Spider-Man: Bloodline Review

Hey, it's your friendly neighborhood Spider -Man

here, and I'm swinging by the Geekcast Radio

Network. Hey, it's Jesse Rass here, and you've

made the great escape into comics by jumping

inside the pull bag today. You've just jumped

inside the pull bag. Join TFG1 Mike and the rest

of the comic crew here at the GCRN as they make

their great escape into comics. From DC, Marvel,

and Image to IDW, Bloom Studios, and Xenoscope,

we have everything right here. We cover things

like Transformers, He -Man, Super Heroes, TMNT,

and Radiant Black. Yeah, we have all that and

so much more. It's all inside the pull bag here

on the Geekcast Radio Network. So, without further

ado, it's time to talk about the comics we're

reading right now, here inside the pull bag.

Alright folks, JJ Abrams, Henry Abrams, exploding

chips in heads, everything else, I am TF2 and

Mike, this is the GeekCast Radio Network, you

have jumped inside the pull bag, this is episode

563, and JT and I are back with Spider -Man Bloodline,

the five issue series that was written by director

to the stars, JJ Abrams, his son Henry, And I

don't remember who the artists were off the top

of my head because we recorded this months ago,

but that's what this episode is, and this is

probably going to be the penultimate episode

of 2024 for the pull bag unless I change things

around because I don't know what I'm doing. Anyway,

I will give you a full rundown of what's going

to happen inside the pull bag in the intro to

episode 564. In the meantime, JJ and Henry Abrams.

Marvel Comics, Spider -Man, Bloodline. Coming

up next here inside The Pull Bag, only on the

GeekCast Radio Network. Hello and welcome to

The Pull Bag. This is episode 563. We are on

the journey to 600 episodes, which will hit in

January 2025. Yes, that's right, folks. We will

be ending the year for the pull bag in December

on episode 599. And oh, boy, do I have a plan

for episode 580 to 599. You'll hear about that

in a future episode. But for now, I am, of course,

TFJ Mike. Joining me is JT from Saskatoon. Hello,

sir. How are you? Good morning. I'm good. That's

good. That's good. And we are thwipping through

the Marvel Comics universe. And we're going to

be talking about another Spider -Man title this

week, one I found which was overall much more

enjoyable than going to hell and playing with

the devil because they've done that before a

million times. Yeah, except Dark Web made it

fun and enjoyable to read and not at all suck

like one more day. One last day is what that

should have been called. You're not nearly as

funny as you think you are Mike Mm -hmm sure.

I am I know I am I'm hilarious. I am because

I read most of my comics digitally Apparently

in the last 12 and 11 and a half 12 years of

the pull bag I have forgotten that there are

actual back covers to comics like I've known

that there are back covers to comics but reading

them digitally I usually stop when this when

the last page says the end or to be continued

or whatever I never go back and I mean I look

through the cover art, but I never like Go all

the way to the final page and see the back cover

And I did this time and I find it very very interesting

So I want to read this and this is kind of synopsizing

the book But we'll go through it anyway, like

we always do JJ Abrams and his son Henry and

superstar artist Sarah Pichelli spin a spidey

story unlike any other I was kind of surprised

like when I first heard that you know Mr. Lens

flare was gonna write a comic and I mean there

have been celebrities over the years that have

stepped in and you know written comics being

Patton Oswalt's done a whole bunch Kevin Smith,

you know Mark Hamill Did this one called the

Black Pearl from I believe Dark Horse back in

the 90s? Which really that was like the first

one that kind of made me say it's like actors

can write, you know and Yeah, and the cool thing

about this story is it's about Peter and his

son Ben in this alternate universe written by

JJ Abrams and his son Henry and I mean, just

when you think about Spider -Man, I thought that

was a really cool thing that you it's this real

father and son endeavor in both aspects, both

in the creative and the creators. Yeah. And it's

Spider -Man and having kids is something that

they've they've dabbled into varying degrees

of success over the years. I mean, originally

it was, you know, it's during that what some

say a very creatively bankrupt period in the

90s known as the clone saga which I am a fan

of. I'm not saying it's all good it's just you

know I enjoyed the story and what they were trying

to do and then it ran on for like what five six

years and was only supposed to be like a year

and a half max but during that period Mary Jane

was pregnant and this is six one six Marvel so

the OG. Mary Jane is pregnant, we meet Ben Reilly,

Peter's spider powers kind of go out on him,

so him and MJ leave New York. He's left it in

the best hands that he could and along the way

she has her kid and then they're told that their

little daughter who was going to be named May

was stillborn. They didn't have a May in the

comics at this point because Aunt May had died

and The only only person that stays dead in comic

books is uncle Ben Because even Jason Todd and

Bucky Barnes came back and the way the Waynes

usually stay dead and Thomas and Martha Wayne.

Yeah you know, but so They say we're stillborn,

but then there was this nurse that was in the

operating room that Leaves a hospital and she's

got this baby -sized bundle in her arms and she

goes to this boat and she's met by These guys

called Scryers, which are these six foot tall

Chalk white skin and black cloak dudes who were

it was some cult that Norman Osborne created

or took over when he was hiding out in Europe

for all the years that we thought he was dead

and It's assumed that Peter that was their kid

and the the Goblin was gonna do some with her

and then they said the bundle wasn't a shot wasn't

the baby it was this MacGuffin that they used

in a later storyline that where Peter had come

back and basically was supposed to give Norman

a one in four chance of getting like all this

power and it got made his madness even insane

like it was dumb but then we get spider -girl

May Parker Who originally showed up in one of

the last issues of the second volume of what

if number 105 titled legacy in black and white

and it's a drawn written by Tom DeFalco written

by Ron fan or drawn by Ron fans and It was literally

like she and she's she's born. She's got these

powers. I Pretty sure it's just She she could

be seen as immune because obviously she was born

with the powers but she doesn't have the x gene

it's a whole thing and she went on to have a

very long running series it gave rise to the

mc2 comics universe for a short time in the late

nineties and yeah i mean currently there is the

new ultimate spider -man comic which is set in

a world where. The maker who is old Earth 1610

Reed Richards who went insane and became a bad

guy traveled to this alternate universe prevented

certain people from becoming heroes and basically

created his own world and In that universe Peter

does not have powers when we first meet him in

the story. He's been married with Mary Jane He's

a reporter. He's got a couple of kids you know

and It's a great series so far. So you come to

this back to this thing after me rambling like

that. The reason I brought up media like that,

just to give the listeners some background, is

in the MC2 universe, Peter lost a leg and became

a forensic scientist for the NYPD. And in this

story, as we will get into it, he's a reporter.

He's missing his right hand. So he's got the

you know, the requisite hook hand and Okay, I

need I need to say something really quickly here

it took me almost to the end of the book To realize

that he had a hook for a right hand. I don't

know Yeah, it took me until I saw him when they

freed him from being upside down in the fifth

issue We'll get to that part. Yeah, but literally

Didn't even notice it whatsoever. I Don't know

how I did but I didn't Yeah, and I I'm gonna

say right now. I enjoyed the story We said that

you were talking to this off Mike before we started

recording I Mike has said, you know, he he like

this story, you know, it's a bit of a spoiler

He likes this story more than dark web folks.

I Respectfully disagree. I'm not saying that

the story's bad. It's just I enjoy Dark Web more.

Okay, so here's, and I'll go ahead and spoil

this and I'll tell you why. Dark Web is cool

and nice and fun with me, and I love that it's

Peter and Felicia at the end, but yay! Anybody

else other than what's his nuts. You could put

Dr. Doom with MJ and have them have kids. I would

like it more than whatever the hell that dude's

name was. Dude that we don't like. Paul. We don't

like Paul. Yeah, we don't like Paul. That's right.

Paul sucks. We don't like Paul. So take that,

okay? Like I said, positive. I love Peter and

Felicia together. Spidey and Black Cat together

forever. All that good stuff, whatever. My disappointment

in that, as I just said, is Mary Jane goes back

to Paul. Whereas in this, I literally broke down

crying. And we'll get to that point. and I'm

going to try not to cry on air, but literally

the ending of this and how this turns out was

more emotionally satisfying to me than MJ getting

to go back to Paul. That's my only negative.

That's my only negative on dark web, for the

most part, I think. You can go back to episode

562, folks, from last week, and you can hear

if I have any other negatives. But that's my

overall why I like Bloodline more than Dark Web.

Better ending. Cool. OK. Just wanted to make

sure. Like, hello? I mean, this, you know, as

we cut it out, just to backtrack a little bit

in Spider -Man, as we get into the story. you

know it's spider or peter has gone through this

hellacious battle with this uh villain called

cadaverous yep and uh unfortunately mary jane

gets uh shanked and and i love his minions here

they they look like cyborg xenomorphs so that's

the other thing about this even though it's um

what's your name let me go back and look at the

credits here chili Yeah, even though it's Sarah

Pichelli, it's obviously JJ and Henry giving

her ideas of what they use alien type models.

There's something else in here that I recognize

from a different film that we'll get to at some

point, but I was like, yeah, those are xenomorphs.

