Bat-Mite Issues 6 Review

This is Kevin Conroy, and I am the goddamn Batman.

Welcome to The Pole Bag. Join us as we dig out

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this week's Pole Bag. Hello, and welcome to the

pull bag it is 2016 folks. It's a brand new year

for us It's our fourth year coming up here in

March, and this is another giant sized episode.

This will be episode 122 and 123 I'm of course

to join Mike and joining me for the first time

in God knows how long I think the last episode

he was on was marvelous March last year was superior

Iron Man I could be wrong, but it's JT from Saskaspoon

Yes, I'm back! It has been a while, hasn't it?

Yes, it has. And to kick off 2016. Wow, I almost

said 2015, folks. Damn it. 2016, we're going

to be talking about the six -issue miniseries

from DC Comics entitled Batmite. The creative

on this is Dan Jergens on the writing, Corin

Howell on the art, Mike Atee on colors. uh...

and a bunch of other people on letters and editing

and all that stuff uh... we're gonna start with

the divergence batmite special sneak peek and

we open up when in gotham city with uh... criminals

kinda running out of what looks like a bank potentially

some sort of a robbery some sort of a robbery

and and this whole thing kinda reminds me just

this this first couple of of of pages Almost

reminds me of the Batman animated series opening

a little bit kind of shades of like the That

opening sequence with the two thugs from 89.

Yep. Yep and then you know Batman's well putting

bat fists to criminal scum face and you know

a third member of the Percenters I think you

could call it all three of these. Yeah, we play

the percentages. Yeah They've got the third members

and you're drawing on them with the bazooka And

then yeah means we're ready for everything, especially

you and then you from music. Yeah Everything

music, you know, and it's no no no no no no no

batman I just love that full page image where

he's just like boot to the face of the guys just

got this WTF look on it Yeah And it's like the

classic kind of you know not to like the the

filmation Batman when Like well, it's the class

if you look at the comics like the from the Silver

Age and all that where batmite always has that

one ear that's bent Yeah Yep. See, the thing

with this is I was half hoping Corn Howell would

put in Looney Tunes eyes like Sludge in Transformers

the movie because I read an interview way back

when this series first came out. I read an interview

that I don't know. It was either Comic Resources

or Comic Vine. One of the major comic websites

did with her and Dan Jergens, the writer, and

she said her style is pretty much kind of like

Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Looney Tunes kind of

thing. And there's a lot of really cool old Scooby

-Doo kind of references and stuff like that in

this. And that's like the whole boot to the face

thing. That's really what I was thinking. I was

thinking of some weird Looney Tunes gag. And

I love the next panel where the criminals are

like who must have run out of Rob. Oh, yeah And

then it's like what could a Freak kind of hurtful

to somebody with body image issues Yeah, and

then bad ones like toes like things got a hair

trigger And I love the look on the other criminals

on the ground behind Batman or you know crap

in their drawers and Batman's just like Must

be Thursday look on his face. Yeah Yep. And he

runs, he gets them out of there, and... And then

the Colonel, just because we didn't expect Backdwarf,

just because... Hang on, hang on, hang on. It's

one thing I hate about living in this place.

They fucking use the intercom all the fucking

time. Ah. Maybe about five seconds of silence

and then finish your thought. I'll figure it

out in the editing. So Batman rescues the two

dudes from eternal damnation and the third one

draws on batmite and shoots him and he's like

cruel world And he's like, okay. Hang on kid.

I'll get you to the hospital. Did you say kid?

Do I sound like a kid to you? I'm sleeping. Well,

I'm sleeping well sing or sleeping I believe

we all sing bass in my band or is it baritone

tenor? Maybe I get a mixed up And I mean that

that's just the voice I'm using but I mean of

the three incarnations of that might an animation

you had blue Shimer Pat Fraley and you know Paul

Rubin's PB Herman Throughout this whole series.

I just heard the Pat Fraley voice. I mean it

was only that one time in TAS that we they ever

had that might and it was a robot But that's

the voice I hear with this art Yeah, I don't

hear the Paul Rubin's cuz I hear Paul Rubin's

and I just hear PB Herman. Yeah But then you

pretty soon you're gonna see him as the Penguins

father So I know it's eerie how much he looks

like Robin Taylor Lord. Yeah, no, but so yeah,

so that might kind of snaps at Batman and Batman's

kind of like The fuck you know, pardon my French

there there's the violation to the FCC and he's

like you could have gotten those men killed because

you knew that office was destroyed it's like

my plan worked i just love the wtf look on batman's

face yeah it is it is kind of awesome my plan

worked huh And then he goes on about how he's

got his Robins, his Batgirls, his whatever. Or

the Batcows. Batcows. He's got this whole briefcase

thing. We go through it. He's like, I'll say

it again, Bats therapy. I still like that. I

can be a secret weapon. And Batman's like, nope.

no not at all and you gotta love Batman's attitude

if I ever see you again I was like that's what

I love about Batman this dude could be staring

down the gun of a god and he'd be like I'm gonna

hurt you and he essentially is and then Batman

you know bamps off to like Times Square So I

mean that that might Bamps off the Times Square

and he's pontificating that some of these heroes

need repair jobs and I'm just the guy to do it

as We end this preview looking up at these billboards

and you see, you know Hawk and Dove and Superman

and the Flash and Firestorm and well a fair gamut

of the Justice League. I Mean all in all this

this is a pretty decent teaser I thought so All

right, let's get going on this all right folks

it is time after that drill we had it's time

for Batmite issues one through three out of six

In the first issue we have the... I love the

original, the regular cover here. He's got Batman

checked off and who's next? And everybody else

on the list and it's like, oh my god, these poor

heroes. It's very much reminiscent of that X

-Men Days of Future Past cover. And I love how

everyone's just all kind of like looking down.

In fact, the only... outside of wonder woman

like dove and dumb bunny from the inferior five

are the only heroes on here are like oh he's

so cute yeah like and you can't really tell like

superman's like oh boy batman's oh boy booster

gold's like the fuck yep yep all right so this

one we started off with That might imprisoned

in his home dimension Which is ostensibly the

fifth dimension, but they've I don't think they

ever established that But he's before this tribunal

and the only acceptable penalty is death. I don't

know. Let's make it a slow death He's just like

see I can't tell which is which I know I know

who they are now yeah, obviously since we read

the end of it, but like i'm trying to think personality

wise uh... who would be who here yes uh... i

mean at this point you service that muffled kind

of ominous you have desecrated you know that

sort of thing cuz it's carton if you go with

cartoon logic i mean that's what they all sound

like before the hoods come down you know but

basically batman has uh... screwed up royal yet

again according to the laws of his homeland and

they're all discussing you know You know with

the slowest death possible hanging electrocution

Subjugation amputation castration that might

like oh boy Yeah, and then they decide to exile

them to you know the third dimension. They're

like finally well rid of him He's someone else's

problem now And We come upon a couple of well

MOOCs Yeah, and then there was MOOCs escaping

from the bat Batman in the Batmobile and I Mean,

I love their they're kind of pragmatic is he's

like, how do you know it's Batman? He always

knows no way I can outrun him do him consider

him done that was like yes This just this works

out so well for everyone else. Yeah, and then

We find out it's batmite in the Batmobile because

he's like where's the batzooka or the bat pitos

and the lasers why aren't there any lasers and

the batmobile itself is a combination of 75 plus

years of design i mean this thing is it's got

it's got a little bit of 89 and it's got a little

bit of animated series in it the front end has

a little bit of the old like the 1950s style

with like where it was the the actual bat on

the front of it yeah i'd almost say with like

the the the vein well not veins but like the

angular bits you can almost argue there's some

of batman forever a little bit in it it looks

like a cool batmobile uh sadly it's not long

for this world because that might didn't pull

a page from short round's book and strap like

three phone books each to his feet so he could

actually see where he's going and he's like Everyone

knows the battle wheel should have bat chutes.

Yeah Or the bat or the bat retro rockets abandon

ship every man for himself women and children

second Ever the hero bat night Yeah, and then

you know, the the mooks have gotten away we killed

Batman and I love the drivers like What do we

think that because we see a rather ominous shadow

in the road? and we see some Well, not to play

it down, but we see some rather general badassery

from Batman. I mean, the dude leaves over a running

car, throws a grenade onto it, sends it into

a tree. Yep. And then he just, you know, pimps

in like he's what to do and kicks their butt.

Yep. And we should say that these are two guys

in surgical scrubs. Yes. They're the nurse mooks.

