Survivor, The Key, The Catalyst, and End of the Line

Sentinel, online. Now loading the Beast Unleashed

podcast. We're gonna turn Cybertron into a giant

nutcase! The Beast Unleashed podcast. This episode

of the Beast Unleashed podcast features Stephen

C. Phillips Mike Blanchard and Michael Wilson

Hello and welcome to the world's first ever Beast

Wars Beast Machines review podcast This is the

Beast Unleashed podcast brought to you by the

Geekcast Radio Network I am your host Steve J

and Mike and I'm joined by Pecan Court Michael.

Hello. Hey, how's it going? It's going and Steve

Megatron. Hello Today we'll be reviewing the

final four episodes of Beast Machines season

one So Steve, what are you been up to? um Little

bit of this a little bit of that mostly in the

Beast Wars front, but Yeah, that's top secret

we can't talk about that well not really top

secret It's just something you don't want to

talk about. It's something that shouldn't exist,

but whatever. It's a fan production. That's all

I'll leave. If you want more information, just

check out my Twitter or Facebook. It's strong

enough for a man, but made for a woman's secret.

God, I never thought we would have a deodorant

riff on this show. Nobody expects the deodorant

riff. Well, we are talking about Mike here, so...

You know what? I think we're gonna record episode

25 when Steve's on vacation and he has no say.

You know what would be hilarious about it? Deleted!

No, I don't think so. Deleted! No, don't think

so. I'm pretty sure. No. I think deleted's in

its future if I'm not in it. No. Oh, shit. Yeah,

by the time this airs, Steve will actually be

on vacation for about five days, so we're recording

this one a little bit early. Let's see, what

have you been up to, Michael? Working a lot.

Actually, work's been picking up lately. But

in in my spare time, I found a Rodimus miner

at Toys R Us and I was all excited I was giddy

like a schoolgirl and I danced a little pirouette

on my way to the checkout aisle So I was kind

of excited about that. Yeah, that's a visual

none of us need Well, you know, it's it's an

allegory. It's not actually what I did You can

visualize it that way if you like It was more

like, MINE! And then as I trounced all the way

up to the checkout, I was like, MINE! MINE! And

trying to bite people as they tried to steal

it from me. But yeah, I was kind of very guarded

with it because it was the only one on the shelf.

And you know, it's like this whole wall full

of animated Cybertron. ratchet and then one,

you know, little Rodimus Miner there, buried

underneath all of them, like it was hidden back

there. So once I found it, I pulled it out and

scurried up to the front. I mean, I was really

happy to have it, because again, last one, I

thought I was kind of lucky in that regard. But,

yep, excited, happy, haven't opened it yet. I

just have it on my desk. I like to look at it.

You know what this means, don't you? Huh. It

means you need to have another opening day, epic

ending, where you place it with the music. You

know, the dun dun dun. It hasn't gotten to that

point yet. Actually, you know, as far as opening

my toys go, I've been pretty good about opening

them all. I've got... I think three Target exclusives

here, my masterpiece Grimlock, and one other

Toys R Us exclusive set that I haven't opened

yet. They're sitting in a pile. But for the most

part, everything else has been opened as soon

as I get it. And then I open some other older

stuff, and it's all going up on the shelves.

So I've done a pretty good job of not having

to have another opening day. After I sliced my

thumb open last time, I'm trying to avoid that.

You have to see the video. Yeah You know what's

funny about that knife? That knife should have

your name engraved on it with openings Openings

in the letters kind of like the whole blade thing

when the blood filled up in the oh Yeah, and

then in the blade movies when he's blood filled

up in the first movie to power the machine or

whatever the hell it was Yeah, yeah I can imagine

your blood from your finger going through the

L, and the E, and the A, and the H. As cool as

that would be, it's not... Yeah, I don't think

it works that way. I don't think the engraving

is all that deep either, but it would be kind

of cool. I have been doing a lot of non -transformer

stuff lately. Boo. Asshat. Interrupting cow.

Boo. Okay then, I've been collecting, I started

my Masters of the Universe Classics collection.

I've got Adora, Prince Adam, King Randoor, Orko,

Skeletor, Hordak, and I've got Stratos on the

way. I also picked up Superman Batman Apocalypse,

so that was a very, very good film. What else,

what else? Came up with the schedule for tap,

so that's that's that's on the way next year

at some point for us Other than that not much

really I've been well actually I've been watching

a whole lot of the new TV season I watched no

ordinary family, which is the new Michael chickless

Julie Benz series It basically combines the Incredibles

with smallville type effects it's the same guy

that created true crawling John Hartman Felden

John oh what's his name John Harmon John Feldman

Harmon or John Harmon Feldman I don't know it's

I don't know I'll look it up later but it's pretty

good it basically what it is is they're a family

that's very dysfunctional Michael chickless plays

Jim Powell he's the He's a police sketch artist.

His wife is like the super genius scientist and

she's constantly doing her career thing. And

he tries to use one of her career stops in Brazil

as a family vacation. They get caught in a lightning

storm up in a plane. They crash into the water.

And something, some sort of phosphorus or other,

something in the water gives them superpowers.

And each of them, the parents and the two kids,

they have a son and a daughter. Each of them

get the power that they're actually weak at in

life. So, uh, uh, Chickless's character thinks

he's, he's not a strong person, so he gets super

strength. Uh, the wife gets super speed, so she

can be everywhere and do everything really fast.

The daughter gets telekinesis, or not telekinesis,

telepathy. As you can read, people's thoughts

on the son, who apparently has a learning disability

in school, ends up pulling a Shia LaBeouf and

being super genius, and he sees symbols in algebra.

Lame. It's, no, it's a good show. Lame. Shut

up. You don't even see it. I see lame people.

No, it does sound pretty good, though. It's a

very good show. It's nice to see Chickless outside

of the Vic Mackie roll and outside of the thing,

but Hulk smash when he's doing because he can

pretty much jump from building to building. It's

almost like Superman leap tall buildings in a

single bound, but he can't really like it's just

like super jumping basically. And I'm like, oh,

he's actually jumping like the thing would, but

he doesn't have the suit on anymore. Is he invulnerable

as well as super strong? He can catch bullets

in his hands. I think he is invulnerable as well

as super strength, but I'm not really sure. Right

now, as of this recording, the only episode I've

seen so far is the pilot. It just started on

September 8th. But does water do him in? No.

You may not know what reference I'm trying to

make here, but... I do, yeah. Yeah. But, yeah,

that's what I was mostly trying for. Does he

wear a poncho? No. Can he judge bad people? Oh,

God. So I've been watching that. I watched the

season premiere of Big Bang Theory. I tried watching

Detroit 187 on ABC, but I just couldn't get into

that one. So I've been watching a lot of the

new TV season. I watched the new episode, or

the 10th season premiere for Smallville. It was

okay. So that's what I've been up to. Did you

catch Stargate Universe on Tuesday? No, because

that's when No Ordinary Family is on. I can't

believe they actually put it on Tuesday because

I was actually watching an interview with the

Producers he was showing people around the set

and they actually revealed the They finally revealed

the bridge. They haven't found the bridge yet.

So they're finally gonna find the bridge on this

Starship they're on and the producer was showing

off the bridge to The press right and it's a

gorgeous set. It's really nice and he said well

You know, we're hoping that we're gonna get a

lot of use out of this new set And you know next

season if we get a next season he's like that

I mentioned we're on Tuesdays now Hmm that sucks

Yeah, well, you know he knows that the first

thing I thought was holy crap They moved it from

Friday to Tuesday, which to me means that sci

-fi channel isn't really interested in uh...

you know keeping their out there frightened our

audience for me sci -fi friday's the staple for

years and now that the really good shows are

no longer on friday what what does that mean

oh you know what it means you can you know why

stargate universe got pushed from sci -fi friday

to sci -fi tuesday you you don't know you haven't

heard this so yeah i i haven't watched on friday

right now that's right you haven't you don't

follow wrestling smackdown moves to I don't think

I've been this aggravated with sci -fi since

they cancelled Farscape. Yeah, I didn't make

the connection that you were saying as far as

Sci -Fi Friday and as far as the show moving

to Tuesdays, and I'm like, why would they...

Oh, right, that's right. SmackDown is on Sci

-Fi now from 8 to 10 p .m. on Fridays. 8 to 10

p .m. Eastern Time. Yeah, so Universe is on Tuesday

nights now. I'm glad that I've got a dual DVR

because Chrissy tapes The Biggest Loser on Tuesdays.

Nah. Yeah. So I would be completely SOL if I

didn't have the double DVR. Yeah, you would be.

Yeah, I'd be an unhappy camper. Yes. When I was,

we're not getting into the episodes just yet,

but when I was watching the episodes back, and

I've noticed this since the reformatting, when

Optimus got reformatted, his back is, his upper

back is all white. He's a silverback. Okay, silverback,

whiteback, whatever. Okay. And the first thing

I thought of today when I was watching him back,

I'm like, wait, where have I seen that before?

Really hairy old guys? Huh? Really hairy old

guys? No. His design was inspired by Rafiki from

The Lion King. Rafiki? That's a fun name to say.

It is, although you're full of crap. I put the

link in the Skype chat here to a picture of Rafiki.

Now granted, Rafiki's white stuff is on the front

of him, but... Rafiki is a baboon. It's not nearly

the same as a... Well, okay, it's not the same

species, but it's the same... Have you ever seen

a silverback ape? I don't think so, but... They

have a silverback. Okay, that's fine. I'm just

saying it reminded me of that. That would be

the rare Mexican ape. Oh, Jesus Christ. There

you go. Yo caro taco bell. Well, I'm glad I'm

not the only one getting hate mail. Oh, you want

to talk about hate mail. We haven't released

this yet, so I can go ahead and say this, because

I'm pretty sure this episode will be out before.

when i'm going to talk about uh... kevin and

i over at uh... also so over behind the voice

actors dot com recorded episode seventy four

of tuned cast which is popeye and we're going

to get a lot of hate mail for that episode i

guarantee you uh... the same and we didn't have

garbage can uh... of popeye not really popeye

himself just everybody else justice Because if

you look at it, Bluto or Brutus or whatever you

want to call him, he's a kidnapping future potential

rapist. Okay, yeah, I'll buy that. And that's

how the cookie crumbles, children. Let's get

into some episodes. of suffering your temporary

setbacks. Every moment I waste on your ineffectual

treatment, the organics grow stronger! Emmons,

please. Need I remind you that the point of these

treatments is to eliminate your beastly contamination?

We could avoid this disappointment by simply

transplanting your spark into a purely robotic

body. Leaving my spark vulnerable? Not even for

an instant. There is one other possibility. The

maximal unit, Nightscream. Somehow he was able

to generate a beast mode on a planet devoid of

organic life. I believe if we replicate that

process, then reverse it, the result will be

a purely machine body. Lamentably, my ongoing

directive to purge you of your beast -mervewood

has prevented me from studying this anomalous

creature more closely. Your directive is hereby

amended. and retrieve the flying rodent. He's

a kick! Down. In. And I want him alive! First

up, today is Survivor. Megatron sends his generals

and diagnostic drone into the catacombs to kidnap

Nightscream and learn the secret behind his beast

mode. Nightscream is forced to relive a painful

memory from his past. Ah, whatever, you dumb

fucking baseball bat. Useless excuse for a baseball

bat. Okay. You don't like that character, I guess.

Neither do you so I don't like anybody likes

that character. It's like Painful memories from

my past. It's like yeah, uncle Wally and came

in smelling of booze and haven't been the same

sense That's why I became one I wonder if he's

a corked baseball bat With wings Flying winged

baseball bats from Looney Tunes. Oh Yeah, no

So yeah, this is the episode Michael where Megatron

says he won't have his spark of vulnerable even

for an instant Yes, yes And then my notes jump

to when they have already captured night scream

and The diagnostic drone is asking how he does

his regenerative things He's like he's like he

like grabs a hold of the drone like really gently

like like he's gonna fondle the fucking thing

And he goes there's really nothing to it here.

