A Discussion of the Beverly Hills Cop Franchise

Hello there and welcome to the TFG1 Podcast.

This was supposed to be Supplemental Episode

3. However, due to my lack of stupi - well, wouldn't

be a lack of stupidity, folks. It would probably

be an overabundance of stupidity I recorded over

my audio. So I completely wasted Mike the Birdman

Dodd's time from This Week in Geek. Um, we had

recorded an excellent, excellent session. I just,

for some odd reason, my audio fucked up and I

saved over it and... I can't get it back and

Mike's very busy, so what you're going to hear

today is a bunch of clips from the Beverly Hills

Cop movies. Mostly from Cop 1 and Cop 2. You

will also hear Bob Seeger's song, Shake Down,

which was featured in the beginning of Cop 2.

So yeah, enjoy. At the end, right before I do

my closing, you will hear a... a mashup of Birdman's

audio that we had originally recorded. So please

tune in. I'm sorry, sir, but there are no rooms

available. Don't you think I realize what's going

on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don't

you think I know that if I was some hotshot from

out of town that pulled inside here and you guys

made a... Report first, sir. You have a report

that explains all this? Yes, sir. Well, I will

be very glad to hear it. Well, sir, Miss Jeanette

Summers, the manager of Mr. Maitland's art gallery,

accidentally discovered large quantities of a

substance she suspected was cocaine in the art

gallery's warehouse. She immediately communicated

her discovery to Detective Axel Foley of the

Detroit Police Force. Detective Foley was at

the time cooperating in a joint Beverly Hills

Detroit investigation of narcotics trafficking.

Detectives Foley and Rosewood, responding to

Miss Summers' report, proceeded to the warehouse

where Rosewood did in fact discover approximately

80 kilos of cocaine. Rosewood immediately called

for backup and I dispatched our officers to this

location. Sergeant Taggart here was the first

to arrive at the scene. And having probable cause

to believe a felony was in progress, Sergeant

Taggart joined Rosewood with Detective Foley

present only as an observer and proceeded to

enter the grounds. And in the course of defending

ourselves, we shot several suspects, including

Mr. Magland. You expect me to believe that report?

That's the report I'm filing, sir. Sergeant Taggart.

Why don't you tell me what happened? Happened

just like the lieutenant said chief Hey Mike,

how's it going dude? Whoo? See a synopsis is

supposed to be short my friend like a paragraph

not a novel Well, yeah as opposed to a 90 minute

theatrical film Same here. Yeah, actually Then

you don't want to see my hotel bill then for

San San Francisco in March then if you think

that's insane. Oh, yeah Which is such bullshit,

but okay. It's just it's also 1984 or so. Oh,

yeah, Billy was awesome Actually where where

I'm from it's not uncommon and they're ass backwards

up here, too So with our huskies and sled dogs,

it's pretty intense which was then later spoofed

in the Clerks animated series for some random

reason. I don't encourage this behavior, but

I'd be really curious to find out. And... what?

Bananas. Just because. It does suck bananas.

I think basically what Mike's trying to say here

is... Alright, so obviously they find out that...

