The Punisher 2004 Film Adaptation Review

Yeah, I'm a great in papers like all day and

weeding This is like the most relaxed I've been

all day and by weeding you mean smoking weed

Last time I got high was three weeks ago in Pittsburgh

at a friend's apartment and then I got a BLT

and I was laughing because I was incapable of

eating that sandwich properly. I was like, how

do I sandwich? Fuck! It's weird how you've confused

three weeks ago with three minutes. Welcome to...

The Pole Bag Join us as we dig out our latest

comics and discuss them with a rotating panel

of the GCRN crew So sit back and enjoy this week's

Pole Bag Hello and welcome to the 43rd episode

of the Pole Bag I'm your host TFJ Mike, joining

me is Ryan the Uneven Flow, hello and from Punisher

Body Count Jake and Dane. Hello guys. How are

you? Hey there. What up G? I'm assuming The keyword

here is assuming that we all saw Punisher 04

in theaters when it first came out there. I've

been meaning to get around to it funny funny

Okay, so We all saw in theaters. We all saw it

in media and everything else. This is the first

time I had known that they had done a comic adaptation

and Generally, I gotta say I'm not a fan of adaptations

for comics from from film to comic like if there's

I don't mind if it's if the films take elements

of comics But if it's like, it's kind of like

those, uh, they probably still do them today.

I don't read them as much anymore, but they used

to do when I was younger, they used to do movie

novelizations. And I know don't Ryan's going

to be like, Oh God, why are you referencing that?

But the one I mainly remember having is the judge

dread novelization, the Stallone version and

the Stallone film. In the novelization, Peter

David added so much exposition and so much additional

story than what's in the actual film. Peter David's

really good with that. Yeah. He also did the

1990 Turtles books as well. He did Iron Man too.

I'll just throw this out here as a side note.

Best novelization ever was Greg Rucka's novel

version of No Man's Land, which was so much more

concise and to the point to the comics. Anyone

who's a fan of like Batman should seriously consider

picking that up and reading it. It is just such

an improvement over a series that was OK, but

not great. But it's really important to Batman

as a character. There we go. You know, Ryan,

No Man's Land? joke was the first like series

like mega event I guess you call it in comics

that I followed when I first got in the comics

so I and I love Greg Reca I didn't even know

there you know no I did know there was a novelization

like years ago I should have fucking picked that

up yeah you know I think I'll look it up I don't

mean to insult the series when I say this, but

there's so much of the stuff that's cut out that

didn't need to be in there in the novel. It actually

improved a lot and adds a lot to Harley's backstory

and a lot of other things. So, we've got a couple

of questions, because we just do. From a couple

of the Punisher Body Count group members, K A

Stone asks, Simple, since the 2004 was heavily

based on Welcome Back Frank, how does the movie

adaptation measure up to the original? It doesn't.

At all. Who man the movie adaptation doesn't

even it will get into this when we get to the

review segment of this episode The movie adaptation

doesn't even live up to the friggin movie itself.

It also shouldn't even be mentioned in the same

sentence as welcome back Frank Actually the the

only way that the 04 adaptation even References

welcome back Frank is his three crazy roommates

and the Russian that's it Yeah, and we talked

about this beforehand, too, that usually movie

adaptations, one of the problems with them is

they're based off of early versions of the script.

What the hell was the Punisher movie adaptation

based off of? Did somebody write like 10 words

down on a napkin and they threw it in? I think

someone read Welcome Back, Frank, when they're

drunk and they're like, fuck, I'm turning this

into a movie. Let's do this. Added some stuff

from year one? Dane, eat that BLT right, dude.

Wow, they'll get that joke. Yeah Maybe he wrote

it after he did never mind The other question

and I forgive me if I screw this name up is from

John Pierre Chasm Are you able to see Frank Castle

getting into a romantic relationship? From what

I've seen in animation and in the live action

films and what I'm reading so far in Punisher

Month here in the pull bag, no, not at all. It

depends on the version. There have been plenty

of them. There's some that are - In the main

Marvel universe in like Welcome Back Frank version,

I don't see it. If you're talking, yeah, Welcome

Back Frank version, probably not. He's kind of

a sociopath. And then like the Max version is

just outright freaking psychopath. version so

He sort of has a romance, but it's not really

a romance in that Or like FWB situation there.