I see what you're doing. They're definitely inspired

by... You'd be a fool and a communist to say

otherwise. This is the second off -brand Xenomorph

that's been in Marvel Comics, the first being

the Brood. If they were not inspired by the Xenomorphs,

I'll eat my hat. Mary Jane dies and Mary Jane's

died before and in betters. Yes, but I don't

know I am sorry I remember what I was going with

that like she's died finger quotes I meant to

say in comments because there was a Couple of

years two or three years in the late 90s early

2000s where Mary Jane had a stalker because she

went back to being a supermodel and This is pre

9 -eleven She she was on a flight like a 747

that this guy who's got some weird I vaguely

defined superpowers he blows it up and like he's

kidnapped Mary Jane and then he blows up the

plane and Peter and everyone in the Spider -Man

universe thinks she's dead until she's like found

and Hooray Mary Jane still alive. They still

love each other. The marriage is still intact

not for long. Hey now Not if the Sada has anything

to say about it stupid quesadilla worst quesadilla

ever I want my money back. No. No, okay one thing

one. I don't I hate that Joe quesada is the basis

for spider -man can't be married spider -man

needs tragedy blah blah blah Look, he can be

a little bit happy people. He doesn't have to

be completely ecstatic I mean, he's not angel

like You know, he doesn't, you know, one moment

of happiness isn't going to turn him evil, you

know, people, come on, let's go. You don't know

that. I mean, if Peter got everything that he

wanted and at best he turns into an asshole,

but that happened in the house of M and we don't

talk about the house of M. Or he starts dancing

in a black suit. When I say Quesada, you can

thank Joe Quesadilla, but It just really annoys

me when people use a food that I love to describe

some asshole. Well, sorry, that's my point. There

are good quesadillas, there are tasty quesadillas,

there are great quesadillas out there that are

made very, very well. This guy and his opinions

of how the story should be made, bad quesadilla.

He's not a quesadilla. It is you insult one of

the best food on God green earth by calling himself.

So we're moving on So yeah, Mary Jane gets back

stabbed by these Freddy Cougar like fingers Like

Peter cannot catch a break. This is a second

woman in his life. That's gone off the Brooklyn

Bridge. Yeah, and then You know if we flash forward

to the funeral, you know, he's lost his right

arm Ben's I think like 10 maybe I'll know cuz

it says 12 years later. So he's at best three

years old three or four He looks too big. No,

he looks too big to be full. He's in high school

When we get to the main thrust of the story,

right? Okay, so maybe five so I'm gonna say fuck

for okay I'll agree with like four or five or

six anything between four and seven is fine Yeah,

and then Peter's got this dead look in his face

when we go 12 years later You know gotta love

a time jump and I like this because this does

like okay So me and I've talked about this before

on the show me and time jumps don't work. So

well Depends on how they're executed. That's

my that's my point It depends on how they're

executed and how this is done where it's just

a black page with the white letters of Twitter

like It's like the white it's like the titles

for Batman Beyond Return of the Joker You have

this opening scene of Batman kicking the Joker's

ass the Joker's I should say the gang kicking

their ass and flying through the city and whatever

else and then you have this nice soft white Flashing

titles of the name of the film and then we get

the music and the swelling and the whatever.

It's a it's a peaceful kind of transition it's

not jarring to me whereas some time jump transitions

are so jarring to me but this works i like this

yes 12 years later and we are in ben's apartment

or house or wherever well it turns out he's uh

living with uh his elderly aunt may because you

know that's just how it is i mean this skinny

little rail thin ginger taken after his mom you

know He's a good guy. He packs his homework,

takes out the garbage, makes breakfast for Aunt

May, goes to school. We get discount Flash Thompson

bullying this kid. I like that it's not Flash.

But it is Flash. But it's not Flash. I know.

But I'm saying, yes, it's bullying like Flash

Thompson would do. It's bullying like what happened

in Spider -Man 2002. I agree, absolutely 100%.

Just like that. They didn't name him fucking

flash because I Like flash when he actually matures

as a character. I Don't need bully flash all

the time. But yes, we have the bullet. Okay,

so we got crash Thompson here and he's bullying

this kid and Roland Roland the bully is named

Roland not the bullied kid and he tells him to

stay alone and then this guy just everything

that happens to him in the next 30 seconds. He

earned this. He deserves this. Suck it. You loser.

He asked Ben, how's his mom doing? And boom,

he gets boot fucked through a door. Yep. And

then the principal, the world doesn't need your

kind of, I, this pissed me off so much right

here. Like I was bullied a lot as a kid. I got

beat up. More than once in high school, like

four guys followed me off the school bus this

one day and slapped me around or shoving snow

down my pants in the middle of winter. You know,

I didn't go to my first two classes because I

was just like traumatized hiding in a bathroom.

And when I went to some teacher asked me, where

was I? I told him what happened. And there was

this very much this apathy like this. Yeah. You

know, so the so the principal calls this guy.

Yeah, exactly. So the principal, they call Peter,

and Peter's late, so he says, sorry I'm late.

Thanks for coming, Mr. Paul Parker. Call me Peter.

Let's zoom in and talk about Peter Parker. Older,

adult, fatherly Peter Parker. Scruffy -looking

asshole. What? No! Scruffy -looking nerf herder!

No, he's a scruffy -looking asshole. Stop it,

he's not an asshole. Really? How Mr. Power and

responsibility is giving his son shit for? Okay,

admittedly he should get some shit for throwing

a guy through a goddamn door but sitting there

and You know, and I know it's because the trauma

of losing his wife in a horrible fashion But

yeah, he's like it was stupid. It was selfish

I was Ben's like I was protecting this kid and

he's like, well, how did that go for you? It's

like the hero has been Drained out of this man.

I understand happen but We literally have a Danny

moment from TMNT Uh -huh almost like Ben doesn't

like, you know bolt out of the vehicle He doesn't

have a sed vicious shirt on but yeah, yeah, but

no seriously go back I seriously I want to take

the time because I have something to say about

this Okay, the panel where Peter comes in, sorry

I'm late, thanks for coming Mr. Parker, call

me Peter. You look at him, I look at him, and

if I was not 400 and something pounds, that would

be me, right now, today. So, his right - A scruffy

looking nerf herder? Yes. Okay. Have you not

seen my pictures on Facebook? I haven't shaved

in over a year, unfortunately. TMI dude, TMI.

No, no, no. My face, you idiot! I know that!

I wasn't implying any other part of your body.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure you weren't. Anyway, point

is, look at his hair, look at his beard. Scruffy.

For me, personally, I have to use my left hand,

my left side for everything, because his cerebral

palsy is my right side. So the fact that his

right hand is the hook, I'm like, holy crap,

like I was just about to say, if I wasn't 450

pounds, Could almost be Peter Parker. I was there

could be Peter Parker, but like I just love the

way and let like you said You're right. We're

gonna get into this further, but He's a hero

who is got the hero sucked out of him and not

in a good way and literally he's wearing a black

shirt. I Think he's gonna dance anytime soon.

But yeah, you are absolutely right the next scene

in the car. It's definitely a yes How dare you

bring up bully Parker? I have worked hard for

years, and I have done the work and the therapy

to forget that movie exists. How dare you traumatize

me again, sir? Shame. Shame. You can't see me,

but I'm doing like the dance. I'm sitting here

doing the dance that the black suited Peter Parker

in Spider -Man. Anyway. And gets home. And his

powers kick in because he can't open a door and

he's like, fuck your door. And he just tears

this thing to pieces. And then when Aunt May

comes in and she's like, you want to explain

the front door? It called me names. Yeah, exactly.

And I mean, if that had been me, I probably would

have said. It was being insolent. Yeah, yeah,

but, you know, She's just like she knows yeah,

but she doesn't like it doesn't come out like

right now obviously and then we go to the next

day and He's got a crush. Well, no, what do you

mean? He's got a crush. Wait a minute. Oh, then

okay the net. Yeah. No, no, no, I'm still on

I'm still focusing on after he got in the house

and the picture of his mom that he has in his

arm But yeah, no, absolutely Yeah, the next day.

He's got a crush Faye Ito Yeah, he's he does

not I believe as he does not have the Riz as

kids today say Oh cuz no I know you call it charisma.

God damn it. I hate that His his Riz is whack

his drip is whack he bombs so hard Hey Generation

Alphas terminology, I fucking hate it Oh, God.

Sounds like Mike would rather be cadaverous in

this instance, eating hot dogs and talking to

some woman in a containment tube. Well, luckily,

my woman isn't in a containment tube, but yeah,

okay, sure. I know, I know. And I hear, oh, God,

the guy who voiced the question on Justice League.

Jeffrey Gomes. Thank you. I couldn't remember

the last name. I know the first name, but I was

going to say Jeffrey Wright, but that was Commissioner

Gordon in a different universe. That was the

watcher. And he's Commissioner Gordon. He's an

omniversal being. He can be whatever he wants.

He is, but he's the watcher first in my mind.

And your mind is not my mind moving on. And I

just I like the fact he's sitting there. He's

got this. Tree of food a thermos hot pot with

you know hot dogs He's sitting in like he's an

incel. He's this giant gothic cyborg incel Who's

been sitting in this room for 12 years apparently?

