DJ Valentine’s Has Issue With Batman Killing

Hi, this is Kevin Conroy, and you're listening

to the Geekcast Radio Network. If you've got

an issue, here's its issue. DJ Valentine doesn't

have a wife or a girlfriend, but he clearly has

issues. That guy has definitely got some issues

to work out. DJ Valentine? Man, that guy has

issues. Clearly has a number of issues. Clearly

has issues. hey kids I'm certainly DJ Valentine

and I certainly have issues today we're gonna

get a little dark because we're going to discuss

the Dark Knight the world's greatest detective

the caped crusader the Batman I recently got

into a seemingly annual argument as to why Batman

shouldn't kill Yes, it was a Snyder Cut fan.

No, they did not like anything having to do with

the MCU. Yes, they did have a tribal tattoo.

No, they didn't appear to know where Ezra Miller

was. Yes, they referred to me as bro at least

16 times. I'm kidding. It was 12 times. Tops.

Because I keep on being yanked into this debate,

I would like to use this episode as a refer to

this -esque response the next time I'm questioned

on the subject. Because DJ Valentine does have,

and will always have, an issue with Batman killing.

Those who don't, probably poo poo Batman's code.

are seduced by the ease of having him just kill

people, kill crooks, kill enemies, kill the Joker,

give the Clown Prince of Crime what he wants.

The only sensible way to live in this world is

without rules. And tonight you're gonna break

your one rule. Which sounds badass and even reasonable

for those who don't totally understand Batman.

The threat that poses or the man Bruce could

turn into. Let's first talk about the threat

the actual threat of an unchecked Untethered

murderous Batman unleashed upon the world hell

bent on eradicating crime I do the one thing

that you can't you hit him and they get back

up I hit him and they stay down now the old adage

is that if Batman killed he'd be no better than

the crooks He put away which is true. He won't

be any better, but best believe if Batman killed

He'd be a lot worse Understand your animal, people.

This is Batman. Run, Batman. I just said that.

Anyway. First, with this new lethal edict, Batman

could systematically, efficiently, and brutally

murder every criminal in Gotham, supervillains,

serial killers, henchmen, goons, corrupt politicians,

corrupt cops, corrupt businessmen, bank robbers,

car thieves, pickpockets, jaywalkers. Now, I

know you're probably going to say, DJ, that's

a bit hyperbolic. And I'd probably say, well,

Fred, Batman is a genius and a planner and a

preparer, and you have just added onto him a

green light for bloodlust to accomplish his goals.

And you'd probably say, how the hell did you

know my name was Fred? And I'd probably say,

the point is, Fred, Bats thinks 10 steps ahead.

He's a walking, talking minority report. What

are those? Supersonic disturbances. This particular

satellite picks up objects moving faster than

sound. Usually they indicate jet craft, but in

Metropolis, almost all of them come from Superman.

Here's his pattern for the last 48 hours. What's

that place? A daily planet. Batman may begin

to think a crime, no matter how inconsequential

it may seem, could lead to the death of innocent

people. Someone steals a car, goes on a joyride,

swerves, hops a curb, takes out a family of three.

That person, that car thief is now marked for

death by Batman. Someone jaywalks on a highway

to graffiti their gang sign on an overpass, causing

a van with a family afford a crash. That jaywalking

vandal is marked for death by Batman. Hell, the

catalyst in turning Bruce Wayne into Batman was

a routine mugging by a couple of two big crooks

who have now qualified everyone in their field

for a Batman bacchanal beat down to the death.

There's a strong chance Batman then moves on

to people aiding and abetting criminals, and

then on to those enabling them, and then on to

those from the past who have received justice

from the law, but not the appropriate amount

to satisfy him. And after he's done with Gotham,

he'd move on to Bloodhaven, then Central City,

then Metropolis, then across the globe. Remember,

Batman has a precedent in the comics for setting

up an entity run by him called Batman Incorporated.

It's intention was to have a Batman level presence

worldwide. Those confederates of Batman in the

company, now with his newly altered training

and directives, also now have a carte blanche

to kill. He's friggin' Batman. And now he's homicidal

Batman and no one, absolutely no one, not Superman,

not the Flash, not one woman could stop him.

Because by the way, Batman has protocols in place

to immobilize and or kill the entire Justice

League. With this new edict, I guess it's not

and or now, it's just and kill the Justice League.

That's why I developed plans for containing any

or all members of the JLA, should the need ever

arise. None of us would ever do that to you.

Now that you understand the potential threat,

let's talk further on the man. Imagine, just

imagine someone with the will and resources of

Bruce Wayne, with no rules, no code, no morals,

a man with a vendetta of vengeance dedicated

now to killing and intangible concepts such as

crime. It would be... It would be like the devil

walking among us. And I say the devil and not

the Grim Reaper because Batman is not only gonna

kill ya, he's gonna take his time. Make you pay.

Quick quiz. Who would you rather your torturer

be? Batman or Superman? The answer is Superman

and it's not even close. Do you think I would

fear torture from a man who has no concept of

pain? A man unable to bleed or feel true fear?

Or someone like Batman, a man who knows pain,

knows fear, who has seen horror and endless death

since he was 8 years old? His finishing school

to be the Batman was in the art of assassination

taught to him by an immortal eco -terrorist.

If someone stands in the way of true justice,

you simply walk up behind them and stab them

in the heart. And the one person who knows the

slippery slope it is to get Batman to that murderous

place most is Batman himself. Some people can

take a life and be okay. A soldier, a cop. Batman

knows he's not one of those people. He's a boiling

Kettle of anger using all his will not to go

too far since he knows he can't turn back From

the abyss once he's looked into it everything

about you tells the tale your attitude your costume

your tactics They all scream of outrage despair

This is why the Joker tries to push him to that

place every chance he gets even though it may

mean being a victim to the Batman himself. He

knows if Bruce goes unchecked, starts breaking

that rule, the chaos he'd cause would eclipse

anything the Joker could do himself. I've used

some drops this episode of characters. Some people

unwittingly think that Batman should be Judge

Dredd the Punisher. Owlman, an actual counterpart

to Batman from another universe who became so

jaded without a code he tried to kill everything

and everyone. Batman is not those people. He's

edgy, yes. He's dark, yes. He's violent, yes.

But he's a hero who knows his limitations. A

person trying to be an imperfect symbol, not

purely for vengeance, but for justice. One of

the things that also got me going on this subject

is my undying love for Matt Reeves' film The

Batman. It's a masterpiece, a work of art, my

favorite Batman film ever, and no, I will not

be taking questions at this time. The thing,

though, that worries me is that the lazy criticism

lobbied by the impatient ADD society we live

in now, you know that the film is too long. They

prompt some Warner Brothers studio head to strong

-arm Matt Reeves in altering his approach to

a sequel. Matt Reeves, Mr. Reeves, sorry, Mr.

Reeves. If you fell down an indie podcast rabbit

hole and managed to stumble upon this humble

program, listen to me, please. Fuck those guys.

I want you to make nine Batman sequels just like

the one you just gave us. Don't change a goddamn

thing. This is Kevin Conroy. And I am the goddamn

Batman.