Yeah, or just sort of out of convenience that

kind of thing It's always weird. He'll frequent

prostitutes like yeah Just like going to the

dollar general store exactly what I'm saying

is he gets blue balls just like everyone else,

but I don't think he's really Interrelationships

correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the only

one he ever dates is what's her name Lynn Michaels?

Yeah, that's something we'll probably have to

handle in another you're gonna say electro which

is always on depicted as on and off to Yeah,

no that got started by Yeah, that was that they

that was like a one -off in Marvel Knights Punisher

and that was like play was but it's been brought

up a few different times, too Of course there

was the infamous Valentine's Day painkiller Jane

crossover. Yeah, I saw that that was a Man, but

we discussed that on the show. Yeah. Yeah that

guy was like no that was like watching an anime

where The lead guy has six chicks after his dick

and he doesn't care and all those six chicks

are put into painkiller Jane's persona Like that's

how bad she wanted his dick In that comic it

was it was kind of funny. I think Palmiotti did

that comic, but it's not very memorable to me

beyond that. Although somehow I remembered it,

so... You remember everything, Ryan, so... That's

unfortunately mildly accurate. But as for love,

no, that's kind of anathema to the Punisher,

whose whole deal is basically being his... Don't

you mean anathema? Yeah, you know, I fucked that

up. Sorry. Anathema. He doesn't even love his

guns. Not really, I mean he's just a guy that

By default his character is have as little human

contact as possible So and I think having a relationship

even be pen pals with someone would be a problem

So we're gonna do this this episode in two segments

after the intro here Okay, we're gonna do the

2004 film review and then we're gonna take a

break and then we're gonna go back to 1974 and

talk about amazing spider -man number one to

nine We'll be back after this The only thing,

to my knowledge, that this adaptation has anything

to do with the actual film is the front cover

of The Train. No, that's not true. The basic

plot does follow the basic plot of the movie.

Basically. Putting the movie into a 70 -minute

animated film and you're basically just shortening

it all together Oh, yeah shortening it to the

point or even the panels don't make sense Like

you'll you'll go from one panel on one page to

the next panel on the very next page and you're

like Fuck, did they cut like five panels off

of this page? Yeah No, absolutely things got

terribly abridged like they said like listen

Here's all the cool scenes and you need to have

these in here But the problem is they often have

very little context or very little buildup and

so it's like whoa like that like literally the

the big fight at the end it feels like it's down

to Two to three pages at the end and that's Russian.

It's two pages. Holy Yeah, it's about two and

a half actually like Not the Russian! Russian

was weird too. Oh, you mean the... Well, the

Russian... He's coming at the club, yeah. Well,

the Russian fight, which is one of the main scenes

from the movie, I think is all on one page. No,

it's on... Yeah, it's a little more. Dane's right,

it's about two and a half. The fight with the

Russians? No, I'm talking about the final confrontation.

Russian, I'm not sure. That was like two or three

pages. Like, that was the limit for any kind

of real scene. Two to three pages and then move

the fuck on. It just feels like they had just

a completely incomplete version of the, well

that was a confusing sentence, anyway it just

feels like they had an incomplete version of

the script to go off of and yeah they had a description

of a couple scenes and then that's about it with

no real way to tie it together. and it's everything

is just so massively abridged to Yeah, and I

really don't want to blame Peter Milligan the

writer here I felt like I really feel like I

didn't do too much research into this guy's opinion

of the work or even if he has one but I feel

like this was a guy caught between a rock and

a hard place like he took the project and he's

looking at this screenplay done by three different

guys one of them who is not contractually I did

it to it and it's like fuck this thing's kind

of a mess I mean this the one thing that was

interesting about this book is you actually see

like Certain scenes in the Punisher movie that

simply were not filmed like they did plan on

doing a part Where Frank Castle's in Iraq and

you get to see like what he was doing there.