Yeah It's just like a bat mighty he he bamps

in Versus Batman's pimping in and he's like,

whoa. Whoa. Whoa a batarang you risk someone's

life on a toy from kangaroo land And Batman's

like you Yeah That might just goes on and it's

reminiscent of You know like Robin from like

the early days of T .A .S. where he just keeps

going and Batman's just like, ignore him, Bruce,

center your chi, oosa. It's what I love about

the art, like Batman, you see, he's just trying

to keep his calm before he reaches out and starts

throttling this imp from the fifth dimension.

You know, all is I can think of, and I know this

is going to be really, really, really bad because

I know everyone hates the movie. Chicks dig the

car. This is why Superman works alone He's like

Clark would never have to deal with this I do

I do like the line from Batman Suggest your number

one pack a gun better yet a laser or a batzoo

cat Tell me you wouldn't like to have a batzooka

in your car and on your belt Yeah, and then you

see that Batman's rescued this kidnapped victim

and bat selfie and of course batman's gone when

he turns around because that's what batman does

yeah with the bat wing yeah or the bat plane

or some sundry other bat flying device that we

have yet to learn the name of i i just call it

a bat plane or a bat wing yeah doesn't doesn't

really matter Uh, he's like, Oh, well, I guess

that explains how we got here. I'll have to take

that for a spin too. He turns around and it's

funny. You mentioned, you know, Looney Tunes

before, cause we get a shout out to, you know,

Animaniacs. Hello nurse. Yeah, that that nurse

is evil I can already tell just by the look on

her face I can tell she's evil It's never there's

no flashing lights from an ambulance. She's carrying

a purse to a crime scene Yeah, and that might

saw like how you do it And he's like she's like,

oh shut up and she's she's had some forethought

cuz she's brought a pest repellent She she casts

his bat might Which you wouldn't think would

work given that he's a being from an alternate

dimension, but I digress. See, I can kind of

suspend my disbelief on the gas thing because

it is... With that might and... Misia's pidlic

they both are affected by our dimension in some

way or another and it's kind of like, you know

Superman being affected by the yellow Sun and

Such whatever else, you know that kind of thing.

So that doesn't really bother me at all. Yeah

I mean it makes it in the terms of a cartoon

It's like we all know the living tunes are invulnerable,

but that doesn't stop Bugs Bunny from taking

a shot to the head now and again So we or Daffy.

Yeah Yeah, so one. Hey laughing boy one bullet

left. I know I know So we then move to the Adams

family or the haunted mansion, you know this

gothic Victorian looking sort of house and You

know the nurses watching over batmite as he comes

to and she drops some cold water on him He's

like, who do you think I am aqua might? Yeah,

and he's that he's still trying to put the moves

on her And in walks, uh, Dr. Drama. And I'm just

kind of like, Jesus, Cruella DeVille's got a

sister. Wow, no, that's even worse than Cruella.

She almost looks like a coat hanger. Or a corpse.

Not a coat hanger, a, um... Coat rack? Yeah,

one of those circular ones, you know? Oh, God,

what the hell are they called? It's almost like

an umbrella stand, a little bit. Yeah. Some piece

of furniture that's really thin and angley So

batmite starts commenting on her and he picks

up this mace. That's just you know leaning against

the wall and Yes, what's your story? Where are

the rest of the tank size? And she's like, I

don't thank you not to compare me to those barbarians

He's he's like how you know speaking of our barriers

what's with the skull crusher? I love that line

and then he's like uh the acclaimed and revered

doc trauma never heard of her yep and it goes

on it's uh talking to like okay she's a plastic

surgeon and i'm getting shades of bruce campbell's

surgeon general from escape from la here because

she's talking about you know transplanting batmite's

head onto a pig's body yeah and the nurse is

backing her up and Trap door in the old mansion

how wonderfully cliche I Still I still like how

he can't help but be a huge nerd and that's what

I love how they've Changed bat mites characters

since like brave in the bold in the few appearances

had that he's he's like this giant pop cult He's

like freakazoid, but not nearly enough as annoying

Cuz you see if you're really gonna race you you

gotta do better like knife me at the same time

or poison me with a glass of spiked wine Like

I tell my here friends. You've got to up your

game and the nurse nurse ratchets like this and

gases him again and Now we're in like, you know,

the requisite sub basement the dungeon He's like

call me Agnes the nurse says he's like, you don't

look like an Agnes How old are you? 22, 24 tops,

97. Love is just how he gets pissed off. And

it's like, you're not even sporting all original

equipment. And we're going by, you know, as we

get to the end of the issue, Batmite's locked

in a cell with, he sees there's other, quote

unquote, patients. Here and he gets into the

he gets his first little bit of Kind of Stanley

like alliteration you diabolical debutantes of

devilish deeds Sorry, Stanley. I meant Burt Ward

Yeah, the the funny thing is before he does that

When we get a look into these cells and one of

them says dude if that's Batman, we're as good

as dead Yeah, he's just kind of like, you know

what I'm ready to meet my god And yeah, then

we see like the operator with like these gnarly,

you know surgical arms coming off the walls and

like the the requisite straps on the table and

that might gets thrown in the cell with the new

new Hawk man Yeah, and he He's trying to you

try pops out a bat laser If only you know who

we're here to witness this momentous occasion

and you know batman's drugged out of his gourd

and doc trauma comes on comes on the screen and

if you know we get the she intends to put her

brain in hawkman's body and you just see the

look of like absolute wtf on batman's face yeah

i i loved this first issue because what jergens

and howell are doing the it's like a cartoon

set in the new 52 like it is in continuity but

it's just slightly to the side it's slightly

to the side but it also is the thing of you know

you're having it it's almost like no I know you're

going to say blasphemy when I say this but it's

almost like The 90s cartoons came to modern day,

but this is only better than any 90s comic at

all Because it's just so awesome how they've

got this set up first of all you've got all the

other heroes Pretty much in their new 52 garbs

for the most part You know you've got their designs

you you've got Howl is using the new 52 designs

for the main heroes, and then she's using her

own little style and touch tweaks for the original

characters like Doc Trauma or Nurse Agnes or

even Batmite. I've never seen Batmite look like

this, which is fine. I don't have a problem with

it at all. After reading this first issue, I

was like, I can't wait till the second one because

it was just so awesome. Well, I mean, in the

preview, Batmite had the blue and gray design.

And then in that last where he's in New York

City, They give them that slate. I don't know

if it's they meant to do it or it's just because

there's so much late He's has that purple and

gray. Look, which is kind of that call back to

the filmation That might design and then you

look here. He's you know, he's just got the gray

on slightly darker gray That you know ground

black, you know like for Batman. So yeah. No,

the first issue was absolutely lovely I'm definitely

like I'm calling it now. I'm gonna get the trade

of this, you know This is definitely something

I would want to reread. Oh, absolutely. But I

was going to say just, you know, when you look

again, you know, speaking of Hal's art, when

you look at the cover for issue two. Now, first

of all, I just could say Hawkman is one of my

favorite DC characters. There's something about,

you know, the barbarian with wings motif, because

we got. Basically four different designs. The

one on the starting on the left, there's the

green Hawkman, which I don't think he's ever

used in the comics. It's the green arrow meets

Hawk. It's like, what if green arrow and Hawk

Girl had a child? Oh, Jesus. Well, you know,

if you take Hawk Girl from The Flash and Steve

in a mill, that would be a beautiful baby. Moving

on you got the gray and gold kind of slightly

armored Hawkman from like the Early to mid 90s.

We have the second version of the Hawkman costume

that the Golden Age wore with just like the straight

-up hood and and then we have like, you know,

I Like like classic Hawkman like classic Justice

Society a satellite era Justice League too many

feathers yeah yeah it's like too green not enough

feathers too old and i love the uh the i'm not

so old i can't put you over my knee look on golden

age hawkman's face yeah and and of course he's

got like a notepad with shit and clearly there's

too many feathers because they're all over the

goddamn ground yeah and we move in and there's

there's something i i mean i know i don't think

they're going for any christ -like imagery but

they got this whole crucifixion look to hawk

man yeah you know where again he's still out

cold and probably still irritated by batmite

because this is it hawkster gut check time we

put up or shut up separate the men from the boys

the boys from the girls which i probably shouldn't

say in this era of diversity and inclusion And

then we get a little more Birdwood, a venomous

villain with vile virulence. And as soon as I

read that scene from V for Vredetta, it goes

off in my mind. Did you notice the title of the

story for this issue? Best episode of Justice

League Unlimited ever? And I gotta say, because

it bears mentioning completely unrelated to the

issue, but aren't you going to wash your hands?