Yeah Talking to whoever this is in the tube and

we'll get to that then we go to wait Who is in

the tube? They don't establish that right now,

but it is the step. Wait a minute. Is that Mary

Jane? We'll find out. Mother, how did I miss

that? And so so we go to like, I don't know,

the next day or that afternoon, Peter's, you

know, he's a roving reporter. He's on assignment.

And. Like this is literally the guy like I know

power and responsibility. I know as he's talking

to aunt me Yeah, and like she's flat -out says

like I see things happening with him. I saw them

with you and Here's like eyes better off without

me, you know it I know it. Yeah, you know and

then Ben has this nightmare Like and we're talking

with a lot of blood and we're talking the elevator

scene in the shining levels of blood folks Yeah.

And you know what? So this is interesting to

me. So this page, page 25 or location 25 on the

digital here, that page of the six panels of

the blood. I am usually, I don't do horror. I'm

very queasy around blood, guts and gore. This

almost, I know it's not, I know it's not this,

but like this, the way that this is colored and

drawn and done. I know it's blood, but it looks

like paint to me. Like it just looks like. I

don't know but I get it if just think of the

scene the opening scene of blade at the blood

rave Yeah, pretty much. That's what this is.

But yeah ben wakes up on the ceiling at me comes

in now come down dear I have things to tell you

takes them to the uh, the parker attic You know

goes through the stuff and pulls out Peter's

rips his ripped uh top You know, and that's the

end of the first issue. I Like I've got the digital

trade again. They don't have alternate covers

No, what they do and they don't I think I don't

remember off the top That's the one thing that

did confuse me about this is because I know because

I Can usually tell when something is like hey,

this is the end of this in this trade go to the

next issue But I noticed this on on these covers

Like I'm looking here. I'm zooming in. Oh, no,

it doesn't have it. Okay I didn't see a number

on the cover until after five. The number, literally,

and this is the problem with this, and as someone

who is legally blind, visually impaired, this

is the problem with this, okay? And I've talked

about this with the Skybound Image Comics Transformer

stuff, and I'll talk about that, or I've already

talked about that on a different show. So for

me to see the number two next to Spidey's foot

here. I have to completely zoom in. I didn't

even notice it was there because the letter of

the number is white against a beige background.

Don't do that, comic people. If you're going

to have a beige background, you need a dark color

to shit. Like, literally, I didn't even see it.

Couldn't even, like... You're right. It doesn't

have alternate covers, which kind of sucks because

we're so used to hey This is an alternate cover

for issue one and then we know the next cover

is issue two and that does suck but the cover

in question is cadaverous and and spider on it

Peter it could be Peter, you know, it could be

Ben who knows just it's cadaverous fighting spider

-man It could be in the past could be in the

future. Who knows this opening page with cadaverous

is Very creepy. Yeah, just very very creepy and

it'll make sense further on down the line, you

know, but More importantly we get to this conversation

between May and Ben Intercut with a one -armed

photojournalist in a war zone. Yeah, and May's

like She's trying to make Ben understand why

Peter the way she is or why the way he is versus

Ben like absolutely hating his father and You

know, he leaves he goes to school Faye Spooks

him he Spider strengths his phone And all of

a sudden, versus the day before, and this is

where it's like, okay, something's off with the

young lady, because now she's all over him, and

she loves the fact that he's this, you know,

crouching nerd, hidden badass, because he's rolling

through a door. Yeah, she even says, and this

is the weirdest looking smile, and why does she

always have, okay, so the panel I'm looking at

is on location 34. It is the third panel on the

right. She always has paint or blood on her.

There's blood on her, what looks like to be red

paint or blood on her right shoulder, where she

says, don't be... She's an artist. I understand

she's an artist. I get that, but most artists

don't have paint on them all the time. Don't

be ashamed, dude. I mean, it takes a major, major

kahunas to kick some bully butt like that. You

did the right thing. What are you doing later?

Her smile in this picture in this image like

Creepy it's like Joker level creepy. Yeah Punchline

level not quite the Joker No, I'm just saying

the way that yeah, no, it's Joker. It's Nicholson

It really is be the way the the way his smile

tips up when he's the Joker kind of thing. Yeah

Very very Nicholson to me just the shape of her

mouth and order teeth the The teeth showing she

looks way too excited way too excited. You can

be excited but that's a little creepy is that

creepy or is the Ways like she can't know. I'm

a freak weirdo freak. I'm cool. I'm normal. I'm

cool. I'm normal and You know what? I think she's

into the whole freaks thing Ben cuz God No, no,

I got that I like you are we going to a party

like a costume party Dude on the marker. You'll

understand when we get there and she's got like

playing this all sly coy He's like, uh, I need

a costume. There's a costume. Please. Please.

Please. Don't be burnt. Don't be burnt. Ah Well,

he burned it Well, yeah, but he was hoping he

could get back in time to salvage it and then

maze like, you know He had more than one more

than one. I love I love that line May is one

of my favorite characters in this. Absolutely

love odd May. Yeah, no, and I was getting Lily

Tomlin vibes from Absolutely into the spider

verse. Absolutely with that all you ever have

to be is yourself Yep, you know, she's like,

huh, huh wink nod nudge nudge and then you know

phase like ready and then we immediately cut

to the next page cadaverous in okay either that's

uh more of his kids in all these jars or he's

collecting his own specimens i don't care to

know which i don't want this dude is creepy as

fuck yeah i eventually it'll make some kind of

sense in the story folks then then we go we see

uh the marker is uh You know, apparently, she's

this anarchist graffiti artist tagger. She clearly,

she says, I need new friends. My friend, Tricia,

she only eats homeless, like, exclusively. Oh

my god. Like, I love that, just, like, exclusively.

And she's just got, she's so far down the rabbit

hole of... Burn the cheerleader save the world

kind of Ron Roth She's a very she's not full.

Yeah. She's yeah. She's intense. She's not full

golf or anything like that She's not a golf girl

type. She kind of she's on the edge of that,

but it's like excuse me. Sorry. I'll edit that

part out Involuntary reflex. Yeah, she's not

a full -on golf girl She's kind of like goth

adjacent. She has an attitude like a goth a little

bit, but she's also an artist and she just wants

to. Yeah. Very emo. There you go. Very goth emo.

But, but I like you go to the next page. They

start tagging, uh, golden texts, which I imagine

as a tech company, she's putting predator on

there. Uh, and she's, she, she, she basically

gives Ben his version of Great power great responsibility.

Yeah, you know and then she kind of it's a Analogous

to the line behind the mask anyone can be spider

-man where she says these suits tell us anyone

can be a hero He's like you really think so and

then cheese it it's the fuzz and they book it

and then I can do some what are you? Oh my god,

and they swing off in a very classic classically

posed Spider -Man image of you know. Absolutely.

I guess she just spray paints and exclusively

candy apple red because all these candy apple

red spray cans fall out of her backpack and I

know she's called the marker but she's got a

very cat like look to this suit and you know

like father like son some men just like pussy.

Wow. Okay. I'm sorry. I apologize. I killed myself

out at the end of the recording. Wow. Damn. Yeah.

Anyway, back to the story. Um, yeah, I don't,

so she's, to me, she's like Felicia, Black Cat.

She's more loner. She's more, not sullen, but

she's more flirty loner than emo loner kind of

thing. And I see Faye as like emo loner kind

of thing. So she's clinging. So I kind of see

the example or the comparison here. But yeah,

so they swing off, they speed off with the swinging

and the winging and the whatever, and they get

to the next ledge where apparently they crash

into it. And then all of a sudden, there's a

Avengers painting there. Well, they swung right

into a billboard. Yeah, exactly. And then he's

like, I know this is a lot and it's new to me

too. And you okay. And she's like, hell yeah.

And she has like this. Sarah, I don't mind her

art. I'm not a big fan of it, but it's, it's

not by any means bad. It's, you know, it's like

Mike was saying about the smile and then, you

know, phase got this weird smirk. thing going

on. And then we go to Peter, who's now I'm assuming

he's out in the Middle East. They don't actually

establish what country he's gone to. And he is

like, what's going on over here? All these soldiers

are gathered and he sees his son swinging through

NYC and he's like, oh, shit. He's on TV. You

know, and I do outside of the certain facial

expressions on fake. I this is the first time

I'm seeing this artist stuff. I like her stuff.

I like the backgrounds. I like the color stuff

from, uh, is it VC? Karamanga or whatever his

name is? Their name is whatever. I don't know.

I don't remember off the top of my head. Karamagna,

yeah. Yeah, there you go. Like, I like all of

that. I like the art. And I can move past the

creepy smile on Ben's girlfriend here or whatever

she's supposed to be. But I like how this is

done. I really do. She's a friend? who's a girl

who's got high girlfriend potential. Yeah, there

you go. That's what it is. Yeah. So Ben, you

know, he's laying on the wall upside down. And

I guess something about the spider equilibrium

doesn't let the blood rush to your head. And

she's like sitting there and she's, you know,

Gaga for his cocoa puffs, because, you know,

her whole thing about, you know, damn the man

and, you know, save the world like she's all

into it and everything. And you know, she's riding

high on this adrenaline rush and we've got this

creepy insert of cadaverous smiling and we see

the Oscar tower and then we see the crater that

used to be the Oscar tower. Mm -hmm. And, you

know, she's like, this isn't some game, Ben.