He's using the art to basically launder the money,

because it's a good way to hide the drugs in

there. And obviously, hilarity ensues. There's

a shootout. I think there's a car chase, isn't

there? Right at the end? There's a huge shootout,

basically. No, because that one kicked ass. And

it also has the guy who plays Detective Brass

from CSI as one of the main bad guys, if not

the bad guy, I think. Yeah, yeah the the the

yeah, he's the little blonde dude It is that's

brass brass is the little blonde guy. Yeah, that's

yeah. Yeah, that's the dude from CSI No But no,

yeah, like I found that completely ridiculous

that he was in this movie. He later goes on to

play CSI Vegas But not the second movie was typical

1980s cheese. Basically what it is. There's these

people called the alphabet people or whatever

and they Yeah, they've got that bandit and they

commit all these crimes based on the alphabet

So they're like a was some kind of a jewelry

store B was it was yeah, and then C &D was the

city deposit or something They left all the money

then that was a great scene and and this exam

and this film was directed by I just kind of

pulled the guys near if this was the same guy

Yeah, the same guy did top gun So and so this

guy obviously has a great sense of Action comedic

timing and I think Beverly Hills cop 2 is a much

better example of the 1980s typical action comedy

And I thought this was way better than lethal

weapon in my I'm sorry Axel Foley could beat

the shit out of those two damn damn right i'm

telling you man i'm sorry Beverly Hills Cop was

a much better action franchise and actually and

here's what i mean look at the lethal weapon

look at anything Richard Donner does and anything

Richard Donner does there are fucking helicopters

it doesn't matter why there's just helicopters

there he could be making a romance movie there's

a fucking helicopter but but yeah so so Beverly

Hills Cop 2 had some of the greatest lines in

it and I remember one of the lines is they pull

up to the playboy mansion in a dump truck or

not in a cement truck and yeah and then he walks

into the playboy mansion and says I'm here to

look at the pool what he's like do I have to

spell it out for you somebody took a shit in

the pool I love that bit he starts talking to

his dick And that's what and that is one of the

scenes that was so 80s just the way that it was

shot and the music it was sort of this musical

montage all these girls in Bikinis playing volleyball

for some random reason and Hugh Hefner there

and I'm thinking it's just it was this it was

the the tonal quality of the scene that just

screamed 80s and it's so memorable like you could

pretty you could pretty much take any scene out

of Beverly Hills cop to show it to a film kid

and they'll be able to tell you when this movie

was shot because it looks just so 80s that's

what I love about it, but Another great thing

was, oh, what's the name of the gun dealer in

this? I can't think of his name. Not no, no,

not him. The other guy, the guy that ran the

gun club, his underling, Dean Stockwell was that.

No, that wasn't it yet. I thought he was awesome

in this movie just because he's so slimy. And

then he would later go on to do a TV movie quantum

leap. And he would do The Langoliers, which was

like a made for TV version of Stephen King's

book. And it was just something about his performance

i always really love this because he was the

perfect slimy henchman it's so varied it's it's

just so varied he he doesn't isolate himself

to any one genre they will never escape that

stigma same with the girl from oh well i guess

that's not true because she did do charmed um

shannon doherty but anyway off topic but yeah

i think this is the only yeah i think this is

the only movie i've ever seen her in actually

And then he comes out later dressed in a leisure

suit or something And it worked so that was the

beauty part of it you I think this is I think

this was the first Movie I saw boobs in now that

I think about it because the strippers in the

club on a side note But yeah, like I said, this

movie was fantastic, and then there's an awesome

shootout right at the end of the movie, which

I swear to God, John Woo must have taken one

of his cues from this, because there's a shootout

between the blonde bitch and Axl, and these doves

fly by for just a few seconds. And that's such

a John Woo moment, but nowhere near as cool.