No, because I'm evil. The greatest line uttered

by Clancy Brown ever But he's talking and then

talk trauma still in the TV grinning like the

Joker Yeah, 200 plus years as I told you I knew

the Frankensteins some of them intimately Victor

was the clumsiest of lovers It's just so creepy

yeah, it's like the given his profession his

knowledge of female anatomy was not TMI Yeah

so we see him bat mites like pondering how to

get out of this and I Mean when all you can do

is fly it's pretty hard to compete with an ombre

like Superman know what I'm saying Not if you

agree Yeah, and then you know bat might I know

it says blipped, but I'm just going with BAMF

Yeah, and he bamps back to the study and he brings

back the mace the mace and the armor and the

gauntlets and You know he Three words full body

And it was like well, excuse me he flies in the

upper atmosphere a lot and it gets cold up there

yeah, so and of course doc trauma is like what

have you done and And I love Batman how to fix

the Hawk when so many have tried and failed before

me now I know I don't think that's a knock at

bat Hawkman's history and we could do an entire

episode on the absolutely that guano insane history

of Hawkman but in terms of his origins and everything

we see another shot of you know, we got Again,

it's kind of like the color to feathery and there's

a shot of like the Hawkman from Kingdom Come

there's You know, what if the Silver Surfer was

Hawkman? What kind of thing or Robo Hawkman we

got Golden Age Hawkman and classic Hawkman and

then Hawkbat no only a privileged few get to

wear the cowl and it's just and you see him it's

it's kind of like that scene and imagine if this

was a cartoon it'd be like that scene in Aladdin

where Genie's just what does he need what does

he need what does he need and you see like Abu

is just getting traumatized by all the random

changes yeah god i can't even remember all those

right Can't even remember all those random changes,

but yeah, I know what you're talking about. And

then it's like, oh, yes, instead of the Savage

Hawkman, which is what the Hawkman's title was

in the New 52, we get Hawkman the Savage. And

this is what Hawkman would have looked like if

the kid from Axe Cop had designed him in the

1990s. Yep. pretty much yeah Wolverine style

claws one hand has been replaced by the mace

he's got flame tattoos and other tattoos and

no shoulder straps and he's been waxed yeah so

basically the mooks come back into play again

the nurse mooks i love these guys The gas worked

before let's try it again And they take them

both well that might gets tossed off a cliff

by the mooks and we see something that a Lot

of mooks is like you want to dig the hole be

my guest pistol knife Going soft me again cliffy.

You think I'd like working for these old crows

jobs are scarce, bro It just seems like some

you see a lot whenever it's just two mooks going

about their business they always mention like

student loans or the wife's on me to pay the

mortgage this month and You know, so they tossed

that might over the cliff and Honestly with the

references to Frankenstein, I thought they were

gonna like pop open Hawkman's gourd like a cantaloupe

and in this case, it's just literally electrodes

and Electrical again going to the whole great

brain robberies aspect like it's just It's not

as cool as I thought it would be And See that

might punch a shark Yeah Let me see that might

punch a shark and we have I love the way Juergens

writes his internal monologue. It's just so cool

I still like that where he comes out and they

get like the flash of lightning and it's like

the dark might returns. Yep. And he almost, it

looks like Howl has, at least in this image here

where the dark might returns, it looks like she

is pretty much, it's gray for most of the suit,

but it's black for the cowl and for the cape

and all that to kind of obviously reference.

Frank Miller and all that I just love that. Oh,

no, that's an awesome image and that might for

a second You know is like I could just get the

H out of here and then he decides to do the right

thing. Oh So much for that and now we've got

gender identity issues Hawkman attacking him

It's like you should be dead and you should be

on the Golden Girls calling it best line of the

issue Yeah Hmm is like that is like you are the

most irritating creature I've ever encountered.

Hey, I just happen to think Huxter will lose

his spot in the Justice League. Can I have it

pretty please with a bat away? Yeah, this this

issue is pretty awesome and you notice what another

Adam West Batman reference, right? Yeah, now

we're bat might brings out the bulletproof bat

shield to we're off a blow from the the Hawk

Mace Yeah And I love how he references is like

full with the gas because the mooks are back

with a gas gun It's only once twice thrice. Yeah,

only four times. Yeah, and I love the look at

his face where he's like he's gets the gun and

you know Say goodnight Tweety. It's just like,

uh, it's not quite for the momentum hasn't quite

gone out of Hawkman yet. He flies right into

the building. Yup. And I love how, you know,

he gets it back inside and strapped to the table.

And I honestly thought they'd have an image of

like Hawkman waking up in like trauma's body

is like, what, what, why do I have boobs? Like

just having Hawkman freaking out, but. Given

that he's kind of a non -entity in these first

couple issues here. I love how he interrogates,

uh, Agnes. You know, not bite it, snap, she bams

off somewhere. He's like 28, 29, 30, brings her

back in. It's like, she's like, you know, covered

in seaweed. He's like, so you want to show me

how to do this now? Yep. And eventually, you

know, Hawkman gets his own body back and we why

is my shoulder so sore? And then you know two

of the the intended victims or patients end up

kind of For befriending batmite and take him

home for the night Yeah, you think of Batman's

sidekick. He's my sidekick. I made him and that

might has a little not undue temper tantrum because

you know who do you think is responsible for

busting this free show not the peacock he's clueless

I love not shaggy here he gets a name next issue

but not shaggy here is like mini dude has a point

yeah And we kind of end with the introduction

of the rest of the series villain gridlock and

I love the I Love the next batmine and Robin

the dynamic new duo they ain't The second issue

it's been a lot. It's a lot of fun and it just

continues the not completely out of balance wackiness

that That this series has had thus far Yeah,

and, um, you know, Juergens and Riley, I've,

I've been so anti DC the last year and a half

or so just because of all the, Oh, Hey, we're

going to reboot the reboot and blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah. We need. we need more money so let's

take everything back to a number one again and

blabity blah blah blah and just it hasn't really

been or hey let's let's take something really

good and kidify it up and continue the series

why not just end it on on the good note that

it was instead of having to have issue 35 to

whatever be the kidified version of anyway uh

but that might and something that probably Steve

and I will be doing eventually, Batman Beyond,

the other series Dan Juergens is writing with

Bernard Chang on art on that one. Those two series

are really the two superhero series I'm reading

at DC. I mean, I know Batmite was only a six

-issue miniseries, but, like, I essentially have

no DC anything anymore other than Batman Beyond

and obviously He -Man, but the He -Man thing,

I... It's DC, but it's a license for them. It's

not their, like it's, you know, it's not their

care. You know what I mean? So, uh, DC, I'm,

I'm so far removed from DC other than that might

Batman be on it. He, man, I just don't care for

DC anymore, which four years ago, the beginning

of this podcast, that's all it was going to be

was DC. I'm currently only getting like four

DC titles and two of them are. Well, they're

both there's Justice League and Justice League

of America And then actually five Aquaman bat

Aquaman flashing Green Lantern, but you know,

yeah It's so I'm honestly surprised like I gotta

say now I'm honestly surprised like Jen Juergens

is one of my all -time favorite DC artists like

he is my Superman artist and it's And I know

he can write like I've read stuff. He's read

written before but I'm honestly surprised at

how much How how how he's balanced this like

keeping the story flowing and not letting get

drowned in like jokes and gags and whatnot He's

killing the story on this and he even a Batman

Beyond I mean I know they're two very very different

things obviously between Batman and Batman Beyond

but the way I look at it is Batman Beyond is

his way to get serious storytelling done and

this is Him and corn how on the art being able

to just have some fun and that's really for me

that's what DC that's what I needed from DC was

fun because everything else that's the mainstream

news 52 whatever the hell they're calling it

the the DC you now why oh you know god I just

needed some fun out of the DC superheroes and

this is what what what I got and I absolutely

love oh yeah from my realm have powers that you

3ds take for magical a friend of mine in metropolis

told me about menaces like you i'm not a menace

you're my hero green arrows gonna love this green

arrow pu flash plastic man please they're not

fit to buff your battery Alright folks, we are

back. We took a little break. We're technical

difficulties. I don't yeah You know, I Really

wanted to see bat might go up against the Joker,

but sadly no, but we start here with issue three

And how we're gonna do this, because of the technical

difficulties, we're gonna do three and four and

then five and six. So there we go, that works.

So one more break after issue four here, but

issue three starts out with the regular cover

of Batmite hanging upside down and a Batmite

bucket dumping water over Damien's stupid head.

Just trying to make the kid lighten up, which...

I'm fairly certain if Damien Wayne ever smiled,

the universe would come to a screaming halt,

but it's kind of like when Mandy smiled in that

episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

in All Life as we know it came to a total protonic

reversal. Yeah, I think for me the world will

rejoice in laughter and enjoyment once Damien...

dies permanently. Worst character in Batman history.