Let me show you blah Whatever the hell he does

with his little buck tooth wire thingy sends

out of his mouth didn't actually show that i

thought he did like a sonic scream at point blank

no i don't think he did a sonic scream i think

he did the teeth thing but the whole thing exploded

how could that not have been a sonic scream it

could have been i'm not saying i'm pretty sure

it was a scream okay all right he's not like

nuzzling him close to give him a big kiss yeah

buddy thought about it he's like we're really

close in here i could totally make out with this

drone um alone again naturally yeah I I know

a song that's from but I I don't remember it

being alone again no but the naturally is the

is is the song cue that I was trying to make

yeah Rod Stewart I don't know that's the wrong

song might be oh I'm sorry were you happier when

my vocabulary was just Tank or smash I was surprised

that The same guy didn't do the voice for tank

or and the voice for Rhinox Richard Newman Yeah,

I think it was I don't know. Maybe it was because

they wanted to have two different character voices

for it like Tank or is his own character Before

before Rhinox's memories get get resurfaced I

just didn't want it alluding to the fact that

it was going to be the same character. That's

true. You can usually tell if somebody sounds

pretty much like that, you know, because there's

still some hint that it's them. Yeah, well the

only thing that they jump back and forth, Michael

was saying, the only time they jump back and

forth is this first couple episodes. After this

episode, he is just Rhinox. Well, there's the

part where he supposedly dies. Right. You know,

at that point he reverts back to Tankor. No,

he doesn't. The overloading, that's in his own

voice. No, he says it in Tankor's voice because

when Megatron is reviewing the tapes... Yeah,

when Megatron is reviewing the tapes, it sounds

just like Tankor. But in the actual... Well,

it would have to when Megatron is reviewing the

tape, because Megatron doesn't know that Rhinox

is resurfaced. See what I'm saying? But in the

actual part where it happens when the Maximals

are there... It's Rhinox's voice the drone disguised

the voice to be tank or for mega technically

Megatron allowed it to happen Well, but we don't

we're not to that point yet though, so we don't

really know We do though, but we don't though,

but we do stop trying to be like glade and spoiling

the audience's reveals here, I'm sorry, but If

you haven't watched it by now... I know, but

still, because it's such an epic reveal as far

as who these three characters really are. And

he pulls off the cloak and... What's Elvis doing

under there? I think I would have preferred Elvis.

I would have preferred Elvis to one of them.

Alfred, what are you doing under that big body

armor? I wrote this in all caps, and then I wrote

it in lower caps. I was like, trust me, there

are always alternatives. And this is to when

Rhinox is gonna reprogram the drone, and the

drone's like, ooh, ah! It's just full of inappropriate...

Sounds, yeah. I was trying to figure out sounds,

visuals. Oh, it wasn't even visual because he's

like, it's almost like Megatron with the spark

extractor where he's like, I will take out your

spark. And with Rhinox, it's like, I'm going

to reprogram you right now. And then it kind

of goes dark and then you hear the drone going,

oh, oh, ow, ow, what the hell? I mean, say what

the hell, but that's me adding stuff in, but

yeah. Yeah. Ugh, you're grounded, Wing Ding.

At least Rattrap has some of his comedy coming

back. Yes, I did definitely miss that so far

in Beast Machines. Yeah. You can't run all the

time. Yeah, that's true. I like this scene where

Night Scream is just royally pissed and he's

getting ready to basically... uh sonic vibrate

jet storm and thrust into oblivion jetstorm's

like beats me kid but i'll be glad to put you

out of your misery and then oh oh no because

night scream is getting ready to scream and i

laughed my ass off because primal puts his hands

over his ears wow i thought that huh It's loud!

Yeah, it's loud. It's these kids and their music

nowadays. Oh, evay! You damn kids, get off my

lawn! That's right. And then my final note was,

the Oracle exists and thus will serve as the

key to both the downfall of Optimus and Megatron.

Yes. Michael, what do you have for Survivor?

Few things. In the beginning you've got the diagnostic

drone, you know, basically talking to Megatron,

and behind him is the diagram, I want to say

the wireframe, it's the green wireframe rotating

on the view screen of the Grand Mall, the Grand

Mal Mall, which is the flying head. of Megatron

uh but the cool thing though is that in a separate

screen right next to it is a robot mode that

we never actually seen i don't think i don't

think that the giant head transforms in the show

yes it does it does it doesn't it doesn't transform

into a robot but it transforms because i was

shocked all to hell the dark side does it i don't

remember that yeah technically it they made it

to resemble the dark side It'll be interesting

to see that again, but yeah, I was kind of excited

to see that One of the view screens had the robot

mode for the grand mall on it, and it didn't

look like Megatron Yeah, it looked really cool.

It would have been slightly akin to You know

like an Omega Supreme Unicron Big -ass floating

thingy transforming into a giant robot. I have

the toy of that and it's actually quite impressive

for a tiny toy What the? Grand mall. Oh They

call it What the hell is that thing called? I

want to say blast punch Megatron, but that's

not it. It's a mega volt Yeah, mega volt Megatron.

Yeah, it's okay I've seen pictures where you

can take off the spider legs and it becomes a

head for Fort Max. That's because they used it

in the RID timeline, is that? Like Megafranks

somehow transferred over timelines and so did

Primal and they ended up in the RID universe?

Well, it was an RID toy, yeah. Well, they had

Beast Machines versions of it too, it's just

they weren't in the US. Oh. Yeah, so I've got

the RAD one and I've got the repaint that was

the Toy was name of that place It was an exclusive

figure There was a blue one and then there was

a green one that was an exclusive. I have no

idea Well, I'm gonna get to butcher it that toy

and the other Megatron trying to make my perfect

beast machines Megatron nice the giant head He

was ahead of his time. He should have stopped

while he was ahead. They brought the split screens

back when Megatron was calling out his generals.

He was like, just throw us tank or and it was

showing each one, you know, in a split screen

cut in the thirds with a different color background,

which I thought was neat. Yeah, that was quite

impressive. Yeah, I dig that. So again, with

the the g2 cybercube effect no tankor you know

he calls them all up and says here's your orders

and tankor just kind of sits there staring at

him like he's just about ready to tell him to

piss off uh -huh yeah your turn's coming and

then he kind of you know stays in character just

long enough to get the hell out of there yep

But yeah, so something that struck me as odd

was that When tank or shows up he Basically all

the Maxwell's are knocked out right and and you

know, they say oh, you know, let's get out of

here They didn't bother To just kill the Maximals

while they were there Wouldn't that have made

more sense? I Guess they're all knocked out.

I guess but it would be an awfully short show

and we wouldn't have had a second season I'm

just saying It would have made everything a lot

easier just hey, they're all knocked out. Let's

kill them all Well, we're here, you know just

hang out So instead of gotta catch them all,

it's gotta kill them all? Gotta kill them all

off. Put it to the Pokemon team. That's the way

to do it. Oh, jeez. Yeah, another thing that

bothered me about Night Scream is that, you know,

it's one thing when he's flying in robot mode,

but he kind of, I want to say elongates his foot

wings out and surfs. Does it look to you like

you're surfing? I thought it was bad. I didn't

like it when in Beast Wars Optimus Primal was

surfing. See, I love surfing Optimus Primal.

That was cool. But Night Scream... Surfing Night

Scream? No, Surfing Night Scream is the dumbest

thing in this show. because technically he's

not surfing it looks like he's surfing but his

wings are flapping and they're just showing him

like a like a side pose like he's he's air surfing

but there's no actual surfboard yeah well his

like I said is the wings attached to his feet

are kind of elongated out you see them flapping

they don't flap they're straight no they flap

I've seen them flap well no but I'm saying in

this particular episode he's gliding He's gliding,

he's surfing on these feet wings. And I've seen

him where he's standing up in mid -air and it

looks like his wings on his feet are flapping,

but here he's not so much flapping at all, he's

surfing on his feet. And that's why I said, it

looks to you like he's surfing, it looks to me

like he was surfing. And it just aggravated me

because I don't like the whole idea of bats surfing

in the air. Bat surfers. Bat surfer. This is

my bat surfboard. And I dig the tank -ox. Or

the Rhine -nor. Rhine core. I prefer tank -ox.

Rhine core combiners. Gotta smash them all. Tank

ox is like I'm taking it all I'm going for the

brass ring bitches. I I dig it. I was really

Again, really hoping that he was gonna take it

all the way and then I was really pulling for

him in the next couple of episodes Yeah, alas

not We'll talk about that later You know One

of the things that kind of I'm sorry to cut you

off, but I just I noticed this song One of the

things that kind of pisses me off was when the

whole exchange between Rattrap and Nightscream

about... Nightscream chastises them for losing

the Beast Wars and Rattrap's like, I had friends

in that war. Wouldn't you think he would reference

Silverbolt as well as every other Beast character

that... every other Maximal character that died

in Beast Wars? I mean... I don't know, that's

who I thought he was referencing, but according

to the wiki... Silverbolt isn't even listed as

one of his friends. Well, in case you forgot,

he liked to piss off Silverbolt for fun. His

only real friends were pretty much, you know,

out of the group that died were Dinobot and somewhat

Depth Charge. He was friends with Tigatron. Yeah,

he was friends with Tigatron. Not as much as

the other two. Well, true. I mean, yeah. Damn

near everybody died. Jetstorm reminds us what

we're missing. 3D. He comes out and says, here

comes number one in 3D. And I'm thinking, heck

yeah, Jetstorm. That's what you need. You need

3D. Fuck 3D. No, they're going back and up converting

all that stuff. And you know what's easiest to

up convert? CGI Wow, it wouldn't be that hard

to be honest. It's 3d If they had all well, I

don't know I'm thinking if they had all the all

the old animation still backed up They could

just go back and let the computer do it fuck

3d There's a lot of scenes in here that would

really benefit from 3d it would be it would be

really cool Yeah Megatron turning into a dragon

and shooting you from the screen That would be

awesome. Yeah Even some of the lamer stuff would

still be cool Yeah Anyway Then there's a scene

where you basically have this this huge rock

that you know a hole you got a hole and everyone

flies into it and then a rock caves in and Covers

it up. So you haven't met you have I think it's

Jet Storm and I want to say Thrust down in this

hole with Optimus and Night Scream when they

find the bones. Right. And there's this giant

rock that falls and kind of entombs them under

the ground. And I thought, wow, that's a big

rock. Yeah, I thought we stopped dropping rocks

on people's heads at this point Oh, no, there's

a couple of rock instances in these in these

episodes that we're gonna talk about today They

don't necessarily squish, but there's rocks Yeah,

lastly I was kind of aggravated with the whole

planting of the seed I have a seed and we're

going to plant it here and It's like, yeah, that's

a great idea. Plant the seed underground where

there's no light and there's no water. Good job.

You guys got the real green thumb here. Well,

I didn't realize what was coming next, which

was, you know, right. But I mean, if you're secret

of the news, hey, hey, hey, watch it. But if

you're looking at it. from a perspective of what's

on Cybertron's surface to what's down in the

catacombs. There's dirt and everything in the

catacombs. There's no dirt on Cybertron's surface

yet. Right. It's almost like they just built

cities upon cities upon cities until finally

all you get is this, you know, this metal. Technological

perfection. Something like that. Yeah. It would

have sounded better if Steve said it, but I didn't

warn him ahead of time. Perfection. Exactly.

But then way at the bottom, you don't have, well,

you don't have water you've got. Oh Jesus. Why

am I reminded of the genie in Aladdin? Big phenomenal

cosmic cities on top, itty bitty ooey gooey organic

core in the middle. Mmm, juicy. That's exactly

what it was. And a little bit of Cheerios and

we have ourselves a stew. Oh god. Cheerios stew.

It just wasn't very pretty. Cheerios stew is

what makes the heart grow stronger. But that's

all I got. Okay, what about you Steve? Alrighty.

Yes as for the episode I wasn't thrilled with

night scream, but Again this episode gave you

more reasons to hate his guts Mostly for his

snide remarks towards people that have suffered

far more than this little crying bitching teenager

He's angsty yes, and he's around the time that

they had the gothic movement I think he he was

like a wannabe one and he's like where and then

everybody's supposed to feel bad for him yet

Everybody's like shut up kid. We know more than

you we've suffered more if you deal with Megatron

this long I think not shut your face and He's

even get emo hair. I know that's I don't know

that's I'm not getting there, but I might be

the most annoying part That in the long fingernails

he you know he just had him done I got my nails

did. Yeah, I like where Rat Trap tells him, you

know, you tend to be a little out of the loop

when you're on a distant planet fighting the

Beast Wars, name dropping the old show and then

Night Screams made a smart ass and he's like,

and you did a fine job winning it. Oh, I forgot

you fumbled the ball at the very last nanoclick.