Wow, but oh and then and then randomly there's

a rocket launcher in this movie and then Billy's

carrying two shotguns At one point. Oh, yeah,

right. Oh, right cuz he finds it Nice and and

these are all properties that he owns or something

He has like a massive armory in there and he's

oh I love that scene I wish you could have seen

my face when you made that noise. It would have

been epic. Who is a complete fucking yuts, but

obviously Johnny Wishbone scene and then they

threatened to call immigration on him. He's like

I'm gonna find out who you are and If you think

my name I'll come a -running. I actually still

use that that line to this day If you think Mike

Dodd will just come a -running Son of Jarrell,

kneel before Don, or me, whatever. Whichever

is more convenient for him. But yeah, like, Beverly

Hills Cop 2, I think, was the peak of the franchise,

because I guess we can jump into Beverly Hills

Cop 3 now, that movie sucked ass. It was diarrhea

in a wine glass. Sure, it's a wine glass, it's

an awesome franchise, great characters, great

characterization, but at its heart. It's still

diarrhea in a wine glass. It's horrible. That

movie balls. Really? Oh, right, yeah. Was Paul

Reiser. Same here, actually. Yeah, one of my

ex -girlfriends, I actually, I had her track

this down for me on LimeWire, because I don't

like to use any of those services, but she found

it for me, and I was like, oh my god, it's fucking

Beverly Hills Cop, and... It's always a consistent

play on my iTunes. Yeah, and actually, he just

recently ran for mayor in Detroit, I think, and

lost a little bit. And lost, unfortunately. But

PG -13. See, I want them to make a COP4, but

not Brett Ratner. Michael Bay's Beverly Hill

COP4. That would be awesome. But with more shit

blowing up and Axel Foley it would be cool But

yeah, and there was supposed to be a Beverly

Hills cop TV series, but that got Turned down

Yeah, yeah him and got him in tip Don Simpson.

Yeah He knows what he's doing. I Would like to

see Jerry Bruckheimer's my little pony if I had

to suggest any franchise. I think that'd be interesting

Michael Bay's Care Bears just imagine how fucking

cool that would be but yeah i don't know i although

like i said the third one was diarrhea in a wine

glass that the one sucked the first two are the

most memorable of this series i'd like to see

the series come back in some re iteration or

maybe get the first three movies reissued on

blu -ray But I don't know. I mean this was a

great series It's a great example of the 1980s

action movie genre, and it's definitely one of

those things that should probably be Remembered

for what it was not taken too seriously But it's

a great popcorn action flick and that's what

makes it cool. This was the summer blockbuster

back then Pretty much it because it's cool Yeah,

pretty much exactly. That's exactly the way I

feel that too. You can pop in number one. You

can do the same with three You know, you could

put your hand on a table and hit it with a hammer

You'd probably have more fun and it would be

over quicker. Yay Of course, man Yes, and also

as a special and And also Mike forgot to mention

we will be doing this as a video podcast completely

naked while wearing Care Bear costumes around

our faces. You're gonna have to stay tuned to

find out whether I'm telling the truth or not.

So if you wanna see three fat naked guys, stay

tuned to the GFG1 podcast. I just had a wicked

idea what you should do for this outro. You need

to get that clip where he's like, fuck you, fuck

you, fuck you, you're cool, I'm outta here. That's

how you should close out this show There's a

clip in the first Beverly Hills cop where Axl

is talking to people he's like fuck you. Fuck

you. Fuck you. You're cool. I'm out of here It's

just it's in the cigarette scene truck That's

what you should do that's what you should do

So now that I've spoiled the surprise, but that's

why Steve can edit this Because he's a noob and

I love him erotically Well, of course, I am your

star power. And that's pretty sad, at most. The

biggest guess you could round up is me. I'm kidding.

I'm a pretty big deal in Ohio. No, that's not.

But now they know the awesomeness that is me

on the Mike Miller Morning Show on Monday and

Wednesday mornings on 1150 AM WIMA. Now that

I'm done selling myself. Well, I only have three

minutes Well eventually when we get more time,

but yes those the Mike the Mike Miller morning

shows a bit are meant to be Snippets of information

so need for speed EA. I can't recommend it, but

you probably should get it for one reason This

is probably the last one you're gonna see That

which is depressing. Oh You PC gamers I laugh

at you That's right Xbox 360 Nintendo Wii says

fuck you I only have to buy one system every

five years or as you PC game result waits three

o 'clock in the afternoon got upgrade So can

I it's called the virtual console owned It's

sure I have to play it using a Wiimote but still

but Actually, you know, I'm pretty sure somebody

stole mine Had one. Oh, it's weird. Okay, just

before we wrap this story before we wrap up this

podcast or more randomness um somehow in my house,

we're missing a copy of Aladdin Batman begins

on blu -ray and A we mode with a blue skin on

it for no visible fucking reason these three

items have disappeared. I've torn this house

apart my My former roommate Pierce tore it apart,

my girlfriend and my best friend Stefan tore

it apart. We can't fucking find it. Either the

ghost of the Twig studio stole it, or the house

ate it. I've got my suspicions on who took it,

but I can't prove it. It's because I bashed the

PC game or somebody snuck into my house. He is

just more sporadically, but hey, I guess since

I can announce this we're gonna be doing more

stuff with snowball as time goes on We're launching

a new show called jump the shark. So there's

your TFG one exclusive that show will be launching

very soon and Yeah, so don't worry You'll hear

a lot of a lot of snowball a lot of all of us

actually plus some new people coming on to the

show So exciting times ahead man exciting times

Where's where's my fucking we vote? I said, where's

my fucking Wiimote? I wonder where the hell it

is. The rat bastards. Axel? Axel? I don't like

this, Billy. Axel? What are you doing here? I'm

going to the Poynter Sisters with my piercing.