They decided that's not the budget We're not

gonna do that. Well see they actually did do

that, but it's not a theatrical version It's

in the extended cut DVD. They did it animatically

though that's what I mean actually film it but

they did an animatic of it and that's and see

this is like I honestly I have to go back and

watch the movie after we record this because

I don't remember the theater I remember the extended

cut I remember starting with this the animatic

I don't remember how the theatrical does the

theatrical cut start at the docks yes yeah okay

okay yeah uh... let me ask you because it's been

a while since i saw the extended cut did he have

that black friend jimmy in that yes yes i i remember

that yeah because what the the difference between

theatrical cut the extended cut is they never

explain or they never go into detail about jimmy

they do you know They just offhand put it as,

oh, Jimmy is the one that turned him in. The

extended cut actually shows you the animatic

of Jimmy saving his life, and then later that

comes back into play when he makes Jimmy kill

himself. Yeah, yeah, okay. All right. They cut

a lot of that in the theatrical, and that's the

one I've seen the most. Yeah. I like the art,

but once we actually get past the Otto Krieg

stuff and we actually get Frank, he looked like...

I know I complained about this a while ago, but

looking at IDW's Star Trek number 21, which is

After Darkness, the epilogue to the Into Darkness

film. This is going to be a weird tangent. No,

it's not. It's not even going to be a tangent.

It's basically from film to adaptation. The way

they drew the Star Trek characters from Into

Darkness in the book, it... Doesn't look real

and it doesn't look like Chris Pine should look

it doesn't look like Zachary Quinto should look

it's it's over stylized and it's the same thing

here with with Frank he doesn't Doesn't resemble

Jane at all. No not at all No, I thought it looks

somewhat like their actual actor is Howard saying

yeah I thought you know, they they chubbed up

that guy's face just like John Travolta I thought

that was a nice touch they tried But I didn't

recognize any of these characters. In fact, we're

all the money That's where all the money for

the film went so they wanted to get it right

in the comic. Yeah, exactly It was just half

that money. It was just Travolta's catering bill

Don't forget sneaking the cabana boys in and

oh, sorry No, no, I mean they do I mean it's

like one of those not even a fucking secret anymore

things but I guess we won't talk about it in

Hollywood like God Travolta just Just go to the

Philippines and just fucking have a nice time.

Holy shit But in terms of the adaptation, I don't

have a lot to say about it because I don't have

a lot of good stuff to say about it. You're better

off to watch the movie. This doesn't add anything

to the experience. See like a comic adaptation

of the film and there's something there that

kind of adds to the experience Even if the adaptation

is very poor There's usually at least a little

bit or you get inside the character's head a

little more or something like that This just

has nothing to recommend it. I just I don't have

a lot Well, I agree with that. Let's change our

frame of mind for just one second here let's

let's view this from the lens of Let's say they're

getting ready to do Punisher now. And let's think

about this as like the first issue of a rebooted

Punisher. I think from that standpoint, through

that lens, this is okay. It's barely okay. It's

barely okay. It utterly fails as a movie adaptation.

It's a viewed from a different lens. It's okay.

The art is serviceable It does have its problems.

I'm not gonna say that but I've certainly seen

a lot worse how we're taken. Um, excuse me Yeah,

and the whole thing like specifically like when

we get to the scene about that the family reunion,

right in the movie The boat scenes in the family

reunion scenes were and I know in a comic book

you probably can't do this that well And they

don't actually do it very well But there were

multiple cuts in the film where it shows you

The boat and it's just the boat driving with

like barely any music It's just the sound effects

of being on the water and then they and they

show the reunion and different people doing different

things and they show the book It's gotten more

tension. It has no tension here. It's just like

broom of both Doc yay, let's go kill his entire

family just because the wife wants us to um Yeah,

it's just like hey go do kill the whole family.

Okay, and That's all the time time to send an

assassin at him because he took my money threw

my money out my building Okay, and oh man, I

can't believe he killed the russian. This is

that I don't know how it's possible like These

made -up fucking characters in a comic sounded

like they were phoning it in, like they were

in some shit movie. How's that possible? They're

not real! And yet they, like, they somehow gain

sentience and know they're in a shit comic. I

don't - I gotta say, can you guys, for an episode,

just - Dane, can you just read the comic aloud?