Yeah, that just made me want to smack Night Scream,

like reach into the television and like. Wrangle

his neck and then have rat trap put a belly bomb

in his mouth and blows that off And then shit

down his neck. Yeah, and then have have rat trap

say here We'll submit a trade make tank or nice

and give him back to us and you can have this

little shithead I Can see rat trap doing a deal

like that here. Give us silver ball back and

take this piece of crap That's a trade of swindlesque

proportions Here, you can have Batman for breakfast.

I'm Batman. He's like, I'm Batman, and then Judd

Storm's like, I'll show you a Batman! And I can

breathe in space. Yes. He doesn't have Batmase.

He's got the Bat -Screen. The Bat Anti -Shark

Repellent. That's even better but um, yeah, I

Like we're It's kind of funny that they they

purposely make black ragney and jet storm have

a lot of dialogue kind of alluding to the fact

that uh There's something going on between them.

They don't quite understand Kind of a Almost

the way a couple would argue If you get my drift

where she says step into my parlors to the spider

to the fly boy And then jetstorms like missed

me missed me now. You gotta kiss me. Yeah And

that's what really pisses me off about this.

She's she is so Like on thrusts nuts And and

then they did serve with them for a while well

Well, they are they are the same color green

No, she's pink and thrust is pink too Not what's

underneath She took off some armor and there's

a little bit green in there. That's that's wrong.

Um Yeah, anyways, uh, let's play stump the blanchard

shut up the thing about the whole black arachnia

going after just just constantly being on thrusts

nuts thinking he's silverbolt and then which

will this will go come up later they have this

on this this content and i can only but they

have this whole thing with her and night screen

church that night screen shit she wants to experience

that's just a storm Oh, Jesus Christ, let's not

go there. What else you got, Steve? Alrighty.

Um, yes, uh, I think it's funny that the diagnostic

drone mentioned something to Megatron, uh, basically

telling him that, you know, the reason why we

can't get rid of your DNA contamination is because

you actually want to be a beast. Wha -ha! Meaning,

you know, Megatron might be just... Wanting it

gone because or You know, it's In any case, I

think you know to some extent he knows that the

beast mode yields great power But he doesn't

want it at the same time I Think that if he could

find himself You know a purely technological

mode that was way more powerful kind of like

a giant floating head over the city then he would

be more, you know, accepting of that. Or if he

could have turned retrofitted his beast form

into like a robo beast without the DNA and, you

know, living tissue for the most part and made

it completely robotic without going insane in

the process. Oh, God, I just had a thought again.

So Megatron is a robeast from Voltron. Um, no.

Oh. No, but if you think about it... I try not

to think about it. He's a transforming Robeast.

That's part of your problem. You think too much.

Tudor might be able to be a Robeast. No. He's

not big enough or menacing enough. So keep going

with your thoughts there, Steve. But yeah, for

the most part, I think that, you know, Megatron

still wants to be a beast. I still like the the

random resurgences of his pissed -off beast form

Such as this episode where he shoots his diagnostic

drone right in the face With a big fire blast

Yeah, that never hurts him. No, I don't understand

why it doesn't hurt him, but he can blow up like

monitors and hurt primal with it, but you know

The diagnostic drone must be immune. He's like

your beast form cannot damage me I'm the little

eyeball with the gangly fingers I like the diagnostic

drone. I think it's actually cool looking and

he's got a lot of personality Yeah, and ever

since they came up with these they've kind of

made random appearances and transformers comics

and yeah media and fiction ever since I Would

have liked to have actually seen a toy of this

Yeah, diagnostic drone is cool. I like the diagnostic

drone accessory. Yeah, well, I mean How about

this make a masterpiece Megatron where he actually

transforms correctly and has the right colors

from beast machines? And he comes with a diagnostic

drone There's no way in hell that they would

make a beast machines masterpiece Megatron. They

they can barely get masterpiece figures for For

other G1 characters that should get Masterpiece

figures. Make a Beasterpiece. Nah, I can see,

like, a Leader Class figure in that with, uh,

let's say the 20th anniversary of Peace Wars.

When it rolls around. It won't happen, but I

wish it would. Nah, it won't happen, but, yeah.

It's coming up, it's, it's... Six years away.

I would like to see Leader Class of... the Transmetal

forms of Primal and Megatron bundled together,

the Optimal with the Dragon Megatron, Primal

from Beast Machines with Megatron's cloak form

from Beast Machines. With no feet hanging out

at the fucking bottom. Yeah, that toy I plan

to, when I'm redoing it, plan to rectify that

issue. So anything else on this episode here,

Survivor, I think we're on still? I would have

to say that although it's not extremely important,

it kind of is important because it alludes to

the three -parter coming after this, even with

part of Rhinox's discovery from the Oracle. Yeah,

that's something that we're going to be bringing

up in the next couple of episodes. Hence why

I didn't say anything further. So yes, I guess

that basically sums it up. Not one of my favorites,

but it's building up to the point where good

episodes are on the way. See, I can't view any

of Beast Machines episodes as individual episodes

because to me it's one long 26 episode story.

Oh yeah, unlike Beast Wars where we had throwaways

here or there, this is... Beast Wars had more

of a G1 vibe to it with throwaways where Beast

Machines is... Every episode has some essential

cog that pieces together to form the main picture.

Right. 26 episodes of running away. no and on

that note we're moving on oh god michael get

that well yeah yeah michael get this i don't

know steve will i ran so far away i know what

you're talking about talk about a flock of seagulls

we're moving on robot history data tracks refer

to a powerful spheroid computer called Vector

Sigma. Can you believe the article to be this?

Vector Sigma? The data tracks also mention a

key to Vector Sigma which could turn organics

into techno matter. Optimus and Megatron have

no idea of its power. Up next is the key. Tankor

uncovers an ancient weapon with the power to

turn organic material into cybernetic metal.

Nightscreen gets hit by the weapon and the Maximals

race against time to save his stupid ass from

going offline. And no, the Rhino description

did not say stupid ass. I put that in there.

That's not what it says. It's funny I my first

of instant jungle And Yeah, it's when the the

It's when optimus gets the the the little bit

of organic core up and it fertilizes the seed.

Now, this is something I had to think about and

yeah, I know me thinking is very dangerous. Go

into a corner and start raping Barney Megatron.

I will feed you to the dinosaurs once and for

all until this episode ends. Yes. Unless we use

someone with no spark at all. Now I have a question.

When Rhinox or Tanknox or Rhinecore or whatever

the fuck you want to call him. General Rhinecore.

Whatever you want to call him. When he throws

diagnostic drone into the oracle. Did that do

something to the diagnostic drone? Because later,

I was confused in later episodes when they fed

Primal the false vision of the plasma energy

chamber. Because all along, up to the point where

Tankor throws diagnostic drone into the Oracle,

where it led to believe that it is the actual

Oracle that's talking to Optimus. And after this

point, I'm wondering if the Oracle Visions Optimus

gets after this episode, if it's all shit that

Rhinox is feeding him, or if it's the actual

Oracle computer. I want to say up until the point

where Rhinox is, you know, dead, yeah, that the

Visions are fed from Rhinox. I haven't watched

too much in the way of Season 2 yet, so I'm not

entirely sure. What are the visions he gets after

this? There was a scene, and I don't remember

what the vision was, but there was a scene that

the diagnostic drone says, oh, planting that

vision in his head took a lot of my energy or

a lot of my battery power or something. Yeah.

No, the vision of the plasma chamber was fake.

And then after that, every time Optimus tries

to access the oracle, it says, sorry, access

denied. Right, exactly, and what I'm wondering

is, is it because of this here where... Yeah,

that's exactly what it's from, yeah. Rhinox is

hacked. Well, Rhinox has managed to get his diagnostic

drone in there to hack the oracle. Okay, that's

what I thought. My next note is... So Tankor

has the same plan G1 Megatron did, using the

key to Vector Sigma to make Techno Matter. But

wait! I thought it only had that effect on Earth,

not Cybertron. Because if you go back to G1 and

the key to Vector Sigma, Alpha Trion said that

it has an adversely different effect on Earth

versus Cybertron. I honestly don't remember.

There was an episode, oh, the Keta Vector Sigma

2 -parter, when the aerial bots and the combaticons

are built. Yeah. Not the combaticons, the Stuntacons.

Alpha Trion says the Keta Vector Sigma allows

them access to... the vector Sigma computer on

Cybertron and it allows them to do some sort

of energy thing. I don't know. It's something

to do with the survival of Cybertron. But he

says on Earth it will have a different effect.

It will turn organic matter into techno matter

or tech matter. It'll turn it into technology.

It'll turn it into metal, basically. I remember

this episode very vividly. So Rhinox has the

exact same plan, but the question is I thought

that shit only happened on Earth, not Cybertron.

I think at that point... I was gonna say I still

think it could still happen regardless. I was

gonna say I think that that makes sense as an

argument until you get into the fact that, oh,

Cybertron has an organic core. You know, maybe

it would act differently on Cybertron if everything

was... technical if everything was metal like

it was supposed to be but now that you've kind

of retconned in this organic core well now we

have something to turn into technology yeah yeah

yeah yeah buddy yeah uh... and i'm still going

so um... uh... okay i thought you were done because

you know anything no i i had to mute for a moment

but anyway steel cut this out or something skid

you want to change your entry places and get

in the middle of that no way no thanks yeah no

thanks This is the smartest thing he's said all

day. Yeah, I think I got my mouth shut for once.

Because I'm a stupid ass kid. I really like Tankor's

ruse. Overloading! Yeah, that was quite nice.

It's like he's all schizophrenic. My what? Your

ruse. Your clever attempt to deceive me. Yes.

and I love when they go to Megatron's new Cybertropolis

and they just like and they just jump through

the window of his face and he's like I love that

there's an awful lot of deception by via cons

decepticon ass hats It's a note about tank or

Deceiving everybody. Oh Yes, and I was just you

know going back to you know, do you want to continuity

because technically via cons Predacons, they're

all decepticons Yeah, for the most part and of

course now that I hold the key to a new Cybertron

It's my last note so I guess Steve can go next

Well to start this one off I like how That tank

or basically found vector Sigma and Got the key

I like how he's got his own little agenda going

on where he's you know Basically plotting to

give Megatron a weapon of grand proportions after

he's tested, of course, on Night Scream. Thank

God. I think this is my favorite part of Night

Scream. He was blue, he was robotic, and he was

nuts. That was kind of cool. I think that's where

Hezra kind of dropped the ball here, is that

we really need the blue repaints. I think Hasbro

needed to do a lot of repaints of certain beast

figures in certain forms that they didn't do.

Of course Hasbro seems to drop the ball on figures

people actually would want to buy and they create

these random ugly ass paint schemes that no one

wants to buy. Or they'll re -release the same

figure 12 times and have a different paint scheme

for it and none of them were in the show. Right.

And so, yeah, I think they drop that ball quite

often. Yeah, there were, yeah, especially later

on when you get into the newer generals that

come out where it's like, why did they release

that toy in completely different colors? I mean,

if you want, you can get a black obsidian from

Japan for 50 bucks, but, you know, who wants

to do that? Don't really feel like importing

toys from Japan that Really, I feel should have

been made here back when it was all fresh and

new in our minds, you know But in any case I

liked You know, they're like, oh blackner black

arachnia. You can be the babysitter You've been

the maximal the shortest amount of time you can

you can be shafted with this. Well, it's not

even that she's the only female so Oh, but she's

supposed to feel nice towards him. What would

Silverbolt do? Regardless of that, I like how

Megatron had his little hologram thingy that

was insanely cool. He's watching over you, and

he's got his magical skyscrapers. They float

above you. you up in your building, and I will

drop you in the middle of the Cybertropolis.