We aren't just playing dress up. And he has like

that requisite, you know, hero moment where he

just looks at the camera and he's like, begrudgingly

accepts his destiny. Now, I would have to talk

to Mr. Abrams himself, but, you know, Ben goes

there and he casually lifts this VW bug -sized

boulder off of this guy, and, hey, everybody,

it's Greg Grunberg, J .J. Abrams' best friend,

because I'm almost certain that Sarah drew this

character to look like Mr. Grunberg. Oh, yeah,

definitely. Yeah. Which is cool. I mean, it's

like it's amazing. It's the happy Gilmore of

JJ Abrams universe Mercer a happy Hogan. That's

what I meant to say. Yeah, happy Hogan. So and

the next thing we know the Off -brand Cyber God

xenomorphs are there and you know, you don't

seem to be very good at this I'm trying my best

and then the spider sense You feel something

tingling? Yeah, yeah And he almost gets taken

out by the cyber morse. That's what I'm going

to call him. There you go. And he was like, you

know, get some to the cops and the emergency

workers that he's pulled the crane down on these

things. And he goes home and walks in the door.

And it's like every movie you've ever seen where

the kids been out when he wasn't supposed to.

And he sneaks in and he gets busted by his parental

units. And it's just like. You just hear the

bum bum bum. Yeah, the this the flow in this

story is probably my favorite thing about it.

Like, I think it flows very well thus far. Yeah,

we are and again, not a fan of the art, but that's

not it's not a negative. I'm just. You know,

it's it's not like she sucks like the characters

are all well designed. She has a certain design

style It's you know, I can't remember what uh

The what animation studio that the men in black

series? Uh that did the men in black animated

series, but they Yeah, they uh, they did another

animated series later on and I noticed how You

know the model care the character models were

very similar to the character models in men in

black so like it's well put together, you know,

the you haven't really talked about You know

the the colors and the inks like Sarah Pichelli

also does inks with the Elisabetta D 'Amico and

Dave Stewart on colors The colors are great.

Like I really like this, you know, you got some

Firm lines, but not hard lines if you get my

meaning soft color palette not quite watercolors,

but not You know BAM in your face speaking of

BAM in your face. He is getting cyber -stocked

by Faye because you see his text phone the dude

in the news said you saved him. Okay. Okay. Okay

I'm coming over and I was like, you know, I I

hear the psycho music in the background just

Yeah And you can hear Ben and May going at it.

And this is like every parent in every teen movie

that has ignored their kid until... You know

the the moment of truth like this and he's like

how dare you show him the suit and she's like,

bitch Please you haven't been a father to this

boy in years You know, okay aunt mc didn't actually

say that but right but it's it's I can totally

hear in my head rosemary harris or sally field

saying that Rosemary harris only rosemary harris

What's her name? Tom Holland's Aunt May. Why

am I blanking so hard right now? Yeah, I could

totally hear Marissa Tomei dropping an F -bomb

like that. But no, it's just when I think the

reason I hear it's just there's something magical

about somebody you don't expect to swear and

then you hear him drop an F -bomb like when I

watched the Fright Night remake years ago and

David Tennant played the Peter Vincent in that

movie. And you hear the doctor. You know Uncle

Scrooge The fugitoid from Ninja Turtles 2012

cursing like that I was like I had a big ol smile

on my face and a warm feeling in my heart, you

know, so you got it Wait, you mentioned the animated

series for men in black According to take with

a grain of salt Wikipedia. It was Adelaide productions

under Amblin Entertainment Columbia tri -star

television. Yeah for the animated series Yeah.

I can't remember what other, I mean, it's just,

that's - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have Peter

is, you know, I like the cover. It's very basic,

well put together solid covers, which convey

something that's happening in the story or will

happen in the story. It's a couple of cyber morphs

standing over Ben and he's laying face down in

a puddle. So this to me for issue three as we

start issue three here folks I know it's the

cyber morse the xenomorph drone whatever dudes

but literally seeing him laying there and seeing

all the black under it I was like No, don't stop.

We do not need venom in this. I Think that that

is a masterful ass pull there First two issues,

no color Mike, it's not a symbiote But look at

the zoom. It's black. It's shadows reflected

in oily water. I know. And oily black water liquid

tar substance to me is venom. But it's not. Thank

God. Oily water. There's no tar involved in its

shadows distorted by the ripples in the water.

Moving on. So yeah, Ben is listening to his dad

and Aunt May and he's doing some heavy thinking

and Peter comes in. And he tries to be a father.

And I'm quoting, when I say this, I'm quoting

Team Forest or Dragon Ball Bridge. It's very

much Vegeta in trunks. Boy, don't make me come

up there and be a parent first time for everything.

Because Ben is. He's traumatized from age four

or five. You know, like he doesn't really remember

his mom All he knows is his dad became this bitter

withdrawn shell of a human being He's freaking

out because he's at this time in his life where

your body goes through a lot of changes and weird

things start to happen and fortunately for most

of us it's We stand at attention at odd times

and there's weird hair growing out of our bodies,

Ben's crawling on walls, and he can feel when

someone's about to punch him in the back of the

head. That's right. And Peter's trying to be

a dad, and when I say that, it's not like he's

trying to be a dad as if, you know, okay, yeah,

right, too little, too late. Like, he honestly

cares for his son. I don't for a moment think.

Oh, yeah. doesn't care for his son, but he comes

in and he's like, well, I can't protect you,

blah, blah, blah. And Ben's like, I thought I

was a monster and you weren't here. Get the fuck

out. And then the house explodes. Yeah. And then

the house explodes. Before all of that, though,

when he goes into the room, I was expecting the

conversation to be something different. When

the panel is, when Ben is upside down on the

ceiling and Peter's sitting on the bed and he

said thin walls, huh? Like, literally, I thought

that was gonna be the start of a different conversation.

I like how Peter tries to talk to him, and Ben's

like, don't talk about her, shut up. I love all

of this. I think this is great. This is one of

the most perfectly executed father -son, like,

parent -child conversations they've ever seen

comments. because this is all legit real and

it's a confusing, messy time in both their lives

and they've both got this trauma that they haven't

even come close to resolving or working on in

12 goddamn years. This had to happen in order

for them to move on and heal. I had conversations

like this with my parents growing up. Where I

was angry and they're just trying to help and

it's just not working and then we get an Abrams

version of May praying in the first Raimi movie

and Goblin comes through the wall and Peter gets

Wolverine He does and I like how they're kind

of with the appearances of cadaverous They're

all kind of leading up to this because he's been

watching TV screens and he sees thing and it's

you know, it's like Imagine agent Smith sitting

behind a desk in an office watching very much

looking for scenes of neo Yeah, very much. I

absolutely love this and I like that It was you

he fought like I could hear sir Ian McDermid

like this dude has I know I heard so yeah No,

this dude is talking like the goddamn Emperor.

Yeah, absolutely. He is most definitely It's

like you led us to the key. Thank you and Ben

has these flashbacks and next thing you know,

he's sitting out front of the homestead and you

know phase there and you know, we're I Think

I was talking a little negatively definitely

was talking a little negatively about Faye but

I mean this is you know right out of the playbook

of Cute artistic potentially girlfriend person

coming around on like getting over the adrenaline

high and Actually showing a human emotion and

Ben's this little sitting there. Uh, uh, uh,

you know, I don't do yeah in the in the panel

she raises his mask up and He's she asks him

what happened it. It was here. It took dead.

What did? cadaverous Like, you know that panel

and I have to say again on the art, even though

I know that's blood I don't understand why we

had to make it an X on his cheek This is not

X marks the spots, but he goes on to say I couldn't

move. I didn't know what to do. I don't know

what to do and He says I think I might and then

we go faces. Oh she says that I I looked at the

yeah, you're right. It's coming out of her mouth

Yeah, they they do In a teen superhero movie

of which there have been a few normally the kids

decide to break into the villain's lair and confront

him directly No, they actually go to the authorities

ie they go into Stark Plaza and demand to see

Tony and the you know, not mrs. Arbogast who

is the Old lady kind of a battle axe secretary

that Tony had for years in the comics who is

an absolute joy played by Tyne Daly in the Tom

Holland Spider -Man movies. And I love the threat

that Faye utters. You don't get Tony Stark here

right now. You're going to be canned faster than

tomato soup. And all in my head was Kelso in

that 70s show. Burn! And then these iron drones

in some pretty slick suits, because that's the

security they have. They literally pick them

up by their arms and dump them outside. And they

get confronted by Riri Williams, Ironheart. Yep.

And oh, God, what happened to Peter? Yeah. No.

No want. No want. No want. No need. No need scared.

This is not a horror comic. Stop it. It's too

late Mike. We're well into the horror comic.

