Star Trek Picard – Reviewing & Theorizing Through the Penultimate

Hello and welcome to Future Imperfect. I'm your

host Steve Megatron Phillips. I forgot what show

was doing for a minute there. Joining me in this

adventure into the stars from ThisWeekendGeek

.net are Lieutenant Commander Michael Dodd, also

of the USS Future Imperfect. I don't know if

we settled on a name for me. But it's just Alex.

You're Chief. Let's just call him Chief. Transporter

Chief. Yes. Oh, no, I said I wanted to be like

the janitor like But but you could turn anyone

into the janitor I'm sure someone has to vacuum

the bridge at least once a day or no. Could I

be like Like a hologram like the crooner on on

DS 9 how they have like Fontaine or whatever.

Yeah, he was awesome. He's probably quite possibly

the most awesome hologram next to The image on

Voyager because he basically is like he's like

the ship ships counselor, but not I know and

they're like, oh we leave the program running

24 7 To the point where like it becomes self

-aware that it's a hologram Which is almost a

better premise than the androids we're getting

Yeah, yeah, cuz at least you feel for the and

for the holograms the androids you're kind of

like Well, there's not that many, like out of

all the times they did a hologram episode, very

few times did they ever become self aware and

want to kill everybody. They might have been,

you know, corrupted. It was in Voyager. Well,

yeah, I was going to say like, but how often

did they actually try to kill somebody like twice,

maybe in like a show or in like three or 400

episodes of Trek. So. Yeah, usually good. Generally,

Androids is 50 50. Oh, yeah, I know if you look

at going back to the original series you have

various episodes where it focuses on androids

whether it's like I mud or the episode where

the scientist converted himself to you know transferred

his brain into an Android body and Was underground

in this, you know crevice of land and you know,

the original series cast had to kind of maneuver

their way around it. And all Kirk would do is

just, you know, basically talk, jibber -jabber,

confuse them, and then they would explode. But

that doesn't happen in this series because they're

writing, isn't that? Synthetics are bad. A .K

.A. Star Trek Picard, A .K .A. Star Trek Mass

Effect. Jesus Christ, this series gets stupider

in its progressive episode. I'm it's looking

more and more like it like they couldn't get

Ron Moore to write for it. So they're just like,

well, let's just copy his Battlestar Galactica

show. And well, it's almost like they take they

take these guys that have never directed stuff

before or have directed so little that it's insane.

Then they have, you know, multiple writers per

episode. It's not even it's like two or three

at minimum. This is not traditionally where you

have a. Like traditionally, in sci -fi, you might

have a singular writing partner, a la the people

that wrote for Stargate. There were usually pairs

of certain people. Or you might have a husband

and wife team. That's a very common thing. None

of that here. It's roundtable stuff, but it's

like they have a person who wrote a few novelizations,

but not like back in the day, like modern novelizations.

And then they'll have a person who like, I wrote

for Sleepy Hollow. a terrible show for Fox or

I wrote for this, a terrible show for ABC. It's

like, how did how did they even pick up these

people? Like other than maybe Kurtzman was like,

hey, you're an idiot. I can make you do what

I want. Well, they're all from the stupid bad

robot company. Every single one of these people

has has been hired or worked as an intern or

got their start working for J .J. Abrams, including

the so that's where they got the premise for

the show is bad robot. Yeah, bad robot bad really

much pretty much Like I don't know this the as

much I still like a lot of elements of the show

and I think it has potential But there's like

if you start sniffing there's the stench of JJ

Abrams on everything trick I Know ever since

he rebooted the franchise. It's been a totally

different vibe Which It's not not kind of recapping

some of the previous episodes What was the last

one we left off with did we do the one with Ryker?

We did four five and six. No, I was just gonna

say this this series of seven eight nine Does

have by far the best episode of the bunch? You

know, what's the best moment in this entire series

the best moment of this entire fucking bizarre

experiment has been Riker eating pizza. Riker

burning tomatoes. This has been a high point

for a series that should be must watch television

for a beloved character who hasn't come back

to the character in like 18 years or 20 years

or however long it's been since friggin nemesis.

Riker eating pizza is a meme. Well, oh my lord,

but where we were because banter. Yeah, it's

true. Oh, yeah. where we last saw Riker, he was

in the kitchen again. Because if you remember,

what was the last episode of Enterprise? In the

last episode of Enterprise, it turns out that

Enterprise... Was it on the holodeck? Yeah, it

was on the holodeck. It was the episode of the

Pegasus of TNG. Yeah. So, I mean, it's not last

canonically in the timeline, but it is the last

time we saw him suit up. And he basically played

the chef to get everybody's idea of, you know,

you know, what's it going to be like, uh, you

know, after this event, which was basically the

signing of, and the start of the Federation or

the United Federation of Planets. Uh, so it was

kind of like a nod almost like to, cause he was

just the last time we saw him, he had an apron

on and then we see him again. He's got an apron

on. And this was also the longest episode of

the series. And it was the best episode of the

series. Yeah, by far. And yet honestly, it was

filler. Yeah, unfortunately, but it was kind

of setting that moral compass on Picard of like

hey You need to be you and stop trying to be

this cut, you know crotchety old man. That's

got problems It's like I think this is the only

I think this is the only episode where they had

a consistent writing team and consistent writing

tone And it was good. Yeah, but ultimately it

was a throwaway and we get this episode seven

episodes in out of a 10 episode series. Come

on. It should have been the premiere. This should

have been episode three. This should have been

episode two. And I'll explain why. It should

have been the disaster. All this shit happens.

And then the end of episode one should not have

dragged out as long as it did. It should have

been him going to Starfleet to mount a rescue

mission immediately, them denying him. And then

what should have happened is He should have gone

to Ryker for help Ryker, you know said he maybe

say he was gonna pull some strings or something

and talk with him It wasn't gonna work out but

then have him have the heart to heart with him

and say it's time to make amends with people

and then he goes and meets up with with Well

by my daughter blank on her name raffy raffy

that's what it should have been the instigator

to have to have him go and be like and you know

suck it up basically and Go and talk to her and

that's how it starts not you know, three quarters

of the way through. Yeah, but I did enjoy the

fact that Riker was able to dissect Picard's

entire, like, plot of the series so far. They

had Riker basically figure it out, like, oh,

it's pure, you know, Picard arrogance. He says,

you know, don't he's like, not a big deal, not

my problem. He's like, but let me just guess.

And and just seeing that familiarity from from

Riker and Troy in this was was Quite brilliant

and then some of the data isms that So yeah portrayed

was great and having Ryker kind of respond to

that and he's like I know that head tilt anywhere

That's data's kid. Yeah, you know and only the

only downside of this was I didn't care for the

kid actor daughter. It was fine as far as What

they gave her to do it just wasn't written well,

yeah Which I think that you're kind of dealing

with people that are Kind of I don't know it's

it seems like we're more in touch with what that

generation would like how they would be kind

of acting or talking compared to the people that

were actually writing the show and Like all the

multi -generational aspect of this because there

are a million other things they could have had

her doing that was more intelligent than What

they kind of gave her the dialogue of the show

is very Let's solve these problems quicker than

they should. But for some reason, the episodes

are still longer than they should be. Because

they drag too many things out. Yeah. But the

funny thing is, if you look at some episodes

of TNG, the pace was actually slower. And yet,

it was fine. So because it was cohesive and it

actually told a story and it unfolded naturally

Whereas this I feel like they're trying to purposely

force it and I read somebody I don't remember

where but they were saying that You know, they're

trying to hit these beats instead of trying to

have the story kind of right itself Yeah, because

if you notice every episode follows a basically

the same plot They set up their problem, whatever,

whatever. Every episode, the problem is solved

randomly, without them doing anything, by some

MacGuffin. And in that one, it was, oh, I'll

just message the captain that I talked about

once that I've never shown, we've never encountered,

and he's going to give us the answer of where

to go immediately. The whole point of your visit

was pointless. Pretty much. Other than to escape

the Borg cube. In theory, this phone, in theory,

this conversation could have happened over a

calm link. Oh, yeah, totally. There was no need

for pizza, but there's always room for pizza.

And we're putting perimeter shields up for nothing

that happens. Yeah, like that. You know, one

of my big problems with Picard. to which there

are many, is they set up these really potentially

cool ideas. Like you hear Riker talk about perimeter

shields up, cloaking detection, all this other

techno babble bullshit sounds cool. And as Alex

just said, nothing happens with it. It would

have been cool if you would have had at least

a Romulan warbird that kind of started halting

it or more Romulan commandos show up. Yeah, no,

nothing happens. What happens? I'll tell you

what happens. Parmesan cheese. You know, it would

have been nice if something happened. If what

happened, because they kept setting things up

in this, right? They set the shields up, but

the Tal Shiar or whatever they are, they break

through one, you know, a commando breaks through

and their daughter has to kill them with an arrow.