And when you fall, you will die. I was actually

thinking of it. I want primal pizza. Can I flatten

him? Spread my monkey toppings across Cybertron

and feed it to my Veacons. Okay, moving on. sure

if we needed to go there but thanks yes I thought

it was quite tasteful another slice anyone a

slice I'll have to talk about your friendly average

deep -dish pizza yeah I forget neither one of

you guys have seen the rocky horror picture show

yet how about cold hard slack I like where Rattrap

finds the magical goop from the ground. The goop

from the ground. That stuff looks insanely weird.

It's multicolored TMNT ooze. Yeah. And I think

it's quite retarded. To be honest. I think...

Who's the turtle? Primal. He's Splinter. Turtle,

turtle. He's Splinter and he's got his four turtles

with him. That's pretty much it. I mean, he is

the Zen Master. He's like, I will sit here and

summon the... Fuck this scene. I will summon

the Oracle and I will find out our mission for

Cybertron. And then Cheetor is like, he's like

Leonardo, he's like, fuck this slag, let's get

to work. Like Leonardo. Night Trap's like Donatello,

Night Scream's like fricking... Raphael no, he's

like Michelangelo. I'm funny You guys so did

you say night scream was like Michelangelo more

so because what? I'm gonna kick your ass night.

Scream is not like Michelangelo He's like the

hell is wrong with you. I think he struck a noise

Okay, he's like bebop Black is like that that

missing link that nobody could find She's like

the April O 'Neil of the group only she's a part

of them Oh Jesus Christ, um, but yes my TMNT

conversion of transformers I like where tanker

argues with primal calling primal a fool He says

primals like I'm transformed and he says you're

a fool Primal you and the Maxwell's and even

Megatron himself are destined to failure all

organics will fall before me Which you know Megatron's

got backups in place he's not as dumb as he was

in the Beast Wars Hey, hey, hey watch it. It's

already happened once before I think I think

I remember what happened last time Yeah, Megatron

is not that dumb. Yeah. Well, I mean purposely

left Captain Rhinox in in place Under a shell

program so that Rhinox could unearth or on Cybertron

The key it's a calculated risk, right? Yes Megatron's

always like to gamble. This is just another example

He's like, I wonder what would happen if I put

Maximals in my generals and then Crabble them

like eggs and see what happens Well what I thought

was odd that is that uh You know, he corrupts

Rhinox's spark to the point where he's evil even

when he does emerge and yet silverbolt When he

finally comes back around and you know, he's

going to uh, we don't he doesn't come back evil

Oh well He feels bad for being evil, but he doesn't

come back evil. His standback citizen thing has

been tarnished. Yeah, well, I mean, you know,

once you've gone on a killing rampage for so

long, then you kind of feel bad about that. You

kind of when you when you go through an alignment

shift like that, that's so deep. Once you go

dark, you lose your spark. Kinda. Look at Rhinox.

Well, Rhinox, he's just plain evil. To the point

where... He's mad scientist evil. He's like Dr.

Pinkbender. Exactly. When he's talking, it's

like, you know, that doesn't sound like Rhinox

very much. It sounds like Rhinox, but it's not

like, hey, how's it going? You know, let's go

sniff some flowers. It's like... Well, that's

just dandy. Yeah, he's more like, you know, I'm

gonna kill everything that moves and wah -hah

-hah! Well, you know, the thing is about... Rhinox,

Tankor, whatever you want to call them in this

series about bringing Rhinox back. Tankox. Yeah,

Tankox and Rhincor. The thing about him is that

this is pretty much... Honestly, it's Megatron

getting his Dark Designs wish. I mean, I know

I've said that before, but I mean, really, this

is Dark Designs Rhinox, only on a planetary level.

So I mean we've kind of already seen a glimpse

of it and now we're seeing you know four or five

episodes of it At least until he finally goes

offline and rejoins the matrix of course like

we said before the whole ruse of him going offline

now But you know by the end of the season He's

really dead Yeah, and there's actually another

I don't know if I want to get into that now,

but there's a separate storyline that appeared

in fiction. It was a book. And I've got it around

here somewhere. Oh, here it is. It's Transformers

Legends. Oh, I've got that book. Yeah, it's a

good book. But, you know, when I first read it,

I wasn't a fan of the Beast Wars. So that particular

story didn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

But there's a story in there by Bob Skeer. and

it talks about how when Megatron's spark leaves

his body, and I believe that's to go and have

at the Grand Mall, but when it leaves his body

to float around on its own for a bit, it's joined

by Rhinox's spark. And Rhinox basically takes

him through, you know, through, I don't want

to say like the eight layers of hell, but you

know, something like that. It's not Dante's inferno.

Yeah, it's Dante's Divine comedy, so he's not

he's not being toured through hell. He's being

toured through heaven essentially and You know

he basically Takes it to mean that you know well.

I really should be a god You know at that point

that that supposedly that's the point in the

storyline where he decides He wants to merge

with the all spark and become a god which is

where you see him at the end of season 2 right

But interesting story. I'm actually gonna have

to go back and read that book again now that

I'm a fan of You know Beast Wars and Beast Machines,

and I know a little bit more about it, but Yeah,

well it's like 12 chapters, and when I read it.

I was only interested really in the G1 stories

So what you're basically saying is podcasting

forced you into fandom more No, not so much,

but I mean like I said I was into Beast Wars

but Wasn't so much into I should say I was in

the Beast Machines But not so much in the Beast

Wars and that's the point where I would understand

what was going on in some of these stories Right,

right. Yeah, so it's like I mean it was years

before I went back and watched Beast Wars Yeah

in full and even then how I had to go back and

rewatch them You know just to refresh myself

on conversations on this podcast yes what else

we have for the key Steve um I guess you can

go on I I don't really have that much more I

I am more so sat and enjoyed the Rhinox going

and stealing the key and and watching the flying

skyscrapers Now how do we feel about the key

in this show? Because I remember the key in G1,

it was an actual physical key. Like a key to

a door. Whereas this one, it eventually becomes

a physical key, but it starts off as random computer

code. I like it. I'm not quite sure how I like

it as like a cannon type thing, but. I don't

know, it's it's. It's another one of those little

plot device things that they have to use. They

don't use the matrix in this show. No, we use

Vector Sigma in the Oracle. The matrix several

times. They don't use the physical matrix, but.

they make it because it's all this spiritual

religious stuff they make the matrix like the

oracle is the guiding light of the matrix and

the matrix has has all my children and there's

only one life to live here yeah no they use them

interchangeably i think i find that bothersome

yeah and even though you kind of half chuckled

i don't think steve got my reference there no

All those that I just named are soap operas.

Yeah, you wouldn't know that unless you spent

all your time sitting at home watching TV. Shut

up, I grew up with my grandmother watching soap

operas, you asshat. You poor thing. Mike's a

loser. It was soap operas in Wheel of Fortune

and Jeopardy, dammit. Oh god. I remember when

I was young and I would stay home from school

because I'd be sick or something. Yeah, but you're

older than us by a lot of years. So I mean, there's

a big difference. You're a kid that grew up in

the 70s. I was a kid that grew up in the 80s.

Well, you'd be surprised at basically how all

the soap operas are the same. Well, yeah. I mean,

there's still one life to live and... Oh, hell,

what's the other one? My mom used to watch, uh...

I Have to Live, General Crossbow. As the World

Turns or something. Yeah. Yeah, Young Press List.

Uh, The Bold and the Beautiful. I can list them

all, unfortunately. You are truly sad. You are

the weakest link. Goodbye. So, um... Yeah, uh,

about the key. Tankor, as much as I like Tankox,

it bothers me that he moves his legs when he

walks. That is kind of funny. Yeah, you may not

notice this because you didn't realize that Nightscream

was surfing in the other episode, but in this

episode his legs are moving, he's like walking,

but he still has the tank treads. So I mean I

kind of liked it better when he would just kind

of like his feet were The bottom half of his

legs were tank treads, and he would just kind

of trundle along I liked it better that way then

now he's kind of walking Yeah, I guess that's

all right. I know in the toy you can do it either

way you can make his feet You can make his legs

tank treads, or you can stand him up right? You

know either way however way you like it But I

think I prefer it just with the treads. That's

kind of neat But he has become you know, very

impatient in his evilness You know, like I said,

I kind of like Rhinox being the happy -go -lucky

You know, I think I'm gonna hang out sniff some

flowers type of guy and here he's like You know,

god damn it drone move your ass, you know, you're

not doing it fast enough and you're pissing me

off and you know grabs his drone and just winds

up and tosses him into vector sigma uh yeah i

i you know it's yeah he's evil i understand it

i get it but you know at the same time it's like

i kind of want my old rhinox back yeah i you

know i yeah i agree i like rhinox from beast

wars he was He's a he's an all -around good guy

mystic type character, but he still had that

hard edge ass, especially when you have The episode

where he was using the bullhorn against Megatron

and he let out that that that feedback I love

that that that feedback was is so awesome. Yeah,

but the thing here is it's You have to further

the character somehow And while people may not

agree with the decision that skewered whoever

else or, you know, actually, it's probably Marv

Wolfman because he wrote the series Bible. People

may not agree with the direction of Rhinox, but

I think it makes it very interesting for his

character. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I, you know, like

I said, I think I would have been happier if

they would have been able to rescue Rhinox and

then had all that firepower on their side. But

I do like it I like that the plot twist what

I don't like is the fact that they cap it off.

It's at the end of season one And we'll get to

that but yeah, basically You know, it's not it's

not a three -way fight for very long Yeah, no,

it's not Rancor tank ox tank ox basically finds

the Oracle and You know chucks the diagnostic

drone into it and the diagnostic drone just kind

of floats around and says my god. It's full of

stars Does not say that No, that's it, you know

2001 reference. Oh my god, it's full of stars

He says something like this is incomprehensible.

Yeah, he does. It's yeah. Oh my god This is this

is incomprehensible. No one can you know figure

this out or you know something to that and something

to that effect? He's flying through there, and

he says my god. It's full of stars And you know

you guys if you haven't seen 2001 a space odyssey,

then you honestly have to give up your geek cred

right now. I Think I've seen it, but it's been

a while Yeah, I want to say that's the last line

of the movie. OK. Anyway, and then probably,

aside from HAL, I'm sorry, I can't do that, Dave.

Aside from HAL, that's probably the most parodied

line. Yeah. But anyway, so you've got the diagnostic

drone floating around, finding vector sigma inside

the matrix or inside the oracle, right? Why is

it that optimus has to commune with the oracle

he has to zen out and and you know meet it mind

to mind Whereas you know you can just Chuck any

old sparkless drone into it and get the same

information Well doesn't the oracle come to primal

you know come over to his house hang out have

a pizza Tell them in plain English without it

means instead of encrypt cryptic codes Well,

it's like cryptocode, but you know the fact of

the matter is it doesn't have to give him cryptic

visions You can just send a drone in and and

get whatever you want and have it beam directly

into your brain Using computer code. Let's see.

That's the difference between optimus and Megatron

Go back to when they originally tried to before

they found out it was Rhinox when they originally

tried to tame tank or and Optimus went through

his mind, whereas Megatron would just throw a

thousand drones at something. And that's the

other thing. Really, if you look at it, the Maximals,

throughout the entire Beast Wars beast machines,

they've always been outnumbered. Whether you

got Rhinox back in this show or not, you would

still be outnumbered by millions of jet and cycle

drones. So I mean it wouldn't have mattered.

So like I said before about the characterization

of Rhinox, it's very interesting what they did

with it. So, you know, granted they almost get

the whole band back together after we get Silverbolt,

but even if they got Rhinox back and Rhinox was

good again, you still have a million... cycle

drones and right after that once we get to season

two and Megatron pulls that other thing You have

a million of those drones. So you still have

the Maximals outnumbered no matter how You know

there is no maximal army whatsoever. Well, I

think you're missing the point I'm trying to

make here is that you know optimus communes with

the Oracle but Rhinox can just you know dial

in with a modem and connect to it And what I'm

getting at here ultimately is that I don't think

that Optimus would be so quick as to see the

Oracle as a deity if he realized that you can

just hack into it through your DSL and block

other people out of it. Because that's pretty

much what happens here. Rhinox logs in. with

his modem, like in War Games, and then he changes

his grade to an A and makes sure that no one

else can log in. Are you following me? Did the

War Games reference throw you off? Is that the

problem? No, I've seen that a long time ago.

