to take a leak, you hit

him up with some chloroform, you steal his suit,

now you're a guard, you can wander the grounds.

There are so many different options in this game

that the other games, like in Town Clancy's Splinter

Cell, literally it's like you round corners,

you stay into the shadows. and you've got your

weapons on you. I don't think you ever, you don't

ever change guns, you don't ever change clothes.

So though this genre was huge at that time, each

one set itself apart. So I don't think it's an

apt comparison, because this thing did not set

itself apart from the rest of the video game

movies, other than it had a really weird sword

scene. I think maybe to me like a 14 % or whatever

I said it was on Rotten Tomatoes I feel like

that's a lot of reviews that were probably like

just at the borderline like I feel like a lot

of people probably were giving it like Just not

quite enough of a score to make that a positive

score But I think it's a bunch of different than

like a 14 % where everybody gave the film like

a one or two out of ten or something like that

You know what I mean? I feel like it's a bunch

of people that were giving it like Four and a

half or five, you know what I mean? Like they

just weren't quite scoring it high enough for

it to score well on Rotten Tomato System, but

I could be completely wrong. So let's do some

scoring ourselves then and find out where all

of us are. So final thoughts and grade for Hitman,

starting with the Harder Candy Mandy. I mean,

this dude was, I don't know, he was a badass.

I liked what he did. I was entertained by the

movie. I'd watch it again. I Have watched it

several times. I'm gonna continue to want to

watch it It's like what Dan said a good mindless

action movie to just chill to So man, I enjoyed

it especially in comparison to a lot of these

other video game films I'm gonna be super high

on this and but as far as like film rating goes

I think maybe like a seven seven. All right,

Dan, what about you? Yeah, and the clarify what

I meant when we were talking about the games

it wasn't it wasn't necessarily I think the games

themselves it was more so just in my head where

I Would kind of combine a lot of those. Okay,

let a lot of those games because it's been such

a long time since I played them But yeah, we

get like it just kind of the beauty dead horse

As I mentioned like I think there are bits in

here that like I think a lot of the other comic

movies we talked about failed because It was

either cash grab and they were trying to catch

whether the iron is hot or you had a really huge

miscommunication between what the source material

was and what the director was trying to do with

something like Mario or you just had the QA poll

who was just clearly not even trying. I think

there is an attempt here. Perhaps it's not the

vision of the game specifically, but I do think

there was an attempt to try to at least stay

in the same framework, even if they kind of went

off on their own path. Usually when people talk

about video games, they say they're all awful.

I think this is by no means awful. It's watchable,

but it's not necessarily one that I would ever

want to watch again. I do have interest in seeing

the sequel, so that does say something to me.

And the whole funny story with this Sorry, I'm

go for it speaking, but I was actually to be

fair I was watching this while running on the

treadmill and I just thought it'd be like an

action film I was not expecting there to be a

sex scene with nudity at all in this movie And

I just was like trying I felt I'm like I need

to hide my phone because people are gonna like

think I'm some weirdo watching Unnecessary stuff

on the treadmill. So I was like that like that

That was, I thought they were going to cut away.

And they didn't. Interesting scene. So what's

your score? Score wise, I think in the realm

of video game movies, as we're grading on a curve

for that, I would say seven. As a general film,

I'd probably go five or six. But in the realm

of video game reviewing, comparing it to this

genre, if you want to call it that, I'll say

seven. Alright Matt, they're both in the seven

range. Where do you go with this one and any

other thoughts that you didn't get out? Oh man,

um So I'm gonna keep harping on that sword fight

scene it makes no sense like And what's extra

confusing is he being chased by a dude in a suit

and then like he gets pulled like a guy pulls

a gun on him as a dude in the suit is like Is

that the same dude and then they're like what

if we settle this with swords for no reason and

they're like, okay It's about honor and like

ass kickery and they're like, yeah, we could

shoot each other but let's like fight like real

men and Whip out these swords and punch each

other and slice each other up Or it became Highlander,

and we just didn't care. There could be only

one Hitman! Here's the thing, like... If everyone

in this organization is trained to fight with

swords and that's how they fight each other,

like, it's guns for the normies because the normies

aren't deserving of our honor and time, and swords

for our brothers, like, I don't know, maybe set

that up somewhere in the first third of the movie

so that there's a logic and sense to it. Like,

it doesn't... I mean, it's a silly scene. They

were coming after him because he... Went against

their organization and he like veered from their

orders or whatever. And so they were all sent

to eliminate this potential like exposure to

their organization and but they were all you

know, they they have this obviously they have

some kind of honor amongst them that You know,

they're they're gonna take the time to kill each

other a different way I thought they were hunting

him because someone just took a hit out on him,

and by someone I mean that dictator. Which again,

the whole motive behind that where it's like,

why don't we just assassinate the dictator and

then we cut away to a different story because

that dictator can then just be like, oh no, it

was a double and then that guy's taken over the

government and then it doesn't really matter

and this organization doesn't really care. So

I don't know why people are getting involved.