That was extremely enjoyable. I guess. I don't

wanna, like, rip -track this fucking thing. I

think I would hate to listen to you just read

out the comic like that. It's just like, uh,

via Condeo's castle, go with God. God's gonna

sit this one out. Okay, okay, next scene, we

good? We could yeah, God's gonna sit this one

out there fucking do it like Bobby say did Bobby

I know again I'm sorry to say and listeners are

probably like, oh, they didn't do their research

Oh, they didn't watch the movie before they read

the adaptation again. I saw the movie about a

week ago So I'm good with any question. I'm the

co -host of a Punisher podcast. So Did Bobby

actually ever say anything to Frank on the docks

in the film? Do you mean like the original scene

or okay? Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry I'm thinking of

later on during the sort of montage where the

Punisher's blowing shit up finally Oh, no, no,

well, they do have an exchange there, but no,

I meant the earlier one where it's fucking twins

not Bobby. I mean John the The brother. The brother

that Dee didn't kill yet. Yeah, see, I could

have... Because this whole scene... Frank Castle,

my mother and father send their regards. Really?

Seriously? I don't remember them saying anything

in the movie. Dane, could I get your read on

that, please? What do you mean? Because they

did the whole... No, I just want to hear you

read that line again in the way you were doing

it before. That was the most entertaining thing

of this so far. Oh, let me just see here. I want

you to do voice acting. Okay, because they...

Okay, here we go. It's right in the beginning

here, so let me just scroll through. This time

they're not blanks. Because they bang. And then,

so that's the end of that. And throwing the lighter.

Kaboom! Oh no! Seriously, why does the writer

of this book insist, because going... From the

you know, the kaboom. Where's the kaboom? There

was supposed to be a giant kaboom insert more

of the marching clip here. Hey, can we bring

up the real? Weirdness of the dialogue and by

that I mean I'll just start with the most obvious

thing From my count and I might be wrong because

man, I sure didn't go over this with a fine -tooth

comb this ain't for it, but There was zero swearing

in these three issues Yeah, see this was based

on a fucking rated -r movie now I'm not saying

you need to swear 24 -7, but in a rated -r crime

vigilante movie Yeah, there's there's swearing

dude to be fair like famously the movie itself

was only rated -r when they inserted like the

one topless scene because originally it also

achieved a PG and then Marvel said You know desperately

said like oh, we need this rated -r quick insert

some boobs Yeah, a similar thing happened with

expendables, uh, you know Like they just digitally

put in more blood or something and I get that

they they make those decisions at the last minute

and you can actually watch the 2004 punch maybe

go Yeah, you could tell they were definitely

settling for PG -13 and a lot of stuff But they

still did a good job with it. And then then they

probably went. Oh, by the way, it's rated R.

Fuck really now I honestly can't remember this

to does the comic adaptation though does it have

the comics code because if so There's a reason

why they couldn't have any of the swearing. No,

no Like leave down Nothing like that. Not even

a craps because even in comics code authority

You could still say crap and I don't give a damn.

Oh my god Like it it's it's that's another thing

that makes it so soulless is that it's just I'm

going to kill you I will get revenge I think

like the naughtiest this thing ever gets is that

they almost go verbatim with the Howard st. Taking

his wife down to the ghetto and it's just like

yeah this place used to have I Met you three

blocks from here. This place used to have color

and now there's only horrors You'll fit right

in and here's one other thing I'll fucking say

one thing that this comic goes wait like diverges

and it diverges in a couple like arbitrary ways

that I don't really care for but Howard Saint

drops his fucking wife off in this fucking Miami

ghetto and leaves her to be basically be a rape

slave to Latino gang members in the fucking movie

That's not what happened in the movie. In the

movie, she got a train up her ass. Yeah, he just,

didn't he just throw up? Well, to be fair, she

sort of does in this then, too. Oh my God! See,

I'm not saying my line about what might - what

it's in being part of it yet let's laugh let's

live with this one's misfortune well the other

the other thing i don't like about the adaptation

is it's not faithful to the film at all because

the toros never did anything with his wife and

then mike is like hey baby come over here yeah

the toros are just these kind of mirecures like

you fucking up saint where's my mom yeah That's

really all they are. Yeah, and this is just like

I I could actually see why Like I think what

happened is that this guy got dealt like peter

milligan was given some early in development

journeys This is the basic thing just do it and

they and then like other people read the script

go like Wait, did Howard Saint literally just,

like, sell his wife off into slavery? Like, I

think we could do something a little bit more

Shakespearean than that, and just have him kill

her. But they kept that in the comic, and so

this is just, like, some shitty, like, surviving

part of the movie. And when I kind of get it

and I kind of don't get it, why the hell was

this released? March 31st, 2004, when the film

wasn't even out until April 16th? That's what

I'm saying! We have to build up the buzz. Yeah,

the buzz, but it's... That doesn't prove, I mean...