Anyway, so that's where I'm getting to, is that

it just seems odd that Optimus would have to

commune with the Oracle. You know, especially

when Rattrap has that little tail thingy where

he can plug directly into pretty much any data

port. Right, but the thing of it is, is though,

that look at what they're trying to do. It's

a battle between nature and technology. So Optimus

is going all Zen, whereas Ryan Knox or Ryan Core

or whatever the fuck we're calling him. Yeah,

is going the technological route by just throwing

a drone at it. So, again, it's nature versus

technology. I mean, I see what you're saying.

Don't get me wrong, I do, but it's just nature

versus technology. Well, yeah. And then, yeah,

but I don't know. As cool as they make a sound,

Tankor dies. Or does he? Dun, dun, dun. Yeah,

really. Do it, Mike. No, you want to. Are we

uh, are we done with the key? No. No? Okay. Hell

no. Okay. I'm still going. I can go on forever.

Watch me, watch me now. And then he's going to

complain when it gets to 1am, folks. I know,

I'm gonna be crying three hours into this, but

you know, I really enjoy these episodes. I do

too! Yeah, I mean they're really good, you know.

minus the whole mushroom and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and I do complain, that's what

I do. Night Scream's reward for being the king

of suck, as well as being heroically suicidal,

is a painful plague. It's like syphilis, only

it turns you into metal. Night Scream's totally

metal. Unfortunate that it's not permanent. You

know, that was a Bill and Ted reference. Yeah,

I got that. Yeah. 69, dude! There's no 69 in

Transformers. Sure there is. Until next year.

Oh god. I like it when... when the the diagnostic

drone is Declaring tank or dead and he kind of

closes his his eyes Or his optic visor kind of

draws it down. So it's closed That was corny.

You kind of get this he's dead Jim Those corny

is all hell I Thought it was cool. I'm like,

yeah stupid. He's definitely dead now and then

they and then they draw a sheet over him I was

like, oh damn, now he's really dead. There's

nothing I can do for this one. His prostate got

the better of him. Damn it, Jim. I'm a doctor,

not a diagnostic drone. And then the whole Cybertropolis.

How big is Cybertropolis? Is it just like a little

town? Bigger than Megatron's ego? It's the all

the buildings are moving. Why not just run into

the building? It's like oh crap. This building

is about to crush me. I got an idea the door

why didn't he just Play a game of like I don't

know connect four and start Smashing buildings

next to each other until eventually all the Maximals

were crushed between them Well, that's what he

was trying to do, but all the buildings Oh, well,

he didn't do that until after they climbed inside,

I don't think. Oh, but he should have played

a big game of Tetris. That would have been awesome.

That would have been awesome if they would have

included the music. Reverse squiggly! Reverse

squiggly! I love that. You are a cruel and angry

god! God, I love that show. That is funny. Uh,

no, but anyway, so, yeah, so all these buildings

that are threatening to crush them, they don't

have any doors. They can't just open a door and

run inside. I realized they found a window. They

jumped in the window, which was kind of cool.

Wah! Yeah, I mean - You know what's a sad thing?

I'm going to have to find the Tetris God audio

so Steve can put it in between the final episode

and our outro. As a reminder to everyone about

all the fun we had because because nobody is

gonna get the Tetris God reference And I don't

want to go through the whole story of telling

people what it is It's funny. Yeah, it's it's

hilarious Yeah, you got to go online and just

do a Google search for Tetris gods. It's it's

really funny Yeah, so they all jump in this building

and they're all being shot at right by these

these drill drones and Optimus then rips this

big hunk of metal out of the floor and uses it

as a shield And I'm thinking, you know, he's

got that weird arm shield bubble thing that he

uses Why would he need a big hunk of metal for

a shield? But then Rattrap uses it as a ramp

Doing the evil Knievel off it and I thought that

was kind of cool. That was a nice bit of teamwork

Yeah Yeah, it is a nice bit of teamwork, but

his arm shield thingamajiggers his arm things

Yeah, they weren't gonna be able to repel all

of the blasts that were coming at him So and

he was trying to get to cheetor because he was

trying to save cheetor Yeah, I understand, but

it's like I think his arm shields would have

been fine. It didn't look like he was repelling

that much firepower It's a trap Yeah, and there

was a moon this time and the moon had like big

metal grooves across it and It's not like a big

round moon like we saw in the earlier episodes

of season one But it's not a unicorn head either

But it's still not quite, you know, it's still

kind of looks like I want to say like a Cybertronian

moon. It doesn't look like, you know, a Luna,

right? You know, but it has these weird, almost

like canals dug through it. It's almost like

it's scarred. That's what I thought it was. Oh,

like Unicron grabbed hold of it. Big Unicron

fingerprints smeared across the front of the

moon. Oh, I don't know. I just keep looking for,

you know, references to Unicron, and I'm just

not seeing it. You don't see it until Season

2, and it's not even Unicron. It's another kind

of Tron, but it's not Unicron. Well, we'll see.

I don't know. It's Megacron. Shut up, Steve.

I was just happy to see that, you know, the moon

didn't look like a moon moon. It wasn't just

like a ball of rock in the air. It was something

more Cybertronian. And lastly, the green goop

is, for lack of a better term, the anti -vector

sigma. I just zapped this thing with my death

ray key, and yet it's coming back to life because

the green goop gets on it. I'm just not happy

with that. I'm not happy with the green goop

being the end -all be -all. Ooh, look, we're

all saved now because of the green goop that

mysteriously comes out of the ground instead

of water. Or oil, for that matter, because you've

got all this fossilized remains that have been

there for millions of years. Where's the oil?

And the fact that, you know, if you took some

of this green goop back to Earth, you could end

world hunger. Horrible. Horrible. You know what

kind of pisses me off about them digging for

the organic goop stuff? If you look at Cybertron

and you look at them going into the sewers as

Rattrap would call them and then they go lower

and lower and lower Everybody remembers the Eggo

waffles commercials with the kid in the US digs

all the way to China for breakfast And it comes

up on the other side of the world. They keep

digging for this goop Aren't they gonna like

fall at the bottom of the planet? It doesn't

seem that big, I mean, you know, but it doesn't

seem like it'd be that deep either. It's weird

because in the first episode they make it seem

like, you know, three civilizations down, you

know, you've got like, I don't know, the metal

age and then... plastic age and then the stone

age and you hit bedrock and that's where you

find all the fossils and the goop you know it's

like that's an awful long way down to go and

friend barney fighting over cereal exactly barney

those are my cocoa puffs they're cocoa pebbles

shit i fucked that up barney exactly there go

my cocoa puffs pebbles Coco pebbles whatever

and join the voicemail. He's like tastes good.

He's like all right. Those are cocoa pebbles

Okay, okay, are we done with the key well well

I was getting to to something with the the goop

I'm not happy So much with the the way that the

fire looks right because it's it's like that

plasma it's it's like uh... it it kinda looks

more like flowing water than fire whereas now

you've got this green group that is supposed

to look like flowing water but looks more like

uh... you know it looks more like somebody colored

spots on on on a sheet of paper and it's kinda

like pulling the sheet of paper across the ground

you know i i don't know if you if you know i

noticed her yeah i don't know if you guys remember

doom The original doom game no, I don't but all

right well in doom you could you could get a

Flowing water, but it or like you know Acid usually

it was acid or fire or something But because

of the way the textures were I mean it was a

single texture that moved on a flat plane And

it would move at the same speed in the same direction,

no matter what. And if you suspended your disbelief

for a minute, it would kind of look like flowing

lava. And that's essentially what we have here.

Green lava. There's no ripples, there's no movements

in other directions, and there's no bunching

at the sides. There's no viscosity at all. It's

literally just a texture that's bordered by the

sides of the the stream, let's say, and they

just kind of pulled it across. Maybe with a little

bit, so, you know, make it attempt to look like

water. But for the most part, it's literally

just a single texture that is pulled across the

floor. And occasionally, you know, you'll see

a drop. It'll be like, you know, like a rain

drop, like a bloop. and it'll puddle out a little

bit. But for the most part, no, if they're showing

it flow, or if they're showing it splash or whatever,

it's literally just like, here's a circle, and

inside the circle is a different texture. And

I really don't like it. And it really becomes

evident later on, especially when they finally

drill down far enough where it makes the big

splash. Yeah, and it's kind of flowing around

it. It just looks really bad I'm not happy with

it I mean especially with the as good as they

did with the fire and again, you know It's not

fire as plasma kind of looks like flowing water,

but it looks like flowing water. It's it's neat

It's neat, but it's red and kind of angry looking

if they had done the same thing except made it

green It would looked awesome But instead you

get again, you've got doom water Uh -huh. Uh

-huh. I mean, what do you think of that? Do you

grieve? Do you go, ooh? I don't know. I... You're

full of crap, Wilson. I know it is. No, it's

not what I was gonna say. That's something Steve

would say, but that's not something I was gonna

say. As long as he says it as Megatron, you know.

You're full of crap, Wilson. I want that as my

ringtone. The problem I have with the goop, it

looks like some, and of course you don't see

this person, but it looks like somebody is under

the ground sucking it down with a straw. That's

what she said. I know what you're talking about.

Seriously, if you look when it evaporates, it

looks like somebody is sucking it through a straw.

Well, I can kind of understand if you know the

ground is thirsty and the ground is you know

sucking in sucking the You know absorbing the

goop. Let's say into the ground. Yeah, so I'll

buy that I mean, you know, no, I I buy it I'm

not saying that I don't buy it. I think that

It looks funny. Yeah, I just think it looks weird

and it's You got anything else for the key or

can we move on? No, that's pretty much it for

the key. Thank God. I know, I've been droning

on forever. But no, like I said, that's not what

she would say. We still have two episodes left,

holy shit. But again, I really like these episodes.

Yeah, I agree. I just had a lot of input, that's

all. Okay, so we are moving on. Nice guy. Little

dim. Your glorious army will shine less brightly

without his guiding. Can I have his tank drones?

I was actually looking for clues to his recent

whereabouts before his inconvenient demise. Eminence,

I humbly submit the results of my investigation.

It appears Tank Corps somehow stumbled onto an

extraordinary find. The legendary key to Vector

Sigma. Tankor attempted to use the key as a weapon.

Its power was far too great for his internal

system. Uncharacteristically ambitious for such

a simple -minded vessel. Well, you can turn the

loss of this VH -CON to your advantage. It is

a simple matter to download the key program into

your drones to deploy its powerful beam on a

planetary level. On a planetary level. The key

will destroy any and all organic matter. Cybertron

cannot last be purged. I shall prepare the process

immediately. Wait. What effect will this key

have on my own beast mode? After so many thwarted

attempts it will finally be eliminated Driving

you mad until you go offline forever leaving

Cybertron under my control Driving you mad. No

no don't say that mad live away from your madding

beast mode And you have proof that my spark will

not be adversely affected in the process? Not

as such. I strongly suggest you provide some.

But time is of the essence, my liege. The organics

are rapidly gaining ground. The organics are

rapidly gaining ground. I have the reason to

believe the Maximals are now introducing plant

life to Cybertron. You appear different of late.

I assure you, I... I am operating at full capacity.

Arm these droids with the key and test it on

the spark of a Maximal. But... the Maximals?

Pose no threat to me with shrubbery. He's not

taking the bait! Next up is The Catalyst. Rattrap

uncovers a catalyst program that accelerates

the growth of Cybertron's newfound plant life.

Meanwhile, Blackarachnia discovers the truth

about Thrust's spark. It was cool, shut up. Megatron,

tell me about Tankor. Can I have his tank drones

then? That's what Jetstorm said. That's about

it. Don't make me put my foot in your ass, Jetstorm,

because I'll do it. I'll do it right here. I'll

do it twice. You can see my foot under my cape.

See? Look, here it is. Oh god, don't start. That's

a big dragon foot dangling under the cape. Look

what I got over here. It's a big foot for your

ass. I'll show you my dragon. My lucky dragon's

foot. It's not very lucky for the dragon. He's

not taking the bait. Well, no Megatron's a genius.