And then they're like Picard. That would have

been cool. Picard, we love you, but you can never

come back here. Yes, you know what I mean? Like

they were they said her like we've already lost

one kid We don't need to lose our other one right

with the beginning. She's like, you know, I'd

never shoot you with an arrow, but I could Yeah,

there was no point in saying that unless she

was gonna use it They just wanted her to sound

cool. But it's just but her the dialogue they

give her is so pretentious. It's like That's

that's not the way a riker Troy kid would act

No, no Because it would either be more of a thoughtful

in -depth Process like Troy or just kind of like

a sarcastic, you know I get the playing the playfulness

of her because of him But they're also way too

young Yeah, like he's I think a year or two older

than my mom and my mom like Was 30 when I was

born? Well, they're saying that the older son

was 18. Yeah, but yeah, but guys you also have

to think about this is future fucking so Fertility

could be entirely dead. I guess the argument

is she's not even human technically. So yeah,

she's like Yeah, so I could age slower. So you

or they could just have kids till they're like

90 So I guess whatever right but I mean, yes

what kind of screws with your head is like they're

both like 65 or you know what I mean, like 65

or 66 and they got like 12 year old But you also

got to figure that they were in there pretty

much in their 50s when they left the enterprise

II Yeah Well, yeah, so so okay so like unless

they were supposed to be like 45 when they left

the enterprise II and had their first kid like

if they were in their 50s that is Whatever future

tech whatever you want to say it's just it just

seems odd it would have been more interesting

if instead of a little girl they had Like a daughter

that was getting ready to go into Starfleet now.

Here's my question So their kid their their son

died because of the synthetics band, correct?

This is correct. Yeah. Yeah Was it a? Unable

to get the positronic Yeah, whatever the the

nuclei that they get a silicone now. Here's my

question to you. I pose this question to the

room You're telling me Troy and Riker two people

who genuinely love their families more than life

itself. You're telling me they would just abide

by the Federation's rule because of some moral

superiority code. Bullshit. They would go to

the Ferengi. They would go to the Klingons. They

would even go to the Romulans if it meant saving

their kid. Don't buy it for a minute. I don't

either. Right? No, what happened? Riker would

have stood there in the room. and then yelled

up at the ceiling for Q, and Q would have showed

up and did something because he's had his eye

on him forever. There would have been a trade

-off. Yeah, there would have been some trade

-off. And that captain that the daughter's talking

about, that crazy old man, he's been everywhere.

He's even older than Picard. Okay. Maybe it's

Q. Unless he's Q, yeah, you know what I mean?

How would he have the answer immediately? And

the only thing that made sense to me was, okay,

he's got to be Q because... he wanted Ryker to

join and He said his eye on him forever. So he

would of course want to have his eye on his his

offspring so maybe he's just You know the he

comes across as the crazy old captain that plays

around with with Ryker's kid because he does

wear the captain uniform Yeah late like Like

that's giving the writers of this series way

too much. No, but you know I mean like if it

was if it was written Well, like yeah, if if

Picard, you know were to ask, you know, what

is this captain? What does this guy look like?

Oh, he wears these funny clothes and on and then

turn out that he she describes Q when he was

wearing his field marshal the card is like hey,

yeah, you know, you know, that would have been

great actually literally have her go or Have

her have him be going through a book Well, they're

talking about like, you know, history and that

and she points to go see what he looks like that

and have it be a picture of Napoleon. Because

then, you know, he then it would the wheels would

turn in his head and then he'd be he'd know it

was Q all the time watching them. But, you know,

they're not going to do that. Like it just it

astounds me because they put in so many things

that fans like you two want to have happen so

badly, but they drop the ball so monumentally.

each time. Oh, yeah, totally. Like, I've I've

discovered that I've I've actually upon rewatch,

I fast forward a good portion of the episodes,

particularly the parts with the artifact, the

board cube. It's just there. It's just there.

It's it's yeah, it's total garbage. And I honestly

I fast forward to the parts where Picard shows

back up because the rest of it is just total

filler. Now, when seven shows up, that's a little

bit different. But but the other characters like

and yes, I like to sing Hugh, but really he didn't

hit it off until Picard landed on his ship. Yeah.

Yeah. And so and so before that, I really didn't

care about Hugh. And then I was, you know, kind

of irritated that they killed him. But I get

it. They're trying to go for the shock factor

of killing, you know, tertiary characters from

TNG and Voyager at this point. But. I don't know.

I feel like the majority of the series could

still be shorter and be more of a Picard movie

than having all this extra crap that they're

trying to make make sense. You could shorten

this series down to seven episodes because you

could have cut out a lot of crap and the series

might have had potential if you trimmed a lot.

If someone could go back and recut a lot of this,

maybe, but Alex said each problem is solved by

the end of an episode by Day's ex Machina or

a MacGuffin or something else stupid. And here's

another thing. How often is Picard actually involved?

Go back and watch it. Not often. So he's basically

like Indiana Jones in the first movie. Yeah,

things happen naturally without him. Yeah, he's

just kind of there. No, the other thing that

kind of bothers me too is like you have you know

these instances where like Where rafi goes and

sees her son and all this other stuff like okay?

Yeah, that was a bit of like four seconds that

didn't really matter ultimately because she like

shrugs it off after that and it just doesn't

matter anymore and and then you get Gerardi who's

like basically Useless like I mean, yeah, she

kills Maddox and then now they're gonna use her

as the McGuffin for the season finale But also

what why does the captain think she's hot? Like

why why is anybody truly attached to her when?

He's attracted to her for reasons unknown because

she's just a terrible person in the entire show

and They're trying to make it seem like they

have chemistry together, but they don't Like

I don't see she's so poorly written and it's

so poorly cast Yeah, I don't really know if it's

poorly cast. I think it's just poorly written

I mean, I don't necessarily agree with most the

cast that was chosen anyway, like yes I like

Rios and Raffi, but the rest of them are just

kind of there and Like I like Rios Holograms

better than I like the rest of the crew For Picard

and it that's kind of saying a lot When they

have more dynamic going in the five seconds that

they show up here and there than the cast that

are supposed to be gallivanting across the galaxy

with Picard. Which is a testament to the actor,

like how many accents and different types of

characters he can do that are just to play on

one character. Oh, I know. And I'm just like,

keep going, dude, you're doing great. Like I

could sit there and watch that all day compared

to the other crap we're getting. And I did like

how they fleshed out Rios backstory. Yeah, and

you had to have the panel of the Rios Holograms

to kind of try and figure it out, but that was

actually pretty amusing that I'll give credit

where credits do but it still would and I found

very good it would have been executed better

Like you would have had an entire episode focused

just on that instead of it being a B plot that

happens really quickly Yeah, it was just kind

of a throwaway gag that kind of went somewhere

Yeah, and it actually, funny enough, worked better

than the episode itself. But I've kind of figured

this out, too, with the series is they they tend

to write themselves not only into a hole there

and try and hit all these stupid beats. They're

trying to write it and they want it to be serialized

like the later half of DS9 to try and say that

they're original and pushing the envelope. But

they're still writing it as if it's a TNG episode

and in the sense that. It's got a beginning middle

and an end and it wraps up by the end of the

episode perfectly fine. And they wanted to make

sense with their serialized version, whereas

in DS nine things didn't always wrap up by the

end of the episode. I mean, look at look at the

last season. You had like a seven part, you know,

basically cliffhanger because it was part one,

part two, part three part, you know, all the

way to part seven. And, you know, nothing resolved

itself because it was a continuous story. One

of the things I didn't like to move forward is.

Let's talk about the board cube or the artifact

that thing had such potential in it and it featured

so such so prominently in the advertising like

all there's going to be all these excellent.

Borg Romulans are doing experiments Hughes back

and then seven of nine is gonna become this new

Borg Queen She's gonna be connected to the collective

and she's gonna be tempted by the voices of thousands

of ex drones and all this other bullshit and

We get this awesome tease or she connects to

the collective her eyes go friggin black She

connects to thousands of Borg says I am the Borg

and all this bullshit. The drones start powering

up and then Romulan space lady blows them in

the space. She flushes them down the toilet.

Here's the question. She took over the cube.

How did the other lady have access to do that

at that point? Wasn't the whole point of her

taking over to take control? Like you would think

so. That's like saying the board queen wouldn't

have control over her own ship. It's a direction

thing, but no, no, no, no. Jerry Ryan is bad

at playing seven. She's bad at playing her own

character. Like, it doesn't make any sense to

me. Well, they want her to be different. Yeah.