Seriously? Yes, seriously. You're discounting

as bats. Worst Batman sidekick character in history

of Batman. A spoiler. She wasn't that bad. She

started a gang war in Gotham ignorant of the

purpose of the plan Batman had set forth and

then they they killed her and then they unkilled

her because of fan Outcry and they made her Robin

for all of three issues and What did they do

to Jason Todd they did that? Well, actually the

fans did that the fans killed him and then they

brought him back and he's a badass Yeah, so whatever

anyway that might issue three we start with bat

might doing narration with Robin underwater He's

blowing up the Batmobile so no one gets and I

love how he's even as much as he Claims not to

be his father as most guys do You know he he's

narrating his life the way Batman tended to do

back in like the 50s You know the charges are

set father describes this thief as an imp Prankster

more like a devil one deserving of punishment

and he almost could hear his voice like descending

octaves like that until he gets to the swear

to me Sort of yeah, and yeah, I love the batmite

monologue though. Yeah, so he sent the runt Yeah,

and we see Damien gets Almost gets ambushed by

the series villain gridlock Who until I saw him

actually name himself gridlock in that last issue

I thought he kind of looked like this old JSA

villain Baron Blitzkrieg Yeah, kind of the same

buckethead sort of design, but I Love gridlocks

powers. He touches you and you Basically your

body locks up Not unlike gridlock I See there's

There's a problem. I have well there was a guy

Have you read the transformers animated rid cartoon

comic ah? I haven't yet Okay, well in one of

the first five issues in one of the issues. I

think it's either issue two or issue three I

forget There's a new bus former called transit

As soon as I saw gridlock here, and I'm like

hey, where's transit when you're? No, yeah, yeah

one touch from gridlock, and you don't move so

At least at least we get some nice apartment

drama. Oh yeah from We'd and we'd and Reagan

like okay, so yeah, he's good not shaggy his

name is weed That's a nickname as we learned

shortly I love we sitting there. He's like so

many other young adults. He's eating his booster

puff cereal. Booster gold crisp. Yeah, no. And

they're basically talking about how they they

put that might up for the night. And, you know,

he leaves today, right? If he ever gets out of

the bathroom and he comes out, I just love the

image of. You know the the the toilet overflowing

bat night with a five o 'clock shadow. He's got

a stogie and a bottle of brew And he's like what?

Like it could could you be any more Oscar from

the odd couple sir? That is that is some Irish

Guinness right there in a bottle. I mean, it's

it's I've had shower beer now and again, you

know The only problem is is that's a three leaf

clover number four leaf clover Well, maybe it's

three leaf brand beer like cheese or cool brow

as they used to sell in that Superman comics.

So oh And we get a little little nod to Joel

Schumacher. We get a little bat my tush Wait,

why is that a nod to Schumacher? Ash shot? Okay,

yeah, but that was in costume that wasn't, it's

not like, yeah, this is completely different.

Well, the way they had those pants molded onto

Batman and Robin left very much in the imagination.

Yeah, as I like that, there's water everywhere,

and you aren't even dressed. Sorry about that,

didn't mean to offend your delicate sensibilities.

you know, so he costumes up and cleans everything

up and I Love that it's like what's your real

name? I can't call you tut tut my dear if my

true identity became public knowledge It would

compromise my effectiveness as a nemesis of evil

and she's like, right And what's with the name

grass in a shroom already taken yeah He's chilling

with weed and he's like it's a nickname man Dylan

Dylan waitin Which is kind of cool of a last

name and I don't think the guy's actually a big

stoner even though he's tried to look like a

huge stoner Yeah, I love that night saying it's

like in here. I thought you were a wannabe horticulturalist

You you're out of head cheese. I was like, of

course that might would like head cheese Only

a being from the fifth dimension would enjoy

such a gross concoction. I'm gonna bring this

up later, but After reading this series, I really

Really want a bet my from these creators from

Juergens and then how I want a bet might Makes

he has piddly team up mini series. Can you imagine

a one -shot? Yeah and especially you got and

you if they I They've introduced mixy into the

new 52. I Honestly, I haven't read anything aside

from Aquaman, Flash, Green Lantern, and the Justice

League. The only Batman I read was Death of the

Family and then Endgame. I haven't read the adventures

of Commissioner Gordon as the Dark Knight detective.

i read forty one forty one was uh... i i i gotta

go back to it eventually but no i mean like just

imagine okay brave the bull paul rubens as that

might and gilbert frigging godfrey from s t a

s as mixie and all my god that would be gold

On so many levels Every time I see Paul Rubens

and Gilbert Godfrey, I can't help but think of

the principal from problem child and the spleen

from mystery men I would forever be the one who

dealt it Anyway Reagan goes to work and she gets

picked up by her boss who's Director Paulson

apparently she's not an assurance agent. She

works for the Federal Security Bureau which FSB

which is kind of the initials for the Russian

Security Service I Don't think she's a Russian

sleeper agent, but who knows and it's basically

Paulson once To know everything about that might

he was know. What's the connection to Batman?

Reagan wants to get as far away from the annoying

little imp as possible who she claims can irritate

the most patient of Saints And he's like well

tough rocks kid. This is your case now and You

know, so we go back to you know, we that might

news They're actually getting Weed's trying to

explain the Brady Bunch to him. Yeah. That the

show is actors, the story is made up, blah, blah,

blah. They get a news report. This amazing footage

showing Robin in jeopardy. Well, I say, what?

I love the alliteration. Zao, some pestiferous

person of perniciously poisonous purpose, has

kidnapped my psychic sidekick. You know, he bamfs

off to... Zaoans, per what? Yes. Hey wait, is

Weed wearing a Batman shirt? Yes, yes he is.

Oh my god! That's funny. And then he goes and

we got, you know, a little pit -in -the -pendulum

action with a shark tank here. David's like nonplussed

to see him. Fear not boy wonder. What did you

call me? This is not Grayson that's not gonna

fly with dickhead Damien. Oh, yeah, but Possibly

my favorite call out to the Adam West show in

a Batman comic so far the bat might of course

has a can of Shark repellent bat spray. Yes,

he does. My inner child was squeeing so hard

when I read this The only problem with this,

and I actually have a screenshot somewhere I'll

have to show it to you after the recording, and

I'll have to put it in the post from the 66 show.

There was a screenshot on one of the episodes

where they show all the different varieties of

bat spray. The only problem I have with this

is it doesn't actually say bat shark repellent.

It just says shark repellent with a really fake

-looking picture of jaws, because as we all know,

the sharks still look fake. It's like bat, because

that was from the Batman movie. Yeah. Where Robin

was like, uh, octopi, dolphin, tuna, you know.

No, it's shark, I remember the dial, it's shark

repellent bat spray. But anyway, yeah, it basically

looks like he just sprays like a crap ton of

crazy foam into the shark's mouth. And I love

his comment, I see more sharks than Aquaman.

It's like every week is shark week. And Damon's

like, I don't need your help. And it's the filet

-o -ramen if not for me Yeah, so Damien, you

know gets out of it because he's half Batman

and half assassin Yeah, and he's like I love

that might you realize of course that I taught

him everything he knows, right right And I love

that I deserve gratitude not battitude or braditz

brad. Yeah. Yeah And he, I love that. You're

a fraud, a huckster, a charlatan. Why so, now

this is where I heard Adam West as batmite. Why

so glum chum? Yeah. Can you imagine Adam West

as the, oh god. Adam West is batmite. Oh, that

makes me smile at a special place. That would

be so... so or adam west is no animate this into

a d dc this is what you got to do help brother

out you make this miniseries into a one -shot

animated movie adam west is gridlock but anyway

they they argue and damian takes a swing at that

might gridlock shows up and I love that unreasoning

children incapable of true problem -solving ability.

You're so self -obsessed and focused on yourselves

that all you can do is fight And that might only

cuz it's on page 37 of the superhero manual Yeah

But yeah, we get the I love this. Let's see gridlock.

You say never heard of him, which means he's

a newbie. I can life coach both of you guys Just

the look of joy and in the following panel squeeze

that that might has I was just like God I just

would like a plush figure of that mate That would

be awesome. Yeah. So anyways, you know, they're

confronting gridlock and he's kind of sort of

spelling out his plans and You know, I'd love

that you bet I love I love bats asked me to stand

in liar Really need a sense of humor junior And

I love that it's like he said a child to send

a child did you just call me a kid I'm getting

really tired of that Bob And I like that I've

done a six -pack in a one of Cuba's fighters

before work and Again, this is totally where

the dialogue that gridlock has I could totally

see Adam was voicing this character Especially

if he's saying it's straight Mm -hmm. I like

that. And then he takes a shot at the modern

teen for, uh, and bitching about how 140, like,

Facebook and social media, like, 140 characters

is a novel, a four -word text is the Gettysburg

Address. Yeah. I love the next panels, though.

Yeah. I don't seem so unreasonable now, do I?