Don't you know that Rhinox? Megatron caused him

to have his resurgence with His old personality.

Well tank knocks is the only person other than

Megatron to break a monitor in this show as far

as This is another Rat Trap. It's one of those

things where... One of the reasons why I like

these last four episodes so much is because Rat

Trap gets a lot more comedy. Egg Squeeze Me?

I love that. Because she tells him, thrust his

silverbolt, and he's like, fine, bring him back

in one piece. Time for another rousing round

of digging for maximals a new weight their energy

signatures are halfway across the planet I Don't

see no signal He's leading them on a merry chase

yes, talk about a talk about Gary the gander

Yeah, it's just a wild goose chase Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Gee, where have you been? So, are

you finally getting it now? It caught, yeah.

Okay. It's something that I should catch. Steve

won't catch it because he doesn't watch that

show. Crickets, crickets. So, Rattrap has no

real weapons in robot mode, but he has built

-in windshield wiper? What the hell? Cha -ching!

You just gotta wipe that goop off. So that's

like when you're in the middle of the Bukaki

video. You can then, you know, wipe off the bison.

Talk about spreading DNA. Steve gets it, David

there. Yeah, cause I know what it means now.

Mike doesn't know what it means yet. I don't

want to know what it means. You know you don't.

Yeah, it sounds like something Dodd would come

up with, not Wilson. Dad wanted his backpack

in good time, just like... Oh God, oh God, oh

God. Now I really don't know what it means. You

know, the last two, I think since episode 22

of the podcast, I've been saying, I've been making

don't want to know what's in there. She wants

to turn his wheels. Play with his axles. Run

his rotors. Are you done? No, she wants to play

with his breaks Good breaks good breaks, too

So this finally comes to a head when When no

doggy bot not here Waspinator what the hell?

And then, of course, we get the backstory of

Waspinator and how, well, he tells it the way

he wanted it to be told, but we actually see

what happens. He flicked a rock at one of the

proto -humans, and then they chased him away,

but he tells her that they wanted him, they begged

him to stay. Yeah. They begged him to leave.

Yeah, I'm just aggravated again. I've said it

before, I'll say it again. I'm aggravated that,

you know, Vsports ended with Waspinator getting

the last word. He was king of the world, literally,

and he probably could have hung out there until,

I don't know, until the G1 bots woke up. Could

you imagine Optimus Prime waking up? What the

hell is this bug doing around here? It's always

buzzing around and he's always talking about

ruling and he transforms into something weird

and... Well, actually, I think that it would

have made an interesting alternate timeline type

of story where you would literally have Waspinator

being king of the world. He would have fostered

life up through the ages to the point where they're

building pyramids with his head on top of it,

or they're building castles. That would have

never fucking worked. I am so glad he came back

to Cybertron. That would have never fucking worked.

Waspinators, this finks. Exactly. I think, yeah,

it would have been very - it would make an interesting

story. I mean, especially if, you know, in present

time you've got this almost Alpha Trion -esque

Waspinator, who's maybe just a slight bit crazy

from being alone for millions of years. But,

uh, you know, let's say thousands of years, let's

say. But, uh, you know, I think it would have

been a better story than Waspinator got bored

and flew back to Cybertron just to have his spark

ripped out. I mean, that's kind of aggravating.

I think I would have been less offended if Jetstorm

were Waspinator and Thrust was Silverbolt, because

they've been leading us on with this whole Thrust

thing for... No, no, no, no, no, because then,

well... See the next line was Like the way he

ended the story was even though I got my spark

ripped out I got this cool and this cool new

biker bot and the chicks dig the the whole brooding

thing and And then he asks black arachnia. Will

you be my my girlfriend or whatever steady with

me? Yeah, well, well she says No, I won't be

your girlfriend that means spider, but not go

steady with waspinator I The one hand it's like

hey everybody loves waspinator. I mean he's lovable

Yeah, doesn't love waspinator right and it's

cool to see him back But at the same time he

at this point. This is the last you see of him

till the end of season 3 I mean he's severely

underutilized and why bother? What's the point?

Yeah, why would you do that? But I like it because

even though Even though they wanted beast machines

to be a the darker series the more serious series

the whole religious novel for television thing

you need Even though rat trap has had some comedy

bits You needed some sort of sort of real comedy

and as I said back when we were doing Beast Wars

You don't kill the comedic character characters

off Regardless of if you put them if you rip

their spark out of one body and put it in another

and make it a different character Yeah, but this

is like the last time you hear from him though.

I know This is the most comedy you're gonna get

I know but it's still clearly say it says it's

a good fan length and just leave it alone I suppose,

I mean, maybe it would have been a better fan

wink if she would have doused him with the green

ooze and he would have been like, Lincoln lubricants,

and we all would have cheered. Oh, it's G1 Ironhide,

woo! You know? That would have lifted. You should

have done the shrapnel line again. Exactly. That

would have been... Oh, yeah. Uncle the Sane.

Yeah, that would have been awesome. But no, it's

Waspman in here. And then my final note was,

of course, because for a brief second we get

the heroic martyr, I guess you could call him.

I have at you, because Silverbolt comes out of

Jetstorm. Yeah. Okay. Again, Thorus should have

been Silverbolt, Jetstorm should have been Ironhide.

No. What am I doing in this fly boy body? Exactly.

Alright, what do you got for this one, Steve?

Well, I mean, I obviously like the fact that

you finally get to hear Waspinator and Jetstorm,

or not Jetstorm, Silverbolt again. It was quite

odd, but it was still cool as hell to see. It

was surprising that they showed the two kid proto

humans In this clip of Waspinator anyway That

was cool Predacons the only Predacon that's actually

in existence now is Waspinator yep, and this

is the first appearance of the Predacon and the

last for a while You see his head. Or maybe it's

his body, I think, yeah. Yeah, well, you see

his body at the end, but he has his voice back

at the end. But I mean, despite that, it's...

Megatron's not a Predacon anymore? No, he's technically

Vietcon. Look at all the weird ass experiments

he's done to himself. Okay. He's technically

considered Vietcon. Well, I think the fact that

he still has a beast mode makes him a Predacon.

Once he sheds the beast mode, maybe not, but...

Yeah, but you can still argue that because he's

got the metal cloak thing going on Yeah, yeah

But yeah, I definitely like seeing waspinator

back in the show. That was quite nice I like

that rat trap finally did the you know his special

goop That you know having gotten enough concentrated

he could Get them, you know to bring out the

old sparks and personalities I still can't believe

that the Tiger Master drone convinced, you know,

from tanker anyway, convinced Megatron to put

the key on all the tanks. Yeah. Well, that made

sense, though. It made sense. Yeah. I mean, you

said you don't want your other two generals turning

on you. So maybe the best thing to do is to give

the Doosday device to the drones that don't have

a general anymore. I mean, that made sense to

me. Not like they could use it on Megatron anyhow

Right, which you find out later, but yeah, but

I mean still it Was quite quite nice to See that

being done Yeah with the key and and all that

Black arachnia just keeps proving that she's

becoming a loose cannon going Bananas over trying

to find silver bolts and she rediscovered that

she had a boyfriend Yeah, because I think she

wants to get laid But yeah, there's definitely

some something to be said for a consistent source

of sex and waspinators like I I have spider bot

girlfriend and she's like Hell no, not if you

were the last bot on the planet Yeah. It's like

I'm glad I didn't have sex with you before I

found out you were a bug. Because that would

be gross. It was funny though when they told,

when they were telling Silverbolt and Waspinator,

hey, you got drones, mind if you shut them down

for us? Hello? And they're both like, drones?

What the fuck are drones? They're like, where

the hell are we at? Well, I mean, it's clear

that they remember. Yeah, but they don't remember

anything that's happened since. Well, Tankor

remembered. Yeah, well, that's Tankor. Megatron

granted him a certain level of sentience through

his shell program, whereas the other two are

kind of oblivious. Well, I don't know, Waspinators

seem to understand that, you know, hey, it's

me in here, but I got a cool new body. Yeah,

but again could it have all see that's the thing

I think Megatron restored tank ores Connor not

tank or Rhinox's Memories And like Steve was

saying gave him some sort of sentient thought

as far as his past whereas He I think he wiped

silver bolts memory as far as anything to do

with like it's kinda like multiple personalities

because you've got Jetstorm on the one hand who

is this big badass and enjoys doing shit and

deep down Silverbolt is there and he knows it's

wrong but he really doesn't know everything else

that's going on which I guess I can probably

argue with myself that that's kind of a stupid

point because if Jetstorm is constantly talking

to the drones and silver bolts in the back of

his mind how does silver bolt not know about

the fucking drones but still it goes back to

multiple personality where sometimes in multiple

personality disorder or whatever the schizophrenia

well it's not really schizophrenia it's multiple

personalities because jetstorm is an entire personality

himself and then silver bolt is his own personality

so you have two people in one body I think that

the argument could be made that Megatron knew

that if he put Rhinox's personality with all

his memories under Tankor that he would eventually

emerge and... End up doing what he wanted him

to do to begin with and he alludes to that he

basically says look I Left your your brain there

to come out because I knew that you would pull

something like this. I covered my own ass But

you know, I'm you know, I knew what was going

on the whole time and I engineered it that way.

Yeah, yeah Or maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.

Maybe that doesn't happen until then the line

but yeah, I mean it could be argued that Megatron

did it with Tankor differently than he did with

Thrust and Jetstorm, specifically because he

knew that Rhinox would pull that. And he hoped

to take advantage of it. Yeah, I guess, but it

still doesn't explain why Waspinator and Silverbolt

don't know about the damn drones. I don't know.

It's still... See, I think they combined... This

is funny. I think they combined multiple personality

disorder and selective memory. Okay. Or repressed

memories. Whatever, I don't freaking know. Way

to go, fruit dude! Where's Dr. Chase Meridian

when I really need her? Oh god. Chip Chase? No!

Oh god! Fuck you! No, Nicole Kidman from Batman

Forever, you asshat! What the hell is wrong with

you? What the fuck is wrong with you, Jesus?

Oh, I thought it was Tom Cruise's wife. Yeah.

Nicole Kidman. His fucking wife. That's right,

that would have been us. Yeah, this old wife.

Anyways! What else do you got for this one, Steve?

Damn it now you fucked up my mind. I know ravaged

my brain But uh I had a thought and I lost it

because it ran away Steve thought he had a hair

until he peed out of it Shut your face It doesn't

explain very well how Waspinator actually got

back to Cybertron because there's no way in hell

Palmtree is going to be able to launch his ass

into space. Yeah, no. He's like, I believe I

can fly. I believe I can touch this guy. I don't

want to launch my ass into the clouds. Oh, God.

Technically there's nothing to say that he couldn't

just keep flying up in the space I Guess Yeah,

whatever, but forever, but it was worth it and

that makes me wonder it's like well if it took

forever Does that mean that you know you've been

flying since? I don't know, you know, flying

since 3 ,000 years ago? So he spent basically

about a month on the beast planet after they

left, and then they got pissed and said, uh,

get on your happy little way. Or we'll do it

for you. And he's like, no. And then they're

like, OK, we'll take care of you then. And launched

him. And they were like, 40 feet away! Peace

off! Ha! That's right. Here's Waspinator blasting

off again! That's funny. Yeah, anyway. But yeah,

that's pretty much all I got. I don't... Other

than the Waspinators showing up, again, I don't

know. There's something about these three episodes.

I don't really care until it gets past these.

And then it starts actually winding up for me.

Well, yeah, because then you become a giant head.

He was ahead of his time. Well, at least there's

no balls attached to it. That was funny. What

do you got? I have no need for robotesticles.

What's your position? Michael Bay will not wreck

me. Exactly. I was watching Mater's Tall Tales

and there's the episode where he's the monster

truck wrestler. Yeah. And at the end there's

this giant tractor thing that he has to wrestle.

And he tagged teams in a frightening McMean.