Wait a second. You're all on duty. No martini

for you. Perrier water is what you want, right?

Guy got some swimming trunks in the bedroom.

Dive in the pool. Come on. In the pool. Party

time! What are you doing in a place like this?

What are you talking about? A place like what?

A place like this. Swimming pool, jacuzzi. What

are you talking about? I'm spoiling myself right.

Oh, you mean the construction is going on. Yes,

I'm very embarrassed about that. What I'm trying

to do, though, is just confine myself to the

other five bedrooms. I'm used to compromising

my lifestyle. Bullshit. You've stolen this house.

How the fuck can you steal a house? This is my

uncle's house. Is he in rock and roll? No! Well,

look at the big titties. Yo, man, look at this.

Titties, orange juice, beer. Will you go put

your trunks on and get in this pool? I want you

out of this pool and out of this house in seven

minutes. You're still a goddamn police officer,

for Christ's sake. You're gonna get us all in

deep shit. I love it when you talk dirty. Get

your mad ass in this pool with me. Axel, get

out of the goddamn pool! Hey, tagging! What's

taking you so long? Really? Sure, man. Hey, hey!

I'm sorry I'm late, but I run into this broad.

You're the fucking guy who had to chuck a load

of cigarettes that day. Remember I told you about

him? You told the cops he was from Buffalo? Hey,

man, take off your glasses. Copy ain't no cop.

That's dirty Harry himself. What the fuck is

wrong? What you gonna bring him in here? You

calling me a cop? You definitely a cop ain't

no copies my nephew. Well the dude is definitely

bad luck I don't know what he is you he's bad

luck to me bad luck I'll fucking tell you it's

bad luck my friends in a prison body shop fixing

all the cars He smashed that day cuz you're the

fuck around this guy's a fucking clown 2 ,000

blank American Express cards right now go you

got the money you want to do business or what

I have the money And I do want to do business,

but with you I ain't doing nothing in front of

this dude cuz this dude is a cop I know when

I can smell a pig inside the room I used to be

a Muslim man, and I know that's park over here

and then yes, it's definitely park I ain't doing

shit around this dude man. You want to do business.

You know where to find me fuck you man What in

the hell you need $1 ,000 for? A little flash

money. Flash money? Well, let's see here. $2

,000 for a suit. $200 for a tie. A requisition

order for a Ferrari. I don't want to see any

more of these blue slips. We're not gonna see

some of red slips. I know that you're getting

upset, and I know that you have reason to be

upset, but let me tell you something, Chief,

I am close... I'm so close now, I'm closer than

I've been, and it's making me crazy, because

I can smell it. It's in the air, and I smell

it. Do you smell it? Because I smell it. All

I smell is your bullshit. For six months, I've

been pouring money down a bottomless hole. We're

the bad guys at the end of this rainbow. Wait

a second. Look, I just thought that there was

a problem... Don't think, Axel! It makes my dick

itch! The truth is, this apartment's fronted

you a fortune. And my ass is on the line. I okayed

all this shit! I've been out of my fucking mind

to keep letting you talk me into this shit. But

I can't pull out till I get some kind of bust

or my career is finished. But I promise you,

I won't go down alone. I'm gonna give you three

days. If I don't see some results by then, I'm

gonna cover my own ass. How do you like that

arrangement? If I only have three days to do

this, I have to go deep undercover. I'm undercover

deep now. This is deep, but I'm going deeper.