No comment. It's time to pull the goalie. I have

no idea what that means. And then we get an energy

bat or an extradimensional batarang. Yeah. I

just love his batmites, like, dance of joy. He's

like, I dropped another bad guy, like a festering

boil on the butts of super villains everywhere.

And then you're like, you defend Generation Selfie?

like the world was perfect 50 years ago and and

you know that that might has a point for as much

as i'm not a huge fan myself of today's generation

because lord knows i can't listen to the radio

anymore uh the world was ladies and gentlemen

the only radio station you should be listening

to is louisville's classic hits 1077 the eagle

anyway sorry go ahead Gratuitous plug. Achieved.

But I just love batmites, like the world was

perfect 50 years ago. Just because it's never

been perfect. We have to, you know, strive towards

that sort of thing. But batmite gets taken out

by gridlock and, you know, tossed to the sharks.

And Damien is just like, son of a bitch. I mean,

he says nuts, but we all know what he's thinking.

Then it turns out that well, I love the the X

out eyes on that might and That Damien gives

a mouth -to -mouth that I love David's I knew

you cared I take no joy in saving you Oh God

I can't believe he threw in a Jerry McGuire line.

Yeah. Oh, I still like the look about me. She's

like say it say And he just punches them I know

he punches them and You know bad might gets officially

loose like fed up and takes off He starts maniacally

laughing as I'm sure Batman does once the lights

are out in the Batcave and Alfred's gone to bed

but we end the issue with Damian laughing maniacally

and Booster gold and skeet showing up to apparently

take on gridlock And I love that. What the heck

is a batmite? Issue three, I absolutely loved

it. I thought it was really fun and everyone

knows, everyone should know, I am the biggest

hater of Damien Wayne. I cannot stand every single

thing about that character. Bruce Wayne already

had a son, not a biological son, but he already

had a son, well he's had several, but the main

one obviously is Dick Grayson, and I just don't

give a crap about Damien Wayne, but... I will

preface this in saying, you know, after I've

said all that, I will say that Jergens really

made me enjoy Damian in this issue. Yeah, it's,

uh, I wish him luck in the surgery to get the

telephone removed from, pole removed from his

backside, but we'll see what happens. But yeah,

no, this issue was a lot of fun and it's just,

it, it wasn't as, uh, I say, kinetically fun

as the last issue with like the fight. versus

You know gender identity changed Hawkman Yeah,

or Hawkman the Savage, but it was a lot of fun

all the same and you we get a little more kind

of insight into gridlock who's on this kind of

Restore America to what he thinks is the right

way gridlock 2016 No, seriously if you if you

if you look at this comic and you look at this

villain I Mean come on now gridlock is is trumping

all the cards here But we move on to issue four

The cover I kind of dig is you know skates booster

and bat might in It looks like museum like well

some sort of nerd museum Because they've got

action figures and there's a shot of the Maxwell

smart Which I thought was really cool on the

cover. Wait, is there really? Yeah left side

that dude holding a shoe up to his face. Oh Yeah,

okay, yeah, okay I got you know and missed it

by that much and I love how they Made it so Steve

Carell had to say it in that Say it like Don

Adams. I'm sorry. There is no there is no get

smart past Don Adams There just isn't that movie

is an abomination No, really Mike tell us how

you really feel I just did so we open this issue

with weed and Reagan talking about bat might

and And there she's getting fed up and he's Well,

she can get fed up all she wants. She's under

order from the American government or federal

government to Find out everything she can about

him Yeah, I know but is it just me or no I don't

know cuz like this is this in the Batman Beyond

series are my first real introductions to Juergens

writing Is it just me or is? Reagan and Weed

supposed to be Velma and Shaggy. I mean, just

the way they're interacting with each other here.

I don't think Velma has ever been this much of

a bitch. Okay, well, Daphne and Shaggy, but what

I'm saying is when Velma eventually goes off

the handle, she kind of will talk like this.

Now I'm thinking Linda Cardellini for the voice

of Reagan in the animated film. Yeah So They've

gone shopping as roommates or want to do and

they're coming back there's their bitchin Well

Reagan's bitching about bat might and weeds you

smell smoke. Yeah He's like hey kids, you're

just in time and I was like, okay, you've burnt

down half the kitchen there Why is there a rat

shoved into what looks like? some other jar in

the fridge There appears to be an octopus He's

made what looks to be like an awesome sub sandwich

Yes, but then there's a fish glued to the covered

door and just kind of like, okay I Love you know,

you talk about the alliteration here, but I love

this this twisted toaster oven of torturous torment

torched itself Lucky I was here to extinguish

the blaze The fiendish fire is finished And then

Reagan Justifiably loses it on that might after

his shenanigans have destroyed a photo album

it contains like the only some of the only pictures

of her family and I can understand her rage right

there cuz like Dude like you why was it in the

kitchen? So Yeah, I wanted it like and you can

understand that night's logic at the same time,

you know Dude like party foul Yeah I love I love

weeds finally starting to get get angry with

him And then the next panel goes if you use as

much oil as I think you did that'd do it Gadzooks,

could that be the trouble alert signaling impending

doom? Well, if only because you want to avoid

dealing with the consequences of your actions.

And then it's, uh... It's skeets. It's skeets,

and that might all of a sudden is like, what

the what? What is this fuckery? You know? Yeah.

Eddie Bat is like, what if you're an Executron?

And you know he bams out of somewhere and I love

skeets. I'm afraid that I have no idea what an

executron is You know and then it's all as I

can hear is Billy West when I see skeets now

yeah and as much as I loved oh God, I can't remember

his name that voice Something Scott that voice

the booster in jail you i hear i hear the voice

of the dude from smallville i'm sorry i love

the smallville version of booster cold so much

yeah it was just the right mix of steve rogers

and superman with just a little bit of uh shyster

in his voice Yeah, and I love the booster does

our job it calls them out and you know Shane

before you hop in the mystery Sheen to pick up

the element the crew might telling me where that

might is and Then that might bounce back in and

poofs off with booster to deal with That's setting

up the issue and I love weeds like I was gonna

get his autograph Again, yes Billy West voice

that comes out of skeets It's like I'm sure booster

will happily comply when we concluded our business

with mr. Whedon provided. We're all still alive,

of course yeah, and That might they basically

he's trying to scare the crap out of booster

and then he's surprised to find that booster

can fly Yeah, what's a century silent anyway?

Because he's assumed That he's assumed that boosters

something called the sentry silent which is something

from his dimension Yeah, that was supposed to

hunt him down So, you know the Guardians of the

Omni crown of course and boosters naturally So

basically they're teamed up to of course more

alliteration the terrible traitor of tomorrow

to be Yeah It's this whole thing is where that

might and booster play off each other It's see

they play off each other so well with just the

smack talk And they're going after gridlock is

He's trying to halt progress and turn back the

clock to a simpler time, you know as villains

are want to do Let's go with your name and then

basically That might of course goes in the full

-on life coach mode. The problem is you're loaded

with problems of your own. You need fixing probably

more than anyone I've ever met. I love this part.

Makeover! He's back. He's back. What do you think

Jiminy? Oh god, thank god. Jimmy Cricket or Vincent

Air. I love that fun. We'll never use you as

a resource again. It was like dark gold. Or black

gold. I was like, Jesus Christ. Somebody found

the spare ni - somebody found the last remaining

can of 90s and poured it all over Booster. Yeah,

Shadow Boost. Goldmonger. Goldmonger. That's

funny. Gold Lantern. Gold Fist. The man with

the golden arm. Better not go there. Boost the

Root. Boosterine. Boost Roticus. Wait, I've got

it! We'll play the Grim and Gritty card! All

I can think of is that series, that oil series

on A &E or TN, one of them history... There's

a... Is it the one with Don Johnson? No, I don't

know. It's one of those reality shows. Like Pawn

Stars. Like Storage Wars. It's called Black Gold.

It's on one of those networks. Skeets, please

tell me you aren't recording this. You programmed

me to record? You programmed me to record all

your exploits, sir. i like that no not this one

that's it get mad get vicious mean and nasty

fans love that and whatever you do never ever

ever ever smile and just geez like i love jurgens

like jurgens to me is like and i i love jeff

lobe's uh work because they both have like a

huge fanboy love for the great history of dc

comics except... Jeff Loeb kind of... He goes

a little crazy. He goes a little crazy and he

kind of refuses to take off the rose -colored

glasses of nostalgia a lot. Like, I love his

stuff, but sometimes it doesn't work and sometimes

it does, but I find Juergens to be a lot more

even -keeled when it comes to his writing. So

they basically, they bamf off to Gridlock's museum.