Yeah. And the giant tractor's dropping his wrecking

ball on the ground. And lightning McQueen's like

dodging the wrecking ball, but I couldn't help

but think of Devastator Yeah, I know Giant testicles

falling from the sky Yeah, what are your thoughts

on this here episode so the catalyst yes, I Like

how tank or tricks Megatron and arming the via

cons. Oh Yeah, that was awesome. It's like the

whole time. It's like Megatron looks like he's

playing right into tank or his hands the whole

time and Yeah, it's like You know just playing

him like a fiddle and I don't know I mean I'm

jumping the gun a little bit here, but it's like

if Tank or only would have tank ox, you know

Rhinox if he had only stayed hidden and not overplayed

his hand He would have had it. He could he could

have taken it all But You know, you've got Rattrap,

who has this catalyst, and he's trying to use

it for the first time. And again, why the hell

would you use it? Why would you do a large -scale

test? That makes no sense. Why not just try it

on a little tiny piece and see what happens?

But no, he uses it for the first time, and all

hell breaks loose. And the activity reminded

me of Gremlins. You know kind of like when stripe

jumps into the pool. Yeah Yeah, and I'm thinking

uh -oh uh -oh here. It comes. You know except

for the whole tentacle porn part Yeah speaking

of nobody expecting tentacle porn don't ever

don't ever send something like that to me ever

again oh come on it was at least mildly entertaining

no that was fucking disgusting i like porn but

that's that that was going way overboard it was

that wasn't even porn that was just like a gif

yeah no that that was a very wrong animated gif

i don't think there was even movie in that very

wrong very wrong but anyway nobody expects the

tentacle porn Steve, did you get that? Unfortunately.

I think he probably just deleted it. Deleted.

Deleted, yeah. I won't link that in the forums.

That would be... optimal that's right you'll

have to just everyone out there will have to

use their imagination yeah there's no way we're

putting that in this episode post no no fucking

way it wasn't that bad there's no way did you

get that offline yeah wow the internet really

sucks these days doesn't it oh please you know

that that was no pleasing some people i don't

think that's even considered like technical porn

i mean honestly there's really some really awful

stuff out there if you google technical porn

you know you would find maybe ten times worse

than that let me tell you maybe it's um maybe

it's um octopi porn no i mean literally there's

like i i won't get into it but suffice to say

worse than that yeah um moving right along uh

The Maximals have no problem transforming in

their own base when they start chopping up the

plants that are growing willy -nilly. And it's

like, you know, why would they do that? You'd

think that they would want to take the chance

to bring the Viacons right down on their head.

I don't know. I don't know. I'm just saying that

it didn't make much sense. You know, they chop

up all these plants that they're trying to grow.

It's like, I thought the whole point was to make

the plants grow more, not chop them all up into

tiny pieces. You know, and Tito doing his impersonation

of the Cuisinart didn't help. I mean, granted,

they had the rescue rat trap from the unfortunate

tentacle placement. but uh you know the let's

say the vine growth we'll call it that so as

not to you know the growth exactly the the vine

growth uh yeah i mean they had the rescue ratchet

but at the same time it's like they ended up

with a huge pile of deceased shrubbery let's

say why am i reminded and don't get me wrong

beast machines is awesome But when that scene,

the whole overgrowth scene happened, why am I

reminded of a fairly horrible sci -fi original

movie, something about plants? Oh, God. I don't

know. It has something to do with growing plants

and over -investation of plant life. It's like,

oh, God. OK. Oh, God. And bicaracne. Actually,

in order to convert Thrust and Jestorm, she has

to splash them with the ooze. Splish splash,

I was thinking of that. Well, yeah, but I mean,

the first thing that came to my mind was, she

slimed me. Come on, Ghostbusters. Yeah, and then

there's uh, you know everyone who flies in on

their on their giant vines Vines broomstick.

Yeah, you can call it that they they come in.

It's weird cuz they're like driving it I mean

you had to drive it in order to get to go all

the way to the Citadel and back But you know,

so they they they fly the the vine in but I like

the the transition that goes from the vine directly

to Megatron's control wires. So you kind of see

the parallel there from the organic to the technological.

Yeah, yeah you do. I thought that was well done.

And at the end they don't push the fact that

Rhinox planted the catalyst for Rattrap to find.

I mean he mentions it. He's like, haha, you know,

you found it. But he doesn't say, it's not like

beating us over the head with it. It's like,

I put it in there for you to find and I'm the

one that caused this and I am going to bring

down the downfall of everybody. He just kind

of mentions off the cuff, oh, you know, haha,

I snared the rat. Well, the other thing is, if

you notice, When the drone and Rhinox are talking

earlier in the episode, Rhinox is at some computer

terminal. And there's one of those transitions

where he hits a giant button and it fades away

to a different scene. Because he's talking about

all his plans. And that's the point right there

when he sends the Catalyst program to Rattrap.

Ohhhhh. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, it's nice.

I mean, it's well written to the point where,

you know, they're not... bludgeoning you with

it. Right, yeah. And then lastly, you know, you've

got Optimus trying to access the Oracle and it's

like, sorry, I've been hacked. It's just unfortunate

because, you know, an episode or two ago, you

know, the Oracle was this, you know, all powerful,

you know, it's a deity. It planned everything

and it made everything happen. And now it's oh,

I'm sorry. I've been hacked Yeah, I'm sorry.

Did you want to pray to me? I'm sorry. There'll

be no praying today, you know, I'm hacked and

access denied I Know Michael will mind saying

this so I'm gonna say it coming from me I'm just

a hack of a god Yeah Well, it just bothers me

because they They they just the way that they

flippantly use the terms matrix They don't call

it an all -spark. I don't yeah, I think they

do. Yeah, they do Well, they say it's far. They

basically say it's the well of all sparks. Yeah,

I mean Just the way that they flip -flop these

these terms around as if they're not separate

things. They're all the same thing apparently

And it aggravates me a little bit. But again,

you know, we've had this conversation before

where it's like, you know, Michael Bade is something

very similar. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no I was gonna say to the point where we're

not all gonna gang up and burn down Bob skiers

house But actually I think people were threatening

to burn down his house There goes that interview

request right out the window I'm not saying I'm

going to but I'm I know that but just we'll have

to ask him if we talk to him We'll have to ask

him what nature these death threats to because

I know that there there were some Don't want

to say zealous fans out there over zealous fans

out there Yeah, there still are overzealous fans,

but at the time there was pretty much g1 beast

wars and Beast machines then ruined everything

You know did not well. I mean again. This is

before we had all these different continuities,

right? Yeah You know we're judging up last episode's

conversation, but you know this was again. There

was g1 and you had g1 fanatics and then you have

beast wars and people are like hey I can see

the parallels between beast wars and g1 I like

it and then you get into beast machines and everything's

wrong well I don't want to say wrong but you

know everything's not only is everything vastly

different but you start messing up with these

with these uh with the cannon for lack of a better

term you know yeah So can we move on or do we

have anything else on this one? I suppose not.

I mean aside from the fact that I want it to

be known that I do not intend to burn down Bob

Skier's house. I like the series and and I would

really like to call him and talk to him and tell

him what a fantastic writer and what a great

job he did on this. And with that we are moving

on. Fool Megatron, this planet has an organic

core. If you unleash the key program, you'll

destroy all of Cybertron! No planet is alive,

Optimus! They're merely infested! And I intend

to restore it to its natural condition! Over

my sparkless body! I said that too sadly! is

getting the better of you. My technological side

is defeating you, Optimus Primal. Observe. But

even you can't destroy the Matrix, and the Matrix

wills that the organics prevail! Deep within

this planet beats the heart of an organic core,

just as the heart of a beast beats within you!

able to say the same for you much longer nor

of you master destroy me it's hardwired into

your panic did you think I would grant you a

spark and then not protect myself from your You've

been a perfect pawn all along, your independent

mind weaving webs of deceit I would never have

conceived. I must thank you. If I never let you

roam free, I never would have obtained the key

to my victory. Still some fight left, my friend.

I still control the plasma energy chamber. My

dear Optimus, you've always lacked the machine

-like clarity to do what is logical and necessary

to win! Not this time. And finally up today is

End of the Line. Duh, they're under Megatron's

control now that you're dead, you dumbass. First

the key to Vector Sigma, now the plasma energy

chamber. Yay for G1 references. At least they

used this one in the appropriate manner. Oh,

very true, yep. We finished this now, Megatron,

you and I. I so miss the G1 lines. And then of

course Megatron's like, and Steve is going to

have to pretty much say this, of course, Steve's

going to have to edit this point where I'm telling

him to say this, but this was my next note. Just

say the damn line. Let our feats fall where they

may. I thought that was awesome. I was actually

thinking the cookie crumbles. And my final note

for this one was... You're making me snort. Stop

it. The image of energy piling on and Optimus

and Megatron going at it was just epic. It was

very cool. Yeah, you've got Megatron taking the

energy from the key and then you've got Optimus

invoking the plasma energy chamber. Yeah. So

you've got both Doomsday weapons set off at once

and see you next year! I don't know, as far as

cliffhangers go though, I... I don't think that

this one was quite as dire as the Beast Wars

cliffhangers. No. The Beast Wars cliffhangers

usually resulted in somebody's death. Yeah. Well,

I mean, the first one is, we just blew up a moon

and Optimus Prime's dead. It's like, wow, that's

pretty epic. And this, well, the second one was,

we're going to blow up time itself. Which is

again really epic and here it's just like yeah,

you know We got kind of this stuff swirling around

and your hands disappearing. Sorry about that

I Don't know it just didn't seem as dire Yeah

What about you Steve? What do you got for this

one? um this one I Liked pretty well because

this is where it all came to a head and you have

rat traps little nice catch a tree Creating finds

around the drones. I mean, I know they've been

in there, but it's still cool to see them again.

Yeah, the bomb is back. Yeah, yeah You get tank

we're thinking he's playing primal against Megatron

you get Megatron once again turning to dragon

mode For the final time Well, not technically

the final time technically yeah because there

is no dragon after this point well some other

creature yeah but it's a it's a form of dragon

but um it's an iguana but um it's a dragon zord

lizard thing it's a trans morpher god it's a

beast bot it's a vr trooper what was that line

No, they were called Transformers, but they weren't

Transformers because it was like a person that

transformed into a beast. Battle Beast? Or not

Battle Beast? No, no, no, no, no. Animorphs.

Animorphs, that's what it was, yeah. I was going

to say, it's an Animorph, but not really. Pretenders?

There was a mutants line that they released toward

the tail end, I want to say toward the tail end

of the Beast Machines, where... Maybe it was

telling the beast wars alongside the the transmittal

to so I forget exactly but with the new words

you mean Well, no, it had it was like a beast

mode that transformed into another beast mode

That was probably beast machines not beast wars.

No, I think it was toward the end of the beast

wars They might have been on the shelves alongside

the other beast machines Really I know for a

fact they were Okay, I was gonna say that they

were they were marketed alongside the the second

run of Fusors Yeah, I don't remember exactly

but there were only four of them there was supposed

to be more but they only made four and They weren't

very well received because they had no robot

mode They had a robot head tucked away somewhere

that you could see if you like looked under their

ass or something but uh yeah so that that yeah

we're jumping the gun way ahead but noble savage

kind of reminds me of one of those except not

really an animal of any type yeah what are you

transforming i'm not transforming anything i

think that's steve fiddling with a megatron how

do you know i can hear you yeah we can hear you

i've been over here transforming my new rotamus

miner the whole time and nobody knew because

I'm being like really quiet with judicious use

of mute. Well, this is also an old toy, so it

does make those sounds. It is my Beast Wars Transmetal

2 Megatron. I was seeing if there was a way to

fold down the wings. Oh, yeah. Yes. Well, I'm

looking to do a custom of my Beast Machines Megatron,

so. Yes, you've said that multiple times. Get

to this episode. What are your other thoughts?

You know what? We've been doing this for three

hours now. Well, let's fold them. It's only been

two and a half hours, I think, so far. Uh, yes,

there's, uh... Oh yeah, Megatron against a diagnostic

drone. Hmm, do I detect a personal stake in this

contest? Why, only that of my master. And which

master would that be? That was such an awesome

line. Like, you led the cat out of the bag, like,

hey, I know you're not working with me. Yeah,

he's like, ehhhh, yeah. But notice that he didn't,

uh... He didn't, you know, shoot fire at him.