But anyway, anyway, we're trying to figure out

the plot of it, man. Too hard. It's just like,

I mean, someone should have wrote it rather than

whatever happened. But like, I do, I do feel

like there are major chunks of this movie that

have been removed. Like that, that whole sequence

you're talking about. I feel like there is like

a C plot there that we are not aware of that

fills in a lot of those blanks. It does feel

like that. And that's that's very possible and

that's you know a problem with Hollywood Sometimes

as you shoot a three -hour movie, and then you

got to cut it down Like there are things that

I'd like I like I like the I like the interaction

between hitman and the the lady I think I don't

know the idea of like The aggressive female isn't

used enough in Hollywood. They're always like...

She starts off as a damsel and then she starts

to try to take over her own world and make her

own choices. I like that. I think that was well

done. But I don't get why he seems to act like

he's never... He can't even talk to a human.

like when he should be able to like like if you're

an assassin you should be able to sneak in like

maybe you know get into a dinner party and and

and play it off but like i don't think he's capable

of doing that i don't know like i like i just

don't quite know what they were doing like it's

definitely like a six like if we're grading at

a curve it's a lot better than most things we've

seen like but it's also i don't know i wish it

were a little bit better or a little bit worse

you know it was a 10 was all his suits and stuff

like even some of like the subtle like he always

had a red tie but they were like subtle like

elegant differences to his ties and he walked

in barefoot in no jacket or anything and then

walked out in like a tailored suit and a dress

coat and it was amazing i'm not giving it extra

points because the guy buys a suit in the middle

of the movie but it was a cool fucking suit he's

always got a bomb ass suit on and you know you

know what though uh Reservoir dogs has like nine

suits in it. Yeah, but they're all the same lame

-ass suit like it's not even like Like I think

like 12 year old boys probably wear that suit

to their grandpa's funeral like that's how it

is So you're giving bonus points for the GQness.

Yeah For the record skip woods the writer for

this film other credits belonging to him hitman

x -men origins Wolverine The a team a good day

to die hard and sabotage So that is his filmography

a good day is that is that number four with the

that's the one from 2013 No, that's the that's

when they go to Russia. He's got a thing for

Russia. I guess He did do some a little bit of

additional dialogue for live free or die hard

as well But not the sole screenwriter on that

one. So Don't know and if you see the picture

of him it is everybody go ahead and Google skip

woods. That's not what I thought John skipper

woods John skipper woods does not look like the

the brightest candle in the birthday cake. He

looks like he's trying to be slick, but he can't.

Anyways, not that what you look like has anything

to do with your ability to write, but it's just

a funny picture that they have on the Wikipedia

page for him. For me, like I said, I don't know.

I wish this had just a little bit more of something

to make it a little bit more memorable for me,

but I think like we said and like we kind of

beat over and over again, it's way better than

most of the stuff we've seen. I think you're

being too critical on a video game film. I said

it's better than most of the stuff we've seen.

It's still just kind of there. It's there. It's

like not bad. It's not good for me. So I'm gonna

give it like a six. Are you expecting it to be

like a Jason Bourne film? It's based on a fucking

video game. One day we will get a good video

game film. You could base something on something

and it'd be good like just because it's based

on a video game doesn't mean you need to not

try a lot according to all these other fucking

movies Yes, I mean I'm writing that six range

five six, but I'll give it a six so like I said

above average for me in this realm of things

that we're talking about. So that does it for

Hitman, our next up in the video game series

that we were going to cover. And what's after

this one? Anybody have the video game films memorized

yet? Is it Mad Max or Max Payne? I think it's

Max Payne. I could be wrong. That would make

sense since we're talking about how much it's

like that as far as its combo pack DVD. We won't

even have to get a new DVD out. It's already

in the player. So Max Payne might be the next

one. We'll have to verify that. So if you're

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Also, obviously we have other things going on.

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we are also in the midst of starting a new director

retrospective on Kevin Smith So if you're a Kevin

Smith fan or if you need an excuse to watch all

of Kevin Smith's films again Or maybe for the

first time obviously stay tuned and look for

those episodes as they'll be hitting the site

very soon You can also interact with us through

Twitter. The show handle is at CinemaGeekCast.

Our individual Twitters, which you can reach

out to us as well with. Amanda, what's your Twitter?

At HardCandyMandy. Eyes, no eyes. Dan, what's

your Twitter? And move your vote. Matt? I am

at FridleySent. And mine is at optimist solo.

Also, if you are a fan of letterbox, the website

where you can log all of your movies and make

lists and stuff like that. I know, Dan, you and

myself have done a couple of lists based on some

of the things we've done before. So if you want

to see our own personal. Rankings of different

things. I know you've done like a Marvel ranking

I recently put out the Hayao Miyazaki ranking

that we did and there's a bunch of other rankings

that you can check out there too If you're interested

in kind of seeing some more of our movie taste

you can do that Otherwise, that is it for this

week tune in next time for another chance to

listen to the Cinemagif