It's because she's taken a 20 -year break from

this character. But also, it's the fact that

this isn't the same character that we encountered

at the end of Voyager. This is somebody new taking

the idea of Seven and applying a new splash of

paint to it. They turned her into, like, jaded

soccer mom is the best way I can describe her.

They want her to be seven of nine Batman. Like

they want her to be this vigilante kick ass Ranger

stupid thing. What I see when I see her is they're

like, let's make her into Sarah Connor. And like

but yeah, and she's not that's not her story.

Yeah, her story was about becoming human understanding

What makes us tick regaining that connection

to humanity understanding the core of? Emotion

if and everything and this is I'm gonna kill

because I can I am friggin Sarah Connor Ellen

Ripley Like well, no, you're not here's thing.

I wouldn't have a problem with her having the

emotional outbursts Yes, she came back and she

was 90 % of the time, her uptight self, but the

humanity has slowly stepped in over the last

20 years. And when she does get emotional, she

breaks and then turns into this person. And then

it could be like, oh, this is images of what

she would have been like had she never been assimilated.

But they erase every semblance of when she was

assimilated from her personality now. Another

thing that I also kind of picked up on when they

blow the Borg down the toilet, seven screams

no. Okay, seven's in control of this cube. Let's

establish a few things before I go further, correct?

Star Trek First Contact. Where do you see Borg

drones? Outside the Enterprise, correct? Yes,

walking on the hole. Borgs can survive in vacuum.

Why not just beam them all back inside and say,

sorry, your plan didn't work. Got to mention,

these are not the Borg that they've saved. These

are the ones that are still hooked up. These

are regular drones that are in stasis. Exactly.

They haven't disassembled them yet. It's terrible.

Here's the thing. I'm watching this. The reason

I watch this with my brother is he is not a Star

Trek fan. Doesn't like most of it. And watching

this, he says this is his favorite show. Does

not like DS9, does not like Voyager, finds them

pretentious and boring. And he's not a stupid

person. He's a very intelligent person. He says

he likes this better. So this is Trek for people

that want to know, want to be a part of Trek,

but don't want to actually watch the old Trek.

if that makes any sense. Wow. They want Trek

without the baggage. Here's the Trek characters,

but you don't need to know 50 years of history.

For somebody like him who he has seen encounter

at Farpoint, he's seen all good things and likes

that one. His idea of Star Trek, he told me is,

I like the episodes where they're on the holodeck

and the episodes where they're, he goes, I like

that episode where Riker was stuck in the casino.

That's as far as his knowledge of TNG goes. And

he's not interested in the rest. So him watching

this with me, he's like, yeah, that was great.

And he'll go, oh yeah, there's some writing issues

with this. But to him, this is the most entertaining

track. post my thoughts on my Facebook and my

Twitter most often. Yeah. With the fuck and I

start at 3 a .m. on Thursday night because I'm

usually awake playing a video game anyway. So

you end up watching it basically the second it

drops online before it shows on regular cable

here before 99 % of people in the States will

even watch it. Yeah, so I'm sitting there and

that's the thing. I'm interested in a show that

I hate and I don't like that. This is and people

were saying that I had a friend of mine actually

comment on this is like. Why do you do this to

yourself? The show doesn't owe you anything.

And I, and to that, I disagree because that's

why we have this show, future imperfect. And

I promise you folks, this show will improve the

us not bitching about Star Trek at some point.

Um, but when you, but for right now, when the

writing is better, yeah, exactly. Or when we

get the pike show, which as long as here's the

thing, as long as they get rid of the current

crop of show runners and basically The talk is

they're going to want to purge. CBS wants to

purge all of any trace of the or the Kurtzman

or see and like their production company, which

is tied to bad robot. They want to purge them

all, basically start fresh, not fresh as in like

changing the stories, obviously, but like let's

start with a new, you know, a creative shake

up. Yeah, which would be smart. Yeah, like I

100 % agree. And that's the thing though, like

I was genuinely excited to talk about Picard

with you guys when we started, which I guess

kind of leads us into sort of recapping because

we saw this will lead us into the. penultimate

episode where basically they they land on this

planet where they get taken down by space flowers

there are just magically called orchids like

okay that's symbolism a little hard right on

the friggin nose and then it's a colony full

of androids okay i'm with you so far interesting

idea but they look like the the sexified versions

of like when they landed on planets and uh tng's

first season or uh the androids in tos Yeah,

like it was just a little ridiculous. And then

Brent Spiner comes out and I'm just thinking,

okay. Now you've gone too far. Sorry, you mean

Frump Spiner? Yeah, Frumpy Spiner. Comes out

80 pounds heavier than we've ever seen him with

a voice where he could barely talk like this.

He talked fine when he was talking his data earlier.

Did they just tell him, mumble your way through

everything here? Well, I think they're trying

to make him seem more older here, or maybe he

actually had to try harder to feed data. It was

just so goofy. And that's where I truly threw

up My hands. I'm pretty sure I woke up Blair

or my roommate when I'm like, you've got to be

text message for the morning and You just said

Alex. I fucking hate this and then I looked on

this Bond I was like, oh he's watching Star Trek

because I Because I'm watching, you know at the

night with my brother every time I'm like, oh

boy either It's gonna be something I love and

he hates or it's gonna be something hilarious.

And it was the part where you threw up those

hands You did it twice. The first time you said,

what the fuck hands? And then I was like, what

was when they went through the magic star gate

and you were like, start with, they went through

the magic star gate. And then the other time

was what the F hands was. It wasn't just that

data. It was, you said fat data pissed you off.

But what really got you mad was. Let's be dumb

and let the prisoner escape by killing people.

Oh, no. Oh, no. I know exactly what I gave you.

Alex, I hate this moment when they explain what

the ad militia is or whatever the hell it's called.

And oh, you're like what you're like, it's it's

it was basically like Mass Effect. and you're

like it's the reapers you're describing the reapers

where is shepherd oh the only difference was

this was not a this wasn't a message left for

the gath it was a message from the protheans

like it was basically the same thing and you're

and you always and then you sent me a message

just saying i can't i can't even oh my god i

was like okay oh i'm watching you like i'm like

don't spoil it i'm watching it later and you're

and all you said was Fine. And then you didn't

talk to me for like four hours because I think

you went to bed. You were so mad. I did. I was

so pissed off. But the thing about this show,

though, this episode, like I didn't mind Spiner

coming out as another soon, because honestly,

he's played the great, great grandfather of,

you know, Nunean soon. He played Eric soon in

enterprise. And then he played Nunean and then

in various forms where there was the younger

holodeck version or the old man. And then he

plays lore before and data and and now he's playing

the son of noonian which it's funny the the the

acronym of his name or his his Spiner came up

with the acronym for the name. Like if you shorten

it, it's AI soon So it's Alton Alton ego somebody

said it's alter ego Like like compared it to

that, you know what this notice this to me You

remember trying too hard? No. Yes, but no. You

remember, you remember men in black one when

Vincent D 'Onofrio had that cockroach inside

of his body? That's what his body looks like

now. That's horrible. This is lore. Like, and

they're just like, what happened? It's like lore

put on, like he killed his, he killed his, his

like, he killed the soon guy who was actually

thinner. And then he's like, He zipped him up

as like a fat suit on top of himself, but he's

like constantly trying to shift his head and

jowls and everything to make it look like he's

actually human. This is this is the funny part,

though, is everybody's like having the same irritation

with these episodes. You know. He basically,

you know, one of the articles I was reading,

it says how odd now, of course, Star Trek has

always suddenly sprung never before seen family

members on us from stock box, never previously

mentioned Brother Cybok in The Final Frontier,

his never previously mentioned sister in Discovery.

And now it's possible that Dr. Soon has a son.

And and so I'm wondering a little bit to if I'm

wondering if this has anything to do with lore.

No, they are not that clever. Do not give them

credit. I'm saying as far as the blueprints for

all of these androids except for the two that

Matic stole. He took off Offworld to make him

a human. And they have data pieces. And I'm thinking

that he harvested the brain of data out of B4,

which is why Jurati thought data was wiped out

of Out of before so I'm wondering if they're

gonna pull and this is just a long shot if they're

gonna pull and because this Gollum that Soon

is working on is basically gonna look like him

I'm wondering if there's gonna be like a bait

and switch where they dump data's brain in it

and he's actually the savior of the Androids.