Worst buzz ever. Yeah. I'm like Danes. Nah, I

told you about something I did three weeks ago.

Okay, I know you guys probably a little... Being

uneducated, being high doesn't last that long.

For three fucking weeks. But the other thing

who I gotta go back and look at the front page

cuz I don't even have Ryan run down the staff

on this but Inks, okay. Yeah, whoever the pencil

and the anchor are they don't know how to draw

piercings for crap cuz Dave looks like he's got

pimples all over his fucking face. Yeah, I I

noticed that too when I was reading this even

on the click. Okay the page where where Jones

says I'm late for work, night guys, which is

also from the film, but if you look at his face

on that page, he looks like he's got fucking

acne. Half the time he looks like some asshole

shoved his face in the sidewalk and just didn't

let up. And that shit is still stuck in his face.

That's how bad it is. And here's another thing,

here's another weird Fucking compromise like

you can tell they had some of the actors down

like okay Howard Howard st. He's gonna be fucking

Travolta and then well, who's Frank Castle? uh

fucking just draw Frank Castle, but then you

look at the roommates and that's it's fucking

weird because they have woman as the waitress

from the movie then Natty Bumpo is fucking Natty

Bumpo from the comics with the mustache and just

looks like a shittier version of him and then

Dave is just some guy with piercings. He's either

- Or at me. Yeah. And the other thing I don't

like is that when Frank captures Mickey, in the

comic they show the blowtorch, but then they

cut to the torals, they don't even show the joke

line of - Oh, hey, I'm actually torching a steak

while touching you with a popsicle stick. Yeah,

like that was the funniest part of that. You

know, you know, because we don't know until obviously

Frank shows them. Obviously, Mickey doesn't know

the entire time, but the audience didn't know

until they actually showed it. But it's like,

oh, shit, he's going to basically burn this guy

unless he talks. And it just cuts all of that

out. That's in his whole plan. Okay, can I go

back to the roommates real quick? Sorry, Mike.

It's just two panels long for this comic to show

that punchline God, but yeah, go ahead man. But

yeah speaking to what the roommates look like

Spacker Dave looks like David Spade Joan looks

like Renee Zellweger and Mr. Bumbo in no offense

to today, but it kind of looks like Dane's dad

again It's like copied in comics all the time.

Yeah, you know, there's a Steve Dillon mafia

Don I was and Jake brought that up one time like

dude, that's that's your dad and I looked at

him for what and there was like this five seconds

of science like a holy fuck that is like that

but how dare you know this guy looks like if

John Goodman had a mustache and just a really

Or maybe like John Candy. No, that's who he looks

like. John Candy. Yeah, John Candy. We need to

end this. I'm dying over here. You'll be alright.

You'll be alright. We're almost done. I keep

having to shut my mic off because I'm laughing

hysterically. That's the point. That's why we

love tearing into shit and tearing it apart.

uh... the whole plan okay in the movie it's so

much better here it's just a confusing mess of

panels i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this i'm

gonna do this i'm gonna go back and do this but

that's what i was saying from the beginning like

it's basically the same thing because you have

this fucking macavelian traffic ticket bull crap

but like you get it in two pages instead of what

an hour in the movie that may actually be an

improvement No, I know. Yeah, it's just everything

just reeks of being sort of rushed and it's the

same Pitfall that does befall a lot of like movie

video game adaptations actually, that's sort

of the funny thing here if you want to compare

it to the Xbox slash ps2 PC title the Punisher

the game that thq made around the same time that

in a lot of ways It follows the movie a lot more

faithfully than this. I mean, it's meant to sort

of a follow up to the film, but in many ways

it follows it a lot more faithfully than this

adaptation does. And well, I think the point

that THQ was making with that was that they just

were allowed to do their own thing and kind of

like as a sequel to the movie. And I always feel

those are the best kinds of what do you call

it? What a video game adaptation? Yeah, whatever

like you're not tied down to what the movie is

because a lot of those developers Don't know

what the fucking movie is. Maybe they get some

weird outline script and a couple from with video

game movies okay, like where you're doing you

like kind of like you said the license video

game Adaptation or whatever. Yeah life is if

you do it pretty much scene by scene from the

movie. It's kind of cool to play as the character,

but then you just kind of grow bored with it.