You know, again, it's the nerd cave we saw on

the cover and it turns out that gridlock is just

a huge nerd like he's got mint in condition comics

and action figures and you can see the Fortress

of Loctitude You see in one of the glass tubes

looks like Marty's outfit or like Michael J Fox's

outfit from back to the future and Such and I

love bat mites. You hear an off camera comment

from gridlock and then bat mites line, gurd your

loins people. Say what? It's like the ultimate

fed boy is here. How dare you invade my vault

of timelessness? No one is allowed here but me.

You know the one person I keep thinking about

that gridlock really should be is that guy david

something or other from once in future from all

that was the thing oh yeah the voice by peter

mcnickel yeah the guy who uh... whose wife is

constantly yelling at all that that would be

like the cruelest thing ever to get stuck in

that time loop I was like, what have you done

with your life? You know, people often wonder

if Batman has a sense of humor. He sure as hell

does, because he sure as hell smiled when he

said, oh, I wouldn't worry about him. He'll never

come to exist, or he'll, you know, time will

tell. I have taken care of it. Just that whole

episode will end of the episode where you know

and I know we're getting off on a tangent here

folks with the whole end of the episode where

John and Batman are Trying to catch him John's

like, oh the Green Lanterns have have a legend,

you know No one's ever supposed to see the beginning

of time and Batman's like write him a ticket

No, that's definitely one of my the better episodes

Especially where they have the Batman meet Batman

or have you already met? What's that called stereo?

Yeah, not now They used to call that stereo.

Yeah, so we get back to this and yeah, they start

fighting and Good luck lays it out even more

what he's going to do and basically he's not

so much going to stop the passage of time But

he can stop its effect. So nothing changes and

he's essentially He's essentially a comic book

guy from The Simpsons if he had superpowers.

And that he wants to preserve the world at a

certain point, you know, to what he envisions

as being its best. And I love Booster's line

where, best for 10 -year -old you, maybe. And

you don't get the forced culture down the throats

of the young. And he gets kicked back into a

sealed... a sealed case of comic books and he's

like, you've ruined all my things. And I do like

Batmite's, you beef about a 9 .8 instead of 10.

I love as we get further along here, he, Batmite

puts on a rubber kitchen glove and then it's

not even on him anymore. But oh no utility belt.

That's what it is. Okay. Okay. Okay. See I thought

he's and he pulls out the bat zooka and he fires

your horrific hoarder of haughty heirlooms will

be harnessed And everything goes boom Yeah, also

he forgotten the redesign to keep the force field.

So booster got locked up by gridlock. Yeah And

I still like that Batman this one's going right

up your nostril No, but you might have you blow

it a logic circuit I'm guided by my in -depth

in -depth study of Batman's tactics, and he surely

would have learned from you Yes, of course what

he his treasures would have been preserved impeccably

for decades losing them would be tragic only

hope of saving them is for you to restore booster

to his accurate self and so you I'm sorry, I

just can't get over the sheer ugliness of the

black gold design. I mean, I love the 90s. It's

so ugly, it's awesome. I love a lot of 90s comic

books, mainly DC, but god damn, that's ugly.

So he changes Booster back to his original thing,

which is going to be a running gag. And I love

How we get to later or he asks or bat might ask

skeets you're a security droid, right? Can you

come in and protect me? And he he basically says

You know and I can all but hear Anthony Daniels,

I'm afraid not sir. So I guess you aren't the

droid I was looking for I do like it though that

booster like Batman did restore booster and he

was able to You know get get the album. Well,

he gets the photo album back for Reagan. He knew

he kind of Protects like the gridlocks collection

for whatever real reason Yeah, but he goes back

and Reagan's like oh my god And she's like you

could stay forever and I just love the like she's

sitting there and she's all mopey at the kitchen

table and that might bamps in And even weeds

like dude not a good move Yeah, and then he I

Love like that mights like you can see him. He's

kind of taking and digging his toe into the floor

kind of move like he's just not wanting to deal

with this and you know Reagan forgives him and

they hear a news report of the inferior five

which leads into our next issue which we will

get to after this i can't my imagination is running

away with me all right folks we are back and

it is time for the inferior five superior six

Okay, this is this issue is probably gonna be

all you because I have no clue these people A

very brief history lesson the inferior five were

This also team of kind of ulcer on characters

that were kind of a parody of the fantastic four

that was originally showcased in showcase back

in like 66 and it's basically just one of the

first examples of self -referential meta -humor

in DC Comics, who have popped up now and again

throughout the years, most notably just in cameos,

because I think they only ever actually appeared

in like two issues a showcase. It's a concept

that DC kind of goes back to the well now and

again when they need some crowd filler or if

somebody comes up with a unique take on using

the characters, like Dumb Bunny made a cameo

appearance in Grant Morrison's Seven Soldiers

of Victory, Merry Man's The King of Limbo in

Superman tie -in miniseries The Final Crisis,

and they also managed to team up with the Legion

of Substitute Heroes in an issue of The Brave

and the Bold, the second series. That ran a few

years ago, so They're just kind of goofy fun

characters from like that wacky creative period

in the 60s at DC Yeah, awkward man kind of looks

like a Aquaman Batman tick this well. Yeah, just

because of the blue in the ears and whatever

but yeah The Green Lantern like character. What's

he called? the blimp yeah the blimp he looks

he looks more like the blob not the blimp oh

yeah the blimp merryman awkward man dumb bunny

and white feather together they are heroes heroism

personified or at least they'd like to think

they are yeah so Batman that might whatever Same

difference. He's hopped up on coffee. When did

this issue originally come out? Oh, man. Because

Coren Howell so missed. If this came out right

before the holidays, but I think it came out

after that. I don't remember. She missed out

on making the cups red. Yeah, I'm glad they didn't

do that I just love the fact that the coffee

bat mites getting like the coffees he's grabbed

are About the size of like a 7 -eleven slurpee.

Yeah Like and I just kind of like no dude you

don't need oh god, he's drinking the whole thing

But yeah, so but in answer to your question,

I was just looking here. This came out the cover.

October, October. Yeah, mid -October. The digital

release was, yeah, both October. So I wonder

if the star screw cups were out by then. I believe

they were. Damn it. That would have been so funny

if she made it red. Anyway. So it's fueling up

to fight crime and If he hadn't stopped for coffee

three times we've lost them a long time ago You

know and it's like I dare not tell you my friends

not when the entire city is imperiled as immense

catastrophe looms with total annihilation and

destruction threatening to a blurry all we hold

dear for the day has come and it's basically

all setting up gridlock in His minions are fighting

the inferior five Like the blimp he can fly if

the winds with him white feathers fearless except

when he's scared which is all the time Funny

no longer dumb bunny strong and tougher than

an ox Merryman our leader. He used to be a 97

pound weakling before he lost weight Awkward

man. What might what power what oops? Yeah, no,

I definitely well, I mean awkward man was out

before the tick but I can see where the tick

may have taken It's no it's just in that one

shot when you first see him or it's like in the

in the panel where he's like I'll save oops and

tough bunnies like jinkies like the way that

his face is and the way that like because awkward

man like I said he's got his boots are essentially

flippers like Aquaman or whatever else and his

ears on the top it looks like the tick ears the

whole Yeah, now I love that I still love the

Again, the alliteration is something we both

love is the inferior fiber fighting the grody

grungy grossified grave robbers of gridlock He's

like, you know what I I take it back, you know

as much as I love Paul Ruins as much as I love

Pat Frilly We need to get Burt Ward to voice

version of that. Yes. Oh my god yeah i know but

no um imagine this okay you take the batmite

that we have all right in in this six issue miniseries

and you add firestorm powers to him not the actual

powers of firestorm but the inner voices the

inner voice is adam west what he actually says

is burt ward The internal monologues from the

previous issues are Adam West, but everything

else that he actually that actually comes out

of his mouth. Oh yeah, that's a great box. That

would be brilliant. Oh God, that would be so

awesome. Alright, so I love Reagan. Inferior

who? Inferior Five, Reagan, a self -styled group

of heroes who believe they can make a difference.

Unfortunately, if they have to battle anything

more than a bowl of mashed potatoes, they have

no chance. And then he brings up this giant bucket

of coffee that he sucks back in one shot. And

then just the swirly eyes and all of a sudden

he is just glowing with the power of caffeine.

Yeah, that's the ticket crime busters convened.

And you always hear this. And then he sees like

you're tough buddy. Oh hi Batman. Well, we're

almost identical, but I'm not And I love how

awkward man fights crime he fights it by being

he fights it by with the power all the powers

of Archie Andrews Yes, and he threw you know,

don't tough I'm sorry. I'm calling her dumb bunny

cuz that's what she was And there's really no,

I don't think there's any harm in calling her

that. But Dumb Bunny Throws Awkward Man at the

Blimp. You know, was sent careening into a bunch

of the goons. Who? Hired goons? I didn't hire

any goons. You see the White Feather losing his

shit. Okay, he's called the White Feather, yet

he's dressed in orange. What the hell? It was

the 60s. Oh, God. Just don't watch. OK, and that

might is like performance anxiety. Guess that's

what happens when you're afraid of your own shadow.