Here's what's gonna happen and I'm predicting

this. This is my prediction That Gollum is going

to become new Picard. This is the new Spock's

brain. I assure you of that because they've mentioned

he has a degenerative disease. They've already

established these androids look and behave human.

They essentially are human and they just get

to live longer. They're, they pretty much do

all the things that you and I can do, except

they're biological now. This is a way for them

to fulfill every stupid fan fiction where Captain

Picard and Data save the frigging day. That's

what it's going to end up being. And Alex and

I talked about this in a private chat. There's

going to be a moment where Data comes back when

he's put into the Golem and he's going to say,

Captain, I've missed you for so long and blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah. And Data and Picard will

have one last goodbye before they stop this whole

destroyer Romulan bullshit. That's what I predict

is gonna happen because honestly guys, they're

not that clever. They're writing this on a napkin

going down the highway So who do you think they're

gonna do you think data is gonna come back when

when do you get sacrificed again? Or do you think

that I? Think you'll get I think there'll be

a flashback or something. There'll be something

where it's not data Coming back as the character

because Brent Spire is done doing that. No way

will he do it again? I predict that they're not

going to write out Picard because there already

is a season two established. Well, they said

that they might go as far as three seasons with

Picard. So obviously they've backed up the truckload

of money to Sir Patrick Stewart's house and they

have to figure out a way to keep him going. So

to make him super Android is certainly one way

to go about and do it and to make all the TNG

fanboys who came in very late to the game happy,

but it just feels hollow. It feels. This isn't

my track. This has no resemblance to anything

and I know that's a negative opinion to have

because television has evolved Writing has evolved

storytelling has evolved. It's not 1987 and the

show whether it's evolved Yeah, but what the

point I'm trying to get is you could tell stories

differently in the 80s and 90s and 2000s Compared

to now this trek feels mean. It feels bloated

It well, it's not even that it's that's bloated.

It's the fact that I think that it lacks substance

and direction. Well, that and the fact that it's.

I don't know why they want to go for this dystopian,

dark, evil future and past for for discovery

and. Pickard other than the fact that they have

to hate track because and want a dystopian future

instead of just coming up with a totally new

series that has nothing to do with track and

just calling it something else and you know.

It's because of shows like The Walking Dead.

The Walking Dead made dystopian, apocalyptic

futures hip and cool. Like we've had Zombie Nation

or Z Nation. We've had The Walking Dead. But

it fizzled out. Well, Walking Dead's still going.

It's still going, but nobody cares. But apocalyptic

television still sells. Like you still have Watchmen.

You still have Westworld to a lesser extent.

You still have... dystopian futures. When you

put that into a Star Trek context, that's something

we've never seen before. And Star Trek as written

by Gene Roddenberry and everybody else past that

was a very optimistic, sometimes flawed future,

but we've never seen it with its teeth and claws

out as ugly as it may be. Like I said, we're

getting F bombs in Star Trek, which is so awkward

and strange. It is for sure. And it just seems

so unnecessarily forced as the same hip. I was

willing to let it go in discovery where Stamets

says it is fucking cool, isn't it? That made

sense. But when that Starfleet admiral says to

Picard, the pure fucking hubris end quote or

shut your fucking mouth. It just comes across

as weird. Now, when I got a little bit more delivery

is the problem. If it was just, I don't know,

the actors and actresses don't seem comfortable

saying it. Yeah, well, I think it's because they've

also had, you know, 50 years of TV where that's

not been allowed. So but no, like kind of going

back to the Picard thing, this guy that you guys

had sent me to, I think that Matthew Kiddash

or Kiddish on Twitter had mentioned the thing

with the golem. And he says, you know, I'm betting

that they're going to dump. Picard into this

thing and just make him younger and replace it

replace the actor He's like if they don't do

this. I'll be shocked Yeah, cuz honestly He's

getting up there. He is getting up there But

if they back another truckload of money up to

his house be like I'll say engage one more time

for ten million dollars Why not like just four

years younger than him money when he's gone Well,

and all they gotta do really is Just use the

CGI to de -age him. Also, I really have to say

this. Some of the CG in this series looks really

cool, but I hate the set of the Last Serena or

whatever the hell it's called. I don't even know.

Is cheaper than Discovery. And Discovery looks

cooler. You know what? You know, it would look

cool. It would be super cheap compared to what

they did using models. And I don't know why they

don't just do it again. It's not oh it cost a

million dollars to make a model They're spending

75 million dollars on these seasons a practical

effect. Just use the you know, do what they did

in TNG It doesn't make any sense, especially

when they're renewing these shows for three years

or two years at a time Make physical things you

can reuse in every episode so you don't have

to have to redo all the graphics every time I

can understand now, maybe it might be more time

consuming to shoot practical, but I can only

imagine how much it takes or how long it takes

to create these things in one of them or whatever.

They used to be able to do 26 episodes in one

10 month period. Why can't they do it? They're

doing 10 episodes and they're like, oh, we've

gone behind schedule. Well, what is wrong with

you if you can't even do that right? Like, not

to mention, do you notice something about the

show? For a show about Picard, they advertise

as Picard being in space. There is one minute

of maybe space footage in every episode. Yeah.

Oh, by the way, another little plot thing. Okay.

So do you remember when they go to this planet?

I don't even know what it's called because that's

how little I care. And, um, Which one? Soji.

And she looks up and she sees her sister being

built on the table. She looks up and sees the

moon. Yeah, and it's all lightning and that's

how the atmosphere is supposed to look. Funny

how they arrive and it's midsummer in Southern

California. And there's nothing going on and

there's no twin moons. Yeah, funny that. Just

a thing I noticed. Unless she was assembled at

Maddox's. Which is a possibility, but then again,

let's admit it, they're not that clever. That's

the thing, though. This series should have been

on the ball. This series should have been in

a Bible written like years ago, as opposed to

hastily slapped together when CBS gave them a

budget when they decided, hey, guys, we got to

get our streaming service up and going, hey,

guys, we got to we got to get a flagship product

going. Hey, guys, we're in trouble where you

start filming in six months. And I feel like

let's be super duper woke and everything we make.

I know it's annoying. It's with every program,

though, now. like there's no intelligent thought

behind it that's like star trek has always been

very progressive being progressive and catering

to it's just the way it's shot the way they talk

is very very much like they're like let's get

the cool kids that are eight like 18 to 34 to

get like the sound cooler that that's r -rated

that will never actually buy any of the the discs

when they come out because they're not people

that even do that Like you should be catering

to the audience that actually watches it. Yeah,

which is people 30 to 70 that have disposable

income that are willing to watch something that's

rated PG -13 not rated R for no reason Well,

see this and this is the thing too is because

it's so dark. It's not even a track show I could

even possibly show to my kids and it's not one

that my wife would even care about because of

how dark and how like just Evil the show is just

like discovery. She wouldn't find that amusing

either like I've gotten her to watch some TNG

and she genuinely enjoys it but it's It's better

writing. It's just they don't try and push the

envelope in front of your face the whole time

Like yeah, they'll they'll kind of keep you aware

of like social situations going on Game of Thrones.

Let's pull this guy's eye out and chop it off

Yeah, I mean that's just not something that doesn't

even appeal to me. Honestly, like I would I feel

because it's on the streaming service, they're

just pushing the envelope because they can. More

so than anything else. And that was a Freaks

episode, was it not? Yes, he did not write it,

though. OK, just. Yeah, he just got stuck with

directing it. I have a feeling that's going to

be a lot of people. I got stuck doing this. It

was a paycheck. Freaks cares. That'll give them.

But so many moments in this series leave me feeling

so underwhelmed and mad. I haven't been mad at

a TV show since 24. The last season of that just

pissed me off. But this is just I'm hopeful for

the first couple minutes. Seven nine comes on

screen. Okay, I'm there for a few seconds. And

then she says or does something stupidly out

of character. Then Jurati shows up does something.