But if they try to do something cool and innovative,

sort of like what they did with enter the matrix,

then people are just pissed because they can't

play Neo. So you're really between like a rock

and a hard place. And that, and that to some

extent maybe explains this. I mean, maybe they

were trying to do something a little different

if they did have a final version of the script,

but Either way it just sort of everything just

kind of combined to form a crap sandwich Oh,

definitely, you know, and now that I'm now that

I'm looking at this again and and not actually

reading the dialogue but the whole panel with

The scene basically where Joan says don't let

your memories kill you the whole panel in the

book where he's walking away and she's following

him and she and they're at his door and Why am

I if he didn't have a skull on his black t -shirt,

why am I envisioning Jerry Maguire? Those two

characters because when she says don't let your

memories kill you it reminds me of Renee Zellweger.

Exactly. I'm going with you, Jerry. Exactly.

Oh my god. This is so bad. I loved how she said

it in the comic too. Yeah. Yeah. but yeah it's

just oh and the the end scene um oh no not the

end scene the the the the is it the bank scene

where the hell are oh no we're to the point where

uh bumbo and all them get Messed up. No, um,

you know, then we get the scene. That's from

the end from the Extended cut wait, can we go

back to where you're talking about where they

interrogate? Spack or Dave? Yeah, so if you go

back, this is how rushed this is right like the

previous Page or something like that. You that's

when Frank pushes the Russian off the roof, right?

Yeah Yeah, then you get a page with Mickey Duca,

but who the fuck cares? All right Then you've

got the soldiers right outside the apartment.

Yeah, and then like Then all of a sudden they

interrogate Spacker Dave and it's like when did

they do that on panel like? Yeah, and where the

fuck is Frank like yeah, exactly Hide from that

shit. Yeah Yeah, that it's just one clusterfuck

after another trying trying to keep all this

stuff together and Man, then they even tried

the um No, they don't even have the that that

great speech where it was like to have peace

prepare for war They don't even have that no

they do They they have it at the end. Oh, yeah,

I see it now. They snuck it in Oh, man, but they

do it during the dumbest times. Oh, and of course,

they have to fit in the whole Hey, my conciliary

is gay, but he also sent my wife thing like that

Worked out like say like whether you like that

part or not and the fucking fire hydrants, you

know This comic does it kind of just whole glides

over the whole fucking with fire That's right.

That's what I said Yeah All right, we've wasted

way too much time Yeah, we're pretty much on

the last panel here. I didn't know guns sounded

like buddhas will know that's a famous they like

that about about about about about what they

are they even reference it in welcome back frank

but are the one thing i'll just say about this

is that this comic was i was horrible but it

was fascinating because to me it shows what it's

like when you use copy a copy that was already

the copy of a document and then that the copy

you get Is like some real shitty grainy version

of it Like that's what you get is like a copy

of a copy of a copy of a copy Yeah Sorry, that's

try to work a fight club reference in there.