Yeah. I feel like that burn the female goons

and how progressive that they have female goons.

Yeah, but she's like that archer is so chicken

that he couldn't hit the ground if you fell out

of an airplane Batmites like interesting choice

of words Nice move awkward man. Uh, yes exactly

as I planned and then we see that the nurse goons

from Hey you guys found new jobs tattoos since

you put drop trauma behind bars before she could

pay us and we got those student loans, man Really

really wanted the other guy to be called norm

Here's what you do you You get Paul Rubin's the

voice batmite in the animated film you get out

of warden burst wet the voice the goons No, no,

no, I'm saying because he could because one of

them is called Cliffy. Oh, yeah Cliff Clavin

norm. Well the chair, but I mean think you get

either Cliff and norm to voice the goons or you

get Adam West and Burt Warden. Either way, it's

comic gold And you know, so, you know Merryman

tries to take on some Like WWE wrestlers size

of goons And that might bounce him off and he

brings them all together Just as this giant robot

comes crashing out of the building All's I can

think of is It's turbo man It's turbo time The

robot vaguely looks like Robbie the robot and

you know it takes off and Everyone kind of loses

their shit on On that night and then I Still

have that have you any concept as to what's happened

any idea the soul -crushing loss gridlock is

inflicted on the world That might say, okay,

I'll bite. And essentially he's written or he's

stolen the heretofore unknown original pilot

to the end universe version of Star Trek. Galaxy

Trek. Ladies and gentlemen, it's a combination

of Galaxy Quest and Star Trek. And I may alternatively

refer to it as Galaxy Quest or Star Trek. yeah

but yeah so basically he's great luck is because

he's this huge nerd obsessed with the past and

aren't we all to some point he's uh he's stolen

the unknown secret or double secret probation

pilot of star trek and it's only the greatest

thing ever and the museum was gonna show it tonight

you know so and batmite's like so that's what

the irreplaceable artifact was a tv show and

merry man just straight grabs batman he's like

i am going to jack you up with all the nerd rage

that his 96 pound body could muster yep and then

they all decide to team up and uh i love batman

whatever you say batman says tough bunny dumb

bunny whatever yeah and he's like okay the path

is clear if anyone was crying out for my help

it's you guys you guys and Basically, they become

like updated 90s versions of themselves Yeah,

at least white feather is actually white this

time As far as his costume goes so that's something

Good. I like the redesigns. They're cool. Oh,

yeah. I mean, it's not bad well aside from Merryman

having the 80s style mohawk Sort of thing. I

do think my favorite redesign would be the white

feather because that again That's kind of like

why is he called the white feather, but whatever

yeah, you know, so everyone's got upgraded powers

and With upgraded powers and abilities come great

responsibility because apparently Yeah, they

don't like these upgrades because they may it

makes them too serious. Oh, yeah, cuz I mean

they go to stop gridlock from you know stealing

the film or doing or completing his plans with

the film and they're all super effective and

everything and you see uh gridlock sets the canister

film on fire and and again some more only a demented

devil of desperately deep depravity would deign

to destroy a dream behold so dear And then finally,

you know tough money is like, you know, it's

we're too good. We're not ourselves Right, you

know and I mean that's kind of sweet really because

the character of done bunny like from what I've

read over the years at DC like she's one of those

like she's super strong, but She's kind of like

Chrissy off of threes company That you know,

she's really this sweet innocent type of chick

at heart Yeah, and she's the only one that despite

the upgrade she's the only one to Recognize that

they're going down the dark dark path because

you know you see Everyone like Mary Mack who's

like formerly Mary Matt. It's like had no idea

skull fracture could be so traumatic or Awkward

met or that me or that knees could shatter so

easy Yeah, so it's like for once I got you just

wants our friends back. Yeah But I like that

might realizing you know for once I got it right,

but maybe it was luck. Maybe it was the caffeine

You know great Caesar's ghost on a surfboard

it's gone That That is great Yes, yes it is and

if she's still at least so they part ways after

realizing that it was all a distraction for gridlock

to get away with the film and i still like that

she's like thanks batman yeah and he's like oh

shucks i i love that they aren't there just the

smile and the blush mark he's like oh guys and

so they go and uh i i love the That might you

see as we go back to the fifth dimension to the

the council of mights They they're watching.

I love that mights Thing there. Yo cliffy shotgun.

There's five bucks in if you guys want to help

clean up and so now the The the council mights

are sending the sentry silent after bat might

Yeah, leading us into our fifth issue or final

issue well issue that's what I meant sorry final

issue I do like the claymation or clay doll kind

of cover yeah it's not like the it's not the

traditional like I'm just waiting for Johnny

Gomez and Nick Diamond to show up yeah so we

get into that apparently I love the whole non

Entity like what was the point of the federal

security bureau since they never factored into

this story at all So what was the freaking point?

Yeah And they go on and on about what he's done

and he's disgraced the national treasure and

he's oh I love how we disgraced him out much

more and like he's Washington Of course that

might is and he's got he's drawn a mustache on

Damien and all that and You know this director

Paulson is wound way too tight and kind of a

priss because she's got a Secret Service agent

giving him a manicure Yeah, he's like I must

look perfect and pretty in all things Although

I I think and also how he's defaced like the

Grand Canyon in the Washington Monument I want

to go on that water slide. I want to go on that

rollercoaster Yeah, the Statue of Liberty upgrade

kind of makes sense Yeah, kind of and Kind of

I like that and you have to admit painting the

Golden Gate Ridge gold made sense It does make

sense like San Franciscans are outraged It's

like maybe just in the Castro I just oh free

chicken on Fridays vote. Yeah, just Just just

no we we do not need another bush in office at

first I thought like I know that's Bernie Sanders

But at first I thought it was either Penn Gillette

or he brought back Ben Franklin To in that one

and then and as for the Donald well, I'm not

a miracle worker I was like why would you want

to try? Yeah, and then he's talking to you know,

President Barack Obama and the Secret Service

he bamfs out and We just happens to be waiting

outside on Pennsylvania Avenue Yeah See, I don't

know like I I've never amended I've been through

DC like through that through their airports I've

never actually been in the city, but can people

actually walk on And like right in front of the

White House. Well, yeah, I mean they There's

like snipers and security guys patrolling the

grounds like well, yeah, no, I know but you would

think that I mean if you're there, it's basically

they're probably got like a 15 -minute time limit

to like loiter and take pictures and you know

selfie with the White House in the background,

so I Mean of all the things that White House

down and Olympus has fallen Got right the idea

that people are allowed to mill around outside

and you know just looking at the White House

so I just love it's like how was your meeting

awesome national fence really yeah giant robot

station at the borders can't fail social policy

told him to get Republicans to think it's their

idea that he hates it and it'll pass that'll

work well editors fall for it And and then all

of a sudden Hiding in plain sight is the villain

of the piece Using the and it's an actual political

term to gridlock is yeah again, it doesn't really

make any sense, but this senator hard grave is

Is actually gridlock. Yeah, and I still couldn't

be what a venomous villain of vapid finality

be so vain as to reveal himself like this Isn't

that obvious not if he think I wouldn't think

it's him because you think it's too obvious to

think You know, but yeah, so he goes in he gases

hard lock that Sorry, he gases bat my again Okay,

and you notice who's got in a picture on the

wall? Yep, so no wonder he's got that and I Love

the whole of us that I thought it's like wait

is this guy actually? Lex Luthor Because that

is such a Gene Hackman Richard Donner Superman

thing where he He's practically in the White

House. He gases batmite. He pulls off the rug

on his head and we wake up with batmite strapped

to a chair in gridlocks private viewing theater

and He's basically I'm gonna kill you but I'm

gonna let you watch this unreleased pilot first

And then bat might basically makes his ultimate

dream come true he can be a part of the thing

in an alternate reality and I think he actually

put him into the film. Well, yeah, I mean, yeah,

it's it's it's kind of like Siskel and Ebert

in Critical condition when slappy puts them into

the Steven Spielberg movie. Yeah but yeah so

he put he put the he that might put gridlock

in the in the in the pilot and uh and i love

uh the this is like such an emotional moment

must you weep and get emotional every time truck

and then on the next page uh not spock gets bitch

slapped by not bones and then captain the not

kirk is like you did this and he starts kicking

gridlock's ass Mm -hmm, and I love how bat might

he it's up to you to fashion the ending after

all you're in the land of where The dimension

of 60s television where all endings are happy

ones And all of a sudden Rampaging Power Rangers

mech comes through the wall. That would be the

century silence. Yeah Well, I say Power Rangers

cuz he's got like the port in the middle with

like weed and Reagan have been captured Yeah,

but he doesn't really look like a Megazord. I

mean, he looks like a combination of horrible,

horrible go -bot parts and some Transformers

stomach stuff. It's a giant robot, whatever.