I Know so if you want the Mandalorian Peters

in a tube he's his Midsection his guts been ripped

open. He's got all these tubes feeding in and

like connecting to him think of when Fennec shan

got her cyber upgrade in the Mandalorian and

she's got like the the Robo guts like Ming -Na

Wen's character That wasn't as graphic as this

is. No, I'm just trying to give people a frame

of reference. Think H .R. Giger by way of Hellraiser.

And you're about there. And then Peter's eyes

open. He's got this ashen skin and this bloodshot

eyes. And it's like, I swear to God, if Ben has

to fight a zombified father, one, that would

be cool. Two, that would be gross. And three,

I'll be drawing parallels to Godzilla, the animated

series where Godzilla fought Cyber Godzilla in

the Monster Wars trilogy. We go to, I know, Valhalla

Cemetery and Faye's giving this Pepper Potts

from Iron Man Armored Adventures style info.

Yes, I love that We find that remember the Great

Fall and like the Avengers are clearly dead And

they go in this secret entrance down down down

I love Riri's like the kids are just going back

and forth. She literally doesn't say anything

until Prepare yourselves. He's an obsessed unhinged

drunken narcissist and unfortunately he might

be helpful And then we go in and I love the fact

they have the rots, the hot rod from the first

Iron Man movie. We get a gray haired ponytail,

sunglasses, indoor drunk Tony Stark, who has

one of the best lines in this series. This is

an adorable security breach. Yes, yes it is.

Now I need to hear Robert Downey Jr. say that.

You know what, I hear I do hear Robert Downey

Jr. I can't remember the name of the voice actor.

I'll look it up later. It's not - Robert Hayes.

Sorry? Talking about the 94 Iron Man series,

Robert Hayes was Iron Man. No, I was thinking

of the - I could hear Adrian Pastar who voiced

Tony Stark in the first three seasons of Avengers

Assemble. Right. I could hear him. There's the

guy that came on afterwards who was doing a Tony

Starr - an RDJ impression. That was Mick Wingert,

I think. Yeah, I can definitely hear that voice,

but you know, it's mostly Artie J, little Adrian

Pastar, and what Tony does, like this dude is

just, this is, he autographs Ben's cheek because

he thinks he's a fanboy. Yeah. And the thing

that this made me laugh the first time I read

this was there's this, Tumblr post who this guy

talking about he met already J after Iron Man

one and two and He didn't have anything to for

him to autograph except for like this. I think

it's like a $1 bill and Apparently this has been

confirmed that he's like, are you asking me to

do it already? J is like, are you asking me to

deface government property? Yes, gimme. Yep.

It's totally that moment and Tony does his best

to absolve himself of any responsibility in this.

He's just like, no, no, no, don't want, don't

want, living down here for a decade, happy in

my bunker, don't need the outside world, go,

go, go, shoo, go, go, go. And then Ben's like,

Ariris, look who I brought. And he wipes out

on the floor, this is cold. And he realizes who

Ben is. He, oh my God. He's like, what happened?

Ben starts crying cause he's like, it is so totally

unfair that Ben has to deal with this. Like he

just lost his dad. He hasn't even begun to deal

with the trauma of not having his mom. And we

get this quick flashback to the lab and there's

a cyber got cyber morph. Who's goes up with her

claw and I ish. She's etches. the human stomach

on the glass for some reason. Yeah, that was

a little creepy. And, you know, Tony goes to

work. He pulls up a pizza from under a bunch

of stuff. And I could only think of that. Do

you like penicillin on your pizza? Yep. Yep.

Wait, is this? It is. That's why she that's why

the xenomorph cyber morph did this. That's the

MJ cyber morph. I think that's why she did it.

I'll find out I think foreshadowing But So, you

know Tony reactivates Friday and I totally hear

The the Irish voice yeah, I can't can't can't

remember the actress, you know and Tony gets

kind of spacey and Reeve's like I've seen this

before where have I seen this is Stark tech And

I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, it's totally Star Tech.

It's a stupid name, by the way. It's my technology.

And then Tony, you know, because he's coming

out of this alcoholic haze, he's like, is that

a birthmark on your face? Yeah. And he's like,

you signed it. Remember, no time. Technically,

only two people in the world still know how to

build this armor. One's a billionaire playboy

philanthropist. Hello. And the other hates her

boss and wears pantsuits. I am so close to quitting.

This is totally Artie J and Gwyneth Paltrow levels

of camaraderie. And then Ben's like, you know,

well, if you didn't make it, who didn't phase

like it doesn't matter who made it matters is

finding it. Don't you have sensors and tech launch

satellites in the space? Shoot lasers, robots.

And I love how Tony is like he's admitting to

all this stuff. But he's still like putting it

off. It's not my responsibility. I live in a

basement. I talked to a virtual AI. You know,

and he's just refusing to do anything. And then

smash. What was that? Nothing. Stark. Okay. Maybe

something so super fast. Tell me like as fast

as you can, how would they follow you? Why would

they still follow you? I don't know. He said

something about my dad being a key and. friends

we need to go now yeah and it's just going into

you know this next scene and it basically confirmed

that is we thought it was mary jane but it turns

out that the lady in the tube is this lady that

was connected to the founding of stark industries

Right, right, right. What's her name? Oh, God,

they say what her name is. Menka. Menka. That's

what, yeah. Because it was Menka, this other

dude, and then one other dude. So this is so

silly. I'm loving this comic, folks. I'm not

hating on it whatsoever. I'm just making an analogy

here. These three people, this woman, the guy

that's the cadaverous dude. the other third dude

that's supposed to be in this somewhere wherever

the hell he is it's basically the terrific trio

from Batman Beyond the magma the water lady and

the other guy another masterful ass -pull Mike

I I approve I'm used to those you know yeah so

yeah Tony's selling like they're developing the

key which is this Radical medicine or medical

technology involving pods, and basically it's

said in conversation that the cyber malarfs are

the people who came out of there, but they were

rotten, they were withered. Peter was involved

because it was based on his grandfather Richard

Parker's work. Who's I think is the third guy?

Yeah, and then you men Minka Tross and Ivan Renz

I'll give you one guess as to who Ivan is in

the story and as they're all making their way

out to the car is this it would be a really cool

scene in the movie as the the heroes are trying

to escape and the bad guy is doing this monologue

and this bolt of lightning Oh foreshadowing blows

up the limo and we see these cyber goth Marvel

zombies That are the Avengers who apparently

were only five people in this universe. We got

you know Captain America Thor who looks metal

as fuck with that axe. He does. Yeah the cyber

Hulk and cyber widow mm -hmm, and you know that's

we end with the team like what the As yeah seen

And I do love that last panel of you know, this

is metal AF album cover material here with the

absolutely it is Absolutely, you know this I

didn't think that that was widow I thought that

was MJ, but no, I know I know we're getting to

that but wow, but yeah I mean you saw her on

the billboard and then the statues there in the

park and The the look of sorts like I don't think

they based it on this but there is this sci -fi

horror movie called, I think it was Hardware,

where Dermot Mulrooney from The Practice is in

this scrounger in the future and he finds this

busted old robot head in a junkyard and gives

it to his girlfriend who's like a metal artist.

And it turns out this thing is like, you know,

12th gen cyber... Commando which wakes up and

starts building like this rickety looking body

for itself and it looks kind of like something

from the movie virus with Jamie Lee Curtis and

just all wires and exposed bits and looks very

much like these guys as we get into a Probably

not in this story image on the fourth issue cover

with spider -man fighting a giant spider Mm -hmm.

Oh, it's in here. He fights the spider in here,

you know, and we get into the story and we see

Minka has been resurrected by Ivan Mm -hmm. You

know, he's like we can be together again Tell

me you're happy Mm -hmm and happy. Yeah, it's

frozen through a wall Well, what she's like have

what's under my skin behind my eyes like she's

I did it for you. It was all for you. And he's

just standing there and it's like that moment

in any horror movie where the villain has, you

know, it's where analogous to when the monster

meets the bride in Bride of Frankenstein and

he's like happy because there's someone like

me and she's like, what the fuck am I? And I

like how they end that page with they're gonna

fucking kill us. And then, you know, the Cyber

Avengers are going after the team, and whoo,

the Hulk's got a good pitching arm because Riri

goes flying. Yes, she does. That's a fastball

special if I've ever seen one. Oh, yeah, 100%.

He's like, what do we do? Do we have a plan?

No idea. I think we should have one, says Faye.

And Tony's like, Thor, buddy, we didn't know.

We thought she died. We did. And God, I love

the design of these these guys. And yeah, they're

so good. I like Mink Faye's her her hood spa,

her her moxie, because she's standing on top

of the Thor statue with her mask on and Ben's

got his max on. And this feels like half an idea.

It's in progress. Yeah. And here we have definitive

age here, 15, 12. So he was three years old at

the funeral. He was three years old at the funeral.

Okay. I don't know, man. Like I said, I don't

know. I barely have armpit hair. Yeah. Well,

like the funeral scenes at the beginning of the

book that we talked about, he just looks... Okay.