Yeah, uh good job, dude But like that's what

you get with this comic because it's it's from

a movie This is based on a movie that's based

on three different major comic books and three

different guys and You just run through all these

ideas and then you have to translate it into

a movie and that had its own problems And then

you have to translate that movie into a comic

book before everyone's even on board And just

seeing what happens with that. It's it's a mess

and I actually wrote I really I know that people

are gonna be like, oh Really, but I'm gonna say

I cannot believe Marvel actually allowed this

to come out Even as some kind of shitty cash

into her on movie adaptation where it doesn't

even count. It doesn't surprise me Marvel put

this out If they thought it would sell they would

put the punter they'll put they'll put like a

Bradstreet cover on 24 blank pages and put it

out $3 .99. It's it's still better than the onslaught

Saga. You see this is what I'm saying Well onslaught

I can't even remember that but Marvel at least

has something like no the we need to at least

this to have like in -house production style

it needs to meet our some kinds of fucking production

standards and No, I read I opened up some of

these pages now. I don't own It anymore. I think

I probably threw it out, but the Punisher adaptation

I was looking at this at a freaking bookstore

and Like even some of the pages were off kilter

And it still came out. It's just it was fucking

mind -blowing It's just it's just bad. So We're

gonna head back to the 70s after this Check out

the merchant now. You may or may not. I trust

you. Alright, alright. Look, uh... I don't know

what you're into, but... Amazing Spider -Man

number 129, mint condition. Worth a thousand

bucks. Comic book. No, it's not just a comic

book. This is the first appearance of the Punisher.

This is the Holy Grail of comic books. You call

it comic books? It's so cute. Cute it's very

rugged and manly All right, so as mr. O'Donnell

told us in that clip the amazing spider -man

issue number 129 the very first appearance of

the Punisher Why is this the holy grail of comic

books? Well, it's because it can see the cinnamon

and cinnamon toast crunch I mean, it's really

not I mean, come on. We all know the holy grail

of comic books is action comics number one first

of all I mean one day it's in 129. It's good.

It's a good spider -man comic. It's in that Run

with who was writing it at the time. I want to

say Jerry Conway Jerry Conway. Yeah, I mean that

that was an amazing run I mean, he's obviously

a character that Mean was extremely popular back

in the chromium age, but is definitely, you know

still has his cult following now As to its worth,

I mean it it's it still holds its value at about

a thousand dollars for a Near mint copy though.

I mean I bought my copy for 80 bucks, but it's

gonna say I got mine for a whole lot less than

a grand Yeah, well mine's also in Like good to

VG so I mean not even the the best of copies

which is weird because VG actually means in bad

condition Yeah, that's kind of weird though side

tangent. I lost my virginity while watching coyote

ugly good times good times Time to skip to the

rating when i first read this you know in preparation

for this this little segment here why is there

a fully green goblin in this called the jackal

that made no sense to me and why is the clone

saga silver armor spider -man being shot at that

made no sense and again it just goes to my point

that i'm so glad i'm just a statue Know I know

it's just a statue, but I didn't know that at

the time when I first looked at it Well, actually

the jackal it turns out to be doesn't it turn

out to be one of Peters professors. Yeah Probably

was probably dr. Carter's not him. It's another

one of his professor He was a medical professional

and he actually was in love with um with Gwen

Stacy He had the hots for even as like a 45 year

old man. He's like, yeah Who wasn't in love with

Gwen Stacy due to like constant retconning? Yeah,

but I remember the jackal really hates spider

-man because jackal blames spider -man for Gwen

Stacy dying And so jackal fucks with spider -man

every couple years sort of like how How saber

tooth on Logan's birthday will just beat the

shit out of him That's something what the jackals

kind of similar in that context to be fair. That's

how I celebrate my birthday. So Okay, then very

quickly before we cut to the the the ads and

then the closing of the show I'm so glad. I'm

not one of these people that were was alive back

then when this, like, young when this came out,

because... The more I read older comics, the

more I cannot stand the art style and the color.

The art is not that bad. It's not, I'm not saying

the art is bad. It's more so the coloring, it's

just... The background colors is what I, it's

not really the coloring of the Spider -Man costume

or the Punisher, I mean, the Punisher costume

looks just like 94. Also realize you would have

absolutely no context to compare it to because

the current generation didn't exist and Therefore

you wouldn't find anything wrong with it That's

probably true. The arts are very serviceful.

I mean, I'm a huge fan of the markers We have

too much Photoshop going on these days. Yes,

but Like I don't know like yes some of the plot

is convoluted, but the target audience is a lot

different, too Mean no. Yeah. No, I Understand

a little to an eight -year -old guy. Oh fuck

the jackals hiding in the chimney while Punisher

fights spider -man. This is deep Deep bloom of

mind. Yeah mind blown When you're a good guy

with a gun shooting at spider -man, what's he

gonna do? Is he gonna get out of this doozy?