You know, so basically he wants Batmite to...

You bat might come back to come back to the fifth

dimension. I love Reagan I don't think that man

was afraid of anything, but he's afraid of this

guy and we it's like Hey, is that the long -lost

galaxy trick pilot on the screen? Like you've

been kidnapped by a giant silent Mech and trapped

in his chest and you're like, hey, is that sci

-fi on TV? So that might you know says goodbye

it's it's honestly really sad think because you

can see it in the art but it's it's honestly

kind of sad and you know I like how he's like

yeah we need you it's like but you don't need

me to fix you you're perfect and he goes I was

just kind of like yeah and he gets back there

and we find out that Aquaman's on the left Wonder

Woman's on the right it's it's Aquamite Super

Might and Wonder Might Yeah, the JMA the justice

mights of America I Was like I was like you step

out of line again No more chance of whatever

you want set your rules refine your policies

lock in your guidelines You can even stick human

resources on me. I'll be good And I love the

the list is like there's a there's a new threat

in Imperils us all one. We may not be able to

become who is it the POSA monitor doom might

gorilla grog might no he would exile us into

oblivion cancel tron yeah and i just love that

it you know they left it open hopefully they'll

do another miniseries if they have to this created

between jurgens and corn howl these two are amazing

how they don't have just like bat might animated

shorts like that whole dc nation block thing

used to do On Cartoon Network or some of like

the internet only stuff like the super French

shorts that I've seen on YouTube but I love the

work because we're not going away not without

a heck of a fight and scene Yeah, and I and it

even says in there definitely not the end. Definitely

not the whatever. Well, definitely not the end

I mean, it's hopefully they'll bring it back

and I do like the you got like You know, not

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in the back there,

and then like the bunch of Bizarro worlds, which

I thought were kind of cute. Shoutouts to, you

know, Bizarro, because who... Me, I'm not super

bad. Yeah. Yeah... I dug this series. I wish

this would have become an ongoing... I mean,

I know DC does a lot of kid titles like they

have that Teen Titans blow stuff and they've

got Scooby -Doo. Where are you? They've got Scooby

-Doo team up and Eventually if I can pick and

choose a few Scooby -Doo team up issues we might

eventually do those like the Jetsons and the

Flintstones one of that kind of thing but Because

the only Scooby -Doo team up issue we ever did

Steve and I did the very first issue the very

first story with Batman and Scooby but like This

is a series that could go on like they could

do this For as long as they wanted to without

it needing to be in the the DC you Well, it could

be I'd so like oh just have that might kind of

pop in and out of Various storylines, you know

kind of like what they did with the Deadpool

the last few years in Marvel where they have

Deadpool's secret wars in the the last ongoing

Deadpool series before uh you know before Secret

Wars where they had issues where it's years ago

and he's teaming up with like G -Man, Nick Fury

from like the early 60s or it's only like 10

years ago and he's teaming up with like classic

Power Man and Iron Fist You know and the coal

cover he's got like an afro and everything on

top of his hood So but yeah, no, I mean this

this Siri is pure joy. I mean, like I said, I

heard Pat Frilly's voice You might hear Paul

Rubin's voice. It's just it was what's fun I

mean at this point honestly, like I said my the

best idea I had with this is Adam West is the

internal monologue and Burt Ward is the the actual

vocal. Yeah Or, I mean, even if they just got

Burt Ward to voice Batmite, like, they need to

turn this or give Batmite, like, bring back with

the forthcoming DC animated films, have a couple

of Batmite shorts where he's trying to reconstruct

Booster Gold or Blue Beetle or Martian Manhunter.

Oh, that would be so good. He's like, cookies,

really? Why cookies? Which is also one of my

favorite lines from that Justice Society episode

of Well Phil Morris just had all the best lines

in absolute justice Because it's Phil Morris

and that dude's awesome. Yeah, so What do you

do scale one to five still? Yeah, zero to five

zero five. Oh, this is a five Absolutely the

whole series like I was really skeptical because

I've never really been a super fan of bat might

and I wasn't sure how like one of the reasons

why I say this series could have gone on and

on and on and on is because of everything they

could have done with it. If you look at that

checklist on the very first issues cover. You

got Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green

Arrow, Green Lan - I mean, they could have done

so many more stories. I mean, I love how this

one ended and I love, you know, what I really

want now after rereading this and us going through

this series, I want Justice Might stories. In

the fifth dimension, that would be awesome. And

just even to the side, you have Super Might going

after Batman and just mix you standing off to

the side like, that's my shtick. Yeah, I mean

I I would love to see like with this characterization

of bad might have him deal with firestorm Yeah,

and you could have like Ron because at this point

in the like in the new 52 Ronnie Raymond and

Jason Rush are their own firestorms like they

can just become firestorms. They don't have to

bond with anybody Right, but you could have it

Because this is in continuity, but it's also

like three steps to the side so you could have

a Mark Doc Martin Stein inside Ronnie's head

in bat mites Bob like bat mites inner narration

could get into an argument with dr. Stein And

then they have that scene of firestorm of bat

might looking up at the sky and just yelling

shut up But yeah, I give it a straight five surprisingly

because a lot of times I found over the years

when I get into miniseries or specifically miniseries

is you can start off with one artist you get

used to that artist and then for whatever for

whatever reason editorial or actual deadline

editorial guidelines or deadlines I feel an artist

might have to come in for like that last second

last issue and it just breaks to change here

which is see this is one of those things where

corn howl to my knowledge i'm not looking anything

up folks she's new um this was actually the first

thing i'd seen her and after this i saw her do

some transformers wind blade stuff so with her

being again I don't know what else she's done.

I'm not looking her up at this point in time.

I'm just sitting here, but it's one of those

things where as far as I know, she's a new artist.

So I knew, like, I could see what you're saying.

Like it, like, um, they did that with a few artists,

uh, like, like when Jim Lee was on. Superman

Batman or whatever it was originally the first

two issues Jim Lee was on there and then oh,

hey cuz he's the co -publisher He's got better

things to do. So let's bring in somebody else

Yeah, I understand what you're saying. But this

no this could never have worked if they got a

replacement artist because her style is all Like

I what what like we've already said, you know

animaniacs Tiny Tunes Looney Tunes classic cartooning

kind of you know even the tick kind of stuff

um but just absolutely love this i i gotta give

the whole series a five as well it's just so

people if you're looking for a fun series to

read from dc check out the batmite six issue

mini series it is just so cool it's just so enjoyable

and also watch some of the batmite episodes of

brave and the bold beforehand just just to get

that paul reubens get paul reubens voice stuck

in your head in case you don't have a frame of

reference for who you'd want to voice this character.

Like I said, Bert Ward or Pat Fraley, but yeah,

total five out of five. Coming up next week,

hopefully, Spada and Scotty and I will be back

and it will be a crossover with From the Command

Center because Boom Studios is launching Mighty

Morphin Power Rangers Number Zero. That'll be

episode 124. Shut up, Alpha. uh... and then i

don't know what it was a one twenty five is going

to be i was going to do the dynamite series bother

james bond of all seven numbers one and two but

i i'm not too sure on that just yet uh... i think

i might want to have it was a one twenty five

b a holiday leftover episode and we talk to the

uh... transformers uh... and my little pony uh...

uh... uh... holiday specials from the end of

last year christmas last year uh... so but yeah

and then uh... rest of january we've got d four

v e one to five on episode one twenty six on

one twenty seven is d four v e number two issues

one to four and then joe and i will be back at

the end of the month for tmnt issues fifty one

and fifty two and then as i've already said multiple

times february is fiendship is friendship february

where we're doing All My Little Pony comics.

Somebody kill me now. No. You don't get off that

lightly. Yeah. All right. Where can the people

find you online, sir? You can find me somewhat

sporadically on another podcast, Comic Connoisseurs,

that I do with... The cousin Oliver the geek

cast radio network Don't even don't even don't

you know, we do that and you just need to carve

that out of your Your vocabulary right now the

geek cast radio network is nowhere near associated

with a Loose affiliation, maybe no. Anyway, you

can find me on the comic con of service podcast

and on Twitter at JT from Saskatoon Be sure to

follow the pull bag on Twitter at the pull bag

also like us on Facebook obviously at geek cast

radio on Twitter I am TF Joe and Mike make your

greatest game in the comics and we will catch

you next time It isn't 65 years in the future,

but Legends of the Dark Knight has gone beyond.

Batman Beyond, that is. Join Steve and Mike as

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