I don't know why you're letting a person who

is a murderer Watch over Picard. Yeah, like that's

a thing like she just killed she just kills Maddox

You know because she was left alone with him

and so like let's just leave Picard. Well, you

know, he's passed out anyway Well Picard traditionally

would have locked her up and like covered her

mouth and waited till they Brought her to the

next penal colony like he would have been like

send her to the brig. Yeah And that would have

been it period It doesn't make any sense why

he's even acting and why is everyone able to

shut off all the all of Rio's EMH isn't except

him Especially since none of them have any position

on the ship No, and and especially with Gerardi

being super flaky and not actually being a trustworthy

person Like I almost feel like somebody needs

to go in to their writers room and just start

Highlighting on a whiteboard all the things they

did wrong and go here's simple things on how

you fix it and I feel like they won't because

Ultimately, I don't think any of those writers

care as long as they're getting paid Nobody know

I'm telling I'm not to do it Well, and then the

other middle finger to to the fans how CBS all

access made Picard free now Like you can you

can completely stream the show at no cost that

is because they're not they're not getting enough

viewers and because of the people being in isolation

Yeah, I think they're trying to trying to get

people, you know It's only good for us subscribers,

of course because it's CBS all access but I think

it's because they want people to watch the finale

and hopefully Drag them back for season two,

which well, I don't know how strong it's doing

They need more episodes of these shows. They

need a track that does one -off episodes because

we're getting these gaps of seven to nine months

between shows. Like this was over a year between

Discovery completing season two and the start

of this. And then we're waiting, what, another

year nearly? Yeah, for season two of this. And

then we're going to... Discovery, I thought,

was supposed to come out this summer or start

airing. That's being pushed. Because of the coronavirus.

There's gonna be nothing like they're the CBS

All Access has nothing. They got like a garbage.

There are no must watch shows. They have a garbage

spin off of the good wife call or or the good.

Was it the good one place? No. Good. The good.

Yeah. The good wife or something that was like

a political show. They have a spin off as a lawyer

show like the good fight. Who? I know what you

mean. Yeah. Yeah. Who cares? And then they've

got a cop show that was a sitcom that it's already

been canceled. They have like one other drama

and that's it for their entire network. There

is no must -see TV on there. And in Canada they've

got like three shows because they have none of

the Star Trek stuff and they're still expecting

like four or five dollars a month like are they

out of their minds? Yeah, see I I honestly don't

like the fact that they strong -arm people into

these these subscription services Especially

when all of the programming is subpar or it's

stuff that I've already seen ad nauseam that

I don't care to revisit Well, whoever was there

whoever was their digital content strategist

didn't plan more than six months ahead and That's

terrible in television. You need to be thinking

like 18 months. You need to plan for pre -production,

production, post -production, and then when the

thing actually airs, and also account for maybe

things might happen around the world. I'm not

saying they could have foreseen the coronavirus,

though ultimately whatever, that's another topic

for a different day. But what I'm saying is They

can't have these big long gaps between seasons.

As we discussed on Altered Geek before, unless

you have must -see television airing at a fairly

consistent pace, maybe you can have a gap a month

here and there. You always have to be engaging

the viewer, giving something back, engaging your

audience either through your app or through your

streaming platform, giving them something consistent.

Maybe an exclusive season of Big Brother, an

exclusive season of Survivor, shows that are

relatively easy and cheap to produce, that would

draw people in. That has a huge fan base and

value, whereas so does Star Trek, but they take

so much longer to make. But they didn't do that

for whatever reason. CBS All Access was a vanity

project that they just wanted to hop on before

NBC launched Peacock. And HBO Max comes out.

Actually, I don't even know whether that's been

pushed yet. Probably not. They have a lot of

content. But while you're talking, I'll pull

up to tell you how much more content each of

those has. Like CBS All Access is not ready.

It should not have launched with anything less

than three or four flagship shows that could

be aired several times a month that would carry

them through at least a traditional period and

then have a few smaller shows like exclusive

reality or maybe like a spinoff like Alex mentioned

or maybe import shows from another country or

something something that would carry the carry

the ball for a while until your flagship shows

can come back. But they didn't do it. It actually

has less content or less new shows than the Apple

surface launched with and people made fun of

that. Right? Like Apple had about six shows.

Well, they got like three. So here's the thing

right here. So programs by CBS All Access. Dramas,

The Good Fight, Star Trek Discovery, Star Trek

Picard, Interrogation. And there are 10 episode

seasons each. And they're spread apart by months.

Comedies, No Activity, and Why Women Kill. That's

it. The rest are anthologies and things that

haven't started yet. Don't they have the Twilight

Zone? Nope. Did that get cancelled? Oh, sorry,

they have that. It's been renewed. Yeah. That's

right. They have the Twilight Zone at the bottom

here. But like, tell me a story in short strecks.

They've got a total of, what is it here? Eight,

eight shows. And that's in the course of three

years. That's not enough to carry a network.

That's not enough to carry a television channel.

You would literally have to fill it with reruns

of Friends and Seinfeld. Like NBC Universal's

Peacock. Here's what they're going to have. They

have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven,

eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17,

18. They have ordered to stagger out over the

course of a year and a half. The current list

is 35 shows and one movie. So 35 shows and one

movie in a year, year and a half maximum versus

eight in three years. HBO Max. about 25 dramas

one two three four five six about 20 comedies

four miniseries ten animation shows three adult

animation shows and ten different reality shows

that they're making and that's all within the

first year year and a half maximum And we're

not including things like Amazon Prime, Netflix,

or Disney Plus. That is just literally Warner

Brothers HBO making that with some stuff that's

co -produced with CW. And the other one is Peacock,

which is NBC Universal. So that's the direct

competition to them. And they're starting their

first year with 10 to 12 times the content they've

had in three years. and CBS All Access thinks

that having Star Trek is enough. So like you

talked about your predictions, Mike. I had a

few, you know, I threw some really funny, stupid

ones trying to see if I'd break your brain online.

And you were just like, stop, stop, it hurts.

But my idea was similar to Steve's where it was

about bringing uh data back the smart way would

be to bring data back and have him do whatever

basically do a second sacrifice to have to kill

whatever ancient you know alien synthetic races

it comes to get them the reapers or whatever

which you know sure whatever or that you go the

card route where they merge together and then

we get the sort of like hybrid techno -organic

creature that has to fight for the rights of,

uh... Well, they could have Data come back and

just not have him wear all the makeup and all

that goofy stuff. Like, they could have him just

look naturally old so that he would be aged like

Picard. Well, yeah, this was my thought, was,

okay, you want to get around it and you can do

it in a creative way. That really doesn't take

much thought. Have Drati help soon put his body

or... put himself into the robot body. So it's,

you know, a human going into there. So they're

making it look like him. And at the last minute,

she just literally replaces the neural network

with data from Soji. Soji helps her. Done. And

then they extract data. So she's her own person.

And then data is back. Yeah, data is back. And

he gets what he always wanted to be. He's aged

like a human would age. You know, he won't age

much beyond this is the idea. But and then he

gets to be the father figure. And then he get

and then they leave him on a happy note with

all of his Android people. Yeah, and he takes

he basically takes them away to MacGuffin land

to help stop whatever Whatever aliens are coming

or he's gonna he's gonna leave for half a season

to try to do research and stop something or he's

gonna become an advocate for Android life Blah

de de blah because technically uh he's dead right

but he died at a time when he was still considered

a citizen of the federation right so so to get

reinstated as a federation person like i'm back

because technically you know he can go to you

know military court and champion himself because

whereas all the other androids were basically

worker droids right and he was he was the only

one ruled sentient real sentient and as a commissioned

officer so he doesn't even have to abide by regular

courts so there's things they could do that way

that would be interesting and fun and they're

probably not going to do it well season two is

supposed to deal with like i i heard rumors that

they're going to have their holographic doctor

return and so i'm wondering if they're going

to they're going to touch on oh we have hologram

people now and you know we have to fight for

their rights now and so Picard it'll just be

a rerun of season one um but they're gonna have

Guinan so it's hard to say unless they're gonna

make Picard oh let's throw him in the Nexus so

that you know he's gone forever and have a happy

ending I swear to god that's that's the only

way you're ever gonna get Shatner back because

he said he's never gonna do it but anytime somebody

says they're never gonna do something randomly

for no reason they end up doing it is they'll

have they'll find a way to get Shatner out and

it'll be like in the Nexus or he'll do a voiceover

for Like he'll do a voiceover for a hologram

or something. They'll have holographic Kirk That

would be yeah where he doesn't actually have

to act and they just have a CGI yeah, they CGI

him to look a certain way or They CGI him and

they're like, I don't remember you looking like

that and he's like so and he just goes on and

just whatever Because Kirk's cocky and doesn't

care. He could be like, yeah, well, I chose to

do this. Like, why do you look older? He goes,

I chose to look older. Why not? I can do whatever

I want. And then they just flip them back and

forth to make them look younger and older. And

he's like, this feels more comfortable. And then

have literally have had it like, you know, like

have him running a bar as a like a holographic

bartender who works with Guinan. Who knows? Whatever.