Family all of my family. Oh and most families

I've ever known in my 44 years of being on this

planet Will say oh you've gotten bigger or you've

grown or this or that they don't mean you've

gotten fat They mean oh my god I can't believe

how big you what big you are now how grown you

are now compared to the last time I saw you so

at the beginning of the book when we see Three

-year -old Peter because we can definitively

say that he was three and so what? Sorry, Ben.

Damn it. Ben, Peter, they're all dead. Doesn't

matter. Anyway, point is, is to me, looking at

those images of the kid, he looked like he was

too big to be three years old. But since they've

defined it, okay, fine. I'm good. And we go back

to Kadavris's lab and looks like he had a...

Well, he's still lying on the floor and then...

Minka comes up and she's starting to turn into

something. Yeah. And Peter, I don't know if he's

conscious or just the cat, the artist drove like,

uh, he's like this dead blank stare and he might

actually be dead. We don't know yet. Um, Ivan's

trying to explain what, what happened. You know,

why did it, you know, he, he blames, uh, yeah,

we blame Stark and Richard Parker. Yeah, and

then we see you know when I mentioned the bride

earlier. It's not all that fall off because we

see Ivan digging up her corpse Yep, and you know

he he uses Peter's DNA from the fight in the

beginning and It turns out his blood was the

key because I guess Richard used his DNA in some

way in the You know when they were developing

the pods You know, a hundred years ago, what

they mentioned. Also you're, you're sucking this

blood out of the snow and it's filthy post fight

snow. Probably not the best sample, just saying.

Yeah, no. And then, you know, Peter's just floating

in his back to tank with his cyber guts hanging

out and well, uh, Minka breaks him open and yeah,

she's turning into a spider lady. Yeah, she is.

I mean, when you first see her morphing, she,

she looks like, you know, some Barely consider

the flesh is barely holding the demon within

back and in here She start looking like a reject

from a hell raiser movie. Yep. I got to go back

for one second though Yeah, yeah because I so

hear Christopher Daniel Barnes from 94 in my

head No, not that but yes that voice that that

guy This is a bit awkward. I'm very naked. I

so hear 94 Peter in my head. You know, I can

hear that too. I might also say two other great

voices of Spider -Man, the great Neil Patrick

Harris and Josh Keaton. Josh Keaton, 100%. But

I could definitely hear that. Christopher Daniel

Barnes, yeah. Yeah, but I definitely, I think

I personally hear NPH. But Minka is like, you

know, initially she rejected what she was and

then she's like, you know what, I kind of dig

it. And he's talking like my bones, my body's

shifting bones, stretching, cracking. And she's

like, he doesn't have enough juice left to purify

the key. And then cadaverous is like, but there

is another. And then we see Tony, you know, he's

waiting. Does he really say that there's another?

Yes. Does Cadaverous really say that? Oh, yes.

Oh, motherfucker. They crossed over Star Wars

and Marvel. And it's a passing reference at best.

Tony's running and the kids are running from

Cyber Hulk. And, you know, he's about to get

the get John Walker in Falcon and the Winter

Soldier by Cap when, oh, thank God, Riri is alive

and she didn't get splattered against a parking

lot like I thought she did. She's got the cyber

heart, or cyber heart, the iron heart suit. Ben

webs up Hulk, and it's like, I love the Hulk,

but in my head I hear a Hulk voice, you know,

Lou Ferrigno, Mark Ruffalo, what have you. Just

you hear the roar and you translate it into English,

Hulk hate PewDieBug, man. Hulk also stuck. What

I love about this entire comic with the spider

powers, We are thwipping everywhere. I love it.

Yeah. And Riri, like, Marker is just blasting

Natasha in the face with her blue paint. Nice

to see she's got more than one color. Riri throws

the Hulk into Natasha's statue, breaks the head

off. It sounds like, because the way they draw

the zombies when they're done, raging. They're

drawn to see, like, you look at the speech, the

lettering, and it's like, ah! But then you see

Natasha for a second, my face, right before she

gets splattered by her own head. We go back to

the lab, and Minka is fully turned. Almost into

a giant spider and this is where I had to work

really hard at holding my arachnophobia in control

because Same I couldn't watch the movie arachnophobia

until my middle 20s without without flinching

hard whenever a spider moved, you know, I watched

that movie Okay. I will okay. We got to talk

about arachnophobia for a minute because I watched

that movie when I was I don't know Really little

did arachnophobia come out. I know it was in

the 80s anyway Watched that movie when I was

really little like six seven or eight somewhere

in there The only scene that I laughed at that

I actually liked was the nail gun scene every

other scene in that movie Scared the hell out

of me. I could think of one other scene You might

like where John Goodman shows up in his not quite

Ghostbusters 2 uniform. Let's rock. Yeah, there

you go you know, and then was a Delbert. He starts

going ham with the insecticide and crushing spiders

and just being a badass is only Mr. Goodman can.

Yeah, we go back. Yeah, we go back to lab. Minka

is she's got the body of a spider with the face

of a human, which is just nightmare inducing.

She's now gone completely around the bend. It's

like, you know, here, here. pitiful, you're foul,

you're weak -willed, you know, just think of

like every harpy wife and what's the... Have

you ever seen Death Becomes Her? Yep. Yeah, it's

like that scene right before like Glenn Close.

Was it Glenn Close? Yeah, Glenn Close. Is berating

Bruce Willis and then she's like, come on, you

loser. And then he snaps, he just takes the finger

and boop, over the edge. And I was wrong. I need

to make sure. So that way when I edit this, I

don't have people coming after me. Arachnophobia

came out in 1990. I was 10. I saw it a year later

on VHS when I was 11. And it scared the crap

out of me because I don't do spiders, spiders

whatsoever. Sorry. I was wrong. It was Meryl

Streep. Ah, yes. 1992. Death Becomes Her is Meryl

Streep. Yeah. So we go back to the aftermath

and, you know, Avengers Park has been reduced

to a fine rubble. Yep. You know, Peter's like,

I got to find my dad, I got to save him. Tony's

like, neurochips, old Stark tech, they use to

control their test subjects and markers like

OGs and, you know, Spider -Man and the Brooklyn

Bridge is like Godzilla flattening Tokyo. It's

just not right if you don't have it. Yep. Cause

we see Peter, you know, webbed up, which is a

new thing for him. Uh, they're like, I am sure

some reporter is going to say it was a giant

spider and there's Spiderman. It was his fault.

And then they're like that. They couldn't. It's

her. It's Minka. And then fail all of a sudden,

like she's freaking out. Cause it's just dawning

on her into the bag full of crazy that she is

willingly dove head first into. And she'll kill

you or eat you or something equally gross like

putting babies in you. They'll make you explode.

And thus validating my assertion that these are

off -brand xenomorphs. Absolutely. I never said

they weren't. It's like, you can't do this. I

don't like you using my words against me. Don't

do it. Watch me. And like father like son, makes

with the daring do. Yeah, makes with the daring

do. Yeah, and and I like how Peter's sitting

there. It's almost like Peter B Parker in the

spider -verse movies like just right there It's

like hey spider -man. Hey, how you doing? Yeah,

I'm a little stuck right now Yeah, and then this

giant talking spider. It's like all you have

to do is ask Super fugly. Yeah super yeah fugly

to the max and At this point, she doesn't really

look like a spider. She just looks like a huge

tick Yeah, and you know Ivan's watching from

his headquarters and it feels disingenuous to

call him cadavers because he's clearly not the

villain anymore, right? He's gone from being

dr. Frank. It's time to being you know Igor and

You know the the SWAT team shows up and starts

attacking Minka spider or spider Minka and I'm

wondering if they're Code Blue, which is an in

-universe SWAT team that is exclusively called

out to superhuman events. Maybe, deep cut. Ben,

in the meantime, while Spider Minka does her

best King Kong, Ben is fighting a swarm of cybermorphs.

Yep. And Peter keeps telling him to run. He's

like, I got this, dad, I got this. And then he's

finally, my boy, as the cyber morphs knock him

out and carry him off. And then we get this sweet,

we do have a variant cover here. It's a beautiful,

beautiful painted artwork by Gabriel Delato.

And then we get the base cover, which is Ben

over Peter looking back at a bunch of cyber morphs

in the background. Yeah, and and I know what

you said about the white numbering there and

I I do agree with you on that but I dig how all

the covers in the trade have that arch of Yeah,

yeah, no, no, I love that all of them like okay,

so so this fifth issue This was the first time,

when I read this, this was the first time I noticed

there was numbers on the cover pages. And then

I had to go back to the other covers, to issue

four, to issue three, to issue two, and all that

stuff, tissue, wow, tissue two, holy crap, what

the hell am I talking about? But like I said,

I think it's issue three that I had the cover

issue, the cover problem with. Let me just scroll

fast here, come on. No, I don't know. Whatever

the beige one was, I think it was probably issue

two. But the point is, is that, yeah, these numbers

are very hard to see in the trade. And it's not

just Marvel that does this kind of stuff. Like

I said earlier in the show, Image Comics, Skybound

Entertainment under Image Comics, they are also

doing this with the Transformers book currently.