I don't want no more money or nothing, but I'm

going deep, deep, deep. Deep undercover. So you

signed that for me, and I'm going so deep, sir,

you not even know where people are gonna try

to page me. Excellent. No answer, because I'm

gonna be deep undercover. I'm tired of your bullshit,

Foley. You got three days. If I don't see some

results by then, I'm gonna grind your ass into

dog meat. You got that? Deal. I'll have a dog

meat ass. Now, could you please sign my authorization

for my flash money, please? Flash money. Just

make sure nothing happens to that Ferrari. That's

a $50 ,000 automobile, you know. Oh, no, no,

no, it's $67 ,000 in fast. It goes from 100 to

150 in like... You just better make sure nothing

happens to it. Don't worry about a thing. The

car's safe. I'm driving the car. No one else

will be in the car but me. 24 hours a day, I

will be in the car. I will sleep, eat, drink,

shit. I will sh... No, I ain't gonna... You're

bothering me. What do I look like shitting in

the car? I ain't gonna sh... Don't worry about

a thing, though. I am on the job. Don't worry

about a thing. On the job! That's what I'm afraid

of! Hello there! You have reached the home of

George Kingfish Stevens. I'm sorry I'm not in

now, but I've done going down to the lodge hall.

But if you like, you can leave a message at the

tone and I'll get back to you at my earliest

inconvenience. Excuse me, where are the owners

of this house? They haven't taken possession

yet. They're in Hawaii for a week while the construction's

happening. Is there farming around? You're making

a very They changed the plans. The plans have

been changed. There's not supposed to be any

right angles on this building. You! You! Stop

working! Stop working! You guys have destroyed

these people's houses and now I have to change

this! No right angles, this thing's round as

a doughnut. What are you, a fucking art critic?

They got the money, want to live in a doughnut?

Let them live inside a doughnut. You know, people

get money and lose their mind. Some people say

I want to live in a round house. You got the

money for it? Fuck it. Guys, stop. Look, look,

look. Just stop it. I'm gonna have to... Straighten

this whole thing out. I'm gonna have to talk

to my people, and then they'll talk to their

people, and then they'll talk to your people,

and maybe this whole thing can get taken care

of and nobody gets fired, okay? Y 'all just did

what they showed you. Well, you get the right

thing, but whoever gave you this, an asshole.

So stop! Everybody just come on down, go home,

relax. You got the week off, and we'll straighten

this whole thing out. Just leave it in my hand.

And I think you should give your boys a big round

of applause, because you have done a good job.

Because other than the house being square, it's

beautiful. You've done a good job for yourself.

But go home now and relax. For the rest of the

week, I'll straighten this whole thing out. Alright,

thank you. So you're gonna straighten all this

stuff out, huh? Will you stop worrying and go

home? Trust me. Did somebody clean some of this

shit up before you leave though? My name is Johnny

Wish - Wishbone. Johnny Wishbone and I am a psychic

from the island of St. Croix. Yes, I'm a psychic

from the island of St. Croix and I read in the

St. Croix Gazette that the Beverly Hills Police

Department have some trouble figuring out crimes.

So what I did was come to Beverly Hills to help

the police out. They tell me they don't want

my help. They don't need my help, so I'm gonna

go on my merry way. I'm a psychic. I'm a psychic

phenomenon. Watch this. I don't know who you

are, but watch this. Um, your name is, um...

Lutz, right? Chief Lutz. That's your name, see?

The name pop inside my head like that. And your

name is, um, um... Riddle? Riddle! Yeah, see?

You give two more seconds, I will say to myself,

I don't need no help from no one, because I'm

Johnny Wishbone, psychic extraordinaire. If you

need me, just think Johnny Wishbone, and I come

running. Lutz and Biddle. It's like Kibbles and

Bits, but different. Excuse me. God ain't giant

in the minute I saw Foley. Axel's got nine lives,

I don't. You boys ready? Let's go. Come on now,

both of you guys know that I got Lutz to the

shift for Brantino and Politician. And this boy

Biddle... He couldn't catch the outfit killer

if he nuked the city. We gotta do this, the three

of us. All for one, one for all. Hey, Lutz is

about to fire our asses. I'll lose my pension,

my medical. I got a wife and two kids to feed,

Axel. You got two kids, not a wife and two kids.