You could do something stupid like that. And

Michael get mad and it'll be hilarious. But But

yeah, like I think that the whole idea of bringing

data back the way I said might work. I think

it would be interesting if it turns out that,

you know, Suing is not lore, it could possibly

could be. Like, wouldn't it be interesting if

he's, you know, he - He's - Lore emerged with

him? Yeah. Like the idea was he's got some sort

of illness. Or he doesn't, or he's - like the

idea would be the old Soong, you know, original

Soong, based lore on his real life son, like

his real life son's personality. That was the

personality. And that was what failed. That was

what failed. And that's basically why you've

never heard of a son is because his son was basically,

you know, discarded because he was inferior because

they put his personality in an Android and it

was insane. So then the idea is Data is literally

based off of soon's own brain activity. And then

you could go with that because in the episode,

uh, this, you know, the younger son here, uh,

talks about data and he's like, you know, Talks

about them. Like lore talked about them that,

you know, it's like, oh, it's this, it's the

son that was liked data, one that was liked.

And it's like, that's kind of something the lore

would say. I know I was getting a lot of lore

vibes from, from soon. So, you know, it would

be interesting. Yeah, like if those androids

are all just basically the sentence of the wrong

code It's like oh I was able to replicate so

many it's like why because he used his own brain

Let's say he patterned them after his own brain.

He goes, okay Well, it turns out that that's

what happened with lore or something because

they never brought lore back It would be interesting

to do something with him or even if he's never

gonna show up but do something with his matrix

positive matrix or whatever and It would be interesting

if that was discovered by Maddox and, you know,

while doing research and if this was the case

of he didn't go away to, uh, you know, discover

the reason he said he went away to discover the

reason why, you know, they banned, uh, they banned,

uh, synthetic life and all that, blah, blah,

blah. What if it was more a case of they were

on the run? Like he, he, he didn't want to, he

had suspicions about something being wrong with

soon. And then. Takes off under the pretense

of something else I could see that because Maddox

seemed to always kind of know more than what

he was letting on to and the fact that data was

willing to work with him even despite everything

that happened and He could tell that data actually

was a good person Yeah, so something something's

up. I feel like it's almost it's almost like

somebody did write a series Bible for this and

they're not following it Like they set up a lot

of good ideas. And it's not me reading too far

into this. They're giving enough hints, but then

never following through with any of the hints.

Like why bother dropping a hint that you're gonna

go one direction when you don't do it every single

time? Like they tell you they're gonna go right

and they zag left every single episode. So, you

know, what are your predictions you think for

the second part? Like other than just what we

were talking about, do you think it's gonna end

on this big? You know, super duper cliffhanger.

Are we going to get a space battle? Are we going

to see? The enterprise is going to show up. The

bore cube is going to play some important role,

but we're not going to see it fight in space.

And we're going to get a heroic send off with

the traditional TNG theme. Picard will be rejuvenated

and he'll say, engage, fade the credits. Now

question, do you think I had a theory that the

The borg were not like I saw some people saying

oh the borg themselves are the you know, that

ancient alien race destroys Wouldn't it be interesting

if the borg original race? Where were the originally

from them from that from that planet where they

left the warning and the borg because they did

say the borg came around from Like thousands

to hundreds of thousands of years ago. Yeah,

but they also say the borg originated in the

delta quadrant Which nothing says that this didn't

happen in the Delta cry. Yeah, they don't they

don't show where that planets located That's

true. But I guess if they want to retcon their

own stuff I think if I think bringing the Borg

into this other than People have a hard on for

the Borg because it's the biggest, coolest looking

bad guy Star Trek has ever had. And it's a cool

nostalgia factor. I think using the Borg was

kind of a mistake in this. Instead of forging

a new bad guy, they relied a little too heavily

on old ones. And I don't know. I just, I can't

see anything them giving us being as cool as

what we can imagine. Because honestly, we weren't

in that writer's room and we weren't paid in

Taco Bell. So I am Taco Bell. No, but you know,

these these people were paid well. That's the

biggest problem. That disappoints me. If this

was a low like it's like it's like, couldn't

we get paid? You know, a little bit of that.

If this was, you know, a low budget project,

I'd be like, OK, I get what they tried to do.

But. It's stupid. The stuff that they film with

the actors is super high quality on super high

quality film stock and cinematography. Every

bit of CG looks like something from 10, 12 years

ago. And it doesn't make much. Why is this filmed

in super wide screen with amazing cinematography?

And then everything else looks like it was done

in Babylon five. Like. Why? Why do your graphics

look standard deaf? Especially when you go back

and watch the last couple episodes of Discovery.

There's more budget spent in that two -part finale

than there was in this entire show. Not to mention

the set of the ship. Everything looks like somebody's

community college lab. Exactly. That's exactly

what I was about to say. It looks like something

I could have built in first year college if we

happen to have a couple of really nice office

chairs and a program that could make Iron Man

type graphics. Because it's so plain. And the

set doesn't take... They have to do the old fashioned

original Star Trek thing where they turn their

own bodies. There's no motion. There's no feel.

There's no personality to that bridge. Like even...

Like even from a Star Trek design aesthetic,

it doesn't fit. And I realize this is not a Starfleet

vessel. No, this was a thing that was designed

in AutoCAD in like 20 minutes. OK, guys, shit,

we got all the money for all the actors and all

the big set pieces. Shit, we forgot to design

a bridge. OK, what do you got? We got 20 minutes

before the pizza gets here. What do you got?

It looks like something you'd see in Firefly,

not something. Yeah. Like, it looks like something

from one of the bad guys' ships in Firefly. It

looks like no ship ever looked. And here's the

thing, if they're like, it's the future. It's

20 years in the future. Like, 20 years in the

future, you're telling me they have no manual

controls at all? Like, I understand that they

would move away from, like, you know, static

-looking touchpads. Maybe they would have, like,

a large screen that had lots of configurable

buttons that could move in different directions.

but you're telling me that every ship in the

future here and first of all did you notice they

only ever show uh the bird of prey and their

ship they don't show any large ships that have

larger crews they don't show any other controls

no giant ship would have all the controls be

a holographic thing like the borg No, the controls

are just basically board controls. And why is

that? Because they can just magically play piano

in the air We can just animate whatever we want

around it. Well, and they even said on the on

location that they had some of the actors from

the old stuff were trying to figure out how you

know all the pushing the buttons and everything

because they actually work as opposed to having

something else that's you know, just kind of

stationary and they do and post So yeah, like

do you think any of these things will be addressed

in season two now that we know it's coming? Absolutely

not It's gonna be another show that CBS is gonna

rush out Then we don't even know when the show

is gonna be in production because we don't know

how long this whole Quarantine is gonna last

Because if sir Patrick Stewart gets this kovat

virus, he's done Pretty much like game over man.

Well, then you know what you do He's not doing

anything right now You you oh, here's something

interesting. You want to get a real fuck you

moment where you're gonna throw up the fuck you

hands I Got it for you right here, buddy They

put Picard's brain into the new robot body and

it's a younger body and they just make it Tom

Hardy That would be kind of clever or Maybe they

or maybe they pass on him and they get the guy

that plays young Xavier. Oh James McAvoy, you

know what? I'd be okay with that He wants to

do it. No, no, no, no Mike Mike they get the

guy from the the Star Trek the next generation

triple -x porn parody That wasn't in any porn

remember you remember this horrible he didn't

do any porn He was just in the scenes on the

ship where everybody else was having sex. And

I remember I cut out every bit of sex in that

and it was still a 25 minute episode of Next

Gen with this lookalike actor going, make it

so on the bridge while everybody else was having

sex in the background. Have that guy come in

and then have everybody do like a double take

going, where have I seen that guy before? He

needs to be a background actor like as like a

hidden Easter egg I would put 20 bucks into a

go fund me for that I pay his salary for a day,

and I don't know okay, okay, and then you know

have like in Discovery you have Kirk show up

and it's Evan Stone who played him in They're

triple X porn parodies you just just start casting

porn actors because they're cheaper and the writing

is about on par with a porno anyway, so like

It'll be interesting but as far as like serious

Like my serious predictions for next episode.

I think it's gonna be an amalgamation of a little

bit of everything that we said there They're

like, I doubt at this point with the amount of

times that we've sort of psychoanalyzed what

they're doing. I doubt they're going to surprise

us with this. Are we going to get, are we going

to get a Reaper fight? Do you think? I think

we're going to get the first thing come through.

They're going to destroy it. Data's they're going

to destroy it with data's help somehow. So G

slash data's help. And they're going to get a

message from, from data, like in his mind as

a dream. And he's going to say that was just

the scout. So it's literally gonna be Mass Effect

2. It's literally gonna be Harbinger. Yes Yes,

yes, and and we're gonna see we're gonna see

flashes of different things and we're gonna see

one of those We're gonna see the ships with all

them on it But then we're gonna see a man in

a cloak and it's gonna be like like a betrayer

from from Earth or something And or we're gonna

see like what we assume to be data on the ship

with them but that'll be lore or something like

that. That'll be the cliffhanger ending. I want

my Reaper fight. That's what I want. I have a

feeling there's going to be a lot of upset fans.