It's not a bad thing. It's just I wish it was

visual. I wish I was actually able to see. What

it says but it is what it is. Well, we open with

young Ben Parker Yeah, and you know at the funeral

and a post funeral because You know, it's the

day that his dad walked out of his life and you

get the not justification But you get the logic

that Peter was working with, you know, you saw

what happened me that thing wants me There's

no stopping him. The Avengers are gone. I'm a

danger to my own son and you know, it's you you

asked to be sent an assignment as I'm asking

you to watch my boy and You know, it's a very

I think it's a very selfish thing that Peter

did But it's understandable given the trauma.

Yeah, and that's the thing was like I Don't believe

that there are true like the odd time. I don't

believe people are inherently assholes you know

everyone is everyone's decent till proven otherwise,

but You shouldn't judge people when they've gone

through shit and they're doing something nasty

and you know, I You make called him a bad father

and an asshole earlier But you know, I understand

why and once you get to this point You will understand

why you don't have to like it, but you can at

least understand. Yep, and then Ben wakes up

And he's got cyber, well, not cyber guts, but

he's got all these hoses hooked into his guts

to, you know, suck out his sweet, sweet life

juice as cadavers looms over him and surrounded

by cyber morphs. And he's like, Ben is like,

no, what's going on? You know and it was all

for her wasn't it was all for you Davian. It

was all for you It's the Omen go watch it. It's

a great horror movie Your searchers she died

this was all for her taking my dad killing my

mom blowing up Oscar was that all to be with

Minka and cadavers silence Mm -hmm. I said silence

Yep, and then Ben Being the natural -born smart

ass that he is like his father before him. Mm

-hmm knows that he's he's Sussed it out that

you know, this is what he is and he starts intentionally

egging on cadaverous and then he realizes he

overplayed his hand a little bit because cadaverous

puts this cyber hand on his face. I will crush

your skull Mm -hmm, and he's like, could you

save my dad? and the MJ Morph rescues Ben, grabs

the syringe filled of purified Ben juice that's

going to heal everybody, and forget what exactly

happens to the rescue Morph here, but her head's

working, like she's going against her programming,

so she's suffering pain, and she's like, you

know leave me before I turn back into his thing

and you know kind of have this like end of jedi

moment where you know does this hurt or does

this help and you know it's like we got to do

something i mean don't we have a plan besides

running i just saved your life gratitude would

be nice and then then suddenly i'm like the running

plan and then iron man to the rescue nope good

old iron man And so, you know, Ironheart goes

up to fight Spider Minka. Clearly, Faye, I mean,

the marker has no concept of the word mortality

because she, like, clearly this woman, this girl

is not well in the head. And I don't mean that

in a negative way. It's just like, clearly, woman,

you are climbing a hundred feet in the air on

a giant spider web while your new friend is fighting

a giant... Spider spider. Mm -hmm You've skipped

some levels in the relationship. Yeah, really

And then Ben and the team show up, you know,

oh thank god my I need my friends alive And then

Peter's like I thought she said you didn't have

friends son that was before dad Mm -hmm. It hurts

to talk and breathe and blink I'm so old. I love

that. I screenshotted that. That is so me. Absolutely.

I want to skip ahead just a little bit because

I love when Peter is finally free. This will

save you, restore you to what you were. You're

not just some soldier, a child of Cadavris. Why'd

you help my son? Who are you? I broke down and

I'm going to try not to break down when I say

this. I think you know, tiger. God damn it, JJ.

Motherfucker. I'm calling this an emotional lens

flare. Oh, yes. This is why this story, to me,

is better than Dark Web. Right fucking here.

This fucking line. Oh, my God. No, you didn't

Yes, they did. Yes, they did but damn and yeah,

holy crap Yeah, and while this is happening well,

no less actually less important in the background

Minka is You know body slam the bridge Everyone

drops Ben drops the syringe Yeah, I love Riri's

just I'm still battling the same monster in case

anyone cares And then we have the no, I am your

father moment with MJ and Peter is this cadaverous

shows up. Give me the key. Don't have it. She

does. Yeah. You injected me, Tiger. No. How dare

you steal my sacrifice out from under me. And

at this point, Minka has totally turned into

a tick. She is not a spider. She is a goddamn

tick. She's a goddamn tick. Yeah. But the thing

is like of course Peter is gonna save MJ That's

what he fucking does like Absolutely Like oh

my god Yeah, and I do love the moment where you

wouldn't I don't know where Faye got this gun

from Yeah, but she's got this giant and I know

I truly try not to swear too much when I do the

show But she's got this giant dirty hairy fuck

-off gun. Yep, that she's like click clickety

click click. Why is it shooting the safeties?

She gets slapped by Minka who then gets slapped

by a partially healed MJ who I guess like the

whole red veiny stuff is part of the whatever

cyber process cadavers used on her. I was like,

Peter is okay. 37 bones fractured, three major

organs failing. He's dying. Yeah. And I don't

damn it, Peter. This is the thing that almost

made me cry. Like they have this moment of catharsis

and revelation and Peter one, like he shoves

them off the bridge, like the beginning of the

story. Yep and blows up. Yeah, we go to it's

another funeral Uh -huh. I and I do have to notice

when you go back to the page right now Peter's

like now let's get going and he shoves them and

Everyone has the spider sense lightning bolts

around their head. Yep. I love that and just

that and that shot of Peter and Mary Jane looking

at Ben right before they get shoved off by Peter

I don't know if Sara Pichilli did this on purpose,

but... Oh, God, what's his name? Jim from The

Office, married to Emily Blunt. Oh, that guy.

Ah, God, brain farting so hard. Hey, Google,

who's married to Emily Blunt? John Krasinski.

Yeah, damn. Anyway, yeah, it looks very much

like John Krasinski there, which I thought was

really cool, because I always thought John Krasinski

could have played Spider -Man. You know or at

least voice him in a cartoon because he's got

that very sarcastic kind of voice Yeah, but yeah,

so it's after the few ben's You know just doing

some dishes trying to keep busy letting his mom,

you know go through the process May walks in

with a familiar looking suitcase. Yeah And we

have established now that well ben's gonna be

spider -man and mary jane's gonna be spider spider

-woman or spinneret or something something like

that and I Do love when they end comics like

this is you know quote -unquote sequel bait and

I don't have one yet What's that? They haven't

done one yet. I said sequel bait. I know but

I'm saying I want a fucking sequel That's what

I'm saying that doesn't guarantee a sequel in

fact I would guarantee it's never gonna happen,

but I love sequel bait. It's like the Neo flying

off at the end of the matrix or the DeLorean

going back to the future at the end of the original

back to the future You know, it's never too late

because they're talking about you know, you have

to you get second chances in life It can change

you you have to be who we are even when it hurts

and then we get a couple of That's the end of

the story. We get a couple of really good alternate

covers the first ones by Ed McGinnis and Laura

Martin and I have been a lifelong fan of Ed McGinnis

like I Originally came in contact with his art

through a Wolverine annual in the 90s where he's

in Japan and It was during the time where he

was wearing like the bandana cowl mask and he

had the bone claws. And he gets in this adventure

where he ends up fighting a silver samurai and

the red Ronin, which is this giant Jaeger sized

robot from the Marvel Godzilla comic. Right.

And he's always had like a very solid, like very

anime, very kind of chunky art style. He's toned

down and he's perfected his craft now. Yeah.

because you see this sweet cover with Spider

-Man fighting a bunch of cybermorphs. We get

a decent cover by Jason Poland. We get a pretty

good cover from Berto Ramos, who I think is a

vastly underrated comic. Yeah, I love Ramos.

I love his stuff. And he's one of my favorite

Spider -Man artists. He's up there. We get a

Chip Kid cover, which is eh. I mean, it kind

of looks like a graffiti piece, so it could be

the marker cover. We get a Sarah Pacelli variant.

So, you know, when we said earlier, there weren't

any very didn't look like there are any variants.

Yeah, there are. What we were saying was, if

you don't remember from an hour ago or so, folks,

or however, how long it is since we said that

what we said was normally in these trades in

the trade paperback collected editions in the

soft covers and sometimes even in the hard covers,

when you get to the end of issue one, you usually

see a variant cover of issue one, and then you

see the issue two, sorry, main cover. So that's

what we were saying about how there weren't cover

split ups, but all of the covers are in the most

of it, if not whatever. It's just not set up

in the usual way. Yeah, it's not set up in the

usual way. We get a quartet of Sarah Pichelli

and Dave Stewart covers at the end. A couple

of these variants right at the end. These are

all deep cut Spider -Man lore. Covers like there

is a 20 and issue or 2020 variant, which is a

reference to you know Marvel 2020 which is where

Iron Man 2020 Arnold Stark comes from we get

a sweet Giuseppe Kevin Coley Edgar Delgado 2099

variant cover because Miguel granted this is

how long ago did this come out? Oh Wow, not even

that long ago only like five years I thought

it was a bit longer. But I think my favorite

out of these rando alternate covers at the end

is Peter Let Himself Go, Spider -Man. Yes. And

they say it's a Marvel's X variant, which is

a reference to the Earth -X trilogy of the 90s,

where it's in the future, and everyone's mutants

are in humans or something. Reed Richards is

Dr. Doom and he lives inside a hermetically sealed

giant cyber or giant iron man suit. Yeah. So

yeah, overall, I like the story as we get into

our ratings here. Why don't you spell out the

ratings for us? Oh boy, the ratings. Well, the

ratings haven't really changed. They've just

kind of evolved since we did an update on the

Geekcast Radio Universal Rating System, which

is now called the Geek Meter, as I'm waiting

for the website to load. The Geekometer? No,

we couldn't do that because of other legal issues.