Shut up, Billy. She might come back. Maureen's

divorcing him again. She moved in with her mother.

Look, two years ago, I almost lost my job. Man

put his neck on the line for me, all right? Now,

he's laying in the hospital somewhere unconscious.

I'm not gonna just go back to Detroit without

helping him. And what's shocking me is that his

boys don't even have any loyalty for him. Okay,

okay. Don't give me this crap about loyalty,

though. Andy and I join the force together. What's

in the bag? My vitamins. Give them to me. You

want my vitamins? Give them to me. You want all

my vitamins? Yes. An hour. Enjoy good health.

What year is this? 73. Yes, it is a 73. I know.

May I help you? Yes, I'm from Metalux, explosive

research company. You have a Russell Fielding

working here? Yes. Here you are, these plutonium

nitrate multi -explosive sound -seeking projectiles.

Here they go. Have a nice day. Wait a minute.

What did you say? Metalux? Yes, Metalux Explosive

Research Company. I don't show any record of

that delivery here on my log. I think there must

be some mistake. I think your company must have

made a mistake. I haven't made a mistake. Y 'all

made a mistake. No, no, no. You don't understand.

You see, I know about every delivery that comes

into here, and they put it right here in this

little log. I'll tell you what. We'll straighten

this out with research, right? Let me explain

something to you, kid. This is a sound -seeking

projectile. I suggest you don't use the telephone,

you don't sneeze, you don't cough, you don't

do anything, and if you have to break wind, maybe

one of these little quiet, sneaky ones, because

the slightest peep and your designer jeans ain't

gonna fit no more. Now, y 'all can work this

out after I go. Have a nice day. Excuse me. Do

you know what I just realized? You could do me

a big favor and just drop this off at Mr. Fielding's

office on your way out. Hey, let me explain something

to you, all right? I have a friend named Bootsy

that got killed doing some shit like this not

too long ago. I ain't gonna carry this just because

you all made a mistake. I carry from A to B.

I have nothing to do with C, okay? I have a wife

and two kids, and I'd like to see my twin daughters,

Monique and Unique, again. It's just right on

your way out. It's no problem if you could just

take it off my desk, drop it off at Mr. Fielding's.

He could call research. What about my daughters?

Monique and Unique? What about them? What's in

it for me? What's in it for my family? What do

you want? What's in it for me? I risked my life.

What's in it for me? What's in it for me? I have

beautiful daughters. You asking me to risk my

life? What am I gonna get out of this? Ten dollars?

I have twin daughters with pigtails. Would you

please just take that off my desk and drop it

off at Mr. Fielding's? Please, that's all I have.

I want you to just please take it for me. I'm

sorry, that's it. Where's his office? Along the

corridor down the steps. It's just right near

your way out. You see the name on the office.

It's just right there I'm just doing this for

my kids This is the same way Bootsy got killed

all they found was $20 in a pair of Adidas for

my daughters. Thank you. Five dollars a shoe

with four shoes. Thank you for listening to the

TFG1 Podcast. Please tune in next time when I'll

be reviewing 5 episodes from Transformers Generation

1 Season 2, those being Autobot Spike, Changing

Gears, City of Steel, Attack of the Autobots,

and Traitor. Thank you for joining me on the

TFG1 Podcast. There are 4 ways to get in touch

with me or leave feedback for the podcast. First

is that you can visit PredaconEmpire .com forums.

and get all your Transformers discussion topics

there. The second is that you can follow me on

Twitter. My name there on there is tfg1podcast.

That's tfg1podcast. The third is you can visit

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.net. I have a thread over there for podcasts

for the podcast. And the fourth is the email

address, which is tfg1podcast at gmail .com.

For now, I am Michael Blanchard saying in the

immortal words of Optimus Prime, transform and

roll out. And thank you for listening. Until

next time.