Oh my God. You will see a collective hashtag

at 4 a .m. Eastern WTF Picard. Are you going

to tag me in it? You damn right I am. I'm going

to start that hashtag. The last time I checked,

which was episode three, it had 100 % on Rotten

Tomatoes. It's down to 89 now. Who is reading

these? Look at what happened to The Orville!

Well, remember, Discovery got 100 % for what

was it the whole season, no matter how terrible

that show was. And The Orville got like 20%.

Yeah, and then season two of The Orville got

like 100. But the audience score has dropped

from 95 % to 62%. Thank God. And that's... the

thing. And I want to make it abundantly clear.

If I haven't over these last few episodes, I

want this show to succeed. I just expect more

from what I've got. Because I know there can

be some talented people behind and in front of

the camera. It's just I'm not seeing it on screen

right now. And there's no reason why I shouldn't

be. But if you're going to give me a Star Trek

version of Mass Effect, I better get a Reaper

out of it. Well, not to mention Are any of the

new cast of characters likeable? I like Raffy,

kinda. I like Rios. I just don't think any of

them are gonna stick around. Here's the thing,

do any of them fit Star Trek? No. Maybe Rios,

maybe. It's the characters, the way they're shot.

It's a well -made show as far as the filming.

Something about the way everybody moves. physically

in the space, like in the actual set doesn't

feel like Star Trek. I don't know what it is.

Well, it almost feels like a soap opera. I can

kind of give you a little bit of insight on that

because if you, if you look back at the original

series that we're talking about from enterprise

on back, Those sets were very practical. They

were very claustrophobic. So they had to move

a specific way for those cameras. Now you can

do virtual cameras and move the camera around

the actor. So the actor does have a little bit

more freedom to move around the set. If they

want to chew the scenery, I think. I think this

comes from a more modern form of directing, because

a lot of the people who directed the older episodes

were directing older television. But here's the

thing, the Orville has the exact feel of those

old shows. Probably because they want to emulate

it. But I think some of it has to do with the

actors. Very few of these people have traditional

stage acting. Yeah, that's probably it too. Whereas

pretty much absolutely everybody from Enterprise

earlier, especially the captains and the main

people in the crew, were song and dance men and

women from Broadway and traditional theater acting.

They knew how to... capture attention with their

movements. Like it just, you know what I mean?

It just feels like people are too loose. Like

the Star Trek people used to complain that it

was so stiff, but that's Star Trek. Why are the

people not stiff? I want my people to barely

be able to move, barely move, make it so difficult

that Riker has to step over a chair to get into

it. Although if he did that now, I think his

gut would throw him off balance and he'd fall

over into the pizza oven. Thanks Ryker. Yeah,

I'm not wrong, but he was again by the far the

most enjoyable thing I would say episodes seven

The newest one had stupid things But it was the

most like Trek other than seven, but specifically

the most like original Trek It almost felt like

they were purposely making them look like the

hippies and stuff that you show up on. Yeah That

was a common thing that I read about this episode

too. I mean, that's the thing though. This show

has likable components. I mean, if it has anything,

it's consistently inconsistent, but it has good

moments in each episode. Inconsistent. That needs

to be a t -shirt. I mean, it's so weird because

there are moments of potential brilliance in

each episode where you're like, oh man, this

feels like Star Trek. But then that childlike

wonder is ripped away from you when something

stupid happens. Well, here's the thing. So they

go to the magical planet with all the magical

androids. Cool. And they all have they're all

supposedly have data's DNA in them. Cool. Which

means they have, they have like, you know what

I mean? They have all the knowledge of Starfleet,

everything he's ever done is in them. Cool. And

so many of them behave like they've never seen

other people before in their lives. Not to mention,

I'm just gonna go into the cell and get murdered.

Like, they do things that Data would never do.

Yet they've got Data's DNA and, you know, it

doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. I

mean, the, the... yellow skinned version of dodge

and soji looks super duper hot like that but

at the same time it doesn't or also like how

is it that picard after meeting them like immediately

doesn't go they're evil like if he knows data

so well why why do none of them act like data

except for the two girls he met Yeah, I think

that would have been a pretty big tip off to

say hey Something's wrong here. I actually laughed

so hard when my brother is over that I almost

peed my pants Just went soon is like look what

they've done to you with the one that was murdered

He's like, oh my children. Look what they've

done to you. All of mankind should end. It's

like What he was acting like a mad scientist,

but like a mad scientist in the 1950s, which

is great Yeah, that was a great hammy moment

that I thought was delicious. I laughed pretty

hard when that moment happened, actually. That's

the thing. Star Trek should make you chuckle,

but Star Trek should not make you outright cackle

with laughter. I mean, well, I mean, unless it's

the Gorn. Like, yeah, it shouldn't make you cackle

with laughter unless it's like the 60s stuff.

Or I'm trying to think if anything even came

close. Nothing in DS 9 made me cackle. Voyager.

There was some goofy stuff. Yeah. There was some

goofy stuff in, in Voyager, but it was, it was

never meant to be played super intentionally

funny. Like sometimes the doctor would say something

witty or seven and say something witty. Like

there would be some witty moments, but this is

a serious moment. What have they done to you?

And you can't help but go, what in the hell is

going on? All I heard in my head was Calculon.

What I was thinking it's androids and it's and

it's Calculon the actor And I tell my brother

I'm like I'm just waiting for he doesn't bought

to show up over the grapes Pearl my nipples and

all it like that's basically the kind of stuff

That's what he was saying. It was it was his

voice is inflection It was like he was so lazy

like why record on a day when you're when you

sound that bad He watched Futurama in his trailer

before he came out. That's the only take they

got. I feel like, I feel like Brent Spiner said

in interviews, he's like, I'm, he was all pumped

to come back and do these little things. Yeah.

I felt like he said that and secretly he's like,

I'm going to tank this soap pad. They never asked

me back. And, and you know what? He's going to

carry that shit eating grid to every Star Trek

convention from here on out saying, Oh yeah.

He's literally going to make an excuse to never

have to go ever again. He's like all of them

have coronavirus and he'll say that for the next

20 years till he dies. Did you guys ever hear

about the woman who stalked Brent Spiner for

years? What? There's a Star Trek documentary

which Alex is currently sourcing for me right

now. He's scouring the internet so he can find

me a source to legally buy it. And they talk

about a woman who wrote Brent Spiner as she talks

about the evil conspiracy about a certain group

of people are after her and Brent Spiner to prevent

their love consummating in a love child. or something

equally weird. I mean, this woman is an unfortunate

victim of mental illness, but it's kind of hilarious

when you hear exactly what she says. I wish her

well. I hope she gets better. But wow, Brent

Spiner certainly attracts a certain type of fandom.

But then again, hey, this is the same fandom

where people would dress up for jury duty in

Starfleet uniforms. I remember there was a Starfleet

dentist. There's a type of music called filk,

which is Star Trek folk music. I'm sorry. That

just sounds like that sounds like something furries

do. Um, I know there's Star Trek punk rock. Like

this fandom is pretty frigging weird, man. I

mean, we make fun of furries. We have, we have

the gorn. Um, I'm not, I'm not arguing that at

all. I'm just saying we also have bread spider.

Who's the joy? He is the grumpiest of old men.

Now, who could come back? Jordy looks the same,

so he'd be fine. I'm almost afraid, if they bring

back somebody, who are they gonna ruin next?

I know who wouldn't do it. I was watching a thing

on What Culture. They have a sub -channel called

Trek Culture. Garrett Wong won't do it because

evidently he's the only star cast member who

the producers outright said No, you are not directing

an episode. He even asked if his character could

be promoted. They're like, yeah, no They just

don't like you want to I guess not which is weird

because I really liked him, too I thought he

was the weakest part of the show Well, he had

more experience and half the people on that ship

they solved more problems with his help than

almost anybody else He's also the one that went

back in time and fixed the timeline. This is

true He just seems like the most bland actor

All I remember of him really like the first thing

comes about What's the very first thing comes

to mind when you think of him for me? It's like

what is it? Like the first time seven of nine

is there and asked him if he wants to have sex

What? That's the only time I ever laughed because

he's literally like, but after that, I was like,

even as a kid, I was like, and you didn't. I

think they should bring back Tim Russ as to walk.