But we have technically the same ratings. We

do use half points because that counts. 5 .0,

4 .5, 4 .0, 3 .5, yeah, whatever. 5 .0 is masterpiece.

This one's a game changer, genius in every way.

It smashes expectations and leaves you speechless.

Generations will talk about it. Must experience.

4 .5 is remarkable. Top of the class. Fans of

the genre would be crazy to miss this. It has

a few flaws, but they're dwarfed by its awesomeness

a huge leap forward. 4 .0 is really good. High

quality fun. There are some issues, but they

won't ruin your experience You might even forgive

them on a rewatch or reread or whatever then

we have 3 .5 good It's a mixed bag, but the good

stuff outweighs the bad stuff There might be

one amazing element and lots of fun moments that

make the flaws easier to swallow They are not

deal -breakers though, but they do hold it back

3 .0 is average. Meh, it's not the bad, but it's

not that bad, but it's not amazing either. Nothing

really that stands out, and it's forgettable.

2 .5 is below average. You guys get it, right?

I don't need to read all of the rest of this.

I think the only one I'm going to read is 0 .5,

pure gar, no, 0 .5, abysmal, pure underrated

failure, any glimmer of hope is... drowned out

by frustration and competence. Forget it ever

existed. 0 .5 is a bit is and then zero is pure

garbage. Unwatchable, unplayable, unreadable.

This is the worst thing ever created in its entire

medium. Avoid it like the plague or risk a lifetime

of misery. You've been warned. There's only one

rating for Spider -Man Bloodline in my eyes.

There's nothing in here. Yes, there were like

the blood stuff and obviously the stuff when

Peter had with the tubes and whatever. That's

just one thing that kind of grossed me out, but

it didn't gross me out enough to like dock it

points. This is easily for me a masterpiece.

This might be my favorite Spider -Man comic I've

read in the last five years. High praise indeed.

I mean, for me, I'm I know there's no hash marks.

I'm stuck between three point five and four.

Like it's a solid story overall. Very emotional.

I think it's very well written. Like kudos to

the Abrams. Yep. Senior and junior there. And

again, like I said earlier, I'm not a fan of

the art. It's not that it's bad. It's just it's

just not your thing. Yeah, it's just not blowing

smoke up my script. So, why are you wearing skirts?

You're not Nile. It's a figure of speech Mike

Roger that is banned with comments like that.

Sure. Trust me folks. I don't want him to take

his crap Don't respond Anyway, yeah, so it's

a jab Like I said between four and four and three

point five. Yep Like i dug it i would recommend

it to fans of spider -man so absolutely the fans

of alternate universes alternate, you know timelines

universes like that I don't know if you really

anybody outside of those two out of comics fans

or spider -man fans in general Would really uh,

you know vibe on this so, you know, it is what

it is again. It's by no means bad It's not bad

at all. It's going to appeal to a very select

clientele, let's say. But I think that clientele,

once they see the name that's attached to the

book, they will think about Joyride. They will

think about Mission Impossible 3. They will think

about 2009 Star Trek. They will think about Super

8. They will think about Felicity from 1998.

So once you see JJ's name and you see his son's

name, even though I don't think his son has done

much other, I could be wrong. I think he was

like a kid when they wrote this together. Yeah.

And that's fine. Okay. That's fine. But I'm saying,

okay, that's the other thing. All the movies

I just listed plus Felicity. And then you take

alias. Like literally JJ created two of the best

and so vastly different television shows of the

late 90s early 2000s in Felicity and alias and

then obviously he went on to create lost in 2004

and everybody has that spans over the head is

Whatever, but that's my point. If you've watched

any of JJ stuff if you know how he is You're

good. If you like the stuff that he does you're

gonna like this book I At least I think they

will Could be wrong. I've been wrong in the past.

So I don't know gas What? Yeah, he admitted that

he's only human I always admit that I'm only

human. I I don't have any you know Riddler Than

a god am I I don't have any other no, I don't

know. I'm always only human anyway, folks I have

got something big cooking for the show. I don't

know how I'm gonna get it done, but we're at

episode 563 in about 20 or so, maybe less episodes,

episode 580 to 599. It's going to be a big undertaking

and a big research project, and I need one or

two hosts per episode per year. So... 580 to

589 comics of the 80s And then 590 to 599 comics

of the 90s So basically each episode is not like

590 is 1990 591 is 1991 and so on kind of thing

So that's what I'm working on for the year -end

part of the pull bag. The pull bag will end For

2024 on let me see here Well, technically it

would whatever December 31st January 1st 2025

whatever even though it's not technically I should

just end it on Christmas since Christmas is the

final Wednesday of the year But yes, we are I'm

gonna be working on that that's the big year

-end thing that I'm working on for the pullback

because of Time and life and everything else

that has come up I have not been able to do the

full daily thing to get to 600 episodes and once

we start Episode 600, that will be 90 nights

of Nightwing. So episode 600 to 690, three months.

Hopefully we can, so far I only have listed from

episode 600 to 660, I think. So I need 30 more

Nightwing comics, but I have a whole list and

I will talk with JT and I will talk with other

people about doing all of this stuff. But that's

what the plan is for the pullback for the year

end stuff for 2024. What else have you got going

on, sir? You got your comic connoisseurs, you

got your Sunday funnies. Sunday funnies. There

you go. And yeah, well, I mean, going to be starting

up Sunday funnies again with Birdman pretty soon.

Comic connoisseurs. See what happens there and

then Yeah, it's Just that's pretty much it aside

from you know, keeping a roof over my head. There

you go. That's always good Where can we find

you on social media sir? You can find me under

most platforms at JT from Saskatoon mostly Instagram

and Facebook I dabble in Twitter and Barely at

that so, you know Poke around, I'm sure you'll

find me. Not like that, you sick fuck. I don't

know what you're talking about. I have no idea

what you're talking about. All right, folks,

coming up inside the pull bag, I honestly have

no clue. So I am on Facebook. TF2 and Mike you

can follow at key cast radio the network on Facebook

the pull bag is on Facebook We are on Twitter

at geek cast radio at the pull bag. I am at TF2

and Mike all that good stuff and Yeah, coming

up the next episode after this will be skybound

entertainments void rivals number 11 And then

hopefully if I can get a hold of Joe Reed, we're

gonna do radiant black volume 5 the catalyst

war And then after that, I don't know what's

happening. I need to plan it out. I need to schedule

and figure out what I'm doing from episode 566

to 599. Well, I know what I'm doing to 599, but

566 to 579 is what I need to figure out. So I

will figure that out at some point here in the

future. For now though, we're gonna go to a quick

ad break. You're gonna hear some ads and some

other stuff and we will come back to close the

show formally. right after this. Hey Jared, I

have this idea for a new show for the network

Yeah What is it? You know how I liked the 1990s

comic book series the new warriors Yeah, yes.

Yes. Mm -hmm. Yep, and you know how at the long

boss crusade. We're trying to get the YouTube

channel going Yes, awesome. Yes also correct.

Well, thanks so How about you and me do a live

stream show about the new warriors? You've never

read the books before, and I have them, so that's

a great setup. We could give it a catchy name

like, come out to play. Don't you think that's

the greatest idea? Sure, sure, sure, Delvin,

that's a great idea. Just one question. Yeah?

Why do you have me dangling off this ledge, holding

me by only one arm? Oh, yeah. Well, you'll get

it soon. I hope. Come out to play. A new Warriors

podcast comes to you live on YouTube every second

Tuesday of the month at 8 p .m. Eastern on the

Longbox Crusade channel. If you can't watch it

there, we replay them on the Longbox Crusade

Network podcast feed available anywhere podcasts

can be found. We invite you to come along for

the ride or in other words, New Warriors. Come

out to play. A comic book podcast that actually

talks about comics. Yep. Each week we open the

shop up and read and discuss a comic. Sometimes

we pair that up with comic book movies or TV

shows. We're not. Lots of times it's just comic

books and sound effects. Oh yes, definitely lots

of sound effects. So check out all the major

podcasts and platforms, The Last Comic Shop podcast,

or check out our library of evergreen shows at

www .lastcomicshoppodcast .com. On the Simplistic

Reviews podcast, we talk movies. We talk TV.

We talk... Hello, Julie, what the heck are you

doing? Trying to make our spots sound more exciting

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not the real thing. Download the show on iTunes

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that's it. Make your great escape into comics,

and we will catch you next time here inside the

pull bag. Go, Webb, go! We have got, next episode

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