Alright, so we're gonna go to a quick ad break

and then we'll come back with final thoughts

and ratings after this Hello pop culture connoisseurs

Do you gain a dark sense of peace when the guilty

are punished by a violent vigilante? If so, maybe

you should get some therapy and then subscribe

to punish your body count then that's best podcast

concerning all things Frank Castle I'm Dane Lamont.

My co -host Jake Williams and I cover the good,

the bad, and the hilarious. I'm the punisher

of comics, movies, and news. Do you like chummy

co -host banter? We got that. You need to fucking

pay attention to the fucking movie. You want

kickass guest interviews? How about Mike Barron

and Tom James? No, I like a little bit of grit

in my cigars. You want carefully considered in

-depth analysis? I mean, yeah, just one best

picture at the Oscars yesterday. I mean, it's

no Terminator. Good luck with that. Punish your

body count. Twice a month on GeekCast Radio.

all right we are back and we are going to rates

the two thousand four adaptation of the punisher

two thousand four film we're not gonna rate uh...

amazing one twenty nine we're just gonna read

the story based off the film i get to give it

a half star which on our scale is completely

painful it was painful for me to want to read

through this i actually will enjoy and love the

movie more because this version is so shitty

Fair enough Ryan I'm going with the star and

a half which is terrible The reason for this

is I feel bad for everybody that worked on it

I'm actually like giving pity points at this

point. It's just not very good. It's it's not

completely Unredeemable, but it's just not very

good Ryan Ryan is true fact if you look under

pet Olif's Wikipedia page or his website you

will find and he was the guy that drew this basically

He I think someone did finishing work, but he

was the one that drew this you will find Nothing

about his comic on any of his shit. He just disregards

it What about you Dane? What do you rate it?

I give it one chubby Travolta face out of five

It was it was funny at first I thought oh, this

is really interesting. It's going to be something

I'm going to learn the different angles of the

movie and what was cut and what and what was

different and then I'm just reading this and

I and I just start getting numb to this because

It because it kind of did do that shit It kind

of did go like here were some things we were

Experiencing with in the movie and then it was

like but we have no fucking life or effort that

we're going to add to it. This and we're just

going to burn through 77 pages and try and fit

a hundred and twenty four minute movie into this

with no with with like no care to the comic book

format. So fuck your format. Fuck your whole

production of this. Fuck the guy that released

this. So technically you're fucking the publisher

Dan Buckley. Yeah. Yeah, fuck Dan Buckley Fuck

Lee am I right? When you publish this I can you

please email Dan Buckley and No No, no, no, no

I do not need Marvel coming after me for no Dan

Dan. I'll fight you come at me, bro We'll finish

this one way or another Jake what's your rating

fucking kill you? I think I'm gonna have to agree

with Ryan. I'm gonna give it 1 .5 And I'm only

giving it that I probably would give it an unreadable

if I'm only looking at it as a comic adaptation,

but if I kind of get away from that. It has one

or two positives, but it still fails as a general

story. So 1 .5 seems about the best to rate it

at. All right. So that's it for this episode

here in Punisher Month. Ryan, where can the folks

interact with you if they want to? Why would

they want to? You always make that joke. Just

give me information. Damn it. All right. Let's

see on Twitter at night beat or well, that's

really the only place I'm all that active and

even then not too much. Yes. What about you,

Jake? Well, I think I'll just give the info for

both me and Dane. Sure. You can find us on Facebook.

Just search Punisher body count and you can find

our Punisher podcast on iTunes or Punisher body

count dot com. Alright, let's go review something

way worse now. Yeah. Sarcasm at its finest, ladies

and gentlemen. Make your great escape into comics.

We will catch you next time. Prepare for war.

Number two, Frank Castle is dead. He died with

his family. Number three, in certain extreme

situations, the law is inadequate. In order to

shame its inadequacy, it is necessary to act

outside the law. To pursue natural justice. This

is not vengeance. Revenge is not a valid motive,

it's an emotional response. No, not vengeance.

Punishment. The Pole Bag, GCRN's comic book review

podcast. There are several ways to get in touch

with us and leave feedback for the show. You

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next time, unleash the geek in you.