I think that'd be really cool. Well, we need

a Vulcan. We'll have him be insane to walk or

have him be to walk. That's now lived in a monastery

and fix his mind. That's the tuvok. I want I

want to block truly the next head of Starfleet

security You know these writers what they're

gonna do. He's gonna show that's what he is in

Star Trek online You don't know you know what's

gonna happen. They're gonna get him back They're

gonna pull him up on the comms and when and have

him do a search for Picard and they'll be like

You know have you found Picard and he's gonna

come on and he's gonna instead of being himself

He's gonna be his character from spaceballs.

We ain't found shit That's all he's gonna say.

And then it's gonna move on. And I'll be like,

ah, broken. I don't know if they could do anybody

else like that. Some other people have aged pretty

bad. The guy that played Tom Paris has not aged

great. Robert Duncan McNeil. No, he's aged horribly.

Robert Beltran hates the franchise now. So I

hear, um, evidently he said in interviews, they

gave his character Chakotay nothing to do in

the last season of wager. So he phoned it in

the whole time. Um, and that's why they just

kill them off in season seven in that one episode.

I forgot about that. So that sucks is I really

liked his character cause you don't see many

native representation. Um, Really cool. I'm looking

through the Rolodex. Well, they're not bringing

back Neelix, but... No, because he stayed in

the Delta Quadrant. No, but they'll bring him

back as an actor, just as somebody else. Ethan

Phillips, yeah. And I really like him too. I

hope Robert Picardo should come back as Zimmerman

or as the EMH or however that... Actually, you

know what would be great if they brought back

Andy Dick as the EMH Mark II again. Oh no, they

can't because Andy Dick would pull his penis

out and rub it on everybody while they're filming

because it's not the first time he's done that.

So it's probably not a good idea to cast him,

but they could bring back. I don't know how long

is race is supposed to live, but how interesting

would it be if they went to like Starfleet medical

lake and somebody that's like a surgeon on the

on the board of directors is doc flocks from

enterprise. His species could live like several

hundred years. I don't remember how many years

they're supposed to live I think they live 400.

I want to say because they could bring duck flocks

back I think that's john billingsley. I think

that's the average name. Yeah That would be pretty

cool. I like have them like have you know have

Picard go in for his brain scan when he's falling

apart and literally have the medical board of

directors come in and the one of the people on

the board of directors is duck flocks and he

just like has like gray hair or whatever because

it's only been a couple hundred years if the

species lives to be 400 or something um they

could bring back dr crusher as uh gates mcfadden

though i don't know what her relationship is

with the franchise right now i think i think

if patrick stewart asked her to come back yeah

she's done some interviews on like on like prominent

youtube channels and she talks about track so

probably so she seems pretty favorable towards

it Well, she would favor everybody's favorable

towards money So yeah, like like everybody wants

Dorn, but they don't do it for whatever reason

Yeah, because and he says he's willing to don

the makeup if it's for one or two episodes or

for a movie As long as he's not the focal point.

He said anymore because that the time for the

for you know, Captain Worf is probably gone but

Geordi makes the most sense because it's literally

a couple contact lenses Unless they did what

they did in that Voyager episode where he had

real eyes. And he was captain of the USS Challenger

Galaxy Glass Starship. Yeah, sure. That's right.

They do that. I guess I could see. Well, OK,

I'm thinking of traditional actors that have

been in lots of things. They should bring in

the reanimator dude because he's played Herbert

West. No, that's Judd. You're thinking of Jeffrey

Combs. I'd like to see them bring back him. He'd

be a great guy to bring back. He's played like,

what, six or seven characters in the shows? Especially

in Enterprise and DS9. Yeah. But you could also

bring in... The girl that played Kira, I can't

think of her name. Oh, why am I trying to blank?

I can see the name in my head, but I can't. She

has a name that's not like a real name. No, wait,

she's dead, but Nicole de Boer. No, it's Naina

Visitor or something. Something like that. Yeah,

like not a real name. Is the woman who played,

is the character Dak still alive, technically?

Nicole de Boer? Okay, so you could bring her

back, see what she's doing. Yeah, they haven't

done anything to connect it to DS9. Like, it

would make sense if anything to tie it in there

somehow. The only problem with that is, is that

they felt so polarized with the franchise because

everybody was like, I hate you. I hate this series.

This series sucks. This isn't track. And so like,

I don't know if they would actually come back.

Which is unfortunate because everybody likes

DS9 now. Well, is Armin Shiverman still alive?

Cause if he is, they could just, you can find

a way to forget. The guy that played Nog died,

but, but like Armin's still alive. The guy who

played Nog, hilariously, when you see him in

real life, you're like, wow, they don't even

have to do much to get you to look like him.

I think he died of a heart attack last year or

something. He died recently. Was it that cancer?

Yeah, it was cancer or a heart attack. But it

was kind of amazing to me that when they picked

the Ferengi, they literally picked whoever would

look the easiest to get the makeup on. Or or

the person who can get the most performance out

of the makeup isn't the some of the guys that

play the Kardashians are dead, too The Kardashians

yeah Bad pun. Yeah but I think they're probably

gonna go with next year, but they could Q has

to show up or if there's oh and if they here's

the thing. Maybe they're afraid if they fuck

up a Q episode That's basically it for their

show Because Q can solve any problem by snapping

his fingers. So that's a trump card You want

to play it for a season finale or a season premiere?

Like that's not something you do a one -off with

because here's the thing if they are introduced

like my final thoughts on this episode because

I know we've gone meandering all around the places

if If it turns out that that captain we talked

about that, you know Captain deus ex machina

that knew where the planet was if it turns out

that that is Q and They find a way to weasel

him in How I think they're gonna end the show

The very very end it like after two three seasons

is for Picard to find out that his illness is

coming back he can do things to fix it blah blah

and Literally this whole thing with these synthetic

aliens has been another test that's how they'll

end it if they have a finite end in sight and

What the test is gonna end with is Picard is

gonna have to give up control Something he's

never been willing to do and then that's what

Riker's been talking about He's gonna give up

control and he's gonna make his own sacrifice

and that then they're gonna snap the fingers

and you know, the card will be gone and You know,

whatever happened will be fixed and people will

be going on their ways and they won't even know

that happened Like it'll you'll find out like

that the whole show will end and you know, it'll

zoom out and you'll you'll find out that Picard

hadn't, in this version or whatever has been

changed, he did not. He saved whatever, or let's

say the Mars attack didn't actually happen. And

the reality is he died saving everybody with

the synthetics. He died saving all the Romulans.

And that's how he's remembered. So literally

because he said he was wasting away doing nothing

for the last 15 20 years So that's how I think

it would end if they were smart is you know,

this the last 20 years of his life has actually

been a test If they were clever I would commend

them because his entire even the entire Next

-gen show was always about testing him and testing

humanity True So that's it for Alex's thoughts.

I don't know. It could be interesting. We'll

have to see how it kind of goes. So that's pretty

much going to do it for this episode of Future

Imperfect. So coming up next week on the show,

we actually do have something a little bit special

for you. So we're going to continue our coverage

of Picard and we're going to review the series

as a whole. And we're going to welcome a guest

of Future Imperfect, something we haven't done

in quite a number of years. We're going to welcome

a writer who's worked on some of the Star Trek

properties. He's worked on several of the RPG

properties. I'm not going to say his name right

now simply because I don't know how to pronounce

his last name, but I've been talking with this

guy throughout the whole of Picard. He's got

me excited to play the Star Trek role playing

game, which is really cool. And speaking of that,

I should have a review of Star Trek Adventures,

the Delta Quadrant source book, which just got

released from Modiphius in probably about two

weeks. I'm looking forward to covering that,

because Voyagers, the Star Trek, I know the most.

And I'm reading through the book right now. It's

138 pages so far. I'm really impressed. And it's

really neat just to see what they can do. They

even talk about the the Krenim Empyrean time

ship and how that can really screw with your

game if you really want to be that much of a

douchebag game master. So all I think the Krenim

time, so I just picture it's like, what are we

doing now? It's like. We're getting rid of that

planet, why? Because they're all a bunch of dumbasses.

Captain Red Foreman. Yeah, I'm just picturing

Janeway calling him, and he goes, you've got

to stop this, blah, blah, we're going to stop

you. And he's like, well, I'm going to stick

my foot up your ass. And then he just runs after

them for 100 years or whatever. The year of hell.

So yeah, so that's going to do it for us here

from Future Imperfect. So for Future Imperfect,

I have been your Lieutenant Commander, second

in command on this vessel. I've been Mike the

Birdman Dodd, joined with Alex with his crazy

conspiracies. Steve, take us out. And I've been

Steve Megatron Phillips. And until next time,

live long and prosper.