No, he destroyed him. Yeah, the fire doesn't

work. We've established that, but he just kinda

smashed him, which was... It was cool. I digged

it. He used his deacon armor. I like how Tankor,

uh, was bleeped off. He got pissed. Yeah, yeah.

He was like, damn it, my eyes in the skies are

gone. Well at that point he's like, all right

fine. He called me out. He knows he knows I'm

I'm still alive and You know, I'm just gonna

go for broke which was dumb He's so should and

he should have foreseen that Megatron would have

like a fail safe Mm -hmm. I Mean everything was

orchestrated so well up to that point. I was

just really surprised Yeah, I was quite surprised

about that too, but whatever yeah and Another

awesome quote of Megatron's was You can't destroy

me. It's hardwired into your programming Did

you think I would grant you a spark and not protect

myself from your treachery? Exactly Pretty that's

the kind of the bag that he purposely let rampage

or not rampage, but uh Rhinox is a personality

resurface, right? It was I who allowed the spies

to reach the star and it was I who You know let

your I forget exactly what the Emperor's lines

were but you know I should turn in my geek cred

right now for not being able to to quote return

of the Jedi But you get the point. Yeah that's

no moon that's a battle station exactly yeah

what else you got Steve rat trap refers to control

alt delete yeah yeah I like that rebooted now

with more Tim Curry I like how Megatron thinks

that Primal doesn't have the balls to activate

the plasma energy chamber. And Primal's like,

oh, yes I do. This time I have big balls. They're

brass. And then he just like turns it on and

then they both start like dying in a wildfire

of plasma energy and like no organic matter.

That's right. Megatron's like, no. Tanker's like,

I'm shot. Like pancake pancake pancake That's

exactly what happened I was there I saw it Yeah,

I was there too. I was surprised that you didn't

Say end game because that was my favorite line

and end game He says like you said it more Yeah,

I dig that Game over, man! Game over! Jackpot.

Game over. Game over. Game over, man! Snake!

I can't believe I have to explain Metal Gear

Solid to you. Never mind. So, are you done with

your thoughts, Steve? Yes. Michael what are your

thoughts on end of the line? It consists of a

long line of badgers punctuated by mushroom mushroom.

No We're not bringing I told you already we're

not bringing badgers back in this podcast After

being locked out of the Oracle why would optimus

prime will suddenly trust a new vision it's like

Oh, I'm getting a vision from my You know, I

don't want to say from my deity that no longer

works or won't talk to me anymore But you know,

it's like I suddenly had an alignment shift and

now I can't contact my deity You know, but this

new vision coming in, you know, this makes a

lot of sense Well, they had to fan wank us at

some point and they had to work it in there and

they had to figure out some Plenty of wanking

uh... you know so far i mean but this you know

basically megatron has a doomsday weapon rhinox

knew that he had to get a different doomsday

weapon into mega or optimus's hands so that megatron

would use his exactly and you don't have too

many other doomsday weapons between other than

vector sigma And or the key to vector Sigma and

the goddamn plasma energy chamber deep in the

bowels of Cybertron. There's a huge red button

It's an off switch This is my plan to assassinate

TFG when Mike I'm just gonna Pull out pull out

random fan wankery out of my ass until he chokes

Um, yeah, so anyway, uh, yeah, Rhinox ensures

that Megatron uses his weapon knowing full well

that it's going to drive him insane. You know,

Megatron doesn't know that when you're infected

with, you know, the, uh, the, the, the blue metal

virus, for lack of, I don't know what, I don't

know what they call it, but it's the, that stuff,

the plague. When you get the plague, you go nuts.

And Megatron doesn't know this, Rhinox does,

and he's expecting Megatron to infect himself

with his own weapon. And the only way to do that

is to give Optimus an equally powerful weapon

that will wipe out Megatron. Nobody expects Optimus

to use it. With me so far. My question is, how

does Rhinox know That the plasma energy chamber

is even down there Probably for the same reason

that Rhinox knew how to bring Primal back in

Beast Wars He's got a lot more information in

him than what he lets everybody in on well that

and the whole time that Like the last episode

when when drone boy was leading them around misleading

them tank When drone boy was misleading jet storm

and thrust You know, Rhinox is... yeah, Droner.

Drone on! Raging Droner. Oh boy. Anyway, um...

You know, that whole time, Rhinox is probably

doing research, and he's probably looking into

stuff. So... Well, I mean, my first thought was,

oh, he found it in the Matrix! But he doesn't

commune with the Matrix, and the only way to

gain access to it is with the drone. Right which

he doesn't have very often because he doesn't

want to rouse Megatron suspicions So I mean I

you know it's a reasonable question. How the

hell they know about it Again, it's just one

of those ways that they faint fan wanked it in

yeah It's kind of like you have to have suspension

of disbelief. He just does he just knows You

know every time they do that every time you have

to use suspension of disbelief It bothers me

because the writing, again, is so good here that

normally you don't have to do that. And lastly,

you know, Rattrap goes down, he gets zapped by

Tankor. And that's, again, Tankor comes out of

hiding and is like, why would you do that? You

know you're gonna die. Rattrap gets zapped, he

turns blue. Everyone else gets zapped, they all

turn blue. Optimus Prime was like, well, oh,

until he gets zapped and he turns blue. Again,

why don't we get blue repaints? Because it done

well. It would look really, really cool. At the

end, I thought Optimus looked really cool. Yeah.

I like that color much better than his actual

colors. Well, you know, it's funny now that I

think about it if you look back at the first

optimus primal that was released he was blue

He was blue and black He didn't have the shape

of optimus. I mean, uh He didn't have that trans

organic shape Techno organic shape. Let's say

I'm sorry. I totally screwed that up at it But

he didn't you know, he didn't look like a big

blue blast punch Optimus Primal, which is what

I'd like to see but you know he did look like

You know more more like a big blue beast force

optimus He looks more like an ape then then you

know a techno -organic Yeah I mean say what you

will about that the first toy the first optimus

primal toy he he Didn't look very show accurate

at all, but he does look a lot like He just got

shot with the key death ray. Yeah, he does. Yeah,

stop twittering. I'm not twittering. You're twittering.

I'm not friggin' twittering. You gotta get that,

I'm not paying attention. No, I'm paying attention,

I'm researching at the moment. All right, well

that's all I got yeah exactly that's that's all

I got I'm spent that's what she said and You

know now it's now because we have nothing better

to do, but let you talk. I guess you can quit

Researching get off of Twitter I'm not on Twitter

you asshat Twitter quitter. I was trying to see

the damn picture of the toy that you're fucking

talking about oh the blue one yeah you dummy

you were you well i forget when it was exactly

what you were saying you were looking at that

before and you didn't like it no i are you talking

about the original beast wars optimus primal

no no i'm talking about beast machines primal

the blue one the first one that came out well

see i was trying to look that up that's why i

went mute so you wouldn't hear this insane typing

you jerk i'm totally calling you out And that's

exactly why the tentacle porn is staying in.

Who's not paying attention so um we're gonna

cut to The Beast Unleashed podcast very first

voicemail, and then you're gonna hear some sort

of clips I don't know what kind of quotes Steve's

got for this episode, and we'll be back with

the outro We'll return to the Beast Unleashed

podcast after this here's quote number one. I'm

sorry Were you happier when my vocabulary was

limited to... Take or smash! Poetic, perhaps.

Yet somehow it just isn't me anymore. Not since

my dormant memories were released. I'm not quite

the Maximal that I was. Neither am I what Megatron

made me. My experiences in both camps have afforded

me a greater clarity. I've grown to realize Megatron's

scheme for new order is elegant in its simplicity,

yet suffering from a single flaw. Megatron. Cybertron

requires a leader uncontaminated by a beast mode.

Someone like me. And unlike Megatron, I will

always have use for your skills. I am programmed

to serve Megatron. I have no alternative. Trust

me. There are always alternatives. Here's quote

number two. Sadly none of you. This unit does

not contain the receptive scar. Access denied.

It appears we're in need of a receptive spark.

Or perhaps... One who has no spark at all! I

see where this is going. Find the key! This is

beyond comprehension! The key! Where is it? This

is just computer code! Indeed. The code that

controls the... Key to Vector Sigma. Now it must

be tested. End quote number three. You mean I

risked everything to save this this scrap That

means spider -bot not go steady with waspinator

Poison of my heart! There's only one Transformer

who could say something that corny with a straight

face! It is I, my love. through solar systems,

which would have planets and a sun, and each

planet would have a moon. So for it to have a

sun and a moon and possibly other planets in

the background, it's possible. It's highly unlikely

because it's also a chance to actually collide

in with another planet or moon. Well, okay, so

this is a different cyberchop because that would

explore, yeah. Now back to the beast unleashed

podcast So we are going to close out this train

wreck of a show We've been recording nearly three

and a half hours now We would like to thank the

person that left the voicemail you didn't leave

your name So we don't actually know what to call

you. So just I guess mystery caller You guys

have any thoughts on on mystery colors ideas

as far as Cybertron being a moving planet Not

possible, okay, I would argue the opposite but

okay Because it's in It's it's got its own system

that it's in they put everything back the way

it was supposed to be at the end of G1 Okay,

I just don't see a planet traveling that's oh

Yeah, you mean rebirth. Yeah, they moved Cybertron

away from Earth, right? Well, that was the second

time they brought Cybertron. Yeah So they just

keep dicking around with the orbit I mean I can

I can totally see how Cybertron would just be

a free -floating planet without without a Sun

you never actually see a Sun anywhere on the

On the show. Yes, you do. On Beast Machines?

Yep. I remember seeing a moon. No, you see a

sun. Your favorite episode, weak component at

the end. Rat Trap says, okay, it's half a solar

cycle. Right, okay. Because they walk off into

the sunrise. Yeah, and that has to... Yeah, if

there are solar cycles there has to be an orbit

So thank you to the person that left the voicemail

to anyone else you can leave us voicemail we

will play them in the show We have any other

closing thoughts before I go into the outro Not

really, okay Again, shut up Steve. Thank you

for joining us here on the Beast Unleashed Podcast.

If you're still waiting in contact with us or

leave feedback for the show, visit the website

geekcastradio .com. You can comment on each episode

post. Join the forums, productonempire .com slash

nexus. Leave the show's feedback in iTunes. Please

do this. You can follow us on Twitter, the show

name there is Beast Unleashed, mine is TFJoneMichael,

what is your... PconCTMichael. And SCP -21. Yes,

you can become a fan on Facebook, search Geekcast

Radio Network, we are currently still running

our... Stan Bush giveaway. If we hit 300 fans,

we will give randomly away one Stan Bush prize

pack to each one of those fans. It includes a

autographed CD of Dream the Dream, his latest

album, and a t -shirt. That's funny. What? Because

just tonight I introduced Gavin to the touch

or Aidan and Gavin. They were playing and I was

singing it and he's like... What are you tossing

in, you know, and I said, oh, it's Stan Bush

and he's like well play Stan Bush So I pulled

it up on the iPhone and played the touch for

them. Oh, they thought it was very cool Yeah,

they've never heard it before. Yeah, well raise

them, right? I'm gonna end up with these two

tragically geeky kids and just feel really bad

about it Well, you know they did come from your

own genes Just as long as you don't show them

Rocky Horror before their right of age there.

No, I think I'm going to let that slide. Yeah,

we've already had one consequential toiletry

issue with Aiden. We don't want more. We already

know he's young and impressionable, so we're

not going to go there. No Team Rocket for him,

no Rocky Horror for him. He's just not going

to have any fun. Call the voicemail line, tell

us to show you leaving the message for and your

name, 502 -526 -5821. We hope you enjoyed this

train wreck of the Beast Unleashed podcast and

join us next time when we will be reviewing the

first three episodes from Beast Machines Season

2. Those being Fallout, Savage Noble, and Prometheus

Unbound. For now, I am TF21 Mike with Michael

Wilson and Steve Megatron Phillips. Megatron

closed the show. Join us next week as I play

another episode of Beast Machines. Well, I'm

not in it, unfortunately. Okay, thank you for

listening until next time. Holy shit.